Latest / Every Pawprint! Every Story! / We Learned To Let Grief Happen And Keep Love Close

Transcript

We Learned To Let Grief Happen And Keep Love Close · Every Pawprint! Every Story!

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Hello, everybody.
0:01
SPEAKER_01: This is Dan Popovic, your host of Every Paw Print, Every Story.
0:07
SPEAKER_01: For new listeners to this podcast, this is a weekly conversation space where people honor pets they've lost, celebrate the joy pets bring, and support one another through pet grief.
0:21
SPEAKER_01: Each episode centers on a guest memories, the ritual that keeps those pets present in daily life, and the lessons of love and loss that pets teach us.
0:32
SPEAKER_01: The goal with this podcast is to inspire, guide, and support each other.
0:38
SPEAKER_01: And I'm excited today to welcome uh a very, very special guest to the show, um, Terry Beckwa.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: Terry, good morning.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: How are you?
0:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm fine, Dan.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much for inviting me to the podcast.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and it was uh, you know, I'm excited to hear more of the story, Terry.
0:56
SPEAKER_01: Just for the listeners to know, Terry had shot me a note on LinkedIn.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: Um, wanted to talk about the little toy Yorkie Jazzy.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: So definitely want to hear about uh Jazzy's story.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: Is is Jazzy still with us today, or have they gone on to the Rainbow Bridge?
1:13
SPEAKER_00: She passed on some years ago, and it did take, you know, like your book, it did take us a year at least to completely recover before we got another fur baby.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, right right now we've got three fur babies.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: Uh we have a 19-year-old whose combination of um uh Dotson and a Pomeranian.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh, she was a rescue, she was lost in South Carolina, and we actually got her, and we've had her for a long time.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: She shows more pep than the other two.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: I've got a Kevlar King Charles, she's eight, and then I've got uh a new, the newest edition, and she's four now, but she's a cap-poo, and she's a love of our life as well.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: And she was the one that basically um helped us get through the hard times.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, so you're getting through the hard times with Jazzy.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: So um with Jazzy, when we first got her, we had already had one Yorkie, and the people that we bought her from, or got her her from, um, they had a uh basic the run of a litter that wasn't real healthy, and they had the bottle feeder and they knew our history.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: And so they called my wife Sandy and they offered her the chance to take Jazzy in, um, same thinking and letting us know ahead of time she may not last.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: But we got her and she lasted nine years.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: Um and she was just unbelievable, you know, a little thing.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: She'd fit in a teacup.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, she was so small, and she would always sleep at my under my arm at night, and you know, and she um last day she was alive, my wife had taken her for a walk, and she was just prancing and having a good time and didn't want to come home and was out, and everybody was saying, Oh, what a nice little puppy, and she said, Oh now, she's nine years old, you know.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: And so she got back fine to the house, and that night she uh during the night in bed, she woke me up, she stood up and fell over.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: It just fell over on her side, and then I kind of picked her up and petted her a little bit, she kind of came out of it, and then she lay down, she did it again, and that has concerns.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: So we we took her to an emergency doctor, they couldn't find anything, and we weren't happy with the results, so we went to another one, and they said her liver had gone, and the poisons from that were actually doing that, so we had no other choice.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: She was suffering, so we had to put her under, but we loved her so much, and we just couldn't bring ourselves.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: We my wife and I agreed not to to get another another pet until we could feel like right same love.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: So it was a year later, it took it, it took roughly a year to kind of get over that grief and just to kind of recover.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: And and my wife is an absolute, absolute dog lover and pet all pet lover.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: So it was more I think it was tougher on her, uh, because I would have liked to have gotten one sooner and let her, because I I know she would have fallen in love right away with it, and you know, but uh it it took her time to get over that.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: And and just this is another context.
4:25
SPEAKER_00: The other um dog that we had, um, she had died in my wife's arms.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: So and that was unfortunate.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: So she had both her Yorkes had passed in a relatively short period of time, and so you know that kind of compounded things as well.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: I think kind of like you were talking about in your book, how things you know happen.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it's just do it, but now we've got these, and we've been concerned about the oldest one, but she just doesn't seem to want to go anywhere, you know.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: So, and and she's good, she's my shadow, she follows me everywhere.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm worried about her.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: The the well, yeah, we'll we'll come back to that one.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: And you tell me that that's the 19-year-old one.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, now with with Jazzy, I'm I'm curious.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, so were you able to name her?
