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WAVE: Big Book Study with Corey Session Five - There Is a Solution Part 1 · The Daily Ripples Podcast

0:05
Hey guys, it's Corey. Welcome back to the Wave book study.
0:10
We're on chapter There's a Solution on
0:15
page 17. And the way
0:19
I kind of view this and the way my sponsor views this is the way
0:22
we kind of go through this is the same way I take another
0:26
guy through the book. Um, we went through preface, through forwards,
0:31
then we went to the doctor's opinion. We went to
0:35
Bill's story, page 1 through 8. That's the bad stuff,
0:38
right? You know, that's his downfall. And then 9
0:41
through 16 is the stuff that he did, you know, that happened in between,
0:44
that, you know, what happened through his spiritual
0:47
experience to helping others and everything in between. And, you know, so And
0:52
I think it's important the way we're going to keep on going through this.
0:55
So the way we'll go through this is 17 through 23
1:00
next, and it encompasses like a lot
1:04
of, you know, so there's a solution. When they first got
1:08
started, when Bill first started writing this stuff,
1:12
all there was was there's a solution and Bill's story.
1:17
It's interesting that he put his story at
1:22
the first part of the book. But anyways,
1:27
so 17 through 23 though,
1:31
the way I read this, there's other things that are very important,
1:34
but it encompasses the thing that when I take a
1:38
drink, I want more. The physical side of
1:43
this. And we talked about that in the doctor's opinion, but that's what separates me
1:47
from somebody else. That's what makes me different,
1:51
is the fact that this allergy comes, and when I take a drink, I want
1:55
more, plain and simple. And so I think it's important that, you know,
1:58
that's brought up before we start. But we're
2:02
gonna go ahead and get this thing started on— so at the top of
2:06
page 17, I have the first promise
2:12
right here in this chapter, is the first 4 words is,
2:15
there's a solution. And I have that underlined in pink.
2:19
It goes on to say, we of Alcoholics Anonymous know thousands
2:24
of men and women who were just as hopeless as Bill. And I think
2:28
coming into that right there, I think the question comes
2:32
up, were you just as hopeless as Bill? Were you hopeless?
2:35
Because that is an ingredient of the basic white cake
2:39
recipe, right? So that's the eggs to a
2:44
white cake recipe. That is an ingredient, hopelessness.
2:49
Um, it says, who were once just as hopeless as Bill,
2:53
nearly all have recovered. They have solved
2:56
the drink problem. And so that— and I had those 2 sentences highlighted
3:01
in pink. Um, and to go back, if we
3:05
went back and looked at, uh, what we're recovered from, it's on— it's in the
3:09
doctor— no, it's in the foreword to the first edition on
3:13
XII. XIII. I'm sorry.
3:18
And it says, we of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100
3:22
men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state
3:26
of mind and body. So that's what, like, when we talk about
3:30
recovered, and I have the word recovered underlined
3:35
right there too, and I have it everywhere in the Big Book underlined because I
3:39
don't think it's You know,
3:42
there's controversy within this stuff, and people are like, well, I'm still recovering.
3:47
Well, I like to go by the basic text of our society,
3:51
and it says recovered, and I can agree with that. Because, and as we go
3:55
through, I'll show you how that's kind of represented. But, um,
3:58
anyways, back to the text on page 17.
4:02
We are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its
4:07
occupations are represented. As well as many political,
4:10
economic, social, and religious backgrounds. We are
4:14
people who would normally not mix. And that's a cool
4:18
statement right there, because if we remember in the foreword to the 4th
4:22
edition, they put that statement in there. We were people who would
4:26
normally not mix because there wasn't a lot of women.
4:29
So if we flip back in that foreword to
4:33
the 4th edition, It says
4:37
in here on XXIII,
4:43
it says, we're— when the phrase we are people who are normally not mixed,
4:47
page 17 of this book, was written in 1939, it referred to a
4:51
fellowship composed largely of men and a few
4:55
women with quite similar socioeconomic and
4:59
economic backgrounds. Like so much of AA's basic texts,
5:03
those words have proved to be far more visionary than the founding members
5:07
could have ever imagined. And I just think that's important to, you know,
5:11
to know, because like, man, like, and it's
5:15
cool today, and it's cool because we are represented
5:20
amongst a bunch of different backgrounds. And yeah, I,
5:24
and I think, you know, the thing is about that is, you know,
5:27
God will create, like God creates. And, you know, if you go to these
5:31
different meetings and you go to these different places, you know, you'll find
5:35
a bunch of different people like us. But, you know, I don't think,
5:39
you know, you have to subject yourself to the only place you go to.
