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10. Uncovering the Healing Power of Family Constellations with Robina Meehan · Constellations and all that...

• 0:04
  Tracy: Kia ora and welcome to Constellations and All That.
• 0:07
  Tracy: I'm your host Tracy Cartwright and together we will be exploring the world of family constellations with facilitators and clients from around the world, looking at different perspectives and experiences in the work, having a cup of tea and just chatting with some friends around their experiences in constellations.
• 0:28
  Tracy: We'd love for you to join us.
• 0:30
  Tracy: I hope that you enjoy this series as much as I have loved making it.
• 0:38
  Tracy: Beautiful, kia ora everyone and welcome to Constellations and all that.
• 0:42
  Tracy: Today I have the pleasure of talking with Rubina Meehan.
• 0:47
  Tracy: Meehan.
• 0:48
  Tracy: Meehan, sorry.
• 0:50
  Tracy: We just had a little conversation around the origins of that, potentially Irish with Bill.
• 0:54
  Robina: It's actually, um, spurred me to think I will continue to actually learn about it so that I can answer that question.
• 1:00
  Robina: Ah,
• 1:04
  Tracy: beautiful.
• 1:04
  Tracy: Well, welcome Robina.
• 1:06
  Tracy: You and I met a few weeks ago in Sydney at the Australasian Intensive.
• 1:11
  Tracy: And I know that I was really drawn to you and I kept my eyes, I keep following you around and I noticed your name, Robina, which is also, uh, One of my ancestors names and there was just something, something about you that I felt really drawn to.
• 1:26
  Tracy: So I was excited to extend the invitation to come here on this podcast.
• 1:32
  Robina: That's so interesting.
• 1:33
  Robina: Thank you so much for having me.
• 1:34
  Robina: It's a real treat for me.
• 1:35
  Tracy: Okay.
• 1:36
  Tracy: You're welcome.
• 1:37
  Tracy: And in this podcast, I'm talking to facilitators and also people who aren't facilitators, but have experienced the work as you've just shared with me earlier.
• 1:46
  Tracy: You're not a facilitator.
• 1:48
  Tracy: Correct.
• 1:49
  Tracy: But you're passionate about constellations?
• 1:52
  Robina: Very.
• 1:54
  Robina: Like nearly weirdly passionate about it, I would say, because I've kind of had experiences of it over the last probably 12 years in little bits and pieces without really knowing that that's what I'm experiencing, but knowing that it's shifting suddenly because there's so much to it, but it just feels like magic.
• 2:15
  Robina: And now that I'm aware of, and especially having been immersed in it for like a full week or however, five days, whatever it was, just feels extraordinarily, um, like it's part of me.
• 2:27
  Robina: And I've actually done a little bit more since we were together as well.
• 2:30
  Robina: I had a, had a one on one with someone the other day.
• 2:33
  Tracy: Fantastic.
• 2:35
  Tracy: Fantastic.
• 2:36
  Tracy: So how did you hear about the intensive or how did you hear about constellations in its own, in its form?
• 2:43
  Robina: So the intensive, my sister was going and she, uh, happened to come visit me a couple of weeks before she was to go there and mentioned it.
• 2:52
  Robina: And I said, what, what is it?
• 2:53
  Robina: And she said, she was going down with someone who was facilitating, actually.
• 2:57
  Robina: And then I said, I think I should go to that.
• 2:59
  Robina: And I can, because I'll still be here because I live quite remotely in Western Queensland.
• 3:03
  Robina: But I was in New South Wales at that point.
• 3:04
  Robina: And she said, Well, just get in touch with them and see.
• 3:07
  Robina: So I got in touch with Jonine and she said, yeah, yeah, there's still possibility for you to come.
• 3:11
  Robina: So I made that happen.
• 3:12
  Robina: And on the way there, I said to my sister, I feel like it's going to be something big.
• 3:17
  Robina: She said, yeah, something feels like it's rumbling for me too.
• 3:19
  Robina: And it was, it was a very remarkable time.
• 3:23
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 3:24
  Tracy: The whole thing is, is a constellation in itself, isn't it?
• 3:27
  Tracy: From the time you did say, yes, you're going to all the things that appear and the people come in and I know I, myself, I've experienced that, you know, some people might trigger you a little bit or others bring in an energy that is very unfamiliar.
• 3:45
  Tracy: There is so much going on in it, so it's really important to be mindful and, and, uh, a lot of self care in that.
• 3:52
  Robina: And it's nearly like you've accepted an invitation to something without really knowing what it was for, how it felt to me, but also with deep trust and.
• 4:09
  Robina: You know, taking responsibility for all of me in doing, in doing that.
• 4:13
  Robina: But like, like you say that thing about, like, uh, you watched me just from the get go, even when I arrived there, there was one particular person that I, I kept watching too, and I, I just loved him like with deep plutonic human love.
• 4:29
  Robina: And I said that to him, like even just being able to just meet someone and say, I just love you.
• 4:34
  Robina: Like, I just, and not in her.
• 4:37
  Robina: On mushrooms way, you know, just a deeply, you know, like it's really, I don't know, just the essence of people can such more deeply be felt or experienced somehow.
• 4:51
  Robina: Yeah,
• 4:52
  Tracy: it's amazing, isn't it?
• 4:55
  Tracy: So as a non facilitator, But a participant, how would you describe Constellations to someone who hadn't experienced it?
• 5:03
  Tracy: And when I say, you know, I'll ask that question first, and then I'll ask the next one.
