Latest / Random Heathen Ramblings / Random Heathen Ramblings: S6, EP31 - Rooted In Purpose [feat. Joe Adams]

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Random Heathen Ramblings: S6, EP31 - Rooted In Purpose [feat. Joe Adams] · Random Heathen Ramblings

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Hello everyone, and welcome to the Random Heathen Ramblings
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etcetera, etcetera, and follow me along for all of those fun
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things. So today's guest, we do have a
2:57
guest lined up today. I was recently a guest on his
3:01
show, which I will be linking down in the description area of
3:04
this video on Patreon for all of you that are watching it, in
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case you hadn't seen it yet. And for those of you listening,
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head over to the show notes for that.
3:12
But I was recently on the Relentless Pursuit podcast and
3:16
Joe Adams is the host. I'm going to be talking to him
3:18
today. Really cool guy with how I came
3:21
across discovering him was kind of a neat story.
3:23
I don't know if he really went into that so much when we
3:26
initially talked, but we had a great episode on his show and it
3:30
and it planted a seed for us to want to collaborate some more.
3:34
So he is here today and we're going to be talking with him
3:36
about all kinds of things, his show, his lifestyle, where he's
3:40
come from. And yeah, so we're going to
3:43
bring him on here now. We've got him tuning in from
3:47
Brentwood, TN, I think. So.
3:49
Welcome to the show, Joe. What is up, man?
3:51
Yep. Here from Brentwood in my
3:53
studio, and it's an honor to be here, man.
3:56
I'm very grateful for the opportunity to be on your show.
3:59
This is awesome. Yeah, man, I, I appreciate you
4:02
wanting to. I, I don't know if you ever
4:05
reach out to people that you want to collaborate with and
4:08
it's like you either get crickets or they turn you down
4:10
and you go, you know. Yeah, I know, man.
4:15
I, I feel bad, you know, I can never live that one down now.
4:20
It was a, it was an interesting thing.
4:22
I was, I was going to say that when I, when I first discovered
4:26
who you are, I was scrolling through social media and it was
4:33
because you used to be in the Murfreesboro, TN area where I'm
4:35
where I live, right? Yes, Sir.
4:37
On a home base was, and I was in one of like the Murfreesboro
4:41
Facebook groups or something. And, and there was a post that
4:44
you had made talking about your, your brand relentless pursuit or
4:51
maybe it was a podcast episode or something.
4:53
And I go, I started like looking at you and I started like seeing
4:57
certain like imagery of some of the tattoos that you had.
5:00
And I go, that's looks pretty Pagan if you ask me.
5:04
So I started just doing some, you know, some snooping around,
5:07
some investigating. And I go, wow, this guy is local
5:10
to me. He's also Pagan.
5:13
And what, what are the odds? You know, you just, you never
5:17
know who you're going to run into or how you're going to run
5:20
into him. And that's how I initially
5:22
discovered he was just by scrolling through social media.
5:25
And your, your, one of your posts came up and I thought,
5:28
well, let me reach out to this guy.
5:31
And it took a while for me to get that first response, but I'm
5:34
glad you finally did. I know there was a lot going on.
5:36
We're going to talk about it. You had a lot going on in your
5:38
life and we're all busy and we all got things doing, you know,
5:41
that we got got to deal with. But we're here now.
5:44
So it was all worth it. I think it was faded for our
5:47
paths, the cross, cross, you know what I'm saying?
5:50
I mean, true. It's cool how it panned out too.
5:52
And I think the timing's just been perfect.
5:54
You know, it's it's good that it worked out after all that
5:58
craziness I was kind of going through at the time.
6:00
So yeah, I think it lined up beautifully.
6:02
That way we can be in better contact and help us adore that,
6:06
you know, opportunities like this and further growth together
6:09
as well. Yeah, yeah, Like I was when I,
6:13
when I after our show a few weeks back or whatever it was,
6:16
I, you know, I, I didn't know what I was walking into for per
6:20
SE. I, you know, talking to people
6:22
over emails or texts, you only get so much from that type of
6:28
interaction. And but like once I once I first
6:34
of all, once I got to the your studio there and got to meet you
6:37
in person, I'm like, I think I got AI got a good feeling about
6:40
this, you know, and I'm not the type of person to get my hopes
6:43
up or or hatch or was it count hit chickens before they hatch?
6:48
Yeah. Right before the horse.
6:49
You know, I'm very, I, I don't know, I guess I've, I've, I've
6:53
been around the block enough times to, to be, to learn
6:57
patience and, and to not get too excited about things, you know,
7:01
just off of a feeling, But at the same time, that gut feeling
7:05
that you get when it tells you something's wrong or something's
7:07
right. I got that feeling.
7:09
I think this is going to be the right move.
7:11
You know, I don't know how fine with that was like that for you
7:14
when we first met or, you know, when we first connected or or
7:16
what. But how was it like, how was it
7:18
for you when we first connected? I mean, dude, it was right off
7:23
The Batman after talking to you, just after a few minutes, I was
7:25
like, this guy's awesome. Yeah, we hit it off.
7:27
And I just even, you know, the little things talking about
7:30
music and just similar interests and that, that that already gets
7:34
me fired up because, you know, as you, as you know, like how
7:39
many people around here listen to black metal, right?
7:42
And then we're talking about like synth wave, you know, like
7:46
nobody listens to that. And so it's funny because like,
7:48
I'm, I'm just kind of like into my own things around here.
7:52
Like I connect with a lot of people, but my interests are
7:55
vastly different than a lot of people as well.
7:57
So running into you, I'm like, oh dude, this is like hanging
8:00
out with one of my boys in my crew, you know what I'm saying?
8:03
Right. So yeah, you're not going to
8:05
typically see the likes of us strolling down Broadway, you
8:07
know, on a Friday night downtown Nashville, you know, honky tonk
8:11
in it up like we're not, I don't know about you, but that's just
8:14
not my thing. And and that's not the thing.
8:16
And they're done, that man. You know, when I was younger,
8:19
visiting when I was in the military, coming up here,
8:21
visiting my family and stuff, of course, you know, part of the
8:24
military culture was, you know, partying, right?
8:26
So, yeah, go down, do that. But things have changed so much.
8:30
I do everything I can to avoid that.
8:34
Yeah. I think I hit that phase too in
8:36
my younger years, you know, when, when you have downtime
8:39
and, and the, and the, the space that you fill that downtime is,
8:44
is, it's reckless. A lot of it, you know what I
8:46
mean? We've, we've, I think we've all
8:49
hit that phase of our lives when it's, you know, nowadays when I
8:52
have downtime, I'm thankful for it and I just want to chill.
8:55
I just want to, you know, chill at the house, man.
8:57
If I'm going to have some drinks, let me do it at the
8:58
house. I don't even want to go out and
9:00
have drinks anymore. You know what I'm saying?
9:01
It's cheaper if you do it at home anyway.
9:03
Oh. That's your jam.
9:05
But yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm much more of a kind of a home
9:10
buddy. Man, I feel it was like a, you
9:13
know, vacations, right? Like, you know, people like
9:16
going to the beach and this and that.
9:17
Yeah, that's all great. But like if people are like,
9:19
which what do you want to do for vacation?
9:21
I'm like, man, I want to go on vacation when it's like January
9:24
in the mountains. Hopefully there's snow and a
9:27
cabin and I can just chill there and have fires and, you know,
9:30
just do my thing and eat. That's that's like a perfect
9:35
time to me, you know what I'm saying?
9:37
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm where I'm originally from in New York.
9:42
You know, the the winters used to and nowadays I don't know if
9:45
it seemed like almost everywhere has just gotten milder in in, in
9:50
climate, but I do remember the winters being winter.
9:55
You know, we'd get snow and sometimes at the end of October
9:57
and it wouldn't be, it wouldn't melt until, you know, April
10:01
sometimes completely like it wouldn't be gone from until
10:04
April. And so, you know, living where,
10:06
where my parents, the house that they got when we moved off of
10:09
Long Island, it was on about almost 17 acres of, of, you
10:14
know, with woods. And that's all I wanted to do in
10:17
my spare time as a kid was, man, you know, I didn't want to sit
10:19
in front of the TV or play video games or go to the mall or do
10:22
any of the things that the kids, you know, in the early 2000s
10:25
were doing. I, I wanted to be in nature.
10:27
I wanted to be out in the woods. I wanted to get dirty.
10:30
I wanted to, you know, that's where I wanted to be and that's
10:34
kind of where I still want to be.
10:35
You know, it's funny because that I mean, that's like, you
10:39
know, I'll talk to you about my brothers, like that's what we
10:41
do. You know, that's how I enjoy my
10:43
time. But I did go through the phases
10:45
growing up. I mean, I moved around a lot.
10:47
So just trying to like find my, you know, when you move a lot,
10:51
you kind of just trying to find some friends and stuff.
10:55
So you kind of just get into what other people are into, I
10:57
guess. I don't know, I didn't have like
10:58
a one community I grew up in, so I did all the stuff like going
11:02
to the mall and freaking, you know, all playing video games.
11:06
Now I don't even own a game system.
11:08
You know, like I do wish I could just jump on and play like Elder
11:12
Scrolls for a little bit every once in a while.
11:14
But then that turns into like a four hour process.
11:17
You know, you just do that for 20 minutes.
11:20
So I just, like, got rid of all that kind of stuff because it's
11:23
just distracting. And I got, you know, my free
11:26
time. I got my family and stuff like
11:27
that. So yeah, man.
11:29
And but now I'm just obsessed with just being out in the
11:31
woods, being out in nature, doing things like that.
11:33
Like you can't get enough of it, man.
11:36
It's where we it's where we're meant to be.
11:38
I think, you know, as people, as as a species, it's kind of our,
11:43
that's our design because we are nature.
11:45
We talked about that last time you and I spoke.
11:48
Yeah. How much of that we are.
11:51
Yeah, yeah. I never come out of the woods
11:54
and like, dude, that sucked, you know?
11:58
Right. Yeah.
11:59
Like it's never a bad experience, even if, like
12:02
there's been times I've been out in the woods or camping or
12:04
whatever and it's stormed, you know, but it's never been still
12:07
then it's never been a so it's a little gnat.
12:11
It's never been a bad time, you know?
12:13
So yeah, man, that's exactly what we're meant to be.
12:17
You know, downtown, Yeah, a 5050 chance you're gonna have a bad
12:20
time. Right, yeah.
12:22
I can't stand the smell of that. Just that that burning pavement,
12:25
man. It's just it's like toxic ain't.
12:28
No good. Yeah, but man, you are a, you
12:33
are Pagan just for for clarification purposes, right,
12:36
You do identify as a as a Pagan. Is it?
12:40
Would you say you're Norse dramatic?
12:42
Do you? Do you really care?
12:44
What would be your? I'd say Germanic, you know,
12:47
that's like the emphasis, right? But I also, I've also used like,
12:51
you know, maybe different terms, right?
12:52
Like if someone asked, I'm like, I just, I believe in the old
12:55
ways, you know, just because sometimes titles tend to, you
13:04
know, unfortunately, Hollywood's painted a picture of what Pagan
13:07
is, right? And so it, it means so many
13:10
different things today as as opposed to how it used to be in,
13:14
in my opinion. So I would say, you know, I
13:17
believe in the old ways. Obviously people can take that a
13:20
certain way too, right? But you think I, you know, even
13:24
use a term like Vedic heathenism, heathenism, right?
13:27
Because that tie in of the end of European phase, right?
13:30
So a lot of, you know, especially the Germanic path is
13:34
very much an emphasis is what I'm most connected to through my
13:38
ancestry and everything like that.
13:40
But you know, you see the history in the age of the Vedic,
13:44
the Vedic scriptures and you see that all these things connect to
13:49
that. You know, there's a there's a
13:50
huge emphasis on that study too, and that that worship.
13:53
So, but yeah, definitely more like in line with the Germanic
13:57
sense of things all. Right, I can see that.
14:01
Yeah. Yeah, I've lost a little bit of
14:03
the title. I use heathen as the term
14:06
because that is the, the definition of the paganism of
14:11
the Germanic people, right? They're they're native, pre
14:14
Christian native beliefs. That's what that's the name that
14:17
they became known by. And so that's the term that I
14:21
use. But I don't like a little bit
14:24
like yourself, maybe in some ways, but I, I don't really hang
14:28
too much on the title per SE. You know, the spirituality, a
14:34
lot of my world views are are heathen and and that way, but
14:38
there's other parts that probably wouldn't necessarily
14:42
fall under that category. So I don't try to, I don't try
14:45
to like limit myself in under this ceiling of, of titles, you
14:50
know, genuine, be true, be, be, be, be real, you know.
14:56
Yeah, I'm, I'm right there with you, man, heathen, You're 100%
15:00
right. But even then, like that gets
15:02
used out of context. Someone's like, Oh, they're
15:04
you're just some Hayden, like just mean, like Hellraiser, like
15:08
some term for like someone wild. But no, that's not what that
15:13
that's not even close what that stands for.
15:15
So it's just kind of funny how how people use the the different
15:18
terms because, you know, in reality, they're so old, but
15:23
people don't really understand those things.
15:25
And you know, a lot of people, you know, faith, the varying
15:29
faiths, they don't want to understand those things as well.
15:35
You're right. You know, it's like, Oh no,
15:37
that's no. And so you know, because I've
15:41
run into that a lot. There was a, well, there was a
15:49
something that that, that I don't know if it's how old it is
15:51
or, or, or I just learned about it today, but there's this like
15:56
little, little toy figurine that people are saying is like a
16:05
inhabited by a Mesopotamian demon called Pazuzu.
16:08
Have you heard about this? I know.
16:10
It's like little, Yeah, yeah, right.
16:12
I've heard that. No, but there's apparently
16:14
there's this doll that that or not doll, but like a little toy
16:17
or figurine that's made by I think a Japanese manufacturer.
16:21
So that's also funny. The fact that it's, you know,
16:24
manufactured in Japan or from, from a Japanese manufacturer and
16:28
you're going to test or, or, or tie a demonic possession to some
16:33
Mesopotamian deity. Like why not Japanese?
16:35
Why not Asiatic? Why not you?
16:39
Know I'm gonna order one and put it here in the studio just on
16:41
display and just my equipment's messing up.
16:45
It's the the Japanese Mesopotamian demon.
16:49
Yeah, yeah. But there was like, I don't
16:53
know, I'd rather I forget why I brought that up.
16:56
But you were saying like people don't like to talk about things
16:59
that, you know, they don't understand.
17:02
And I'm like, well, you're, you're doing it to yourselves.
17:05
You're making up stories about something that has nothing to do
17:08
with anything and, and calling, you know, and then scaring
17:10
people because of it. Like parents don't want their
17:14
kids to have them because they've they're they're
17:16
possessed by demons. I'm like you.
17:18
You're telling me that a you know how far back does
17:20
Mesopotamia go in history, right?
17:23
You're telling me that this ancient demonic figure, this
17:27
ancient deity or whatever from this really, really old part of
17:32
the world waited this long to inhabit a child's toy?
17:37
You know what I mean? Like, it hasn't been floating
17:40
around inhabiting other things ever since.
17:42
Like, come on. And it's interesting you point
17:45
that out too because, you know, a lot of people, you know, faith
17:50
is such a big thing, right? So like, I had my beliefs.
17:55
So, you know, listening to like, black metal, there's a lot of
17:58
satanic imagery, right? I just think a lot of that stuff
18:01
looks cool. I might do these big old, like,
18:04
scary looking things. I'm like, yeah, these are cool
18:06
monsters, you know? And people kind of get confused
18:09
by that. They're like, how does that not
18:13
bother you or freak you out? You know, you hear stuff like
18:15
that and I'm like, man, but I don't believe in that.
18:17
So when someone's like, Oh well, Satan's, you know, going to be
18:19
working history in your life, I'm like, well, I don't believe
18:21
in Satan in that, in that way, right, I think.
18:25
But if you like kind of, I don't know spirituality, man, if you
18:28
like do like believe this little demon thing is going to mess
18:32
with you. I hate to use the word manifest
18:36
it, but you kind of manifest that that energy into your life,
18:40
right, You created on your own and if you're you're.
18:43
And it becomes that. Affect you.
18:45
It becomes that. Does that make sense?
18:47
For sure, I've, I've, I've, I've gotten into a recent philosophy,
18:53
if you want to call it of we become what we create.
18:57
So when we create whatever it is an idea, a movement, we become
19:05
that if we believe in it, we it, it's something that becomes us,
19:08
you know. And so be careful of what you
19:12
are creating out here. Make.
19:14
Sure that it's something good. Make sure that it's something
19:17
you know that that change that the transformation.
19:19
The things that come are for the good and are for the, for, for,
19:24
for the betterment of yourself and not, you know, and for
19:27
others too, which as I, what I see you doing, Joe, I think you
19:31
know, from, from our conversation the last time and
19:34
just following you a bit on your social media posts.
