Latest / The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast / R.I.P.P.E.D. for a Reason-Every Scar Has a Story. Every Story Has a Purpose.

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R.I.P.P.E.D. for a Reason-Every Scar Has a Story. Every Story Has a Purpose. · The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast

0:40
SPEAKER_00: And this is where the underdogs, the misfits, and the overlooked leaders come to turn pain into power so that they can build a life by design and leave a legacy behind.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Now, if this is your first time tapping in, welcome in, family.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: What's going on with you?
0:53
SPEAKER_00: And if you're back again, I appreciate you falling back through.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: You already know I appreciate your presence.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Now let's do this quick vibe check.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're easily offended, sensitive, entitled, still waiting on somebody to come to save you or allergic to accountability.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Get your ass up out of here.
1:12
SPEAKER_00: Because this is not your safe space.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: Go ahead and tap out now.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: But if you're ready to think different so that you can move different and level up, stay locked in.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Because by the end of this episode, you're walking away with something that you can execute immediately.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Now let's get to work.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: Black sheet.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever looked back at your life and wondered why did I have to go through all of that?
1:40
SPEAKER_00: The betrayal, the rejection, the loneliness, broken relationships.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you wonder why the job fell apart, even though you put everything into it, the family drama.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you wonder why the seasons, it felt like everybody else was moving forward except you.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Well, I've asked those same exact questions.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: And if I'm honest, for a long time, I just didn't understand it.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Because all I saw was pain out of those circumstances.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't understand what was the purpose or what was the point of all of this.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: But here's what I've learned.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the creator isn't trying to break you.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes he is building someone your current self isn't strong enough to become.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I call this episode ripped for a reason.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: Every person listening to this podcast has been hurt.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: That's the part about being human that nobody escapes.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Nobody escapes pain.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: The rich people, the poor people, not the leaders, not the entrepreneurs, the one percenters, the pastors, athletes, celebrities.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: Nobody.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: Pain is universal.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: But here's what separates extraordinary people from everybody else.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: It's all about what you decide to do with that pain.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: Because in life, pain is inevitable, but suffering.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: Suffering is optional.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: See, some people build prisons out of their pain.
3:39
SPEAKER_00: They don't let anybody in.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: It's like steel bars.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: You're not getting in.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: They're made of titanium.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
3:46
SPEAKER_00: Other people build platforms.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Some people have excuses.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
3:52
SPEAKER_00: Their pain, the level of pain, and the hand that life has given them.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Hey, listen, I'm not judging.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
3:59
SPEAKER_00: There's someone else that took everything that happened to you and some, and guess what?
4:04
SPEAKER_00: They decided to build empires from it.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: The event, the circumstance, it may have happened to both people.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: But the response, the response is what creates completely two different futures.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: So, what does it mean to be ripped?
4:25
SPEAKER_00: So when I say that you were ripped for a reason, I'm saying that your life, the complete journey up until this point, and will continue on.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Let's break it down, okay?
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of black sheep, I'm not diminishing or decreasing anybody's situation or journey because a lot of us, I'm talking about, I don't care where you are on the globe, if you've ever identified with being a black sheep or the misfits or the underdog of your family, you have saw more pain than most people can even realize.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: And the fact that you're listening to this episode is proof positive that you got something more to give, there's something huge out there for you, and this is why I decided to take my pain and turn it into a platform.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: But let's break this down because I want you to understand when we talk about being ripped for a reason.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay, ripped for a reason.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: Let's break it down.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: The R in ripped stands for refine.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: See, fire doesn't only destroy, right?
5:31
SPEAKER_00: When we think about fire, sometimes we think about chaos and mass destruction, but fire also refines, right?
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Because gold becomes more valuable after it goes through intense heat, steel becomes stronger after the pressure.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: Diamonds are only made under pressure, and so do people.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: See, every difficult season was removing something that you could not take into your future.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Some of us lost relationships, some of us lost jobs, we lost confidence, some of us we lost everything.
