Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / Living Single vs. Girlfriends Debate, Why Women Are Going Child-Free & Starting Therapy

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Living Single vs. Girlfriends Debate, Why Women Are Going Child-Free & Starting Therapy · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Before we get started with the podcast, gotta let you know,
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: I'll be setting sail on the One Voyage cruise October
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: 26th through November 1st, sailing out of Miami on Virgin
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Voyages Resilient Lake. Now, this is not your average cruise.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Six days at sea stops in the Bahamas and Bimini
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: and a lineup that's stacked with artists like T.I., Rick Ross,
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: and a whole lot more. And a portion of every
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: cabin funds scholarships for HBCU students, so it's a party
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: with a purpose. On the cruise, I'll be hosting live
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: episodes of Too Personal and The Daily Play, running watch parties,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and throwing my Halloween party at sea. So if this
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: sounds like a good time to you, go to onevoyagecruise.com
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: and use the code JOY. Let's set sail. Hey guys,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: welcome to Too Personal. I'm Joy Taylor. Thanks so much
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: for joining us. Make sure you hit subscribe, follow us
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: on social at Too Personal Show. I'm here with Haley
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: and Spex. Hi, Spex.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, hello, hello, hello.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Spex, you got the people going with your appreciation of
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: nudes the other day.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, I mean, the nudes create excitement. So I think
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: that was just kind of like, you know what I mean?
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I don't think I did anything special. I just think
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: I just told the truth.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: I think you genuinely exhibited true appreciation for the female form.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: And that is a good thing.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: That's what I plan to do every day I wake.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: Up in the morning.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Well, it was great. So Haley, what is going on
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: today in the world? What chaos ensues?
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I want to start with a recent online discussion
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: that I've seen. where women are choosing to be child-free
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: now more than ever. Now we've talked about babies. We've
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: talked about kids, having kids, not wanting having kids various
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: times on this podcast.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: However, I wanted to get into this one particularly because
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: I do have a child and I feel this in
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: my core now more than ever right now. I am
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: struggling with half of me wants to have another one.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: And the other half is like, Ooh, I kind of
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: like it over here.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: It's easier.
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: I'm in my bag. I'm a little more free. He's older.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: He can fit for himself. Not as a full-functioning eight-year-old,
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: might I add.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: He's not Da Vinci, okay?
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: No, he's not Da Vinci.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: He can't do laundry yet.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: No, but I want to talk about it because I
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: know that you don't want to have children, but I
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: know that you are surrounded by a lot of people
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: who are wanting to have kids later, do have kids.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: Maybe they're scaling back from wanting to have as many
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: kids as they once wanted to have. So I think
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: this is a really interesting topic and I want us
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: to get into it.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it has a lot of, there's a
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: lot of different factors into why women are saying that
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: they don't want to have children. I don't think it's
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: one thing. I think the main thing is that far
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: more women than it was previously assumed, uh, never wanted
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: to have children. I think it was always a societal, um,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: ideological patriarchal financial, um, expectation of women to have children
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: and to have multiple children. And so there was never
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: the room for women who were like, I don't want
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: to have kids. Like it wasn't really an option for
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: a lot of women, whether or not they were going
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: to have children. Like it was, unless you can't have
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: physically could not have children, you are expected to have children.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: And the more children.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: Only the pullout method too.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, when did birth control come around?
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: There's been birth control has been around for a while.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Birth control's been around for a while, but the, and
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: birth control is not a hundred percent. Okay. Um, there,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: there are just like societal changes that have provided women
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: with the ability to have more choices over their lives.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: They can not get married and not be, you know,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: cast out of society. They can make their own money.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: They can buy their own property. They can start their
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: own businesses. They can run for president. You know, they
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: can have children if they want to or not. They
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: can have surrogates, you know, so there's there's all these
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: societal changes that have played a role in more women
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: not having children than before. But I think that's mostly
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: women who never wanted to have children like me now
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: just being able to exercise that without severe consequences. But
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: the other part of it, I think, is what you
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: are talking about as someone who has a child and
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: as someone who's had conversations with their partner about having
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: more children. I think that the world as it is
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: currently constructed is not a great place for kids and
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: it's not a great place for parents.
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: No, I did not feel how I feel now. When
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: I got pregnant with Aiden, the world was a very different. Also,
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: I've just wanted to be a mom since I was
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: four years old. Like I was in preschool pretending like
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: I was all the baby's moms. And I like actually
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: have this visual in my head. Like that's just been
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: a thing. I was like meant to be a mom.
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: But now I'm like, ooh, do I want to bring a,
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: having one child in this, the world we live in
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: right now is already stressful. Do I want to then
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: enter another life that has to deal with whatever is,
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: we don't even know what the hell is about to happen.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: Like I'm torn.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, and I think that's a very fair fear.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: And I think it's a fear that a lot of
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: women have. I think it's a fear that a lot
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: of people, parents have that, you know, is the world
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: more unsafe than it was when we were kids? Is
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: the world more unsafe than it was, you know, seven,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: eight years ago for children? I think it is because
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: all the things that existed when we were kids still exist.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And now there's the internet. Now there's massive international sex
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: trafficking rings. There's AI kiddie porn pages. There's all of
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: these new horrors that did exist in some capacity before,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: but now have just only been accelerated. Also, you have
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: to consider the economy. We are living in really hard
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: financial times for a lot of people. what it costs
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: to raise a child, just to have a basic childhood
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: is outrageous. Childcare is outrageous. They're not safe at school.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: There's school shootings. The food is terrible. The opportunities that
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: they have to grow up and have a real job
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and a real life are very slim. It's impossible to
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: buy a house. I really shudder every time I hear
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: these dumb ass conversations online about how you know, women
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: and feminism is to blame and, you know, that women
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: aren't having kids anymore and people aren't, you know, religious
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: the way they used to be and they don't value family.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: And it's like, no, that like some little droplets of
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: all of that can be true. But there are, the
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: whole thing is a stew of problems and considerations when
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: you're having kids. And I haven't even gotten into like
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: the maternity mortality rate. for pregnant women and for black women,
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: like the, the laws in certain States, like you can,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: you can be a mother, you can want the child
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: and have an ectopic pregnancy and die in the parking
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: lot because of these insane abortion laws. Like you can't
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: get proper healthcare as a woman in this country because
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: these people are so fucking insane. So I, I do
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: think that, you know, as someone who doesn't want kids,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: but who, loves kids and who obviously very much supports
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: all the people in my life that have kids. I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: get it. It's like, I don't want kids because I
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: don't want to be a mother, but there are plenty
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: of people who want to have children who want to
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: be stay at home moms who, you know, want to
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: have multiple children. And it's like, there's so much more
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: to consider these days when having kids and it's, I
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: do get like, you can get overwhelmed by information and
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: get paralyzed by it. For sure.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: Like I do want to give Aiden a sibling like
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: so bad, but even like, I'm even scared. Like I
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: want to go off birth control so bad. I've been
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: on birth control since I was 13 years old. I'm
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: sure it's wrecked incredible havoc on my body, but I'm
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: terrified to go off it because what if I.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Go off it?