• 5:07
  Tracy: So
• 5:09
  Robina: how would I describe what Constellations is?
• 5:11
  Tracy: Yeah, well, from your experience, how would you, if you were telling your friend over a cuppa, what would you say?
• 5:17
  Tracy: What
• 5:18
  Robina: I would say is, is weird as shit.
• 5:23
  Robina: But I say that with the deepest, um, uh, reverence, and, Respect in my heart for what it is because it's big, solid, true work and it's deeply necessary and beneficial.
• 5:38
  Robina: You know, sometimes when you feel like, I don't know, I just know it's not mine.
• 5:42
  Robina: I don't know.
• 5:43
  Robina: I'm just like this pattern keeps repeating and I can't seem to shift it.
• 5:47
  Robina: Or like it might not even be something quite in your consciousness yet, but you can feel like there's Constellations I feel like has the ability to just sort of sort and You, what's yours is remains yours and what's not you can shift.
• 6:06
  Tracy: How did you find the little exercises?
• 6:08
  Tracy: We did quite a few of those over there.
• 6:11
  Robina: The little one, initially, it actually took me a little while to sink into it because I, uh, I was a bit like, oh, okay.
• 6:20
  Robina: And then I felt a bit responsible to my partner.
• 6:22
  Robina: If I was doing something with somebody else, like, am I going to get it right for them?
• 6:25
  Robina: And then I, it took me no time at all.
• 6:28
  Robina: Once I sort of surrendered to the process of it all being there, it's just inevitable and all of those little things.
• 6:38
  Robina: And there was so much in one space.
• 6:41
  Robina: during that, like it's taken till now to start feeling the effects of what's actually gone down.
• 6:46
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 6:47
  Tracy: And it can, will ripple on for a long time.
• 6:50
  Robina: Enormously somatic.
• 6:52
  Robina: That is another thing I would describe.
• 6:53
  Robina: Like it gives you an opportunity to, um, disconnect from your intellect.
• 7:00
  Robina: You don't have to make sense of it.
• 7:01
  Robina: You don't have to know why you don't even have to know any of the things you don't have to have a memory necessarily of anything, but you can still process it and your body, your cellular self.
• 7:14
  Robina: We'll take care of it.
• 7:16
  Tracy: It's that felt experience, isn't it?
• 7:20
  Tracy: Yeah, I did a piece of work, man, five, six years ago in Bali, and over the time, probably the last year I haven't, over the last five years, I've noticed when something shifted in that particular piece, like I could really feel that it was connected to that piece of work.
• 7:39
  Tracy: And I was like,
• 7:40
  Robina: Oh,
• 7:40
  Tracy: there's another layer of that that's just dropped in or I'm feeling like it's just cleared away or, and other constellations that I've done, other experiences that I've had, I felt it straight away.
• 7:53
  Tracy: And there's been a big shift.
• 7:54
  Tracy: And then, and then I haven't so much noticed the bigger ripple out effect.
• 8:00
  Tracy: So it's never the same, like whenever I have a constellation, there are different ways in which it can be integrated within you, right?
• 8:09
  Robina: Yeah.
• 8:10
  Tracy: You can continue to ripple out or, um, Yeah.
• 8:13
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 8:14
  Tracy: Or have that sort of ripple effect.
• 8:16
  Tracy: Expansion there.
• 8:16
  Tracy: And then on the field,
• 8:19
  Robina: I had a really interesting experience being there with my sister and experiencing each other in constellations and some of the bigger group constellations as well.
• 8:28
  Robina: And just the experience of that, knowing her in life and then seeing her expression in the field when she was representing was also quite an incredible experience that had an impact on me.
• 8:45
  Robina: Even though I was an observer?
• 8:47
  Tracy: Yep.
• 8:48
  Robina: Yeah.
• 8:49
  Tracy: Beautiful.
• 8:50
  Tracy: When someone uses the term having a constellation, and the first time you heard that, what did, what did that bring up for you?
• 8:58
  Tracy: Because I'm asking this question because a friend of mine has said, if you're not in the know, What's a constellation.
• 9:05
  Robina: Yeah.
• 9:07
  Robina: I've done some work in epigenetics, and I'd learned quite a bit about that.
• 9:11
  Robina: And I spent a weekend doing a workshop with Mark Wallen, and he's also the book It Didn't Start With You.
• 9:19
  Robina: And I was so intrigued by his work, and I had definitely experienced that within myself and with a lot of that I'd worked with that thing about, I don't know, it just doesn't feel like I can't pinpoint.
• 9:30
  Robina: Right.
• 9:31
  Robina: What the thing is or where it started and some of the stories he tells in that book about people's experiences in their own life that seem to have no bearing on anything they've ever been through was so intriguing to me.
• 9:44
  Robina: So I'd done some work with him standing on foot, like different people standing in people's shoes, effectively, you know.
• 9:52
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 9:52
  Robina: I sort of thought that you said, what would I say a constellation is
• 9:57
  Tracy: like when you first heard people using the terminology, a constellation,
• 10:02
  Robina: I didn't even really know what it was, but I suppose I was able to observe it happening and it lured me.
• 10:10
  Robina: So, uh, because it's just like work, like in the inner work, I've been in personal development for about 15 years now intentionally.
• 10:18
  Robina: knowingly, you know, and I feel like it's like putting your hand up for some deep work.
• 10:25
  Robina: If you're going to say yes to a constellation.
• 10:27
  Robina: Yeah.