5:42
Um, I sponsor a couple Black gentlemen, and,
5:46
uh, you know, we talk about this a lot. You know,
5:50
don't feel like— I mean, and, you know, it's funny because, you know, this dude,
5:53
he— one in particular, one's a good friend of mine, and, um,
5:57
he takes dudes through the steps. And, you know, he was talking the
6:02
other night at a speaker thing, and he He was talking about the first
6:05
day, the first meeting he went to was a bunch of old white men,
6:08
old grumpy white men, and that's his home group.
6:12
And I've told him though, I'm like, man, the cool thing about you being in
6:15
there, because if there is a Black dude that comes in there, you can be
6:19
there for him. Because he might not feel comfortable around
6:23
these dudes. But I just think it's important to look at also on
6:28
the flip side of that, I don't have to be somewhere where I don't feel
6:32
a part of, because if I don't feel a part of that group,
6:35
there's hundreds of other meetings, there's hundreds of
6:39
different other people. Anyways, goes on
6:43
to say, but there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which
6:47
is indescribably wonderful. And I have that,
6:51
that sentence highlighted in pink, and then I have this
6:55
highlighted in yellow. We are like the passengers of a great
6:58
liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck, when camaraderie,
7:02
joyousness, and democracy pervade the vessel from the steerage
7:06
to the captain's table. So from the back of the bus to the front
7:10
of the bus, from the rich to the poor, it doesn't matter who you are
7:14
and where you come from. We're all the same because we have the same
7:19
thing. And that thing that unites us is this common
7:22
problem. It says, unlike the feelings of ship's passengers,
7:26
however, our joy and escape from disaster does not subside as
7:29
we go in our individual ways. Now I have the
7:34
rest of all this underlined and highlighted,
7:38
um, just the rest of this page.
7:42
And so it goes on to say, the feeling of having shared in common
7:45
peril— common peril, common problem— So peril,
7:49
problem, is the one element in the powerful cement which
7:53
binds us. So it's talking about we have one element, that's one element.
7:57
And here's the, this is kind of like the,
8:02
not hazard, this is kind of like the caution to people that are like,
8:05
meeting makers make it. It says, but that in itself would never
8:09
have held us together, for we are now joined. So I want you to
8:13
think about, and I think about this, 'cause I've been in a lot of different
8:16
institutions, and institutions, by jails,
8:20
by rehabs, different things like that.
8:25
Been in a different— a lot of other places too. Just a job.
8:28
What's our problem? Well, we need money. That makes sense.
8:33
And there's a solution for that too, right? You had that job,
8:36
need money, get paycheck.
8:40
Well, jail,
8:43
half problem. A lot of people in these jails
8:46
and institutions I wouldn't say all of them.
8:50
It's not something that you have to be an
8:54
alcoholic to be in jail. I don't think you have, just because you're in
8:57
and out of institutions and jails, that means that you are an alcoholic.
9:00
I don't think that just checks the box because the
9:05
common problem is when I take a drink, I want more and I feel
9:08
uncomfortable if I don't get it and I go to any means to get it.
9:15
But with that in itself, it would never have held us together.
9:19
So just a bunch of people in jail have just a problem,
9:24
but there's no solution. Anyways, it goes on
9:28
to say, the tremendous fact for every one of us that we've discovered a
9:31
common solution. So common problem, common solution,
9:35
that in itself, that's the cement. And I
9:39
would just mark, you don't have to flip over here, but put
9:44
page 75 beside that, and I'm gonna
9:48
flip there real quick and just tell you why. At the bottom of that page
9:51
of 75, and this is in the 5th step,
9:55
but the 3rd to the last line says, have we skimped
9:59
on the cement put in the foundation? Have we tried
10:03
to make mortar without sand? So when I look
10:07
at that and I think like, because that's like I'm kind of like checking the
10:09
box on some things as I do this, as like the 5th step promises align.
10:14
And so have I skimped on the cement put in
10:18
the— I mean, the mortar without sand? Have I skimped on any of that?
10:21
Right. Do I have common problem and do I have common solution,
10:25
or do I have Corey's solution and
10:31
do these people have not my problem? Right? Or do
10:35
I not have a foundation of this fellowship?
10:39
And so I think all those things, like, you know,
10:43
come into that thing, like, do I— can I check the box on this?
