Latest / Let's Talk! An Our2Gens Podcast / 35 | Is She Wrong for Being Upset Her Fiancé Funds Another Woman's Lifestyle?

Transcript

35 | Is She Wrong for Being Upset Her Fiancé Funds Another Woman's Lifestyle? · Let's Talk! An Our2Gens Podcast

• 0:04
  Let's talk. Hello weirdos, welcome back and
• 0:07
  welcome to This is episode 35 I think.
• 0:10
  Wow, 35 y'all. I'm Trinity Grace, your Gen.
• 0:12
  Z host. And I'm your resident Gen.
• 0:15
  Xer, Danielle Mickey, Period. Make sure to like, comment, and
• 0:18
  subscribe since you're here. Thank you for being here.
• 0:20
  We're going to open up with our story submission like always.
• 0:23
  This one was titled Followed by a Stranger.
• 0:27
  Hi, at first I just want to let you know I absolutely love your
• 0:30
  podcast. You all are amazing.
• 0:33
  Love. Thank you.
• 0:35
  This story isn't long but it scared me and I can't get it out
• 0:38
  of my head today. 22, female. I was coming back home from my
• 0:43
  morning fitness. I don't have a car so I use
• 0:45
  public transport. I was waiting for my bus at a
• 0:48
  bus stop and then I saw a man around 40 walking out of another
• 0:52
  bus that had just arrived. It looked like he was going to
• 0:55
  leave the bus stop but then he saw me and winked at me.
• 0:59
  I didn't know how to react so I just sent him a little smile.
• 1:02
  He turned around and walked back in my direction then stopped
• 1:06
  right behind me and I could feel him staring.
• 1:09
  It was weird but I didn't think much of it.
• 1:11
  Again, when my bus arrived he followed me and got on all the
• 1:17
  way to my stop. He was standing next to me and
• 1:19
  staring at me. I was ignoring him not wanting
• 1:23
  to send any signals. Also, I texted my friends about
• 1:26
  the situation. I was hoping that it was just a
• 1:28
  coincidence and that he didn't want to get off at the same
• 1:31
  stop. Unfortunately it was when I left
• 1:35
  the bus he left with me and followed me.
• 1:39
  Then he started saying something to me but I had my headphones on
• 1:42
  and pretended I couldn't hear them.
• 1:44
  I went straight to a grocery shop, not my flat, to avoid
• 1:47
  staying alone with him and showing him where I lived.
• 1:50
  Very smart. Finally in the shop I noticed he
• 1:53
  stopped following me, so I walked around for a little while
• 1:56
  just to be sure and then I went home.
• 1:58
  Could it be just a coincidence? Is it my fault for smiling at
• 2:02
  him? Now I feel kind of bad because
• 2:04
  maybe his intentions weren't wrong, maybe he just wanted my
• 2:07
  number or something, but I'm not used to situations like this and
• 2:10
  it really scared me. Oh my God, I want go ahead.
• 2:14
  I want to say, First off, no, it's not your fault that you
• 2:16
  smiled at him. It's insane how we as women have
• 2:19
  to consider everything that we do.
• 2:21
  It's like, Dang, I have to like, gauge whether or not it's
• 2:24
  appropriate to smile to this guy because maybe he'll follow me
• 2:27
  home randomly one night. Like are you kidding me?
• 2:31
  It's not your fault. You did everything correct.
• 2:34
  You texted your friends where you were, what was happening.
• 2:36
  Great on you. You didn't go straight to your
• 2:38
  home, you went to the shop and you wandered around.
• 2:41
  You stayed in areas that had traffic so you weren't alone
• 2:45
  with him. You did everything correct.
• 2:47
  He was just being a creep and I'm sorry you had to go through
• 2:50
  that. And no, you didn't do anything
• 2:52
  wrong. You should be able to just like
• 2:54
  hi at someone or you should be able to ignore someone and you
• 2:57
  not have to worry about the the outcomes of your actions.
• 3:00
  You know what I mean? Like.
• 3:02
  I should be able to just go about my business.
• 3:04
  She gave him probably the corporate smile The right Like,
• 3:09
  OK, I know I acknowledge you staring at me.
• 3:11
  Creepy. Man, since you're being a creep.
• 3:13
  Exactly. And so I'm going about my
• 3:15
  business, I have my headphones in and people will be like, you
• 3:18
  know, why do you have your headphones in?
• 3:20
  You don't know what's going on. We always know what's going on.
• 3:22
  Always spatial awareness, situational awareness.
• 3:25
  It's like innate in women because we have to deal with
• 3:28
  this kind of thing our whole lives, our whole lives.
• 3:30
  So she was aware, but she was trying to pretend that she
• 3:32
  didn't see him, but he didn't get the hint.
• 3:35
  And that's the thing. And it's like, let me just keep
• 3:38
  going. Let me follow her, even if his
• 3:40
  intentions, which they were not, even if his intentions were
• 3:43
  good, he just wanted my number or something.
• 3:46
  He has to understand that what he's doing is making her
• 3:49
  uncomfortable. That is the wrong way to do it.
• 3:52
  Absolutely. And so they'll be like, you
• 3:54
  know, men sometimes I'll hear see online.
• 3:56
  They're like, well, you know, why did she, you know, lead him
• 4:00
  on? And, you know, she smiled at
• 4:02
  him. And then on the other side, why
• 4:04
  don't you just tell him to leave her alone?
• 4:07
  How do I know how he's going to react to that situation?
• 4:09
  You're already following me. You already changed your whole
• 4:12
  route to follow me and where I was going.
• 4:15
  And then when you finally realize that OK, I am running
• 4:18
  from you in the grocery store, then he finally left.
• 4:21
  Then he finally left. But that's so inappropriate.
• 4:24
  Also, he looked, she said. He looked like he was 40.
• 4:27
  She's 22. Stop it.
• 4:29
  Goodbye. Goodbye.
• 4:32
  No, she did everything right. It's not your fault and I hate
• 4:36
  to be it like like that, but I feel like all women have a case
• 4:39
  like this at least one time in their life.
• 4:42
  You know what I mean? Where you kind of have to figure
• 4:44
  out whether or not you're making the right decision.
• 4:47
  If I do this, will it turn out well for me?
• 4:49
  How do I keep myself safe while also not like provoking him?
• 4:53
  Because that's the worry to it. Just, I'm sorry you had to go
• 4:57
  through this. You did everything right.
• 5:00
  It's not your fault he's a creep.
• 5:02
  I'm tired of people saying that women need to do something
• 5:05
  different instead of you just not being a creep.
• 5:08
  But we all saw the video of that young boy who, like, body
• 5:12
  slammed and kicked that girl because she rejected him.
• 5:15
  Yeah, she was just like, no, I'm not interested.
• 5:18
  And he kept pushing and kept pushing and kept pushing and
• 5:20
  eventually he assaulted her. Are you kidding?
• 5:22
  With all sorts of people surrounding.
• 5:24
  And no one did and record. Him suing, especially the person
• 5:27
  who recorded it, he was like chuckling.
• 5:29
  So no, it's not our fault, it's not our responsibility.
• 5:34
  It's yours. It's yours.
• 5:35
  Stop doing this, stop being a creep.
• 5:38
  Oh. God, no.
• 5:41
  Thank you for sending that in. Thank you.
• 5:43
  Thank you for loving the podcast.
• 5:44
  We love you. Yes, we do.
