Latest / Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel / Actress & Singer Jana Kramer Chats with Rachel About Life, Love, and Coparenting After Divorce

Transcript

Actress & Singer Jana Kramer Chats with Rachel About Life, Love, and Coparenting After Divorce · Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

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  Speaker 1: real conversations in a new language today. All right. Welcome
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: back to misunderstood with Rachel. You could tell I'm so
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: excited to have our next guest here, Jana Kramer. She's
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  Speaker 1: a country singer, actress, mom, entrepreneur, bestselling author, podcaster, and
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  Speaker 1: my good friend. Thank you for showing up.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me on friend. I'm so excited
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  Speaker 2: for you and I'm, uh, I'm honored to be on
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  Speaker 2: your show.
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  Speaker 1: Great. Um, so first talk to me about how you
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: got into everything because I first knew you from singing
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  Speaker 1: your song about... What's that song about? The Boy and
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: the Man?
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  Speaker 2: I Got the Boy, She Got the Man.
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  Speaker 1: Yes. Because first of all, when I first listened to
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  Speaker 1: that song, I was like in tears. It was my
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  Speaker 1: favorite song ever. And I was like, this is my girl.
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  Speaker 1: She gets me, I get her. So I always knew
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  Speaker 1: you as a country artist.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's interesting because there's so many people that... I
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  Speaker 2: love when... People just know me from the countryside because
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  Speaker 2: a lot of the country crossover people knew me from
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  Speaker 2: the show One Tree Hill that I was on. So
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  Speaker 2: it's it's really awesome to meet people that like just
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  Speaker 2: kind of know my music. But, yeah, no, got the
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  Speaker 2: boy was so I had this high school sweetheart, Matthew,
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  Speaker 2: and I had been writing songs to like for my
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  Speaker 2: first album. And just every song was about him.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 2: Like he was my first love. He was my first heartbreak.
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  Speaker 2: And so, but none of the songs were like making
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  Speaker 2: a cut. And so my producer was like, who are
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  Speaker 2: you writing about? And I'm like, my high school sweetheart
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  Speaker 2: who broke my heart. And I'm like, I still like
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  Speaker 2: wonder about him and like, you know, what could have been?
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  Speaker 2: And he's like, I have a song that you need
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  Speaker 2: to listen to. And he played it for me. And
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  Speaker 2: I was no joke, like a puddle of tears in
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  Speaker 2: his office. Cause I was like, this is exactly it.
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  Speaker 2: Like I got the boy, she got the man. And
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  Speaker 2: there's no, like, that's literally it. And it was, I
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  Speaker 2: begged to have the song and actually, Jamie Lynn Spears,
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  Speaker 2: Britney Spears, his sister wrote the song. So I called
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  Speaker 2: her and was like, can I please have this? And
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  Speaker 2: she was, she graciously gave me the song. And so, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it was awesome.
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  Speaker 1: That's amazing. So you're from Michigan, right?
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  Speaker 2: I am from Michigan. Yeah. I, I was born and
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  Speaker 2: raised there. And then I moved to Los, actually I
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  Speaker 2: moved to New York when I was 18. And then
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  Speaker 2: I moved to LA when I was 19, pretty much
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  Speaker 2: have been just fighting, fighting the good fight since then. I,
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  Speaker 2: I kind of, I didn't go to college. I didn't
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  Speaker 2: want to fall back plan. And I, I knew what
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  Speaker 2: I wanted to be an actress and I fell into
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  Speaker 2: the singing from the show that I was on. So,
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  Speaker 2: but I mean, I, I like to call myself a scrapper. Like,
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  Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm very scrappy. I just, I want
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  Speaker 2: to like hustle. And now that I'm a mom, you know, to,
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  Speaker 2: to two babies, I'm like, all right, like I gotta,
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  Speaker 2: I gotta work my butt off.
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  Speaker 1: So, so were you more into acting or singing as
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  Speaker 1: a young girl?
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  Speaker 2: Acting. I didn't start singing until like, Probably like my
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  Speaker 2: middle twenties. I mean, it was the first time my
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  Speaker 2: family ever really heard me sing minus when I was
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  Speaker 2: six years old at like one of those pageants that
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  Speaker 2: I did. They had no idea. So it was just
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  Speaker 2: something I always wanted to try. And with being on
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  Speaker 2: a very musical TV show, I was like, Hey, I've
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  Speaker 2: kind of been writing a little bit. What do you
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  Speaker 2: think of these songs? And that's when they turned my
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  Speaker 2: character into a singer.
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  Speaker 1: So, and it's so funny because I've been, now that
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  Speaker 1: Netflix after COVID has gotten so big, I've been getting
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  Speaker 1: into shows that I would have never watched before. So I,
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  Speaker 1: I recently got into Grey's Anatomy and I'm watching it
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  Speaker 1: with my daughter and I'm like, wait a minute, I
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  Speaker 1: know her. That's my girl.