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: And then that's the one day I get, it's just,
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: it's so many things in my mind right now where
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: I'm just like, I don't know. I truly do not
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: know what I want to do.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, it's not an easy choice bringing a
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: life into the world. I don't think it is something
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: that people should be casual about. And it's, you know,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: part of the reason why I get so pissed at
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: people that have kids and then continue to fuck their
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: life up. Cause I'm like, maybe that's unfair. You know,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: you don't stop being a human just because you have kids,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: but if you're choosing to be a parent, then you're
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: choosing to sacrifice part of your individuality or all of
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: your individuality. And yeah, I take that seriously. It's another
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: reason why I don't want kids. I like my life
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: without kids. And I take it seriously enough that I
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: would say that my life would permanently and irrevocably change. Well,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: that means the same thing, but it would change forever
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: if I had a kid. So yeah, I get it.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: And I feel for parents and I particularly feel for
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: moms because society is already built against women and then
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: they're trying to actively to make it worse while saying
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: that they want people to have more kids. And, you know, the,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: the birth rate is <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: you know, minimum wage workers. Cause that's what it sounds like.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: It sounds like you just need a army of uneducated
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: people to work your low income jobs to help feed
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: the elites. Well, people are not so interested in that. Like,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: you know, you want to give your kid opportunity and
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: this is supposed to be the land of opportunity. Well,
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: make it look like that then. Cause right now to
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of people, it looks like, okay, I'm going
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: to be, I'm already struggling. If I have another kid,
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to struggle more. Cause that's another mouth to feed.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: That's another kid to put in daycare. That's another kid
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: to have to find activities for. That's another kid to
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: get a screen that's for, you know, that's another iPad
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I have to buy. That's like the more shoes and clothes.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: And it's like, it's crazy. Yeah. It's a lot.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: You know what I read the other day? It was like,
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: it was someone made a content video and it was
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: so true. It was like, I'm expected to To be
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: at work from 8 to 4, 8 to 5. Pick
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: my kid up at 2.30. Get them to extracurriculars by 3.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: Home and eating dinner by 5.36. Homework done. Bath or showered.
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: In bed by like.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: 8, 8.30.
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: How?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: How?
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: If you are not an entrepreneur or work for yourself
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: and can make your own schedule, how are people supposed
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: to get it done?
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: They do it. I don't know. They got magic carpets
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: or something, but they do it. But the thing is
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: like when people talk about, oh, well, you know, my
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: mom did it and she was a single mom. Good
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: for her. Like shout out to single moms. The reason
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: we say that's so amazing because it's so fucking hard
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: to do. And guess what? No matter how much your
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: mama loves you and tells you, you know, how proud
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: of you she is. She was suffering. Yeah. Okay. She
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: was stressed. She was lonely. She was tired. She was exhausted.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: She was worried. Hey, don't make sure I sign up
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: for that bullshit. Like, what are you talking about? That's
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: not an ideal life. And so like, there's also this,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: you know, gender war of things going on too, where
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: these gender associations of like who's responsible for what are skewed.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, your parents, your father worked and
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: provided all the money so that your mother could work
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: to keep the house and make sure you got to
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: your fucking baseball practice and make sure you had your
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: little packed lunch and make sure you had your new
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: shoes and your, you know, your, your new school uniform
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: every year. And like, how do you think all this
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: shit happens? Santa Claus, like the world has changed. Both
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: parents have to work. And even then that's not even
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: enough money anymore. So yeah, I mean, I think I
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: absolutely get why people are considering not having kids and
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: why they are prioritizing, especially like my generation of, of millennials. Well,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: you're a millennial too, but yeah, you know, our generation
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: of millennials, we have, we're like, I'm cool on the stress.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: Like I've done enough.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: My shoulders are already high and they can't get it.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: I can't afford to get them any higher.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to give myself. you know, an autoimmune
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: disease to prove something to somebody on the internet. Like,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: fuck that. I'm not doing that. So, you know, I
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: think it's a lot of different factors that are playing
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: into this, but it is a real thing. And, you know,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: as someone who doesn't want kids, there's nothing you could
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: tell me to get me to have a child. Believe me,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: it's been done. But for people who do want kids, I,
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I really feel for them. It's not an easy space
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: to bring a kid into. And again, I continue to
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: say this because I have so many children, so many
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: babies in my life. Y'all don't give a fuck about
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: these kids. No, you do not give a fuck about the, nobody,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: nobody gives a fuck about these kids. Not you, not you,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: not you, not you. I don't give a fuck what
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: these people say. You continuously vote for politicians that do not,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: You do not advocate for children's safety. They continue to
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: allow guns to be in anyone's hands. And where does
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: that lead? Right into school shootings. It's a constant problem
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: that is only in the United States of America. They
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: don't have proper food to eat. They can't fucking read
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: because you don't want to pay teachers and education is
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: illegal in this country. They don't have opportunities for their
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: future for work. You don't encourage them to be intelligent. Like,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: you don't give a fuck about these kids. Nothing about
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: the way that our society as American society is set