• 5:46
  Thank you, am I overreacting? My parents took a baby shower
• 5:51
  gift back after my baby was stillborn.
• 5:56
  Rage, babe, I could feel it. Are you kidding?
• 5:59
  OK I-25 female was pregnant and had my baby shower in the
• 6:04
  seventh month. My parents gifted me 3 grams of
• 6:07
  gold jewelry in the form of Bengals.
• 6:10
  I questioned why they spent so much on gold and they said not
• 6:13
  to worry they would take it back after the baby was born to
• 6:15
  convert it into something else. OK this was a tradition for my
• 6:19
  sister's in laws so my parents did the same so I didn't feel
• 6:22
  left out even though I didn't ask for it.
• 6:26
  After delivery my baby was stillborn.
• 6:28
  Everyone was going through a very difficult time.
• 6:31
  I stayed at my parents house and all the baby shower gifts were
• 6:34
  with my mom. A month later I moved back with
• 6:37
  my husband and later my mom brought the baby shower gifts by
• 6:40
  but didn't include the Bengals. When I asked about that, my mom
• 6:44
  gave unclear and indirect answers even after I asked
• 6:48
  multiple times. Then she finally said something
• 6:51
  like since they initially planned to take the Bengals
• 6:54
  after the baby was born, she just held onto it.
• 6:57
  I was furious and asked her if she took it because my baby is
• 7:00
  no more. My mom denied it and said that
• 7:03
  the gift was mine and I could take it if I wanted but they
• 7:06
  planned to give it back when the time comes, referring to the
• 7:10
  next baby. I know, I know.
• 7:15
  This upset me further and I questioned how they could assume
• 7:18
  I would have another baby and bring this up just two months
• 7:21
  post delivery. I told them I was not going to
• 7:24
  have another baby and they could keep the jewelry and do whatever
• 7:26
  they wanted with it as it was theirs for me.
• 7:29
  This was not about money, this is about how they took back a
• 7:32
  gift that was given just because my child died.
• 7:35
  My parents have already been giving me a hard time throughout
• 7:37
  the situation and it feels like I finally had enough.
• 7:41
  I am really hurt by what happened and don't know what to
• 7:43
  do Am I overreacting? No, no, no.
• 7:48
  I'm so, so sorry that happened to you.
• 7:49
  And I'm so sorry that your parents aren't like
• 7:52
  acknowledging how severe that this case is.
• 7:56
  You know what I mean? Like you lost a child.
• 7:59
  Wow. You had like, you had nine
• 8:01
  months spending with this baby you loved on this baby.
• 8:04
  You you probably gave this baby a name.
• 8:06
  You were ready to have this baby and then you lost it and no one
• 8:10
  is there helping you through this.
• 8:12
  Instead of taking the jewelry saying OK when you try again
• 8:16
  like wait excuse. Me.
• 8:18
  Nobody's thinking about that right now.
• 8:20
  What? That is so disrespectful, so
• 8:22
  mean. You're supposed to be there for
• 8:24
  your daughter. You know what I mean?
• 8:26
  Who cares about the jewelry right now?
• 8:28
  It's not about the jewelry. It's the fact that you're not
• 8:30
  there for me and you're like, OK, you can just try again.
• 8:33
  Like this case wasn't like it didn't matter, You know, I'm
• 8:36
  just. Brushing this away.
• 8:38
  I mean if that's the case you should have kept all the baby
• 8:41
  shower gifts. All of them.
• 8:42
  But why is this the one piece, one thing that you decided to
• 8:46
  keep that was very intentional and that was very rude and I'm
• 8:50
  sorry this is happening to you. That's not fair and you should
• 8:53
  have a support system right now and she doesn't have that
• 8:56
  that's. Yeah, screwed.
• 8:58
  I, you know, she didn't, she kind of insinuated that there
• 9:01
  was some issues going on, maybe with her parents and how they
• 9:05
  dealt with her or treated her during her pregnancy.
• 9:07
  She didn't go into detail about that.
• 9:09
  But you know, she did stay with her family after she had a still
• 9:13
  birth. But then when she went home, it
• 9:14
  was kind of like, OK, let's get back to it.
• 9:17
  Let's excuse me, we're going to hold on to this for the next
• 9:19
  baby. Like I didn't undergo A trauma
• 9:22
  right now I'll take as long as I need to heal.
• 9:24
  Exactly. That isn't on you to determine.
• 9:27
  Like also this isn't this like little factory?
• 9:31
  I don't just pop on baby after baby after baby.
• 9:34
  This one doesn't work. I just defective.
• 9:36
  Move on. That's not how it works.
• 9:38
  I'm sorry. That's not how it works.
• 9:40
  No, not at all. Not at all.
• 9:42
  Yeah, it was, it was insensitive, you know, and they
• 9:45
  should have thought a little a little deeper into that.
• 9:47
  I know. I don't like when people aren't
• 9:51
  supportive of their families or there for their families and
• 9:53
  there to protect them and help them through tough situations
• 9:56
  because it's like that. What?
• 9:58
  What are you here for? Actually, yeah, people think too
• 10:02
  much about their own stuff and not enough about other people.
• 10:04
  100%, Yeah. All right, So there was this
• 10:08
  woman that brought back her dead husband as a hologram at his own
• 10:14
  funeral. If we can go to my screen for
• 10:16
  the visual people, there weren't that many pictures on this, I
• 10:19
  won't even lie. But Pam Kronrath, I believe she
• 10:22
  held a service for her husband of 60 years after he passed away
• 10:26
  and basically had a digital version of him that people
• 10:30
  could, like, ask questions to and, like, say goodbye to and
• 10:34
  everything. But it was all programmed using
• 10:37
  like her memories. And she wrote a script
• 10:39
  essentially, like if this question was asked, here's this
• 10:42
  answer based on what I think he would say, yada, yada, yada.
• 10:46
  So it wasn't this AI that's like making answers or whatever, but
• 10:49
  it basically gave people an opportunity to like, say
• 10:52
  goodbye, ask any last questions, which is really sweet and
• 10:55
  everything, but also how creepy. I'm sorry that is so.
• 11:00
  Creepy it is. So I what was interesting to me
• 11:05
  is that the people who went to the funeral were like taken
• 11:08
  aback, it said in the thing. And I would also be taken aback.
• 11:11
  I don't show up to a funeral expecting to be able to talk to
• 11:15
  the departed, the person. In the casket right there, like,
• 11:18
  and he popped up and people were like, whoa.
• 11:21
  And he was like, don't worry, I'm not alive, I'm just here to
• 11:24
  comfort you. And it was something really like
• 11:26
  cheesy like that. And I was like.
• 11:29
  I, you know what, I think it was probably really therapeutic for
• 11:32
  the wife to be able to write things in her husband's voice
• 11:36
  after being with somebody for 60 years.
• 11:37
  You said, I mean, I can see how that was probably really nice
• 11:41
  for her, but I don't know how everybody else took that.
• 11:44
  I don't think I would have taken that very well.
• 11:46
  No, I'm sorry. Like I'm in the middle of
• 11:48
  grieving and this guy's like, if you want to ask me any
• 11:51
  questions, it's like, how do I deal with the fact that I just
• 11:55
  realized you're gone and then I can talk to you again.
• 11:58
  That's just me though. But that brings up a really good
• 12:01
  point. And I'm really curious if y'all
• 12:03
  would like do this. Would you do this for your loved
• 12:05
  one or would you want this to happen at your own funeral?
