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We Talk Back: Roses Are Red, Flags Are Too · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Valentines, Galentines, Gallantine.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I never celebrated a Gallantine. Why because I'll be having
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: a Valentine.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: You can do both.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: I'm try of hanging with bitches.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Of it.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Were back, y'all, We're back. What's up, y'all? It s
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: your co host a j Holiday.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: And it's Tambama. I love y'all so much. I missed
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: y'all so much these few weeks without y'all. I've been
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: feeling sick. How you been feeling great?
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: I've been able to go to sleep at night, and
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: I have to think about another thing I gotta do
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: after get off from one job and do another.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: This feels like a job to you, Yes, it does.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: Like this is a lot of work.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know like people probably think, even when we
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: do virtual it's it's a lot of work, you know
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: We probably be like it's fun skating. I mean, it's fun,
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: but it's still a lot of work.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I would prefer to just be doing this as life's work, right,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: That's what we're working towards.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: But I still don't want to talk on the mic
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: fever you want to.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Yep, I was.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: In this capacity.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but just like more money you talking about.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: This is easy work for them, damn dollars. So it's
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: just a lazy hustler.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I think that's what it is. Yeah, I'm a lazy ass.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I do not like chasing money. I don't like feel
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: like I'm hustling. I don't I don't like it.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I don't mind. Guess what y'all is Valentine's Day Week?
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Does this come out before?
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, this comes out right before Valentine's Guess what?
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I got a Valentine?
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: This is my first year with a real Valentine, a
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: real one, because I had some fake wins in a decade.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Ain't that crazy that time? First of all, the time
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: between twenty sixteen and twenty twenty six doesn't even feel real.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: It's weird when people were doing a challenge online like
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: the ten year, I'm like, twenty sixteen seems like yesterday.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: It does not seem like a decade ago.
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I look at pictures from then, I'm like, I just
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: took these pictures.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Right, But then I look at me from then. Yeah,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: my back is a little bit bigger, so I know
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: it is a decade ago.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: My wrinkle a little deeper. I've been getting acupunction.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: How's that working for you?
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: It's working, it's working.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's a ghost.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: It's working. It snatches your face.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: It's temporary, obviously, right, but it still trains the muscle,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: just like doing botox. So because I do Class pass.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Class Pass is a sixty dollars a month for twenty
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: eight credits. My ass, don't we get into the gym soil.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: At the end of the month, I be having hell
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: of credits. I just go get acupuncture, use the mom.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: So I'm paying six dollars a month for acupuncture.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Oh that's not bad, No, it's good.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: But they do full body and then they do the
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: needling in the face too, like Linda jawline, and in
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: your air because apparently a pressure point in the air
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: like does the face.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Oh like for lymphatic drainers. Yeah, I might have to
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: try that. I'm actually scheduled to get chin Life Poe
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: on March twenty third.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Am you doing that for that? You shouting out the clinic?
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: I can doctor Sagar peateail. He's in Beverly Hills. So
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: I'm excited. I'm scared, but I'm also excited because y'all know,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: i'd be like tucking my hair around my deck now
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: she'd be like, yeah, so when after all elongated, y'all
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: gonna get all the side profiles. And I'm excited for that.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: But let's talk about it. Valentine's are you doing anything special?
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: I probably just do dinner and such, dick like, not
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: too much.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Just that's it, y'all say, pussy is not Valentine's predate present.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I know a lot of niggas that beg to differ.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of men who don't get Kucci. So
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: the men who are just just over you're.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Ungrateful is what you are. That's what it is.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Y'all just over flooded with all his Cuchie like Cuchie
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: doesn't matter that ship, Christmas Birthday, Valentine. Cuccie is always again, right.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: But you're gonna give him something else?
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I do want, like I can't.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I don't really remember a time where I did like
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: a whole lot of gift giving to a guy on Valentine.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Valentines not times, Okay, yeah, I I want to do
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: some really nice stuff, you know, I'm trying to like
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: plan some wait he might hear this.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, I can't say it. That's what I was just thinking,
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Like I wanted to tell y'all, but I can't because
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: it's quarter prior to I'm definitely gonna surprise my new
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: guy for Valentine's Hmmm, I don't say.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Anything, so I didn't message him, and I asked him
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: about the size of these these sweats he likes to wear.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And I know he probably like this, you're trying to
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: buy me something, that's all. You're asking the size of it.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: And he's like, I thought we weren't exchanging its, Like
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I don't particularly need anything. We're gonna do dinner or whatever,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: and he's coming into town. That's enough for me. I'm
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: not racked up on his ass for Christmas. So yeah,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I'm trying.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: To be conservative.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: My God is growing up saving niggas money, right, finally saying,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I am considering a man's pocket for the first time
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: and not like there it's like a limit or anything
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: like that. But I just I'm cool. I think showering
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: him a little bit.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: I think we're going to do something probably like he's
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: playing it so I don't know, but I know it's
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: probably going to be something like because we're going to
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: go to Costa Rica on February twenty eighth and they.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Go to do Ayahuasca.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I want to go now, I would like that, but
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: he's not. He's not going to do that. But I'm
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: going to get a crown on my toom.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: No, he don't do No going to Costa Rica for clown.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get crown and I'm going to get
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: some feelings. He's going to get like all the dinnerwork
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: I need for the fraction of a call said it
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: is in the United States.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: Did you get an estimate already?