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: up is pro-children. So don't come barking at me that
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want kids. I'm the problem. Y'all are the
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: motherfucking problem. If you want people to have children, make
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: a society where it is safe for mothers, where it
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: is reasonable for parents. where it makes sense for their
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: childhood to be safe, for them to eat good, for
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: them to grow up healthy, for them to get an education,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: know how to read, start studying something that I don't
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: know is viable for their future. Make the economy as
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: such that they can get married young and have kids
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: young and buy homes and build their families. None of
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: the shit you're doing lines up with that. None. None
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: of it. And guess what? It's all possible. Other countries
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: do this.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: If we could get back to that or to that.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: It'll never happen because it'll never happen because the countries
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: where those type of things are in place, one are
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: not the size of the United States of America, but two,
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: we have states. So every state is going to want
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: their own thing.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: So to get those things done at a federal level
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: was damn near impossible because half of our politicians are
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: cucks and the other half are pedophiles. And so, you know,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: they're useless. But the biggest thing is white supremacy. The
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: reason why we do not have healthcare, which I haven't even,
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: I didn't even, this is my first time even mentioning healthcare.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Like you, you, you stay at the doctor. So, you know,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: you've got a kid, you're going to be at the
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: motherfucking doctor. Them, them things is germ medicine. bots okay
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: they are they are germ incubators we will not have
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: that because racist white people do not want black and
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: brown people to have access to those things so we
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: will not have it.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: No oh lord well i don't know we'll see what happens.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Keep you posted what other great things are happening in
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: the world.
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't call this one great, but did you see
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: the Living Single vs. Girlfriends attractiveness conversation that's been going on?
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I did, yeah.
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: First of all.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I don't think ugly people should have opinions about attractiveness,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: first of all.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: There's that. There's that. So the hosts from the Views
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: from the 7 podcast sparked the conversation. Essentially, they made
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: statements saying, you know, no one were calling the ladies
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: from Living Single attractive. ugly or unattractive but no one
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: was saying like oh you can't wait to watch them
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: they you know they they beautiful they're this they're that
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: and compared them to the cast of girlfriends and it
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: blew my mind first of all why are we even
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: talking the like black women beauty and you judging it
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: should not even be a topic on black a black
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: man's podcast what are we what are we doing.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Listen I as a rule I really try not to
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: crawl into the minds of ugly people and why they
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: think the way that they do. I can't relate, you know?
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: So I don't know where in their brain they landed
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: on this as a discussion. Obviously living single is in
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: the zeitgeist right now because of the, you know, all
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: of the remakes that are happening. I'm assuming that that's
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: why they started talking about it.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's, yeah, it's trending, but to say that.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I mean, again, I can't, I don't know
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: why ugly people do what they do. Like, as an
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: objectively non-ugly, I don't know why they do what they do. Like,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: I don't, I am not everyone's cup of tea, and
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I don't ever plan to be, and I don't give
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: a fuck about that at all. And as an almost
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: 40-year-old woman, like, I've had my days in the sun. However, like,
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: not an ugly person. So I, you know, I just
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: cannot understand why or how ugly people move around the world.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I was just having this conversation with someone the other
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: day about, because whenever I run into people in public
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and they talk to me about the podcast or they
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: talk to me about my career, they're like, just, you know, whatever.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: They always bring up my social media. And it's, and
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: especially for women, they're like, although men have said this
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: as well, They always go, you know, how do you
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: deal with the comments? And I'm like, you know what?
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I just don't read them like these people. I don't
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: care about these people. They would never say to me
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: in person, you know, the same thing I've said my
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: whole career. And then they're always like, but if you
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: click on their picture, I'm like, oh, yeah, they're ugly.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: Every time.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: They're so ugly. I'm like, yeah, that's why they do that.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I've never, ever seen. a hateful derogatory comment to me
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: on social media from an attractive person. It just doesn't,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: attractive people are busy being hot. They're not really hot.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: They're busy, like, having good sexy sex with other sexy people.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: They're not like, you know what I'm going to do
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: with my day to day? Go troll someone who is
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: also beautiful. It doesn't do those things. It's not what
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: we do. So the whole conversation is disgusting. It's also
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: very stupid because these stories are not about people and
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: their looks. Like these are stories that like, So what
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: are you even saying? Are you saying that only people
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: who you consider to be attractive should be cast in
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: shows about life?
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. That's what it gives.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Who gives a fuck what you think is attractive?
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: It's just a bad take, period. It's just a really
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: bad take. Both of the shows were incredibly... um successful
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: like obviously we understand that like uh you don't get
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: friends without living single right so like the the purpose
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: like the purpose of the conversation was just kind of
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: like useless like to begin with but like realistically though
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: like i'm not trying to be like this but like
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: a lot of times like most ugly people don't get
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: on tv unless they're like incredibly like funny or like athletic?