• 12:09
  Or like do you want a funeral? Like what?
• 12:11
  Like no. I feel like this blurs the lines
• 12:14
  and certain things and it's a little weird, at least to me.
• 12:17
  Yeah, it's so hard because grieving is so different for
• 12:21
  everybody. And like I said, it probably was
• 12:23
  really, really helpful for her. But me personally, if you're
• 12:26
  asking me, I am mother, I would not because I just don't think
• 12:33
  that it's real, you know what I mean?
• 12:35
  Like, it would feel weird to me looking at that person and being
• 12:38
  like, that's not my dad or my cousin or whoever.
• 12:41
  This this is supposed to be my friend.
• 12:43
  Like we also know this person and this feels very weird and
• 12:48
  dystopian. And yeah, I would read it in AYA
• 12:53
  novel. OK, OK.
• 12:57
  But I hate the fact that like, we're blurring like things that
• 13:00
  we read and watched in movies and books and stuff is real.
• 13:04
  It's freaking me out. I know, I know.
• 13:08
  Because with what people can think, then we're going to go
• 13:11
  there. We are definitely going to go
• 13:13
  there. No, we don't have to.
• 13:14
  We really don't. We could just not.
• 13:16
  We cannot. We cannot.
• 13:18
  That's an option too, but it looks like we are so all right.
• 13:21
  But yeah, I thought that was really interesting.
• 13:22
  Thank you. And it's a really good question.
• 13:24
  I hope you guys answer to that. I really am curious, would you
• 13:27
  want to do this with your loved one?
• 13:31
  All right. So what lengths would you go to
• 13:34
  to claim your inheritance? Oh God.
• 13:37
  Yes, if you don't mind going to my screen.
• 13:40
  So this is Jitu Munda. I hope I pronounced his name
• 13:44
  right. He's 52, and he lives in eastern
• 13:47
  India. So his sister passed away, and
• 13:50
  he went to the bank to try to claim her money, which I used to
• 13:52
  work at a bank. This happens all the time.
• 13:55
  And they were like, well, do you have a death certificate?
• 13:58
  And he said no. And they said, OK, well, we need
• 14:01
  proof that she's dead. And if not, she needs to appear
• 14:04
  in person. So this man was recorded.
• 14:10
  He went and he dug up his sister and carried her across town to
• 14:15
  go to the bank so they could he could prove that she was in fact
• 14:19
  dead. That's insane.
• 14:22
  For our audio listeners, he is literally walking across town.
• 14:27
  His sister's skeleton is halfway in a plastic bag.
• 14:31
  Her legs are kind of just dangling down, and he takes her
• 14:34
  across town. So I'm going to not show that so
• 14:37
  much. But shocking, this was all over
• 14:41
  social media this week. It blew my mind.
• 14:45
  And so I want your initial reaction, then I'll continue.
• 14:49
  OK, I want to say forward that I am a terrible person and my
• 14:53
  sense of humor is so dark, but this is so sad.
• 14:58
  This is so sad because he didn't have the death certificate.
• 15:02
  I I don't know why. Like why he didn't have that,
• 15:05
  why he wasn't able to get that OK, the bank instead of just
• 15:08
  like maybe looking for it for him or finding another way or
• 15:14
  even going to her grave and being like, OK, she's dead,
• 15:17
  right? Force this guy to get to the,
• 15:21
  you know, to the bottom of the barrel to get his sister out and
• 15:25
  take her across town. Like physically, what did they
• 15:27
  do when he showed up? They were freaked out,
• 15:31
  obviously, they called the police and he wasn't arrested, I
• 15:35
  don't believe from what I read, but it was basically like they
• 15:38
  handled it from there. So the things that bothered me
• 15:41
  the most about this story is what he was trying to get from
• 15:45
  her account was ₹19,402.00, which is about 200 U.S. dollars.
• 15:50
  OK. And they're so pressed over
• 15:52
  $200.00. So this, I think, is a situation
• 15:55
  about poverty and education, right?
• 15:58
  And so he lives in a tribal community, more rural.
• 16:02
  And when he, I don't know if he understood whether they were
• 16:06
  like, she needs to show up, whether he was like, OK bet, or
• 16:13
  if he was so pissed off that they were making him go to these
• 16:16
  lengths that he just went and dug her up.
• 16:19
  Either way, yeah. That's insane.
• 16:21
  Isn't that crazy? I have no idea what was in his
• 16:25
  mind and nobody has talked to him and asked him.
• 16:28
  But the, what I don't like is that the bank was like just no
• 16:32
  'cause like I said, I used to work at a bank and I dealt with
• 16:34
  a lot of people who were dealing with their, with their family's
• 16:37
  estate. The first thing is, yes, you
• 16:39
  need a death certificate. And if they didn't have one or
• 16:41
  they didn't know how I would direct them.
• 16:44
  You can go to this website, you can request it.
• 16:46
  This is the people who can request death certificate as a
• 16:49
  bank. You know that information.
• 16:51
  Why didn't you share that with him?
• 16:52
  Yeah. Yeah, he just said, no, let me
• 16:54
  hold on to the $200 because you were so pressed about that $200.
• 16:58
  You didn't want him to get that for whatever reason.
• 17:01
  Exactly. And also shout out to him
• 17:04
  because he's like, I'm not going to let that stop me.
• 17:05
  He found a way like most people do, right?
• 17:08
  Exactly. It's just his way was insane.
• 17:14
  His way was over the top and like I said, I don't know what
• 17:18
  his like intentions were but he was like I'm a go get that
• 17:20
  money, fine. You need to see her.
• 17:22
  Here she is. Here she is.
• 17:25
  That's yo that's insane. I hope she was put back to rest
• 17:29
  appropriately. I think I read something about
• 17:33
  they had given him money to be a, some other people had given
• 17:36
  him money to put her, her, her back essentially and get her
• 17:40
  reburied. And it was more than the amount
• 17:43
  that he got from her account. Yeah, it was like $300.
• 17:48
  All of this would have been. Invited if the bank was just a
• 17:50
  decent establishment and helped him out with finding her death
• 17:55
  certificate. Imagine that like but now we got
• 17:58
  this video of him carrying her across town, y'all?
• 18:02
  That's too much. That is way too.
• 18:04
  Much. Oh my God, I know mother.
• 18:07
  All the dark humor people. Sorry, I know.
• 18:09
  I was trying so hard to be like, this is so serious, this is
• 18:12
  serious, this is really sad y'all.
• 18:14
  But like the dark humor, it's like he was legit carrying a
• 18:17
  skeleton across town. He said they want to see it, so
• 18:19
  here you go. That's insane if you think about
• 18:21
  the like insanity of that. Good Lord man.
• 18:27
  All right, I have a Reddit off my chest.
• 18:29
  My 26 year old boyfriend cheated on me with a 16 year old girl
• 18:34
  and I can't stop worrying for her.
• 18:36
  For her, yeah. I don't even know what to say.
• 18:40
  Obviously before I knew her age I was upset and mourning my
• 18:43
  relationship. We've been together for two
• 18:45
  years and I've spent God knows how much money on the slob
• 18:49
  rather than myself or my father who's I'll.
• 18:53
  Obviously no one forced me to, but when you have the
• 18:56
  expectation that your relationship is stable, you
• 18:59
  don't mind putting yourself behind to get them a gift.