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  Speaker 2: Young Jenna.
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  Speaker 1: Very, very young.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: And then, you know, I'm watching like, you know, the
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  Speaker 1: Hallmark channel and there you are. And I'm like, what
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  Speaker 1: the hell? You're like all over the place. Like, what
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  Speaker 1: kind of stuff have you done? That I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: see you on from the past and then in the future.
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  Speaker 2: Like Entourage, Friday Night Lights, One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy,
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  Speaker 2: Private Practice, 90210. All the good ones. A bunch of
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  Speaker 2: Lifetime stuff. Any Christmas movie in a year, you'll be
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  Speaker 2: bound to see something.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: But it's fun. I mean, I do about a Christmas
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  Speaker 2: film a year now just because they're really fun. They're wholesome.
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  Speaker 2: And I love working with Personally Lifetime just because they're
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  Speaker 2: very good with the fact that I'm a mom and
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  Speaker 2: I need to bring my kids to set and stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Right. And how often are you writing music now or
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  Speaker 1: doing music?
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  Speaker 2: So I'm actually working on, we're not sure if it's
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  Speaker 2: going to be a full album, but it's definitely going
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  Speaker 2: to be an EP. I'm releasing a few songs. I've
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  Speaker 2: I have a song coming out very soon and then
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  Speaker 2: we'll be releasing an EP later in the year. But
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  Speaker 2: for me, it's more like, I just, I love being
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  Speaker 2: able to kind of do it all and just, I
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  Speaker 2: have fun with, with it. And it just kind of like,
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  Speaker 2: I don't tour as much as I used to just with, again,
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  Speaker 2: being a mom, it's tough, but I still love, I
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  Speaker 2: love writing. I love creating. I was just with Lee Bryce,
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  Speaker 2: who's an amazing country artist. We just wrote a song
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  Speaker 2: together the other night. And so it's just, you know,
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  Speaker 2: I just, I love to create. And I think, you know, girl, we've,
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  Speaker 2: we've lived some stuff. And so it's fun to get
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  Speaker 2: it out there on the page.
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  Speaker 1: Right. And so are you able to take your personal
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  Speaker 1: experience and use that to write music? Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: I feel like when it comes to music, I have
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  Speaker 2: a really hard time singing something that I can't connect
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  Speaker 2: to or that I haven't been through. So that's why,
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  Speaker 2: I mean, music has helped me in so many of
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  Speaker 2: my relationships and life and healing and growth and sadness.
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  Speaker 2: And so, you know, whenever I'm like sad, I go
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  Speaker 2: to music to either, you know, to listen to, to help.
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  Speaker 2: So that's kind of for me. I'm like, I want
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  Speaker 2: to be able to sing something that I've gone through
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  Speaker 2: that hopefully can like help somebody else too down the
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  Speaker 2: road with whatever they're going through. So, you know, the.
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  Speaker 4: The car is beautiful. Where did you end up going
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  Speaker 4: for it?
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  Speaker 3: This exclusive place that Dada's connections with. They have more
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  Speaker 3: cars for more dealerships than like anywhere else.
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  Speaker 4: You have to put me in touch. What's it called?
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  Speaker 5: It's Dunaidial.
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  Speaker 4: Where? Dunaidial.
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  Speaker 5: There's an accent on the E.
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  Speaker 4: Do you mean.
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  Speaker 5: Yes, I got it on Done Deal Cars. Lyft, please.
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  Speaker 4: You're going past Kimmage?
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  Speaker 5: Oh, Kimmage.
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  Speaker 1: No.
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  Speaker 5: Done Deal Cars. You couldn't possibly go anywhere else.
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  Speaker 2: One of the songs that has been my most successful
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  Speaker 2: song was actually the song that I wrote for my
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  Speaker 2: kids after my divorce. It was about being a single
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  Speaker 2: mom and separating and, you know, basically facing the reality that,
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  Speaker 2: you know, we're not this perfect family that you guys deserve,
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  Speaker 2: like in the fairy tales. And so I think when
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  Speaker 2: you write honest stuff, I mean, that's what people connect to.
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  Speaker 2: And for me, that's like very important to continue to
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  Speaker 2: just be honest through music too.
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  Speaker 1: Right. So you've been married and divorced a couple of
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  Speaker 1: times now, right?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So was this last divorce the hardest? Talk to me
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  Speaker 1: about marriage and divorce.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the hardest because it was for me,
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  Speaker 2: When I look at my Wikipedia page, I say I've
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  Speaker 2: been married one time. Now on paper, that's not how
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  Speaker 2: it looks. But if you were to go back through
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  Speaker 2: the weeds of it, I was 19 years old. I
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  Speaker 2: knew a guy for two weeks. We went to Vegas
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  Speaker 2: and got married. That to me is not a marriage.
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  Speaker 2: That was a whoopsie Britney Spears.