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Well, no, I don't think that that's true. Like I
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: think that when it's, when it's comes to fictional casting,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: really any casting, but mostly fictional casting, you have to
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: cast people that look like the characters that they're being
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: cast for. Like if you have a story that, a movie,
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: for example, and there's an old person in it, you
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: can't cast a 22 year old because they're hot. You
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: need an old woman to play the, to play the
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: old woman part. And like, was she cast because she's
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: a beautiful old woman? No, she's cast because she's an
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: old woman and she's an excellent actress. Like there are
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: different roles require different looking people.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: This isn't Meryl Streep though.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: This is an old glamor Hollywood where everyone is supposed
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: to look like Marlon Brando and Marilyn Monroe. Like, these
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: are real, these are fleshed out stories. This is why
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: casting directors exist and the best movies have incredible casting. And,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: and also for that matter, when movies are cast in the,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: in the way where it's like, Oh, you need this,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: you need this bombshell. They often don't do well because
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: it's not authentic to the story that's being told. So
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: I actually disagree with that from a fictional standpoint, from
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: a nonfiction standpoint, like When people would say, oh, Joy,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: you're only on television covering sports because you're beautiful, which
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: has been said about me many times, I always say,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: thank you. That's an incredible compliment. And they get very confused.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, listen, if I am only doing this job,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: which requires an extensive amount of knowledge about sports, sports
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: fans are some of the most educated on that topic
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: that exists, requires technical skills that... You have to learn,
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: like you have to know how to do television, what
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: a break is, how to read a prompter, you know,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: what a tease is. Like you have to know all
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: of these things and be able to manage that while
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: doing a live two and a half or three hour show.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: If none of that matters, those skills do not matter.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: And I've only been cast this because I am beautiful.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: I'm the most beautiful woman that's ever walked the fucking earth.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: Like they just threw out all of those other requirements
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: because they were like, we need that face on television. No,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: that's it's not how it works, obviously. But like, if
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: that's what you think, like, thanks for the compliment. OK,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: because there are supermodels that exist. There are women that
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: are truly like angels walking this earth and they didn't
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: pick them for that job. So, you know, I just
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I think that the whole conversation is ugly people's business.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: And I just try to stay out of ugly people's business,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: you know. group it's not my.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: People's it's not your people.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: There are a lot of them right but unfortunately i
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: can't relate so i don't want to delve too too
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: deeply in it and and also when it comes to
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: black men talking badly about black women you deserve all
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: the cooking that you you.
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: Just send it triggers the hell out of me i hate.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: It i will say though i do feel like there
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: is a general sense of attraction within the living single
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: cast and understanding that like you cast certain like looks
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: for certain roles, but I still feel like there's a,
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: there's a, there's a, uh, centralization of a certain amount
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: of attraction.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: If that makes sense.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Yes. They're all attractive people. Yes. They're all attractive people.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Can't say the same for the commenters. Can't say, cannot
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: say the same. Can't, can't do it. Unfortunately, you got
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: to watch, you know, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: But if you share your opinion, you are opening the
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: door for rebuttals. And you should make sure that you
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: have washed your face before you delve into.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: I'm not doing it.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: That have been on television for years. Tough, tough, tough
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: way to go. Don't recommend. All right.
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: I have another question for you.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: Another thought of mine. So I recently got a therapist
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: referral from one of my girlfriends. I feel like I've
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: gotten to the point where I need to talk to
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: someone that isn't my immediate family or friend, or I'm
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: going to check myself.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm a big advocate of therapy. Congratulations. I
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: love this for you.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: I haven't called her yet, but I got a number.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: She's on my to-do list.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I'll take it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: But then as I, you know, was diving into, okay,
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: it's time. I'm going to talk to a therapist. Like,
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: what do I want to tell her? You know, all
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: the things. I was doing some research. And it got
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: me thinking, now that, like, this is more of, like,
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: a talked about thing. It's more common for people to
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: go to therapy. Do you feel, as an avid goer,
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: that it makes your threshold for, like, dealing with people
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: very thin? Like, are you more apt to just immediately
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: cut someone off real quick? because of everything that you're
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: working out in therapy or is that not a thing?
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: No, I think, I think I recognize patterns and I
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: recognize behavior more quickly. Um, red flags are brighter because
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: of therapy. I, but I've also been in therapy. Like
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: my first conversation with a therapist was, was when I
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: was 16 years old and that was court ordered therapy.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: Hmm.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: And then I wasn't in therapy for a while, probably
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: until like early twenties. And I have been on and
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: off in therapy since then. And I've steadily been in therapy,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: like let's say either once a week or every two weeks,
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: pretty consistently for the past eight years.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: That's a lot. That's a lot.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: That's a lot of sessions.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: A lot of sessions, a lot of money. a lot
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: of work went into this personality. And so I'm kind
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: of more of an, I would say like an advanced
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: therapist person, you know, like therapy doesn't work in one session.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: It doesn't, it may not work ever. Like it's, you know,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: who knows? I'm still a fucking lunatic, but you know, it's,
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: it's also a management thing as well. You know, you
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: don't always have something going on in your life that
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: is super intense to work through. So, you know, in
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: those times I'll go like maybe once a month or
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: I'll take a little, you know, couple months break until
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, ready to dive back in again
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: on something else. So I think it doesn't make me
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: cut people off quicker, but it does make me think
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: about things and behaviors that people have and how they
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: affect me more seriously. Like recently with all the Cornell
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: seven stuff, 57, let's call it. That's been going on.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I've been very, triggered. And I've noticed about myself that
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I definitely have PTSD from dealing with, you know, a
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: variety of different types of men over the years. And we,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: you know, we were talking about consent and I, I
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: really had to think about do I do, do some
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: of the men that I have dealt with over the
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: years really understand consent. Like when I say no, or
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable, or I don't want to have sex
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: right now, do they respect that? Or do they treat
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: it like, well, I can still convince her. And I
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: was seeing a lot of the conversation online about that
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: topic and how men do not consider that to be
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: Most men do not consider that to be unreasonable. They
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: do not consider that to be persuasive or pressure. Like,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: it's just an understood thing. Like, oh, I'm in a
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: relationship and she doesn't want to have sex, but I'm
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: going to try again in like five minutes. And then eventually, like,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: I'll just get her to have sex. And it's not rape.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: It's not assault. In some cases, it's not abuse. But
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: it's something, you know, we've all had sex. We've all
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: had sex and we didn't want to have sex. And
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: it's not really enjoyable. And we've all performed, right? We've
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: all faked an orgasm, right? Like, I mean, good for
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: you if you haven't, girl. Most of us have. Most
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: women have had to give it up at one point
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: where they didn't necessarily want to, right? To keep a
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: man happy or, you know, it's your... it's your man.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: So he wants to have sex.