• 19:02
  I originally found out about her existing in March and it was
• 19:06
  only the 4th of April when I uncovered that they had a
• 19:09
  relationship on the side, at which point I had already spent
• 19:13
  hundreds on him for Valentine's, self-care etcetera this year
• 19:16
  alone. So nice.
• 19:18
  Yay fun. Now that I found out about the
• 19:22
  fact that this girl is underage, I can't stop ruminating over it.
• 19:26
  We were long distance and I feel so powerless to help her.
• 19:30
  I contacted his cousin with all the information I have and he's
• 19:33
  taking it seriously thankfully, but it's haunting me.
• 19:37
  All I can think about is how disgusting he is and I worry for
• 19:40
  this girl knowing that realistically and unfortunately,
• 19:44
  not much is done to protect victims in this case.
• 19:47
  It's eating me alive. Any sadness or anger I
• 19:50
  originally felt about losing my relationship has just sort of
• 19:53
  turned into dread. I feel overwhelmed and almost
• 19:56
  guilty that I didn't try to find this out sooner.
• 19:59
  Part of me just feels contaminated by him too.
• 20:02
  I'm scared that there's been other girls he's done this to
• 20:05
  that I just missed because I didn't feel insecure enough in
• 20:07
  our relationship at that point. My heart hurts for her even as I
• 20:11
  write this now. I realized that when I met him.
• 20:14
  Him being 25 and me being 17. Was so weird and messed up and I
• 20:21
  don't get why he'd be interested in me.
• 20:23
  Now I look back at is that more mature person and I feel
• 20:27
  contaminated by him. He's repulsive and all I can do
• 20:30
  is sit here and write this angry, probably too self focused
• 20:34
  post instead of helping the girl he's clearly grooming.
• 20:37
  Every time I look for help online with similar issues,
• 20:40
  nobody seems to care about the teenage person involved and
• 20:44
  almost thinks that they deserve it.
• 20:46
  I've literally never felt so miserable and pessimistic on
• 20:49
  romance and just everything. Wow, that was a a reveal read.
• 20:57
  Well, this thing he has a type. It's so obvious.
• 20:59
  So he gets them in their late teens, keeps them for a little
• 21:03
  while until they're older than he wants, and then he trades it
• 21:06
  in for a new model. That's gives me the ick.
• 21:11
  It's disgusting, so much ick and I, I do appreciate how she's
• 21:16
  looking at the young girl and being like, Oh, I remember that.
• 21:19
  Because The thing is we a lot of young girls get into these
• 21:23
  relationships. We talked about this before and
• 21:26
  they look up to this older man and they think, Oh, I'm so lucky
• 21:31
  that he wants me of all over the old women that he could be with
• 21:37
  and in you feel like he's giving you money and he's giving you
• 21:40
  attention and things that you're not getting and you're like,
• 21:42
  this is so great, right? And then you get older and
• 21:44
  you're like, holy shit, I was being groomed, right?
• 21:48
  And so she is at the point now where she realized she was
• 21:51
  groomed and she's seeing her boyfriend do it.
• 21:55
  Yeah, yeah. She can finally see him for who
• 21:58
  he is, and now she's trying to find a way to save this girl
• 22:02
  from going through what she went through, essentially because
• 22:06
  she's 17, right? Or 1616.
• 22:09
  It'll only be a couple more years and then she'll be exactly
• 22:11
  where she is. It's so disgusting.
• 22:15
  Yeah, I'm so sick of these men. I'm sorry.
• 22:18
  I know women groom too. Yes.
• 22:20
  Yes. But why?
• 22:21
  Damn. You know, we're looking at the
• 22:24
  ratio. I know.
• 22:26
  And I, I wonder where they are too.
• 22:29
  You know how some states have it like 16 is the legal aid, you
• 22:33
  know what I mean? Like where are they too?
• 22:35
  That's another bit of information that I'd like to see
• 22:39
  and I just hope there's an update on this one because like,
• 22:42
  is she OK? She was long distance with her
• 22:44
  boyfriend too, so she has no idea what condition this girl's
• 22:47
  in. Like is she OK?
• 22:49
  Is she happy? I don't know.
• 22:52
  Like, and one thing that was really interesting to me, how
• 22:55
  she kept talking about the money.
• 22:56
  That was a weird part to me. Yeah, she's like, I spent a lot
• 23:00
  on him. I didn't see how that was
• 23:02
  relevant to the story. I was waiting for that to be
• 23:04
  relevant. And so I'm just like, I don't
• 23:06
  know. What does that mean?
• 23:07
  Does he, is he taking from you a lot?
• 23:09
  Are you always spending money on him and he's not spending money
• 23:12
  on you? It's just so weird.
• 23:14
  I don't know. That was just an interesting
• 23:15
  because she spent a lot of time talking about the money.
• 23:17
  Yeah, she did. You know what would be
• 23:19
  interesting? And this is just me being crazy
• 23:22
  here. Don't don't mind me.
• 23:24
  It would be interesting if he was like broke, right?
• 23:26
  And old and he's going and getting these young women with
• 23:31
  money and it's like. You need a teenager's money.
• 23:34
  Her little McDonald's money. That would be so interesting.
• 23:37
  That's not what's happening. But like, imagine, because
• 23:40
  usually in this case he would be the one spending the money,
• 23:43
  right? Like in other cases that we've
• 23:45
  heard, he's rich, he's old, yadda yadda yadda, he gets his
• 23:47
  young chick, so on and so forth. Right?
• 23:51
  But she mentioned the money a lot like she spent Valentine's.
• 23:54
  Other stuff? Self-care.
• 23:55
  Like why? Are you buying him self-care?
• 23:58
  Yeah, I know. So update please.
• 24:02
  Yeah, I need an update. You didn't ask a question, but
• 24:04
  you're not overreacting at all and I appreciate you looking out
• 24:07
  for the young girl. Yes.
• 24:10
  Am I overreacting? My fiance is financially
• 24:13
  supporting another woman. Oh my God.
• 24:19
  In March, I-35 female got engaged to my fiance, 36, male.
• 24:24
  We've known each other for over 20 years and finally got
• 24:26
  together this year. He's an incredible person, kind,
• 24:30
  hard working, and someone I truly see a future with.
• 24:33
  Right now we're long distance until I graduate nursing school
• 24:36
  in December, at which point I would be moving states to live
• 24:39
  with him. Here's the issue, he currently
• 24:42
  has a friend, 30, female living with him who he says he views
• 24:48
  like a little sister. I recently found out she was not
• 24:51
  paying rent, utilities or groceries.
• 24:54
  On top of that, when her car broke down he bought her a
• 24:57
  $20,000 replacement. What?
• 25:02
  She works from home and is planning to go back to school in
• 25:05
  the fall and she has a full ride financially.
• 25:08
  I've made it clear that when I move there, I want us to live
• 25:10
  alone. I'm leaving my home, my support
• 25:12
  system, and starting over. Privacy and building our life
• 25:15
  together is really important to me.
• 25:18
  He did agree to ask her to move out, but not until December when
• 25:21
  I'm moving in. Now he's saying he wants to
• 25:23
  continue financially supporting her while she's in school or
• 25:27
  possibly have her live in the basement of what would be our
• 25:30
  home. This is where I'm struggling.
• 25:33
  It's not just about her, it's that he seems unwilling to fully
• 25:36
  step back from financially supporting another adult even
• 25:39
  though it directly impacts our future.
