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What's 'Wrong' with narcissists? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about what is actually going on
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  with narcissists. What is wrong with narcissists,
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  for lack of a better word? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code Bomb back.
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  Yes? What is actually going on inside
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  the mind of a narcissist? What is wrong with narcissist
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  this y'all? What's wrong with y'all?
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  I see this so much in my conversation.
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  Just tell me what's wrong with y'all.
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  Damn. Just tell me Lee, what is wrong
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  with my wife? What's wrong with my husband?
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  What's wrong with them? Let me start this video off by
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  saying y'all. This is not meant to speak
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  derogatory in in a derogatory manner about people would have
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  hurts an anti disorder. That's not what this is meant
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  for. It's meant to just bring
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  awareness to raise awareness. Can I it's going to be funny,
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  yes. It's going to be some funny
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  parts or whatever. Just stay tuned.
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  Just say say say your judgement for later.
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  But yeah, what is going on with Narcissus y'all?
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  Yes, I see a lot of people say this as well.
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  Narcissus are a lot of times victims of abuse themselves.
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  It's that's just a factual thing.
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  A lot of not every single time, not all narcissists are created
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  through trauma and what not an abuse, but there are a lot of
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  narcissists. A big, a big chunk of
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  narcissists are created from abuse, from traumatic
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  experiences and things like that.
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  So from that trauma from that abuse stems creating this
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  external shell around us, right? So we got hurt in our youth when
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  we got hurt when we were children, we created this
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  external shell around us to protect us.
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  So this wouldn't happen again. Like whatever, like I said, if
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  we got hurt as a kid. So a lot of times we've remained
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  in that childish emotional state.
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  Whatever emotional, whatever age we got hurt at is what age we
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  stay at emotionally unless we do some emotional, unless we do
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  some emotional growing up, unless we have some emotional
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  birthdays, we get stuck between the ages of 7897 and like ten,
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  11-12 years old. So that's why sometimes when you
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  dealing with a narcissist, it might feel like you're dealing
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  with a toddler. You like damn, while I'm talking
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  to this grown ass person, this 3738 year old person, but they
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  are responding to me, responding to me like they're emotionally 7
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  years old because they're responding to you at the age of
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  their pain, at the age of their trauma.
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  This is what happens a lot of times in these toxic
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  relationship dynamics. They're responding to you at the
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  age that they got hurt. So what's going on?
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  What's wrong with narcissists? They are, they hurt, they hurt,
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  they are hurt, they're hurting, they're super guarded, they're
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  hurting. And because they're hurting,
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  they don't, they don't know how to heal.
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  They're hurting other people. And no, I'm not trying to excuse
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  narcissist behavior. That's not what I'm trying to
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  do. I know a lot of people get when
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  I when I say this type of stuff, they automatically think I'm
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  assuming that I'm trying to make excuses for narcissist behavior.
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  It's like, Lee, how dare you. I'm like, look, that's not what
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  I'm doing. I'm right here trying to bring
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  awareness and let you know that this person is a damaged person.
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  This person is a hurt person. And because they're damaged and
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  because they're hurt, they probably won't give you the love
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  that you you need and deserve, the love that you are requiring
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  to be happy. You probably won't get it from
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  this person because they don't know how to give it to you.
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  Because they're guarded and messed up and and something's
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  happened to them. They messed them up.
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  Well, Lee, that just makes me feel sorry for, makes me want to
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  try to nurture them. You can't nurture a broken
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  person. Yeah, you can't nurture that
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  right there. The first with the narcissists.
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  They have to want to nurture their own inner child.
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  How the hell can you nurture someone else's inner child?
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  You cannot. You cannot provide external
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  validation for some internal damage.
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  That's the thing that so many people get caught up on right
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  there. You try to you try to provide
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  some ex like external validation, external sources,
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  external happiness for something that is an internal problem,
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  internal trauma. You can't do that.