19:38
It's it's very clear that you have gone through a lot, but it
19:42
has helped kind of shape you into who you are today.
19:48
Oh, in every single way, man, without a doubt.
19:51
Some of the things though, I think could you know, if people
19:54
knew a bit about your origin story would probably be really
19:58
inspiring because I think there's, there's plenty of
20:02
people who have gone through. Similar types of ordeal and
20:08
maybe struggling with how to how to how to work through those
20:12
things, you know, 'cause they can they can be so devastating
20:16
childhood traumas, military service, a motorcycle accident
20:19
are some of the things that we talked about that maybe my
20:21
listeners and others that catch the show don't know a little bit
20:23
about you. So I was wondering if you, if
20:25
you could like maybe bring us back to the origins of Joe Adams
20:29
and. What got you to where you are
20:31
today? So like, all the way back, huh?
20:34
As far back as you want to go. OK, I mean, yeah, I'll, I'll
20:38
touch on it briefly, man. You know, I was born in well, I
20:42
say briefly, some, some of it briefly, but I'll definitely go
20:44
in detail where it where it hits.
20:48
So I was born in Tampa Bay, Florida to my parents, Mark and
20:53
Jan. They're still together.
20:55
They're I got great parents. I'm very blessed with, with them
20:59
and who they are and how accepting they are of me.
21:02
And just, you know, it's, it's a really cool relationship.
21:05
I have a little sister and we kind of moved around a lot, man,
21:09
I, I spent most of my life in the South, actually all my life
21:12
in the South, you know, moved around in Georgia a few times,
21:16
got a lot of family there. Moved out to Texas for a year or
21:19
two, a couple years and then back to Georgia and then up to
21:22
North Carolina. And then I I joined the military
21:25
out of North Carolina and, you know, my childhood was good.
21:29
You know, we're all very close, spent a lot of time with our
21:33
family, my mom's side of the family specifically because, you
21:37
know, like I said, most of them were in Georgia and just all in
21:40
the South. But you know, I had a good
21:44
childhood, right? And, you know, I think it was a
21:49
little tough because I moved a lot.
21:51
So when I moved, obviously you're this new kid, you're
21:54
moving quite a bit. You're like, people mess with
21:56
you, right? You get picked on, you know?
21:58
I understand, like, OK, bullying's part of it, right?
22:01
You know, people say that all the time.
22:02
And yeah, I guess I get it, you know?
22:05
But at the same time, you're always, you find yourself always
22:10
trying to fit a mold, you know, you don't want to get jacked
22:14
with whenever you move somewhere new, you know what I'm saying?
22:17
And I guess it helped I was always involved in sports.
22:20
But still that, you know, that wasn't, you know, everybody's,
22:25
most people are involved in sports.
22:26
I guess that I was around and I'm trying to think so.
22:30
Yeah, I spent like, I mean, like I said, pretty normal childhood,
22:34
very traditional. My dad did, did good.
22:36
If there were tough times, you know, I wasn't very aware of it.
22:40
He always already travelled a lot and you know, he, he did
22:45
what he had to do for his family and my mom was always present
22:48
and taking us to things and just very involved as well.
22:52
So I had AI had a beautiful childhood and but The thing is,
22:56
I don't really, you know, there's been blocks as I've
22:59
gotten older. I'm like, dude, I just for some
23:01
reason, I can't remember a lot of stuff and my mom would have
23:04
asked me. She's like, you had so many good
23:06
memories and I, I could definitely recall some, but at
23:10
the same time, you know, it's like, why is it so hard to
23:13
remember? And so moving forward and we'll
23:16
get back to that. So moving forward, you know, I
23:20
got to high school, you know, when I moved the beginning of
23:25
high school in North Carolina, I had like a growth spurt over
23:27
this man. There's a gnat in my freaking
23:28
office is driving. You're just waving at each other
23:31
over here, guys. It's, it's just doing this
23:36
right, right around my face, fine.
23:38
All right, He just wants an appearance.
23:41
You have to book. You have to book a different
23:43
time there, buddy. You know, we got a guest
23:44
already. We need to.
23:45
Book a different Yeah, you know, but so let me think so moving,
23:54
yeah, getting into high school, I had a big growth spurt.
23:56
I moved to a really small town on Pilot Mountain, NC.
24:00
Man, it's like. I know exactly where you're
24:01
talking about. OK, yeah, pilot's small.
24:04
You know Andy Griffin's show. Yeah.
24:06
Yep, we just went through there a couple months ago, my wife and
24:09
I back in March actually. Yeah, last year I drove through
24:12
there and it hadn't changed in 15 years since I was last back
24:16
there. And I was like, Yep, still the
24:17
same little town. My wife was like, you know, I
24:20
expected Smithville, but this is smaller than that because that's
24:22
where she. Yeah, telling you.
24:26
But I had this growth spurt, you know, I was an athlete and, you
24:29
know, so I moved in to the school and, you know, it was
24:32
good. You know, I had the girlfriends,
24:34
played the sports and, you know, no one messed with me.
24:38
And I guess because I was a big dude and, and I think, you know,
24:43
having my experience growing up, you know, I always just like, I
24:46
think that kind of taught me just to always be kind to
24:48
people. So it's a positive, right?
24:51
Because I know it's feels like to be like, you know, maybe
24:54
mistreated. And so I moved there and I was
24:57
just always kind of everybody, I got along with everybody, but I
25:00
was still trying to fit this mold, man.
25:01
Like you look at me in high school, I was, you know, polo
25:05
shirts and khaki shorts, you know, like a a jock, you know,
25:11
it was ridiculous and it was different than who I am now as
25:15
opposed to like when I was in middle school, you know, I'm
25:17
painting my fingernails black and, you know, listening to new
25:20
metal and like cold chamber and stuff.
25:22
And I'm like. Right.
25:24
Stud bracelets on like, I couldn't wait to go to Hot
25:26
Topic, right? Yeah.
25:28
Did you? Ever get into like the eyeliner?
25:31
Eyeliner. I think my dad, I don't know
25:33
what he would have said. They were already the hell with
25:35
the the black fingernails. You know, yeah, yeah.
25:39
Well, because I'm just like kind of opposing the mole.
25:42
But I think, you know, thinking about it, it's like, again,
25:45
certain experiences kind of push you into different directions.
25:50
And but, yeah, so I got through high school and I was so focused
25:56
on just being who I could be, being this person in high
26:00
school, like just having fun, you know, playing sports,
26:03
partying that like, I never really focused on who I was.
26:08
You know, I like it. Sure.
26:09
I was Christian because everybody else was, you know,
26:12
that's what I was supposed to do.
26:13
So yeah, everything else is wrong.
26:15
You know, I stuck. I stuck with that.
26:18
And, you know, I got through high school.
26:21
I had terrible grades. I barely graduated and I got
26:24
accepted to a military college now that my dad had went to in
26:28
Charleston called the Citadel and my grandfather went there as
26:32
well. So I was like a legacy thing.
26:33
I shouldn't have got accepted because my GPA but again went
26:38
there more so for the reason actually funny thing too.
26:42
Before that, I was like in high school, I got like pulled onto
26:46
the like the competition cheerleading team.
26:49
So I was like a competition cheerleader too, bro.
26:51
And I was like an instructor for like colleges and stuff.
26:54
So I had like the coolest job after high school, just like, I
26:58
don't know, I was like 18. I'm like running around at cheer
27:01
camps, like having a good old time, getting paid a bunch of
27:04
money. I'm like, dude, I'm a stud.
27:05
You know, it was like the coolest thing ever because I got
27:09
a lot of opportunity through that.
27:11
But I I stayed for it. I was like, you know what?
27:14
I got to go to the Citadel, man. I was there for two weeks and I
27:17
said, I hate this. And I realized like, I'm doing
27:21
this for somebody else. And I was always doing things to
27:25
like, and a lot of people fall in this trap, man.
27:29
Like we do so much just to please others or yeah, I think
27:34
that we're pleasing others, like fit feeling some kind of
27:36
expectation. You know what's detrimental,
27:39
man? Because we're all in our own
27:40
journeys, right? And so I left.
27:45
I was like, no, I'm not doing this.
27:47
My dad was disappointed when he picked me up.
27:50
I could see it in his eyes. You know, he didn't say much,
27:52
but he didn't tell me he was disappointed.
27:54
But I can tell. I knew he was let down.
27:57
Yeah. And I went to a college called
27:59
Gardner Webb in North Carolina. I don't know if you've heard of
28:02
Gardner Webb. It's probably about 45 minutes
28:06
from, like, east of Charlotte. OK.
28:08
North Carolina, that area. Right.
28:12
Went to this Baptist college, started off OK, you know, two
28:17
weeks in, I'm meeting some new friends and, you know, smoking
28:20
some weed with them and stuff. And then it just like, dude, it
28:25
went downhill. I was like, I don't know what I
28:27
want to do in my life. Then I got introduced to pills,
28:29
right? So I got addicted to Xanaxes and
28:33
Kelana pins. I was doing all kinds of sketchy
28:35
stuff just that fix right, And I got to the point where I mean
28:40
I'd be doing 8 of them at a time, you know, I'd smoke them,
28:45
I'd snort, I'd do whatever, you know, there was just no holds
28:47
bar man. I just like went down the deep
28:51
end and that was every single day.
28:55
And I was scrounging for changes to get stuff or run around doing
28:58
things for my dealer guy just to so he hooked me up for free, you
29:02
know, and it's a dark place, but I think I was so well, I know I
29:09
was really just so disappointed in myself and I felt like such a
29:14
disappointment for ruin and a good opportunity that it just
29:18
like tormented me. And I really the only way to get
29:23
out of that was just to numb it, you know, was just to like turn
29:27
this off and like those kind of pills mixed with alcohol.
29:30
I mean, it's a, it's a blackout all the time.
29:33
Yeah, it's a mighty eraser. Yeah.
29:36
Yeah. Yeah, man.
29:38
And so it was just, it was terrible.
29:40
And it, I'm pretty sure I failed every class.
29:44
You know, I was telling my parents I was doing all right,
29:46
but I could only ride that out for so long.
29:48
Eventually they're going to find out I was failing.
29:51
And I'll tell you what, man, I at the end of that school year,
29:58
I like, I had a wild night and I like had, I don't know where I
30:02
got them, but they had ate like a whole thing of Oreos.
30:05
I got some munchies, you know, and I ate like an entire family
30:09
thing of double Oreos, right? Which I mean, I would do that
30:13
today on a good day, you know what I'm saying?
30:15
Right. Yeah, yeah.
30:16
They are that good. Yeah, but I was at the worst
30:19
part of my health ever, right? Like I, you know, I wouldn't
30:22
play sports. I wasn't working out.
30:23
I was just eating and doing drugs and running around.
30:28
Yeah, and I hid it all very well when I was at home.
30:31
But anyways, I had a moment and I would go home on the weekends,
30:37
you know, I was only an hour and a half away.
30:39
Most weekends I'd go home and hang out my best friend and we,
30:41
we do pills, all that stuff. And man, I woke up that morning
30:46
though, and I remember going in the dorm bathroom and I just was
30:49
looking in the mirror and I remember looking at myself just
30:53
like, dude, I just felt this so much hatred and disgust toward
30:58
the person I was looking at. Like I knew that that person was
31:02
not me. It just hit me.
31:04
I was like, dude, I don't even know this person.
31:07
And I remember just saying like, I can hate you.
31:14
And I like literally can remember like walking away from
31:17
that mirror and that person stayed there and I left this
31:23
person behind, you know? And people talk about, you know,
31:27
it's all like the perspective, right?
31:29
People talk about self hatred being a negative thing.
31:31
But to me that was like that self hatred was the biggest form
31:35
of love I ever show myself because I was able to escape a
31:40
world of addiction because of that.
31:44
You know when I know people that have died or are still in that
31:48
hole, like hooked on that shit since those days man.
31:52
And they haven't faced themselves yet.
31:55
Yeah, and it just man, it hit me so hard and I went into my dorm
31:59
room. I called my best friend at the
32:00
time and I was like, hey dude, I'm going to a recruiter and
32:04
he's like, I'm going with you. So, you know, Long story short,
32:09
we both, we, we talked to like some, some people that had been
32:14
in the military and stuff and then Marine, Marines, Army, they
32:17
were like, go Air Force, if you can get in, go Air Force.
32:20
And I was all right. So we went to an Air Force
32:22
recruiter and we signed up, you know, and then in the 2019
32:31
getting sent off the basic training.
32:36
Wait, so you were you? You were still an addict.
32:41
You looked in the mirror one night, said I hate you, and then
32:46
join the Air Force. Yeah.
32:49
So there was, there were, there was no like, did you have to
32:52
detox or anything? I mean, like, because I'm
32:54
thinking that's crazy on the substances that you were on to
32:56
just go from that to be like, I'm going to go jump out of an
32:59
airplane now and or whatever, you know what I mean?
33:01
Like that's crazy. So what it was like period, you
33:04
know, like obviously you got to detox, but by the time you go
33:07
get you're getting tested and stuff like you get that stuff
33:10
gets out of your system, right, You know, and you know, so I
33:16
needed to is I needed to escape that.
33:17
I knew if I stayed around there, tried to keep going to college,
33:21
I just knew I was going to stay spiraling, right, And I just
33:26
needed that like, you know, like a lot of people, I needed that
33:29
structure. I needed that like something to
33:31
hold me accountable every day. I needed a standard to be held
33:34
at and my dad, my parents are great, but like this isn't to
33:40
knock them because I know how much they love me.
33:45
But it was just like, I don't know, maybe it was just hard for
33:49
them to be like, get your shit together, you know, like.
33:52
Well, yeah, you know, I mean, I think at some point when we grow
33:55
out of our youth into young adulthood, the role of our
33:59
parents, obviously the relationship changes and the
34:03
caregiver, the the, the, you know, the one that that brings
34:07
us up, that person is no, is, is no longer there, right?
34:11
They're not there to guide us through adulthood.
34:14
They they, they gave us everything that they could
34:17
before then to prepare us for that or to, you know, get us
34:21
into that. But once you're there, once
34:23
you're like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not their job anymore
34:26
to give you structure or give you any of that.
34:31
Like it's on you now and how you're going to figure that out.
34:35
You know, maybe like for some it is to to enlist in the military
34:39
or for others it might be, you know, go to join a, a seminary
34:42
and go to theological theological school or whatever,
34:45
you know what I mean. And for others it's different,
34:46
so. Yeah.
34:49
That's quite a, that's quite a jump though, from from being
34:51
addicted to pills and booze and, and all this stuff and then just
34:54
being like, I'm going to go join the Air Force and, and then you
34:57
did it. Yeah, man, just I did it, you
35:00
know, I was like, and it real quick and, you know, and I think
35:02
a lot of it, my mom wouldn't say anything because she went
35:05
through like a cheat horrific childhood, youngest of seven
35:09
siblings, you know, half of them are dead now while all from drug
35:14
use, all this stuff. And my grandpa like just beat
35:19
everybody to hell. And so my mom, I think was she's
35:23
so loving because she's the only one that kind of escaped that,
35:28
that life, you know, like we still spend time with everybody
35:33
afterward. But like my mom's only one that
35:35
really like out of her whole family that moved forward and
35:38
had like a normal family and stuff, you know.
35:42
And so I think maybe she just wasn't seeing how like her
35:45
examples were. Maybe she wanted, she was just,
35:47
it was too hard for her to be like this at me, right, Just
35:52
based off of maybe what she saw. You know, that may be my
35:55
assumption because I know I just know her.
35:59
Maybe it'd be worth asking. But regardless, you know, I had
36:02
to find my way, right? My, I mean, it's all part of
36:05
where I'm at today. And I'm grateful for the
36:07
addiction and all that stuff. It's, it's, I think I just like
36:10
it's, I'm grateful for the fact that I overcame it, but also I'm
36:17
grateful just to have experienced it and survived it.
36:19
And now, just now I had that understanding and I'm able to
36:22
connect with people that are in that place or have been through
36:25
that place, right? So I think it was just part of
36:28
the journey, right? Yeah, sounds like it.
36:32
Sounds like it was a pivotal moment.
36:35
To sort of prepare you for what was to.
36:38
Become your mission in life. Oh yeah, 110%.
36:44
You know, get like what? Because most people, I can talk,
36:47
I can connect with people on almost anything nowadays, you
36:50
know, but so I had to like go through these.
36:53
It's like, ah, let's dip you in this, let's start you in this,
36:55
let's start you in this. You know, that's just how fate
36:58
had it. And so, but yeah, going to
37:01
military, man, I wanted to be like a special operations, like
37:05
PJ, you know, and I wasn't, I, I joined the Air Force as soon as
37:09
I could. I went in and you know, I went
37:12
to basic in November 2019 and I joined as a weapons troop.
37:18
So I worked on F20 twos and I loaded the missiles and bombs
37:21
and stuff and that was cool, you know, but my whole intent was to
37:25
like cross train into special operations.