• 25:41
  I'm worried about what this means long term finances,
• 25:44
  boundaries, and priorities in our relationship.
• 25:47
  From my perspective, she's an adult and should be responsible
• 25:50
  for herself, especially given how much help she's already
• 25:53
  received. From his perspective, he feels
• 25:56
  responsible for her and doesn't want to put her in a difficult
• 25:59
  position. I feel like I'm being asked to
• 26:01
  accept a situation that makes me uncomfortable while also making
• 26:04
  a huge life change to be with him.
• 26:06
  Am I overreacting? Absolutely not.
• 26:09
  I'm so. Confused here.
• 26:11
  What the fuck? I OK, OK.
• 26:15
  Why is it such a big deal to hold on to her?
• 26:19
  Oh my God. I don't understand.
• 26:21
  Well, first of all, let me hold your hand when I tell you this,
• 26:23
  sweetie. But he is sleeping with her.
• 26:27
  Absolutely. Absolutely.
• 26:30
  Why would he be supporting? Nothing that you said right here
• 26:34
  tells me what their relationship is.
• 26:36
  Thank you. Just a friend who's just a few
• 26:39
  years younger than him. He is fully financially
• 26:42
  supporting and also told you I ain't kicking her out until
• 26:46
  December. Until December.
• 26:47
  Until you get what? Me.
• 26:49
  Until I show up. So your booty moves out and new
• 26:52
  booty moves in. No, what you not going to do?
• 26:57
  No, no no no. What is wrong with you and
• 27:01
  you're about to move your whole life?
• 27:03
  That's what I'm saying. You better cancel all them
• 27:05
  plans. Cancelled.
• 27:06
  He already got what he needed. Apparently he has, so he's ready
• 27:09
  to support. Is he supports you that way?
• 27:12
  Is he helping you with your nursing school?
• 27:14
  You're. Fully independent.
• 27:15
  Remain independent. He's got this other chick.
• 27:18
  Please. Girl, girl, girl, girl.
• 27:23
  They are sleeping together. There's no if ands or buts about
• 27:27
  it. Stop it.
• 27:29
  You are writing in. I'm letting you know you are not
• 27:31
  overreacting. In fact, you are under reacting.
• 27:34
  You need to open my eyes up a little bit more because even if
• 27:37
  there's no proof, quote UN quote that they're sleeping together,
• 27:40
  you got to know this doesn't feel good to you and this
• 27:43
  doesn't feel good and there's not, there's no guarantee that
• 27:46
  she's moving out. He mentioned the basement.
• 27:49
  Basement. You want this man to live in the
• 27:50
  basement? In the basement.
• 27:51
  No, absolutely. Probably not.
• 27:54
  No. You are under reacting.
• 27:57
  He's already got some side chick which may be the main chick
• 28:00
  'cause he already living with him.
• 28:01
  She's the side chick. OP is the side chick.
• 28:04
  You feel me? You feel me?
• 28:06
  No, girl, you stay where you're doing.
• 28:09
  Be independent. You don't need him.
• 28:11
  He's already got the situation. Good for him or whatever.
• 28:14
  Or whatever, but come on, be for real, do not move your whole
• 28:19
  Life, OK? I can't believe that.
• 28:25
  What? I can't believe that.
• 28:27
  Absolutely not. My wish in love would.
• 28:33
  So I want to mention the best friend I've ever seen in my
• 28:37
  entire life. If we can please go to my screen
• 28:40
  for the visuals. So this is a woman, Rebecca
• 28:44
  Woods. A basically she let free a bunch
• 28:47
  of bees to prevent her friend from getting evicted, I think.
• 28:52
  OK, so I'm not saying what she did was right, but she's a great
• 28:56
  friend. I'm just saying.
• 28:57
  I'm just saying. I love a good friend you.
• 28:59
  Feel me? So Rebecca Woods, she was jailed
• 29:02
  for six months for releasing a swarm of bees on the deputies
• 29:06
  that showed up to serve eviction papers to her friend who is
• 29:10
  elderly and also undergoing cancer treatment.
• 29:14
  She said absolutely not, not under my watch.
• 29:17
  And she let them bees go in the picture.
• 29:19
  She is in full like gear. OK, But I want to mention the
• 29:24
  sad part because that was thousands of bees were lost in
• 29:27
  this. That's what I'm saying.
• 29:28
  In the Battle of Massachusetts. The Battle of Massachusetts,
• 29:33
  because they were getting, they were attacking.
• 29:35
  Yeah, they were getting stung. As you know, bees, after they
• 29:38
  lose their Stinger, they die. And then also they were getting
• 29:40
  swatted and stamped on. Thousands of lives were lost.
• 29:44
  Yeah. Let's pray for them, please.
• 29:46
  Thank you. And then a bunch of officers
• 29:49
  were stung and went out to. Go to the hospital.
• 29:51
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But.
• 29:54
  I do hope they are OK though. Absolutely.
• 29:56
  We hope they're OK. Yeah, again, I'm not saying what
• 29:59
  she did was right, but her intentions were to be like,
• 30:01
  absolutely not. I need to help my friend.
• 30:04
  He cannot get evicted at this time.
• 30:05
  Which I understand because he's, what, 80 years old?
• 30:08
  He's in his 80s going through cancer treatment.
• 30:10
  I understand rent has to be paid, right?
• 30:13
  But it would be really great if we lived in the society that
• 30:17
  valued people over money because something could be done here.
• 30:22
  Can we get a GoFundMe, you know, and take partial payments?
• 30:26
  You know what I'm saying? Like you're going to throw out
• 30:28
  an 80 year old man who's going through cancer treatment because
• 30:31
  he can't pay rent. He can't pay rent.
• 30:33
  He can't pay rent. Yeah.
• 30:36
  Like, where do you expect him to go?
• 30:37
  What do you expect him to do? Not his problem.
• 30:39
  Not their problem. Not their.
• 30:41
  So they're just going to go serve the papers, kick them out
• 30:43
  and everything is cool. But like, I mess with this
• 30:46
  chick. OK, hold on.
• 30:47
  I have her mug shot. This is she is me mugging like
• 30:51
  whatever. Face of a woman who said it and
• 30:53
  I'll do it again. And I'm like, I hope you do it
• 30:55
  again. She has no regrets.
• 30:58
  No regrets. But there was a video that was
• 31:01
  released of the like the dash camera, I think the footage,
• 31:04
  body Cam footage and someone was like she's releasing the bees
• 31:07
  and it literally you see bees and the camera and everything
• 31:10
  and it was super like aggressive and it was like a movie I swear
• 31:13
  to God. And one guy was like, I'm
• 31:14
  allergic to bees. And she said, oh, you are good.
• 31:19
  That's the face of a woman who. Said that regards no regards but
• 31:23
  her also her lawyer was working overtime too 'cause she kept
• 31:28
  saying things that were like. Bad for her.
• 31:30
  Case and everything they had the video of her saying oh good.
• 31:33
  And her lawyers was like no, no, no, no, no, she didn't mean
• 31:37
  that. And she ended up getting
• 31:38
  convicted. So six months in jail.
• 31:40
  And the worst part is that her friend actually ended up getting
• 31:44
  evicted afterwards too. So this didn't really have any
• 31:48
  sway. Nothing good really came out of
• 31:50
  it. She had to serve time.
• 31:51
  He got evicted. And man, which is unfortunate.