10:47
And it goes on to say on page 17, we have found
10:51
a way out on which we can absolutely agree and upon which we
10:55
can join in brotherly and harmonious action. You know,
10:58
a way out is, uh, it's cool we made that
11:02
our book study. Um, but you know,
11:05
they were also going to name the book A Way Out. There was just a
11:08
bunch of other books named A Way Out at the time with
11:12
a bunch of other copyrights. And so also,
11:15
like, is there another way out for you? Because when I came
11:20
into this, like, you know, position, there wasn't another
11:24
way out for me. There was nothing. And when it says we can join
11:28
in brotherly and harmonious action, man, like, to see that happen,
11:32
to see everybody just flowing and working
11:35
together and doing this thing and helping others, man, it's the most beautiful thing to
11:39
watch. Back to the text.
11:42
It says, this is the great news this book carries to
11:46
those who suffer from alcoholism. So all that
11:49
was a promise. Flip to page 18,
11:54
and I have it— it says on the top on page 18,
11:57
an illness. I have illness highlighted. Of this sort,
12:00
and we have come to believe in an illness, involves those about
12:05
us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person
12:08
has cancer, we are all sorry for them, and no one is angry or
12:12
hurt. Then I have the rest of this, the— at least this
12:16
sentence and the next 2 sentences highlighted in yellow. But not so
12:19
with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes
12:22
annihilation of all things worthwhile in life. It engulfs
12:26
all those whose lives touch the sufferer.
12:30
Now, I have the rest of this in pink because— and
12:34
I have out written beside it, untreated alcoholism.
12:38
It goes on to say, it brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment,
12:41
financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers,
12:45
warped lives of blameless children, sad wives
12:49
and parents. Anyone can increase the list.
12:53
And, you know, I had all that, you know.
12:57
I mean, it was rough for me when I came in.
13:01
But I think that's the thing too. Do I have that right now?
13:06
Do I have disgusted friends and employers? Do I have warped lives
13:10
of blameless children? Am I being— how well am I taking care
13:14
of my home, occupation and affairs.
13:18
Back to the text, it says, we hope this volume will inform.
13:23
So, and it's interesting, you know, the word that they use in the,
13:27
in the original text before they changed it, it says we— they
13:31
went to go say, we hope this volume will instruct,
13:35
but it says inform and comfort those who are or who
13:39
may be affected. There are many.
13:42
It goes on to say, highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us,
13:46
who have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss
13:50
his situation without reserve. Strangely enough, wives,
13:54
parents, and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable than do the
13:58
psychiatrist and the doctor. So in that paragraph,
14:01
I have psychiatrists, wives, parents, and intimate friends
14:06
underlined. And the reason being is back in the doctor's opinion
14:10
on page,
14:14
um, XXVI,
14:17
it says— uh-oh,
14:22
I gave you the wrong page number, I'm sorry. On XXVII,
14:27
the next page over, um, we talked
14:31
about this thing called frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices.
14:35
And so when I look over here on page 18,
14:39
it's talking about like psychiatrists. Well, psychiatrists tell you, well,
14:42
you know, just get it together, you know, take this medicine. You know,
14:46
wives are like, hey, you know, you're going to lose the kids,
14:50
you're going to lose me if you don't stop.
14:54
You know, it goes like, you know, parents, parents are like, hey, we're cutting you
14:56
off, we're not talking to you, don't come over anymore.
15:01
Hey, we're gonna do You're not even going to be able to come inside our
15:03
house. Intimate friends, you know,
15:07
those terminated, you know, a long time ago. But, you know, today I
15:10
do have intimate friends. And but, like, you know, that's the thing. These people
15:14
closest to me were telling me— I remember a good
15:18
friend of mine, you know, he said, you need to go to treatment. And I
15:20
said, I need to block your number, right? Like, I don't want to hear that.
15:24
What are you talking about? You have a problem.
15:28
So I, you know, I see this. So where this is, I have frothy
15:32
emotional appeal beside this paragraph right here.
15:36
And back at the doctor's opinion on XXVIII,
15:40
it says right after it says frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices,
15:44
it says next, the message which can interest and hold these alcoholic
15:49
people must have depth and weight.
15:53
So the next paragraph says,
15:56
and it's in squiggly lines, and I have it highlighted
15:59
too in yellow. It says, but the
16:03
ex-problem drinker who has found the solution, who is properly armed
16:07
with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another
16:11
alcoholic in a few hours. Until such
16:15
an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished. Depth and
16:19
weight, right? So that's the that frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices,
16:23
and the person must have depth and weight. So that's what it's saying right there.
