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162: Want Success? Start by Decluttering Your Mindset · Harder Than Life

• 0:07
  I'm Kelly Siegel, and this is Harder Than Life, a podcast about self-love, self-awareness, business, and health. We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple, practical advice you can start using today. Let's get living.
• 0:23
  HTL Nation, welcome back to the show. It's your boy, Kelly Siegel, and you already know what time it is. First of all, let me say this. I appreciate your showing up today because what we're diving into could change everything for you. Right now, the world is loud. Fears everywhere. Distraction is the default. Just look around and look at the world.
• 0:49
  Look at the headlines and everybody's pointing at the fingers trying to get things, trying to get you to look over here. Same thing with social media. But the truth, you don't rise to the level of your dreams. You fall to the level of your mindset. James Allen said it best. You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.
• 1:15
  Let that sink in for a second. You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. I like to say, wherever you go, there you are. Meaning you take you with you. Today, I'm giving you the blueprint to optimize your thinking, weaponize your mindset, and perform at levels most people never reach. If you're done playing average and ready to start leading from the front,
• 1:43
  Let's get after it. First of all, I wanna start off with understanding the mindset. Mindset isn't just a personal development buzzword. It's your internal operating system. Here's how it breaks down. There's a fixed mindset versus growth mindset. Growth says you can evolve. Fixed says you're stuck. Which one you choose determines everything. Keep in mind, a lot of us like to say we have a growth mindset, but if you're doing the same thing over and over, if you're on life's merry-go-round,
• 2:13
  That's a fixed mindset. You got to step out of that comfort zone. There's abundance versus scarcity thinking. Stephen Covey says this. Scarcity hoards. Scarcity.
• 2:24
  Abundance creates one fears, the other multiplies. Again, most of us like to think we're in an abundant mindset, but you can just look around, look at your decisions, and very easily tell which one you're at. I myself fall into scarcity thinking. When I get nervous, when I get imposter syndrome, it happens, it does happen. That's when I start reminding myself, ooh, Siegel, you're just falling into scarcity thinking. And,
• 2:53
  It usually comes with fear and scarcity. The opposite, love and abundance. So there's also creator versus victim mentality. You're either writing your life story or you're waiting for someone else to. Right now, burnout is spiking, especially with remote work. Why? Because people feel powerless. That's not a workload problem.
• 3:18
  It's a mindset problem. Henry Ford said, whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Mindset is a choice daily relentlessly. Now keep in mind, people, we're always talking about this work-life balance. It has nothing to do with that. It has everything to do with the physical mastery and mental fitness. It's your physical and mental balance that means everything.
• 3:47
  I've recorded podcasts on the physical. You hear me talk about it all the time. It is not to be joked with. But when you get those equal, where your work on yourself is both physical and mental, in the same capacity, you will develop equanimity
• 4:02
  And you will not be asking, how do I do a work-life balance? Because everything will already be in balance. Here's how I optimize my mindset. And I teach this in the Harder Than Life coaching program. So if you want more, reach out to me and just go to coaching.harderthanlife.com and find out more and you can get all deep dive with me. We have one-on-one, we have group coaching. It's literally the mindset to me is much harder than the physicality.
• 4:30
  but they're one in the same. So there are five steps that I do. And these are gonna be outlined in the Happier Than Life book, but I'm gonna give you it for free right now, real simple, real raw. Guard your inputs. Negative news, toxic people, garbage content, non-negotiable, off-limits.
• 4:52
  Just this morning, I literally grabbed my phone and started taking in negativity and I'm off keel today. So I literally guard my energy, my ecosystem with my life. Even if I'm around negative people who start, listen, misery loves company. And so people love to commiserate. I just don't have time for it. There's nobody stopping you in this world.
• 5:21
  And it doesn't matter who's the president. It doesn't matter what's going on in the economy. It doesn't matter if there's a recession. You can win. But man, does negative freaking sell fast. So number one is guard your inputs with your life because your life does depend on it.
• 5:37
  Number two, daily mental training, meditation, breathwork, affirmations, the gym for your brain. Literally, I know that sounds weird, but like I said, the equanimity. If I work out, I listen to a podcast, I'm taking notes and it just allows me to release stress. And then I come back home and I do my journal work right off the bat. So mental training is meditation, breathwork, affirmations in the gym for your brain.
• 6:07
  number three surprised I took so long to say this one guys gratitude and a growth mindset growth practice it keeps you focused on what's real and what's next remember focus on the positives there's enough negative out there you could sit there I did it this morning on my gratitude walk
• 6:26
  I'm not far enough along. We lost a bunch of followers because we're turning over. We're going down a new path, a more authentic, aligned path. So we're kind of losing a few people. We're shedding a little bit to grow to the next level. And I remind myself where I'm at and what got me here and all the hard work. I've said it in the past, believe in invisible progress.