• 31:54
  It's like, I hope, I would hope that this case is big enough.
• 31:59
  People are like Oh my God, she released these bees, yadda yadda
• 32:01
  yadda. But the reasoning why she
• 32:02
  released the bees would come become a big enough reason for
• 32:06
  people to support her friend and try to figure out a way to help
• 32:10
  her friend. To help him because.
• 32:11
  That's all she was trying to do. Again, the way she did it was
• 32:15
  OK, it was a little iffy, but she only did it because she she
• 32:21
  was being pressured or her friend was being pressured and
• 32:23
  he was in squeezed in a tight situation where he couldn't find
• 32:26
  his way out. Exactly.
• 32:27
  He shouldn't have been put in that position.
• 32:29
  No, he should have had help, some kind of resources, some
• 32:34
  sort of resource, you know what I mean?
• 32:35
  So this shouldn't have happened because of the situation that he
• 32:39
  was in, not because she was a bad person.
• 32:41
  Yes, I agree. I agreed.
• 32:44
  Anyway, I like her, I mess with her, and I think that she's a
• 32:50
  she's a writer, yeah. No regrets there.
• 32:53
  None. Thank you.
• 32:55
  All right, so we have a new Florida Man.
• 32:59
  Yes, I love Florida Man. If you could go to my screen,
• 33:02
  this is Demari Patterson. He is a Taco Bell employee, and
• 33:07
  he shot at customers who filled their water cups with soda.
• 33:10
  I'm gonna stop you right there. Then I know they don't pay you
• 33:15
  enough. Boy, stop.
• 33:17
  Why do you care? OK, I will tell you the whole
• 33:20
  situation. I have the play by play.
• 33:21
  Oh, please. All right.
• 33:22
  So three women came into the Taco Bell.
• 33:25
  DeMar. I'll call him Patterson.
• 33:27
  He was working behind the counter.
• 33:29
  Two of those three women asked for water cups.
• 33:32
  Right? Which we've all done before.
• 33:34
  And we've all put a little bit of soda in the water cup.
• 33:36
  I mean, come on now. Right.
• 33:38
  So they filled them with soda and Patterson started yelling at
• 33:41
  them. And apparently there's a video,
• 33:43
  there's a there was some do somethings going on, do
• 33:45
  something, you know, there was some do somethings.
• 33:48
  And then there's the sound of a firearm being wrapped, right.
• 33:54
  So one woman, he started shooting.
• 33:56
  One woman was grazed in her eyebrow.
• 33:58
  Oh my. God.
• 33:59
  So he almost shot her in the head.
• 34:01
  OK. So two of them took off running.
• 34:04
  He came out from behind the counter and followed them.
• 34:07
  And then he saw the third woman. She was crouched in the corner
• 34:10
  of the Taco Bell. So he opens fire on her.
• 34:13
  Go run. OK, so then he missed her and he
• 34:17
  shot out a window and she got injured in her shoulder because
• 34:20
  of what was going on there. Oh my God.
• 34:22
  Right, so Patterson goes and he calls 911 and he said, quote, a
• 34:26
  customer jumped behind the counter and he retrieved his
• 34:30
  weapon and shot at her boy, where that was his story.
• 34:35
  You you know, there are cameras that is these stupidest.
• 34:40
  Are you kidding me? Just admit that you were being
• 34:43
  all pressed and wired. Over.
• 34:45
  Soda. Over.
• 34:46
  Soda, which I know they don't pay you enough to be pressed
• 34:48
  over that. Give them the.
• 34:49
  Little tiny water cups and move on.
• 34:51
  You can even just say, hey, you're not supposed to put soda
• 34:54
  in there, like, who cares? He said.
• 34:55
  Violence. Yes, absolute violence.
• 34:58
  So he has been charged with three counts of aggravated
• 35:01
  assault with a firearm and he pleaded not guilty.
• 35:04
  Really. Yeah, not guilty.
• 35:06
  So this is the Taco Bell outside the incident be for.
• 35:10
  Real, not guilty. What is up with Florida man's
• 35:15
  Florida man's over here tripping okay, Taco Bell and also you
• 35:23
  came to work with your gun yeah that part how did.
• 35:26
  You get it. Actually it's like.
• 35:28
  Hey, check it. Whatever.
• 35:32
  Thank you. It's insane.
• 35:35
  Hey, tomorrow he was like, what you're not gonna do in front of
• 35:38
  me is still 7. Not in front of me he was.
• 35:41
  He's not even the manager. He was just crew.
• 35:43
  Just crew. That's insane.
• 35:45
  It's not that serious. And also you had her right in
• 35:48
  your sights and you missed. Thank.
• 35:50
  God, thank God, you're a bad shot, right?
• 35:53
  Thank God, thank the Lord. Like, I swear she's up in there
• 35:57
  crouched in the corner and you shot the women out.
• 36:00
  I know she was like switching her wife.
• 36:03
  Seriously. Her and the one with the
• 36:05
  eyebrow. The eyebrow.
• 36:07
  You almost shot me in the head. Over some water cups.
• 36:10
  Stop be for real. All right, have my last Reddit.
• 36:14
  This one is a relationship advice.
• 36:17
  My boyfriend got an apartment behind my back after living
• 36:21
  together for a year and now I'm homeless.
• 36:24
  How do I go about the situation? Oh no.
• 36:28
  So my boyfriend, 25 male and I25 female have been looking for for
• 36:33
  a place together for about 3 months.
• 36:35
  Because my lease is going to end at the end of the month we've
• 36:38
  been looking non-stop. I've been footing all the
• 36:41
  application costs because he didn't have a job until the end
• 36:44
  of last month. It's not great though and he
• 36:46
  makes minimum wage. I knew that I was going to have
• 36:50
  to pay most of the bills but I was OK with that because I
• 36:52
  wanted to support him while he was struggling.
• 36:55
  Anyways, he gets his job and suddenly he starts acting cold
• 36:59
  and distant and not really acting like himself.
• 37:02
  He's more irritable and he's not talkative.
• 37:05
  On Wednesday I get a text from him saying that a private
• 37:08
  landlord reached out to him and that we need to talk.
• 37:12
  Mind you I'm in the middle of a 14 hour shift so I didn't see
• 37:15
  this message until one AMI get home and he breaks news that he
• 37:20
  went ahead and signed the lease and that I could stay with him
• 37:23
  but I'd still have to look for my own place.
• 37:27
  OK. I felt blindsided.
• 37:29
  He tells me it's not a breakup but we need our own space and
• 37:33
  that will be healthy because we've become codependent.
• 37:37
  Naturally. I start freaking out and crying
• 37:39
  non-stop saying I feel abandoned and he keeps saying if I were
• 37:43
  abandoning you I wouldn't let you crash here while you look
• 37:46
  for your own place. What?
• 37:49
  And see, This is why we got to separate because I can't deal
• 37:51
  with your emotional outburst. You funny?
• 37:55
  You funny? I feel used and discarded and
• 37:59
  that I'm wrong or feeling this way.
• 38:00
  I feel like we should have talked about this first.
• 38:03
  I don't know what to do. I'm about to be out of a place
• 38:05
  and I'm completely screwed. And before you ask, the only
• 38:08
  reason I'm still looking this late in the game is because he
• 38:11
  kept dragging his feet on applications so we'd end up
• 38:13
  getting denied. Whoo, 50 more dollars down the
• 38:16
  drain. So Reddit, how do I handle this
• 38:19
  situation? Is this the beginning of the
• 38:21
  end? Do it.
