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Intuitive Spending · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your fearless host, personal finance expert and the visionary behind the revolutionary Cash Confident community.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Get ready to embark on an electrifying journey where we redefine the rules of money and empower women to harness the immense power to craft a life they truly, truly desire.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This podcast is the ultimate resource, meticulously crafted, for women who are ready to unleash their financial prowess and embrace a life of abundant success.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: We leave no stone unturned as we delve into the depths of money management, mindset mastery and the undeniable influence of emotions on your financial decisions.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Prepare to rise above the societal limitations and break free from the chains that have held you back, as we equip you with the tools and knowledge to make bold, confident choices with your cash.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We believe that true financial power begins with knowledge, and that is exactly what we deliver.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So buckle up, my fierce and ambitious friends, as we embark on this transformative journey to becoming Cash Confident together.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Hello everyone, today we are going to be working on spending and how to intuitively know when your spending makes sense or when it doesn't make sense.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Basically, how to tap into the wisdom of your body to learn how to have a different kind of relationship with money.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: So that's what we're going to be talking about today, and I am jazzed up about this.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I'm jazzed up about it, all right.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: So without further ado, let's talk about spending.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: So spending is a really fundamental part of our relationship with money.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: It is the first thing that we learn about money right before you learned how to make money or you've even heard about investing, you learned how to spend money right.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: Little kids know about spending way before they learn about the rest of money.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: And when it comes to spending, this is a place where we can really create some beautiful feelings of gratitude and openness, and these are the sorts of emotional states that attract good fortune, that attract luck, that attract more wealth.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: And we can also really close up and get into fear and scarcity and worry and stress when it comes to our spending.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: And those states repel good fortune, they repel luck right.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: And then we have to sit with them and we have to be remorseful.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you've heard about buyers remorse.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: What I want you to understand is, generally, your body's going to give you some signals when you're spending your money right.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: And before we get into fun spending, I want to talk about shifting some of these things, because sometimes we get a little ungrateful around our day-to-day spending, especially, listen, in the last year, inflation has really gone up.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: People are seeing their dollars not going as far.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: We've been seeing prices really increase, and every time I'm on the internet, I'm watching the news, I'm watching people complain about spending money on things that are so integral to their existence, and so I want to just talk about shifting that, because those are things that really create a lot of scarcity and they're not helpful.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: So things like look, if you're, you know we want to pay our bills with gratitude.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Oh, I have the money to pay for this electricity.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I value this electricity and I'm basically I'm grateful to have electricity.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: You know, looking at your bills and coming at them with a sense of like I have the money to pay for this and I value this service enough to pay for this.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: I pay for my internet and I get to work from home and I feel so good about that.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I don't have to spend money on gas.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I don't have to be places at times Like I get to do this because of this service.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: So I want you to really just that's a great place to get started with what we're talking about today, and this is really.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: It's about shifting.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: If there's a discomfort, that's there right now.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: So it's very easy to look at the money and be like my money's not going as far and really get into that closed response, that fear, that scarcity I'm not going to have enough, and even feel a little powerless to the inflation.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I haven't gotten a raise, but the prices on everything has gone up and all of those vibes are so repulsive to money.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Like your money gets grossed out by this and so we miss a lot of the opportunities for good fortune when we're in these places.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: So practicing a moment of havingness and a moment of gratitude when you're paying your bills is a great place to start to drop into your body and shift the way that you are feeling as you're doing some spending Right.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: This is really important and we want to start to practice this even in our day to day spending.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: If you can spend your money joyfully, happily and from a feeling of calm, safety, that's a demonstration that you're going to be open.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: These are the states that are very attractive to wealth.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: If you've ever been interested in manifesting money, what I'm talking about these are very practical tips for manifesting money.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: What I want you to understand is that scarcity is a very closed energy.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: It's tight, it's restrictive, it's constricted and it's repel-ing.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: It's repulsive to money.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: It's not just repulsive to the energy of money.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: You will gross out other humans with scarcity.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Let me give you a little metaphor.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Just imagine that your money, you are the energy of money, all of your humanness.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Just imagine I invite you to my party and I send out the invitations, you send back the RSVP and then I text you and I say hey, girl, I got your RSVP.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I cannot wait to see you.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I'm so delighted that you're able to come.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I have you down on the list, beautiful, you get a little ooh, a little excitement coming your way.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: You show up to the party and I open the door and I'm like, oh, my goodness, you're here.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're here.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: You brought guacamole.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Let me here, let me take that, let me put it on the table.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I love guacamole.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you brought this guacamole.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Everybody's going to love it.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Then I take you throughout my party.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I introduce you to my friends.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I say, oh, money, you should get to know Samantha.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: She also loves money and she's going to be a great contact for you, right, beautiful, we have a great night.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: We spend some time together.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I take the time to enjoy you.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: While you're there, you take the time to enjoy me.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: We get to hang out.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: When it's time to go, I say, oh, I'm so glad that you came.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you for showing up.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: Thank you for your guac.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I washed your dish.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Take it with you.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, you're going to another party.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, I hope you have so much fun while you're there.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: It's going to be a great party.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: I know so, and she's a tremendous host.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Beautiful, I'll call you again later.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Thanks for coming.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Smooches, here's your doggy bag.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Here's your clean dish.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Great, this is what it would feel like to be with a person to be received in the state of abundance.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I want you to just close your eyes for a second and just settle in that what it would just feel like to be invited to this party, to be received by this party.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: The next time I invite you to my party, I do want to come.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: You probably would want to come right Now.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: I want you to understand what it might feel like to be received in scarcity.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I send out the invitations to you and before you even have a chance to answer, I text you and I say, hey, did you get my invitation?