16:26
And that's the— it's cool because, you know, then it goes on to say
16:30
that the man who is making the approach— so highlight approach
16:33
in a different color if you're really that, you know, if you're really that
16:38
into it like I am— um, making the approach has the same
16:42
difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about,
16:46
that his whole deportment, behavior— deportment is behavior— shouts
16:51
at the new prospect that he he is a man with a real answer,
16:54
that he has no attitude holier-than-thou, nothing whatever
16:59
except the sincere desire to be helpful, that there are no fees to
17:02
pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures
17:06
to be endured. These are the conditions we found most
17:10
effective. After such an approach— I highlight
17:15
that right there. I would have highlighted— I have a lot of this highlighted Um,
17:19
but whatever kind of sticks out to you. But highlight approach,
17:23
definitely, on page— top of page 19. After such an approach,
17:27
many take up their beds and walk again.
17:31
And so Bill, like a lot of his, uh,
17:35
analogies and thoughts come from William James' Varieties
17:39
of Religious Experience, Sermon on the Mount, the Oxford
17:43
Group's literatures and stuff like that. But You know what I've found in
17:47
William James, that book, is they
17:51
related a lot— is there's a lot of relating to being sick,
17:56
um, and having fever. Because in that time when that book was wrote,
18:01
if you had a fever, you could die.
18:05
So like, you know, you get put in the hospital bed and like, if you
18:09
had a fever, who knows, right? You know, it's like flipping a coin if you're
18:12
gonna die or not. And that's the beautiful thing about this, is there's people
18:16
getting up and walking again from this thing that
18:20
were men that's beat down to the ground, and it's great.
18:24
Goes on to say on page— top of page 19, none of us make a
18:27
sole vocation of this work. We think its
18:31
effectiveness would be— nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased
18:35
if we did. And I have this highlighted in yellow.
18:39
We feel the elimination of our drinking is but a beginning.
18:43
The next sentence is highlighted too.
18:46
A much more important demonstration of our principles lies
18:50
before us in our respective homes,
18:53
occupations, and affairs. And that's important.
18:57
So a much more important demonstration of our principles
19:01
is not in an AA meeting, is not over here. Look at
19:06
it. Look, hey, look at me. Look at me go do this talk.
19:10
It's in my home, it's in my occupation, and then
19:14
y'all are my affairs, and y'all are last. And,
19:18
you know, because I need to take care of the family, I got to take
19:21
care of my job. And I think it's another crazy deal. I've, I've ran—
19:25
the amount of dudes I've ran into, you know, because the steps,
19:29
you know, are a way to freedom for me, you know, you know, to build,
19:32
have a spiritual experience. But a way to live
19:35
too, right? But like, I've ran into
19:39
so many people, they're like, man, I've got this job opportunity,
19:43
but I'm not going to be able to come to this meeting, so I didn't
19:47
take it. Well, this meeting is not—
19:54
anyways, it's go get the job and
19:58
do the work because the work's going to— God's going to watch over
20:02
you through that. This whole narrative
20:07
from the treatment centers of 90 meetings in 90 days. Well, when they wrote
20:11
this book, they had a meeting a week.
20:15
Anyways, I'm sorry to rant. It says,
20:19
and I have this underlined right here, it says, all of us,
20:23
and I have that highlighted, but I have it underlined too,
20:27
and you can highlight the rest of this sentence. It says, all of us spend
20:31
much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to
20:33
describe. What effort are they going to describe? They're going to describe
20:37
working with others in this book and how to be effective and how to
20:41
make the approach. The last couple paragraphs,
20:44
we talked about approach twice because I make the approach to an individual
20:49
and it perfectly explains that in working with others. There's no,
20:53
hey, I'm going to say the cool thing and we'll sit back in the back
20:57
and let them flock to me.
21:02
There's a, uh, there's a slot— there's a song by Three 6
21:06
Mafia. It's like, in the club posted up, that's how I got
21:10
my arms folded. Anyways, you know,
21:14
I'm not in the club posted up. I'm out there
21:18
shaking hands. I'm out there getting guys' numbers. I don't need— you know, I think
21:21
that's an important thing that I was taught from my sponsor and that I tell
21:24
other dudes. I do not get,
21:28
or I don't give my number out. I take numbers. I get their
21:32
number, 'cause they're not gonna ever call me. 'Cause how uncomfortable
21:37
is that relationship of me calling somebody I barely know?