6:09
SPEAKER_00: But maybe, just maybe, what was removed made room for something greater.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: The I.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: I stands for improve.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: See, every experience either leaves you bitter or better.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: That's one of my principles, that's one of my mantras that I look at every time.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: Is this making me bitter or is it going to make me better?
6:30
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times when I ask that question, I have to put it, I have to ask it to myself, not towards a situation.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: Why?
6:36
SPEAKER_00: Because it's up to me the way I perceive it, the thing that has happened.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: And listen, black sheep, I'ma always give it to you all because sometimes we get these people, and you know, they'll say these different things about you know, it'll be feel-good, uh, mantra and affirmations.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: And listen, a lot of things in life that it is easier to say than done, but that does not mean it cannot be done and has not been done.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: It's really how bad you want your ascension, okay?
7:05
SPEAKER_00: Because when you look at all of these different experiences, ask yourself, did you allow it to make you bitter or better?
7:12
SPEAKER_00: Because that's a choice.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: See, some people graduate from the pain, others repeat it, they never let it go.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: They stay on that ride of pain and they just keep ride, they stay on that cycle.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: But see, black sheep, we don't just survive experiences, we learn from them, we improve because of them, we become wiser.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: See, the pain already cost you enough.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Don't let it leave without paying you back in wisdom.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: You go through something and you took it to the chin, you took it to the head.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: But don't let that experience slip through your hands and turn your life upside down without you extracting the wisdom from that moment, whether it be regarding people, places, or things in that scenario.
8:01
SPEAKER_00: P stands for prepared.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: Looking back, there were things that I thought that was happening to me, but now I realize it was happening for me.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: Starting to manage people at 18 years old and dealing with this rejection and working in difficult environments, being underestimated and overlooked, at the time it made no sense.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: It was so aggravating and frustrating.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: But now I use those lessons almost every week.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Preparation rarely feels like preparation, most of the time, preparation seems like in it feels like inconvenience.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: Think about the Olympians.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: When we talk about preparation, I always think about the Olympians because Olympians will train almost at the minimum of a decade for a performance that will only last one to five minutes, one to five minutes, and you prepared for a whole decade.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: That tells you how important preparation is.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: I was listening to a speaker and he was even talking about food.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: The best food that you've ever tasted, it was preparation behind it.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: It was not something you threw in the microwave or even the air fryer, it was preparation behind it.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: The next P in rip stands for position.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: Every closed door position you for another one.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: Think about the opportunities that you would have never discovered if the first plan had worked out.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Think about the people you never have met.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: I know some of you like, I wish I never would have met them.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: But check this out.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: Trust me, a lot of the people that you encounter, especially the sucky ones, when I tell you, if you think about the wisdom that you've learned, I could tell you so many things about the people that I have came across that I remember.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: Like I was literally just thinking about today, about when I was managing in a supply chain role, and I literally today was thanking God because I said to myself, I'm not at the highest level of my success, but I'm so glad I'm not back there with them anymore, right?
10:03
SPEAKER_00: Because I was in this hot factory, and you know something?
10:06
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't even tripping about it being hot.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: I used to wear my sweat belt, but guess what?
10:10
SPEAKER_00: I was working with miserable management, and they treated people as if they had no other options.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: And I literally today I have so much on my plate, and that's going on.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: But I said, I am so grateful that I'm not there anymore.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Matter of fact, it was about 145, and I was on a night shift at that time, and you know, everybody likes different shifts, but I'm absolutely a first shift person that wants to go in and get it out of the way.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: I used to didn't mind, you know, I used to didn't care, whatever.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: But you know, now I know for sure what's best for me.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: So this is not specifically about the shifts, but it's about what my needs are.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: And when I was thinking about it, I said, just think several years back, you were on your way to work.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: You would you would have been on your way to work right now on this beautiful summer day.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: And not only that, because you can work somewhere at a certain time, and if you're in a certain area, you can still do different things depending on your family and your lifestyle.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: But the main thing is, I was working with miserable people.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: And I'm saying that to say, think about some of these places you've worked and people you've encountered.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: Man, I'm telling you, boy, a lot of the different things and experiences and wisdom that we got, the skills, we would have never developed them.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: The courage, you would have never had it built had it been not for the rejection and the craziness.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: Why?