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  Speaker 3: I'm 19.
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  Speaker 2: I'm being stupid. I'm wearing Von Dutch, a t-shirt and,
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  Speaker 2: you know, Abercrombie pants and I'm drinking a Shirley Temple,
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  Speaker 2: you know, and Elvis is saying like, you guys are married.
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  Speaker 2: Like that to me is not, you know, that was
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  Speaker 2: not a wedding or a marriage and.
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  Speaker 1: Time out, time out. Did you get married at the
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  Speaker 1: little white chapel?
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  Speaker 2: No, it was a drive through girl.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my God. Wait, I got married there too, to
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  Speaker 1: the father of my child, to, to Matt, to Wyatt's dad.
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  Speaker 1: And it wasn't the drive through, but it was, I
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  Speaker 1: think there was a drive through section at that same chapel.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: So like wave to each other, like, you know, yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: It's so embarrassing, but you know, it's like, you know,
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  Speaker 2: we were obviously that, that relationship ended, uh, awful, but we,
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  Speaker 2: no one knew we were married. Like that didn't even,
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  Speaker 2: that didn't even come out until I was on dancing
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  Speaker 2: with the stars that I married this man. Um, or
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: that I publicly like even admitted to it. Um, cause
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: it was on the Wikipedia page. And then the second one, wait,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: how long were you married? Well, again, like technically on
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: paper one year but again nobody nobody knew we you
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: know it was it that that one's a he ended
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: up going to jail for attempted murder it's a whole
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: like that one was like, Oh yeah. Light, very light,
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: like the light days of Jana. Um, and then the
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: second one, we were married for a week. Like I
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: literally walked down the aisle and go, Oh my God,
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I'm making the biggest mistake in my life. And I
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: cried to my best friend in the bathroom and And,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: you know, he was, he was older than me, like
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  Speaker 2: 14 years older than me. And I think with that relationship,
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  Speaker 2: I was 26 years old, I think when we got
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  Speaker 2: married and we had the wedding and it was one
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  Speaker 2: of those things where for, for three years, I wanted
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: his love and to be chosen. Cause he like, didn't
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: want me to be his girlfriend. And so I just
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: was like, like anxiously, like begging to be loved by
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  Speaker 2: this man. And I think once I got it, I
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: was like, wait a minute, I don't even want to
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  Speaker 2: do this person.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: And so when I was walking down the aisle, I
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: was like, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta end this. Like,
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: this is not what I want. And, but I know
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: me and I'm going to go have babies and then
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: I'm going to like have a divorce family. And for me,
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I grew up in a divorce family and that was
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: my nightmare was to have a divorce family of kids.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Cause I hated how I felt being pulled from like
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: house to house and like, you know, separating Christmases. And
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: I did, I didn't like any of it. So I'm like,
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't want that anxiety. And so I, I immediately
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: called it off. So to me, those two were not like,
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: that wasn't a wedding or a marriage.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 2: So Mike, you know, who I was with for seven years,
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, that was like, that was a, that was
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: a marriage. We grew old, we fought, we loved, we struggled.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, that is something where I look back on
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: and go, you know, yes, on paper, it's hard because
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: people are like, Oh, she's been married these many times.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, if you really break it down, like
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: that's an that's not what I would call a marriage
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: and a wedding, but.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Right. Exactly. And you share two children.
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  Speaker 2: We do.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: We have two kids together. We have a seven-year-old daughter
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: and then a four-year-old son. And, you know, we're like,
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: we're co-parenting the best we can right now. It's, it's,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: it's I think it goes in waves, but I think
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: after a season or the seasons of just like hurt
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: and now we're kind of, you know, he came and
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: met us for dinner yesterday. So amazing.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: And how is dating going after you guys have now
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: been separated and moved on kind of.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: So the first, well, at first it was fun. Cause
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: the girl, like I, I didn't get, I mean, my
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: ex was not, and you know, he was very public
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: about this on our, on our podcast when we did
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: it together, but like, he wasn't very affectionate. He wasn't very, um, loving.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And so with me at least.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: And so, um, with others, but not you.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Um, but so he, um, you know, when, when we
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: got divorced, I had just gotten my boobs done too.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: So like I had this new divorce body, like I
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: was feeling good. And so I think in the beginning, I,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie. Like the attention was kind
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: of nice. Like, well, at first, the first few months
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm never going to, no one's ever
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: going to love me. I'm going to be alone forever.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: And like, you know, like, I'm just like, who's, who
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: would want to be with me? And then it became, okay,
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: you know what? Like, I got a little attention and
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I think I liked it. And so that was a
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: fun season. And then dating wise, I mean, I've only
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: really had one boyfriend. Well, now minus my boyfriend now,
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: but I think with that one, I just kind of
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: picked the same person, just different face, but it was
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: a lot honestly due to me because I was still,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize how much work I still had to
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: do personally on myself because I was so anxiously wanting
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: a relationship and to be And to be loved and
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: to be validated through my relationship. Because I always put
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: my worth on whether or not I'm in a relationship
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: and I'm loved.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: The car is beautiful. Where did you end up going
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: for it?