21:41
Or me, you know, in that, you know, so it's important, right? So all,
21:44
it says all of us, not just some of us, not the people that are
21:48
at, you know, they got too much things going on in their lives. It says
21:51
all of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which
21:54
we are gonna describe. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated
21:58
they can give nearly all their time to the work. I have
22:02
this highlighted down here too. This next sentence says,
22:06
if we keep on this way we're going, there's little doubt that much good will
22:10
result, but the surface of the problem would hardly
22:14
be scratched. Those of us who
22:18
live in large cities are overcome by the reflection that close by hundreds are dropping
22:21
into oblivion every day. Many could
22:25
recover if they had the opportunity we have enjoyed. How then—
22:30
and I have this, the rest of this highlighted right here— shall
22:34
we present that which has been so freely given us?
22:37
Right? So because we're presenting it, they're presenting it to us, but we
22:41
present it to others because we're carrying this message.
22:44
Says, we have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem
22:49
as we see it. We shall bring to the task, and I have
22:52
this underlined and highlighted, our combined experience
22:57
and knowledge. Experience and knowledge.
23:03
I got to know what I'm talking about here, right? I have a working
23:07
knowledge of this big book, and that's the way I take guys through this book.
23:10
And because it says this is our basic text, and this is how
23:13
I get— this is what I do.
23:16
To have a spiritual experience, and that might be the only thing I get
23:20
to do that might save me. That's what this book says.
23:26
This goes on to say, this should suggest a useful program for anyone
23:30
concerned with a drinking problem. A useful program.
23:34
Of necessity— I have necessity highlighted because it's like
23:39
a big word of must— of necessity, there will have to be discussions
23:43
of matters medical, psychiatric, social, religious. We are aware that these matters are are
23:47
from their very nature controversial.
23:51
Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which contained no bias
23:55
for contention or argument. We shall do our utmost
23:59
to achieve this ideal. And so this
24:02
is, uh, this is an important couple sentences,
24:06
and I have them highlighted and underlined to the next—
24:10
to the end of the next paragraph on the next page on the top of
24:14
20, but It says that most of us sense
24:18
that real tolerance— real tolerance I have highlighted and
24:23
underlined because it's, it's not tolerance, it's real tolerance— of
24:28
other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect
24:32
for their opinions or attitudes. So underline
24:35
attitudes, which make us more
24:40
useful to others. It doesn't say make us better
24:44
people. It doesn't say make us cooler. It says make us
24:48
more useful to others.
24:51
And it goes on to say at the top of 20, our very lives as
24:55
ex-problem drinkers— and highlight this and underline it— depend—
24:59
depend's a big word— upon our constant— constant's
25:03
a big word— thought of others and how we may help their needs.
25:06
How do I help their needs? I make the approach and I go help them.
25:11
Goes on to say, and, you know, well, you know,
25:14
since we've already kind of gone through it, you know, on page 15 is a
25:18
good, you know, example of that, right? Faith, at the bottom of 14,
25:22
faith without works, as he said, and how faith without works was dead,
25:25
he said, and how appalling true. For the alcoholic,
25:30
for the alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge
25:34
his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others,
25:38
he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.
25:42
If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he
25:45
drank, he would surely die. So, in my constant
25:49
thought of others, my life depends upon that.
25:52
And that's why. It goes on to say on the top
25:56
of 20, you may already have asked yourself, why is it that all
26:00
of us became so very ill from drinking? Doubtless you are curious to
26:04
discover the how and why in the face of expert opinion
26:07
to the contrary. And I have this underlined and highlighted
26:11
in pink, the rest of this sentence. We have recovered
26:15
from a hopeless condition of mind and body.
26:19
If you're an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking,
26:22
what do I have to do? It is the purpose of this book.
26:25
So I have purpose highlighted because that's
26:29
important to tell me what the purpose of the book is, to answer such
26:32
questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done.
26:39
Before going into detailed discussion, it may be well to summarize some points
26:44
as we see them. And as I'm going through there,
26:47
you can highlight these or make a check, and, you know,
26:51
if you kind of align with it. If you don't align to it, that's cool
26:53
too. But, you know, you can kind of think about
26:57
it in your own way and it might change. Says,
27:01
how many times people have said this? I can take it or leave it alone.
27:05
Why can't he? Because they're not alcoholic,
27:08
right? Why don't you drink like a gentleman or quit?
27:12
Well, I did drink like a gentleman, right? Until after I— until
27:16
after I didn't know I wasn't drinking like a gentleman. That fellow
27:21
can't handle his liquor. Absolutely. I got told that for so long, and I've
27:25
made that excuse for so long. I'll drink beer. I'll just
27:28
drink tequila. I'll just drink wine. I just won't
27:32
take these pills with it anymore. Oh, you know, I'll, I'll do this.
27:36
I'll do this. You know, it was constantly that.
27:40
Why don't you try beer and wine? Lay off the hard stuff.