• 10:27
  Robina: I wouldn't have a clue how to constellate someone, if that's even a word, but also once I'm in it with, in the experience of a constellation with somebody, with it being facilitated, Like I found myself keeping on saying it and saying, who would watch TV when you could sit and watch this all day?
• 10:47
  Robina: Like I was so invested and I was like, I could preempt what was happening.
• 10:52
  Robina: Oh, it's because of this or it's because of that.
• 10:54
  Robina: And it would it be annoying to sit beside me, but you know, of course I can be there in silence and hold the space and all of the things, but, but that's what it feels like to me.
• 11:02
  Robina: It's like a really intuitive untangling and sorting through kind of like a decluttering of a situation.
• 11:09
  Robina: Yeah.
• 11:10
  Robina: Like even of somebody's mind or, yeah, it's kind of ordering or untangling a knotted mess.
• 11:18
  Tracy: Yeah, I think and you can see when you're when you're witnessing when you're sitting on the outside and someone else is sitting in the hot seat or the client seat or whatever you want to call it, they're having an experience of their own family system, which is what we call a constellation, you get to witness.
• 11:34
  Tracy: Lots of things shifting in their field, but also you can relate it to your own.
• 11:37
  Tracy: Quite often there's, there's things that you go, Oh yeah, boom, light bulb moment.
• 11:42
  Robina: Yes.
• 11:43
  Robina: I did a constellation the other day in a way that I had not seen done before or had experienced myself because it was on zoom to represent.
• 11:51
  Robina: We had three, what do you say representatives?
• 11:56
  Robina: And they were pillows and we did it blind.
• 12:01
  Robina: And it was extraordinary that all of the things could come into play.
• 12:06
  Robina: Like that, and to do it blind and then partway through we revealed what the representatives were.
• 12:13
  Tracy: Yeah, it's amazing what you can use, right?
• 12:17
  Tracy: And you think of the cultures that use like feathers and twigs and things like that to read what's happening in the environment or whatever's going on.
• 12:26
  Tracy: It's the same thing.
• 12:27
  Tracy: It's like,
• 12:28
  Robina: I wonder if it's like sandpit when you know, play therapy with kids.
• 12:32
  Robina: Yeah.
• 12:33
  Robina: A little bit.
• 12:33
  Robina: Do you know anything about that?
• 12:35
  Robina: I
• 12:35
  Tracy: think there's, I think there's a little bit of essence of that in there.
• 12:39
  Tracy: Sand tray work.
• 12:40
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 12:41
  Tracy: I often refer to it as, you know, the people of the fire, our people of the fire, because we all go back to the original people of the fire and how they would have been so in tune with what was there.
• 12:55
  Robina: around
• 12:55
  Tracy: them and the environment within the community, within their tribe.
• 13:00
  Tracy: For me, this work has come through, yes, in the 80s with Bert Hellinger.
• 13:04
  Tracy: However, it really has much deeper, deeper roots than that.
• 13:09
  Robina: When I lived in central Australia for quite a lot of years and part of my time in central Australia was nursing and I met a lady while I was nursing who was a ground dweller.
• 13:20
  Robina: So have you heard of that before?
• 13:22
  Tracy: No.
• 13:23
  Robina: The role in the community was to sit, to dwell on the ground, be on the ground.
• 13:29
  Robina: And she was.
• 13:31
  Robina: With deep respect.
• 13:32
  Robina: I say, maybe like a watchdog, she could feel the change in the vibration of the earth.
• 13:37
  Robina: She could hear the sounds she could sense.
• 13:40
  Robina: And that was her work.
• 13:42
  Robina: And to the point that her body, she, she couldn't stand.
• 13:46
  Robina: She couldn't wait there at all.
• 13:47
  Robina: The shape of her.
• 13:49
  Robina: So she sat cross legged and her bottom was really big.
• 13:51
  Robina: So when she was on the bed, her bottom was out behind her and we needed to have the bed lean back.
• 13:57
  Robina: Her shape had changed because she'd been a ground dweller.
• 14:00
  Robina: And that was her work.
• 14:01
  Robina: That was what they entrusted her to was to keep them safe.
• 14:05
  Robina: Like that.
• 14:06
  Robina: And I feel like it's similar.
• 14:07
  Robina: It's very energetic and frequency driven.
• 14:12
  Tracy: Oh, Gwendolyn.
• 14:13
  Tracy: Oh, you've got me stuck on that one now.
• 14:15
  Tracy: Just let me, I
• 14:15
  Robina: wish I could share that.
• 14:17
  Robina: Um, like, as I still have a picture of it and I, like I want her English was, um, limited and of course my language for hers was very limited.
• 14:27
  Robina: So it's for us to communicate was not necessarily easy, but I was able to care for her.
• 14:31
  Robina: And then the questions I was able to ask of the people and her family coming and going, I was asking a lot of questions of them because I was so intrigued.
• 14:38
  Tracy: Hmm.
• 14:38
  Robina: Yeah.
• 14:40
  Tracy: And it really brings us back to, I mean, in society, in original cultures, there would have been different people that had their different roles, right?
• 14:50
  Robina: And in
• 14:51
  Tracy: constellations, we get to feel a little bit of all of that.
• 14:55
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 14:55
  Tracy: So you could stand in a place that of the ground dweller, you could maybe put it down a marker point to represent that person.
• 15:06
  Tracy: And have a wee taste of what that might feel like.
• 15:10
  Tracy: I did a piece of work with someone the other day.
• 15:13
  Tracy: We were just sitting having a coffee and we used the salt and pepper shakers and the sugar sachets.
