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S3 E1 - The Art of the Lie · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: That is be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you, Johnny.
0:24
SPEAKER_01: What a beautiful way to come into the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: And Jeff, what a special night we have tonight.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to season three.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: This is the beginning of season three, Jeff.
0:34
SPEAKER_02: I can't believe it.
0:36
SPEAKER_02: So season three.
0:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm oh, do you remember where you were when we started with season one?
0:41
SPEAKER_02: I think I was right here.
0:42
SPEAKER_01: I think I was right in this exact chair at eccentric Ladyland Studios.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: And actually, the chair, you know, it's on wheels.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: So it moves the chair was actually about nine inches that way.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: So I'm I'm gonna move it over, just you know.
0:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is exactly where I sat.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: This is it.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: I think I sat nine inches too.
0:58
SPEAKER_01: These were die inches.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it was really about three inches, but you know, yeah, but I digress.
1:04
SPEAKER_02: How are you doing?
1:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I have to say something.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: So I generally start every episode with how's it going?
1:10
SPEAKER_02: And I've noticed that it's boring and it doesn't go anywhere, and I'm trying to come up with good things to say.
1:15
SPEAKER_02: Do you have any suggestions?
1:17
SPEAKER_01: Funny you should ask.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: I do have a suggestion.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: How about if I say how's it going?
1:21
SPEAKER_01: Because that would be a whole different spin, right?
1:23
SPEAKER_01: Brilliant! Wouldn't that be different?
1:25
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so how's it going, Jeff?
1:29
SPEAKER_02: How's it going, Steve?
1:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, no, no.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: Wait, I'm supposed to say something different.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, really, after how's it going?
1:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, you can say anything.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: So go ahead.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: How's it going, Steve?
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Well, but how's it going, Jeff?
1:41
SPEAKER_01: No, really.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: Uh good.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Going good, huh?
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Well, you having a good time there?
1:46
SPEAKER_01: You're sleeping well at night or something?
1:49
SPEAKER_02: Well, actually, I'm glad you brought that up because I have not been sleeping well.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've been having nightmares lately, and it's kind of freaking me out.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know what they mean.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: I I generally sleep pretty sound, but in this case, uh lately I've had a couple nightmares.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: One in particular that it's been really scary.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: Why don't you tell me about it?
2:09
SPEAKER_01: Because see, I've I've spent so much time with psychologists and psychiatrists that I I can almost like do that.
2:15
SPEAKER_01: So why don't you tell me and I'll see I'll I can help you.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: Okay, can I lay on the couch?
2:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go ahead.
2:20
SPEAKER_01: Okay, good.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: I won't look at you, and I when 50 minutes is up, a little bell will go off.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: And you know, okay, good.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: You gotta leave and I'll stay here.
2:27
SPEAKER_02: I'll put my clothes back on when I'm done too.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: Whoa, whoa, yeah.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: So, anyways, I had this dream.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: It was about former president Trump, and he at the time he was he must have still been president because he was on Air Force One.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: I can see why you haven't been sleeping.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: It's scary.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, it turns out that Air Force One crashes in a farm on a farm in Nebraska, and law enforcement, you know, they're they have an ambulance, everyone's kind of rushing to the scene.
2:58
SPEAKER_02: And the question is, are there any survivors, specifically the president of the United States, you know, uh president former President Trump?
3:06
SPEAKER_02: I keep have to keep saying former because, you know.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: Right, you know, well, because otherwise you'll have nightmares again, right?
3:12
SPEAKER_02: Yes, that's exactly right.
3:14
SPEAKER_02: So that was scary alone, and then after that, the sheriff and uh his people they enter the smoky area where the flames are still going and they don't see anyone, they don't see the president.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: They see some other remains of people, but they don't see the president.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: Well, say I I just can't ask a quick question.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: In that smoking area, do they allow cigars?
3:34
SPEAKER_01: They do, they do, okay.
3:36
SPEAKER_02: Well, uh, that's that's fair.
3:37
SPEAKER_02: And I hear he had the best cigars.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't I wouldn't doubt it for a minute?