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Well you mean when we got her?
5:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, we were.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: What what in what was the inspiration behind the name?
5:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm always curious with, I mean, if if we have choices and we come up with names for the pets, what was the what was the so the dog's names we have right now?
5:36
SPEAKER_00: Let's let's go through that.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: So one's cocoa.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Okay, the other's honey.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm sensing a theme, and the other is ginger.
5:46
unknown: Okay.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: So condiments, I guess.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep, love it.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: So jasmine, uh, you know, jasmine, who was actually jasmine, but we nicknamed her Jazzy.
5:57
SPEAKER_02: Was love it.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: Was was she Jazzy?
5:59
SPEAKER_02: Was he sparkly?
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, she was she was fast, she was something else.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: She was all full of life.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, you sometimes you say, uh, I I love people that live their life like it should be every day.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: That's that was her.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: That was her.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: She loved to play, and it didn't matter, big dog, little dog, whatever.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she thought she ruled the house.
6:24
SPEAKER_01: Was was there a um was there like a specific fun routine that you might have done with her on a on a daily basis?
6:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't know, you know, taking her for a walk, and then the last mile she's expecting to sprint or you know, like maybe a banana routine.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: Was there something that you just that she really looked forward to doing?
6:45
SPEAKER_00: Walking, my wife walking or she she loved to walk.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: My wife used to get out a lot more and and walk, and and that was their routine that she loved to do.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: And of course, the way my wife treats all three dogs, they couldn't wait to get home because they know when they got home they're getting a nice treat.
7:00
SPEAKER_00: So and my wife's Italian, so she thinks the dogs need to eat three times a day full meals.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: So and then um little Jazzy, I think you had mentioned in the in the start of the the show that was this the one that you were saying that was really tiny, was bottle fed, and there were some current some concerns from the folks that you got her from.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they they warned us that you know they had to nurse her because she was so small and they weren't sure she was going to make it.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: And they wanted to caution us that the life expectancy uh, you know, she may not get past a year, which was okay with us.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: We we took her in, but um she she proved to be pretty stable.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, she she lasted all the time, and I think having the other dogs helped her to uh play.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: She wasn't by herself, so she always had the other uh dogs to play with as well.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: Gotcha.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: Um but yeah, but no, that and that's phenomenal.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: So that you know that they were saying expected to last maybe a year, but you got you know nine years.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, nine, nine years.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: We got a lifetime uh uh of her.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: And like I said, she um you know, she she was my buddy.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I had to be careful rolling over at night.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: She's so small.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: She'd always she'd always get up into my armpit, and that's where she would lay to stay warm.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so like every night sleeping in bed with you and you're gonna be able to do it.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, our dogs, our dogs don't sleep anywhere else.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I get crowded off the bed several times.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: So uh my wife, she just, you know, we try and put them in a uh, you know, uh uh thing, you know, for them.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: No, they don't last long.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: They're in the bed before ending.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: Love it.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: Um so then like it, so it took a it was about a year.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: Um so I'm I'm kind of curious, and this is really for the the listeners on this this show.
8:55
SPEAKER_01: Um, were there any like specific things you guys did from a healing process to get over with it, or was it just really a thing of time?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Thing of time.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, and of course, the pictures that we we my wife was prolific about taking pictures and you know, setting reminders that pop up, and you know, we'll never forget her.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I mean, we never forget any of our our fur babies, but for her, uh, she was our littlest and and everything.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: So we both every time one pops up, she goes, Well, come look at this.
9:26
SPEAKER_00: And so, and she used to dress her up.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: My wife, she'd take pictures all the time.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: So she would dress.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: It was Christmas, of course, Christmas stuff.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: It was Halloween, it was a Halloween costume.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that was like her little baby doll.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: Did you guys did you guys take her to a lot of places with you, or or did you take her any funding?