• 15:20
  Tracy: And you could see the light bulbs going on and it just shifted a whole lot of things for him there and then.
• 15:27
  Tracy: And in this cafe there were lots of people around but we felt like we were in a little bubble of smoke A sphere of energy and nobody, you know, it was almost like people were walking past us and not even noticing us.
• 15:39
  Tracy: So yeah, I think we could, I was
• 15:42
  Robina: raised in such a way that the concept of energy, like even the languaging of that energy and frequency and things were not welcome.
• 15:49
  Robina: I suppose it was like, it was, don't talk about that.
• 15:53
  Robina: It's woo woo.
• 15:54
  Robina: It's not safe.
• 15:56
  Robina: I don't want to be scared, you know, but I felt very like it was the essence of me, but to curate it in such a way that I didn't offend any of the people who were my caregivers for definite or any, you know, do it the right way so that I didn't, you know, like it was like a very much a curated sort of a thing.
• 16:18
  Robina: But now that I don't have hesitation around any of that, I just feel like it's just being actually alive and tuning in.
• 16:27
  Robina: Like just choosing to be available and then it presents itself.
• 16:32
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 16:33
  Tracy: And get out of this, right?
• 16:34
  Tracy: Get out of your mind, the, the head, the, um, the having to know and having to control and, and allowing yourself to feel it.
• 16:46
  Tracy: Beautiful.
• 16:47
  Tracy: And what you took home in the experience that you had.
• 16:50
  Tracy: What would you say has been the biggest, without having to go into your story or any of sharing into the deep depths of it, what would you say was your biggest takeaway from the event?
• 17:01
  Robina: Uh, a very, very deep, internally referenced inner knowing.
• 17:07
  Robina: a contented knowing and actually in the final constellation role I played was contented knowing and I, and I was standing on a chair and my arms were up and it was, it was a very, um, sure and certain sense without any ego or authority or superiority, just a very true and deep contented knowing and that has I don't even know really how to talk about that.
• 17:46
  Robina: But it's in my body.
• 17:48
  Tracy: So I know what you were sharing.
• 17:50
  Tracy: I know that experience of of bringing that home in that whole.
• 17:55
  Tracy: I got the experience representing God last year in.
• 17:59
  Tracy: at an event in Sydney.
• 18:01
  Tracy: And I'm not religious at all.
• 18:05
  Tracy: In fact, far from it.
• 18:07
  Tracy: But the opportunity to experience that, once my ego dropped down, like, it was just, and it was a very quick process, like, because I was, first of all, I was like, how am I going to do this?
• 18:18
  Tracy: And then I stepped in, and had to go through the process of just like letting go of any thoughts or feelings.
• 18:25
  Tracy: So, becoming an empty vessel for it.
• 18:28
  Tracy: Once that was clear, the experience, the expansion, knowing that I was part of everything, and that I felt very neutral to, to what, what was a negative energy in the field, and what was a positive energy in the field.
• 18:43
  Tracy: I felt completely neutral and hot but whole at the same time.
• 18:48
  Tracy: It was such a wonderful experience.
• 18:49
  Tracy: I was so grateful for that because of things that came later for me that I was about to experience and not knowing they were coming.
• 18:58
  Tracy: And I could really tap in to that, having been that representative and just into my God self, into the part of me that has, you know, that is that part so beautiful.
• 19:09
  Robina: Even listening to you speak and having felt that experience for me of being there as that contented knowing.
• 19:15
  Robina: And the thing, even you say about being an empty vessel, the way that I was raised, all of that would be ringing alarm bells, but I think it's particularly that constellation that I did represent that.
• 19:28
  Robina: Was so fascinating because the facilitator of that constellation ended up being huge, but the facilitator had triggered me.
• 19:36
  Robina: Like you mentioned earlier, sometimes that's the thing that happens.
• 19:39
  Robina: I've been quite triggered by her initially when I met her.
• 19:42
  Robina: And then I went and told her we partnered for something.
• 19:45
  Robina: And I let her know that's how I was feeling.
• 19:47
  Robina: She's like, Oh, why did you feel the need to tell me?
• 19:49
  Robina: And I said, I just feel like in this environment, like brilliant, be up front and share it.
• 19:55
  Robina: And then just let's see what comes.
• 19:57
  Robina: And then to see all of that at work, it was nearly like for me, because I was raised very strictly and held very tightly in Christianity.
• 20:09
  Robina: And it was, it was like a complete release of the fear.
• 20:14
  Robina: Like, stop with the fear.
• 20:15
  Robina: It's inhibiting you.
• 20:18
  Robina: And like the fear of the dark and the light and just all of it when, and I think that had been part of what my triggering or activation around the facilitator had been was around that sort of stuff.
• 20:31
  Robina: And it was a really clean, clear knowing that it's not about that.
• 20:38
  Robina: It's actually not like drop all of that and just be in this bit.
• 20:44
  Robina: Yeah.
• 20:45
  Robina: Very sort of safe and reassuring and content.
• 20:51
  Tracy: Absolutely.
• 20:53
  Tracy: And that coming into a space like this and knowing that, that there will be people that push buttons and when they push a button, we'll have a look at that.
• 21:03
  Tracy: What's your button?
• 21:05
  Robina: Yeah, let it be an invitation.
• 21:06
  Tracy: I
• 21:08
  Robina: actually just said to somebody else yesterday, um, it, it reminds me of Dr.
• 21:12
  Robina: Kelly Brogan.
• 21:13
  Robina: I love her work.
