Latest / High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm / What Biblical Submission Actually Looks Like

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What Biblical Submission Actually Looks Like · High Level Wife Podcast with Chelsey Holm

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the High Level Wife Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am Chelsea Holm, your hostess, and here we do Marriage God's Way.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're we are gonna dive into what biblical submission actually looks like and the daily decisions that build oneness.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because in the last four episodes, we we've spent time talking about God's authority, his design, and why order matters.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: But now I want, but now I know, right, what many of you are thinking.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Chelsea, practically speaking, what does submission actually look like?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I told you in the last episode we're gonna talk, we're gonna dive into that.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because for many women, we've only seen two extremes.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: We've seen domination or complete passivity, but neither of those reflect Christ.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And submission is much more beautiful than either of those.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, submission is a posture before it's a behavior.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You don't wake up and act submissive.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: You first surrender your heart to Christ, and everything else flows from there.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Submission looks like trusting God's design, even when your feelings disagree or when culture disagrees, or even and especially when it feels unnatural, because trust perceives behavior.
• 1:48
  unknown: Right?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: What are you trusting in?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: When we're squeezed, it reveals what we're trusting in, because that is how we react or respond.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Submission looks like honor, and honor isn't earned, it's given.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: In Romans 12, it says, outdo one another and showing honor.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Honor isn't pretending your husband is perfect or waiting until he is for you to show him honor.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's choosing to treat him with the dignity God has given him.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Submission looks like respect.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 5 ends with let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, how do I speak to him?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do I speak about him?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: How do I respond when I disagree?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because respect isn't agreement, it's posture.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: Submission looks like influence, not control.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: You absolutely have wisdom, respective, discernment, insight.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: God gave you a voice, and submission doesn't remove your voice, it changes how you use it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're an easer, a helper fit for him, not his Holy Spirit, not his mother, not his manager, manager.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I almost said major, manager.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I want to give you a real life example of this.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: So my husband was offered a special position uh for the military.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: We were already up for a move cycle, anyways.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we just hadn't had the list yet or any of the details of that.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: But this came up, and as my husband was telling me about it, I just felt the overwhelming sense in my spirit welling up that this fits so perfectly with my husband's spiritual gifts.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like I just had passages coming to mind of like Proverbs 31 of her husband is known in the gates.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and so when he he got done telling me all about this, you know, I just the first thing I said was, Yes, this is so perfect for you.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I see this as an open door of opportunity for the Lord to grow you and deploy and use the gifts that He has specifically knit in you and the talents that He's given you to multiply, right?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Submission doesn't remove your voice, it literally gives you a space and an authority to use it to help your husband to build into him, to build him up, to speak life into him, not to be his mother, to manage him.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: In the past, I would have said, Well, have you prayed about this first?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: But as a surrendered wife, I know my husband is already praying.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I know that.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I know that he's in the word.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It may look different than it looks for me, or how I think that it should look.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not up to me to decide because I'm not his Holy Spirit, I'm not his mother, and I'm not his manager.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, submission looks like making specific requests, it's not manipulative manipulation or criticism or vague frustration instead of you never help.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's I feel overwhelmed today.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Would you help me with bedtime tonight?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or I feel anxious today.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in God's word and it's giving me comfort and peace.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: But can you help me talk through this?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: It it's not telling your husband you don't lead.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's can we pray together tonight?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's respectful, it's clear, it's inviting because God invites us into intimacy with Him.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Submission looks like trusting God with outcomes.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where most wives struggle, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: They it's on our timeline, but a day to the Lord is a thousand years to us, and a thousand years to him is a day to us, right?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's not within our timeline because we get stuck in these these this mindset of I obeyed, but he didn't change.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: But remember, submission isn't a strategy to change your husband.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, submission isn't a strategy to change your husband, it's worship toward God.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Obedience belongs to you.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Transformation belongs to him, capital H Him, the Lord Almighty.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And again, submission does not mean tolerating abuse or excusing sin or remaining silent when truth needs to be spoken.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: It also doesn't mean becoming invisible or having no opinions or pretending you're okay when you're not okay, or never confronting, or bringing concerns.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's definitely not enabling dysfunction because Jesus never ignored sin and neither should we.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: But before responding to your husband, you need to ask, ask the Lord, go to the Lord.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Am I trying to control or influence here?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Am I speaking from fear or faith?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Am I protecting myself or am I pursuing oneness?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Am I reacting or am I responding?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Is this inviting unity or is this creating division?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is this taking an elevated position or is this humbling myself before the Lord and my spouse?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because the goal of submission isn't about making women smaller, it's about making Christ bigger.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's saying my marriage isn't ultimately about me winning, it's about Christ being seen.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being a fragrance to the world, the aroma of Christ.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's about the gospel applied, right?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's about being the salt and the light to this world.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because when a wife lives this way, she creates an atmosphere where peace can grow, respect can grow, trust can grow, oneness can grow.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not because she's controlling the outcome.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, she's taking her hands off and giving it completely to the Lord because He's the only one who can do something about everything.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's because she's choosing faithfulness.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: God never asks you to carry the responsibility of changing your husband.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say that again because so many of you are.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because the question is, what actually happens when a husband and a wife begin living God's way?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because God's design doesn't just produce better communication, uh, it produces peace and freedom and security and joy and mission and a marriage that reflects the gospel to the watching world.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: The world is watching you.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Your children are watching you.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: What are they seeing?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna wrap this one up with some, I'm calling them money lines.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like these are the takeaways.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like these are the pause it and write it down and and and meditate on it, okay?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Submission isn't about losing your voice, it's about surrendering your heart to God's design.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: You are called to influence your husband, not control him.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this influence primarily comes through building him up and speaking life into him that is rooted and grounded in the love of Christ.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Submission is not a strategy to change your husband, it's an act of worship toward your savior, capital S Savior.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility is faithfulness, God's responsibility is transformation.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you on the next episode.