• 6:48
  So again, number one, guard your inputs. Number two, mental training, daily mental training. Number three, gratitude. And number four, do hard stuff. Every time you choose discomfort, your mindset compounds. Now, I'm not telling you what to do, but you could see all these people doing these ice baths. For me, it's the 500 workouts.
• 7:12
  literally the hardest thing I've ever done. I want to quit. I do full disclosure, but I put it out here and y'all hold me accountable. So that's why I do it. A little cheat sheet, a little pro tip, by the way, put it out there and let everybody hold you accountable. That's why people say, don't tell anybody till it's done because then you can recant. So do hard stuff daily.
• 7:34
  For me, it's literally my just daily routine is hard. There's nothing easy about my life except the benefits that I get from it. The peace, the clarity, and the freedom. And then number five is relentless solution focused. Stop rehearsing the problem, stop rehashing the problem, stop getting with your friends and commiserating about the problem.
• 7:56
  and start rehearsing solutions. Andy Vercela says it best, you either control your mind or it controls you. Boom! Thanks Andy. Peak performance doesn't have fewer problems. They have better mindsets to solve them. And let me add, not only they have better mindsets, they have better habits, rituals, and ways to not let it spiral out of control.
• 8:22
  I do not have bad days. I have bad moments and they're not even bad. They're just where the adversary jumps into my head and tries to tell me some fake news. Here's some traps that sabotage performance.
• 8:39
  Man, do we all do this. Negative self-talk. It rewires your brain for defeat. Just don't do it. No negative vampires allowed. If somebody walks up to you and they're starting negative, say, hold on, I'm not available for this. I apologize. I do want to hear you, but it just sucks the life out of me. The second part is comparison game.
• 9:05
  Man, am I feeling this today. That's the word. I'm recording back-to-back episodes. And the last episode, I couldn't remember what it was. Comparison is the thief of joy. Instagram isn't real life. Stay in your lane. Work your program. I am looking at people that I love dearly that seem to be further ahead than me.
• 9:29
  I celebrate them and I stay in my lane and I work my own program, my own journey. I have my own battles I'm working on. Again, comparison is the thief of joy. Everybody is battling something. Waiting for motivation. Waiting for motivation.
• 9:47
  I used to say these things, this is just guys, if there's kids in the car, please, he who hesitates masturbates. It was a little thing that my best friend in college used to tell me. It's what he would say at the bar to motivate us to go talk to women, is if you hesitated, if you're waiting, you'd go home alone. So,
• 10:10
  Waiting for motivation, discipline is greater than motivation, always. Pro tip, keep your tenure goal, your life's goal, your why in your mind's eye all the time, and you won't wait for motivation. And then finally, the victim mentality. No one's coming to save you. I assure you, victims never win, never.
• 10:37
  It just doesn't serve you. So just move on. And here's how you fix all of those things. Affirmations. Shout out to my boy, Ed Milet. Tell your brain who you are or it'll believe anything. I heard a quote and I'm not sure where I heard it from, but we've all heard, I'll believe it when I see it. But there's a pun on it. It was, you'll see it when you believe it.
• 11:06
  You'll see it when you believe it. So in your heart, when you believe you are worthy, it will appear. So daily affirmations, I am worthy, I am loved, I am okay, I am the best at what I do. We're so quick on the negative stuff. So I can't do that, or this is just the way I am. Flip it on its head, put it positive. Celebrate small wins. Stack those daily victories, that's momentum. I write those in my journal.
• 11:35
  You know, today I recorded, I'm recording two podcasts, doing a bunch of content. Because there's certain days I get my teeth kicked in and I feel like I got nothing accomplished. And I feel this big. Thoughts are magical lies. I write things down. I do a very end of the day gratitude of what I'm grateful that I accomplished that day.
• 11:54
  Action beats motivation. Show your brain you're serious. Motivation will follow. Even the best athletes in the world talk about mindset. Why? Because even the strongest body can't outperform a weak mind. Because look at David Goggins for this stuff. This guy, even though he's intense,
• 12:15
  He's the master of this stuff. So we all wanna change our mindset, that's what we're here. Change your environment. Easiest and simplest way to do it. Change your mindset, change your environment. Upgrade your circle, hang with killers, not complainers. Full disclosure, back in the day when I first started working out, and even to this day, I work out with people stronger than me.