37:27
And so I signed for six years. I was like, dude, I'm going to
37:30
be in for 30 years, Chief Joe Adams and you know, I'm going to
37:35
cross train and go be special operations and jump out of
37:38
planes and do cool stuff. And don't get me wrong, my job
37:41
was cool, but they, you know, were like, oh, you get to do
37:45
that in like a year. And so when I joined like 4 1/2
37:49
years into my six year enlistment, they're like, Oh,
37:51
well, if you want to cross train and I might listen, I'm already
37:53
1 foot at the door at this point.
37:55
And so, yeah. And so while I was, you know,
37:59
and while I was enlisted, man, I was stationed in Florida station
38:02
in Panama City, did get deployed.
38:05
I, you know, travelled around a bit and, you know, I did my
38:08
thing again, a lot of partying. You know, I'd almost say that
38:12
addition came back around in a way because, you know, I'm going
38:15
out every weekend with the guys getting blackout drunk.
38:17
Like, you know, you're 19, let's throw you in Panama City Beach.
38:21
You know you're an adult now, right?
38:23
Yeah, I mean, that's that's the place to be an adult.
38:25
Yeah, right. And so, you know, and at one
38:29
point I was engaged while I was there.
38:32
So I was engaged to this girl. My one of my uncles had moved
38:36
out that way too, because he's kind of a part of this.
38:39
And I was engaged, man. And like, dude, as soon as I
38:41
proposed, like all the red flags went up.
38:45
She was like, you know, I think you've got you're like a boy
38:47
with all your dreams and aspirations.
38:49
You should probably stay in. And and I was like, whoa, OK,
38:54
yeah, yeah. I was like, we're going to cut
38:56
this off now. I could see where this is going.
38:59
And so I separated from that and moved in with my uncle because I
39:03
had like a year and some time left.
39:08
And, and that without going too deep into, I got involved with
39:11
like the motorcycle Club World, you know, and because he was, he
39:15
was in a club. Yeah.
39:17
And don't get me wrong, it was fun.
39:20
I had a Harley, you know, and you know about one when I was
39:23
deployed and had it ordered and, and got on that.
39:27
But, you know, I was around that a lot.
39:28
So that I, I was like, man, this is brotherhood.
39:30
This is cool. You know, I'd even go over to
39:32
the clubhouse in uniform after work every once in a while and
39:35
like swing shift and like have a beer and then talk with
39:37
everybody. And that was, that was pretty
39:41
wild. But, you know, I was still
39:43
enlisted. So I was, you know, I'm not
39:44
trying to be too crazy, but it plays a part moving forward in
39:48
my life, which is why I bring it up.
39:52
And Long story short, man, I separated in I don't know why I
39:58
said November 2019. I enlisted.
40:02
I've I enlisted November 2009. Sorry, it was a.
40:06
OK, gotcha. That was like not all that long
40:08
ago. So I got out November 2015.
40:16
And so, yeah, then I moved up this way.
40:19
I moved up to Middle Tennessee. My family had moved here while I
40:24
was enlisted and I loved it. You know, I, I just thought
40:29
Middle Tennessee was great. I was like, man, the mountains
40:31
are right there. Like, you know, it seems like
40:33
there's a lot of opportunity here.
40:34
It's a good place to, you know, settle up.
40:37
So I moved up this way and started going to school at
40:42
Middle Tennessee State and, you know, just kind of figuring that
40:46
out. I was like, I don't know what I,
40:47
what major I was or anything, but I was like, you know, I'm
40:49
going to use my benefits, I'm going to get paid to go to
40:51
college. So I, it gives me time to figure
40:53
out where I'm going. At first I want to be a nurse,
40:57
but then like I realized you had to deal with people's like
41:01
people matter and stuff. And I was like, yeah, I'll pass.
41:04
You know the only people matter is like my 2 year old
41:07
daughter's, right? I'm not doing nobody else's
41:12
shit. Yeah, dude, like blood and
41:14
stuff's one thing, but the other stuff I'm like, man.
41:17
And, and then Fast forward to the so I, yeah, the end of 2016,
41:24
you know, I'd just gone through a breakup with some girls dating
41:28
and my buddy hit me up from high school.
41:30
He's like, dude, do you want to go to like Southeast Asia with
41:32
me? And I was like, I don't know,
41:33
man, I just got get my life together.
41:37
I just got out and going to school.
41:39
Like I got goals and he's like, think about it.
41:42
I mean, a week later I was like, let's do it.
41:45
You know, I have to get my disability check.
41:46
I was like, dude, go travel Southeast Asia for a few months.
41:49
Like why the hell not? So we flew to Hong Kong on New
41:54
Year's in 2017 and I went to like 7 different countries, man.
42:00
I went and travelled around Hong Kong, Vietnam, Cambodia,
42:04
Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Bali and all those places.
42:08
Man. It's been like four months out
42:09
there and I'd say that was very empower powerful because it just
42:15
it gave me a lot of perspective, man, you know, going out to
42:18
these countries and most of these people have way lesser
42:24
than we do material, right? But they're it just seems so
42:28
much happier. You know, I was like, damn, they
42:31
don't have a whole lot like they got really good food and it's
42:34
super cheap. It's beautiful out here.
42:36
They don't have fancy stuff. Everybody's riding a moped, but
42:40
like, it just seems a lot more communal and just joyous, you
42:45
know, like it's weird to say like I felt safer out there then
42:52
I do a lot of places that go in the States, you know what I'm
42:55
saying right now. I think it really taught me like
42:58
one, it was a beautiful experience.
42:59
I got the experience a lot of different things, but I think
43:02
and connect with people from all over the world, but it just gave
43:06
me perspective shift and I'm like, damn, like, you know, we
43:09
really take things for granted and that's just the truth.
43:11
And it's not our fault. It's just we've been conditioned
43:14
to to do so. Like we, you know, our scope is
43:18
America, right? And so.
43:22
Yeah. We have.
43:23
We have. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
43:25
Yeah, I do. It's it's it's a bit of like a,
43:28
you know, like snow globe. You know, it's, it's all nice
43:31
and perfect in this little Dome that you, that's all you think
43:35
about, but there's so much more beyond it and traveling abroad
43:39
and getting getting out, You know, I've never left the
43:41
country, but I've traveled all over the United States and that
43:45
that experience gave me, you know, it, it, I, I became
43:49
cultured because I got to see where how other people in the
43:53
country, even in even our own country, how different people
43:58
are in different areas and you know, whether.
44:00
It's food. Or or environment and and you
44:03
know, just society in general. So you say you stay rude in one
44:08
place for too long. It's you don't grow as well, I
44:12
feel. I'd say that's 100% true.
44:15
I mean just a simple fact. Nothing wrong with being rude.
44:19
I mean, I'm not talking bad about people that kind of stay
44:21
put and, you know, born lived I in the same place that they
44:25
their whole life, But I think in general it's better to kind of.
44:30
Exposure, it's not it ain't for me, you know, I mean, like like
44:34
you said, not knocking it, but you know, your perspectives,
44:38
your scope may only be this big, but until you experience it, I
44:41
mean experience is going to help you understand more.
44:44
You know, it's like I got Odin. I got Odin was experience, you
44:48
know, like. The.
44:50
Wanderer, right? You wandered, man, and that's
44:52
that, you know, I'll talk about this later, but that's I connect
44:55
with Odin a lot, you know, and but he wandered, he experienced
44:59
things and he gained so much from that.
45:01
And so I think there's something to be said even if you do want
45:03
to plant roots, I mean, just maybe take some time to check
45:05
some stuff out and just learn other people.
45:10
But you know, I'll say, yeah, but you know, because I know a
45:14
lot of people are here. They're like, man, you're going
45:16
to you're going to go to Asia, you're going to get attacked by
45:20
terrorists. And I'm like, I don't.
45:22
Yeah, yeah, pick up some, pick up some kind of virus, you know,
45:26
or something crazy and. I'm like, no, I think I'll be
45:28
OK. But, you know, I know a lot of
45:32
people that mean the furthest they've gone is like Gatlinburg
45:35
or the beach, Panama City, you know, And I'm like, Dang, that's
45:40
that's why I just, I can't wrap my mind around it, but.
45:44
Yeah. But yeah, I got back from there,
45:46
man. And and you know, spring of 2017
45:52
and I started going back to school.
45:54
I got involved with, I end up managing a gym up in Hermitage,
45:58
got involved with the owner and like a crew up there and man, it
46:03
just got wild. It was like back into that wild
46:06
lifestyle, man of partying, but it wasn't pills, it was the
46:09
opposite. So we're doing our thing.
46:13
We're like representing this brand this guy has and, you
46:17
know, next thing you know, it's like, OK, we're going crazy with
46:19
cocaine and women and all this stuff.
46:21
So it's just like a totally different lifestyle.
46:24
It's 100 mph. And man, I rode that out for a
46:29
while and, and I just got tired of it, man.
46:34
It was too much. You know, there's fights all the
46:36
time. I wasn't even one.
46:37
Like I was just like, happened to be there.
46:39
And of course, I'm in. So I'm in them.
46:41
And it was constant chaos, man. And I was like, dude, I'm
46:44
spiraling out of control in just in a different way now.
46:48
This reminds me of, you know, that time in college.
46:51
Yeah, this is too familiar in a bad way.
46:54
Yeah, and it's addictive, man. And like I realized that, dude,
46:56
I get really hooked on things. That is part of my personality.
47:01
And you see it, you know, with my with relatives and stuff like
47:04
that. I mean, makes sense.
47:08
Yeah, you know, and so, you know, moving forward, I I got to
47:12
a point to where I was like, listen, this is too much.
47:14
We got involved with the motorcycle stuff again.
47:16
Things were getting a little, little sketchy in that aspect.
47:20
I'm not saying all clubs are, are sketchy, but you know, just
47:23
where where I was at it just I was like, you know what, dude,
47:26
I'm going to end up getting something bad's going to happen
47:29
if I keep riding this out. And so I was like, guys, you
47:33
know, screw this. I'm stepping away from all this
47:35
crap. I'm done with it, dude.
47:36
I'll ride my bike myself and I'll just do my thing.
47:39
I'm going to get focused. And I started dating this girl
47:44
at the end of 2017 and she was complete opposite man.
47:49
Just good, good 2 shoes, had a great career.
47:52
And I was like, this is what I need.
47:54
This is how this is the fix, because I need someone that's
47:57
the complete opposite of who I am.
47:59
Because that'll. Be squared away, right?
48:02
It's almost like, oh, I got to depend on something.
48:04
So you see a theme, right? Like, oh, I got to be in the
48:06
military to be better. I got to be right woman to be
48:09
better. Like it was always this
48:12
dependence. Does that make sense?
48:14
Yes, yes, I'm, I'm, I'm catching the theme here.
48:17
There's, there's other things that you were seeking to find
48:20
your stability, external aspects of things, Yeah.
48:24
Yeah, man. And I didn't have like a really
48:26
strong spiritual foundation, but I did around this time, I did
48:30
start get, you know, well, I'd say the beat when I was getting
48:36
out of the military, I started finding interest because there
48:38
was a heathen club I was involved with and I started
48:40
getting really interested in everything.
48:42
So I will say in like 2015, beginning 2015, I started
48:45
finding interest in that and learning more about, you know,
48:49
Germanic traditions and beliefs and just, you know, but there
48:54
was always that like you could relate to this, that conviction
48:58
aspect. Like I don't, I don't want
49:01
Burnet Hill, you know, like every year.
49:04
And so I just dabble with it for time, you know, but I was like,
49:08
I'm still Christian, but I just think this is really, this is
49:10
part of my blood, you know, And, but I kept, I kept learning just
49:15
slowly and over time. And then, and then when I met
49:19
her, I just like I said, I flip-flopped, you know, and so I
49:24
kept going to school and she was really cool at first, but then
49:28
it's just like, man, I, I was almost like I had to force
49:30
myself to be someone else. Like I was looking at getting
49:33
certain tattoos, like tattoos removed and just trying to clean
49:36
up and be this, you know, different type of person.
49:39
I can't even imagine what that is right now.
49:41
You know, I'm like, why did I even think of that?
49:43
And it's crazy. And, and then see, that was
49:49
2017. And so we were together and in
49:52
2018 is when the big shift happens, right?
49:55
So we're still doing our thing. You know, I know I'm in the
50:00
wrong relationship. I'm in and out the door and not
50:05
in and out. The I'm one fit in, one fit out,
50:07
right? I mean, but I'm still there and
50:08
I'm just like, just why can't I be happy here?
50:11
Like this is just something's off.
50:14
But you know, my family's like, she's so great.
50:17
Yeah, she got that, that you know, the the girl you want to
50:21
take home and introduce her to mom kind of personality.
50:24
Exactly. You know, she's got her shit
50:26
together, like and you know, and there was this persona she put
50:30
on she had put on for them. Oh yeah, someone different for
50:34
them, man. But behind closed doors, it
50:36
started to evolve into something a lot different.
50:38
And I wrote a piece about it and I'll get to this at the end of
50:42
that. But 2018, man.
50:44
So Fast forward to October 2018, right before that, I had been to
50:49
a ritual weekend. So about a month prior and I've
50:53
been to my, you know, this is when I really started diving
50:55
into like, dude, I, my spirit is calling me elsewhere.
50:59
Like it's undeniable. I feel it like I, it is calling
51:04
me to this different path. And an opportunity arose to go
51:07
to a ritual weekend with some guys, a bunch of people.
51:12
And I was like, I just, I just had this like fire in me is
51:16
like, I got to go. Like I'll do whatever it takes.
51:18
And I remember telling her about it and she's like, I don't want
51:20
you. That looks sketchy.
51:22
And I'm like, I've always been around sketchy stuff.
51:24
I will be fine but. Don't worry about me.
51:28
Yeah, I was like, dude, this like this looks cool as shit.
51:30
Like I'm going like I'm you're not going to stop me.
51:32
So I went, I rode my motorcycle, you know, it's 1000 miles round
51:37
trip and. Oh, it wasn't here in Tennessee,
51:40
it was. Oh, it was elsewhere.
51:41
Yeah, yeah, it was elsewhere and so secret.
51:46
Location. Yeah, Secret location.
51:48
Yeah. But I met some guys, you know,
51:52
there were some people there I knew through like, Instagram and
51:54
stuff. And I get there and it's just
51:57
this cool thing, man. Everybody's really rad.
51:59
And, you know, it's just a powerful weekend.
52:02
There's a lot of, like, amazing talks.
52:04
There's a lot of just so many really amazing people there, you
52:09
know? And I'm like, Dan, this is a
52:10
powerful experience around the woods.
52:12
And, and then ritual happened. And I'll never forget being at
52:15
this fireman and like us conducting ritual.
52:17
And that was like the first time I've been a part of something
52:19
like that, man. Oh yeah.
52:21
It was raining just a little bit because the fire was still like
52:25
Paul. And it was just this intensity.
52:28
It was this feeling. I've never felt like dude I got
52:31
baptized 3 different times in my adulthood because I was like one
52:35
of these times has got to work. You know, right, Yeah.
52:38
They didn't get, they didn't get all the muck off the first time,
52:41
so I got to do it again and again.
52:42
Like I'm supposed to raise out of the water and feel something
52:45
like, you know, And I'm like, dude, I was just trying so hard.
52:50
I wanted that spiritual connection so bad because I know
52:53
there's so much something so much bigger.
52:56
And then this is the first time I felt it, man, because it was
52:59
just between the people, the fire, you know, the elements,
53:03
the wind picks up, you know, like, you feel all these things.
53:06
You observe it, and you feel in the nature, too.
53:08
And you're like, whoa, like there's something much greater
53:12
happening here. And dude, I tell you what, I
53:15
left that weekend a change, man, you know?
53:18
And I was like, this is my path. It was certain.
53:21
There was no. Yeah.
53:24
But there's without a shadow of a death.
53:25
Unequivocal. Yeah, Yeah.
53:28
Wow, sounds amazing. It was amazing, man.
53:33
And so and, and, and because of that, now I have like guys from
53:37
that event we've, you know, found our own path and now we
53:43
have, we got our, you know, we got our tribe and I've got, you
53:46
know, friends all over the country that we get together
53:49
every so often and they come to our things.
53:51
And it's like we've we've got our people and we've really
53:54
created something beautiful, you know, truly a family man.
53:58
It's just nothing but love and so and it did.
54:02
So that was kind of like that set me on a different path.
54:07
I mean, that's what it was you. Knew you found your purpose.
54:11
You found, you found where you were supposed to apply that you
54:14
know that that that force, that drive, that pursuit, if you
54:18
will. Yeah, it was like the spark, you
54:21
know? And what's crazy is, you know, I
54:31
a month later from this event, man, it's crazy.
54:35
This is right after it. I was on my Harley like I told
54:38
you at Harley and I was went to school at Mt you know, I was at
54:45
MTSU and my ex had gone out of town.
54:49
You know, I was so out of the door, man.