9:45
SPEAKER_00: Not just her of any of our dogs, but yeah, she she where we went, they went, she went.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and my wife, you know, we had real, real small like little carrying case, uh, take her on flights if we went anywhere.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: And oh, of course, um, you know, as long as they fit under the the um chair head of you, you know, which she did, but of course, that's not where she stayed during the flight.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: My wife got shooed out several times, you know, put the dog back in the cage.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: So that's funny.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: She went everywhere.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so it sounds like okay, so got to take her on some vacation, some fun vacation trips.
10:20
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
10:21
SPEAKER_01: Um, so let's let's look at let's talk at the the three new ones today.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: Um and you've got one, one of them is 19.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: How old was she when you got her?
10:34
SPEAKER_00: They estimated she was around two.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, and they they weren't sure exactly what breed she was, but we went ahead and run Dan some um um tests on her to find out, uh, you know, DNA tests on her to find out exactly what her heritage was and that because she's such a good dog and beautiful dog.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: She's you know, blonde hair, blonde eyelashes, um, and just just a real sweetheart.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, but we wanted to know in case we we ever cloned her or whatever.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: So we ran DNA on her, and that's where we found out she was uh kind of a long-haired Dotson and also the Pomeranian.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
11:10
SPEAKER_01: So uh how how big?
11:11
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I can't remember if you're gonna be.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: Uh she's last we just went to the vet yesterday to get her shot on something, and she's 16 pounds.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: So she's not too big.
11:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, she keeps pretty pretty much in that weight.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: She does right now, she does walkabouts.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: She, you know, being her age, she's getting hard of hearing and and vision, but she has a path now that she'll continue to walk.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: It drives us crazy, just keeps walking in circles all around the house.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: And then she has this path outside on the porch where she'll walk behind every all the furniture, and then she'll just keep doing it, going back and forth.
11:46
SPEAKER_00: And she does that constantly.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: And of course, she when she goes out in the yard, she walks the perimeter.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I think it's because of the vision and stuff, right?
11:54
SPEAKER_00: But she's she does Australian walkabouts.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: But 19, that's phenomenal.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, that is.
12:03
SPEAKER_00: They were surprised when they see her every time, you know.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you, of course, she's gotten louder about what she wants, too.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, when it's time to eat, I better be on time.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, because she'll let me know.
12:17
SPEAKER_01: She's the one that's so she's she's kind of the the alpha in their group, I'm assuming I'm assuming, being being older, and so she's gonna get a little bit more attention than the other two, not that the other two don't get enough attention.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, not actually.
12:32
SPEAKER_00: My wife plays favorites.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: The youngest one.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: It's always the youngest, it's it's the cabbapoo.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: Um, she she pampers the cabboo, but the and they know that she's the senior, so you know they they respect her.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: The uh middle dog really grew up a lot with with her, and so she kind of looks at her as her mother, and the cabbage looks at the cavalier king Charles as her mother, and I guess the oldest one's her, the grandma of the group.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's that's a very cool um dynamic, and then how how far apart in years?
13:11
SPEAKER_00: So 11 years between my oldest and the the Cavalier King Charles, and then there's four years between the Cavalier King Charles and the um Caboo.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: And to be honest, the reason we got the Caboo was we just didn't think the oldest was gonna be there much longer.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: And uh unfortunately, she's been as far as costs for vets and I mean she's been just really healthy all along, and you know, not much problem.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: The uh middle dog is where we've had a lot of health issues lately, and you know, a lot of the cost from surgeries and stuff.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: What's been some of that?
13:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's well, I can't believe how expensive it is.
13:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what's been some of the health issues?
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so the the middle one, there's a couple things with her.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: She um one surgery she had, we had a groomer that would come to the house because we used her before, and then one place went out of business, but she was a younger girl, and she actually dropped her and ended up damaging her left rear leg real bad.