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  And I know people like that. Y'all, when I say that it hurts
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  people's feelings, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings.
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  I'm not trying to make you give up hope on this person.
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  I'm just laying down the factual information that come this being
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  that I've talked to so many people over the last few years
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  and so many therapists and you see this is like this is you can
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  Google this. You can't nurture a broken inner
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  child. They have to want to do that
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  themselves. The reason I'm so far along on
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  my journey is because I'm nurturing my own broken, hurt,
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  damaged inner child. That's what I've been doing.
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  That's literally what I've been doing.
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  I'm nurturing my own hurt, broken inner child.
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  That's just me. That's what I've been doing.
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  Like, I go to therapy, I do inner child work, I meditate, I
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  do a lot of stuff while I'm nurturing my own damaged inner
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  child. Because what's going on, what's
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  wrong with us is we're broken children in adult bodies.
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  A lot of us are broken children in adult bodies that we look
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  like adults, we sound like adults, we talk like adults, but
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  we respond as children. Y'all hear that phrase?
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  When I was a child, I thought when I was a child, I thought
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  like a child. I did childish things.
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  But when I became a man, I put away this childish stains
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  because now I'm a man. Narcissists don't do that.
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  They put it they they take the childish stains with them into
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  adulthood and they keep doing childish responses.
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  They keep responding in a childish manner.
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  Look at it. Y'all pull peel back the peel
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  back the layers on the on the silent treatment.
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  If you look at the silent treatment from a different
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  perspective, the silent treatment is pretty much some a
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  kid in the corner doing this La La La La, I can't hear you, I
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  can't hear you, I can't hear you.
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  It's literally the equivalent, the adult equivalent of them
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  putting their fingers in their ears, making noise so they can't
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  hear you. They act like you don't exist.
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  They pretend to not see you with their eyes closed and their ears
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  plugged up and they act like they can't hear you.
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  That's the silent treatment. You see it, y'all?
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  Narcissistic rage is the adult version of a temper tantrum.
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  It is. Think about it, y'all.
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  I'm not saying it's like narcissistic.
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  Great. Imagine your five or six year
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  old kid, right when you take a toy for them, how they just and
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  they start throwing something. They might.
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  Your kid might hit you. You mean your little 3-4 year
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  old might hit you? My little, my little girl, three
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  years old, she'll pop your children like I'll take
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  something from my look, you don't need that baby.
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  It's like, yeah, smack me across the leg.
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  Imagine that anger. Imagine that times 100
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  uncontrollable right now. It becomes uncontrollable in an
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  adult body with 100 times the strength and no control.
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  They throw stuff, they hit people, they yell, they scream.
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  It's the adult version of a temper tantrum.
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  Look at it, y'all. These are child.
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  We are childish people. And I say we because yeah, I
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  still, I still respond that way sometimes.
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  I'm working on it. I'm a work in progress.
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  Some people are not working at all.
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  You see what I'm saying? I'm at work, in progress.
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  Some people are just at work. There's no progress.
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  They're just at work, no progress.
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  Accept me for who I am, you know, and, and like, a lot of
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  times they'll use what happened to them in their childhood as a,
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  as an excuse to treat you a certain type of way.
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  They expect you to tolerate horrible behaviors because they
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  shared their trauma with you. Hey, I'm a trauma survivor.
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  You need to feel sorry for me and let me do this craziness to
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  you. You know, you need to, you know,
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  in that space right there. That's what I'm just saying.
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  Like you're a trauma survivor. This is that this is the mindset
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  of a lot of narcissistic people. They want to webinar the trauma
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  against you. What's going what's wrong with
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  narcissists? They are.
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  They like being some of them. Yeah.
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  Some narcissists are absolutely aware that something has
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  happened to them in childhood and they are absolutely aware of
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  what they are doing to you. I, I will say that most of them
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  don't know that it's an actual personality disorder, but some
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  of them are. I think when people get confused
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  online, you see self, you see self aware narcissist, right?