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Are you able to come?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: And so you answer me and you're like yeah, I'm planning on coming.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I'm just, I just noticed the RSVP.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: And so you're feeling a little pressure, a little pressure on the invite.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: And then it's the day of the party and I text, are you still coming?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: And you're like, yeah, still coming, but it's just a little again, a little pressure, a little much.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: And then it's time for the party and you're on your way and I'm like, oh, you're late, are you still coming?
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: And you're like dude, chill, okay, calm down.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: And then you get to the party and I open the door and while I'm talking to somebody else, and I see that you brought guac, and before I even say hello to you, I say, oh, you brought guacamole.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is just a little guacamole.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, it'll be gone in an instant, but I guess this is the fall you had.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I'll just put it down.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: And I say, oh, did you bring a serving spoon for your guac?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: And you sit and you're like, awkward, you just showed up with your guac.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: And then I don't spend time with you, I'm not introducing you to people, I'm not appreciating you, I'm not celebrating your presence and then, when it's time to go, I seem so disappointed that you're going, so disappointed, and I'm like, oh, but you would just got here and I diminished our time together.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't even get to see you, you didn't even spend any time with me, ugh.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: And then I'm looking at your guac, I hand you your dirty dish to take with you.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: I don't give you a goody bag, I don't give you a kiss, and I pout when you leave.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: I cling to you.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: I literally put my foot in the door, trying to get you to stay a little longer and make it seem it's like it's wrong that you're leaving.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I'm like you're going to so-and-so's party down the street.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Ugh, it's gonna be a terrible time.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: This party's better.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: My foot is in the door and then you leave, and then I'm literally pouting.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I'm sad about it.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: This is what it would feel like to be received at a party by a person who's in scarcity and so, as you can feel, one of those energies is so clear and nice.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: You want to come to the first party, and when I'm going to invite you back to a second party, you want to come to the second party.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: But when I invite you to the second party and I was clingy and weird and sending too many text messages, and I was desperately clinging the idea that you would come sending you all these text messages, but then I didn't even spend any time with you when you were there and then when it was time for you to go as man, right, that's what it would feel like to be in relationship with money that way, and so part of the way that we can start to heal our relationship with money is through intuitive spending and joyful spending, happy spending, and when I say intuitive, it's to help make the decision is do I really want this?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Do I really need this?
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Does this really feel like a good use of money?
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: It helps you to be in tune with yourself around your money.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: All right, back to my first point.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: One of the first ways that we can start to shift out of this second party is starting to practice gratitude.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: But we're paying for the things that we really need.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Being grateful that we have money for groceries, being grateful that we have money for electricity, for internet, for the things that the services that we pay for, the things that we value enough to pay for them.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: So shifting into joy and gratitude around those things and just remembering that we really value these things, that we're paying for them on purpose, it starts to help to build that relationship with ourselves and it starts to help us get comfortable with spending money, all right.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: So what I want you to pay attention to is, when we spend money, sometimes that's going to feel really good.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: We're going to spend the money and it's going to feel like something we bought on purpose, something that we enjoyed, something that we valued, that we're not sorry about.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: When the experience is done or the product gets to our house, it's something that feels good, all right.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: So just imagine that being like an indication of a let's just call it a green emotion.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Right, like a green, yellow, red, right, like a traffic light.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: So when you're spending your money and it feels like a green emotion, right, it's a go, it's a go, you can spend your money and it feels good.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: There are some things that when we spend money on, it feels like a hard stop, it feels like a bad idea, all right.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And so I'm going to give you some the ways that I notice from listening to clients talk, some experiences that may be the red emotions, all right.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: So when our spending feels really rushed right.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: When there's a sale and it's ending tomorrow and we have to make a snap decision about it, generally that scarcity will push us to spend money, like that scarcity of time or that urgency will get us to spend money, but it doesn't actually feel good.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: So when our spending is rushed, those are places that people tend to spend money that don't doesn't really feel good.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: That's not to say it's a wrong decision, it's up to you.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: But when there's pressure around it, when it feels like something that feels maybe there's a little bit of internal conflict around spending the money, where there's just a lot of tightness around it, generally that's going to be more of a red emotion.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: When the spending is compulsive and that means that you feel a little out of control with it, it feels a little dangerous right.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Most of the time that people that I've worked with that are spending a lot of money in a way that they feel a little out of control.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: They're really trying to buy something to soothe an emotion, right, but then they're spending money on something that doesn't actually soothe that emotion in the long term.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: So when the item shows up, when they spend the money they end up, they'll end up feeling really remorseful after the purchase.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: So think about some purchases that you felt bad about once you got the purchase and just imagine what did it feel like when I was buying it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: So start to feel into these things.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: When we're spending money to impress others, generally that's going to feel bad.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: If I am buying, let's say, a new, expensive purse because I'm going out with a friend and I think that she's going to be impressed by this, or she has a purse that feels that similar right, that purse isn't for me, that purse is for somebody else's idea of me.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: That's not going to feel like a really great way to spend money Money to keep up with or to be like somebody else.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Again, those are places that money's not really super interested in funding.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: It's not going to feel real good Spending a lot of money when we feel afraid about it, when we're like, does spending this money like maybe it feels irresponsible or maybe it feels like it's wrong?