14:16
SPEAKER_00: And so they had to go in and do surgery and and put a plate and pins in and all that, and that was thousands of dollars to do that.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: And then a few years after that, she had she started getting real lethargic and everything else, and we thought maybe it was from the leg, but we took her to an emergency room and they actually had to completely open her up and clean out her stomach, and they had to cut out a piece of the bowel that that looked like it was you know cancerous or had uh issues and was you know, kind of like do their dual denim type thing, and it was going bad.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: And after she had the surgery, she just came back to life and everything, too.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: But that was two major surgeries with her, yeah.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: And then uh the youngest one, uh, she's got cushions, so unfortunately.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Um, but and so she has tendency to get overweight, so we gotta walk her a lot more.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: Uh, but she's she's a character, she's she's a lively one too.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, talk about um that's really cool that um how you describe the three of them from uh a parenting perspective, the the kind of the the child, the mother, the grandmother.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: So that's that's kind of a cool so it sounds like they all three of them really get along and really love each other.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: Is that a and yeah, they do, and not initially, like when we we brought the new dog home, of course, the oldest one didn't want anything to do with her.
15:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, and of course she kept going tour because she's you know she couldn't understand why she's getting rejected or whatever, you know.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: But she was just kind of being the uh puppy, you know.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: Right.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: But now now, if any of the three are separated, oh they go crazy.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: Um there's a strong bond.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Um that's phenomenal between them, which is which is unbelievable.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: Uh, I mean they they want to be together, and they when that we get time to be together, Sandy and I, they want to be there, and it's just like as soon as they're near us, they all three crash, that's it, they're out, you know, and just more relaxed.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: So it is it is a peck.
16:18
SPEAKER_01: Right.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: Um, I wonder if it was also maybe the that early um entrance or entry and and bringing her home, if it was maybe like sense, right?
16:30
SPEAKER_01: Your older one might have had you know smell some strange sense on it, so she didn't want to we we kind of experienced that um with Marshall, and it sounds like you did a similar thing that um after we lost Marley, which yeah, as you mentioned, that that was the the inspiration behind the book, this podcast.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: But we we got another one to kind of keep him around, so it sounds like that was the main thing you were doing with the the the youngest one because you didn't know if the 19-year-old would still be with you.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, but he he wanted nothing to do with her in that first week, and yeah, uh it it was heartbreaking to kind of see that.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: But um the the three um I'm gonna call them the three stooges.
17:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you call them the three stooges.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: Three trillion mole, yeah.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm kind of curious, do they is there something like unique and different that just brings a smile to your y'all's heart or day that they may do differently, or or do they kind of just do the the same stuff?
17:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh, they do different things.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: The youngest dog, when she was uh pup growing up, um we had a bird, a young bird that fell into the yard, and she was letting me know there was something there, but she wouldn't hurt it or anything, and she wouldn't go near it.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: And of course, being a you know a young bird, you if you touch it or whatever else, the the parent, you know, bird wouldn't take care of her, but right she let me know what I put gloves on, whatever else, and we had a nest in the one tree.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: So I told her, I said, I'm gonna put the birdie back with its mama.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: So actually, we I I picked it up, I was finally able to get it to get up into the um tree, and then went back into the nest.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: And it actually comes to back to visit and everything else.
18:18
SPEAKER_00: And anytime she sees the bird, she starts barking at them, and and ended up her favorite toys are these toy geese, toy, small toy geese.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, anytime a bird comes on TV or whatever else, or the birds start chirping, she's out there barking at them, and whatever else.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: So she cracks us up on that.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Uh, the middle one, she loves America's funny videos.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: She and I've never seen a dog watch TV like my Cavalier King Charles, and she will bug us, she knows the day, the hour, whatever else that show comes on, and everything else.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: And she will bug us to turn it on, and she will sit there and watch that whole show.
18:57
SPEAKER_00: Um that's funny, and of course, the uh the oldest one she cracks us up because we always have kind of like a blanket for her age, you know, and we always put her on it.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: And of course, she goes in there, and for an hour, she shapes the blanket and everything else, and then she'll just not lay in it.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, we're like and she does it at night too when you're trying to sleep, right?
19:18
SPEAKER_00: She tries to rearrange the blankets, but never sleeps in them after she rearranges them all.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of what's funny about her, and then the walkabouts.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: The walkabouts, right?
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: Um, now, are do you obviously with Jazzy?
19:31
SPEAKER_01: It sounded like um the wife took her out walking a lot.
19:34
SPEAKER_01: Does she do that with any one of the three?