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't remember. It was like eight hundred dollars.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Wow, I might need to consider that.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: And this is the dentist he's been going to for
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: a long time. That's how he knows that they're good.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, because I like, I know I probably
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: mentioned this the last couple episodes, but I just recently
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: had my mouth fucked up by the dentist and the
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: the what is it the people that clean my teeth first? Yen,
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: the hygenis Yeah. She was like, what do you do like.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: And one of the things I told her I do
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: because she was saying how great my teeth were. I
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: don't come to the fucking Dennis.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: It's like one of the things I.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Would not recommend that for everybody.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Well, right to keep your teeth.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: I now have sensitivity and all types of shit happening
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: on the left side of my mouth that I didn't have.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I have a feeling in the front that is now
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: chipped randomly. I got this feeling ten years ago, twenty seventeen.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: And why is it chipped? What did y'all?
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: What happened when y'all were cleaning my teeth?
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It's just, oh, we got chipped in the Yeah, so
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: And this feeling that you gave me in the back
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: is messed up now it's something that's air getting back there. Pocket.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: I got to replace my mom's partial because Bella got
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: a hold of her mouth. You know what that was.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I had a mouth guard and they would say, just
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: make sure you have any pets, make sure the dog.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Because they like they like.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: So now I have to replace that.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: You might as well take her to Costa Rica.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: That's what I think I should do.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So she can get a whole ship hip, right, Brandy.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: So I guess we talked about love today a little bit.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk about it and the different dynamics, right,
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: because everybody, you know you have situationships on Valentine's Day?
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: How do you maneuver through that, Valentine?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: I mean guys would like, like they'll pick a fight
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: with you early. Like I saw a nigga say on
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: what did he say? It was on social media? That
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: something about his check being like he was setting up
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: to play early on social media. So he's like, but
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: I won't get it to the fifteenth. Now, you got
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: to do nothing for me in the fort right, like
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: trying to set up their play where he don't have
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: to do something.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: And it's real bad now because Valentine's is on a Saturday, right,
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: you lot at work where you at, what's excuse?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: There's gonna be a lot of people who aren't gonna
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: deal with each other anymore because they didn't show up
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: on Valentine's.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: I mean I've been there, man, middle finger to my
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: old life.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I remember being in my twenties and dating somebody who
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: was a pathological liar. But I was a pathological acting
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: like I don't know what the fuck going on, right,
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: and still messing with him, and he was like trying
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: to rush Valentines for me. One year I've had that boy, Like,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: you know, the restaurant's going to be packed, this is
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: gonna be an all day ordeal. So you should have
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: picked where you needed to be at, which was most important,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: because really, you let my feelings be the one to
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: get hurt because one thing, I don't like people playing
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: with me though, because you could have left my ass
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: at the house, right, it was terrible, like I feel
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I think I ended up leaving him at the restaurant.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: It was so bad.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: And that's why I say I haven't had Avalentine in
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: ten years, because I did have one in prior in
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: that during that time span, but he like, I guess
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: he had more than one Valentine, and I guess I
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: was the early man Valentine because he was like, he
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: cooked me dinner, he did all the things, and yeah,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: and then tried to act like his homeboy, like his
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: homeboy needed a ride and he had to go pick
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: him up, so he had to leave. I was like,
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: get him an uber.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: He left you at the house.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I know he tried to leave me all I just left.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Where are you going? You go into another Valentine? Obviously,
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: bitch chance nigga.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: So for women, right, I know, women sometimes they kind
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: of like try to seek men out, try to find
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: somebody specifically like for Christmas, for Valentine. If you're not official,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: do you even deserve anything like shold this man feel
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: obligated to do something nice for you on Valentine?
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Well, I guess it just depends on the dynamics of
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: are y'all sleeping together. If y'all sleep oh yeah, then
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: yes period.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: What if y'all ain't sleeping together yet, but y'all like dating?