27:45
His willpower must be weak. He could stop if
27:48
he wanted to. She's such a sweet girl, I would think he'd stop
27:52
for her sake. The doctor told him that if he ever drank again,
27:56
it would kill him. I have kill highlighted right there because
28:00
that's a big word. But there he is all
28:04
again lit up. Now, these are commonplace
28:08
observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. Back of them
28:11
is a world of ignorance and misunderstanding. We see that these expressions
28:16
refer to people whose reactions are very different from us.
28:20
I have that highlighted and underlined, right? People whose reactions are very different
28:24
from us, non-alcoholics. And you can find those in the
28:28
rooms of AA too. You know,
28:32
they're like, hey, just go to meetings. And I really feel strongly
28:36
about this. And people come into
28:40
a hospital. Well, and the doctors, there's no doctors
28:44
there to help them. And they're like, man, like, you know,
28:47
they either go to another hospital, they're gonna die. When people
28:51
come into these rooms, they're like, man, I need this, and there's nobody to help
28:55
them. And then they leave, and then everybody that was standing
28:58
around not helping them were like, man, he didn't want it. He didn't want
29:02
it this time. He wasn't ready. What is he ready for, to die?
29:07
You know, it's important. This is important stuff.
29:11
And highlighted and underlined moderate— the word moderate
29:15
drinkers. Moderate drinkers have little trouble
29:18
in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take
29:22
it or leave it alone. Then we have a certain type of hard
29:26
drinker. Underlined hard drinker. He may have the habit badly
29:30
enough to gradually impair him physically or mentally.
29:34
It may cause him to die a few years before his time.
29:39
If a sufficient strong reason, ill health,
29:43
falling in love, change of environment, or warning
29:47
of a doctor becomes operative, this man can stop
29:51
or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and maybe
29:55
even find it need medical attention. And I think that's
29:59
important, man. I grew up with a lot of dudes that were heavy drinkers,
30:03
hard drinkers. But today they have families
30:07
and they have some respect through the community.
30:11
And they're not out here just getting tore up every day.
30:15
And they're able to have a life. And that's cool.
30:19
I'm so happy for them.
30:23
I think it's important that I don't fight alcohol.
30:26
I think alcohol is a great thing. Not for me,
30:32
um, but for other people, yes.
30:35
Goes on to say on 21, it says, but what about the real
30:39
alcoholic? I have that underlined and highlighted.
30:42
He may start off as a moderate drinker. He may or may not become a
30:46
continuous hard drinker. Now I have the rest of this highlighted and underlined,
30:50
but at some stage of his drinking career— career
30:54
is an important word right there because it wasn't just, you know, for funsies,
30:57
it was a career. He begins to lose all control of his liquor
31:01
consumption once he starts to drink. A career is a big deal, right?
31:04
It's not like every other weekend. It's not, oh, I messed
31:08
up here. It took— it was a career for me. It was a full-time job.
31:13
It goes on to say, it says, here's the fellow who has been puzzling you,
31:16
especially in his lack of control. He does absurd,
31:21
incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is the
31:25
real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
31:29
So when I look at Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, I think, you know,
31:33
was Mr. Hyde the bad one?
31:37
Because, you know, Mr. Hyde, you know, he went out and did all this crazy
31:41
stuff after he took the potion. But so isn't
31:47
Dr. Jekyll the worst one though? Because like,
31:50
that's like me, right? Like the top 10 craziest things I've
31:54
ever done in my life. You know, there's some things in there
31:58
that, you know, I hurt people. I hurt
32:01
people. I stole from people. I lied to people.
32:06
You know, I hurt people. But,
32:11
you know, so, but that's not the worst thing
32:14
I did because the worst thing I did was completely sober.
32:18
Completely coherent with the world was knowing that
32:22
I did those things while I was intoxicated or having been drunk,
32:27
and then I took a drink sober. Me and a,
32:31
uh, dude I've been reading with, we were talking about this, and I said,
32:34
hey, you know, you blame all this stuff on being drunk,
32:38
but while you were cheating on your wife, were you drunk at
32:42
work when you were texting this other woman?
32:46
And he looked at me and I said, no, you weren't.
32:50
And so that's a— it's interesting when I look at it like
32:54
that, but I'm the one that's taking the drink. I'm the one that's planning to
32:58
take the drink. And I'm powerless, absolutely, but it's
33:01
me doing it. Not me. Well,
33:04
I'm powerless to alcohol,
33:08
but it's not You know, it's not Mr. Hyde's fault.
33:13
It's Dr. Jekyll. It's me.