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: It's a lollipop. So just a little, I mean, yeah,
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: just a few.
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is like, if it's not an enthusiastic, yes,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: it really should be a no, but we are so
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: conditioned as women to accept that, that we just accept
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: that this man wants to have sex and he's, he's my,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: you know, boyfriend or he's my husband's or, you know,
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: he's my lover. So I have an obligation to do that.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: And she was like, if you change the word from, um,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: if you change the word to the, if you think
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: about it as being disrespectful to your wishes, does that
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: change how you look at how they're treating you when
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: you say no? And I really had to think about
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: that because there's been times where I'm like, I really
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: don't want to have sex. Like I want to spend
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: time with you, but I don't want to have sex
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: right now for whatever reason. I'm not in the mood.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I don't feel well. I, you know, I'm tired. Like
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: I'm just not feeling sexy today. Like maybe in the
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: morning I will, but like not right now, but it
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: doesn't keep me from wanting to like spend time with you.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: But I know if I spend time with you, you're
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: going to want to have sex. So I'd rather just
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: avoid this situation altogether, which is fucking crazy. I'm 39
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: years old. Like I should not be dealing with something
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: like that, you know? But so like therapy will make
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: me think about, am I, am I adjusting like to
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: other people's behavior more than respecting my own wishes?
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: See, I'm ready to go.
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I think, I think it's good to just, sometimes you
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: need to talk to somebody who doesn't have any agenda
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: in your life, you know, who isn't like, well, I
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: don't want to tell her this because then she might
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: do this and I don't want that to come back
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: on me or, I don't want to push her in
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: this direction because then that's going to affect this. This
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: is a person who is well-versed in whatever it is
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: you're going to talk to them about. It's not going
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: to be the first time that they've heard it. And
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: we'll just help you to sort your thoughts and emotions
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: into different pots. Because sometimes you will be talking about
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: something that you keep saying that you're thinking it and
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: you're really feeling it. And those are two different things.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: See?
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't have known that.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: Highlight something real quick?
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Um, I was talking to, uh, I was at a,
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: you know, Sunday dinner with the family and we were,
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: we were talking about therapy. Um, and I don't know why, um,
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: I thought about, like, years ago, like, in the 90s, right?
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: Remember it used to be, like, a joke on, like,
• 33:13
  Speaker 3: a lot of, like, black TV shows, movies, or whatever. They, like,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: whenever they said that somebody was in therapy, it was like,
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: they were like crazy.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: Like that was like a, like a, like a re occurring,
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: like texture of joke and a lot of like, you know,
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: you know, predominantly black TV shows. And I find it
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: to be interesting in 2026, how far we've come, especially, um,
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: with black people when it comes to, um, therapy, um,
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: because we're just not used to being heard.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: So like, it's really interesting.
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: And this is coming from somebody that desires therapy, but
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: has not taken the step forward to.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: Like getting to it.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: I feel like what I've learned from just interacting with
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: other people that are consistently in therapy is that it's a,
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: it's a, it's a, it's work on both sides and
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: that like as much as you can like go to
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: therapy and like give, you have to be willing to
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: like receive as well.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: So like the idea of.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: Therapy becoming more of a accepted experience in the black
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: community is, is a very beautiful thing because there's a
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: lot of stuff that we're affected by that we have
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: no idea affects us.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: And, like, it's so, like, imperative to us, like, growing
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: as a people and, you know, maturing our, you know,
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: our folks into, you know, human beings that operate at
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: a more efficient level rather than be, like, you know, emotionally, physically,
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: you know, so on and so forth all down the
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: line and stuff like that.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: So I just kind of wanted to throw that out there.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: I will say, the therapist I was referred to with
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: is a Black therapist, which was big for me.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my therapist is a Black woman. And that was
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: very important to me because I've had every different version
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: of therapists. And I think that part of the reason
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: why this situation has lasted as long as it has
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: for me is because there's so many things I don't
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: have to explain to her. Like there's so many nuances
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: that I don't have to get into because they... come
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: from where I come from. Like they already understand it.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: And that's important, I think, for therapy, because you don't
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: want to also have to explain yourself, like the nuances
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: of culture and being a woman, you know, of being
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: a millennial, like, like, you know, and however you feel
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: comfortable with is who you feel comfortable with, to be clear.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: But for me, I found those spaces to be at
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: a deficit when I was talking to someone who didn't
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: look like me. So, but to Speck's point, It absolutely
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: is a new thing. And it's hard for people. By
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: the way, therapy is not easy. It is exhausting sometimes.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: Usually when I'm done with therapy, I don't want to
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: talk to anybody for a couple hours. You've rushled up
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: a bunch of things. You're getting into icky stuff. And
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: there's a processing period. And it's having a tough conversation.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: So it's not just like venting to specks point. You
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: have to be able to hear about yourself as well. Like,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: what are you doing in this situation? You know, you
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: continuously put yourself in a, in these situations. Why are
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: you doing that? What's your habits that are causing you
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: to do that? When I first got into therapy in
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: this particular run, I wanted to work on boundaries because
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I kept finding myself in toxic relationships. And I was like,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: there are always going to be toxic people in the world.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: You can't cure the world of toxicity. But for whatever reason,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: they keep finding me. And I would like to remove
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: that magnet. I need to get it out. Whatever it
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: is I'm doing to continuously allow the same type of
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: person to find me, I need to get rid of that.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: Because it's not a victim-blaming thing, but it's like your
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: habits do allow certain things, good and bad, to be
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: around you. So yeah, I mean, it's not an easy
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: thing to do. I don't judge people for being afraid
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: to try it. where I get frustrating, frustrated is if
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: you are avoiding therapy at the cost of everyone else
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: in your life, like be fucking for real. You're not
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: an adult. Like that's a childish thing to do, especially
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: if you have the resources to go.