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: And then I mean, flowers is a nice cond gesture,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: just seeing to someone that you're just dating and getting
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: to know, just to let them know that, hey, it
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: is Valentine's Day. We may not be there yet, but
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I am thinking of you, but not doing nothing because
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: we ain't.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Like.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I don't celebrate val I hate it. I don't celebrate
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Valentine's daans nigga.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: I hate it. I don't celebrate Christmas and all shut
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: shut up.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: And I'm not even a like super into gift giving
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and all that shit because I do expect some shit
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: all the time, but I that that is some old
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: nassy hotep bullshit.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: You're right, just so you don't have to spend your money.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Well, you celebrate Christmas right now, you celebrate Valentine. I
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: think men know that. No, it's not just this. Uh
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: it's not a super spectacular holiday or it's not.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: But you know, if you don't show up for the
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: woman that you're fucking with on Valentine, it's gonna be
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: a problem.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Right, even if you don't have a gift, at least
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: be there. Don't be nowhere else. But I think you
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: should come with something, don't come empty empty handed. But
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: women too, because I just feel like women feel like
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Valentine's Day is just about them, and I don't think
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: that's fair. Get your du something. Yeah. I was talking
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: to a client and I was like, well, what are
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: you doing for your guy for Valentine's Day? She's like,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: that's the thing for women to do something. Yeah, girl,
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: that's the thing.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Like gifts too, right, the liking the by men's I
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: like the bay Mens shit that I like like, I
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: like certain colognes and a couple of niggas might be
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: walking around smelling the same, but.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Actually my current I bought him a cologne that nobody
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: else Yeah, yeah, no, seriously, but I got some colognes
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: that I like, and I know I have bought that
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: same cologne for several I mean, excuse me for a
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: couple men.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: But he got a new fragrance that I actually like,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: went out and smelled. You know, you got him a
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: nice one, then nobody else has?
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: Is he special like.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: That for Valentine?
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Anyway?
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Do you think, uh, social media kind of puts an
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: unrealistic expectation on Valentine Day because you know, everybody is
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: a millionaire on Instagram.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: So you got the men setting.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Up the hotel rooms with all the roses everybody, I
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: don't know who the fuck clean and all that shit up.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: But yeah, I think social media puts an unrealistic expectation
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: on absolutely everything. Everything is just gotta be radios. Like
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: remember when baby showers were everybody come to the house,
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: sit in the living room, we have cake and a
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: couple like food.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Or you rent out the clubhouse and your apartment.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Club apartment complex and then it just be something with
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: your close friends. Now it's a whole fucking production, like
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: shit exploding the Sky, and you know, like just.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Is too much imagic being pregnant. You mad the man
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: you're pregnant for. It's like, I'm not paying for that.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: That's too much, right, because all that money that you're
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: spending could literally go to things you need for the baby.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: But that's another story. Valentine's too, like, yeah, it can be,
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: but I want all the things though, So I don't
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: want to sit.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Here and like you want the things that's on Instagram.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I want all the hotel with the flowers and
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: stuff like that. But I mean, you could possibly be
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: talking to somebody who can do all those things. I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: think sometimes women they don't really know who they know
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: who they're with, but they're trying to now force this
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: person to do this thing that they see on Instagram
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: so that they can post it on Instagram of course, right, and.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: You just not with that nigga from Instagram.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: That's not your nigga, right, that's not He don't he
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: can't do that, or maybe he values his money just differently, right.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: And he doesn't want to do that, but he does
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: want to. Like, you need new tires on your car, that.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: Was one thing.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I didn't get you anything for Valentine, but
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I just paid your car. Note that may not be
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: good enough for somebody they want both.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not saying like that's not good enough for
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: me per se. But if you can do both, do both.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: But if you had to choose, obviously the more responsible
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: one is the one you would need to go with.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: And I think we're speaking more to young people in
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: this conversation. When you're in your twenties and even early thirties,
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: like you may not be able to forties.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: You don't think a lot of people spending Valentine Day
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: and all these different holidays where people they not they
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: can't even get commitment out of.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: And I mean sometimes in men's mind like this is
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: I'm here with you on Valentine's Day. No, I didn't
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: see you and.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: My girl or my my girlfriend or whatever, my lady,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: but I'm here with you.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: It speaks volumes right a little bit.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: No, I do like, you chose this person to be
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: with on Valance, the day that we celebrate love. You
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: chose this person to be with you. I do think
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: that says something. But until you say I'm with you,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: we are together? Y'all single, right, because a nigga will
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: definitely be like we together, y'all to damn. I was
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: at your grandma hospital with you and your grandma, Like
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: I took your grandma to the hospital with you. I
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: know your whole family. I watch your kids.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: No, hold on, I got a messy meme. Hold on,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: I saw this meme when I said.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: That, all right, why are you finding that I can take.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I just want to tell y'all that, like a decade ago,
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day, I would go nigga knock, like if
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: it sounds like people were in love and there, oh,
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: y'all playing music in that motherfucker and run that shit
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: used to be so much fun. I was such a
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: hater run out, such a hater ship to do, but
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: it was fun.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: This is actually for another episode, but it's relevant.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: Men, be like, she's just a friend and it's literally
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: someone named nutted in.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: Right, But unless unless.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Y'all have said that y'all are more than friends, then
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: you're just a friend that's been nunted in shit. That's
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: why you have to like say the thing, make people
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: say the thing.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: This thing I saw online it was talking about like
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: a silent scorecard, like how women I think women we
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: put so much.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: We put more energy into things that we do.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: Like men like they say any simple whatever, whatever, It's
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: just lazy, It's what I'm hearing, right, So what do
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: you think the difference between a man planning Valentines versus
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: a woman actually planning Valentines?