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: Right, spending money when we feel tight.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it weren't even remorseful about the spending that we didn't even do yet right, and so these are going to be indicators of these like more red emotions and we want to start to spend the money when we're in these green states, and if we feel like it's red but it really should be a green, then those are places that it's a good shift.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: So let's just say you haven't bought yourself new clothes in quite some time and it's time.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: Your confidence is lacking because you haven't spent the money on yourself and it's you need new clothes, your change sizes, whatever else.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: But you feel guilty.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: You feel guilty when you spend the money.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: And now generally, that's going to be a red emotion.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say, all right, if you're feeling bad, don't spend the money.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: But sometimes we have to shift through these things.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: So you might need to ask yourself what about this makes me feel bad?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like spending money on myself is wrong and bad.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: You're like all right, then we can get into the beliefs around this.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Is this true?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Is it true that all of your money should go to your children, your spouse, your house, everything that's indicative of a low self-worth right?
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: And so we can follow that guilt down and then we can clear it up.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: We can really be with it for a second and then say does this really?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Does this emotion, is this emotion serving me?
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Does this still make sense?
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: And so your spending when you can really feel what it feels like your body's going to give you a lot of wisdom.
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: It's where I'm going with this.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: When your spending feels really open, feels really good, feels like it's pleasurable and enjoyable and it feels like it's worth it and it feels valuable, that's a great, that's going to be a great indicator that it's that spending that money is going to put you on a path to more abundance.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: And then, when we're spending money on things like sales that we don't really care for, things that we didn't really want or need, but we feel rush or pressure, right, when we're spending money on compulsion, when we're spending money to impress other people or to be like other people, when we're afraid or tight or already regretting our purchases even as we're making it, those are good indications that it's probably not a great way to spend that money.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: And then there's going to be the category of things that I really do want and I really do need and I feel scarcity around them, but they're abundance and so I need to shift that for myself.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: But your feelings are also going to play into this.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: And when we spend money in these red emotions, it repels the wealth, just like it did in the in that second example that I gave you right, what it felt like to be received in abundance, what it felt to be like received in scarcity.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Now just imagine like what it when you're at that party and you're being sent out the door and one person is like oh my goodness, blessings to you, so good that you came, I'm so happy you were here, you're going to have so much fun at your next party If that feels really good.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: But when somebody's tight and they have their foot in the door and they're afraid that you're leaving, that doesn't feel so good.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: So just keep this stuff in mind as you're spending your money, because how we spend money, it impacts so much.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: It impacts how money responds to us.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And also, when we have a lot of subconscious pain around spending money, it will jam up our earnings because subconsciously we're like we just want enough.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: We need to just have enough to survive.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Because if we spend on ourselves, or we have enough money to spend on luxuries, or we have enough money to spend on something frivolous, we feel real bad, we feel irresponsible, we feel ashamed, we feel sad, remorseful.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Your subconscious brain is not trying to torture you.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: When you have outflows, that feel really bad, it's going to jam up the inflows.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: If I was, this is terrible metaphor.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: But if I go and I eat super spicy chicken wings and then tomorrow I poop fire, I'm going to think about having those chicken wings again the next time I'm there, even if I enjoyed them.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: I'm like I don't know.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Last time I shit fire man, I wasn't into that, and so I'm going to be very careful about the money that comes in If, when I let that money go out, it really bothers me.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: So these are a few ways for you just to start to pay attention, start to drop into your body, tap into the wisdom that your body has, your intuition about your spending money, and then you can feel it.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: So abundance, wealth is going to be attracted to when you use money and you're in those green states.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Love, joy, enjoyment, pleasure, happiness in relationship to money and money is going to be repelled by those more red emotions right, pressure, compulsion, fear, tightness, constriction, restriction, remorse.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Or when you're doing things just to impress other people or just to be like other people, but that's not the truth about what you want those are going to be more red emotions that repel money from you.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: So feel into it, feel into how you spend money and then practice some gratitude and having this as you're paying your bills and as your as you're spending the money on the things that you want to be spending your money on.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Really take a second to just enjoy it and see if you could feel into one of those green emotions and start to shift your relationship with money at that spending level.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: All right, I hope you got a lot out of this.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: I love you, I appreciate you and I will talk to you next week.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: It was my pleasure and joy to talk with you today.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 17:59
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• 18:06
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• 18:11
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• 18:11
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