3:40
SPEAKER_01: Nobody had cigars, nobody has cigarettes.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: Everyone's talking about the cigars that he ended up.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: Everybody, everybody, yeah.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: So they don't see him, and then they spot this uh farmer who's plowing his field next to the wreckage.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: They hurry over to the man's tractor, and the sheriff says, Hank, pan.
3:56
SPEAKER_02: That happened to be his name, right?
3:58
SPEAKER_02: That that was the first name he thought of, and hey, that does happen to be the guy's name.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: And he said, Hank, he said, uh, did you see this terrible accident?
4:07
SPEAKER_02: And Hank says, Yep, sure did.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: And the sheriff says, Did you realize that this was you know Air Force One and that the president was on the plane?
4:16
SPEAKER_02: And he said, Yep.
4:17
SPEAKER_02: And he says, Well, were there any survivors, Hank?
4:21
SPEAKER_02: And he said, Nope, they're all dead.
4:22
SPEAKER_02: I actually buried them all myself, and you know, took me all morning to do it, but I buried all of them.
4:28
SPEAKER_02: Kind of sounds like a psycho guy, but yeah, um, you know, and the sheriff says, Oh my god, he says, So, so President Trump is dead, and the farmer says, as he was restarting his tractor, he says, He kept saying he wasn't dead, but you know what a liar he is.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: Well, well, yeah, there you go.
4:45
SPEAKER_02: Steve, I don't know what that means.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's like the little boy who cried wool.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: It's more like the little boy who cried wolf man, you know, it's like big.
4:53
SPEAKER_01: Jeff, that does sound horrible.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: I I can only assume maybe you were thinking of you know some of the assassination attempts, alleged assassination attempts, and I was thinking maybe your fear of flying may have been a factor in that.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I um do you think it has anything to do with uh you know Trump being a liar?
5:08
SPEAKER_02: I I don't know.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh well, well, yeah, yeah.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean that part makes sense.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: But Jeff, I'm glad that you brought up the subject of lying, the concept of the lie, because we got something in the mail today.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: We don't have a guest tonight, but we got something in the mail today that I think we should talk about.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: It's it's on the very subject of lying.
5:27
SPEAKER_01: So is it about Trump lying or we got this from probably a listener, it's anonymous, but it looks like it came from the state of Florida, from Palm Beach.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: We seem to get a lot of very suspicious, anonymous things from Palm Beach, Florida.
5:43
SPEAKER_02: It does seem like that, doesn't it?
5:45
SPEAKER_01: I can't explain it.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: But I digress.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: This is a book, this is a manuscript for a book that's apparently going to be published.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's called The Art of the Lie.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: And the subtitle is A Roadmap to Becoming Rich, Famous, and Powerful Through Lying.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: They don't list an author's name on here, but I I started to take a look through it as I was getting ready here in the studio.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: And Jeff, it is fascinating.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: Steve, I've never been a good liar.
6:08
SPEAKER_02: God knows I practiced.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
6:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: But part of me is always into self-improvement.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: You know that about me.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: And and learning to lie, yeah, learning to lie correctly and successfully, I consider to be in the category of self-improvement.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: It's a skill.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: It's a skill.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: And I and so maybe we can go through the manuscript and maybe there's some chapters that can help me get better at lying and deceiving people.
6:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Jeff, I am sure that some of the pointers in this book could really make you a first-class liar.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: I would love that.
6:42
SPEAKER_01: Let's start with the first chapter.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: The first chapter really kind of caught my attention, and they have these long chapter titles.
6:48
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what publisher, but these are like chapter titles.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: I've seen books that had chapters shorter than some of these titles.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: In fact, but title of chapter one.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Why lie when you can just as easily tell the truth?
7:00
SPEAKER_01: That's not that long, but some of them are long.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: You'll see.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: That that was a bad example, but it's there, really, trust me.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: I've often asked that question.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: You know, isn't it just as easy to tell the truth?
7:09
SPEAKER_01: And then you don't have to remember the story.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: And it seems like a lot of work to lie.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: This explains why you would do that.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: It makes a point that telling the truth is for suckers and losers.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: It's just more fun to lie about everything.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: And even beyond that, it made the point people actually like to be lied to.