54:51
She was just combating everything.
54:52
I was, you know, driving towards and I was like done.
54:56
And this is kind of crazy actually.
54:59
I, there's some girl I used to hang out with was like, come
55:01
say, hey, you know, you know, that day I was at school, my ex
55:05
was out of town. I was like, sure, I'll stop by
55:08
Anyways, I leave class around, you know, 10/30 11:00 AM that
55:14
morning, I'm on my bike and it's, I had posted a story that
55:17
morning on Instagram. I was in Hermitage and I took a
55:21
picture of my bike and I said this is a bad idea because it
55:24
was like 40 something degrees, right?
55:25
And, you know, going on the Interstate in 47° weather, like
55:29
it's cold. And, and that was what the only
55:33
thing I was referring to. Well, you know, it turned out to
55:38
be a beautiful day. It's, you know, it's like 11:00.
55:41
I'm going over to this place, but I'm also kind of just joy
55:44
around. I'm like, dude, the weather's
55:45
perfect. And, man, I'm going down some,
55:49
you know, kind of residential roads by this school in
55:51
Murfreesboro, this elementary school.
55:54
I'm coming up on this light, you know, the road, Cason Lane.
55:59
Yeah, Yeah. So there's an intersection right
56:01
by the school, Cason Academy. And I'm just cruising through,
56:05
man. You know, I got these apes on.
56:07
And I get to the light, it's green.
56:10
And I look over and I just see this car to the left.
56:13
It's like, it's like a little Nissan Sentra or something.
56:15
And I just said. Oh man.
56:18
That was the first thing. I mean, I remember saying that
56:20
specifically, dude. And as soon as I said it, my
56:23
brain just shut off. And I'm pretty sure my my body
56:28
just knew. Like, hey, dude, we're shutting
56:29
down, bro. Like it's for the best.
56:32
Yeah. And what had happened was we
56:36
this car and I hit corner to corner.
56:39
I fishtailed into the side, flipped over into the
56:42
windshield, and then I got launched 90 feet through the air
56:46
into a field right there. And they, because they measured
56:51
it because like, obviously, you know, we had to get somebody
56:53
over there with a lawsuit and everything.
56:57
Yeah, insurance, all that crap. But yet it, they did all this
57:00
stuff and it measured out to be exactly 90 feet.
57:03
And my bike went 100 feet down the road underneath another
57:06
vehicle. So thank, thank God.
57:08
And stayed with that that. Yeah.
57:11
And so I woke up in this field and I'll remember.
57:13
I'm like, I come to and I look up and I just see my left femur
57:18
sticking out of my leg and I wow, God, God.
57:22
And I just remember thinking like, dude, this isn't good.
57:25
Nope, that's not supposed to look like that.
57:27
No, but it wasn't. I mean, it's almost like it
57:29
didn't happen to. It was almost like it was fake,
57:31
you know, like I obviously adrenaline and just like being
57:35
in shock, like I didn't feel any pain.
57:37
Yeah. So as far as I was concerned, I
57:39
was just a little broken. A big broken.
57:41
But either way, broken bones. But I didn't understand the
57:46
severity. And you know, I remember all the
57:48
chaos. I remember the Sr. officer.
57:50
I remember like a lot actually. It's very, it's very vivid.
57:53
And he came up. How were you going to say
57:55
something? Oh, no, no, I'm just sitting in
57:58
here. My, my mouth is I'm having to
57:59
keep my pick, my jaw from the ground because it's, it's I
58:02
heard you, you we talked about this before, but hearing it
58:04
again, is it, it's, it's still amazing to hear.
58:07
So intense. Yeah.
58:09
Yeah, yeah. And so he came up and he's like,
58:12
hey, I called you a life flight. And I was like, OK, didn't think
58:17
much of it. And so Long story short, man,
58:21
life flight gets there. I've got videos of like from the
58:24
dash cams of like the cops, like a cop car face in my where I'm
58:28
at. And you see me out in this field
58:30
and you see them loading me up on this stretcher.
58:32
It's pretty wild. And I, yeah, they load me on the
58:36
life flight. And then it was almost
58:37
sarcastically, I was like, am I going to die or something like
58:39
that? And I never forget, man.
58:41
They were like, Sir, we're going to try to keep that from
58:43
happening. And I'll tell you what, man,
58:45
that's when I felt something. And it wasn't pain.
58:47
It was just that sensation of like, this isn't good, right?
58:52
You know the head to toe, like almost tingly feeling you feel
58:55
like. Oh yeah, that that that
58:58
endorphins are are starting. Yeah, like when something bad
59:00
happens, you use some, like just earth shattering news.
59:04
That feeling you. Yeah.
59:06
And I almost can feel it now talking about it.
59:08
And, and that's when it got real, man.
59:11
It put me on the helicopter And I, I remember just going up and
59:14
I was just like, wasn't looking for any sites, you know, I just
59:17
remember thinking like, Joe, dude, this is not your time.
59:20
It's not your freaking time, dude, keep fighting.
59:22
I was thinking about, you know, my family and, you know, my
59:25
niece and, and all this stuff. And I was like, fight this shit.
59:30
And I close my eyes and this is something that's always been
59:36
powerful. But like, man, I tell you, in
59:38
the past year, it's really become clear, like the message
59:40
of this. But I never forget.
59:44
I closed my eyes and then I went to that fire.
59:47
Was that a month before when I chose my path?
59:50
And that's where I was at in my mind.
59:54
And it was like this. I was like, to me, that was like
59:56
me at the Vale. And I remember being at that
59:58
fire, but there was no one else from that night there.
1:00:02
It was just me and it was Embers.
1:00:05
And I remember, like, Lucky staring at it and all of a
1:00:09
sudden just said, and it illuminated everything around
1:00:13
me. And I remember looking in front
1:00:15
of me and I just see all these faces, dude.
1:00:17
And I was like, And I knew, like, those are the gods.
1:00:20
Like they were watching me. And then I woke up in the
1:00:23
hospital. Oh, wow.
1:00:26
Yeah, man. And it was so.
1:00:29
You left yourself there for a little while.
1:00:31
Yeah, I tell people it's an odentic vision, you know, you
1:00:35
know, And so, yeah, wake up in the hospital, man.
1:00:38
I got come to find out I had, I had a TBII, had brain bleeding.
1:00:42
I had an aortic aneurysm that was bleeding into my right
1:00:47
collapsed lung. I had lacerated like 6 or 7
1:00:52
organs, broke my rib in three places, hip in three places, my
1:00:56
left femur, my right knee, my tibia, my fibula, my ankles, my
1:01:00
feet and my toes all bright, broken and shattered.
1:01:05
I would severed my hamstring. I got stabbed in the thigh and
1:01:09
lost. Like, I don't know, I got a lot,
1:01:10
lost a lot of blood out of that. But yeah man, head to toe dude,
1:01:13
I got destroyed. So it was more than just a femur
1:01:16
sticking through your leg, man. You you got.
1:01:18
Yeah, you got wrecked. It's a laundry list.
1:01:21
Yeah. I mean, I I should, I should be
1:01:22
dead, man. I mean, just one of the just the
1:01:24
aortic aneurysm. I mean, that's like reviving
1:01:26
that. Like it was actually bleeding
1:01:28
out and so and then the eternal internal bleeding, all that
1:01:32
stuff, man. So it's just insane that like I
1:01:35
did survive that, but I don't know at the same time, like I
1:01:40
woke up man. And I remember just like after
1:01:42
obviously they're pumping me with all these drugs, you know,
1:01:44
I got a Dilaudid IV and at this point I'm hurting, you know, I'm
1:01:47
just like, not at all, you know, finally understood, like kind of
1:01:52
get track of my mind. I just never for some reason I
1:01:56
couldn't just help but feel overwhelmed with like gratitude.
1:02:01
Like I wasn't like all this sucks.
1:02:03
I was like, I just immediately remember thinking like this was
1:02:06
like meant this is my path. This is part of it.
1:02:10
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This is my. Let's get back to the show.
1:03:34
Part of it and yeah, I mean, it's just that's, that's what I
1:03:39
held onto and I started sharing that with people, man, and I had
1:03:42
a lot of support. There's so much love in that
1:03:44
time and got to feel like I'm just like, let me know if I need
1:03:49
to speed up speed through this at all.
1:03:51
I mean, I think you're giving all the details that are needed.
1:03:54
I know we've we've we've filled up already, you know, an hour.
1:03:58
Yeah, it's a bit, just a little over an hours of time of just
1:04:01
your origin story. And then what brought you here
1:04:03
today. Haven't even really talked
1:04:05
about, you know, what this relentless pursuit brand and the
1:04:08
mission and everything is. But it, I feel like this,
1:04:11
everything that you're telling us about is building up to that.
1:04:15
It's a wonderful origin story. And then just everything about
1:04:18
it is really captivating. So thank you for reloading some
1:04:22
of these things. I don't get, I don't really get
1:04:25
the opportunity to tell my story, you know, like I'm always
1:04:27
listening to others. So it's like, yeah, gets fired
1:04:30
up. But yeah, it's cool to reflect
1:04:32
on too and actually speak it out.
1:04:36
So thank you for allowing me to do so of.
1:04:38
Course. Yeah, this has been.
1:04:40
It's great. Yeah, but yeah, so I'm getting
1:04:42
to the religious pursuit. So I but barrel through this
1:04:45
recovery, man, I'm just like fired up and you know, I keep
1:04:50
going. I remember man, I couldn't walk
1:04:52
for a solid 3 months, you know? You know, I just like I was
1:04:55
limited. I had it, my feet and my ankles
1:04:57
and stuff had to heal. So I couldn't bear weight for a
1:05:00
while. But I just kept going, man.
1:05:02
I kept going to my therapy, physical therapy.
1:05:05
Luckily I had a lady that was like a bodybuilder that was my
1:05:08
physical therapist. So she was pushing the hell out
1:05:10
of me, man. And.
1:05:11
And it was, it was difficult. It was.
1:05:13
Yeah. She was like, how?
1:05:14
Would you get for skipping leg day?
1:05:16
Yeah. I know.
1:05:17
It was like, I can tell I can push you and I was like, hell
1:05:20
yeah, you can like push me to the knees.
1:05:22
I'm trying to overcome this shit.
1:05:24
Give it to me, right? And you're so cool.
1:05:28
And of course I stayed in that relationship, you know, and
1:05:32
because I, I felt like guilt at that time, you know, because I
1:05:35
had to work through the mental part of like, whoa, because she
1:05:38
didn't know that I was going to someone's house, you know, I, I
1:05:41
couldn't tell her that. I mean, she'd almost died and
1:05:44
then she's taking care of me. I felt so much guilt, you know,
1:05:47
So I stayed because of guilt. And Fast forward, you know, this
1:05:55
is 20. So we're in 2019, I started
1:05:59
forming this like idea, like I want to start a brand built off
1:06:02
of this. And so 2020 I started Relentless
1:06:05
Pursuit. I got my first shipment of
1:06:09
apparel a week before COVID started.
1:06:12
And I went to like I went to Patagonia, Chile and did some
1:06:15
hiking for like a week. And then while I was out there,
1:06:18
it was like Covid's in America. And I'm like, well damn it, I've
1:06:21
got like thousands of dollars of shirts in the house.
1:06:25
Like I'm. Going to do these damn things
1:06:26
now. Yeah, man.
1:06:28
And that and that was like the same, that was like literally
1:06:31
right when that tornado came through Nashville and kind of
1:06:33
tore some stuff up, went down 40.
1:06:35
Oh man. Right.
1:06:35
Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, and 'cause that was right
1:06:39
close to my, it was like a mile from my house out there.
1:06:41
Really. Yeah, 'cause I lived in
1:06:42
Hermitage, so, like, it came through the Hermitage exit, you
1:06:45
know? And so I started RP man, built
1:06:49
off of this story, this accident, right?
1:06:52
And it's so crazy 'cause I put so much the identity into the
1:06:55
accident, but that was just like the spark, you know, there's so
1:06:59
much more to it. And that's where I'm getting to
1:07:03
is like moving forward, right? Like I got this brand, you know,
1:07:06
I, I, I got this apparel. I got a team of like 8 people.
1:07:09
We're going to events, I'm selling all this stuff and
1:07:12
putting out cool content and photo shoots.
1:07:14
And it's like, you know, like I'm in a good place already,
1:07:17
man. It's growing fast.
1:07:18
Like I'm, I'm selling, selling out every event I go to.
1:07:21
Like I got to put together and kill A-Team.
1:07:24
It was great. And I'm still like very
1:07:27
proactive with like ritual and stuff.
1:07:28
So in this, at this point, I'm going, I'm gathering with people
1:07:31
often, right, Like almost monthly, you know, to do ritual
1:07:34
and like it's become a very important part of my life.
1:07:38
Yeah. Can I actually, can I actually
1:07:40
ask a question before you go too much deeper, because we we know
1:07:43
the name relentless Pursuit and we're hearing all the things
1:07:46
that that are leading up to it. And you're talking about having
1:07:49
merchandise and in content. What would you just for people
1:07:53
that have never heard of your stuff before, like what would
1:07:56
you say? Is it, is it motivational
1:07:59
lifestyle? Is it, you know, working out?
1:08:01
Is it health? Is it all of it?
1:08:03
Is it? So here's the thing.
1:08:07
And that's kind of way after like, you know, my all my
1:08:10
experience is what it comes to, right?
1:08:15
At first it was just like this motivational overcoming.
1:08:20
Yeah, everyone loves a good comeback story in America.
1:08:22
Right. Yeah, yeah, it's.
1:08:23
Motivational like, and I'm already tied into the fitness
1:08:26
world. I had a lot of connections
1:08:27
there, like I'm already in that world.
1:08:29
And so it was like a fitness centered brand.
1:08:32
OK. But I always told people like,
1:08:34
it's not a fitness brand. This applies to this mindset,
1:08:37
the relentless pursuit applies to everything but it just it
1:08:41
just had so much attraction and and.
1:08:43
Yeah, it fits well in that demographic, I'm sure.
1:08:46
Yeah, but deep down I wanted to break away from that man.
1:08:48
It always meant something more and, and and so I want to share
1:08:52
like what it is to me now after like we get through.
1:08:56
Just do you care if I delay it a little?
1:08:59
Bit I don't. Yeah, sure.
1:09:00
It's smart. It as right.
1:09:03
Didn't realize I had to go through the forge man.
1:09:05
Like it's like the gods were like Joe.
1:09:07
No, the wreck was the easy part. That's the starting point, OK,
1:09:12
This is that was a physical thing.
1:09:14
This was just that was just a test that this there's a lot
1:09:16
more to go through. And I was like, shit.
1:09:20
And I say that like I didn't know, you know, but like things
1:09:23
are riding high. We're good.
1:09:26
And I got this, this house and you know, my I, I won a lawsuit
1:09:31
with the accident, you know, and I got a good return.
1:09:34
So I was able to invest in the brand more, you know, take some
1:09:38
trips with my ex. I bought a house and I knew I
1:09:42
was 1 foot out the door and because I was miserable and she
1:09:45
was like, oh, I'm sorry. And then but things got better.
1:09:51
She's like, it'll be better, I promise.
1:09:53
And so I believed in that. And then, you know, long after
1:09:55
she's like, you want to buy a house?
1:09:57
And I'm like, oh dude, my gut was like, Joe, don't do this
1:10:00
shit. What do I do?
1:10:02
I'll go buy a brand new house and I'm like, yeah, that'll make
1:10:05
things better. And I have that little property
1:10:07
and out kind of out in the country.
1:10:10
Yeah, you know, got her a car, all this stuff.
1:10:13
And but Fast forward. So this is like 2021, you know,
1:10:19
we're at this new house. I'm doing all the events, doing
1:10:22
ritual. Life is good, right?
1:10:23
But I still felt like a void in this relationship I'm in.
1:10:26
I'm like, dude, it's like we got a good material life.
1:10:31
But that's as far as it goes. Like it's, there's nothing
1:10:33
deeper than that. And I kept having this urge to
1:10:36
confront some deeper issues in myself, some feelings.
1:10:40
And like she likes, it's like when I would do that, it was
1:10:45
like, there was a look of disgust at me, like it's not my
1:10:47
fault or like, you know what I'm saying?
1:10:49
And I was like, shit, I can't even open up to this person.
1:10:52
It started to really eat at me. The more spiritual I got, the
1:10:55
more I started like really thinking about like just
1:10:58
everything. And like, well, why do I react
1:11:01
to certain things this way and that way?
1:11:03
And about a month and a half before our wedding, man, I was
1:11:07
like calling this off. So yeah, 2021, the wedding was
1:11:16
supposed to be in October. Called it off.
1:11:19
Well, she was pissed. That went over well, I'm sure.
1:11:22
Yeah, I was about to say like that was yeah.
1:11:25
Well, the house and everything was in her name.