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: This exclusive place that Dad has connections with. They have
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: more cars for more dealerships than like anywhere else.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: You have to put me in touch. What's it called?
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: It's Dune ADL.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: Where?
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: Dune ADL. There's an accent on the E.
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: Do you mean?
• 14:03
  Speaker 5: Yes, I got it on Done Deal Cars. Lift, please.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: You're going past Kimmage?
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: Oh, Kimmage.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: No.
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: Done Deal Cars. You couldn't possibly go anywhere else.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: You and I share in common, correct me if I'm wrong,
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: is that we both fall into this sort of love
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: addict category. And it's something that I've struggled with where
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: I sort of base my credibility or I've struggled with
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: basing my credibility on the person that I'm with. And
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: I struggle with being okay alone sometimes. And in the past, especially,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I've found my worth based on who loves me or
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: who I'm standing with. And, you know, I really struggled
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: with that in the past. And I felt that, you know,
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: if I was with somebody either famous or important, or
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: if everybody else wanted to be with that person, and
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: that person loved me, I was like, well, then I
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: must be lovable. Right. And that, you know, that was
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: the only way I could equate whether or not I
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: was worthy. And it had nothing to do with me.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: You know, it just it was really insane. And that
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: was really hard for me to learn that it was
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: OK for me to, like, take a breath, not date
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: somebody for a while and work on myself. And I
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: kept what you're talking about. I kept picking kind of
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: the same pattern of men. And, you know, some people
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: are like, oh, I always pick a narcissist or I
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: always pick whatever. but it was kind of just the
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: same person that made me feel worthy. And I found
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: that it was always people that everybody else wanted to
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: know or always wanted to be with because the bigger
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: the person, the more important the person and that person
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: wanted me. That is what gave me credibility because it
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: was like the bigger the deal, the guy made me
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: feel like I was the bigger deal because they gave
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: me the power, you know?
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So. It definitely, you know, there's, a hundred percent
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: or there's seven pieces in there that, you know, I can,
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: I can relate to. And I, I always equated, you know,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: if I was with someone, okay, then, then I'm, then
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: I'm loved worthy enough because they love me and they're
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: powerful and they're, you know, they're successful.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: And yeah. Yeah. And you guys struggled a lot though
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: with the cheating and he continually would do that. And
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: then you would trust him again. And then he would
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: fall back on that again. Right.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, what's interesting is when you say like,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: I trust him again, I think back now and I'm like,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: I don't think I ever regained trust. And I think
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: that was, you know, partially due to the fact that
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: anytime we'd ever get some steady ground, it'd be knocked
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: down again by another round of something or a text
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: or this or an affair. And so I don't think
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I really ever got steady ground with that relationship. And
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: so I you know, there were times where I'd be like,
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: I trust you. There was no chance in hell I
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: could have ever trusted him. And looking back, I'm like,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: my body did not trust him. So like just how
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I was like very anxiously attached post-divorce to that first
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: person I dated was because I just was like, the
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: control of like, not of losing something or like not
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: being in control of, um, you know, what's going to happen.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Cause I didn't have any control. I'm like, my family
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: could fall apart tomorrow. It's like, Oh my God, I
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: gotta like, I have to manage this and like, and, and,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: you know, make sure he doesn't do this or go there.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: And it's like, at the end of the day, like
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: that just caused like such wreckage. But I don't think
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: looking back, I could, even when I said, I trust you, like,
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: I don't, I didn't trust him. There was no way.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: And now I know like, how, what my body does
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: and who I become when I don't trust someone. And
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: that's what I told my boyfriend and like just people.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I know myself now. I cannot be with
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: someone that I can't trust because I do not like
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: the version I turn into. I don't like how it
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: makes me feel. I don't like the anxiety. And it's like,
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: and why? Like, I want to be with someone that
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: I can trust.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Right. And I remember worrying for you that it was
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: going to affect your self-esteem. Like, have you gotten to
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: the place where you realized that was not about you,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: that was about him and his self-control? Like, because it's so,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, from an outsider looking in, it so wasn't
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: about you and you not being worthy.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Like, you do know that, right? Um, you know, it's,
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: it's interesting when you say it because yes, I, I know,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: but there's always that little piece of me that goes, well,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: why wasn't I enough for him to change for me?
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: So like if, when he dates the next person or is,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what was it? Why wasn't maybe I enough
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: that he couldn't be that man for me? Or, and
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: so I don't know, like, yes, I could sit here
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: and say like, yeah, like I know. And I do
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: know I'm worthy and it wasn't me. And there was
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: But I also think there's a piece of, because of
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: just the damage and the belief that I felt for
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: so long, that it still stays. There's a little piece
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: that's kind of like, well, why? Why couldn't he change
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: for me?