• 12:39
  My friend group are all multi-millionaires and even billionaires. I am the brokest of the group. Don't care. I was the weakest of the group once. I am.
• 12:51
  grow, I push myself to be harder by hanging out with these killers. Declutter your space, clean space, clear mind, faster execution. I am guilty of this sometimes. I get a little bit of clutter. If you can see my desk here where I'm doing this podcast, there's notes, there's several remotes. There's my lucky little, I'm 49 years old, I need...
• 13:16
  Reading glasses now. That was vulnerable a little bit. But yeah, I can't see straight close up. So after I'm done here, I will declutter my space. Clears your mind. Trigger positive habits. This is a big one. Use playlists, vision boards, or alarms to reset your state. We all have that one song that when you play it, you feel 10 feet tall.
• 13:45
  One of them, you can't help but feel great. What is the Rick Ross? Every day I'm hustling. I don't know who you are. Even if you love country music or classical, you hear that, you just start thinking big time. Another one was, I can't remember what the name is. I'm on a new level. That one, woo, I hear that come on. Use it to your advantage. Tony Robbins says, energy flows where attention goes. Feed that positive energy. Okay.
• 14:15
  If your circle's draining you, your mindset doesn't stand a chance. Your environment should be lifting your energy, not draining it. You've all heard. If your circle's draining, you don't have a circle. You have a cage. So how do you build a bulletproof mindset? You live it.
• 14:35
  Literally, I share with you guys every single day of my stories, all of the draining work that I do. Not just the highlights, the lowlights. And lately, there have been a lot of them. But you know what comes after lowlights? The wins. It's life's ups and downs. It's like the heartbeat of your heart. If you've ever seen, you're hooked up to one of those machines, beep.
• 15:04
  Beep. That's what life is. Because if it flatlines, you're dead. So you got to live a bulletproof mindset. You live it daily. It's by doing hard things daily. Discipline is a muscle. It must be trained. Chase discomfort because that's where you grow. Compete only with your potential.
• 15:25
  Tune out the noise. Build your own scoreboard. Remember, it's not a competition. All you're trying to be is better than the person you were yesterday. Stay patient and aggressive.
• 15:39
  Long-term vision with daily fire. Mark Devine says, feed the courage wolf. Every day, every choice, you're either feeding fear or feeding courage. The heart of the life mindset is built with action, reinforced with results, and earned with effort. The heart of the life mindset is built with action, reinforced with results, earned with effort.
• 16:04
  Oh, man. So here's a challenge. 30 days. This is a hard one, folks. I wrote this out specifically for me. 30 days. I want you to no complaining. Starve the negativity loop. It is so hard because people are going to walk up to you, which is the second one. No gossip. Protect your energy. Somebody walks up and says, did you hear about Susie?
• 16:29
  Nope, and I don't want to. No negative self-talk. Become your own hype man. A lot of times I'll say to myself, oh, you're just tired, you're doing too much. No, no, no, no, just getting started. And then five minutes of visualization daily. Train your mind to lead your life. Guys, I do this in a mirror.
• 16:51
  wow, I look at myself in the mirror and I look at my left eye. If you look at me, look at my left eye. And I tell me, I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. And I set a timer. It sounds hokey, but it works. I get done and I feel 10 feet tall. And then finally, say three things that you're grateful for every morning. Stay in that abundance mindset. Okay.
• 17:16
  This is simple, this is powerful, this is how you build momentum that transforms you.
• 17:22
  Your mind is your steering wheel that either grabs it or sets it adrift. Again, email me at kelly.harderthanlife.com and tell me what mindset upgrade you're committing to. I'll send you a copy of the Harder Than Life book because Happier Than Life is coming out soon. If you want more, go to the aforementioned coaching.harderthanlife.com and look at our membership. You get more of this stuff.com.
• 17:48
  day in and day out. And we're just getting warmed up, Heart of Life Nation. Let's go. I thank you so much for tuning in today. If you've got any value and you know a friend that could use this, please share it with them and make sure that you're following us so you can get all these updates. These Thursday episodes, I work really hard to take notes and bring you what I'm feeling to share vulnerability with you.
• 18:15
  I'm still uncomfortable doing them, but I'm getting better and better and leaning into it. Again, everything I'm teaching you, I'm living it real time. Thanks for playing along. Until next time, be harder than life. Please rate and share this podcast. I'm active on all social platforms and love to hear from my Seagull supporters.
• 18:34
  Each and every episode is sponsored by my company, National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with. Delivering peace of mind with technology every day, even simplifying cybersecurity. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info. Until next week, be harder than life.