33:16
It says, he is seldom mildly intoxicated.
33:21
I was very seldomly mildly intoxicated, though I felt like I
33:24
was mostly mildly intoxicated, but that's not
33:28
the way other people saw me. It says, he is always more or less insanely
33:31
drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles
33:34
his normal nature. But little. He may be one
33:38
of the finest fellows in the world, yet let him take a
33:41
drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly and even
33:45
dangerously antisocial.
33:47
And I have this highlighted
33:50
right here. He has a positive genius for getting tight exactly
33:55
the wrong moment, particularly when
33:58
some important decision must be made or engagement kept.
34:02
And I think it's funny because I, uh, I'd go out
34:06
and I just thought I was a rebel to myself even too. Like, I wasn't
34:10
good at even taking orders from me. That's what I believed anyways. And I,
34:15
uh, I would,
34:18
you know, be like, man, I got to be in bed at 10 o'clock.
34:20
I got to be home. All right, I'd be— I got to be home by
34:23
10. That means I need to leave by 9 at the bar.
34:28
And it'd get to be 9:30, 10, and I'd
34:32
either send a text home or I'd just tell myself,
34:36
all right, well, we'll leave by 11. And then I'd
34:40
start negotiating in my head. I'll be like, well, I can do this, this,
34:42
and I'll get right back to sleep. I'll get right to sleep when I get
34:46
home. Then it'd get to 11, and then I'm negotiating again,
34:50
and then I'm negotiating around 12, and then 1, then 2,
34:54
then Last call comes up and I've been out all night. Now I gotta go
34:58
home. Now I gotta get— well, now I gotta stay up too, because I know
35:01
I'm not gonna wake up anyways.
35:05
But, and that's how my drinking, you know, happened. And then when I
35:09
think about the engagement caps, you know, yeah, I had to be at work.
35:12
I had to be at, you know, dad's birthday,
35:15
mother's Mother's Day, all these different things. And I
35:19
couldn't even, you know, if I was there, I wasn't even present there because I
35:22
didn't feel good. Or I was drunk
35:26
all over again. And, um, goes on to say he
35:30
is often perfectly sensible and well-balanced concerning everything except
35:34
liquor. I wish I was this guy, but I'm not like completely well-balanced
35:39
anyways. Like, I'm not as— you know, I like how they're like, you know,
35:43
he's perfect but besides alcohol, you know. Like,
35:46
it— I feel like there's a lot of pride in that because, you know,
35:50
My life was unmanageable when I came in.
35:55
When you took the bottle away, I was just as sober as I was 7
35:59
days sober as I was 14 and as 21.
36:03
I might've been growing this conscious contact with God and been
36:07
doing this stuff and figuring out how to live life amongst
36:11
those spiritual principles, but at the same time,
36:15
You know, I'm not this perfect person because when I—
36:19
yeah, that— when did I text those girls? While I was
36:22
at work sober. When did I plan to go get drunk?
36:26
While I was sober.
36:31
Is— I'll get back to the text. It says he is often perfectly sensible and
36:34
well-balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect
36:39
he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special
36:43
abilities, skills, and aptitudes and has a promising career ahead of him.
36:48
He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family.
36:51
And I had this highlighted right here, and then pulls the structure down on
36:55
his head by a senseless series of sprees.
37:00
I have underlined structure down because I think it's cool how Bill Wilson
37:04
does this. You know, he talks about the cement. You know, as we go through,
37:07
there's different kind of building things he talks about. We're talking about
37:11
pulling the structure down. Anyways, at the
37:15
bottom of 21, it says, he is a fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated
37:19
he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early the next day
37:23
morning, he searches madly for the bottle he misplaced the night before.
37:28
And I have the rest of this sentence highlighted. If he
37:31
can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to
37:35
be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down
37:39
the waste pipe. And that was it, right? I felt so, you know, that was
37:43
like, you know, I had arrived moments when I had enough of
37:47
the substances, of the drink, of the, you know, I had food
37:51
and money and I had arrived when I had all everything I needed.
37:56
It says, as matters grow worse, he begins
38:00
to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to quiet his nerves
38:04
so he can go to work. Man, I'll tell you, I love Xanax.
38:10
I used to take 2 Xanax every morning.
38:13
And so like, I think about that. I wouldn't quit
38:17
drinking till like, you know, 1, 2 o'clock in the morning.
38:21
I'd get 2 hours of sleep, still drunk from the night before,
38:24
wake up, take 2 Xanax. So I'm definitely drunk now and
38:28
I'm going to work and I feel like I'm the man. Boom, boom,
38:31
boom, boom, boom. Telling people what to do, thinking I'm doing something.
