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Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Owning Your Worth · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning and afternoon or evening, thank you for taking some time to spend with me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna be talking about one of my favorite topics, which is imposter syndrome.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because when we're thinking about leadership, I think this is the thing that comes up so often.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually had the pleasure of speaking with somebody recently, and we were discussing how we don't love the term syndrome because it feels so clinical and like there's something wrong with us.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh for me, imposter syndrome is really just more about self-doubt and a lack of self-trust.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: It hinders a lot of us, you know, whether we're high achievers, we're entrepreneurs, we're professionals, we're students, we're athletes, we're moms, we're dads, we're, you know, whatever walk of life, I think this idea of imposter syndrome slash self-doubt really does um affect a lot of us.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because if we don't feel like we are uh we know enough, or we just don't feel like we belong in a room with other people, a lot of times we can feel like we're faking it and uh we fear that other people are gonna figure us out or we're just we're gonna be figured out as like a fake or a fraud.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but here's the thing that I want to just really hone in on here is that it's actually really common.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: It happens in so many different parts of life.
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  SPEAKER_01: It's not just at work, it happens in so many aspects.
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  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know for a fact that it happens in parenting.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: I know raising athletes myself and a dancer.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: It happens, you know, just in in practice, even.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when you go to practice, talking to other professionals, absolutely it happens in the workplace, but it it happens, you know, on a daily basis with friends, for instance.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when you're going to a networking event or meeting a new group of people, imposter syndrome can kick in because it really is self-doubt.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's this nagging belief that your accomplishments either aren't really yours or that you don't truly deserve the success or that you're not really truly doing the thing that you think that other people are able to accomplish.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so, I mean, it's it's a hard one because logically you know that you've worked hard, but it almost feels like you haven't quite earned your place because a lot of us are dealing with the underlying belief that we're not enough or we're not worthy or we're not lovable.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: And those false beliefs, when they're underneath all of that, it's it's where this feeling of insecurity, this lack of self-trust and this self-doubt really takes hold.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: It will downplay your achievements.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it'll lead you to reject, reject praise.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it'll leave you to feel like you're constantly falling short.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Again, even when there's plenty of evidence to say that you know you've you've done a lot of things, you'll still that that inner critic will find a way to downplay that.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important to recognize that this doesn't only affect people that are beginning something, even seasoned individuals will struggle with this concept.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: They'll struggle with feeling like an imposter or a fake.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, studies have shown that some of the most successful people, CEOs, doctors, creatives, the successful people still battle with feeling like they don't belong or still feeling like they are not good enough.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: So, where does this even come from?
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  SPEAKER_01: And why do so many of us feel that way?
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because, well, first of all, it doesn't appear out of nowhere.
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  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's often shaped in either our upbringing or our experiences or our environment.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: So some of the contributing factors that are known to be common contributing factors in this realm is one's career path.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you're in a field that constantly evolves or constantly changes or is being challenged, like for instance, the tech industry right now with the influx of AI, I have a couple of clients that are high-paid, very seasoned professionals who are starting to self-doubt whether or not they know enough or they've learned enough of the new things.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: So these new roles and responsibilities can all trigger those symptoms of uh feeling like an imposter.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Cultural expectations, societal cultural norms play a huge role in this.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: So if you grew up in an environment where perfection was expected or near perfection was expected, mistakes are not tolerated, you might struggle with the feeling of not being good enough, which leads into sometimes our familial or childhood environments.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you have parents or caregivers, teachers or other people of authority figures that only kind of give praise for achievement, you might have internalized this idea that your worth is based on what you do rather than who you are.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, our own personality traits have an effect on us as well.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Perfectionists, high achievers, you know, those of us who, and I'm one of them, who are more prone to, we might be more prone to experience this because we set really high standards for ourselves and sometimes are unattainable.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, our relationships can have an effect on this as well.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you are in a relationship where you constantly feel like you have to earn love or you have to do something to be loved, that can create that sense of insecurity and self-doubt.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: So these are just some factors that can create that quote unquote perfect storm for fear of failure, for that chronic feeling of unworthiness or self-doubt to take hold.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it's important to remember that it's not just a thought that you're having, it really does manifest in real ways that can impact you in your daily life or in your work life.