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: In terms of questions?
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Also like how not like women are going to do
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: more when planning Valentine?
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like men do more when
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: planning Valentine's I do? I do? I feel like men
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: now sometimes, Like I have a friend she gives her
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: man better gifts, so she's like this shit, I ain't
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: doing all of that because I always give him a
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: better like it's more thoughtful. So I'm just gonna give
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: him something simple this time because I know I'm not
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: going to get the same effort. But I feel like
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: on Valentine it's.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: Like scorekeeper, because it shouldn't matter if this, if you
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: are a great gift giver, continue being a great gift giver.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: It shouldn't be based on the gift.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: But if you always get dope ass gift and this
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: nigga giving you some bullshit every time, that don't align
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: with anything like did you even think of me when
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: you buy me this, Like this nigga got her go
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: pro go pro camera.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: You put on your hand. She don't do none of that.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: She don't do nothing athletic, She don't go outside. But
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: you bought this for you. You know you bought this.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: You gave it to me, But this is really for you.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I mean she can wear it while she gets.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: With the go pro fuck out here.
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: That's still not good. I how to go pro like like,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: I would use it too. But did a nigga get
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: you a camera? What the fuck? That camera? We kept
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: be taking pictures right now outside?
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Get it? But I mean never, I got meta glasses.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I love my meta glasses, so go pro is similar.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: That's on. That's on character meta glasses.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I wore them s to the planetarium. That sh it was.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I was looking like, I got the video. It's nice.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Don't bring them ship around me. That's the police ship.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: You were the first person that had those the virtual
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: what is she called the like the virtual little goggle thing?
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't remember what it's called. But I love
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: that shit too. But I do feel like men are
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: expected to do more for Valentine's Day than women.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Why is that though, I wonder why why is it
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: like seen as a woman holiday and men only have
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: what they birthday and Father's Day.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: You know, in Chicago days celebrate Sweetest Day. That's a
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: male driven holiday.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: But sweeties sweetest.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: I think it's sweetest. But I might be saying it wrong.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I don't live there, but I know they celebrate that,
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: and it was always like male like about your man.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we can celebrate many more.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we should celebrate the more and like
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: do better. What did didn't Kanye say, you got me
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: a sweater next year? Do better? Like she just got
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: the Nigga's sweater? Like, I think we do need to
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: because y'all do think. I say, y'all that kouchie is
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: just a gift enough. It's not.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: No I'm giving kouchie. I'm just saying for men to
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: act like it ain't a gift.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: There's a lot of men who don't get kuci any day.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: No, if you are lucky enough to have some cuccie
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: locked in for Valentine in life period.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: But if you got this kuchie, the same kuchie on
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: the twelve, is it a gift on the fourteenth? Yes, No,
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: ain't that's the same two days ago. But why Okay,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: imagine me not giving you that, Kuchie. This nigga about
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: to go crazy if you don't get that Kuci. I
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: know I get what you're saying. It don't feel like
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: a gift. I've had this gift many times before.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: Why they be mad when you fall asleep. You can
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: be not playing the whole day to have sex and
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: you fuck around.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Go to sleep with a nigga if you want to.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I've had it happen to me. I'm thinking about this
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: dick from the time we left the house this morning.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: When we get home and you had to sleep first,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: you're gonna wake up with the snail trail on your forehead.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Yikes.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: Take that ass up early in the morning with the
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: breakfast club.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: But no, I can't understand why just the same vagina
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: from the twelfth is not a gift.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: It's part of it's part.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: It could be part of the gift, but it should
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: not be the whole gift, especially if you want a
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: man to do all this grandiose things so you can
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: post it on Instagram for your friends. And all you
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: brought was the same cucci from two days ago, and
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: you ain't even bringing no new tricks out. You just
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: doing the same shit you did two days ago.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: You know, if you bring out new tricks randomly with
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: a nigga, he gonna think you smash somebody else yesterday,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Like who taught you that?
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: Where you get that new trick?
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: From XXXT videos or whatever it's called.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: It's Valentine's Day a love language test, you think, because
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: like what I'm saying, like women might do planning a
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: little bit better.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: You say men play better for Valentine. I guess they
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: usually do all.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like they have to plan for Valentine's Day.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: The woman isn't like, oh I got reservations here. That's
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: not typical for Valentine's Day's the man who does that, right?
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I'd be playing the shit because I
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: don't want to eat someplace you take me some bullshit.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: I need to know what we are.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: I will, yes, I'm playing in the restaurant we eat,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: not because I need to make sure it's gonna be
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: some good food in the menu.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I be pissed going places in that it's nothing
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: on there. I want to eat.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like I would have closed my eyes and see
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: what happened on Valentine's da Right, you could at.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Least get a good steak somewhere, like I need to
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: make sure they got I don't know, some type of shrip,
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: something apasta, but your man should know that about you, right, yeah,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: and then picket, I'm also from Charleston. It's not so
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I don't mind it, Okay. I like the plan of
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: food regardless. I feel even if we was going someplace
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: neither one of us was from.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: Like, I'm in charge of the food.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm real particular. You know about what she eat.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: I don't want no bullshit now, But I feel like
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: I got off the question.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: What was it? It's Valentine's a love language test?