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  You see the term self aware narcissist and a lot of people
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  and a lot of people are you. You automatically think that
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  self aware means better. You know what I mean?
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  You think self aware narcissist means better person right?
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  They don't. Some of them are aware and love
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  being horrible people. They are aware and like being
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  terrible. They like being horrible because
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  it makes them different. Some self aware narcissists are
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  absolutely still horrible people.
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  Some of them know what's wrong with them and don't care.
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  They blame you. Some narcissists.
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  What's wrong with narcissists? They like being victims.
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  Some of them like victims. Like, like they like having
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  victims, but they also like being victims as well.
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  Oh, the whole world's against me.
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  I got this happened to me in childhood.
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  I can't control what happened in my life is it's always somebody
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  else's fault. It's always somebody else's
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  fault. It's never my fault.
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  But me, like I say, because I mean, work in progress, I know
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  it's my fault. Yeah.
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  I cannot control what happened to me as a child.
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  This sucks, right? It sucks.
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  I'm right. I'm not trying to minimize
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  anybody's childhood trauma because my trauma, somebody, I,
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  I know there is 1000 people's traumas that are out there that
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  are worse than my, what I went through, right?
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  I'm actually writing my, my writing mind and my, my
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  forthcoming novel, my book, my book is coming soon, y'all.
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  I'm actually in the process of writing that right now and my
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  course is coming on. But this is the, this is the
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  mindset, y'all. This is the dynamic.
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  I tell so many people this right here.
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  I share this with so many people because I'm trying to help y'all
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  grow and heal and get past these toxic, horrible ass situations
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  because what's wrong with them? Maybe I can fix them.
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  Knowing what's wrong with them won't allow you to fix them.
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  You don't have the tools, y'all. A lot of them are damaged,
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  damaged kids covered up and they, they grow, like I said,
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  they just the inside is still damaged, but they just grow a
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  shell around it. They grow a protective shell.
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  They grow a protective shell around the damage in the child
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  and they continue to their bodies continue to continue to
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  physically grow, right. But like I said, y'all, some
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  NARS. Not every single narcissist is
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  created through trauma. There are some narcissists
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  they're just created because they get spoiled rotten.
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  There are some spoiled rotten brat ass narcissistic people.
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  Y'all just never hear the word no, never had trauma, just
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  haven't heard the word no, no boundaries.
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  Had some horrible ass parents that just were not present and
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  they became little brats and they grew up to be narcissists.
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  That's that could happen as well.
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  Y'all there? Y'all you, you, you probably
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  know these people. Like, damn, you had a good
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  childhood. Your parents were, you know,
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  you, you didn't. Of course, neglect is abuse.
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  They might have gotten neglected.
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  It's it's abuse as well. And everybody perceives abuse
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  differently. But you have these bratty ass,
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  horrible ass, just spoiled brat narcissists.
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  Sometimes those can be the worst because they are adults.
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  They they still spoiled children, but they're in adult
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  bodies. What's wrong with narcissists?
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  Some of them have been spoiled, right?
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  And never heard the word no. So when they when people in
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  their adulthood tell them no, they lose their damn minds.
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  Yeah, not every single narcissist is created through
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  trauma. Some of them are just created
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  because they had horrible ass parenthood just were not there
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  for them. They just let them run around,
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  let them run ragged, let them run free.
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  That happens too. So I don't let this video run on
• 11:44
  a little longer than normal. Y'all make sure you check out my
• 11:46
  courses in my support group. I'm adding in a couple more
• 11:48
  courses here. Hope y'all having a great
• 11:51
  summer. courses.mentalillness.net.
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  Thank y'all so much. Mental illness is out.
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
• 12:03
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel, help us reach
• 12:05
  more people and click on the screen to watch another video or
• 12:08
  to browse through another playlist.
• 12:09
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:12
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
• 12:14
  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
• 12:16
  I will see you in the next video.
• 12:17
  Peace.