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the youngest, of course.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: The younger two.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and I try and take the older one out because she likes to walk too.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: Matter of fact, a story about the oldest one is her and Jazzy used to walk together all the time.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: Um, and then after Jazzy passed, she knew the oldest one knew something was wrong.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: And so she went on a walk and she would not come home.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: And she took my wife all over the neighborhood, down alleys, all over.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: She was looking for her, yep.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: And it took, it took her, it wasn't just us that needed to heal, it was her as well.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm that's all that's amazing.
20:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm glad you shared that.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you actually mentioned that.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize maybe I missed that.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: I didn't realize so you okay.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: So you had her during that that year-long period of of having lost Jazzy.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: Um we wouldn't get another dog until um you know we got over it and you know, we were sure she was going to be okay.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: Um and we took her actually when we started looking for the next dog, we took her with us and um let her you know meet meet the dog that we were getting and everything else, and those two got along real good right from the very beginning.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: How so I'm I'm curious.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: So, how how long do you think it it took her to get over the loss of Jazz and about the same time of us, probably a year.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: And of course, of course, if if we if I say the name, her head snaps, you know, and um my wife's kind of like, you gotta spell it, you gotta spell it.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Right.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: It's like ice cream, gotta spell it.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: You can't.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: But so that how long, but so how long did did it go on that she, you know, that you just really sensed that she noticed the presence wasn't there and that she kept looking for her.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: That was immediately that she knew she wasn't there because they they were they were together for for a good while, a good number of years, um, during that period.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so it it she knew right away.
21:44
SPEAKER_00: It was the very next time they went on a walk, like I said, uh very next day almost, um, when my wife took the oldest uh on a walk and she just didn't want to come home.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: She just kept looking and looking.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: We uh you know, because of her past, she was lost for two years.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, she she was a rescue, the oldest one.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: And she knew she must be out there somewhere.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: It was is kind of interesting, you know, the fact that she understood being lost and she thought she was lost, not gone.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: So and uh finally I took her a little while to get over that and stop looking for.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: How long do you think that took?
22:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm curious.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Probably about six months or so.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Uh I mean, it's amazing what they do.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: It's you know, looking at the door every time they go for a walk, looking around, and you can tell what she's doing.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: You didn't and you didn't see any um that's yeah, that's yeah, we saw that same thing with Marshall after it wasn't right away with him.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: Um it was probably it took maybe a few days, and then you see him looking up the stairs like, okay, I'm used to her running down, and she's not running down, where is she?
22:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think it took him a couple of days just because you know, we we had the probably as you've mentioned, you know, they've gone through so much surgery in their their past too that he was used to her being gone a night or two, and then but not more than that.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: Um but yeah, to your point, it's amazing how they sense so did and so during that time you didn't see any decline in her health or anything.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, you just she didn't really her health didn't change, it was just she was just really kept looking.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: She was sad.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: She was had sad, but yeah.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: As she as we got the other dogs, she didn't do much more with the Cavic King Charles, my daughter.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: I mean, as far as being playful, but once we got the youngest one, you know, and there's a big difference between them two, all of a sudden she lit up, and you know, the little one kind of forced her to play more.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: So um her she didn't like her in the first time, but now that she's hard of hearing and singing, if she hears the little one barking, she barks.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: Just she don't know why, but she barks too.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, so they've actually gotten closer.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: And so also the youngest one will let me know, like if the dogs are let out, and we got a close-in backyard.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, they come in at different times, they don't all come in together.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: And um, the youngest one will let me know if she's still outside.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: She'll sit by the door and kind of bark, tell me that she wants in, you know.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: So they they're kind of close.
24:23
SPEAKER_01: That's fascinating when yeah, it sounds like the youngest one is keeping the older one young herself and around.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's phenomenal.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Yep, sure is.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: Sure is.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because even like eating, I've all the dogs, it they don't they don't growl.
24:39
SPEAKER_00: The only time they one growls is she's eat got a bone, and the other one wants that she doesn't want her to have it.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: But eating or anything else, if the one leaves her plate and comes over, they don't fight, they don't do anything, you know.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: In fact, the oldest one will step away to let the youngest ones eat her food.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: And I have to kind of watch it because I gotta make sure she's eating too.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: Right.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's almost like a mother with her, you know, kids, making sure the kids eat first, you know.