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: You think it can be? I mean, especially if your
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: love languages gifts like mine.
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: You don't give no guests, you hate me, basically, That's
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: what I'm hearing.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I guess it can be a love language
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: test because you know you words of information, acts of service,
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: what are they? Physical touch? I mean, I guess you're
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: gonna do literally all.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Of them, Valentine, we have one or I like, I
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: do all the love languages, and I feel like there's
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: another love language.
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: We talked about toxicity.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: That's one that's some people's love language, and I like
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: my love language is consideration because all that ship, you're
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: considering what it is that I like, So all of
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: those things should fall under consideration.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess that's like all of it. It's all
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: of it in one.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Just do all the things. This has romantic or red flag.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: He gets jealous because he loves me. What where are
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: we going at with that?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: That's definitely.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: What if you was with somebody who did all these
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: things on Valentine and then like that was it for.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: The rest of the year, rest of your relationship. But
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: you know what, I'm not because I don't need shit.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I don't want to lie. That's about to lie. I
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: was about to lie so bad. Sometimes you just gotta
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: know yourself a little bit more. I was about to say,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: I don't need shit all year, Like I want three
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: bigger gifts a year, Valentine's, my Birthday, and Christmas, and
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: luckily they're like spaced out about three boots apart. Yeah, right,
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: so you have enough time to get those gifts and
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: you know, and then the rest of the year, I
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: don't need shit. That's how I feel.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: In case of tire attire, they don't count that shit
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: do count?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: I just I just thought I just bought you four
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: set of tires last month, and now Valentine's coming.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Up, and so so I would consider that. Obviously, I
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: would be like, Okay, well I don't just flowers still
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: coming here with something? Right? Damn, don't come in here
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: with nothing.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: Don't just come with dick.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Don't just come with no, we can't you bet not
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: just come with Dick and.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: Take that back to the house.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I don't even know where this is going at with
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: a romantic or a red flag, but it says constant
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: texting equals carrying or control grand gestures after bad behavior.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: I don't know what the hell that's about.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: Grand gestures after bad behavior like doing like nice things
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: if you did something wrong, like buying me shit to
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: get back in my good grace. I like that, at
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: least I like to like, don't just come in here
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: and talk about you sorry? Where are the gifts.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Change action and a gift you make up bag something nice?
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I'm just not even in a space where I want
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: to be in any situations with somebody making me that mad.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: They gotta make up with me.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Well, that's what I just feel like, that's reality. Like
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: we're all human, We're gonna be flawed and make mistakes,
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: and I'm gonna probably we're gonna have to make up
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: at some point. You know who you with that ain't
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: gonna that's never that's never gonna.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying they're gonna fuck up, but do we
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: gotta make up? You just feel like people be people,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: don't do what you want to do, and then think
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to make up with you?
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: Out with people?
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: No more what you mean?
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: So if y'all be.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: Good forever, that's all happen in real life. It does,
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: it can.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Remember I was staying high.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I saw this couple on Instagram and it was a
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: white couple. They would be interviewed on the street and
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: they had to married for like thirty years or something
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: like that, and they said the key to their successful
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: marriage because they was like.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: It was just walking holding hands still like all each other,
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: right it was.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: She said that they are they both try to one
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: up each other and how happy they.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Can make the other.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, if we know what
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: would make our partner sad, So whyever do those things?
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but sometimes people do things notot it's not their
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: intention to hurt you, you know.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: In relationships.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I mean I can see like you leaving shit around
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: the house, right, maybe you're just not the cleanest person,
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: and you try really hard to pick up behind yourself,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: but you just can't seem to do it. But anything else,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: like cheating, you could not have done that. Yeah, you lyon,
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know, fucking money up. You could have not
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: done those things.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But people are gonna make mistakes, you know. I
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: just feel like you just gotta give them grades to
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: make mistakes, and they're gonna make bad choices. And I
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: love a makeup. I love to make up. You used
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: to start fights just to make up. You don't like
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: makeup sex? There's a lesson.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: No, if we I don't be I don't want to
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: have to keep making up.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: We don't have to keep making up. But I'm just saying, like, yeah,
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: it's like an intense level of passion that comes with
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: a makeup, you know, like after a dispute. No, I
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: don't want to, Like if we don't know what I'm talking,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I know exactly what you're saying. But what I'm saying
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: is I have to be happy to have sex, first
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: of all. And if we are constantly always having yes,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: make up, sex do be filled with a lot of passion.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: But it gets to a point to where I don't
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: want you to touch me. Why are we always having it?
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: Why we gotta be mad at each other to have
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: this type of passion?