7:29
SPEAKER_01: See, these are things I never knew.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: Maybe that's what keeps me from being good at it.
7:33
SPEAKER_02: I I never really thought about it.
7:35
SPEAKER_02: Why do you think that people enjoy being lied to?
7:38
SPEAKER_01: Maybe the lie supports what they already believe, and then they think, oh, well, if that kind of makes me feel better about what I believe, they want to they believe they want they want to believe it was true.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: Maybe they're suffering from you know, Dunning Kruger effect or maybe Chris Phil Jacob effect.
7:55
SPEAKER_02: Or penis envy.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Or penis envy effect.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: I think people with Chris Phil Jacob have Dunning Kruger, but not vice versa.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's one of those like all men are Socrates.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: It's not it's one of those things, right?
8:05
SPEAKER_01: Jeff, I've never been much of a liar too.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: I I don't play poker for exactly that reason.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: You can people always tell, oh, oh, you're holding nothing, aren't you?
8:12
SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean they always know, right?
8:14
SPEAKER_01: Now I may have exaggerated a little from time to time.
8:18
SPEAKER_01: No big lies.
8:19
SPEAKER_01: I I don't recall, and I don't really recall enjoying it, you know.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think that if we wrote a book, it would be the art of exaggeration, because I think that we probably have done that a a time or two.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: Do you uh do you remember uh any examples of where you may have exaggerated or we have?
8:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, maybe a little bit about the show's popularity, but I just don't see the harm in talking about let's be honest, Jeff, in talking about the millions.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: And if I talk about reaching tens of millions versus just millions, uh you know, there's still millions.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: And maybe, maybe that photo of us on the website, maybe that's a little older than last year.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
9:01
SPEAKER_01: You know, you may have done some exaggeration in your time too.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: I have.
9:05
SPEAKER_02: There's a couple of them, a couple things that I've exaggerated on.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: For example, I I have one testicle, not two, and which probably could be a good way to start the episode is to just tell you that I have one testicle, maybe you know, grab the audience, you know, by one, by one testicle.
9:21
SPEAKER_01: By the shorts, so to speak.
9:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, there's an argument which of those is the exaggeration.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: Are you exaggerating saying you had two, or is the exaggeration that you're unique and you have one, and that might be the fabrication?
9:33
SPEAKER_01: See how that could work either way, you know?
9:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think I'd probably have to ask Kathy whether how she feels about that.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: You know, my dad always told me one testicle was plenty, and this came from a guy who you know didn't have any.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: And Kathy would be she would be the the tiebreaker on that one, I suspect.
9:51
SPEAKER_02: So she would, you know, but right now, you know, both of us, Kathy and I both have one testicle.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: So oh, and that was so nice.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Maybe when you got married, you decided, hey, we're gonna share everything, and yes, yeah.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: She probably took my second one.
10:06
SPEAKER_01: That's very legit.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: Ready for another chapter here?
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, hit me up.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: I just flipped ahead a little bit because I I kind of did some reading.
10:12
SPEAKER_01: You know how I I read, I kind of it's I I get bored in one section, then I go like into a completely different section, and I get bored there, and then I go back to the first one, and then I go back to one in between.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just it's it's it's hard, but it it is sort of a pattern, but I digress.
10:27
SPEAKER_01: This one, chapter 14.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: Again, fairly long title.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: Always lie to people who have low IQs, or another way to put it, know your audience.
10:37
SPEAKER_01: Of course, that's subjective.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: What is a low IQ, right?
10:40
SPEAKER_01: That's a generalization that low IQ equates to not being able to think.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: We you know, we did a whole show on IQs, you remember, and it really doesn't measure thought process, it just measures how much you know.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't really measure how well you can think.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: It's kind of vindictive, you know.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: And and what's a low IQ?
10:58
SPEAKER_01: Is it like half the country's below 100?
11:00
SPEAKER_01: Is that low?
11:01
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: I don't think so.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: And I and I think that it may be a typo because I think it should have been a lower IQ because I have a lower IQ, but it doesn't mean you know that I'm less of a person.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, except for the one testicle, the one but but I'm I'm otherwise I'm really not less of a person.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: It sounds kind of mean when you say it.
11:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: You know, it sounds like maybe in order to be a good liar, you shouldn't respect people, and it just doesn't feel right.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: And you know, maybe it's all tied in.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: I hate to go all Carl Jung on you, you know, but maybe it's all tied in with you know you're lying.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: And if somebody believes the lie, then you lose respect for them because they're stupid enough to believe this thing that you know is false, right?
11:45
SPEAKER_01: You're saying it and it's false, and you know it's false, and they believe it, and you think, well, how stupid are you?
11:50
SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe it's all tied in.
11:51
SPEAKER_02: Well, again, Steve, you just got me again.
11:54
SPEAKER_02: You only have like one point higher than me on our IQs, but you're you're just way over me on some of these some of these thoughts.
12:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm so impressed.
12:05
SPEAKER_01: At this level, one point is a really big point.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: It's a big point.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: It makes a big difference.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: And I think maybe that's that's a good example.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: You know, when you think about smart lying to people who have low IQs and things like that, we don't do that.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: As we said, we exaggerate maybe a little bit, but I think it's fair to say that we, of course, do not have low IQs, even though yours is a point lower and it's a really important point, but not low in the global sense of the word.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: And we are the smartest podcasters ever in the history of podcasting.
12:37
SPEAKER_01: Everyone says that.
12:38
SPEAKER_01: People are talking about that now.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: I can hear them.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: Are you talking about that right now?
12:41
SPEAKER_01: In the back of my head, I hear them.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: I hear it.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: You hear it too.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: See, see, they're really they're really there.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: And we don't get fooled by lies.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: So that should make you feel a little better, like about us, that we're not one of those some of those people they're talking about.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it does make me feel better.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: If we if we look at maybe another one, I was flipping through it as well because you know, my attention span's really short because I have a little IQ than you.
13:05
SPEAKER_02: And they say that you can measure somebody's IQ by the amount of testicles they have.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: And so in that case, well, I'm and again, I'm I am a point ahead.
13:14
SPEAKER_02: You are you are a point ahead.
13:15
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
13:16
SPEAKER_02: But I'm looking at at this manuscript, and I see on chapter 22 they focus on conspiracies.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Ah, that's a good one.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because it's the big lies, you know.
13:28
SPEAKER_02: They and they're so popular these days, Steve.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
13:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: You can't go anywhere and not see it.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: No, you can't go online without hearing that you know the earth is flat or that we never really went to the moon, and yeah, and and they just get more popular and more popular.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, Jeff, flat earth is having a moment, and that is actually a sentence that I never thought I would say in my entire life.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: If you would take me back to when we first met and you said, one day, Steve, you will say on a podcast that flat earth is having a moment.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't believe it, but there we are.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: So there's all kinds of conspiracy theories, and there's uh, I don't know, there's somebody in in politics, I forget her name, she's got blonde hair or whatever.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: But you you know, she was spreading that rumor that Jews controlled the weather and that they target the people that they hate.
14:19
SPEAKER_02: Although I don't think she calls them Jews, I think she calls them Democrats.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: I think she mixes up Jews and Democrats.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: I guess they're kind of the same thing.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: I don't know to her.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: There's some overlap, it's really a blend, you know.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: It's not all Jews, but you know, Jeff, I was gonna say, if Jews control the weather, can I put in an order for next weekend?
14:35
SPEAKER_02: Yes, you absolutely can.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: I'd like it sunny and sunny and 78, if you see what you can do.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: I have to admit that I I'm not against being able to control the weather, but I haven't been real good at it.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: As you recall, I went to Europe on vacation a few weeks ago and we just had horrible weather and it rained every single day.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: I I tried my best to change the weather, but you know, maybe there was another Jew in France or whatever that changed the weather and and is is better at it than me.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm just trying to be fair.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: Another Jew who had maybe an extra IQ point because see how important that IQ point is.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: If that one's going to control the weather, it's gonna win.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna be able to, because that one point it's gonna matter, you know.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: In this book, he makes the point that we have a lot of people who aren't that smart.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: I hate to admit it, but it's true.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you see it every day, right?