1:11:26
So guess what, when we called it off, she sold everything and I
1:11:30
lost about a quarter $1,000,000. So yeah, she yeah, I know I got
1:11:36
like a $10,000 check. She was like, good luck and
1:11:40
yeah, you know, it is what it is, man.
1:11:42
I say all that to say because that's that's not the point with
1:11:46
the with the gold is though, like that catalyst had to happen
1:11:51
and why? Because I moved to Murfreesboro.
1:11:56
I was in a dark place, started drinking bunch of wine.
1:11:59
I don't know, I love wine, but like I was drinking a couple
1:12:01
bottles a night. You know, I was my whole world
1:12:03
flipped upside down. I'm like, dude for soup and I'm
1:12:06
like dealing with this, like what is going on right now?
1:12:08
I can't make sense of it. I'm coping with women.
1:12:11
And six months after that wedding got called off.
1:12:14
I went on a date and I met my now wife and like, it's just
1:12:18
like I immediately I was like, this is it.
1:12:19
I said, listen, this is who I am.
1:12:22
This is what I'm about. This is what you get with me.
1:12:24
This is Joe, Yeah. I mean, straight up, you know,
1:12:27
like, I'm a Pagan. She was like a small town girl
1:12:31
from Smithfield. She's like, OK, I'm like hell
1:12:34
yeah. And but then meeting her, man,
1:12:38
it just like, she really forced me to confront a lot of shit.
1:12:42
She's been through a lot. And, you know, I started, like,
1:12:46
spiraling out of control, man. I'd be like, oh, shoot, I'd have
1:12:50
anxiety attacks. I never thought you never had
1:12:52
this before. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to
1:12:54
ruin this. Like, you're screwed.
1:12:56
Like, this is just going to end in destruction.
1:12:58
Trust me. This is my third engagement.
1:13:00
Well, this is, you know, I've been engaged twice before.
1:13:02
Like, I'm just going to Jack this up too.
1:13:04
And, you know, it was so powerful because I'll never
1:13:07
forget. She said feel it.
1:13:08
Just feel it. She didn't take it personal.
1:13:11
She just let me feel that shit. And dude, I'll tell her I'll
1:13:14
never stop giving her credit because that opened the door to
1:13:17
so much more. And like how, oh man, this woman
1:13:21
believes in me. And and so trying to trying to
1:13:26
hurry forward with it. Oh man, that's beautiful.
1:13:28
I'm glad you, you mentioned her and brought that up.
1:13:31
And you, you've, you've done an episode of your own show with
1:13:33
with your wife too, right? Yeah, done 2/1.
1:13:36
The first one was a couple shoot a couple years ago.
1:13:41
She told her story about what she went through, like really
1:13:43
bad domestic situation. Yeah, I remember catching some
1:13:46
of those clips and and watching some I'm trying to get, you
1:13:48
know, get caught up on your content, which is has been a fun
1:13:51
journey of itself. Just as a side note.
1:13:54
But I'm really glad that you are at this point with and and
1:13:58
sharing this because having somebody to go through life with
1:14:01
when you know, two people are two people and we're
1:14:04
individuals. But when two people can come
1:14:06
together and and their visions as individuals as they are
1:14:11
align. Yeah.
1:14:12
You become cohesive. It's it's, it's a beautiful
1:14:15
thing. That's what you have.
1:14:17
Exactly. So something as simple as like
1:14:19
something is like the spiritual, she's Christian, I'm Pagan,
1:14:21
right? But like, I've been to church
1:14:24
with her on occasions. Not, you know, I want to go to
1:14:27
church because I want to be with her because that's supportive.
1:14:32
I understand how important that spiritual connection is.
1:14:34
And if that's where she gets it, then I want to be present there.
1:14:37
Not all the time. I'm not going to go to church
1:14:38
every Sunday. But just like, I wouldn't expect
1:14:41
her to go to ritual every, you know, weekend if I did that,
1:14:44
right. But she comes to where she's
1:14:46
been, to events. I mean, like, she loves, you
1:14:49
know, my crew. Support each other in that way.
1:14:53
Yeah, so we help each other grow spiritually because we
1:14:55
understand that it's not like there's so much more to it, man.
1:14:59
Like everything aligns, you know, besides that aspect.
1:15:03
But then like, even in most ways that aligns too, It's just like
1:15:07
almost like the way you worship and you know what I'm saying?
1:15:09
And so at least like all the things that like, I don't know,
1:15:15
are essential for us align, you know, we're very, we're very
1:15:18
supportive of one another. So a lot of people think that's
1:15:21
like, oh, you can't make that happen.
1:15:22
Well, I mean, we're a prime example of it, man.
1:15:24
And so I think it's actually really cool.
1:15:27
And I think it's really cool for my daughter as she grows older
1:15:31
because she's there's going to be an emphasis like on like, you
1:15:35
choose follow your heart, you know, let that guide you
1:15:38
spiritually. You don't have to.
1:15:40
You don't have to be this. You don't have to be that.
1:15:43
That is within you. So follow that.
1:15:46
Of course, she's going to learn things from both of us.
1:15:47
But I think seeing that devotion in two different ways from her
1:15:52
father and her mother, there's no pressure to, like, have to
1:15:58
follow someone else, you know what I'm saying?
1:16:00
And like, yeah, think of that because remember feeling like I
1:16:03
had to do all these things that I saw like my dad do, and you
1:16:06
know what I'm saying? Right, because you don't want to
1:16:08
let them down. You don't want to disappoint
1:16:09
them, So you feel obligated to have to do.
1:16:12
Yeah, I, I, I totally can relate to that.
1:16:15
And it and it's such a such a liberating thing to finally
1:16:19
arrive at a place where you are genuinely yourself.
1:16:25
You're not trying to be somebody else.
1:16:27
You're not trying to do what somebody else is doing.
1:16:30
You're not trying to like comparison.
1:16:35
They say the comparison is the thief of joy.
1:16:40
But I, you know, some people, like, I look at it in some ways
1:16:46
as like, OK, so you would say comparison is the thief of joy.
1:16:49
Well, if that's the only thing that I ever steal in somebody's
1:16:52
life is their joy, and I'm not comparing myself to them, then
1:16:59
then I'm I'm, I'm OK with that. You know what I mean?
1:17:02
Like, Yep. But, but, but don't.
1:17:04
But don't be that person that is like trying to do what you do
1:17:10
because, well, I saw it. Like, I see what somebody else
1:17:13
is doing and I see how successful they are, and I'm
1:17:15
going to try to do it. What they're doing now, man,
1:17:17
dude, be you, you know, find your way.
1:17:22
Yeah. We're, I mean, we're all
1:17:24
individuals. You know what I'm saying?
1:17:25
Yeah. Be you, follow your path,
1:17:27
whether it's spiritually or what you want to do.
1:17:29
Like I, I, if I could teach my daughter anything, it's just
1:17:31
like, I don't know, man, like just move forward, be righteous.
1:17:36
And just like your, your destiny will call you if you listen for
1:17:39
it, you know? All in here, man.
1:17:41
It's all. It's all within us.
1:17:44
It truly is. And so, yeah.
1:17:46
And then, you know, I met her, started working on that stuff.
1:17:50
I said, you know, I need to change thing.
1:17:52
I want to like take the brand to another level.
1:17:55
So, you know, like not long after I invested in the building
1:17:59
that I was in for a few years over there in Murfreesboro, my
1:18:04
headquarters. That was, I mean, dude, I could
1:18:07
talk another two hours on that, but that was we'll.
1:18:10
Have to do another episode on just the whole like origin of of
1:18:13
RP you know? That's that was the forge man.
1:18:16
And for all the personal growth. And so like, you know, here I
1:18:20
am, like at the beginning of it, you know, I'm meet her, I'm
1:18:23
moving to this building, you know, six months after I meet
1:18:26
her, I propose a month after that, I find we find out she's
1:18:30
pregnant. I'm hemorrhaging money.
1:18:33
Like nothing's going. His plan.
1:18:34
I'm like, Oh my God. Like the pressure is on, dude.
1:18:37
And it was crazy, man. I ended up moving tenants in
1:18:39
there, but it was just a lot of man.
1:18:43
Yeah. We'll have to circle back around
1:18:45
to that. But Long story short, Fast
1:18:47
forward to now, you know, in that time frame, I just started
1:18:52
recording the podcast. I, you know, I'm recorded
1:18:56
episodes like every week. You know, I'm still doing that.
1:18:58
I meant like about to drop my 159th episode on Sunday.
1:19:04
And you stayed consistent with that, planted those roots
1:19:07
because like the brand has turned into something so much
1:19:12
more. And you come to the beginning of
1:19:14
this year where like, things really started to shift, man, I
1:19:17
had a mentor. I started really focusing on
1:19:20
like the internal growth, had to restructure my whole
1:19:23
understanding of success, all these different things.
1:19:26
And then I realized like, holy shit, man.
1:19:29
Like I had to move out of that building.
1:19:33
Like I had no choice. I couldn't afford it.
1:19:36
Like it was sucking me dry. I've sold so many belongings
1:19:40
just to stay afloat. Like it's been nothing but
1:19:43
sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice.
1:19:45
And it got to a point to where it's like, dude, I've got to
1:19:47
pivot. And the opportunity to arose the
1:19:49
pivot. And now I'm in Brentwood, but
1:19:52
you know, moving here and in that time frame, I understood
1:19:56
like recently like what Relentless Pursuit is now.
1:20:00
It's not a fitness brand, you know, it comes from my own
1:20:04
journey. But it's like I've been through
1:20:06
storms like addiction, hardship, near death, rebuilding
1:20:10
everything from scratch and to the point from where I went when
1:20:15
I had a team and I lost and I hit like basically the dirt.
1:20:21
Everybody left, they turned your back on me because they were
1:20:24
like, oh, you can't hook us up. Well, then we're going to do
1:20:27
that. Then I built it all from scratch
1:20:29
like myself, man. I mean, I've had to do
1:20:32
everything and it's been like, holy shit.
1:20:35
So I've had to like learn how to do that with no crowd.
1:20:40
Just like it's just been a, in a lot of ways, a lonely journey,
1:20:45
but it's like it's very, again, it's been a very like organic
1:20:48
journey because I believe in it so much and I believe in what
1:20:53
it's becoming. But it's crazy because not even
1:20:56
till like early this year that I realized what it was.
1:21:00
And I realized I wasn't chasing success.
1:21:03
I was chasing something deeper. Like I said earlier.
1:21:06
So it's a religious pursuit is about authenticity.
1:21:12
It's about facing the hard truths and not hiding from them.
1:21:16
It's about growth, responsibility and showing up as
1:21:19
your real, you know, your real self, even when it's
1:21:22
uncomfortable. And that's where the strength
1:21:26
and impact come from. And so it's not a brand, it's
1:21:30
more of a movement. Does that make sense?
1:21:32
Yeah, yeah, I'm with you, man. And I think a lot of people can.
1:21:36
That resonates for a lot of people.
1:21:38
Yeah, and it, you know, and, and it's now it's turned to like
1:21:42
this space and this platform I've created for people that see
1:21:45
their struggle. It doesn't disqualify them,
1:21:50
right? They can still be, they can be
1:21:53
the very thing that I think I'm trying to figure out how the
1:21:57
best way to word it, the struggles can be the very thing
1:22:01
that shapes their purpose. Because like everything I've
1:22:05
ever experienced, the good, the bad, and I would nothing's bad.
1:22:09
It's all you know. I look at everything is
1:22:11
necessary. It shapes who you become.
1:22:14
Yeah, there's no such thing as bad weather.
1:22:15
It's just poor clothing. Exactly, Amor Fati right love of
1:22:19
1's faint. You know, that's I've got that
1:22:22
tattooed on my wrist and it's a constant reminder like, oh, this
1:22:24
is meant to happen. This was meant.
1:22:26
This is happening for me. Everything's happening for you.
1:22:29
And so our reference is the journey we all have to walk
1:22:31
through storms and suffering to find our true selves and make an
1:22:35
impact. And at the end of the day, it
1:22:36
means this, that no matter what storm you're in, keep going,
1:22:40
pursue truth, pursue purpose, pursue impact, just
1:22:46
relentlessly. That makes sense it.
1:22:49
Makes, yes, absolutely makes sense.
1:22:52
And, and even if it doesn't make sense, it, it's, it's, it, you
1:22:55
know, think about it, you know, if, if people hear this and
1:22:58
they're like, I don't know if I get it yet.
1:22:59
Well, what are you doing 'cause it's pretty fucking simple.
1:23:04
I mean, it's, it's not that complicated.
1:23:06
You just got to be there. And that's when it comes down to
1:23:08
man, like, you know, you create a space or you have, you know,
1:23:11
continue to createspace for, for conversations that are, they're
1:23:17
raw. I've, I've, you know, I've
1:23:19
watched and listened to some of your stuff and man, you know,
1:23:22
some of the, some of the subject matter is, is, you know, it
1:23:25
sends chills, You know, I mean, it kind of, it makes you kind of
1:23:27
squirm in your seat as a listener and as a viewer, you
1:23:32
know, so they're raw, but you know, it's transformative.
1:23:36
And I was just wondering, you know, like as, as we talk about
1:23:40
this now, like, do you have a particular process that, that
1:23:44
you found that works for guiding guests, you know, into that raw
1:23:49
and, and vulnerable territory that you know, while still
1:23:53
maintaining that authentic, trustful, you know,
1:23:56
trustworthiness? About yourself.
1:24:00
I think that's the whole thing is like, and it's just getting
1:24:04
more in depth. Does that make sense?
1:24:06
Like especially, you know, like the fur goes along like they're
1:24:10
people just tend to open up more to the point people are
1:24:12
messaging me after like, dude, that was healing for me.
1:24:15
Thank you. You know, it's like I'm giving
1:24:17
people a voice, you know, to share their story.
1:24:21
And, and dude, I was talking about today with the guy with
1:24:25
the military that's, you know, suicide prevention advocate with
1:24:28
them. He's an officer.
1:24:30
I forget what his title is, but they just people just talking
1:24:36
about things like just letting somebody talk about their
1:24:40
experience is a healing thing. So like being able to get people
1:24:44
on here to share their stories and like let that get out to the
1:24:47
world and help people find truth and purpose and connect on
1:24:53
something deeper, you know, because, yeah, I could have a
1:24:56
bunch of people on my show that like agree with me on
1:25:00
everything. And a lot of shows out there,
1:25:02
like, you know, I noticed there's just like a lot of
1:25:05
debate or like arguing about this or that or trying to prove
1:25:08
somebody wrong, man. And it's like I've talked about,
1:25:11
man. I've, I've had people I'd say
1:25:13
like my personal values are very like rigid, you know, very
1:25:18
traditional, very this, very that.
1:25:20
And then I have like a good friend of mine.
1:25:22
He, he's the complete opposite, right?
1:25:24
Like, you know, he's got a just a completely far left viewpoint
1:25:33
than I do, right? Say left because it's directly
1:25:35
to me. And you know, but because if you
1:25:39
look at us, I look how I do, you know, he's got blue hair.
1:25:42
He's a black dude. Like he's super LGBTQ.
1:25:45
I'm very traditional on this end.
1:25:46
But do we have a beautiful relationship?
1:25:48
Because guess what? Surface level things aren't the
1:25:52
shit that matters, man. If you just talk to somebody and
1:25:55
you open up that dialogue, you feel you realize that you
1:25:57
connect on so much more and like to be able to do that, man, I
1:26:01
think it's a really cool thing. And so that's what that's what
1:26:04
this is all doing, man. And it's really cool to see see
1:26:08
it evolve. But for the process for me was
1:26:10
just like, I got to be the most authentic version of myself.
1:26:13
If I bleed authenticity, then that's going to make more
1:26:17
people, people more comfortable to dive into those raw
1:26:21
conversations, right? Like if I'm willing to tell
1:26:24
someone, like I said, I talked about what happened to my
1:26:27
childhood and this is a big piece, you know, like, and I'll
1:26:31
share it on here, you know, but I did some work earlier this
1:26:37
year that brought me back to a point when I was 8 year old, 8
1:26:42
years old, because I've had a lot of issues with like betrayal
1:26:45
and anger and you know, self worth rejection and all these
1:26:51
things, right, that have just like been massive factors into
1:26:55
my life. And then just a lot of decisions
1:26:57
I've made. And so I did some work with a
1:27:01
friend of mine and she pretty much brought me to when I was 8
1:27:05
years old, right? And when I was 8 years old, I
1:27:08
was molested by our neighbor. And you know, I'm not going to
1:27:13
go into the details of how it happened.
1:27:16
You know, it's not really important with the fact that
1:27:19
matter is though, that that action happened, right?
1:27:22
And then I was a kid, you know, and obviously when you're a
1:27:26
little kid, you know you. Don't you?
1:27:27
Just traumatic, yeah. It's just traumatic.
1:27:29
Yeah. You don't fight it.
1:27:30
You don't. I mean, I'm sure some do, but
1:27:32
like, I don't know. You're just like, terrified.