• 38:23
  Do I suck it up and stay with him in his new apartment while I
• 38:26
  continue to look for a permanent place to live?
• 38:29
  I feel so lost right now so any advice is welcomed.
• 38:32
  Shut up girl, I'm so mad at you right now.
• 38:38
  First of all, OK, first of all, he was couldn't even front the
• 38:46
  $50 application fees. So she's doing that because it's
• 38:49
  per person as far as I remember, Right.
• 38:51
  So she's paying $100 per apartment.
• 38:54
  And he is sitting there talking about a private one.
• 38:57
  Reached out to me. So I went ahead and signed it by
• 39:00
  myself. When we've been doing this
• 39:01
  together, since when was it individual?
• 39:04
  Thank you. And then he's acting all distant
• 39:07
  because he got a job. That's the thing.
• 39:09
  You were supporting him. He was your son, OK, for a
• 39:12
  little while and then now he got a job and he was like, oh, I'm
• 39:16
  good, I don't need you anymore. Feeling himself sign the lease,
• 39:20
  a loan, when in reality I know she could have afforded all
• 39:23
  these places, she could have done this way earlier, but she
• 39:26
  was sticking out for you. Because this was the plan.
• 39:28
  We were doing this together and then now he's like, you can
• 39:32
  crash at my. Place the nerve you to say that
• 39:36
  it would have been on site furniture would have been.
• 39:38
  That's what I'm saying. Don't sleep around me in this
• 39:40
  situation because yeah. OK, with your little minimum
• 39:46
  wage job, you feeling yourself, huh?
• 39:49
  The audacity. I know I cannot with this guy.
• 39:54
  Girl. What?
• 39:54
  You mean beginning of the end? This is the end.
• 39:57
  He already broke up with you. Yeah, this was the breakup.
• 39:59
  And he's. Saying I'm going to be a decent
• 40:01
  person and let you stay with me while you find your own place.
• 40:04
  Girl, do you have anybody you got your family, friends,
• 40:09
  somebody you can sleep on their couch because it'll be better.
• 40:11
  It'll be so. Much better.
• 40:12
  It's going to be hell staying with him.
• 40:13
  You don't need because he's all he's going to do is be like this
• 40:16
  is my place and I'm doing you a solid and he's going to act like
• 40:19
  that the entire time you're there.
• 40:20
  Yes, I don't need that. Yeah, and look at him
• 40:22
  weaponizing therapy speak, talking about codependency.
• 40:25
  You don't know what codependency you.
• 40:26
  Don't know what that is. Boy, boy, get up out of here
• 40:30
  with that. Oh my goodness, that one was
• 40:33
  actually kind of funny because I was like the audacity.
• 40:35
  I know, like, that's insane. Thank God she didn't like put
• 40:39
  money down on a place, you know, the down payment and all that
• 40:42
  stuff because that'll be the same as rent.
• 40:44
  Yeah, and I know. Moving on girl, find something
• 40:49
  else to do. Exactly 14 hour shifts though
• 40:51
  too. I don't know what she's doing,
• 40:53
  but she's making more than him. That part, it's my apartment.
• 41:03
  So angry. Like what am I overreacting by
• 41:08
  breaking up with my partner over him completely changing his
• 41:11
  beliefs? OK so my now ex male 29 and I
• 41:17
  female 25 were together for about 2 1/2 years and broke up
• 41:21
  yesterday. I'm trying to figure out if I'm
• 41:23
  in the wrong here. Over the past three to six
• 41:25
  months he started getting into religion, At first just from a
• 41:29
  historical perspective. When we met he was completely
• 41:32
  different. He identified as pansexual, was
• 41:35
  really into metal, and didn't care at all what people thought.
• 41:39
  About 3 weeks ago he left me a note before work saying he had
• 41:42
  chosen the Catholic Church and wanted to start OCIA classes and
• 41:47
  get baptized. So I looked it up.
• 41:48
  We're not Catholic. OCIA is classes for adults
• 41:51
  looking to convert to Catholicism.
• 41:54
  Whoa. I supported him as best I could.
• 41:58
  I know faith is really important to a lot of people.
• 42:00
  And it's worth mentioning too. When the OCIA teacher did not
• 42:03
  respond to him over Easter weekend, he was talking about
• 42:06
  just converting to Eastern Orthodox instead because he felt
• 42:10
  like it was a quote sign from God.
• 42:13
  OK for context I grew up very religious and was heavily
• 42:16
  involved in the church like 4 to five days a week.
• 42:19
  I had some really negative experiences and got hurt badly
• 42:22
  and my relationship with my family is still strained because
• 42:25
  they push religion so hard. I told them all of this but
• 42:28
  since he started this he's actually been pushing it on me
• 42:31
  more than my mom does. I also made it clear to him that
• 42:35
  I would never expect him to change his beliefs for me.
• 42:37
  That's his choice, but it really hurt to feel like he expected me
• 42:41
  to conform to his beliefs and lifestyle just because he
• 42:43
  decided to follow them, right? Yesterday he texted me from work
• 42:47
  saying he refused to support one of our very close friends in his
• 42:51
  drag pageant. This was weird because he used
• 42:54
  to love going to drag. He said it was gross to support
• 42:57
  that kind of thing. I asked what he meant and he
• 43:00
  said he doesn't support homosexuality.
• 43:02
  Oh, you were pansexual? I asked about our queer friends
• 43:07
  and he said he doesn't support them either and called it just
• 43:10
  desires. Then it got more personal.
• 43:14
  He told me that I'm not really bisexual because I'm dating a
• 43:17
  guy. He said he's upset I have an IUD
• 43:21
  even though I've had it in for five years.
• 43:24
  He also said if we had a child and they were gay he wouldn't
• 43:28
  support them. Oh.
• 43:30
  So he just hit all of them, huh? Yeah, just went down the
• 43:32
  checklist. I told him those are completely
• 43:35
  different values from mine and honestly not even what he
• 43:38
  believed. Not that long ago.
• 43:39
  He told me I should be smart enough to do my research and see
• 43:43
  that he's right. When I said this kind of
• 43:45
  difference wouldn't work long term he started yelling that I
• 43:48
  hate God and don't want him to be happy, which isn't true at
• 43:51
  all. I've tried to keep things calm
• 43:54
  and said we should talk more but he when he got home.
• 43:56
  Especially since we live together and need to figure out
• 43:59
  our release, our cats and shared stuff.
• 44:01
  But when he got home he ignored me and went straight to bed.
• 44:04
  So yeah, am I overreacting by ending it over this?
• 44:07
  No, absolutely not. I don't even know where to
• 44:11
  start, but let's take some time, OK?
• 44:14
  Let's breathe. Let's breathe.
• 44:16
  That is so funny because you were pansexual.
• 44:20
  I know you kissed a guy 100% and if we're going by your rules
• 44:24
  therefore God hates you and also it is not me and solely my
• 44:29
  responsibility to make God happy.
• 44:30
  That's so funny of you, I love that.
• 44:33
  I hate it when people push their beliefs and their religion on
• 44:38
  other people. I'm not saying that you don't
• 44:41
  have the right to do you and believe what you do, but forcing
• 44:45
  everyone around you to believe the way you do and if they don't
• 44:48
  agree with you, they're wrong. That's it's the wrong part.