25:02
SPEAKER_00: This is kind of amazing.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
25:04
SPEAKER_01: So, okay, so you feed them all pretty much in the same room, same room, not two feet from each other, you know.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: And all I have to do is tell the children to to sit and wait until she was done.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: The oldest is done, because otherwise they'll go get it and they'll wait.
25:18
SPEAKER_00: And when she walks away, they'll walk over and eat what's left.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: Um that that's really cool from that aspect that they're they're eating together.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: Um now with going kind of going back to Jazzy, would you I'm kind of curious, and more so for the listeners, um did do you feel like her loss has was a profound impact on you that that was un wasn't you was unexpected, you didn't realize you would react that way.
25:52
SPEAKER_01: And and you know, would you say it was probably one of the most profound impacts of loss you've had in your life?
25:59
SPEAKER_00: It's one of them.
26:01
SPEAKER_00: Um I lost a daughter when she was 19, you know, and you can't compare that, right?
26:06
SPEAKER_00: So but it it was impactful too, losing her because you know, when your kids kind of grow up and go away from home and whatever else, you know, you kind of empty nesters, and and those fur babies kind of fill that that gap, you know, and that they become your your children.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: And so to lose one and to lose one that's close to you, it it it's it is heartbreaking.
26:29
SPEAKER_00: It it's you know, and the memory's still there.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, anytime we see a picture or Sandy has a uh bow she pulls out, and I remember her putting her in that bowl and taking a picture over, you know, because she was so small.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, things like that, the memories.
26:46
SPEAKER_00: You you know, you you never never forget them, um, and always think positive about it.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's the key thing.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, what what what love did they bring to you?
26:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, not the fact they're gone, but what did they bring with you?
26:57
SPEAKER_00: Matter of fact, we we keep we we've all of our dogs that we've had, you know, we had them cremated and we have the box.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: And we have a agreement between my wife and I that if either one of us passes, like if she passes, she'll uh be buried with the dogs.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: Nice, okay.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: With the with their boxes and stuff.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: Well done.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I was gonna ask you about what how you might have memorialized um yeah.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: They're in we've got them all in, they're all in on a shelf in my wife's uh closet, and she's got directions, which ones go with them, which one go with me.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: That's phenomenal.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I know we're getting close to the end of our segment today.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: Um what advice or recommendations would you give somebody else that you know maybe hasn't experienced the loss of a pet yet?
27:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, get go through the grieving process.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: Let it let it happen.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's it's gonna happen, you know.
28:00
SPEAKER_00: You you go through the stages, you know, sorrow, anger, whatever it may be, you know, and just help let yourself go through that and give yourself time, you know, and just remember the good things and and and talk, talk to people about it, talk to your spouse, talk to whoever, you know, your feelings.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: I I did work with one guy that long, long, long, long time ago who took off work because his dog had died.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: And of course, I wasn't as close to the pets because I wasn't around him as much as Sandy always was.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until much many years later that I really realized the impact.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: Uh, and and you've got to go through the grieving process, you know, laugh about the good times, you know, pitchers and other else, talk about it, and let yourself go through it.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: When you're ready, you know, don't be afraid to get another one, you know, because that's life, that's the cycle of life.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: Right.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, we're all getting to the age, a lot of us, to that could happen to us as well.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:58
SPEAKER_01: No, that uh that's that's probably a a great note to to end on.
29:04
SPEAKER_01: Um phenomenal advice.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: And I just, yeah, I wanted to I want to thank you today for sharing um these stories with us, um, Terry, and and for the listeners on this um podcast.
29:16
SPEAKER_01: If if you're hearing this for the first time, hopefully some of these stories bring some warmth, inspiration, guidance to your day.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: Um you know, each episode is again a reminder that grief and gratitude can coexist and that remembering is a form of love.
29:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, so again, thank thank you so much for uh for your time today, Terry.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you for having me and love to come back and give you an update on the other ones.
29:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we'll we'll definitely do that.
29:42
SPEAKER_01: So we'll we'll keep the the viewers, the listeners on the the podcast uh ready for another one.
29:49
SPEAKER_01: So don't go anywhere just yet.
29:51
SPEAKER_01: All right.