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: Right. But it also could be the time in his life.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Eventually he may meet somebody and it has nothing to
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: do with her per se. It has to do with
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: him and the time in his life, the work that
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: he's done. whatever the circumstances are, you know, the lessons
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: he's learned and it's just totally different. So I hope
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: as your friend that you realize that it's not about you.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: And I genuinely, like I do. And like, I can,
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: you know, just like I know that if someone were
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: to cheat on me now, I'd be like, like, I'm
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: not going to take that on as I I'm bad.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Cause I would take that on as I'm bad. I'm
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: not enough. And so it, that it really is, it truly,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: it has nothing to do with me. I think just
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: like where... how deep that wound goes from like childhood
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: of not feeling enough that like, it'll like creep up.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: And then I have to like, then I have to go, okay,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: what's the truth? No, the truth is that it has
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: nothing to do with me. You know, I did everything
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: that I could and, you know, um, And I remember
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: someone said too, like, and I hope he changes from
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: that situation. I hope, you know, that because I was
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: a strong woman and like that he changed, he is
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: a better person because he was with me.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Right. A hundred percent. So speaking of cheating, I mean,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: it's so interesting that like.
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: The car is beautiful. Where did you end up going
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: for it?
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: This exclusive place that Dad has connections with. They have
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: more cars for more dealerships than like anywhere else.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: You have to put me in touch. What's it called?
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: It's Dune ADL.
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: Where?
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Dunediel.
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: There's an accent on the E.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: Do you mean.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: Yes, I got it on Dunediel Cars.
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: Lyft, please. You going past Kimmage?
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: Oh, Kimmage.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: No.
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: Dunediel Cars. You couldn't possibly go anywhere else.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: The news that's top stories these days in the news
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: is cheating scandals like this Vanderpump Rule stuff. Do you
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: follow that show?
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: So, okay. I do not watch the show, but we
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: broke it down on the podcast. I was like, okay,
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Tom is this and Tom did blah, blah, blah. And
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Raquel was, so like I've been told and now I
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: understand about it.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: So it's funny because I don't really watch the show either,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: but of course I've watched all the news that goes
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: around it. And what I find interesting about it Number
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: one is that everybody is talking about it, right?
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's crazy.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: It's dominating the news cycle. And the fact that everybody
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: from entertainment news to now, you know, the New York
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Times is covering the scandal. You know, they're on reality TV,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: so they're, you know, fair game kind of, and they
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: work in a bar. And so to me, it seems
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: like a little nuts. And also, these people weren't married, right?
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: So I also thought this was a little bit nuts.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: And to me, I think it's nuts because... You know,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Tom and this girl. No, the other girl. Alana? No, Adriana.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: We're so bad.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: I think it's, okay, yeah. Is it Ariana or Alana? Okay, whatever.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: The other girl. We're dating for nine years. I mean,
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: if he was going to marry her, don't you think
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: he would have married her by now? So, I mean,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know. So anyways, but they might have been
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: having some issues there. And then this other girl, Raquel,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: is using love addiction as her excuse for cheating, which
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: I found to be an interesting either PR move, or
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: maybe she's really using that as her excuse. What do
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: you think about that?
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting because we talked about it and her
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: apology is the definition of love addiction, but she doesn't
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: admit to being a love addict. So when I'm reading it,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, that is the definition of a love addict.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: So if I was to go sit down with my
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: therapist and say, okay, I think I have a problem.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: I've cheated. you know, with X, Y, and Z. And
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: they're going to say that, you know, that is the definition,
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: but she won't. But to my knowledge, I haven't heard
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: her say like, I'm a love addict, but so definition.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: So it's kind of like, listen, like we've, we've both
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: been there in these situations where we want to feel
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: loved and chosen. Sometimes it takes us to places where,
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: you know, we are not our best version and we
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: would like, you know, or the timing of maybe if
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: they're with someone like that's, you know, love addiction can
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: really cause havoc and it's a mess. But I think
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: at the core of it is we all want to
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: be loved and wanted and valued. And I think that
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: was just taken and love addiction takes it to the
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: next level. And so I think that's basically what she's
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: saying without calling herself a love addict, even though she
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: literally quoted what it is.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Right. So, I mean, I found it very interesting that
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: that was what her PR team or her came up with.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: And they kind of got it out of the dictionary,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: like you said. I mean, listen, being somebody who has
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: been in the circumstance where I admittedly have been the
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: other woman and do feel bad about it, I don't
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: know that I would use love addiction as my excuse,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: so to speak, right? I mean, I made decisions and
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I feel bad about them, but I know why I
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: did them and there were circumstances around it of why
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I did it.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: So I found that hard to swallow.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: So yes, but- So you're basically saying like she's using
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: love addiction as an excuse, kind of like a sex
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: addict would use sex addiction as an excuse?