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, ways that we will see this pop up is through anxiety, uh, perfectionism, burnout.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of uh individuals who are dealing with feeling like an imposture might actually avoid new opportunities or putting themselves up for a promotion, for instance, because there's a fear of failure.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know with seniors in high school, a lot of them will not uh even apply to certain colleges because they're avoiding that fear of failure.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others or you find it difficult to accept compliments and praise, when you get them, you completely you immediately uh downplay them.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, feeling like a success or your success is just pure luck.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it just happened by by luck.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you catch yourself saying that, over preparing or overworking uh because you feel like whatever you've done is not enough.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you recognize yourself in any of those, just first of all, let me just say you're there's nothing wrong with you and you're not broken.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's a conditioned way of thinking.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're talking about today, because that conditioned way of thinking can shift.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: It is about how much the level of awareness and then the choices you make to work through it.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're if you're ready to think about, you know, how do I work through this?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: If this is what I'm feeling, then stay tuned because I want to walk you through a couple things.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: One, grace.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Give yourself grace.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're not an imposter, you're not a fraud, you are a person who has worked, you have learned, you have grown, and you are where you are today.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: So give yourself credit for that.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: And in that realm, it's important to really practice self-compassion.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of criticizing yourself for not knowing certain things, acknowledge that learning is part of the growth process.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: And no matter how brilliant somebody is, you're not gonna know everything still, right?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: The second thing is start challenging those negative thoughts.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_01: When self-doubt creeps in, you know, really ask yourself, what's the truth here?
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  SPEAKER_01: Or what evidence do I have?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: What evidence do I have that I don't belong here?
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Or even more, you know, just challenge a negative thought and say, you know, what is a different way that I can look at this?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: What's a more balanced way I can look at this?
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because your thoughts are really powerful.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the what we put our energy into is what we kind of cultivate.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important to pay attention to what thoughts you're putting your energy into.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And think about how you can reframe the narrative that you've been telling yourself because you're in charge of the story that you're telling yourself.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of saying, I don't know what I'm doing, maybe just see if you can shift it into, you know, I bring a unique value to the space or I'm learning and growing every day.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I'm here because I earned it and I'm gonna continue to learn and evolve in this role that I'm in.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Reframing how you self-talk is really important.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: The words that you're telling yourself really do matter.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then it is important to celebrate your wins, uh, not just the big ones.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's really important to celebrate the small ones along the way because when we're dealing with feeling like an imposter, a lot of times we'll focus on what hasn't been done or what didn't go well.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of that, it's about celebrating what did get done, even if it was small.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm a huge advocate of success journals.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: Write down things that you're proud of yourself for.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, yes, the things that you accomplished, but then also who are you?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: How did you show up?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: What character strengths did you use?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: And make sure that you're keeping it keeping a journal of that so that the times that the self-doubt creeps in, you can actually open up that success journal and look at that and surround yourself with supportive people.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, your support system, and if you don't feel like you have that, finding, you know, a mentor or a coach that can help reflect some of that back to you is really important.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Moreover, it's it is about the action you take, right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're noticing you're dealing with something, the next question to ask is, well, what am I willing to do about it?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because if we're not willing to take action, nothing changes.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't need to wait to feel confident to start.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times people will say, Well, I'll get started when I feel motivated.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, also, you this is another realm of that.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can't wait until you feel more confident to move forward.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: It is about taking small steps to move yourself forward.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, does not disappear overnight, but you can learn to work through it.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: You can learn to manage it.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that it's gonna go away forever because we're human beings.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: There's gonna be something that we might self-doubt again.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: But once you start building tools for yourself and learning how to work through it, you can truncate the time that you might spiral into that.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, feelings are not always facts.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Feelings give us data, but they're not always facts.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe this week just try something.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the next time self-doubt creeps in this week on anything, just pause and remind yourself, you know, I'm trying something new, or, you know, I'm here because I deserve to be here.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: So if this episode resonated with you or you know somebody that it could potentially help, please feel free to share it.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: And if you'd like to learn more about how coaching and having that support, you know, to help you work through some of these things might be helpful to push you forward either professionally or personally, feel free to book a time with me at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.