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: I'm excited. I'm a little nervous. Cause I don't even
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: know how you begin. Like how do you even start
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: the conversation?
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: She's just going to ask you about yourself or they're,
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a man or woman, but
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: they're just going to ask you about, about yourself.
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: And, It'll just organically kind of blow out.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't jump off the cliff day one unless
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: you need to.
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: I am ready to jump off the cliff on a
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: few things.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: Well, you'll get to it by, you know, 25 minutes in.
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, especially one of them being, which was another topic, coincidentally,
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: that I saw online. I love being alone right now.
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: But like a little too much to where when I
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: have to gear up to do things or maybe I
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: want to do something. Like I am an avid... I
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: will make the plans. I will kiki with you about
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: how excited we are in two hours or four, girl.
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: I know this.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: I know this because you text me like, I don't
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: want to do this. Why did I plan this?
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: Like, I don't want to go. How can I get
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: out of it? I don't want to go. And then
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: I feel guilty. Like, I have to show up for them.
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: They show up for me. Like, and it's a battle.
• 38:55
  Speaker 4: I love being with them.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: I'm the wrong person to ask about this. I... spend
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: so much time alone because one I don't have a
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: husband I don't have pets I don't have kids my
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: plants are taken care of so I spend an enormous
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: amount of time by myself like way too much time
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: by myself and I realize that I enjoy being by
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: myself so much that it is making it difficult to
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: do things.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah I got to get back to. And it's even
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: harder because I have like one best friend in L.A.
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: No one else lives here. So like I don't have
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: like a crew like girls night where there's like four
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: of us consistently the same, you know, core four friends. Like,
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: I don't have that in LA. So it's me and
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: maybe one person or it's me and my man or
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: me and my kid or like, and that's it. Like,
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, I think, I think there's, well, this is
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: a thing that's happening in a bigger societal way as well.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I think COVID played a big role in this. Like
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: we very abruptly vaccinated. had to spend either time by
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: ourselves or time like with our partner and kids away
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: from everyone else for some amount of time, unless you
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: were in Texas or Florida. And so we, we, we
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: sort of adjusted our lifestyles for that. A lot of
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: people are working from home or have the ability to
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: hybrid work from home. So that's playing a role, social
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: media and being on your phone and feeling entertained. You know,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: just burning time, doom scrolling. That's playing a role. Everything
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: is fucking expensive. Every time you leave your house, you're
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: spending money.
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: At least $ 100.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. I'm going to get a coffee and it's $ 8.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not cheap, but like $ 8 for a coffee?
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: So it's like, oh, do I really need the snack?
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: Because do I want to spend $ 15 at the freaking.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Everything is expensive. So parking is $ 25. Like, it's crazy. So,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: you know, that is playing a role. It's like, okay,
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: do I even want to go anywhere because everything is
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: so expensive? People don't have fun anymore. Like there's, there's,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: you know, we talk about this a lot in LA,
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: like where are the vibes? Like I, I'm happy to
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: go out. I like a little kiki. Okay. But I
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: don't want to go see the same people in the
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: same place with the same music. There's, you know, nobody's dancing.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: Everyone is just there to take a photo at the
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: step and repeat. Like, I'm cool, actually. I could just
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: be home. Like, I don't really need another step and repeat.
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm going to start doing, though? I
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: think I want to have, like, Sundays be a thing
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: at my house. Like, I feel like a lot of people.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: See, I can't do Sundays because I've got to watch football.
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: Football can be on.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't see. I don't like watching football
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: around other people. I don't.
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: What about after football season?
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, after football season, I think it's a great idea.
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: But I like the way that I watch football. I
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: either need to be alone or I need to be
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: with somebody that understands that I'm watching football. Like, I
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: can't be bothered. I need to watch Red Zone and
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: have games up in my four grid, like, Sunday's not
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: a good day for me. You should still do it. Yeah,
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do it.
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: Because I remember being young and it's like there was
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: like designated houses or homes in the family or close friends.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: It was like a ritual, like a tradition, like soul food.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you had like Sunday dinner.
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: But no, I don't know anyone who's doing that.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, we are, we are not, we are
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: the least connected that we've ever been with the most
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: amount of ways to stay connected. And it's, I think
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: it's technology is playing a massive role in that. Like you,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: even if you are alone, like you can get that
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: dopamine hit from doom scrolling and yeah, it's, I mean,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: television is amazing. You can watch movies at home. Like
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: you don't even have to go to the theater. There's
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: just so many things that keep us away from each other.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: And people aren't drinking.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: And I'm a big drinker.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: There's a huge emphasis right now, rightfully so. I'm not
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: saying this is a negative, but there's a lot of
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: emphasis on health and longevity. Alcohol is the enemy, you know.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: even if you talk about going to drink, people are like,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: I don't like, I don't, I don't, I don't drink.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well I do. I mean, I don't
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: drink a lot.
• 43:52
  Speaker 4: There's ways around it. You could still be out socializing.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But people don't want to do that. And they're like,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I personally, I love if you don't drink, like do
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: whatever you want to do. It makes no difference to me,
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: but I am not going to be out with someone
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: who doesn't drink. Who's judgy about it.
• 44:08
  Speaker 4: Like, Yeah, because there's people who.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Why are you here?