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I find it hard when people have behaviors, do things,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: and then after the fact are like, well, I did
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: it because I was sick or whatever. You know what
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I mean? I think that that's a cop-out in my opinion.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: What I also think on a separate note, which I
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: think is nuts is the public's reaction towards the whole
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: thing and the level of anger that people are having
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: for a lot of these people. Like I get, I
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: think that the three of them have a lot of
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: issues to deal with between the three of them, but
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: the level of anger that I've heard from a lot
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: of these people talking about the scenario seems on a
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: different level. That's crazy. Like, When I read articles about
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: people chiming in saying that Tom should be losing people
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: at his bar, that people should walk out and not
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: work for him, I think that's nuts. I think people
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: hitting her in the face, if that's true or not,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: I think that's nuts. I think that's people being triggered
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: by their own personal things going on in their lives,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: that cheating is affecting them. And their anger coming out
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: on Raquel or Tom, I think that is nuts how
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: people are reacting to this story. And, you know, Lala
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Kent coming out and spewing all this venom and saying
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: all this crazy stuff, I think is actually really inappropriate.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Because I think it's actually a story between them. And
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: that kind of thing can really affect people's lives. I mean,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: the way that people treated me for, you know... actually
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: even up until now has been really difficult. And remember
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: our interaction on your show, even you really didn't like
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: me when I came on your show and we had
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: to kind of talk it out. But like you had
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: some anger towards me because I was the definition of
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: a mistress and you had been cheated on and you
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: had to realize I didn't actually hurt you personally. You
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? So I think a lot of
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: people have some major feelings towards her and she didn't
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: cheat on them. You know what I mean? So I
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: think it's, I think it's a little weird.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: And one, I also think too, when they're on the shows,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: like people think they're entitled to, to it all too.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: So I don't, I don't like cancel culture. I think
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: we're all extremely flawed and I think, you know, we
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: all make mistakes. And I think if we were all
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: to put our stuff out there, you know, on the table,
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: like we would probably take our own stuff back. And
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I just, yeah. I mean, what, what's hurtful is like.
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: The car is beautiful. Where did you end up going
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: for it?
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: This exclusive place that Dad has connections with. They have
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: more cars for more dealerships than like anywhere else.
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: You have to put me in touch. What's it called?
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: It's Dunaidial.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: Where?
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Dunaidial.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: There's an accent on the E.
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: Do you mean.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: Yes, I got it on Dundale Cars.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: Lift?
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: Please. You going past Kimmage?
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: Oh, Kimmage.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: No.
• 27:26
  Speaker 5: Dundale Cars. You couldn't possibly go anywhere else.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I don't like it when someone does something wrong and
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: then someone else feels like they can then be an
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: a-hole back because I'm like, you're just bullying a bully. Like,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: it's just like the whole thing is just like, it's
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: all just very mean. And I understand people are hurt
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: and things were done, you know, things, you know, are,
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: you know, weren't probably handled the right way. But again,
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: like we're all flawed. We all have things. And I
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: think at the end of the day too, it's, you know,
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: these are people's lives. These are people that need like
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: the works telling them to walk out. Like that's, that's
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: not okay. Like these people need jobs, money and supporting families.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: So it's a trickle effect. And I just, I just
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: wish people would operate from love instead of just like, yeah,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: like looking, you know, how I was with you in
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: the beginning, I operated with hate instead of love.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: So I looked at you and was like, ah, like
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: it's a vendetta against you. You didn't do anything to me.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: You know, I just put you in a category of
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: the other, you know, so. And that's what I think
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: they're doing. They're just putting her in a category that's like, oh,
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: we hate this category. Well, it's like, well, you don't know.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: And like, we all have, like we all, she coped
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: in a really bad way of wanting this, you know,
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: and we've all, again.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I said, we're all flawed.
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: We all make mistakes.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: Right, right, right.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: So you've kind of done a lot of work and
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: you know, a lot of stuff about love addiction. Do
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: you want to talk about the difference between love and
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: sex addiction?