1:27:34
What is happening? You know, right?
1:27:36
Yeah, it's just like, you know, everything's wrong.
1:27:38
You know, that's actually when I was introduced to pornography.
1:27:41
And it's, it's wild that that had become something that was
1:27:45
addictive for most of my adulthood, you know that.
1:27:49
But it was also introduced to me like 1 of the darkest points in
1:27:53
my life. You know, it's crazy how how
1:27:55
those things connect. Yeah, drama, bonding and all
1:27:58
that. Yeah.
1:27:59
Yeah, But I say this because, like, what was so powerful about
1:28:03
that moment? She's like, all right, now go
1:28:04
back to that time. And she's like, go back to the
1:28:07
time you feel stripped of your value.
1:28:10
You felt rejected. And man, like, am I?
1:28:12
Like I had these glasses on and I remember like, just like
1:28:15
literally seeing the house and seeing like 8 year old version
1:28:21
of me walking out of it, right? And she's like, now go sit with
1:28:26
him. And she said and show him, show
1:28:29
him your pictures of pictures of your daughter, you know, show
1:28:31
him pictures of his beautiful wife and you know, the things he
1:28:35
gets to do with his life, you know, and I never dude, it was
1:28:37
so vivid. Like I had my arm around him.
1:28:39
I'm like, yo, dude, it's OK. Like check this out.
1:28:41
Like look, look at what's in front of you.
1:28:45
Like you've got it made. Like there's so much beauty, all
1:28:50
this experience you get to have. And I never, I just like, dude,
1:28:54
I just burst into tears, man. I'll never forget just thinking
1:28:56
like it's all going to be OK. And that's just life.
1:29:00
It's at the end of the day, it's all going to be OK.
1:29:03
And and then I just said, I remember, I never forget, man.
1:29:07
I was like, let's go. You know, I took him by the
1:29:08
hand. And like, since since that
1:29:10
moment, man, I've been walking him back through, walking him
1:29:12
back through all these experiences and see, you know,
1:29:15
facing all these things that maybe decisions I've made or
1:29:18
things I've done that like in, in understanding, like why, you
1:29:22
know, my actions were a certain way.
1:29:24
And it stems from, I mean, that 8 year old kid in me controlled
1:29:29
so much of my decision making of my choices up until today still,
1:29:34
like I'm still working on it. It's not like, oh, it's
1:29:37
completely healed, but the fact of the matter is like I was able
1:29:40
to go to that source and start the real work.
1:29:43
And that is a vulnerable thing to put out there.
1:29:46
That's a crazy thing to share with the world, but it's also
1:29:49
authentic as hell. And dude, it just helps this
1:29:52
platform evolve. And that's the process, man.
1:29:55
I'm just like, I don't know, people are just open up and I'm
1:29:58
just really blessed for the opportunity to have people come
1:30:01
share their stories with me, man, because it's, it's
1:30:04
beautiful work. It is man and and first of all,
1:30:08
thank you for taking us along that that's that journey today
1:30:13
and sharing that the the, the, the whole view of of
1:30:16
vulnerability. You know, I do a lot of I spend
1:30:21
a lot of time with friends, brothers, you know, other men
1:30:26
who have gone through some really traumatic things in their
1:30:30
life. And as men, you know, this is
1:30:32
like one of those things that being vulnerable gets, doesn't
1:30:37
get talked about enough. And men are men suffer because,
1:30:42
you know, it's like, you know, you know, when you're a kid,
1:30:46
it's, you know, when, when something happens and you're
1:30:48
crying about it, right? What's 1 like one of the first
1:30:50
things that a lot of kids get told, stop crying, right?
1:30:53
Stop feeling what you're feeling toughen up, right?
1:30:57
And, and, but man, in the context, you know, vulnerability
1:31:02
in the context of, of, of, of masculinity and, and, and the
1:31:07
trauma that, that comes, the work that you're doing, it's,
1:31:11
it's saving a lot of people's lives, man.
1:31:13
I just realizing that knowing who I'm talking to and, and what
1:31:17
you're doing and, and the impact that it has is, is it's like,
1:31:22
it's amazing. It really is.
1:31:24
And and thank you for that work. I appreciate it, man.
1:31:27
A it's, it's so important to me, you know, and it me and I
1:31:34
believe in it so much, but it's, it also means the world to hear
1:31:37
these things, you know, because it's easy to get in your head
1:31:39
and, you know, just like, yeah, I mean, there's like I told you,
1:31:44
man, I'm facing a lot of different adversities even now.
1:31:47
And it's so crazy because like I'm happier than I've ever been.
1:31:54
Like, dude, I'm going to face things that like just, you know,
1:31:57
we've talked about like the, the lawsuit, all this stuff.
1:32:00
And this is like, damn, like that years ago that would have
1:32:03
crumbled me these things, right? But like you do the work, it's
1:32:08
almost like you embrace adversity with open arms and,
1:32:13
and, and because of it, man, it's, it's kept me going.
1:32:16
And that belief and then seeing like front and center, like
1:32:20
hearing things like you just said, I mean that that means
1:32:22
that means the world and experience it first hand, man,
1:32:26
just seeing how people react and like, you know, this just the
1:32:30
stories told. What I'm getting at is like,
1:32:31
dude, there's no other way for me like this, is it?
1:32:36
Yeah, Well, I think you found it, man.
1:32:39
Like you, a lot of people are still looking, they're they're
1:32:43
still maybe going through that discovery phase, which is
1:32:46
important. You know, you got to, you got to
1:32:48
got to go through that. But man, once you're locked in,
1:32:53
you know, and I, and I wanted to ask you too, because we, we
1:32:56
still got a few more things to go through.
1:32:58
We have a very, very important piece that you wrote that I want
1:33:03
people to hear too. We'll, we'll, we'll segue into
1:33:06
that eventually. But as we're talking, you know,
1:33:08
about the impact that relentless pursuit has had on you, on the
1:33:15
world, on, on your audience and, and as it continues to grow and
1:33:21
as you continue to evolve, you know, knowing what your purpose
1:33:23
is and then moving forward with purpose being rooted in purpose.
1:33:28
I wanted to ask you something. Is there, is there one thing
1:33:31
that you haven't pursued yet but would like to?
1:33:36
And why would that be? And you know, and why, I guess.
1:33:40
And it's hard to say, well, are you saying like?
1:33:43
Like a vision of, of, you know, something that you have
1:33:47
envisioned with, with regards to relentless pursuit, right?
1:33:50
The, the, the movement, the, the purpose that you have found with
1:33:54
what we're going to call, you know, the, the relentless
1:33:57
pursuit movement. Is there is there a vision that
1:33:59
you haven't pursued yet but would like to?
1:34:03
You know, obviously, like I want to get back into like, you know,
1:34:06
my peril did well, right. And I'd love to bring stuff like
1:34:09
that back. I'd love to grow it utilizing
1:34:15
the the the platform, the podcast, as that grows, like
1:34:20
expand upon what religious pursuit is right.
1:34:26
But you know, it's, you know, it's interesting you asked me
1:34:28
that actually, because I haven't thought about that in a while
1:34:33
because I used to have like a vision.
1:34:38
Like, dude, when I was at my building like a year ago, I was
1:34:42
like, I can see it, but it's almost like this, this artwork
1:34:48
is being painted as I go, you know, like I just kind of like
1:34:54
one of my biggest lessons this year stems from the rune Perth
1:34:58
Row. And at the beginning of the
1:35:02
year, I pulled Perth Row and then I pulled it again.
1:35:05
And it was just like this call to like, dude, just Joe embrace
1:35:08
the unknown, embrace the unknown.
1:35:12
And. Yeah, just throw the roll of the
1:35:14
dice. Kind of thing.
1:35:15
Yeah. And I think with the vision,
1:35:16
it's like it's hard to say that. I just know like it's going in
1:35:23
the direction it was always meant to go, and I think those
1:35:30
things are going to be so clear as it comes about.
1:35:33
Does that make sense? Like.
1:35:34
Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Want to keep growing.
1:35:37
I want to lead with righteous action and I want to impact
1:35:43
others and, and do healing work and connect people and I just
1:35:47
want to see where that kind of action takes it.
1:35:52
It's hard to really, it's crazy because it's hard to really have
1:35:56
a vision of it because honestly, five years ago when I started
1:36:01
it, it's looking nothing like I thought it would.
1:36:05
Yeah, man, I get that. I get that so much 'cause even
1:36:08
with me with what I do. You know I mean it.
1:36:10
It, it, what it started out as is not where it is today.
1:36:14
And so how can I, you know, how do you, how do you, how do you,
1:36:18
how do you put a road map, you know, head on, on something that
1:36:23
has been so fluid and so organic and you're just kind of going
1:36:27
along with it. You're not being, you know,
1:36:30
carried about aimlessly, but you are riding those waves
1:36:36
gracefully, sometimes crashing along the way.
1:36:38
But it's, you know. You're just part of it.
1:36:41
Well, dude, and as you go, you know, you can handle bigger
1:36:45
waves, you can handle more, a little bit more turmoil too.
1:36:48
You know, it's just it's part of the evolution.
1:36:50
You know, I like to think about like, you know, at one point I
1:36:54
was like Frodo when he first got the ring.
1:36:57
I was like, dude, I'm about to go bring this ring to Rivendale.
1:37:00
They can handle this shit. But it's like, that was his big
1:37:04
and he was like ready to get back to the Shire.
1:37:06
Chill. Out.
1:37:06
Yeah, I did my part and. I was like, Nope, it's not how
1:37:11
it's going to work. Every step along the way.
1:37:14
Then they pursued, You know they started heading toward the
1:37:18
mountain, right? Well, guess what frodo's like
1:37:21
doc guys like y'all got to stay here.
1:37:22
I got to go across this water like I got to carry this burden
1:37:25
like a different bat and it just kind of it changed so much along
1:37:29
the way man. But it's working towards like
1:37:31
this like extremely righteous thing, and so I think the
1:37:36
unknowing of what it's going to be look like is but just knowing
1:37:41
like the end goal is just truly the most, I don't know,
1:37:49
authentic, just badass thing. Yeah, since like it, it's more.
1:37:54
About it's It's more about the journey than anything.
1:37:57
It truly is 'cause that's how I want my life.
1:38:00
You know, I thought about this like when I die, if I could
1:38:02
replay my video, my life on in a movie.
1:38:07
Like, I don't want people yawning.
1:38:09
Like, oh, I wouldn't if I was to watch it.
1:38:12
I wouldn't want to be yawning. Like, dude, I wanted to be like
1:38:15
the Lord of the Rings trilogy, man, straight up.
1:38:18
Saga, yeah. Yeah, it's like this hero's
1:38:20
journey, right? And you know, And so, yeah, man,
1:38:24
that's what it's all about. And said this good one of.
1:38:28
The one of the Yeah, it does. Absolutely.
1:38:30
Thank you. That was great, great answer.
1:38:32
And I'm first of all, you know, like hearing you say that, it
1:38:35
just makes me even more excited to be, you know, to, to be
1:38:39
existing at the same time in the same timeline as, as, as Joe and
1:38:44
relentless pursuit and, and everything, you know, like being
1:38:47
being a part of that landscape, you know, Yeah, it's really is
1:38:51
really cool. Thank.
1:38:53
You so much. Yeah.
1:38:56
Thank you. Yeah.
1:38:57
So much of what you said throughout the show today and
1:39:00
shared is very inspirational. And one of the, one of the
1:39:04
beautiful things that I keyed in on was how your current
1:39:07
relationship as, as different as you and your wife are
1:39:10
religiously or spiritually will say that does not change the
1:39:17
cohesiveness, the, the union, the, the, the alignment that you
1:39:20
2 are sharing so much to. So much so that, and I don't
1:39:26
know if this is because of it, but you had written something
1:39:30
that you shared with me when we finished our recording a few
1:39:33
weeks ago. That that talks about Norse
1:39:36
gods. Their specific Norse gods and
1:39:41
the qualities or the aspects of the Christ God.
1:39:46
So it's blending to religious or spiritual things.
1:39:52
But the way you you wove it all together, I thought was really,
1:39:56
really exceptional. And I was hoping that you would
1:40:00
be willing to share that piece with my audience and.
1:40:04
Therefore, part of the world. And I'll be honored to do that.
1:40:08
I actually got it up. It's it's not want to memorize.
1:40:11
I'm an but I'm an avid writer. And so I put a lot of thought
1:40:15
into things like this. And so thank you for giving me
1:40:18
the opportunity to read it honestly, because it's like one
1:40:21
of my yeah, I didn't put it out, but it's one of my favorite
1:40:26
things I've ever written. And it really just like, I don't
1:40:28
know, I reflect on it often. So yeah, let me know when you're
1:40:31
ready for it and I will do it. I'm going to pull up.
1:40:35
I think I'm ready for it and I think everybody else is ready.
1:40:37
I talked about it on last week's episode of the podcast, which is
1:40:41
is the day that you and I are talking now is is is the day
1:40:44
before that episode airs. So for everybody that listened
1:40:47
to last week's episode and heard me talk about this, thankfully,
1:40:50
I wasn't talking out of my ass and we got we got this part
1:40:54
done. So I'm going to turn it over to
1:40:56
you, Joe, and you can you can lead into.
1:40:58
This however you'd like with it. Sweet.
1:40:59
So it's going to be pretty self-explanatory, but it's my
1:41:04
perspective on God because to me, you know, when I tie in when
1:41:11
we talk about the gods, which I believe in the gods, but I also
1:41:16
don't believe in the gods as separate.
1:41:18
I believe them as one. Like they all had their
1:41:22
different parts. They all had their different
1:41:24
personalities and traits and, and, and things that they've
1:41:27
accomplished or done, but it's all the form of 1.
1:41:31
So we look at Christ, right? Christ is like that singular
1:41:34
connection to God for Christians.
1:41:38
And so when I tell people I believe in God, but just not the
1:41:41
way that they get kind of confused.
1:41:42
And I'm like, no, because all of the gods are God.
1:41:46
And so they're like, wait, what? But to me, it's easy to
1:41:49
understand and I think you get where I'm coming from.
1:41:52
But they're all one. And this will, this is this
1:41:56
explains it very well actually. So it'll make more sense as I
1:41:59
read it. The one soul, the 12 gods and
1:42:03
the wholeness within. In ancient Germanic tradition,
1:42:07
the gods were not merely external beings, they were
1:42:09
expressions of deeper truths. While they were honored as
1:42:13
divine, their stories often mirrored the very struggles,
1:42:17
virtues, and transformations we faith face within ourselves.
1:42:21
They symbolized powerful forces of nature, consciousness, and
1:42:25
destiny. To me, they represent archetypes
1:42:29
of the human experience, facets of the soul in motion, not many
1:42:33
gods fighting for attention, but one spirit expressed through
1:42:37
many faces. The 12:00 I've chosen here are
1:42:40
not the only 12, but they form a structure that speaks to
1:42:43
something sacred. And the number 12 is in
1:42:46
countless spiritual traditions, representing divine order and
1:42:51
spiritual completeness. The 12 Olympians of Greece, the
1:42:55
12 tribes of Israel, the 12 disciples of Christ, the 12
1:42:59
Adityas of the Vedas, the 12 houses of the Zodiac, the 12
1:43:04
archetypes of the psyche, the 12 Knights of the Round Table.
1:43:08
Why 12? Because 12 is a sacred
1:43:10
structure, a full wheel, a balanced whole.
1:43:13
To me, these 12 gods reflect the soul, not just in its light, but
1:43:19
in its journey. They represent descent and
1:43:22
initiation, shadow and strength. They're not gods that I've read
1:43:27
about. They're gods I've walked with.
1:43:30
Excuse me. Sorry about that.
1:43:44
No. Where is it?
1:43:45
I lost some reason. OK, so the next part of that is
1:43:49
the one who walks through the dark.
1:43:51
If I had to name one God that reflects me most, it would be
1:43:54
Odin. Not because he's king of the
1:43:56
gods, but because he gave up his Odyssey Truth.
1:43:59
Because he wandered alone to gain wisdom no one else was
1:44:02
willing to bleed for. Because he hung from the tree.
1:44:04
Not for glory, but to understand the soul.
1:44:07
That's me. I've sacrificed stability,
1:44:10
comfort, and ego to chase something deeper.
1:44:12
I've walked away from everything I knew just to get closer to
1:44:15
what's real. I've endured betrayal,
1:44:17
isolation, and heartbreak not to be broken by it, but to become
1:44:21
through, but to become through it.
1:44:23
Odin isn't a figure of perfection.
1:44:25
He's a mirror for those who carry the burden of vision.
1:44:28
Like him, I don't just want answers, I want meaning.
1:44:32
I want the rooms beneath the surface, the sacred knowledge
1:44:35
that that isn't handed to you, but revealed only through pain,
1:44:39
patience, and fire. If I had to name others who live
1:44:42
in me. Tear for his willingness to
1:44:45
sacrifice what is dear in service of what is right.