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't know how to be social if they're
• 44:13
  Speaker 4: not drinking. So when they're not drinking, they're just boring.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Or they're irritated that people are drinking because they don't drink.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: So I'll see these things and it's just like, is
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: there anywhere to go hang where people aren't drinking? Yeah,
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: lots of places. There's lots of places where people don't drink. Everywhere. Also,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: you can go places where people are drinking and not drink. Like,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not getting blackout drunk on a Wednesday night. I'm
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: having a glass of wine. But there's like, there's that
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: element too. So I don't know. And also because people
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: aren't drinking, there's not that like social lubrication of, you know,
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: dancing and like relaxing and like everyone's on their phones
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: and everyone is, even if you go out, like everyone's
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: just scrolling on their phones. It's not a good time.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I've gotten very, very- I think we all are,
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: but like, where do you find genuine interaction with humans?
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: And people are fucking weirdos.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: We're just going to go and come to my house.
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: So I can have my cake and eat it too.
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: I can be home.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, and have people. Yeah. That's smart. Yeah. I need
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: to entertain too, but I, I don't know.
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: That's also exhausting. There's like, there's a burnout from that,
• 45:31
  Speaker 4: but we got to find the balance. Do you remember
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: going to somebody's house and there's just like always a
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: random kid sleeping in a room? Some kid laying on.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: The bed somewhere. My home growing up was, there was always,
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: first of all, my dad was weird. So he always
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: had some weird people over, like complete randos. He was
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: like way into like, what's the word I'm looking for? Yeah.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: like Ponzi scheme things. Like he would always be involved
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: with somebody's random mail in something or like, just who
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: are these people? We used to go to these meetings
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: for like prepaid. It was prepaid legal. Do you, do
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: you remember any of this?
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: No.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: Somebody out there remembers prepaid legal, but we would be
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: at these meetings with these random people. And it was like,
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: it was like a cult. I always had a cult
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: leader in my home. always just such random people bad
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: energy yeah there's just always some people in my house
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: so we don't want that humans are awful honestly it's
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: a miracle i want to be around anybody we're.
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: Gonna get more social that's we're gonna do that i'm
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: gonna make it a point the funny thing is is
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: i have a lot of friends you do And you're
• 46:58
  Speaker 4: always having to do something. You always have something you
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: could do.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I'm very good at showing up for people
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: and supporting people because I want, you know, I want
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: people to support me. So I think it's, you know,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: fair that I show up for people, even if I'm
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: tired or I don't necessarily want to, but like just
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: humans in general.
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: You know, I found a book club the other day.
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: You go to this cafe.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: This, this is the book club. There is no universal book.
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: You just go and sit and read in quiet amongst
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: other people reading in quiet. I think that's kind of cute.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I think it's kind of cute. As a person who
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: doesn't really... It's weird because my career requires me to
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: talk to people, new people all the time. And I
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: can snap into that mode very easily, but I'm an
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: introvert extrovert. So I can be out and just have
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: fun you know, people everywhere and, you know, be on camera,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: be interacting with people. But when I get home, I
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: need like crypt silence and darkness to recharge. So sometimes
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: like I do, I'll go to a bar and read
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: a book. Like I'll go to a bar. Huh?
• 48:14
  Speaker 4: You'll read at a bar.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Like I'll get, I'll go get a drink and
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: read at the bar.
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: This is why you need that little Kindle.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I know I do need, I don't, I, I'm trying
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: to hold onto the real books.
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: You can make a color where it looks like a page.
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: Like the lighting.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Kindle needs a sponsor, Haley. Haley is pushing this Kindle
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: on me. Like peer pressuring me hard to get a Kindle.
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: It's just going to pop up on your doorstep one day.
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: I'll know who it's from.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: I will know who it's from. All right. What do
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: we have for would you rather today? Okay.
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: Would you rather... Be remembered for changing millions of lives
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: or for making an extraordinary difference in the lives of
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: the people closest to you. I think I'm going to,
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: I think I know what you're going to say. Let's
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: see if I get it right.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Wait, what's the question one more time? Okay.
• 49:07
  Speaker 4: So would you rather be remembered for changing millions of
• 49:11
  Speaker 4: lives or significantly making an extraordinary difference in the people
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: closest to you?
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Well, it doesn't specify. whether it's positive or negative change.
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: Well, an extraordinary. Yeah, I guess that's true.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: So are we going to say that you positively affected?
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: We're going to assume it's positive effects.
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: We're going to assume it's positive.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: Effects on people closest to you.
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll go with positive.
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I will go with people closest to me. Really?
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: I got it wrong. I thought she was going to
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: say millions of lives.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Cause you know, I've thought about this a lot
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: recently and I, I think that affecting a lot of
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: people is something that a lot of aspirational people believe
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: that they have the capacity to do. And a lot
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: of people want to be remembered. Like we have this
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: legacy conversation with kids a lot and like, Oh, like
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: what's your legacy? And, you know, what are you leaving behind?
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: What do you want to be remembered for? None of
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: us are going to be remembered. I'm sorry to pop
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: your fucking bubble, but nobody gives a fuck about you.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: And that's why you should be living your life a
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: very specific way. People get so obsessed with like, oh,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: I want to leave my mark or I want to
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: make sure that, you know, my bloodline carries on. Your
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: kids do not know who your great, great grandparents were.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: You're not a king. Okay. You're not Einstein. You're not.
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: Maybe they want to be.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're fucking not. You're not Martin Luther King Jr.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: The way to be remembered for thousands of years is
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: to be so impactful either positively or negatively on society
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: that you're like Genghis Khan. You have affected the earth
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: in such a negative way That there's your name like
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: carries on for generations. You're not that fucking important. And
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: people obsess over this idea of like being remembered. For what?
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: Like for what? Think about it. Okay, so you had
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: a kid and then your kid's kid had a kid
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: and they had a kid and a kid. They're not
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: going to remember Grandpa Fred, okay? They don't fucking know you.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: They don't know anything about you. It's true.
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: You didn't do anything spectacular. You didn't do anything spectacular
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: for your family. Like, you know how your family remembers you?