11:27
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes rejection is divine redirection, and it's divine redirection because had those things never occurred, you would have never moved, you would have stayed right there.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: And positioning often looks like disappointment.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: It does.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, even sometimes, let's say, for instance, if you have an opportunity, a job or a career role, and then you have to take a lateral move because of something that happened within your family environment, right?
11:52
SPEAKER_00: It could look like a disappointment, but that's until you look at the complete picture.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: See, a lot of times we're only looking at that chapter.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: But black sheep, I want to encourage you to make sure if you're going through different disappointments, because we face them all the time.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: I was coaching someone today and I told them, I said, Listen, you got a lot of great things going for you.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: But what you must understand is life is a roller coaster ride, specifically when it comes down to talking about emotions.
12:19
SPEAKER_00: Life is a roller coaster ride.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: And I heard one lady say, you can't control what happens, but you can control how you respond to it.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: But on top of that, black sheep, this is why I always encourage you, regardless of what work you're doing today, even if it's just for pay, to keep the lights on, to keep things rolling, I always will always always always encourage you to discover your destiny, to understand and know for a fact that if you identify with being a black sheep or the underdog, specifically of your family or your community, because this is not this is not a title or a badge, this is not something that people would even claim.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: Me, myself included, I would never just haul off and say, Oh, I'm a black sheep.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Like that's just a it's just like when you hear people talking about I'm the chosen one.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: Real chosen people, which often derise from being black sheep in the underdogs, they don't ever claim to be chosen.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Now, every now and then you might be feeling yourself and have your ego pumped up, and so you might say, Yeah, I'm definitely chosen, I'm a black sheep too.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: But for the most part, when you understand the weight, when you understand the sacrifice that is required, you're not claiming that, right?
13:26
SPEAKER_00: But as a black sheep, I want you to understand, discover your destiny that way.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: When a lot of different things is going on in your life, specifically disappointment, you can look at the whole picture and say, you know what?
13:39
SPEAKER_00: This is positioning me to continue on and do the work that I was born to do.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: It's just like playing a game.
13:46
SPEAKER_00: If you've ever played chess, checkers, even oh no, spades, even sometimes.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: If you've ever played cards, sometimes the play that you make, it might look like a loss to somebody else, but you got to look at that whole picture because what looks like a loss to somebody else, they don't even know, is setting you up to win in the end.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: The E stands for empowered.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: See, the strongest people I know aren't the ones who avoided pain.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: This is what's so weird to me about this time, um, this specific time and point in history right now.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: People avoid pain all the time.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that I'm just out here running towards pain, like, oh, I need it, I need it.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: No.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: But what I'm saying is, people now they just feel like they don't want to suffer at all about nothing.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: If you say, hey, we gotta sit outside or we gotta stand in line to go to a concert for an hour, they don't want to do it.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, I remember we were getting back on the plane from a trip I took there in the and they were we were waiting on the bags to come out, right?
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Because at the carousel, whichever flights come in first, it's like first come, first serve.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: And this lady was just flipping out about waiting for the luggage, and that's just something light.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: Because if you can't suffer or be patient or be uncomfortable or do things that sometimes that you don't want to do, I want to tell you something.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: If you find out that this is someone you're dealing with, you're in trouble.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: Because as a black sheep, we've already gone through a lot of pain, so we know how to go through the pain, and this really empowers you because when you go through a lot of things, specifically as a black sheep, we learn how to carry it differently.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: How do I know this is true?
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Because first and foremost, most of black sheep don't look like what you've been through, and you've been through hell if you've been through anything like me, and you don't look like what you've been through.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong, guys.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: Survival in general is going to have its collateral damage on you and your life, like we talked about in the beginning, you're gonna lose some things, relationships, right?