15:24
SPEAKER_01: We have a lot of people that aren't that smart.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: The smart ones, kind of in the stereotypic echo-political structure, not to go all IQ on you here, but in general, the smart ones are telling the dumber ones what to do in general, right?
15:39
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I feel that way too, but you know, a conspiracy flips and then allows people to feel smarter.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: It's it's maybe that's the appeal of it.
15:47
SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, well, I'm not really stupid, it's just a conspiracy.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think there are people out there who look at the world and they say, I wish I could have some control.
15:57
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had a chance to decide the way things are going to be instead of always the smart people.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: And conspiracies give you that chance to say, you're all stupid.
16:08
SPEAKER_02: You all don't get it, you don't have any idea, and then that makes you feel smarter.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: Let's look at a couple more chapters here.
16:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, this one looks interesting.
16:16
SPEAKER_01: It's chapter seven.
16:17
SPEAKER_01: See how I go, I go further out, then I go back, and then I you know it's just I didn't notice.
16:21
SPEAKER_01: This is gonna happen again, yeah.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh, chapter seven.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: There's another long, long title, guys.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: Lies can hurt people, so make sure you use them on people who can't defend themselves, and it helps not to care about them at all.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: That's the title.
16:37
SPEAKER_01: That's the title.
16:37
SPEAKER_01: That's that's the main point of the chapter.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: But that is that is literally the title.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: I kind of get it.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: I think what they're basically saying is that when you do horrible things to people, you need to feel good about that and to realize that because they don't matter that there's no real damage done.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: I see that he gives a example of categories that you don't of people that you don't have to worry about.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: You can be mean, you can lie to, you know, uh immigrants, minorities, women, Ted Cruz, yeah, you know, uh gays, transgenders.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, it goes without saying that those are people you just can be as reckless as you want, and it doesn't really matter.
17:18
SPEAKER_01: Another chapter we should discuss here is one called being creative with your lies.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: As artists, we always try to be creative.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: So he says that if you use a little creativity in the lie, it automatically makes it fun.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: It's fun and it's kind of a ha ha, and that actually makes it more believable.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: You'd mentioned Ted Cruz, which is something I try not to ever do, but you'd mention him.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: Let's use an example if you're uh accusing someone's father of killing President Kennedy, let's say, right?
17:45
SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's just say right that's so far out there that it has to be true because who would say that, right?
17:53
SPEAKER_02: Right.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Who would make that up?
17:54
SPEAKER_02: Well, I know I know one person who would, but well, there was someone did.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: That's an example of that.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: You gotta make sure that whoever you do that to is a person so soulless and so spineless and so into being humiliated and such a personal embarrassment that they'll come back over and over again asking for more.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: Sounds pretty funny, but you know, it kind of reminds me of the game, you know, how low can you go?
18:18
SPEAKER_01: There are cultures out there, and I again not to go all margaret meat on you here, but there are cultures out there where humiliation is seen as a form of entertainment.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: I understand Germany was really uh the leader in this, as in so many other interesting areas.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: In fact, the Germans actually have, as as they do for many things, a wonderful word for humiliation that really kind of I think gets to the root of it.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: Their word for humiliation is Ernie de Grun.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: I feel humiliated saying it even.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: And actually, they have a name for Ted Cruz, they call him Ruck Gratzloser Worm, which I am told means spineless worm, but I I don't know that that's really true.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: But I also see where, as part of the lie, you need to leave the smallest amount of doubt that you aren't lying.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: You don't want people to believe that you're lying, right?
19:08
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: That's a but it's pretty advanced lying, if you ask me.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: I I think I always kind of gave it away.
19:14
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I should stick with simpler lies.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, that's why I don't play poker because I give it away.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at my cards like big eye, oh, you got nothing.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: Or I'm looking like the the smile, oh, oh, you got two pairs, don't you?
19:27
SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean they could tell.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and the Kennedy thing, I just don't know if I could get away with that.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: I think I'll stick to things like you know, they're eating the dogs, stuff like that.