• 21:14
  Robina: She's in the States.
• 21:15
  Robina: I don't know if you've heard of it, but she says enter through the upset.
• 21:19
  Robina: That's always
• 21:19
  Tracy: a
• 21:20
  Robina: good spot, you know,
• 21:21
  Tracy: Yeah, absolutely.
• 21:23
  Tracy: And so are there any other exercises or the experiences that you've had that you feel like, because I know you've got a couple of children and you have a very busy life, is there anything that you feel like you've brought back that you can integrate with the children?
• 21:39
  Tracy: Like any experiences or?
• 21:42
  Robina: I think I definitely feel like just it's been an embodiment of the more we work on our own.
• 21:50
  Robina: You know, self, the more it just naturally plays out in our experiences with our children.
• 21:55
  Robina: And we're without assuming ourselves to impose our own work on them.
• 22:01
  Robina: It's naturally unfolding anyway.
• 22:04
  Robina: And I see that just in the, um, in our daily round in the simplicity of it, without the force or the push and the shove and the resistance, that means the resistance falls away.
• 22:15
  Robina: I would say communication opens up, has opened up much more easily.
• 22:20
  Robina: And there's no.
• 22:21
  Robina: They can't feel a, um, it's so tricky to find words to talk about it sometimes.
• 22:26
  Robina: Isn't it like, there's no, they don't feel any pressure of expectation from me.
• 22:32
  Robina: Now it feels to me like that, not because it takes the consciousness away from it.
• 22:39
  Robina: So that's why it's hard to talk about because it's not like I would have said, I have an expectation of them that a little bit beforehand.
• 22:47
  Robina: But now it's like, that's fallen away.
• 22:49
  Robina: So that, and they can feel that energy because the children already have it going on.
• 22:53
  Robina: It's like, we're the ones that have to unlearn the intellect of what's been conditioned into us.
• 22:57
  Robina: They already know if we just.
• 23:00
  Robina: Observe and be, and be in the experience of their already knowing.
• 23:04
  Robina: I really enjoy asking them for their perception of things often, and hang a lot of weight on it.
• 23:10
  Robina: Very often.
• 23:11
  Robina: Not, not in a way that would pressure them as though they're the ones made the decision or whatever the thing is, but just, huh?
• 23:18
  Robina: Like as the, the more and more I get to know my own intuition, I've really recognized that they already know.
• 23:25
  Tracy: They have the clarity, they often have the clarity without all of the um, pressure and the preconceived things that society expects of us, right?
• 23:35
  Robina: Yeah.
• 23:36
  Tracy: If they haven't, yeah, they can be little sages in their own right.
• 23:40
  Robina: And if we just leave space for them to have it without putting expectation on their days, like rise now, bus now, school now, leave room for them to be in their own experience of being alive, it's all there already.
• 23:57
  Robina: Yeah.
• 23:57
  Robina: Like don't rob them of that, you know, and that's one thing that I've been really enjoying and just, um, practicing presence has always been something that I give effort towards and it feels like it's becoming much more natural without my needing to effort.
• 24:11
  Robina: So
• 24:13
  Tracy: that's nice.
• 24:15
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 24:17
  Tracy: I think my parenting would have been very different, particularly with my eldest two, if I had experienced constellations a lot earlier.
• 24:24
  Tracy: I mean, everything's perfect and all in perfect alignment.
• 24:27
  Tracy: But in reflection, I know that, well, a, I would've been, um, doing my own work, right.
• 24:33
  Tracy: And I, back then I wasn't, when my girls were little, and through this work, I've had to do a lot of self-forgiveness
• 24:43
  Robina: Yeah.
• 24:44
  Tracy: And putting myself back in order for different things.
• 24:47
  Robina: Yeah.
• 24:47
  Robina: You know,
• 24:47
  Tracy: like in the order of where I belong in the, in the system of the family, which has really allowed for space for healing and movement.
• 24:57
  Tracy: Yeah, with my girls, with my first husband and my family system now.
• 25:05
  Tracy: It's beautiful.
• 25:06
  Robina: It's definitely remarkable.
• 25:09
  Tracy: I know that sometimes I've experienced the work and come home to a shift in the family.
• 25:17
  Tracy: And I think part of it is that I'm received differently because I've moved something and then that allows them to move and be in a different position in my whole system and there's an unconsciousness of, sometimes it can be a little bit sticky, there's a bit of resistance because things are used to being in such a certain way.
• 25:40
  Tracy: If we can do it without resistance and like you say just, you know, like just being in it and allowing things to to be in their place.
• 25:52
  Robina: Yeah.
• 25:52
  Robina: Yeah.
• 25:53
  Robina: Yeah.
• 25:54
  Robina: It's kind of like having to build the machine in a way.
• 25:56
  Robina: It's like, you don't have to, there's no push or another thing that I did while we're in Sydney that made a huge difference was stepping into more mature part of my femininity.
• 26:12
  Robina: Were you
• 26:13
  Tracy: there?
• 26:14
  Robina: What did I step into?
• 26:16
  Robina: Do you remember?
• 26:17
  Tracy: I think that's a really good description of it.
• 26:20
  Tracy: It's a really good description of it.
• 26:22
  Tracy: Because for me not to be able to be part of that and myself as well, the facilitator offered us the experience.
• 26:28
  Tracy: Who else wants to experience this?
• 26:30
  Tracy: And my hand was like, yeah.
• 26:33
  Tracy: One of the
• 26:33
  Robina: things I was astounded about in that room, but it was also reassuring in another way for me was that There were women of all ages and I would say I'm 44 and I feel like I was probably one of the youngest there.