15:41
SPEAKER_00: Opportunities.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: But what I can tell you is it's position you for something better, but when you carry it differently because you're in your purpose and you know there's something bigger to this, it empowers you because once you've survived something, fear loses this dark grip on you.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: See, once you know you can come through something, this is why it's good to go through things, even with your friendships.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: I was talking about um in a lecture about friendships and teams, and it's unfortunate, but sometimes you don't really find out who you're really dealing with on a team level, a relationship level, or friendship level until you guys get into it, until you have a disagreement, and then all of a sudden you realize this person that you hold at a high regard and talking about their strong, they crumbled under pressure.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: As soon as you guys had a uh disagreement, they blew up, they blew up, right?
16:36
SPEAKER_00: And so this is what you have to consider, and so but when you went through something, you like, you know what?
16:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna even worry about it.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: You stop asking, what if I fail?
16:45
SPEAKER_00: What if this don't work out because you've already survived failure?
16:48
SPEAKER_00: You stop asking, what if they reject me?
16:50
SPEAKER_00: What if they don't like me no more?
16:51
SPEAKER_00: You don't even care, you don't even care anymore.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: You're like, you know what?
16:54
SPEAKER_00: If it's rejection, it's my protection, if it's my rejection, I don't need them around.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: You stop asking, what if I lose everything?
17:00
SPEAKER_00: Because you've learned that you can rebuild from anything.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: See, pain didn't just leave you with scars, it left you with strength as well.
17:08
SPEAKER_00: And the D is deployed.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: Here's where everything comes together.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Your pain was never meant to stop you, it was meant to serve you.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: Your story becomes somebody else's roadmap.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: This is why I always say black sheep, every black sheep that's gone through some crazy stuff, you should make it a life, you you should make it a life goal, at least one of them, to write a book.
17:32
SPEAKER_00: I feel so passionate about it because black sheep, your survival becomes somebody else's roadmap.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: If you were an orphan, your story will become somebody else's roadmap.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: If you grew up or came out of a horrible environment, like a gang-ridden, a gang, um a gang-infested environment, and you still went off to college, your story becomes someone else's roadmap.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: If you had to raise yourself and you was in a single power, single parent household, your story will become somebody else's roadmap, your survival becomes somebody else's hope, your breakthrough.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: You might be thinking, like, I don't even, I haven't even done anything.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Listen to me.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: Let's say, for instance, if you come from a horrible side of town and uh you ended up, you you went to college, you went to night school and got a GED, and now you have a wonderful, flourishing career.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Trust me, the fact that you made it now.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: Here's the caveat too, black sheep.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of people they count it as out, right?
18:40
SPEAKER_00: And a people do not like to be wrong, so they're never a lot of times, they're never going to give you your props on what you did.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna give you your props today because I know what's going on.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: You got people that's from your neighborhood, you might they might be following you on social media right now, they will never give you your props, right?
18:57
SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna tell you right now, there's a good chance they're watching you, and every time you make a move, you become somebody else's belief, you become their hope because they're like, Man, I know that person, and if they did it, I know I could do it, and that's what deployment is.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: See, the creator, regardless of what you believe in, the creator does not waste experiences, he reuses them, he recycles them into purpose, and that's what black sheep do.
19:23
SPEAKER_00: We don't waste our wounds, we weaponize our wisdom.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: This is why I talk to you guys every time about that book.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: That is how you that's one step to weaponizing your wisdom.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: Then, how about you might start saying, you know what?
19:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go ahead and make a podcast about it, I'm gonna make a blog about it.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: That's how you weaponize your pain.
19:40
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to keep your pain locked up inside.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: Trust me, it's not wasted.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: It is not wasted at all.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: What I want you to understand is it's time for you to weaponize it.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: See, history is full of people who were ripped.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: Think about Harriet Tubman, her suffering became freedom for others.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, y'all know Harriet Tubman is my hero, but just think about that.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: Harriet Tubman slid before the Syria, the Civil War.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: Trust and believe all the things she went through.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Remember, her master, he hit her in the head.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: They had a disagreement or something, and he hit her real hard.