• 44:51
  I have plenty of friends who are religious but we coexist
• 44:55
  beautifully because we all have different beliefs and we all
• 44:58
  just do our own thing together. Yes separate but together.
• 45:02
  Right. Him trying to forces on her
• 45:04
  after I'm sure he knows the trauma she experienced when she
• 45:07
  was a kid with religion. It is the horrible thing to do
• 45:11
  in this relationship. Him acting holier than thou when
• 45:14
  I know he made all these little sinful choices in his past life.
• 45:17
  Yes, it's so funny to me because like bruh.
• 45:21
  He went, he went in the Pearly Gates ain't going to see you.
• 45:25
  But The thing is, when people learn something new, they can,
• 45:29
  they have a tendency to be like, everybody's dumb.
• 45:31
  Why didn't everybody know this? And that's it with all sorts of
• 45:34
  things, but especially religion. And so he's like, no, no, no, I
• 45:38
  love you. And then you should know this.
• 45:40
  But the way that he went about it 100% wrong.
• 45:43
  Wrong. What wrong?
• 45:45
  And then also you were in a quote UN quote lifestyle because
• 45:48
  people like to say, you know, queer Linus is a lifestyle, but
• 45:51
  you are queer. You identified as pansexual.
• 45:55
  And so now you're like, actually this whole life that I built,
• 45:59
  all of my friends, my partner in fact, who's bisexual.
• 46:02
  Oh, wrong. It's all wrong.
• 46:05
  You guys are stupid. That's it.
• 46:07
  It's like, that's not why. Why would I want to come over to
• 46:11
  your side? And that is how you present it
• 46:13
  to me. Doesn't seem very welcoming on
• 46:15
  that side. This.
• 46:16
  Side, at least the side where I'm at, I can go to this drag
• 46:19
  and we we love me some drag. Give me a fan, OK.
• 46:22
  And I also did want to highlight the part that he said that she's
• 46:26
  not really bisexual because she's with a man.
• 46:29
  I've heard that conversation a lot about how people were like,
• 46:32
  because you're bisexual and you're not actually dating the
• 46:35
  other side, that makes you bisexual, like the same person
• 46:37
  or the same gender or whatever. You're not really a bisexual,
• 46:40
  you're more straight. It's like, that doesn't make any
• 46:42
  sense. I'm partial bisexual or I'm not
• 46:45
  a real. Bisexual.
• 46:47
  Or things like that is not fair. It's like I'm attracted to both
• 46:51
  genders therefore that makes me bisexual but that doesn't mean
• 46:54
  that me dating this one. Makes me it.
• 46:57
  It takes away my bisexuality. Side like, that's not how
• 47:00
  sexuality works. That's not fair.
• 47:03
  You're a jerk for saying that. I'm sure that was a very sore
• 47:06
  spot for her. Because I'm sure she's heard it
• 47:08
  before. I know I feel.
• 47:10
  And the IUD really bothered me because, you know, pushing women
• 47:14
  not to use birth control is disgusting.
• 47:17
  I just, I just hate that so much.
• 47:19
  And so you no longer have a choice of whether or not you
• 47:22
  start a family or you have to stay with this person because
• 47:25
  now we had a family. And I don't like that at all.
• 47:28
  But you were OK with it in the five years that you've been or 2
• 47:30
  1/2 years you guys have been together?
• 47:32
  Exactly, Like the crazy switch up is insane.
• 47:35
  And I feel like he might be pushing all this on her and
• 47:38
  being all aggressive with it because he knows that like this
• 47:41
  little new religion that he adapted is in direct opposition
• 47:46
  to how he's been living for so long now.
• 47:49
  You know what I mean? It's like, but also, I think he
• 47:51
  needs to realize that the way that he's been living with so
• 47:54
  long for so long now isn't wrong.
• 47:57
  No, this is what was natural to you.
• 47:59
  Yeah, like I feel like you can maybe adapt this new religion.
• 48:02
  Well, I don't really know a lot about Catholicism.
• 48:05
  I know it's a little different than Christianity and how there
• 48:08
  might be a little bit things more stricter.
• 48:09
  I, I really don't know, But maybe he's conflicted within
• 48:14
  himself because he adopted this new thing and he knows that I
• 48:18
  guess these rules that he's now following, he didn't follow them
• 48:21
  previously. I don't know, but it's wrong to
• 48:24
  push on your girlfriend. It's wrong to push on your
• 48:28
  friends because now they don't have your support, you know?
• 48:31
  And let's not forget the baby part.
• 48:34
  Not to cut you off, I apologize. But yes, it is like if we have a
• 48:38
  child together, I'm not going to accept this child.
• 48:40
  I forgot about that period. So you should not have children
• 48:45
  unless you're ready to accept the fact that they might have a
• 48:47
  disability or the fact that they might be gay.
• 48:51
  And just to say, Nope, I wouldn't accept them.
• 48:53
  Why would anybody want to have a child with you?
• 48:55
  Yeah, it's a median no for me if I was her.
• 48:58
  We're done. Yeah, yeah.
• 49:00
  So not overreacting. Is that what it was?
• 49:03
  I don't know. There was a comment here too I
• 49:05
  wanted to mention. So a bunch of the comments were
• 49:08
  saying that it might be a mental health issue because it was like
• 49:10
  a sudden onset with schizophrenia or psychosis.
• 49:14
  And so the OP responded, I'm a mental health professional.
• 49:19
  I've asked him to go see someone various times in our
• 49:21
  relationship because I can't be therapist for him and my
• 49:25
  clients. It's mentally exhausting and I
• 49:27
  didn't want to start seeing him like a patient.
• 49:29
  He is seeking belonging and community but won't see that
• 49:33
  there is likely something going on internally that could be
• 49:35
  addressed and make community easier to achieve outside of a
• 49:38
  church setting. So I thought that was a really
• 49:41
  interesting thing to add. Is that OP recognize some mental
• 49:45
  health issues before all this happened and then they
• 49:49
  discovered religion and went that direction.
• 49:52
  So I didn't, my mind didn't even go there, but there was several
• 49:55
  comments that people were saying, hey, this might be
• 49:57
  psychosis or schizophrenia or something like that with just
• 50:00
  how aggressively he took over with it.
• 50:02
  So in that. Case and now we got to approach
• 50:04
  this differently. Yeah, I really am curious to see
• 50:08
  what it was, you know, if it was actually that.
• 50:11
  Wow. Yeah, that one was a wild one.
• 50:14
  That's a good one. That's a really, really good
• 50:15
  one. And that's my last one.
• 50:17
  We had to leave us off like that.
• 50:18
  That's insane. Well, as you know you have
• 50:23
  another one for me and Patreon, right?
• 50:25
  Oh my goodness. OK look, y'all listen to me very
• 50:27
  clearly. I need you to pause, go get you
• 50:29
  some wine or something to just relax with because I went down a
• 50:33
  rabbit hole this morning and I found both sides of an argument
• 50:38
  that regard that's regarding opening up your marriage to
• 50:42
  other people. So please join us in the VTSI.
• 50:47
  Got both sides and an update. OK, so it's out now.
• 50:52
  If you guys are seeing this, it's out now.
• 50:53
  So head over to Patreon. It is in our bioour2gems.com.
• 50:58
  Please go join us, it's always good.
• 51:00
  Thank you for joining us here on YouTube, on Spotify.
• 51:03
  We love y'all. We'll see you next week outro.
• 51:07
  Love y'all.