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. Why cannot we Why can't
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: we have this passion and happy? We got to create
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: environments to be pissed at each other so we can
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: fuck the shit out of each other. No, I want
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: to do this. I want to fuck you just like
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: this and happy about it.
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's not real, not all the time it happened,
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: or not all the time, you know, Like after you've
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: been with someone so long and y'all y'all been together
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: for a while, sometimes that passion can wane. That passion
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: can wane.
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: And this you can wane. You can make me gonna
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: be on a nigganame Wayne.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Sorry, all right, I'm sorry, but but but what I'm
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: saying is that passion can weigne sometimes and sometimes it
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: takes something like a fight, can spice it, bring some
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: little spice and bring some intentions.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's how I want to spice
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: it up, because I am a very I'm vindictive first
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: of all, like secretly, and then also if i'm I
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: feel like, if you're doing things and you're constantly arguing
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: or whatever, you know, you're falling out of love.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: You're not falling in love.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: So I don't never want to do anything to be
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: falling out of love with the person I'm with if
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I want to be with them.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: The argument, I'm out of there.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I just feel like a relationship, as long as you
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: stick it out, you're gonna fall in and out of
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: love a thousand times. Within that relationship you be together
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: for years and years and years.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Thomas, like, you know, only married nigga in the room.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but but it isn't like when you get married.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: I mean all to me, all relationships is more so
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: about like how much you can put up with somebody else, right.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, that is still
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: the person who ship you want to put up with.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: Right, but y'all not y'all not really falling out of
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: love though.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you've had kill. You'll wake up and
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: be like, I kill this motherfucker the day if he's
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: say what word to be but you still love him,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: but you're just not in love right now. And then
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: some time will pass and you fall back in love
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: for whatever reason you go there. Let's say you go
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: through something hard together and you you realize again the
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: thing that made you fall in love with him in
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: the first place. You know, like it's just like a.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: Right stuff.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Though I don't know, because life is hard stuff. I
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: don't know. I know being in love is definitely a
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: state of mind. I just don't want to be in
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: a situation where my state of mind is out of
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: love more than it is in love, you know, just
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: because if it gets to that point, I'm out of there.
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, But you ain't never been
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: laid next to it. And I got the fuck this
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: motherfucker the day if he says.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: Something no I and I had to get up out
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: of there, because eventually, if it's too many of those days,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: there's no love left. Right. You might love this person,
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: you care about them, you care about their well being.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: You don't want nothing to happen to them. I love
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: my ex boyfriend.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: We haven't spoken since uh since he left, right since
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: since we broke up.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: But I care about his well being. Not that I
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: love and love with him, but I fell out of
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: love and I just fuck.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: But when you're in a marriage, sometimes people go through
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: years where they don't like their person and then they
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: come back and they're back in love. But they decided
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: to I might not stay in that commitment because they
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: decided to make that commitment. You hear people say that
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I didn't like that nigga for at least seventy ten
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: years whatever our marriage.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: And I might not be built for marriage then, you know,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: because I beholding grudges. So it's gonna be like if
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: it's some real serious, severe shit, I'm not getting over
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: it easy, you know what I'm saying, Like I matter
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: of fact, I necessary that because I'll stay in the thing.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: But I got resentment while in the thing, Like I
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: don't want that anymore. For me, I've been in relationships
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: and having holding on a hell of resentment. I can't
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: move past the thing and it's just miserable. So I
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: can't imagine being married to somebody legally, and you just have.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: To deal with bullshit that people give you, because I'm
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: not giving you bullshit to deal with, You're given the
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: relationship bullshit to deal with.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I just think like when you get
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: into it with somebody that you really really see that
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: future with, you're gonna stick it out. You're gonna stick
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: it out because I've seen you stick it stay in
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: things that weren't suited for you for longer than you
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: should have.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: So I think saying, though, maybe I didn't stick it
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: out in those situations longer, that's what that person thinks.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: Those people would think I abandoned them. I didn't stick
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: it out longer. I didn't whether this my fucking acts.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Because you got homeboys who have cheated on their fucking girls,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: cheated on their wives, and they are still together. He
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: was like, so and so said, we're supposed to stay together, Like, no, nigga,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I leave niggas.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: And I have told you that before, I have told
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: you I'll leave. I'm a runner, I'm a track star
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: for real.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: So no, it's not too much of sticking out because
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: a lot of times it's the woman endurance that keeps
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: the relationship going in the first place.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Is we've endured all the her. Yeah, we have sat
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: and endured all a hurt for us to get to
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: twenty years of marriage. What did the man endure? You
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: ain't have likely because I got a little fat one
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: day and he went outside his house and complete your
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: happiness someplace else, because over there is fun because ain't
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: no bills over there, ain't no kids over there, and
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: you had to come over here to me. And I'm
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: here with the kids in the house and the possibilities
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: and that. I don't want to be over there either,
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: you know? Did I say I got the way you're
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: fighting it. I'm over here with this bitch too. That
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: bitch house is late, but she got ebt.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: It's fun over here. Yeah, So yeah, I don't know.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I just feel like if you talk to older women,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: I don't want this is Valentine's Day, so I don't
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: want to like overshadow it, like the relationship.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: Because this was supposed to be a happy los.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: Woes and stuff like that. But I think if you talk.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: To a lot of older women who probably divorced now,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: they don't ever want to be married again.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: They feel like it was the worst mistake than they
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: fucking life.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: Those women, right, it was because their endurance that they
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: got forty fifty our grandmother's it was their endurance of
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: bullshit that got the marriage to fifty years.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: The man just is fun.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: But then but in turn, there's there's women who have
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: been in their marriages and they both had to deal
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: with their other person.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: That's the thing.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: I just know that I don't think I'm gonna be
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: able to find somebody that will deal with my bullshit,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: but you will for six years shut out and I'm
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: still in it with you.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Contract that's all the marriages, right, Yeah, but yeah, I
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: don't think.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I just never I've never gotten the same amount of
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: grace in a relationship that I give, right, So I
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: just I don't know. I'm taking South on the grace back.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's what I don't know. I'll see when it happens.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: I hope that this relationship you're in is the one
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: that you know.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: It's already different, right, And some days I'd be like,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: am I good enough for this nigga?