20:18
SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
20:19
SPEAKER_00: That's when she started having visions about becoming free.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: And before you know it, she said, you know what?
20:25
SPEAKER_00: This is my purpose.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna stay in this same situation, I'm not waiting.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: And she got up out of there, and we are still talking about her today.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: America just had its 250th birthday, and we are still talking about Harriet Tupman.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: Think about Nelson Mandela, 27 years in prison.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: I'll never forget that.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: I think he got released in 1991.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: But check this out he emerged without letting bitterness define him.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: He got cool and became the president.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: He didn't get cool, excuse me.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: He got out and forgave the folks that did him dirty and became the president of South Africa.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, do y'all understand how powerful this is?
21:03
SPEAKER_00: This is why in the episode we talked about F them people.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: F them people is all about forgiveness.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: See, when you can forgive folks, to be honest with you, I told you, you do it on a selfish level.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Why?
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Because it's for you first.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: But number two, a lot of people know the dirt they did to you and they just can't believe it.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: You blowing a mind how you just moved on, and you're not, and a lot of things it do hurt us, but we're not holding it hostage in our hearts.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: We are learning how to weaponize our pain.
21:31
SPEAKER_00: Think about Tyler Perry or anybody that's changed the world.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: None of them skip adversity.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: Tyler Perry was in his 30s, sleeping in his car.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: Right?
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Where do we like his films?
21:41
SPEAKER_00: I hear a lot of people talking about his films, and oh, he only depicts women this way, but guess what?
21:46
SPEAKER_00: He made a way, and now he can give back.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: He paved his way doing what he felt his purpose was to do.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: And see, people will always have some type of commentary when they didn't go through none of the adversary.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: That you went through to go what you to get what you have.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: This is why, black sheep.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: I want you to make a promise to yourself as you continue to make an oath and take an oath to yourself that you will continue to level up.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: Don't ever, I don't care what year it is.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: As a black sheep, I don't care what year it is.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: Do not allow people, okay?
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Do not allow people, okay?
22:32
SPEAKER_00: Do not allow them to make you feel bad because of your blessings.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm serious, ever you paid a heavy price.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: See, nobody skips adversity, they transformed it.
22:47
SPEAKER_00: That's the difference.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: They didn't let their pain become their identity, they let it become their preparation.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so see, as a black sheep, you you're not here to waste any wounds.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about weaponizing your wounds.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: See, one of the greatest strategy tragedies in life, it's not pain, it's wasted pain.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: I remember I would uh be out with people, and um, like let's say, for instance, in my teenage years and we were outside and somebody would stay out past their curfew and they knew they were gonna get in trouble.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Guess what they would say?
23:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, if I'm gonna get in trouble, I'm gonna make it worth my while.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: If I'm gonna get if I'm gonna go on punishment, if I'm gonna get a few licks, I'm gonna learn something.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: If I'm a struggle, I'm gonna grow from this struggle.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: You like, you know, if I'm going through all of this stuff right now, if I'm gonna survive, let me go ahead and think about thriving.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: Right?
23:42
SPEAKER_00: If I'm gonna survive, maybe I can even bring somebody else with me.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
23:46
SPEAKER_00: It's not necessarily physically bringing somebody else with you.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: What I want you to understand is one day somebody is going to need your story.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: They don't need it to be perfect because life isn't perfect, and if you tried to paint it like it's perfect, that wouldn't be real.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: They want to hear about it because it's coming from somebody that actually been there and done that.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: That's why I can continue to make these episodes and hop on here and support black sheep.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: We don't have a huge audience right now, but guess what?
24:13
SPEAKER_00: I paid the price, I was able to level up my life and support people and their businesses, employ people, help people graduate to the next level of their career.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: And all because I knew, I said, you know what, as a black sheep, I know I'm not the only one.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: There's no way, right?
24:32
SPEAKER_00: And the same thing applies to you in your life.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: Somebody is going to need your story.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: They don't need perfection, they need it to be real, and that's what you got to offer.