38:35
I wasn't doing nothing. But, you know, I did a lot of that.
38:39
You know, I used to think that, you know, I used to try— I mean,
38:41
I've tried to come off the drinking with the pills, and I
38:46
found my drink, you know, just like Bill's story, right? Taking pill and
38:50
drinking. Um,
38:55
says, then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all
38:58
over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some
39:02
sedative which to taper off. And this is me. Then he begins to
39:06
appear at the hospitals and sanitariums. This is
39:10
by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic,
39:14
as our behavior patterns vary, but this
39:17
description should identify him roughly.
39:21
I have this highlight, then the rest of this, or 3 sentences highlighted
39:25
right here. Says, why does he behave like this if hundreds of ex-
39:30
experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle,
39:35
with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it
39:38
he takes that one drink? Why do I take the one drink?
39:42
Why can't he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the
39:46
common sense and willpower that he still sometimes displays
39:50
with respect to other matters?
39:53
Perhaps there never will be a full understanding of these questions.
39:57
And I had this highlighted, and I think says
40:01
opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from
40:05
normal people. Normal people.
40:09
Page 30, on the second—
40:13
bottom of the second paragraph. The delusion that we are like
40:17
other people, or normal people, right,
40:20
or presently may be, has to be smashed. Has to
40:24
be smashed. Has to be is important. 2 words. We're not sure
40:28
why once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot
40:32
answer the riddle. We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from
40:36
drink, as many do for months or years, he reacts much like other
40:39
men. We are equally positive that— I
40:44
had this highlighted right here, the rest of the sentence onto the next page.
40:50
Once he takes any alcohol, whatever, into his system, something happens,
40:54
both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him
40:57
to stop. And so I remember
41:02
after being sober for some time,
41:07
I was at a wedding and I told the girl I was dating,
41:10
I said, hey, when I'm out of town,
41:13
I'll have a couple drinks. And she knew I was sober.
41:18
I guess she thought that was cool. And I mean, she did. She was like,
41:21
oh, when we were like having fun. And it was great, man. It was the
41:24
greatest thing because like, you know, having fun, camaraderie,
41:28
joyousness. And the thing about alcohol is when I do it, after a certain amount
41:31
of time, it does what I need it to do. It works.
41:35
It works perfectly. And you know, if anybody,
41:38
you know, I, I know what happens when I take a drink.
41:42
I'm powerless. This is what happened to me.
41:47
After I took the first drink during the middle of that night, I had this
41:50
vision of my life, and that vision of my life didn't look anything like
41:54
anything being sober. It looked, how am I going to insert
41:58
alcohol back into my life in every single corner?
42:01
There wasn't a, oh, I need to go back to the meetings and do the
42:05
12. There was none of that. That was what's going to happen.
42:10
And so when it says both in the body, like, so when
42:14
I take a drink, something happens both in my body and mentally.
42:17
Not just I'm going to take another drink right there and then I'll be able
42:21
to shut it down tonight, but mentally also,
42:25
because now I've justified it, now I've made it okay, now I've done it.
42:28
And you know, this is the one thing that I do— I'm throwing out a
42:31
lot of opinions here, but that's okay if y'all need to, uh make
42:36
a, uh, we have an email thing attached to this. We complain on there.
42:40
But, you know, up north, when I lived up
42:44
closer to Ohio for a little while, I asked people why they
42:48
didn't celebrate birthdays as much as down here. And they, you know, so there's a
42:51
lot of ego connected to these coins. Because I'll tell you, after being in this
42:54
thing for a long time, I was, you know, I would go
42:58
back into the meetings and I would be like, well, what's one month? Is this
43:02
amount of time, and then I'd be drunk again. So I think
43:06
there's a, you know, for me, man, I'm powerless with this stuff when, you know,
43:09
and I have no idea what happens, but I know something changes in me drastically.
43:15
It says, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience
43:20
of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.
43:23
And right here, you know, at the top of the page,
43:27
I have a little indication where it says physical, and there's an arrow up,
43:30
and mental, there's an arrow down. Because this is where it separates.
43:34
We're done talking about the physical fact of this, and we're going to start
43:38
talking about the middle, mental, next week.
43:41
But yeah, I think this,
43:47
common problem, common solution.
43:51
So this is what— and if you're listening to this, it might be
43:55
boring, it might not, I don't know.
43:58
Um, but I'm really grateful for the opportunity to do this, and,
44:01
um, we'll talk again next week. Have a good week, guys.