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Like I really be thinking, and that's good when you
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: feel that way.
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: Am I good enough? Like? Am I finished doing all
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: my bullshit so that I don't hurt him?
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Because I just feel like healthy in my head and
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: this might be stupid, but are crazy, but in my head,
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: a healthy relationship is when both of you feel like
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: you don't deserve each other. You know, I always feel
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: like the men are always like damn, how did I
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: get hurt? Right, and I'm like, yeah, how the fun
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: did you get? But with this new guy, I also
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: in turn feel like damn, he's so good, Like how
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: am I so lucky to have this guy? And I
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: don't typically feel like that, So I just think like
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: that's important when you both are feeling like you aren't
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: even worthy of the other person.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: We talk about love.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, see how full circle came right back around to love?
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's how I feel because,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: like I told you before, I feel like in this
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: particular relationship, it's almost like.
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: My last relationships. I was like fretting over nigga cheating,
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: lying and whatever, and now I was like, oh my god,
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: like I don't know what.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: I would do if something happened to this person. That's
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: how I feel about him, Like the worst shit I
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: was feeling about these niggas. I'm gonna beat this nigga
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: asked if he did such and such stuff because I
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: know he was outside doing such and such a sight.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: So now just to know, like I'm just afraid, like
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: I just I'll be scared.
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I really be scared.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: Good something gonna happen.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: No, that's not good.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: No, I know I'm not trying to manifest it or
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: anything like that, but it's just like that is how
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: that's how much I love him, Like I'm afraid that
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I could be hurt by this motherfucker, like for real.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: By him doing something or just the loss of the
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: loss of Yeah, that's fair and that's and there's some
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: beauty in that.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: In a weird k you get it, Thomas, Okay, hold on,
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: let me add a little a little bit of context.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: My significant other is a little younger than me, and
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: I was talking to a friend the other day and
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: I told him that I was like, you know, he
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: a little younger than me, because he said, y'all talking
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: about marriage and shit.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, it's only been like a little while.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: For real, when you meet people like who are good people,
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: it just seems like you've always known them, Like it's
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: almost like ancestral, you know, like you've been known this
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: person for a long time. But he was like, you know,
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: sometimes men need like a little nudge, And I told
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: the nigga that, right.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I told my homeboy.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: My homeboy that I was dating a younger man, and like,
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: I really was not trying to pressure him about marriage
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: and shit like that because I still want him to
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: do all the things, you know what I'm saying with
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: or without me. And he was like, it don't matter
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: that that shit don't matter. Shit Still, some sometimes men
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: I need a little bit, need a little push.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: So I told him that.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: He was like, all right, go ahead, listen to your homeboy.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, what you're saying, if I push you,
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm gonna push you out the door type shit.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: If that can happen.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: I mean, And at this point, I really don't care.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: So if I were to like really like listen, because
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I have he has to consider me the thing that
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: I have.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: To consider him. So if me like one of these
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: things like push you away, then maybe we're not supposed
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: to be together.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you this. If you're with someone
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: who's making you happy, providing you with a good life,
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: like like basically changing your life for the positive. But
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: they say they don't want to be a husband ever,
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: and that's something that you want.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Some days you say yeah. Some days I don't know
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: that I want to be somebody's wife. Some days I
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: don't know if I want to coapitate with somebody every
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: fucking day like long. This might be for the Gemini, Okay, I.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Get I like, I like where my own night in
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: the same space, honestly.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: KICKI pomer Just recently she was on the Breakfast Club.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: I saw her as something else and she was saying,
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: like I could be with a man, a man his eyes,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: but I don't.
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: I don't ever. I mean he could live across the
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: way or.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Something, you know how she talked, But I don't ever
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: want him in the house, Like I feel like a
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: lot of women like it is hard cohabitating with another person.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: I agree, let alone. I'm mad my last relationship lasted
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: as long as it did because that was that Nigga
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: was deployed six months after year.