24:41
SPEAKER_00: See, there's someone praying for an answer today, and the answer may not come from a textbook, it might come from somebody like you, it may come from someone who has lived through the exact thing that they're facing right now.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: And here's the here's the key.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, black sheep, that's could be the possibility of why we went through what we went through.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: Not because the creator wanted to punish you, but because the creator trusted you enough to carry the lesson.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: See, he knew that you wouldn't become bitter, you will become better.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: People ask me all the time, how do I find my purpose?
25:18
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm always talking about it.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: And I always tell people eight times out of ten, I truly believe that sometimes your purpose is hidden inside of your pain.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: The thing that broke your heart might be the thing that heals someone else's.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: The betrayal might teach or may teach someone else's discernment, the business failure may teach someone else's resilience, a divorce may teach someone healing, the addiction may become someone else's recovery story, the job loss may lead someone else to finally bet on themselves.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: See, your story isn't just about you anymore.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: Because once you've survived, it becomes a responsibility, a responsibility to leave the roadmap because there's people watching you, whether it be your household, your children, your neighbors, trust me, there's people watching, and I'm not telling you to put your business online step by step of what you did, but the fact that they know where you came from, and you still rolling, you still thriving, you still surviving, and you don't look like what you've been through.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh man, the fact that you just showing up, the fact that you just showing up is somebody else's hope to get up.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: See, black sheep, we don't stay broken.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: This is what separates us from just the regular schmegglers out there.
26:37
SPEAKER_00: We don't deny what happened, we don't pretend that it didn't hurt and just really have us crazy, like looking horrible out here.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: We we're not we're not flexing and pretending about that.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: We don't fake healing and wear masks.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: We acknowledge the pain, but we refuse to build a home there.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna sit there and lay in the pain.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: We might visit it every now and then.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever had something happen to you that was so traumatic that every blue moon that pain will come up like it was yesterday?
27:02
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, by the time we think about it, it's all about the lesson.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: It's the lesson.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: See, we might revisit that pain, but we'll think about that lesson.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: So we don't live there because you cannot drive forward while staring in the rearview mirror.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: Never forget that black sheet.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: If you gotta revisit your pain every now and then, or whatever the case may be, everybody's in different places of mind.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you revisit it and you get that lesson up out, you know, you get the lesson out of it, but don't stay there because you can't drive forward while staring in the rearview mirror.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: Your past deserves a place in your story, but it is not in your future, it's not in the driver's seat of your life.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: See, the greatest comebacks begins with one decision.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: The turning point in almost every comeback story is not about money, it isn't luck, it's not even about opportunity, it's the decision.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: The decision to stop waiting on validation or permission, the decision to stop asking why did this happen to me, and start to ask, and you know what?
28:07
SPEAKER_00: How can I build from this?
28:09
SPEAKER_00: How can I weaponize this wound that I got?
28:11
SPEAKER_00: How can I get the wisdom out of this so that I can level up if I had to go through it anyway?
28:16
SPEAKER_00: Because those type of questions they change everything.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: See, a victim will replay the event, but a black sheep and a builder, we redesign the future.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: Black sheep, you know, we're builders.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: See, your legacy is waiting on your healing.
28:32
SPEAKER_00: Some of you think that your story ends with survival.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of times I just talk about survival, but that's just the first part of it.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: See, survival is chapter one, healing is chapter two, but thriving is chapter three, and your legacy, building your legacy is the final chapter.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: That's why I refuse to let pain have the last word in my life.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: The last word belongs to purpose, growth, impact, and the legacy that I'm going to build and leave behind.
29:02
SPEAKER_00: So let's get into these three black sheep action moves that you can put into place right now.
29:07
SPEAKER_00: Number one, I want you to think about a painful story or scenario that you went through and rewrite the ending.
29:13
SPEAKER_00: Instead of asking, why me?
29:17
SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what did this prepare me for?
29:20
SPEAKER_00: What is what are some wisdom things that I can get out of this scenario?
29:23
SPEAKER_00: How can I weaponize this pain?