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: So from, from my knowledge, and again, I'm not like,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: you know, I've, only from just sitting in on certain things,
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: the sex addiction piece is taking it to, um, you know,
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: maybe an excessive amount of porn or okay. Uh, escorts prostitutes.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, they, they take it to a whole other,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: like using sex, um, love addiction, you know, obviously just, um,
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: that other form is yeah. Like getting into situations like
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: Raquel did and, uh, to feel validated, chosen and loved and,
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: you know, I think at the core, nine out of
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: 10 people are love addicts. If you really like, there's
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: a quiz out there and I've had people take it
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: and more people checked the boxes because we all want
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: to be loved. Some people take it to an extreme
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: place to get that love and attention. Yeah.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: And I think so many people don't really know what
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: love addiction is, but they have heard more about sex addiction.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: And so they assume their partners are sex addicts or- Well.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: And people say like, people, I would always say to
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: my ex too, like, oh, that's just an excuse. And
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I mean, like, listen, people grab the bottle,
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: like And they act like a holes when they're drunk and, Oh,
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: it's just alcohol. No, but that's a problem. They have
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: a problem.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Just like sex addiction. He had a problem just like
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: love addiction.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: You're, you know, you're, you're cheating on a, let's just
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: say married man, whatever. Like that's, that's a problem. Like
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: to fill whatever that is inside. That's a problem, which
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: is why it's a disease and it's an addiction because
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: when it's like, I know in my twenties, like love
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: addict to my core, I was just like needing that
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: hole inside that. no man could ever fill. Didn't realize
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: that it had to be me. Learned that one the
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: hard way. Right.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: So now you're in what looks like a much healthier relationship.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: How have you gotten to that point? Because that gives
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: me hope. Tell me everything.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: It was truly just sitting with myself and just being alive.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: absolutely okay being alone because I could say, Oh yeah,
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I'm fine being alone. Like after my divorce, I was
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: not fine being alone. I was constantly scrolling or looking or,
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: you know, trying to find, you know, someone. And I
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: just got to a place where I'm like, it was,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: it was acceptance to be honest. And I was like,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to be alone forever because the story
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: in my head was I'm not good enough. I'm going
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: to be alone forever. So I got to find someone
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: that really like loves me and wants me. And that's
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: just not the truth. Like accepting the fact that you
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: are not going to be alone forever. There will be
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: someone that is going to love you, that wants to
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: be with you. And it's, you know, I had to
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: break down my walls of having, because I would push
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: guys away, good guys away, because I would call, I
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: would say, I'm not lovable. I'm not enough. There's no
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: way they're going to love me. And finally I had
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: to learn how to fricking love myself. I did. I
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: went to this retreat center that just changed my complete
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: outlook on just, I had so much shame that I
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: was carrying that I had no idea that I was
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: carrying and just did all this work on myself to
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: just get, you know, rid myself of that. Now I
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: still have moments of it, right. That kind of like
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: pop up, but like, again, I go to the truth.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: And so I think just acceptance getting, you know, healing
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: from the inside and just really just being okay with
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: myself and going, you know, yes, right now I love
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: the relationship in my, I'm in, I think he's wonderful
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: and I hope he's my person. And I've also gotten
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: to a place that I will be totally okay. If
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: not now, I could never say like, usually I would,
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: I would hold on because I'm like, I wouldn't want
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: him to leave. Like I, I, I guess I would
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: be sad, but like, I would, I will be okay.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: And how, how did you guys meet?
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: He DM to me. Oh my God.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: He did. And I, I kind of just was like,
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: like at that place, I was just, I didn't really
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: want to be in a relationship and he lived in
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: England and I was like, oh, I don't. So I
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: kind of let the DM go, but something just kind
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: of kept drawing me back to, to his DM. And
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: it was just very sweet and kind. And, uh, and
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: then we just, yeah, we started DMing back. And then,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: you know, after like a month or so of talking,
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: we got together and it was just with him. It
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: just feels, um, I feel very safe with him and
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: I feel, and I think it's because I've broken down
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: the anxious attachment inside because I was so massively anxiously attached,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: anxiously attached and a love addict together were like the
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: terrible combination. So it just kind of flows and it's just,
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: it feels really nice.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: Right. Yeah. I remember once being with someone who gave
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: me very good advice once and they told me that
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: you have to you know, they reminded me that you
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: shouldn't have to cling to somebody to know that they're
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: with you. That like, if you know that you can
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: let go of them and they are still with you
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: and you feel a tight bond, but that is really
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: when you have the best, closest bond with them. Do
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: So, yeah.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: So you have a long distance relationship with them? Yeah.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: He lives in England. But, you know, again, it's the
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: I'm just such in a mind space now where I'm like,
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: whatever is meant to be, will be whatever's meant to,
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: it's almost like I've taken some, like, I don't know,
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: like office space pill where I'm just like, I'm just,
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: everything is like, I just, I want everyone to be happy.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: I want my ex to be happy. I want to
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: be happy. I want you to, it's like, I just,
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like, whatever is meant to be is going to
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: be like, just, you know, I'm just trying to just
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: be grateful. And, you know, I, again, I, I really
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: would love to continue what we have going on. And
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: I have got, you know, I've got good feelings and
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: I have, you know, I'm in my brain, I, in