19:36
SPEAKER_02: Those are lies that they're easy to remember and they sort of sound believable.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: They didn't really initially sound believable, but I guess if if they keep re if you kept repeating it enough, it it will.
19:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, and Jeff, think about this too.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: If you're thinking of lies going forward, Kennedy assassination 61 years ago.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: How many people are you really going to be able to point to and say, yes, now you could use their father, like the cruise thing, you could you could use their father, but you know, you're gonna run out of people to point to.
20:05
SPEAKER_01: Dogs, they're always dogs.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: Every generation has dogs, right?
20:09
SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: It's a self-regenerating conspiracy.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: You can just keep it going.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: You know the conspiracy that JFK Jr.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: actually runs the government, oh, yeah, and it's not really dead.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: So that's a way to update the Kennedy assassination.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, you have something a little more current, which I think really works.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: So I was so upset about something Congress did.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: I was gonna write JFK Jr.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: and tell him that he needs to do something different, but I digress.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: Funny we should talk about lying to people and blaming people and scapegoating people who can't fight back or are not able to fight back.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Chapter 10 discusses those rare times when it can backfire.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: It's not foolproof.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: That chapter, again, decently long title, is titled I Never Said That.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: But even if I did, people are talking about it and I'm just repeating it.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: That's a way to lie about the lie, and then you can deny any accountability for it.
21:04
SPEAKER_01: And you could actually even take that a step further.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: You could say, you know, I never said that, even if I did, people are talking about it, I'm just repeating it, and it's not true, but if it is, it's no big deal.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: You can embellish it even a little, right?
21:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:16
SPEAKER_02: I I think the problem with that, and and maybe with a little practice you can get away with it, is if you're gonna start blaming other people to be a part of the lie or say that they told you that, you need to have those people under your control.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: They need to be people who you know will support you, you know, like maybe a a TV network or a political party or the Supreme Court, and then there's always JD Vance because he'll he'll pretty much support anything you say as long as there's some gain to him.
21:45
SPEAKER_01: So absolutely.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: Jeff, one of the problems though is we don't all have an amoral sociopathic stooge to promote the lies and deflect them from us, make us look honest.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: So, in other words.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Where's our JD Vance?
22:01
SPEAKER_02: So true.
22:02
SPEAKER_02: But before we go on, I do have to uh compliment JD for his support of the lie about eating dogs.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm so impressed that he actually admitted.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: So this is where you kind of put in the truth with a lie, but it's hard to separate them.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: But he admitted that he promoted the lie to highlight a bigger issue, which is, I think, is honorable.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: You know, I completely understand that.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: And even if you end up ruining some people's lives for the good of society, to make your point, you know, it's the kind of courage that I think we need more of in this in this world, the ability to do the wrong thing and hurt people to make a point just to get elected.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: You know, and not to go all Jeremy Bentham on you, but you know, we he is talking the greatest good for the greatest number.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: And in that case, in the case of that lie, the greatest number was he damaged thousands of people, but he promoted himself.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: The numbers balance.
23:02
SPEAKER_02: And I don't I don't think he was actually the first one to come up with that idea.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, he he did not start that strategy.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: Don't forget the governors of Texas and Florida.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: They scooped up people, they trafficked them, let's say.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: I I think that's fair, a fair statement.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: Sent them to other states, and they did that all to stand up for a greater cause.
23:24
SPEAKER_01: So there again, greater good for the greater number.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: Bentham would say, Well, yes, you damaged hundreds of people, thousands probably, you know, between you know the peop the recipients and the people they shipped and everything might be thousands, but they slightly bettered their chance of re-election.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: And the greater cause was because they they hate immigrants, they hate foreigners.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: JD just took that and and just you know improved it a little bit, polished it.
23:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, they say that nothing is that's invented as original, you know, it all comes from something else.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: Right.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm sure if JD had been governor of Louisiana, say he would have been on board from the beginning with that kind of a strategy.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: And oh, absolutely.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: I would do that, but Steve, I'm still a little nervous about getting caught in a lie.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: Uh, does the author say it's anything that always works, that you can always get away with?