1:44:47
Freya for the fire of passion, the beauty and grief, and the
1:44:51
refusal to dim my heart. But Odin is the one I've walked
1:44:55
with the longest. He is not.
1:44:57
He's not the end of the path. He is the path and I'm still
1:45:01
walking it now. The 12 Germanic gods as aspects
1:45:06
of the soul. Odin traits, our wisdom, vision
1:45:10
and sacrifice. Soul aspect, The seeker, the
1:45:14
initiator, the soul's hunger for deeper meaning.
1:45:17
Mythic action, sacrifices. I am Mimir's well and hung on
1:45:21
Igorzil to gain divine wisdom. The Christ parallel is Christ
1:45:26
giving himself on the cross to reveal truth.
1:45:29
He who has ears to hear, let him hear.
1:45:33
Thor traits our strength, protection, and action.
1:45:37
The sole aspect, the will to defend what matters and act
1:45:41
righteously. Mythic action fought giants and
1:45:44
defended the realms without hesitation.
1:45:47
Christ parallel Christ overturned tables in the temple.
1:45:50
Righteous force in defense of holiness.
1:45:53
Tear traits our justice, honor, and courage.
1:45:56
Sole aspect is the souls integrity and willingness to
1:45:59
lose for the sake of truth. Mythic action placed his hand in
1:46:03
Fender's mouth to uphold divine law.
1:46:06
Christ stood silent before Pilate, choosing justice over
1:46:11
self preservation. Balder traits of purity, light
1:46:16
and innocence. The divine child within the
1:46:18
core, untouched by the world, loved by all, yet slain through
1:46:23
treachery, representing the loss of innocence.
1:46:26
Christ's parallel is the lame, without blemish for the world's
1:46:30
darkness, without corruption. Freyr traits our abundance,
1:46:35
peace and sacred masculinity. Soul is balanced provision.
1:46:40
The soul's radiant generosity. Mythic action laid down his
1:46:44
sword to pursue peace and love. Christ fed the multitudes and
1:46:49
gave abundantly through presence.
1:46:52
Freya beauty traits our beauty, war and sacred femininity.
1:46:58
Soul is emotion, grief and power lit fiercely and fully.
1:47:03
She chose half the slain, wept, chose half the slain, wept for
1:47:08
love and rode into battle. Christ wept in Lazarus tomb,
1:47:12
embodying love, sorrow and divine passion.
1:47:16
Loki changed chaos and transformation, the necessary
1:47:20
disruption for truth to emerge, broken norms and exposed lies,
1:47:24
causing upheaval for evolution. Christ declared I did not come
1:47:29
to bring peace, but a sword. Disruptive truth, Haimdl,
1:47:34
awareness, watchfulness and divine order, spiritual
1:47:38
alertness and guardianship of the sacred.
1:47:41
He stood guard over by frost, able to hear grass grow.
1:47:46
Christ warned. Watch and pray, for you do not
1:47:49
know the hour. Couple more braggy expression,
1:47:56
music and memory. The soul, the voice that gives
1:48:00
form to spirit, the power of story, mythic action, Spoken
1:48:03
poetry carried the memory of the gods through words Christ taught
1:48:08
in parables. The voice that moved crowds with
1:48:11
a very story, with story and truth.
1:48:14
Yord traiture, stability, provision and the seized wisdom.
1:48:19
Soul. Calm in the storm, steady in
1:48:21
provision, offered safe passage, wealth and peace from the sea.
1:48:26
Christ called the storm with a word, peace be still.
1:48:31
Holder traits, her darkness, unseen truth and inner
1:48:35
reflection. The soul, the blind spots in our
1:48:39
soul, the wounds that act without knowing.
1:48:42
Mythic action killed Balder unknowingly representing hidden
1:48:45
sorrow. Christ said forgive them, for
1:48:48
they know not what they do. And lastly, Vidar, silent
1:48:54
strength, endurance and final victory.
1:48:57
Stillness with power. The quiet one who rises in time,
1:49:01
avenged Odin at Ragnarok by tearing Fenrier's jaws.
1:49:05
Christ's return, Christ's return, Patient, enduring, and
1:49:10
triumphant over death. So Christ's return embodies that
1:49:14
right? So Christ in the completion of
1:49:18
the archetypes. In many ways, Christ is the
1:49:20
synthesis of all 12. He embodies wisdom like Odin,
1:49:24
power like Thor, justice like Tear, compassion like Freya, and
1:49:28
transformation like Loki. He walks with both light and
1:49:31
shadow, sword and stillness, grief and glory.
1:49:34
He is not outside of the gods. He is.
1:49:37
He is the thread that ties them together.
1:49:40
The one soul is the last piece to know these.
1:49:45
So to know the gods. I'll start this over One soul.
1:49:50
To know the gods is to know yourself.
1:49:52
To embody them is to walk in wholeness.
1:49:55
Each of these deities lives within us, not as competing
1:49:58
forces, but as functions of a singular soul trying to remember
1:50:01
itself. Odin's vision Without tears,
1:50:04
courage is useless. Freya's love without Thor's
1:50:07
strength is unprotected. Loki's disruption.
1:50:10
Without handles, watchfulness becomes chaos.
1:50:13
But when they are integrated, we become whole.
1:50:16
This is the one soul. The soul that remembers it is
1:50:19
divine. The soul that walks with God
1:50:21
through many names and many forms.
1:50:23
The soul that doesn't divide the sacred.
1:50:25
It recognizes it in all things. We are not meant to worship
1:50:29
these gods blindly. We are meant to become them and
1:50:32
in doing so, become ourselves. And that's it.
1:50:38
Thank you, man. Thank you, thank you.
1:50:39
And I, I get chills hearing it again, like I did the first
1:50:43
time, the whole like that, that last part, you know, becoming
1:50:48
the gods and, and becoming ourselves, that divinity within
1:50:55
this. It's interesting because as we
1:50:56
talk about this now, the episode that's before this one is
1:51:05
talking about I, I talk about the gods don't want us to
1:51:10
worship them in the sense that Christians understand worship.
1:51:13
We're not blindly obedient to these holy powers.
1:51:19
If you look at the etymology of the word worship, it comes from
1:51:22
an Old English word called and the word is worth shipper, and
1:51:28
it means to acknowledge the worth of something.
1:51:33
So worship is worth ship. For.
1:51:37
For heathens, for, for, for how we see the, the view of the gods
1:51:40
and, and, and us approaching them, right.
1:51:42
We don't worship them blindly And, and you know, see them as
1:51:47
these, you know, benevolent, omniscient and omnipotent
1:51:49
beings. We, we, we see them as worthy
1:51:54
powers for the things that they've done.
1:51:58
And we find that greatness within ourselves.
1:52:01
We look, we look to that examples or to those examples
1:52:04
and then we discover that greatness within.
1:52:07
So it's about connecting. It's about reawakening those
1:52:11
connections. And again, that that that thing
1:52:14
that you wrote, man is, is it needs to go up somewhere like
1:52:17
permanently. Well, it's out now.
1:52:18
I mean, it will be out like people will be able to hear this
1:52:20
now and and and stuff. So you know, the cat's out of
1:52:22
the bag. Oh God, I'll be shoot.
1:52:26
I'll probably just upload it. I got my blog on my website,
1:52:29
probably a good. If that's OK, you know, I mean,
1:52:31
if I can. Oh, dude, I'll be honored for
1:52:33
you to put it out there, man. Yeah, I appreciate that.
1:52:36
I appreciate you man, and thank you for sharing that.
1:52:38
It's going to, I think it's going to give people some, some
1:52:40
real, some, some some solid things to chew on.
1:52:43
Because whenever it's, you know, a lot of various heathen or
1:52:48
Pagan circles and whenever you start putting Christ in the
1:52:51
conversation, it it, it for some reason, it like pisses people
1:52:57
off or ruffles up people's feathers.
1:52:59
And I'm like, but why, you know, like it just get, get this whole
1:53:03
like, you know, they're the enemy out of your head.
1:53:08
I guess I get it. There was a point in time and
1:53:09
there was a period in time when when Christians did really
1:53:11
terrible things to Keithens and pagans.
1:53:14
And, and, but I mean, you can pick a number, you know, at any
1:53:18
given point in history, pick a year at any point in history,
1:53:20
and somebody was doing something bad to somebody else.
1:53:23
You know. The unfortunate part of
1:53:25
humanity. Yeah, I mean, I trust me.
1:53:27
I used to be the same way. I think, you know, I think when
1:53:30
you're like, especially, I don't know, you just have inner
1:53:34
encounters. You, you know, you Start
1:53:36
learning history more and you're like, I, I've once had that
1:53:40
bitterness towards it, right? I used to say a lot of negative
1:53:42
things. And you know, for me, it's more
1:53:44
so like I had just have AI think it's the church structure in a
1:53:48
lot of ways. It's not, it's not necessarily
1:53:49
Christianity, you know, Christ teachings, right?
1:53:53
And that's why when I talk about Christ, I'm not talking about
1:53:56
the church. I'm talking about the walk of
1:53:59
this man. And and and someone asked me
1:54:03
recently and I think she was trying to like save me.
1:54:06
It didn't work, but she was like.
1:54:08
Dang it. Well, it's funny because she was
1:54:11
like, do you think you know Christ?
1:54:12
And I was like, actually, what's, what's wild is I know
1:54:16
Christ more now in my life than I ever knew him because I I
1:54:22
understand his path. I understand his walk.
1:54:24
I understand the lessons there. And there's a lot of beauty in
1:54:27
it, man. I can't deny that.
1:54:28
I respect it, but he is not my Ave. to God.
1:54:33
You know what I'm saying? And and and that's just that's
1:54:36
just what I truly feel right. It's not Christ.
1:54:39
I'm against nothing in his books.
1:54:41
Say go slaughter pagans, eradicate them, you know?
1:54:45
No, it's like the church was the worst thing that happened to, to
1:54:48
Christ's concepts. You know what I mean?
1:54:51
And and his philosophies and all that.
1:54:54
Yeah, exactly. You know, so and that's the
1:54:56
whole thing. I think it's just that, you
1:54:59
know, I don't know future on. Yeah, exactly.
1:55:02
This is beautiful though, what you shared.
1:55:06
So I'm, I'm hoping that it, it impacts other people's lives as
1:55:09
it as it, as it did mine. And I got a couple of more
1:55:12
things. I want to ask you if that's OK
1:55:15
before we wrap it up, because we're we're we're just about at
1:55:19
two hours now, which is great. I appreciate your time.
1:55:21
Thank you so much. But so one of the things I
1:55:25
wanted to. Ask you with regards to you as a
1:55:27
podcast host and having guests on.
1:55:32
What would you say would probably be the most surprising
1:55:34
lesson that you've learned from a guest?
1:55:36
You know, something that shifted your perspective on your own
1:55:40
journey. You're maybe you're going at it
1:55:43
one one thing from 1 angle angle or one perspective.
1:55:46
And then you had a guest come on and and it caused you to rethink
1:55:50
things or shift in a positive way.
1:55:53
I'm looking at my Polaroids at all, I guess.
1:55:55
And I'm like, huh, man, everybody's impacted me in in
1:55:59
some way, right, For the most part, But I always got to refer
1:56:05
back to my, my, my, my mentor Rick, right?
1:56:09
You know, Rick's Rick's the man, a friend of I had a friend that
1:56:16
used to train that's connecting me with the Rick.
1:56:19
You know, Rick's in his 60s. He comes on my show.
1:56:23
We get to talking dude and hearing his story.
1:56:25
And especially in the season that like I was the seasons that
1:56:30
follow it, like with all the transitions and stuff, like in
1:56:33
into the out of that space and dealing where I was with like,
1:56:36
you know, friends and people in my life, 'cause he's impacting
1:56:40
me in more ways. And being a mentor, he's worked
1:56:42
with me through a lot of shit, 'cause he's like a mentor slash
1:56:47
psychologist. I mean, he's not a licensed
1:56:48
buddy. He just got the experience.
1:56:50
And what I'm getting at is, is like, he came on my show and he
1:56:59
started talking about his journey, right, of addiction,
1:57:01
right? His was pornography addiction
1:57:03
almost destroyed his marriage. I mean, they had to rebuild
1:57:05
their marriage because it led to like prostitution and stuff.
1:57:07
I mean, they had walked on their marriage for 10 plus years like
1:57:11
his wife had God, she, she hated life, she wanted to die.
1:57:14
I mean, so bad, right? And I even had her on my show.
1:57:17
I mean, 36 years later, she's more in love with them than
1:57:20
she's ever been, right? So that's a true testament of
1:57:23
like belief and true love. Like that's, it's a, it's a very
1:57:26
powerful thing and they actually work with couples and stuff.
1:57:30
But then moving forward, you know, Rick's like always been
1:57:32
this tougher guy. You know, they worked through
1:57:34
that. Here's a fire captain or
1:57:38
whatever. And like, you know, Anaheim, CA
1:57:41
and you know, really just, you know, masculine guy, right?
1:57:45
You know what I'm saying? And then shoot.
1:57:50
And then like about 11 years ago, his oldest son, so Rick's
1:57:56
the same age as my father, His oldest son would be the same as
1:57:59
me. But eleven years ago, his son
1:58:01
was murdered. And Rick told me this story on
1:58:04
the podcast and like talked about the trial, the actual
1:58:07
story of like how he was murdered.
1:58:09
Man, I remember like I was trying to do this.
1:58:11
Like I, I was like shaking, man. My eyes are tearing up.
1:58:16
I mean, there's tears streaming down my face and just this man
1:58:19
talking about like his son's final, you know, what he heard
1:58:22
his son's final cries were and stuff.
1:58:24
I asked him crying for help. And like I say this, it's like,
1:58:28
Oh my God. Like, dude, I remember like,
1:58:29
that affected me for a while because like, I'm editing all
1:58:33
these clips and I'm trying to make them impactful too.
1:58:36
And I'm just like, constantly like, Oh my God, you know?
1:58:39
Yeah, But here in his journey, right?
1:58:42
And they go through that and they got to work.
1:58:44
He's got to be the rock for his family.
1:58:46
And then just like 3 or 4 years ago, you know, they moved to
1:58:49
Nashville. He and his wife too, and he's
1:58:51
got two other kids, but and then he breaks his neck, he like
1:58:54
paints and he falls and breaks his neck and gets paralyzed from
1:58:58
the chest down and to learn how to walk again.
1:59:01
He's he's walking again. I personally train them too now.
1:59:05
And like we're on this journey, you know, slow and steady, but
1:59:08
you know, it comes full circle because you hear about these,
1:59:11
you know, the addiction and then working through that, like
1:59:13
that's that's a powerful testament of their marriage.
1:59:16
And but then like, you know, overcoming like your son, your
1:59:22
child getting killed in that way, like it's just most people
1:59:25
aren't going to have to face something like that.
1:59:27
And then, you know, breaking your neck.
1:59:30
It's like, dude, what else has this guy got to go through?
1:59:32
And but I titled that episode forgiving the unforgettable
1:59:37
unforgivable because he his full circle.
1:59:42
The whole journey has been about giving himself and from that
1:59:49
he's able to like forgive himself what he did in his
1:59:52
marriage. He's able to like truly forgive
1:59:54
the murderer of his son and truly forgive, you know, himself
1:59:58
or how he acted, you know, after he broke his neck, like and, and
2:00:03
for someone to be able to find forgiveness and such insane
2:00:06
things. That's been, I mean it always,
2:00:09
always reflect on it because I got dealt with betrayal and
2:00:11
stuff and so. I think it's just that's such AI
2:00:15
don't know, man. For some reason that's one that
2:00:17
is just like constantly played back to me because like even
2:00:22
when I go through some shit or I deal with somebody, I'm like,
2:00:24
man, if he could forgive that, you know, it's still hard for
2:00:28
him. But like in the end of the day,
2:00:29
man, they've they've, I find that forgiveness.
2:00:31
They've been able to use their son, like for example, his son's
2:00:34
death for the betterment of their entire family.
2:00:38
Like it's almost like his son was like, it's crazy.
2:00:41
I mean, they've even said his father even said it.
2:00:43
Like it was almost like that was meant to happen for their family
2:00:46
to be there where they're at now, which is a wow, you know?
2:00:49
And so I say that, wow, that's shifted my perspective so much,
2:00:53
you know? Definitely.
2:00:55
Because it's so extreme, you know.
2:00:57
So anyways, I've got you the whole story already.
2:01:02
Yeah, I'm about to go back and listen or watch that episode,
2:01:05
man, because I think I saw a couple of clips from from it and
2:01:08
I was like, oh, this is intense. Yeah, look for the white
2:01:11
mustache. Yeah, that's right.
2:01:12
Yeah. Like a like a old Sam Elliott
2:01:14
kind of they all going on. Yeah, yeah.
2:01:18
But yeah, so that great. Answer man.
2:01:19
Been one that, yeah, definitely had a big impact.