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: my heart, it's like, you know, there's things that I
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: would love to see, but also I know that I'll
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: be okay either way.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: Well, I love that you have faith and belief in
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: love time and time again, even though sometimes you keep getting, no,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: but you keep getting kind of shot in the heart
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: and then you keep coming back. I love that. It
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: just gives me such faith. I love that.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: Well, cause I just, I'm like, you know what? Like I,
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: I know I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm a sucker for love.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: I love, I love to love.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I really do.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: But it's just, I would rather that than, than not try.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Cause here's the deal. It's like, I feel like every
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: time the, I've the pickers getting better, right? Like you
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: learn and you grow and it's like, you know, you
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: see what you want and you don't want. And so you,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: the only way you can do that is to put
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: yourself out there and love and learn. And, you know,
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: with this relationship, if it doesn't work out, well, I'm
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: going to learn a lot of lessons for the next one.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: So that's something too, to, to, you know, to think
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: about as well. It's like, there, there are so many
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: lessons in everything you do. And I don't want to,
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be the jaded girl that's like
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: gotten her heartbroken or beat up and, you know, verbally,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: you know, physically abused. It's like, yeah, I have. And
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: also like, I still believe in love and I still
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: believe that like, it doesn't have to be that hard to,
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: you know, I think I've always just like, oh, my
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: exhausting options and everything's so hard. And it's like, it
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: doesn't have to be like, and now I'm in something
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: that shows me that it's like, when there's just honest,
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: true love, it doesn't have to be that fight all
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: the time.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: And also, it's such a good lesson for your children
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: to see you in a happy relationship. So many people
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: stay in a bad marriage just for their children. I'm
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: not somebody who believes in that. I'm a child of divorce,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: and I know that I've met a lot of people
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: that are in bad marriages because they think they should
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: stay in a marriage for their children. I don't believe
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: in that. I think it's totally okay for people to
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: get divorced so that they can provide a better life
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: for themselves and for their children. Talk to me about
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: motherhood right now for you and how that is being
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: a single mother.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure. And, you know, same, I grew up,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: you know, divorced parents and in my mind, they divorced
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: way too late. Like there are things that I saw
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: at 13 that I wish I never saw.
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: So it's like, you know, I don't want that. Did
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: I want to have separate holidays and have them go
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: to their mom and, you know, mommy and daddy's house? No,
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: not at all. Having said that, I can... Sure as
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: hell guarantee that my ex is a lot happier. We're
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: happier together. I mean, like we're actually like very friendly,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: you know? So it's like, we're, we laugh together probably
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: more now than we laughed together when we were married.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: So it's like, you know, it's, it's great for them
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: to see this version of us that I wish they
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: could have seen when we were married. But again, like that's,
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: that's done like have to move on. And now in
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: this space, it's, you know, I think in the beginning
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: it was really challenging. It was really hard. but now
• 37:38
  Speaker 2: that we've gotten into the groove, you know, I've, I've
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: got them 70% and, um, which is amazing. And, um, again,
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: he's very helpful if a movie comes up or, or travel. So,
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, we're, um, co-parenting is good. And for me,
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: I just, yeah, I want my kids to have fun.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: I want them to be happy kids. And, and, um,
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: you know, and I also love the fact that they
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: see me work too, because it's like, I have to
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: provide for them. I pay child support.
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, I gotta like, I gotta put my
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: head down and grind for them.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Right. So what's up next for you? What are, what
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: are the big things in your life coming up?
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: So podcasts, I have my wind down podcast. We tour that,
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: which is a lot of fun. I love meeting people
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: and going out there and, um, you know, just saying hi.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Cause you know, we talk about all this stuff on
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: there too. And it's just, it's, it's nice to just
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: like be open and hopefully, you know, help people around,
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: you know, along the road. And then, Um, I got
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: music coming out later this year. I'll be filming some
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Christmas lifetime movie at the end of the year. I've
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: been working on something that has, is very personal to me.
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: That'll come out later this year. Um, in a, I
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: can't really announce it yet, but they'll be able to
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: get their hands on it at the end of the year.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: So I'm very excited. Um, I've put a lot of
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: work into that. And so my mission is just to help,
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: you know, people not give up because it's, uh, I've,
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I've wanted to a bunch and I just, I think
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: we're all, we're all very deserving of love. And I
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: just hope people like, you know, to circle back to
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: like the Raquel's of the world, like, and just do
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: the work. Cause once you do it, like, and I
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: still have therapy in one hour. So it's like, I'm
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: going to just continue to learn and, and we all
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: are deserving of healthy love.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Right. Well, thank you so much. I'm always on your side.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I'm always rooting for you. You always give me hope.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: So I, really appreciate you. Thank you so much.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: I love you, friend. Thank you. The car is beautiful.
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: Where did you end up going for it?
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: This exclusive place that Dad has connections with. They have
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: more cars for more dealerships than like anywhere else.
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: You have to put me in touch. What's it called?
• 39:56
  Speaker 5: It's Dunaidial.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: Where? Dunaidial.
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: There's an accent on the E.
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: Do you mean.
• 40:05
  Speaker 5: Yes, I got it on Dundale Cars.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: Lift?
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Please.
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: Are you going past Kimmage?
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: Oh, Kimmage.
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: No.
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: Dundale Cars. You couldn't possibly go anywhere else.