• 26:48
  Robina: And she asked about, um, was your experience like your rite of passage into Menzies a positive experience?
• 26:57
  Robina: And it was not, it was not something anyone could feel into.
• 27:01
  Robina: And it's, you know, we're all born.
• 27:04
  Robina: We all go through puberty.
• 27:06
  Robina: We all die.
• 27:08
  Robina: They're all really natural things.
• 27:10
  Robina: That may humans, humans, yet it's so shamed for so many generations globally, that there's a lot of representation in that space and to really, to see that and to be choosing something different for me, and I don't have daughters of my own, but even in what I'm sharing with my sons, and also I've got quite an extended family on one of six children.
• 27:34
  Robina: So we've got a lot of nieces and nephews, but what I can share in amongst that.
• 27:40
  Robina: Just by becoming comfortable with my own self in my own body is so beautiful and so, uh, like offers such a comfort and such a reassurance and it's like.
• 27:51
  Robina: If I was fortunate to have an aunt who, who could gift me some of the things that I needed, that I couldn't access anywhere else when I, you know, that needed to feel like support as I was growing through that time, it's big work.
• 28:06
  Robina: And I used to be of the belief that the older you get, the wiser you get, and that the, all the old girls, all the old people, the old women, they're wise old ladies, but it's been.
• 28:17
  Robina: You know, in the last decade or so of the realizing that no, no, no, no, so many of the old girls in old girls bodies, but they're little girls in there and they, they don't know what to do either.
• 28:29
  Robina: And they haven't gathered wisdom because they've been so, um, they've been so stunted and stalled because of something, you know,
• 28:38
  Tracy: frozen in time.
• 28:39
  Robina: Yes.
• 28:40
  Robina: And.
• 28:41
  Robina: The more I've matured into the essence of me, the more I've been able to see that and feel it.
• 28:47
  Robina: And so not belittle my own awareness in the presence of others older than me, just because of that.
• 28:54
  Robina: Like I've really realized that that's a very real phenomena.
• 28:58
  Robina: And To stunt myself now would be to also be doing the exact same thing that I'm saying, but what we need is the evolution of all of us into more of who we actually are.
• 29:09
  Robina: And that's what I mean about the sorting, because then if you can, if you can shift that gate or that fence, it's blocking that stunted, then you can open up for the free flow of whatever it is.
• 29:20
  Robina: And I have felt that.
• 29:22
  Robina: Since coming home as well, I've definitely felt the maturing, what feels like out of a juvenile state of womanhood into steadfast, like, I feel like standing up and standing on my feet, you know, like a real steadfast, strong knowing, and it's a combination of that thing, that contented knowing that I mentioned before.
• 29:40
  Robina: And in my, in my womanhood, it's yeah.
• 29:44
  Robina: Very solid.
• 29:46
  Tracy: And in that process you will have been creating pathways for the ancestors to find peace in that.
• 29:53
  Tracy: The women who, who were stifled, right?
• 29:56
  Tracy: And future nieces and nephews, grandchildren.
• 30:00
  Tracy: Um, future descendants to be able to find pathways forward as well.
• 30:05
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 30:06
  Tracy: Absolutely.
• 30:06
  Tracy: Another
• 30:06
  Robina: very fascinating thing that was an experience for both my sister and I.
• 30:11
  Robina: In our family, we have, um, on my maternal side, there's a lot of, uh, Indian heritage.
• 30:17
  Robina: We're very aware of, and has been spoken about a lot in our family.
• 30:21
  Robina: On my dad's side, there's a lot of German heritage.
• 30:24
  Robina: Heritage that we don't know much about at all.
• 30:26
  Robina: And it hasn't really been spoken about much.
• 30:28
  Robina: Our name suggests that, and also where, when the descendants came to Australia from Germany, it was so interesting to be surrounded by multiple, there were four in particular, German women.
• 30:41
  Robina: In Sydney for that weekend.
• 30:42
  Robina: And three of them are three generations of German women, not of the same family, but generationally three German women working together and feeling the strength of that and being in the experience of it.
• 30:54
  Robina: And there was one other lady who was also a participant.
• 30:57
  Robina: And she was drawn to my sister and I, and she kept very strong accent, despite having been in Australia a very long time.
• 31:03
  Robina: And she felt like she knew us already.
• 31:06
  Robina: And she sat between us at one point too, when we were just in a workshop.
• 31:11
  Robina: It was a bizarre sort of an interaction, but there was something in that.
• 31:15
  Robina: So it is very interesting what opens up.
• 31:17
  Robina: And we're both quite curious to see what might become moving forward without any search for anything in particular, but you know, who knows?
• 31:26
  Tracy: Yeah, the field is calling you maybe.
• 31:30
  Robina: I actually did to get, I did ask to get put on a wait list the other day for something the year after next that will take me further into this work.
• 31:37
  Robina: So
• 31:38
  Tracy: yeah, something.
• 31:40
  Tracy: Nice.
• 31:41
  Tracy: So are you saying that you would be considering training in the week?
• 31:47
  Robina: Yes.
• 31:48
  Tracy: Beautiful.
• 31:50
  Robina: It'd
• 31:50
  Tracy: be amazing.
• 31:51
  Tracy: You are amazing anyway.
• 31:52
  Tracy: I can already recognize that, but I know that what you're going to bring through is going to be fantastic.
• 31:57
  Tracy: With all that you have, you know, like we bring our own uniqueness to the work as well.