2:01:23
But they've all been proud. Powerful man, I mean.
2:01:26
Yeah, I hear you. And every day I get, I get that.
2:01:30
You know, I've, I've been, you know, this is our sixth season.
2:01:34
Every season is between, between, you know, 40 and 50
2:01:40
episodes roughly, you know, and this is the 6th 1.
2:01:43
Dang. This one, this episode is the
2:01:45
31st. So every person that I have,
2:01:49
they're not, not all, not all episodes have guests, but I, I,
2:01:53
I can think of something from almost every episode of with a
2:01:56
guest that has left a lasting impression and, and giving me a
2:02:00
perspective. So I can relate to that.
2:02:03
It's cool man. Yeah.
2:02:06
So I got a couple of rapid fire sort of light hearted things.
2:02:09
I just want to throw you away before we wrap things up.
2:02:12
That's cool with. You, I kind of want to fire some
2:02:14
of the questions back at you like, well what about what's but
2:02:17
then it would be we'd be here for three hours so.
2:02:20
Yeah, we'll have to do this again.
2:02:22
Yeah, we'll make it happen. To do it again.
2:02:23
I'll either come to you or we'll do this again, like this or
2:02:25
something. We'll figure it out.
2:02:27
How about this? Yeah, we could.
2:02:29
We could make a thing of it, man.
2:02:30
For sure. But OK.
2:02:33
Just blindly first thought. Relentless pursuit in one word
2:02:36
is. Shoot, I gotta fire it off,
2:02:44
don't I? It's a, it's a, it's an on the
2:02:49
point, you know, off the cuff, very pointed question.
2:02:51
I get it, never really think about it.
2:02:53
What, what, what could I use to describe it in one word?
2:02:56
But if you could come up with just one word to describe
2:02:59
relentless pursuit. Purpose, yeah.
2:03:05
Yeah, you couldn't have, couldn't have, couldn't,
2:03:07
couldn't have come up with a better answer.
2:03:08
And I'm not trying to be facetious here or whatever, but
2:03:11
the name of this episode is rooted in purpose.
2:03:13
You didn't know that so. So there you go.
2:03:20
OK. Here's another one, great one by
2:03:22
the way, I love, you know, being purpose driven and finding
2:03:24
knowing what purpose is, you know, you can be, you can have
2:03:27
an intention to do something that's totally different from
2:03:30
having. Purpose.
2:03:32
Purpose saves lives, man. This does a lot does.
2:03:37
So if Relentless Pursuit was a book title, what would be the
2:03:41
epilogue? How would the epilogue read?
2:03:45
Epilogue. Yeah, that kind of like, you
2:03:48
know what that is right. Like the the the thing at the
2:03:50
end that kind of summarizes the story of the book.
2:03:54
Dang, that's that's crazy because I actually got a book
2:03:57
title of a book. I'm going to eventually, you
2:03:59
know, put out. It's not really this pursuit,
2:04:02
but it's very close. The epilogue shoot.
2:04:10
I'm such a perfectionist. I want to like nail this, but I
2:04:13
know it's part of it. I'm not going to.
2:04:16
I know it's off the cuff and it's rapid fire, so I mean, it
2:04:18
is what it is, but you know, it's thought it'd be fun.
2:04:21
You know, I think it'd be like it almost like to me, it's like
2:04:23
imagining like once you're talking about, you know, because
2:04:26
there's like you got archetypes, right.
2:04:27
And so I always loved the idea of airborne just like on his
2:04:32
pursuit, like becoming who he's supposed to become, but like
2:04:35
while resisting it, but just being righteous, right?
2:04:38
And so like very much like that in like a mythic way, like, oh,
2:04:41
Joe Adams, like, you know, just just man wandering through lies,
2:04:46
facing trials and tribulations. And but he moves forward with
2:04:50
action and God, there's something getting.
2:04:54
Hurled off the motorcycle 90 feet and coming, you know,
2:04:57
coming back. Yeah, but I would say like
2:05:00
worded different, like it's like a horse, you know, like I got a.
2:05:03
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back in the day with Little
2:05:05
Ring, you know, with Tolkien and him.
2:05:08
A dragon crashed into his Yeah. Exactly.
2:05:12
You know, try to visualize it that way.
2:05:15
Yeah, Yeah. And then all this was the, you
2:05:17
know, I'm going to just use my title for my vote, but yeah.
2:05:21
Anyways, it's just this crazy journey.
2:05:23
But it's, it's also the storm he chose, because all this is the
2:05:28
storm I chose, you know, and so I, I've chosen my path and, and
2:05:34
I think, I don't know, that's kind of like the epilogue and
2:05:38
shit. Riding through the storm that we
2:05:40
choose and you said something recently that makes me think of
2:05:44
that response is that we are we we we are more afraid of the
2:05:52
what what did you say you you wrote you recently posted it
2:05:54
something about the fear of the storm.
2:05:56
Oh, the fear of this storm is much.
2:06:03
The fear of the storm is much worse than the storm itself.
2:06:06
That's it. Yeah, yeah, man.
2:06:10
Ties in beautifully. I appreciate that.
2:06:12
Yeah. Like that's that's, I mean,
2:06:13
that's the whole thing, you know, and that's what it's all
2:06:16
been about, man. It's just like riding through
2:06:18
riding through storms and growing along the way, coming
2:06:22
out on the other side. But like, you know, also seeing
2:06:24
another storm and heading straight into that one and just.
2:06:27
That's a lot worse from the outside.
2:06:29
Yeah, dude. But like, what comes on the
2:06:31
other side, like you're almost like you're like, dude, I made
2:06:33
it to this destination, man. And that's just like, I don't
2:06:36
know, I could like put that in the ample log, just like
2:06:40
overcoming all the storms, man. Yeah.
2:06:43
Yeah. Beautiful last one I got for you
2:06:45
man. What is one small practice,
2:06:48
whether it be a daily thing or a weekly thing, that you do that
2:06:52
has kept your drive alive? My drive.
2:06:57
Yeah. I don't know what it is.
2:07:08
It's I think it's hard to say because the drive is not always
2:07:20
been there my whole life. I had to go through some shit
2:07:23
for that, that drive to be something that's just become
2:07:27
almost a net, just a part of me. But it's, you can have all the
2:07:36
drive you want, right, all the discipline.
2:07:41
But I think the, the key there is to keep the drive alive is
2:07:45
keeping things in alignment. And so for me is like on a
2:07:49
weekly basis, like I focus on that alignment.
2:07:52
And a big piece of that is every Monday I do a room reading for
2:07:57
myself. I've been on this room journey,
2:08:00
man, and I'm telling you like it's been so unreal what the
2:08:04
ruins have, like how I've allowed them.
2:08:08
Like I'm not going to the rooms for answers because they're not
2:08:10
going to give you 1 answer. Like it's pretty broad and it
2:08:14
kind of evolves. I mean, you got that base
2:08:16
meaning, but it evolves. And the ruins have just been
2:08:19
this like these pieces that have helped me, like just, I don't
2:08:26
know, it's almost like I can't see shit in front of me.
2:08:29
But they're like the Lantern in a way, right?
2:08:34
So that's been for some reason. I first that that comes up first
2:08:38
is like the rooms have been an essential part of like keeping
2:08:43
everything in alignment, like spiritually with my family with
2:08:47
the purpose of the business. And when when like all those
2:08:50
things line up, not only does that combine with the Dr. Propel
2:08:57
you for, but it also like gives you more drive, I guess.
2:09:01
So I think just, I think that's the for me, yeah, that's it is
2:09:04
like being intentional about staying aligned is the big thing
2:09:13
for me, yeah. Nice.
2:09:16
And just like at the end of the day man, just like never fucking
2:09:21
given up, dude. Like, I know it sounds cliche,
2:09:24
like people say don't give up, but like truly, like if you
2:09:28
believe in something that you hope is going to succeed, like
2:09:31
you got to eliminate hope out the window.
2:09:33
Like it's so crazy because it's like all in faith.
2:09:38
Like you're on the tightrope. There's the goal, there's fire
2:09:42
down here, That's the fear. But you just stay like honed in,
2:09:46
like you're riding, you're walking that tightrope, like
2:09:50
perfectly. Locked in.
2:09:53
And it's just like, yeah, you just got to eliminate it, man,
2:09:55
and just and, and embrace the unknown along the way.
2:09:58
And I think that's been the key too.
2:09:59
So anyways I can I feel I can stay long enough for other shit.
2:10:05
Nah, yeah, it's, I appreciate that.
2:10:06
I love your answers. I love the, the, the thought
2:10:09
that you put into these things. It shows you know you're you're,
2:10:14
you're driven by purpose, man, Rooted in purpose.
2:10:18
So I gotta work on my epilogue. Like the, it's like the, it's
2:10:20
like the episode Rd. itself, the title of the episode Rd. itself.
2:10:23
But yeah, dude, yeah. I've been on a runic journey
2:10:25
myself over the years, but here lately, everyday I write a an
2:10:30
alliterative poem on each of the runes.
2:10:33
And I just as of today, you know, at the time people hear
2:10:36
this, I'll be about probably almost halfway through the last
2:10:43
ET. But right now I just did ESA ice
2:10:51
and but yeah, like as I'm posting these, you know, people
2:10:54
ask, you know, so many things like, Oh well, what you know.
2:10:58
What? What would be a ruin?
2:11:00
That I should meditate on when it comes to this or that.
2:11:03
And I I had an encounter over over a social media post that
2:11:08
was a comment to to one of the other rune poems.
2:11:11
I think it was maybe now of these or Hagalas or one of them
2:11:15
too, because it was recent. And the person asked, you know,
2:11:17
what should I something to do with vengeance?
2:11:22
You know, which rune should I meditate on when it comes to
2:11:24
vengeance? And I said, I said revenge is an
2:11:32
act wrought with reason. So here's here's where here's
2:11:35
when things like this happen. Where, where the the the meat of
2:11:38
poetry, you know, author here. That that divine inspiration
2:11:42
comes through and I get very poetic about these things.
2:11:44
So I said revenge is an act wrought with reason to seek
2:11:48
balance on scales tipped out of favor.
2:11:51
The runes are not solutions to problems.
2:11:55
Bending their boon breaks the bones of brethren.
2:12:01
That's like you were saying, you know, I'm not, I'm not trying to
2:12:03
find the answers with them. I'm not trying to look at well,
2:12:06
what should I meditate on for this thing that or the other,
2:12:10
because and then the last thing I said to them was I said, be
2:12:12
wary of weaving your weird too strongly with the mysteries,
2:12:16
lest your lest you become lost in the loom.
2:12:20
Wow. Is that going to be that that
2:12:23
can happen? You know, you get into the
2:12:25
Mystic Mystic sides of things or you think I'm going to get my
2:12:28
answers based off of this symbol or the this casting or this or
2:12:31
that. There's, there's, there's
2:12:34
madness in that divine, you know, thing too, you know, so as
2:12:38
it as a, as an Odinsman, you know, as a man who walks with
2:12:43
Odin and talked about, you know, like there's that there's,
2:12:46
there's that lesson too. No, you're 100% right man.
2:12:49
That constant, like trying, that constant trying to understand,
2:12:53
like have the answers can almost keep you from you and make
2:12:58
making any progress at all, you know, And like you said, like
2:13:03
let it be a guide. I mean, I don't write a poem,
2:13:05
but like I write a quote with every rune, you know, I put it
2:13:08
on my white board and like I pulled Fahu this week and it
2:13:11
says true wealth is not what you keep, it's what you set in
2:13:14
motion, you know, So like, I'm not looking at it.
2:13:17
Oh, this is sign I'm going to make some money, you know, But
2:13:20
it's like it's something deeper than that, right?
2:13:23
Right. Right, Yeah, the, the, the
2:13:25
wealth that goes forward, the wealth that moves mobile.
2:13:28
Yeah. Mobile wealth.
2:13:30
Yeah, for sure. Beautiful man.
2:13:31
Thank you so much for sharing that last bit, answering my
2:13:35
questions. Being a great guest coming onto
2:13:38
the show in this way, it's not the same experience as as being
2:13:42
in studio, but you're kind of in your studio and I'm in mine and
2:13:45
we're here together and we rocked it out and I had a great
2:13:47
time. Dude, this is so much fun man I
2:13:50
I freaking loved it. I could sit here and talk to you
2:13:52
for hours, bro. If this is killer time, I'm very
2:13:54
humbled and honored that you would bring me on and just the
2:13:57
things you said. I mean, the things I've learned
2:13:59
from you as well, man. I love hearing you chat.
2:14:03
I'd love to hear what you have to say.
2:14:04
And I, I just love the fact that we're we've come together on
2:14:10
this journey. I think you know where I'm at in
2:14:12
my life is the perfect time to meet you because I think we
2:14:16
could help each other grow a lot, man.
2:14:17
And I'm I'm here for it. So am I and I'm glad that our,
2:14:22
you know, we, we have a vision. We each have our purpose that we
2:14:26
are aware of and we're living in alignment with that purpose.
2:14:30
And let's, let's do stuff, man. Let, let's, let's make an
2:14:35
impact. Let's let's change people's
2:14:36
lives. Yeah, in.
2:14:39
A good way? That's what it's all about, man.
2:14:41
Oh yeah, of course, man. We got we got some work to do,
2:14:44
man, but we just got to keep pushing.
2:14:45
Just keep at it. Well, is there anything else
2:14:48
that you want to plug or say about your brand or anything
2:14:50
where people can find you, how they can support what you do?
2:14:56
Anything else that you want to add to this before we wrap it
2:14:58
up? Yeah man you know you can find
2:15:01
me Instagram. I could use some help there got
2:15:04
the permanently deleted like a year and a half ago, so lost a
2:15:07
lot of people but building that back up and some good content.
2:15:10
So for some reason I'm I'm back on it.
2:15:13
They nothing's happened, but it's Joe at at Joe Adams under
2:15:18
score RP. But the most support I can get.
2:15:21
Man. Just check out my channel, check
2:15:24
out my show, the relentless pursuit podcasts.
2:15:28
You'll see my logo. It's the, you know.
2:15:33
That RP and the shield, yeah. You'll see that I'm on all
2:15:37
platforms. YouTube's the best 'cause
2:15:40
there's videos, me and my hat's crooked.
2:15:44
But anyways, yeah, so I'm on everywhere there.
2:15:46
But yeah, the Reload shoe podcast, man, show that show my
2:15:49
channel support 'cause that's, that's that's what Stokes the
2:15:52
fire man. So.
2:15:54
Definitely everything will be linked, you know, for the
2:15:58
listeners in the show notes, but also for folks that watch the
2:16:02
full video on Patreon, they'll be LinkedIn their description so
2:16:05
they can find you there. And yeah, folks, when wherever
2:16:08
you find, whatever you absorb your podcast or wherever you
2:16:11
absorb content, you know, just check Joe's stuff out.
2:16:15
He's he's definitely doing good things and deserves all the
2:16:18
support that he can get. So check him out.
2:16:21
I appreciate that brother hanging in anything I can do to
2:16:23
support you in return, Dude, you know I've got it.
2:16:25
But thank you again, man. It's been, it's been a blast.
2:16:28
Absolutely don't go anywhere real quick.
2:16:30
I'm going to sign everybody off of from from the show and I'll,
2:16:33
I'll debrief with you here for just a couple of minutes before
2:16:36
I send you on your way. It's freaking man.
2:16:38
It's coming. It's attacking hard right now.
2:16:40
Hi, you know what I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to
2:16:43
charge this guy next time. I'm going to charge the gnat for
2:16:46
for his appearance because he's just being relentless.
2:16:50
Yeah. Oh, he's in my studio.
2:16:51
It makes sense. Yeah, yeah.
2:16:52
It's the relentless Nat relent. Yeah, I was going to try to make
2:16:55
a play on words, but I'm going to give up on that.
2:16:58
We'll come up with something, hey.
2:16:59
We'll come up with something. Thanks.
2:17:01
For thanks for listening to my story.
2:17:02
I appreciate y'all keep supporting Jesse, he's the man.
2:17:06
Thanks, Joe. Yeah, definitely appreciate the
2:17:08
support guys and gals out there listening wherever you are,
2:17:11
absorbing wherever you are. However, you can check out
2:17:14
everything in the description or show notes of the show to
2:17:17
provide support in any way that you can.
2:17:18
And once again, if you're not on Patreon yet, it's just a dollar
2:17:21
pledge and it helps out in all the the ways that you can
2:17:24
possibly think of. Even though it's not a lot for
2:17:26
you, it's a lot for us on this side.
2:17:28
So if nothing else, share the podcast around, get people
2:17:31
listening, watching, viewing, subscribing, whatever the case
2:17:34
may be. And until we talk to each other
2:17:37
again, thank you for your support.
2:17:40
May the gods continue to notice you and may your ancestors smile
2:17:44
upon you. We'll see you in the next one
2:17:46
now. Do good one and I'm doing when I
2:17:50
start.