24:17
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't really, because he says any lie can backfire, but he does list some subjects you should never think twice about using when lying.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: But I mean it's this is almost like the scapegoat Olympics here.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: You know, he he's got these.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: There are certain subjects that are always fair game to scapegoat.
24:35
SPEAKER_02: Let me guess.
24:35
SPEAKER_01: Because I think I know where you're I think you got you got at least one of them.
24:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think I do.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: I think you do.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: Black Lives Matter.
24:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh I'm thinking that's probably one.
24:44
SPEAKER_02: And it probably begins with Black Lives Matter and ends with Antifa.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: Well, there's another one.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: Another one that I was sure you were gonna get.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, was it are you talking gays or Jews?
24:56
SPEAKER_02: Because yeah, both of them are interchangeable, both could work or Jewish gays, Jewish gays, yeah, even more, right?
25:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're on the right track.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but you know, you know, gays gays is not what it used to be.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean, hey, 20 years ago, yes, perfect scapegoat.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: That doesn't work as well.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: You know what works, you know what has taken the place?
25:12
SPEAKER_01: Trans.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: Trans is the new gay.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: Makes sense.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: So the nice thing is, too, you you don't have to limit yourself to just one.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: You can mix them up and you can create all kinds of things, you can throw in the FBI, CIA, Justice Department.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: In fact, you could really you could put them into like a like a Dairy Queen blender and combine them, and you could come out with the FBI is being pressured by the Jews to send kids to public schools so they get free lunches, and the lunches turn them into trans between fifth and sixth period.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: See, see, res resulting in changing the weather.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I absolutely, absolutely.
25:49
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
25:49
SPEAKER_02: Now I get it.
25:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh, I think this makes total sense to me.
25:54
SPEAKER_02: Uh, abortion is another one that I think that used to be a good category, but right, you know, isn't as much anymore.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: So, but I do know that you know, I think it's been diminished because so many of those abortions are when the kids are like two and three years old, and so that just you know, it just doesn't it doesn't have the same impact that it used to, you know.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: And whenever there's an issue to talk about, always inject children into the discussion.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's you know, it's always doing it for the children, but not a gay child, you know.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, you're doing it for the children, so you can do any horrible thing and say, Well, I'm doing it for the children.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: I feel more educated and more qualified to lie now, at you know, since we've gone through this, uh are there are there any other words of wisdom that this book can give us?
26:38
SPEAKER_01: His main point, and of course, like any writer that wants you to buy the book, waits till the end and then kind of hides it.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: But the main point is when you lie, you never admit that you've lied.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: And just keep doing it, do a ton of it.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: The more you lie, the better.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: And see, if you admit the point, he says, and then he goes on to say, hey, if you admit that you lied, then people are gonna question other things you've said, and it unravels like a cheap sweater.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: I know exactly what you're talking about.
27:09
SPEAKER_02: I actually saw I was watching this movie the other night, The Guide for the Married Man.
27:13
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you ever saw that.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: It was with the Robert Years ago.
27:17
SPEAKER_02: I had the mumps.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: I had the mumps one day in like 1972, and I stayed home and watched it.
27:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I remember the goofy shirt.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
27:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm sure the whole audience is is no what it knows what I'm talking about.
27:28
SPEAKER_02: But anyways, Joey Bishop, who also know what he knows.
27:31
SPEAKER_02: Great guy.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh, guys.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: There was a scene in that movie where Joey is in bed with another woman and his wife walks in.
27:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, shut up.
27:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and she's like, How dare you?
27:42
SPEAKER_02: What are you doing?
27:43
SPEAKER_02: And he says, I don't know what you're talking about.
27:45
SPEAKER_02: And he slowly gets dressed, and she gets dressed, and she's like, You're cheating on me.
27:50
SPEAKER_02: You're here with the woman.
27:50
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you're talking about.
27:52
SPEAKER_02: And I don't see a woman, and he keeps getting dressed, and then eventually the woman leaves and he's completely dressed, and his wife is kind of second guessing.
28:01
SPEAKER_02: Did I see what I thought I saw?
28:03
SPEAKER_02: And that's kind of what happened with January 6th, don't you think?