• 32:04
  Tracy: And that was one of the gifts that Haringa said was, um, teach you the bones.
• 32:10
  Tracy: He didn't really want to teach at the beginning, but when he finally did agree, he was like, I can give you the bones and, and, and you add to it your own flavor.
• 32:20
  Robina: I just find it so, so beautiful.
• 32:22
  Robina: I'm drawn in like it's already part of me.
• 32:24
  Robina: Like that's what I mean about like watching it.
• 32:26
  Robina: Why would you watch telly?
• 32:27
  Robina: Because it's like I'm in it.
• 32:29
  Robina: I'm already in it.
• 32:30
  Robina: And I would, I just want to stay there all day.
• 32:33
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 32:35
  Robina: I kind of want to talk about your cacao.
• 32:38
  Robina: What do you want to talk about?
• 32:40
  Robina: Because it's like, you know, When you get it, when you, um, like I've drunk cacao a lot, right?
• 32:48
  Robina: Like I know cacao, but you know, when you have the Arnott's biscuits at your nanny's house and they're different to the packet you buy yourself, or if you, your mom might put mothballs in the cupboard, but when you smell them at your nanny's, it's different.
• 33:02
  Tracy: I
• 33:03
  Robina: want your cacao for those reasons.
• 33:08
  Robina: I don't even know what it was about it, but it was very often when I've had cacao, it's like, Bites me a little bit, especially like in ceremony and it was so, uh, smooth and potent.
• 33:23
  Tracy: And so for the listeners and the viewers, Robina was part of my presentation at the conference, and I wasn't able to actually make cacao drink for everyone to drink, but I had in a form that they could just pop it in your tongue and, and allow it to dissolve.
• 33:39
  Tracy: And it was beautiful, wasn't it?
• 33:41
  Tracy: Like the, a whole, could feel the energy shift as it started to sink in for people in their, Really becoming very mindful, very conscious with the cacao, opening their heart and helping them connect to the bliss and the joy.
• 33:55
  Robina: Yeah, it was very, very, very beautiful.
• 33:57
  Tracy: And it had some blue lotus and kawakawa in it as well.
• 34:00
  Tracy: So the plant, actual plant material, um, rather than a tincture or anything like that, it was the actual plant material.
• 34:07
  Tracy: So
• 34:08
  Robina: yeah,
• 34:09
  Tracy: I think that really helped.
• 34:11
  Robina: One thing about constellations too, is like what you say about bringing your own flavor to it.
• 34:15
  Robina: Yeah.
• 34:16
  Robina: It's, it can just work in conjunction with so many things.
• 34:19
  Robina: And just even like you say, like round the dinner table, I hear at the cafe the other day, just the way you be in conversation can create a constellation.
• 34:29
  Robina: If you, and I really like that.
• 34:32
  Robina: I, um, the work that I'm doing now is with water.
• 34:36
  Robina: And recognizing like the consciousness of water and the aliveness and the frequency that, you know, we've had some tadpoles, for example, right now, this last 24 hours and the water was becoming really, um, like it was, it was evaporating really fast and they're all about, but I'm like, they're very hungry.
• 34:56
  Robina: So we went to our local lake.
• 34:59
  Robina: So where we'd gotten the tadpoles was in, was actually the dogs.
• 35:03
  Robina: Like water, which is a big thing.
• 35:05
  Robina: The dog can get in as well, but we've been away.
• 35:07
  Robina: So these tadpoles have grown.
• 35:09
  Robina: So we brought some so that the kids could watch them evolve right before our.
• 35:14
  Robina: But then we gave them some of the weed from the local lake.
• 35:16
  Robina: So it's still just a natural body of water.
• 35:19
  Robina: And they hooked into it with such vigor last night when we gave it to them, because I thought, oh, they're obviously hungry.
• 35:25
  Robina: They needed it.
• 35:26
  Robina: So this, it's just a Zola growing on top of the, you know, like, but this morning there's a lot of dead ones and there's some others that are just not doing well.
• 35:35
  Robina: There's life everywhere moving amongst us.
• 35:38
  Robina: And if we stagnate in any way, be it in our waters, be it in our Breath, you know, energetically we're severing life.
• 35:48
  Robina: So it opens up, it opens up so much room for the flow.
• 35:51
  Robina: And I've just feel like there's so much flow in my life, in my, my business life, in my family life, I just want to keep opening that up.
• 36:01
  Robina: And a lot of what's felt stagnant for me.
• 36:05
  Robina: Has been what's felt like, um, ancestral stuff without me having to give any language to it.
• 36:11
  Robina: And this like, it really opens the ability for flow in that.
• 36:16
  Tracy: Have you heard about, I haven't witnessed it, but I've heard about it.
• 36:20
  Tracy: Facilitators using constellations on water.
• 36:24
  Tracy: Oh, no.
• 36:26
  Tracy: They have little representatives.
• 36:28
  Tracy: I don't know what they use, but say, say you use like little bottle caps.
• 36:32
  Robina: Uh huh.
• 36:33
  Tracy: And they represented things.
• 36:34
  Tracy: And then you just let the body of water.
• 36:35
  Tracy: As you'll field and the things move around.
• 36:40
  Robina: Ah, that's so interesting.
• 36:41
  Robina: I'd love to if you know of any facilitators that do that.
• 36:45
  Robina: heads me up in their direction so I can observe because
• 36:48
  Tracy: Have a look on ANZSCI, which is the Ataroa New Zealand Constellation Incorporation.