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: You made a billion dollars and left it to them.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: Then they might be like, you know why we're wealthy?
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: Because your great-great-grandmother was a boss. Maybe it's both. I
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: would like the idea of positively affecting millions of people.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: But the reality is no one is going to remember you.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: And it's important to grasp that because it feels morbid
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: and it feels sad. But I talked about this in
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: the early days of Too Personal because we talked about death.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: And why, you know, I don't have such a fear
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: of death. I don't want to die. But I don't
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: have such a fear of death because everyone is going
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: to die. And we don't know when and we don't
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: know how. Unless you become sick. And then you pretty
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: much know how and you might have an idea of when.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: But for the most part, we're all living our lives
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: not knowing when. When it's our last day. But the
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: reality is. People obsess over like. How am I going
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: to be remembered? Or how is this like. Where's my
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: plaque going to go? And you know. People need to
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: be able to say my name.
• 52:52
  Speaker 4: Nobody is going to say it.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: They're not. Occasionally someone's going to remember you. And be
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: sad for a couple minutes. And then they're going to
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: move on. There might be one person. that truly mourns
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: you deeply every single day of their life. And this
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: is sad and sounds awful, but it's like, when you
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: think about that, you should, that should make you enjoy
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: life deeper and more. It should make you appreciate every
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: day you have. It should make you appreciate the experiences
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: that you have. It should make you not waste your
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: time because if the whole point is being remembered, like what?
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: It's why, that's why with religious people, I always find
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: it so fascinating. And like, even maybe now more than ever,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: The point of so many religions is the afterlife. I'm like,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: because it needed to be because people's lives were shitty
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: and they needed to give them some hope. So the
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: hope is your next life will be awesome if you
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: do this. Or when you die, you're going to go
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: somewhere amazing if you do this. So then they'd be
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: willing to do horrible things to other humans with the
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: promise of their next life being great. But my life
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: is great now.
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: So why would we need Sundays?
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: Enjoy.
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: We need great moments for your great current life.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to enjoy the life I have now.
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Nobody knows what happens when you're gone. You don't know.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: Nobody knows heaven and hell exists. Nobody knows that they
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: can say they will. You believe that. Okay. That's your belief.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: That's not a fact. It's not a scientific fact. Okay.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: So you can live your life that way and, Have
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: at it. But you don't know that that's the case.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: What I do know is I exist right now in
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: this form, in this timeline. That is what I do know.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: So I'm not going to strive to like do something
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: that affects millions of people when I know I can
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: directly affect the people that are in my orbit.
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: This is true. I do love making people feel good
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: and I love fixing people's problems. But millions is a lot.
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: It's a lot.
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I just think also, you know, the
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: people who have done that, that's such a 1% of 1%
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: of 1%, especially positively. I mean, think about people that
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: have like statues for doing like Lincoln, you know, Martin
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: Luther King Jr. These people were killed also.
• 55:27
  Speaker 4: It's usually the case, unfortunately.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I could be
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: talked into the other option. What would you do? You
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: would do everyone else?
• 55:41
  Speaker 4: I want to go with the millions of people. That's
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: like my first thought. But that is a lot. Like,
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: there'd be no time to pour into yourself.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: Or the people close to you.
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: To effectively do that.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Specs, what are you doing?
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: Probably the few couple people close to me. Because whenever
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: I think a million, I think of like something that's
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: like generic. Like, I don't know, like the spoon. Whoever
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: created the spoon affected a bunch of people. What?
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: It's a tool to eat.
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: It's a light bulb.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying, though. The spoon was so important.
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: What do you mean?
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: The spoon is very important.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it is. And I would not say that it
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: affected millions.
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: But I also don't know who created the spoon.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: It's definitely billions on billions. And I couldn't eat my
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: favorite food without it. I mean, you can.
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: Find an alternative. This is what I mean by this, though.
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: This is what I mean by this.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: Though, right?
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: The spoon is not generic.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: No, this is what I mean by that, though, right?
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: But we don't remember who invented the spoon.
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: We don't.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: Who invented the spoon?
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: I have no idea.
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: See?
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: No clue.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's like, it got so big that
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: like realistically, like the person that created it, like it
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: doesn't matter because the contribution of, of the, of the thing, um,
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: it was like, like it lacks.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: Um, not intention. It lacks it. Yeah. It doesn't have
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: the personal connection.
• 57:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: Like it lacks that. It lacks that thing.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: So like a fucking terrible human being could have made
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: the spoon.
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: Or spoon.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, you know what I'm saying?
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: I appreciate that fucker, because I like me some soup.
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: Like, all these people like that, like, we, like, look
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: at these people, like, they've contributed so much to, like,
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: that's cool and all, but, like, realistically, like, for me,
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: I would desire somebody doing something, like, that has, like, personal, like,
• 57:57
  Speaker 3: heart behind it, you know what I'm saying? Like, my grandfather,
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: who came from you know, Memphis, Tennessee, who lived on
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: a frigging plantation and moved out to Los Angeles and
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: was willing to take any job to like build this,
• 58:10
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: This like.
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: Legacy of his, if you want to say legacy, but
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: like really is just like, you know what I'm saying?
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: Like he came and became like this pipeline for like
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: his family that wanted to come to move out to
• 58:23
  Speaker 3: Los Angeles for, you know, like, like for me, like
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: the ideology of that, it feels so much more personal.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: So I feel like when I think of that, like,
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: do I want to affect millions of people or would
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: I rather want to affect like a very core percentage
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: of people? Like, I just desire to have like, um,
• 58:44
  Speaker 3: love and intention behind my, my doings. So that's why
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: I go with, uh, the, the, the few people.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: Makes sense. I get that.
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: I agree.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: Well, this was fun. Thanks for hanging guys. Make sure
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: you hit subscribe. Follow us on social to personal show
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: and we will catch you next time.