28:06
SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: And you know, Jeff, speaking of old movies that I watched when I had mumps, I I had mumps a lot, I guess, as a kid.
28:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
28:14
SPEAKER_01: But old movies I wish I'd paid more attention to that old Ingrid Byrd movie, Gaslight, you know?
28:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: Because gaslighting, really kind of a new name, it's a new name for a phenomenon that's been going on forever, probably.
28:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's it's a really good name.
28:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think I never really understood what it meant, but now it's become so popular.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: And you know, you get accused of lying and cheating or whatever, and you just never admit it.
28:39
SPEAKER_02: You you just whatever you do, no matter what happens, you just say it didn't happen.
28:44
SPEAKER_02: And I'm thinking of trying that out next time I I get stopped for speeding when the officer says, you know, do you know how fast you were going?
28:50
SPEAKER_02: I wasn't going fast.
28:51
SPEAKER_02: I was going the speed limit.
28:52
SPEAKER_02: I was going to speed limit, officer.
28:54
SPEAKER_02: I have radar.
28:55
SPEAKER_02: Officer, I don't know what you're talking about.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: I was I was going 55 miles an hour.
28:59
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna try that out.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: In fact, I wasn't even on this street.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm only on the street.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: That's all right.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm only on the street because you pulled me over.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: I was actually on another street.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: That's I don't know how you did that.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: That's that's amazing that you could pull me over from another street.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't even here.
29:14
SPEAKER_02: So I think I'm ready for that.
29:15
SPEAKER_01: I really like this book.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: I thought it really gave a lot of insights, and I wish we knew who had sent it in, but I'm gonna give a chance to read it when it comes out.
29:24
SPEAKER_01: I think it's publication date is uh January 6th.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: Look at that.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
29:30
SPEAKER_01: Wow, so that's a way to wait.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: That's that's a nice tie-in, I think.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, and Jeff, you know, even though we don't really know who wrote this book, there's a P.O.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: box where it was sent from.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: We can send it to General Delivery, Palm Beach, whatever, author of lying book, you know, Art of the Lie.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: I think we should send him some stuff because I'm assuming it's a him because uh, you know, this is this kind of has a male feel to it, you know.
29:54
SPEAKER_01: The whole lying bit kind of seems more male, perhaps.
29:57
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: But I think we should send him some gifts.
30:00
SPEAKER_01: So, Johnny, what do we have for whoever he is?
30:05
SPEAKER_00: Right, Steve?
30:06
SPEAKER_00: It's no lie that our anonymous guests will be able to control the weather anytime they like with the new Bernstein space laser from Echad.
30:14
SPEAKER_00: No Bernstein confusion with this baby.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Just plug it in and enjoy eternal summer.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe a powdery snow for that fun-filled action-packed ski trip.
30:24
SPEAKER_00: Perfectly safe for most kids and a lot of varieties of pets.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: You'll never need to read a weather report again.
30:31
SPEAKER_00: Appropriation station's latest acquisition, the Bernstein Space Laser Weather Kit from Mikad, where you are number one.
30:40
SPEAKER_00: And to turn that lying into dollars and cents, we'll send you absolutely free and without any academic obligation a laminated yet hastily printed college course from the Barron School of Business.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: You'll learn business tactics the smart people use, such as how to intimidate employees and suppliers without consequences, how to deny overtime pay already earned, and most important of all, how to get people to work for you without paying them a thing.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: We'll even throw in one of the graduate courses on new and persistent ways to ignore cease and desist letters.
31:13
SPEAKER_00: All from the Barron School.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: In studying fiefdoms since 2017.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: And least but certainly not last, you'll receive the home version of the Stephen Jeff Show now with special gold tint.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: At$8 value, available in stores for$379.95.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: This has been a Foundation Scam production in association with Tommy Flanagan Media.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: Write us a review while you're there too.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: This is Johnny speaking.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't think lying is a good way to live.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: I believe in honesty.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: I've told Steve's mom everything.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, not about the prison time, it would have just upset her.
31:59
SPEAKER_00: But I may have made my career sound a little more interesting by leaving out that 20 year skin to the traveling carnival.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't really tell her about all my marriages.