• 36:54
  Tracy: So ANZSCI is, is the, is the body.
• 36:57
  Tracy: There is um, on the website there's a lady here in New Zealand that uses it.
• 37:01
  Tracy: I don't know if she does anything online, I haven't seen that, but uh, but you could google it as well and have a look.
• 37:08
  Robina: So no, Vader Austin's work is so beautiful in that, um, consciousness of water and it's, I feel like it's sort of a long, all along those sort of lines, you know, of living
• 37:20
  Tracy: the life.
• 37:21
  Tracy: So you could, this is, I mean, you can, I'm thinking, you know, you could use a body of water, a tray or whatever you've got and putting the intention in that, that is the field.
• 37:31
  Tracy: And then whatever the intention is of the client, I guess, asking the, the, the field to hold that.
• 37:38
  Tracy: Because that's what I do when I'm working with someone.
• 37:41
  Tracy: We're working in, um, we always put in the positive desired outcome, the PDO, so that we have something to move towards.
• 37:48
  Tracy: Otherwise it's like walking through treacle.
• 37:51
  Robina: Yeah.
• 37:52
  Tracy: So say you'd imprinted that into the water, the intention of this is what you're aiming for, and then you put your representatives in, and then just notice, witness, I guess you're not gonna, I don't know how you would get the feedback from, because normally if you were using an object on the floor you could touch it or you could, but then I do it online when people look at, look at things through an app and they're looking at the circle in front of them and then they're tuning into what it would be like to be standing on that yellow circle or a green circle or whatever, so you could I guess tune into what it would be like to be that blue bottle top or the green one and now it's like, It's just bumped into piece or, you know, it's moved past the block and it's gone over to the It'd be
• 38:36
  Robina: fun to explore, yeah.
• 38:37
  Tracy: Wouldn't it?
• 38:38
  Tracy: That'd be amazing.
• 38:42
  Robina: Isn't that interesting?
• 38:44
  Tracy: Because I've been watching you and following you on Instagram as well and you're sharing your journey on there with water and um, yeah, and Vida Austin that you shared about her, she's here in New Zealand and amazing stuff that's coming through there, right?
• 39:02
  Tracy: Yeah, and just knowing that that was the perfect conversation to have because that might be something that you lead and, uh Bringing through some new ways of working with water and constellations, who knows?
• 39:15
  Robina: Yeah, that's right.
• 39:17
  Robina: It feels good anyway.
• 39:19
  Tracy: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 39:22
  Tracy: Oh, beautiful.
• 39:22
  Tracy: It's been so good to talk to you, Robina.
• 39:25
  Robina: Likewise, I'm glad we were able to make that happen.
• 39:28
  Tracy: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:30
  Tracy: Now that I'm feeling a little bit better, it's been a bit of a, little bit of a journey and constellating myself and as well as having others.
• 39:38
  Tracy: I've been, um, processing quite a bit of grief this year.
• 39:41
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 39:41
  Tracy: With the loss of my, my mum transitioning and, uh, I guess also parts of myself.
• 39:53
  Tracy: And I mean, it's all great.
• 39:55
  Tracy: It's all good.
• 39:56
  Tracy: It's just another layer and giving myself time to stop and, and look at things.
• 40:00
  Tracy: So, um, so thank you for having the time to come and be with me and, um, and being patient with me because I canceled on you earlier.
• 40:08
  Robina: Oh, all okay.
• 40:09
  Robina: It's fine.
• 40:09
  Robina: Things happen as they ought.
• 40:10
  Robina: I definitely do have a deep belief in that.
• 40:13
  Tracy: Absolutely, yeah, yeah.
• 40:16
  Tracy: And I'd love to get in touch with you again in the future as well.
• 40:19
  Tracy: Just check in when you've been seeing where this journey with Constellation takes you.
• 40:26
  Tracy: So yeah, we'll see how that pans out in the future.
• 40:30
  Robina: Yeah, I have no doubt that our paths will continue to cross.
• 40:35
  Tracy: I'm sure, I'm sure.
• 40:37
  Tracy: So yeah, beautiful.
• 40:38
  Tracy: Have an amazing day.
• 40:40
  Tracy: And yeah, thank you so much.
• 40:43
  Tracy: Now, if people want to, before we sign off, if people want to know a little bit more about you or follow you on Instagram with your, um, with your site, what, how would they find you?
• 40:54
  Robina: Instagram is definitely the best and I'm just at Robina underscore me and there is an underscore in the middle.
• 41:01
  Tracy: Okay.
• 41:02
  Tracy: Yeah.
• 41:02
  Tracy: And is there anything else that you'd like to share before we sign off?
• 41:06
  Robina: I don't think so.
• 41:07
  Robina: I think that feels good.
• 41:09
  Tracy: Great.
• 41:10
  Tracy: Awesome.
• 41:11
  Tracy: Well, thank you so much.
• 41:13
  Tracy: Thank you, Tracy.
• 41:14
  Tracy: Thank you for listening.
• 41:16
  Tracy: Head over to Instagram and tell me what's resonated for you with this episode.
• 41:20
  Tracy: You'll find me at tracy.
• 41:23
  Tracy: cartwright.
• 41:24
  Tracy: That's tracy with no e.
• 41:26
  Tracy: cartwright and or head over to my website tracycartwright.
• 41:31
  Tracy: co.
• 41:31
  Tracy: nz and receive a free audio with the gift from your ancestors.
• 41:36
  Tracy: So until next time, be kind to yourself and have fun doing it.