29:25
SPEAKER_00: And start by writing down three lessons or three pieces of wisdom that you learn from that experience.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: Number two, identify your star that can serve.
29:35
SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what have I survived from that someone else struggling through today could use?
29:42
SPEAKER_00: See, it's your story is your glory, and your glory is where your treasure is.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: Think about something that you've been through.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to share it with anybody, you can just start serving people, right?
29:55
SPEAKER_00: Think about something you went through.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: You a single parent, divorcee, a single dad, right?
30:00
SPEAKER_00: Single mom.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, you went back to night school to get your GD.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: You went back to college at the age of 50, right?
30:07
SPEAKER_00: You stay you stay in a farm community, but you had dreams of moving to the city, and you did it.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: And you did it.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: That's just not your story.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: That might be your assignment.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: And number three, this week, think about one of your most priceless, one of your most valuable stories or pieces of wisdom that you went through, and encourage someone.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: Start this week.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: One lesson.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: Encourage someone, mentor someone, write about it, record a video.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, one of the things that a lot of people don't take advantage of, and that is the recording audio function on a lot of smartphones.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: You have such a wonderful story, Black Sheep family.
30:50
SPEAKER_00: You can just start recording it, and you can put all your wisdom pieces into an audio recording, and you can have it transcribed later.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: You can start a journal, right?
31:00
SPEAKER_00: Don't wait until you're perfect.
31:02
SPEAKER_00: Somebody needs the version of you that simply survived.
31:06
SPEAKER_00: They don't forget about the perfect, right?
31:08
SPEAKER_00: See, black sheep, your stars are proof that you survive.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: Your wisdom is proof that you learn, and your purpose, and you building a legacy is proof that none of it was wasted.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: Black Sheep family, if you've been listening to this podcast since episode one or two, or you've hopped on in the middle, I hope you've realized something.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: That you were never broken or beyond repair.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: You were being built with every setback, the disappointments, the betrayal, every closed door, the lonely seasons.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: We face them all.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: The mountaintop.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you get to the mountain, you're like, I'm at the top of the world, but it's lonely.
31:56
SPEAKER_00: Then you go down in the valley.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: Every tear that you shed, and a lot of us we do a lot of crying alone.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
32:04
SPEAKER_00: It was shaping the person that's sitting here today.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: Not because pain is good, because, but because purpose refuses to waste it.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: And maybe, just maybe, that's what's being ripped for a reason really means.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: Not that life was easy or fair, but everything you survive is help preparing you to thrive beyond something greater than you can even comprehend.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: So we've reached a crossword, a crossroads.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Over the last 49 episodes, we've talked about vision, purpose, discernment, risk.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: We've covered so many things: time, identity, leadership, boundaries, forgiveness.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: We've talked about starting where you are, turning your pain into power, and the masterpiece mentality.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: So here's the question: Black Sheep family.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: What do you do with the person you've become?
33:01
SPEAKER_00: Because if you've listened to these episodes, you have become someone different.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: How do you take everything you've learned and build a life that's going to leave that legacy behind?
33:12
SPEAKER_00: A life that's aligned and a life that leaves a legacy behind.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: That's exactly what we're going to answer in our milestone episode.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: We are at our 50th episode, Black Sheep.
33:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm absolutely excited about it because the next time that we talk, I'm going to be pulling back the curtain and revealing the system behind everything we've been building together.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: Everything.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: The framework that's been quietly connecting every single key, every story, every challenge, and every breakthrough you went through.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: We're going to be talking about in our next episode called the Black Sheet Reinvention Protocol.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: If you've been waiting to really make a huge change and shift in your life, you see what's going on in the media, and just in general, like meaning the career, uh, the career landscape, even business landscape, listen, we have the roadmap.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna talk about it in the next episode.
34:07
SPEAKER_00: And trust me, you don't want to mix what's next.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay?
34:12
SPEAKER_00: So keep in mind, my my friends and family, until next time.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: Information is everywhere, but execution is rare.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: Speak to you soon.