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: You didn't even know him. He didn't even know him,
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: like he was.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: Gone half the year most years, and it was like
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: it gave me a chance to miss miss him and
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: just spend time with myself. So it was just like
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: the blessing. Yeah, and I just think like that would
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: be ideal for me. A nigga go six months out
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: the year, Like I'm.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: All in love, but this nigga lives in motherfuckers uh
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: in Jersey.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: So what if we were actually living in the same
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: house together. Am I going to still love him the same?
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: Or is this what we're talking about? The absent flows
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: the ship?
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like when you're living with somebody, you have
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: to you have to be super considerate of the other persons,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: considerate of their housemate.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: And we used to let our apartment was we were
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: living in Florida, and our apartment was so tiny. It
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: was like the smallest little apartment, but it was like
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: on the beach and it was very nice, but it
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: was so small. And I swear like I remember like,
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: now this nigga's getting sent to war, and I'm like,
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: where does the war start? Because all ready for this
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: to go, this nigga farted and I could smell it
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: in the kitchen, that's how small the apartment was. In
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: the living room, I could smell his I was like,
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: it's the war today, God, and that's.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: Just awful that you want to send a nigga, off
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: the fight, get out your face.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: So I know what you're saying.
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if I'm ever get over this demon.
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: I don't know thise like this single demon. I don't
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: know because it's tough cohabitator.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: That is one one of the things that my last relationship,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: and because I know it's possible for a man to
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: be just like me because I've had it before. But
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: then it comes that person then comes with some other shit.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: So I can have somebody that.
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: Watched just as much as me, that cleans up behind itself.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: But he's a degenerate gambler, you know, or he's just.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Something fucking maniac that's like or I don't know, a mara,
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: you know. I have to consider the things like maybe
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: he just I'm a maniac in one way.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: He might have been a maniac in another way. I
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: don't know. But yeah, like.
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: This relationshipship is hard, It's very hard, but it's beautiful.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't like trade it. Like you know how
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: they say it's better to have loved and lost than
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: never to have loved at all. That shit is so true.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: I would not trade never having anyone like this. Ten
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: years of being like for real single and then like
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: meeting somebody that I actually really feel like I could
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: be in alignment with for the first time in a
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: long time. It's beautiful and it's very new, and I
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: know that I have a lot of like because being
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: single for ten years and then trying to like date
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: somebody for real is hard because I have just dating.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: It's just different because I have to consider another person
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: in a different way for the first time in a
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: long time, you know. So I've just been out here
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: doing what I want. I see it with my phone
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: like that, who gonna say to? Who gonna check me?
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: But I still have to, like I flip my phone
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: on everybody.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: I have to navigate my life now in a different way,
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: and I have to, like because I mean, it's very new,
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: so I have to like get rid of some people
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: and change some things and navigate some things. So because
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, we're not together yet, so still it's still
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: like but I can see it going that way, you know.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: So we're gonna see what happened, y'all. Y'all pray for me, Okay,
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Happy Valentine, Happy Valentine.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I'm excited to hear about your Valentine I can't wait.
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: To tell you all about it because I feel like
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: it's gonna be special.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: I think, hmm, yeah, actually to be his girlfriend on Valentine.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: I hope that's enough about love.
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: What you want to do? Now? This is the last last, Yeah,
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: that's it.
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like we talked about, do it feels nice,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: do what feels natural, show up for your person, be honest, okay,
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: with yourself first and foremost, and have a very good
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: time doing all the things.
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: That's good. That's good, that's good. Co host, All right,
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: so here's myne go ahead, co host. The best love
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: is self love. Right, So, before I could even have
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: a good Valentine and be focused on the next person,
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I had to love Tammy. And I think twenty five
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: was the year that I one got whooped. I got
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: beat up by circumstances and the environment and all these things,
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: and I had to practice a new level of loving myself,
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: which put me in a better position to love someone else.
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: Hey that's a word. That's a bar right there. So
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: if you are single and you're not with anyone this
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: year for Valentine's Day, it's okay, just love on yourself
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: this year because it's coming. The more you pour into yourself,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: the more the love you're gonna attract it to yourself.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: So yes, yes, you are deserving.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: Okay period. Let the church say dot. We talked back
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: say amen. Clocking All right, y'all. So if you enjoyed
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: this episode, this love a Girl episode, y'all, tune in
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: every day on the iHeartRadio Apple where the fuck you
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: get your podcasts at? This is your co host a
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: j Holiday two point zero on instagrams kick it town.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Because she said every day it's Thursday. But we got
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: enough episodes out day right, Yeah, we need them downloads,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: So go ahead every day, every.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: New episodes every Thursday.
• 47:10
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• 47:13
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• 47:17
  Speaker 2: We love y'all. We love y'all.
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: Remember speak now and never hold your love.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it.
• 47:28
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• 47:32
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• 47:36
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