Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / Better Than the Movies by Lynn Painter - We Support This Level of Delusion!

Transcript

Better Than the Movies by Lynn Painter - We Support This Level of Delusion! · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

0:00
Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Plot with Carla and
0:02
Emily. In this episode we're reading
0:05
Better Than the Movies by Lynn Painter.
0:07
We are talking about the entire book, so warning there will be
0:11
spoilers. I'm Carla and Wes had one of
0:27
those naughty boy faces, the kind of face where his dark eyes
0:32
surrounded by mile long thick lashes.
0:34
Because life wasn't fair. I'm Emily.
0:37
I wear alpaca hair so ghosts know I'm not a threat.
0:41
What? I do kind of remember that, but
0:44
not before we dive into the emotional rollercoaster that is
0:47
better than the movies, complete with teen angst, questionable
0:51
decisions and the most irritatingly lovable boy next
0:53
door. dot dot dot. We've got a small, not at all
0:57
desperate favour to ask. If you've been enjoying our very
1:00
serious literary analysis of romance novels, go ahead and
1:03
leave us a five star review. It helps us look like we know
1:06
what we're doing. And if you've got friends who
1:08
also enjoy second hand embarrassment, unresolved
1:12
tension and screaming into the void, send them this episode.
1:17
Trigger warnings from booktriggerwarnings.com.
1:20
Alcohol consumption, smoking, vomiting, grief and loss,
1:24
depiction, death of a mother in a car, accident mentioned and
1:29
bullying. Anything else?
1:33
Nay, nay, nay. Can we start with the elephant
1:36
in the room? Depends on the elephant and
1:39
depends on the room it's. Always the same elephant.
1:43
It was like 2 sentences and we got a dead mom.
1:46
Ah, yeah. Duh, it is the elephant.
1:48
So stressed I was like. You're like what?
1:51
Did I miss something? Apparently we know of a dead
1:54
mom. Honestly, I feel like we've had
1:56
a sooner dead mom. I think we've had a dead mom in
1:58
the first sentence where I feel like this was maybe the third.
2:01
Yeah. So I mean.
2:03
You know what, at least this dead mom was nice.
2:05
Yeah. She was the sweetheart of the
2:08
neighborhood. But she's dead, so we didn't.
2:13
Doesn't matter, we don't. Dead.
2:15
We don't know that much. She's out of here.
2:18
Honestly, I read the second book so I probably know.
2:21
More OK, yeah, you know what it's giving?
2:23
It's giving Mary Alice from Desperate Housewives.
2:26
Nah. OK, so she's the sweet mum of
2:29
the neighborhood that dies first episode and you're learning
2:32
about why she died kind of thing.
2:33
Yeah, that's this lady. Dead.
2:37
Dead. Bro, she's dead.
2:39
Bro what's wrong with being a mum?
2:42
Like, why are you cursed to die? OK?
2:44
Why can't there just be other other plots?
2:49
Why can't they live? Why can't her dog die and she'll
2:52
just be heartbroken? Because the dog didn't care
2:56
about romance movies. Maybe.
2:59
Maybe. Honestly, dead mums are just a
3:02
plot point. They are.
3:04
Have you seen the TikTok where it's like anti tropes?
3:07
It's like the opposite tropes. Oh no.
3:10
Say enemies to lovers, but it's her bullying him instead.
3:14
That's not that. Opposite.
3:16
It's like A twist. On a trope, Yeah.
3:18
Like twisted tropes, OK. All of them opposite and there
3:21
was one. It was like instead of 1 bed, 10
3:24
beds. Summer camp.
3:28
I really love that. Mm hmm.
3:31
Cool. So then it's them awkwardly
3:33
choosing how far apart they sleep.
3:35
Yeah. And then overthinking it.
3:36
I love that. Or instead of her being like the
3:39
hero, she's actually the villain.
3:42
OK, instead of him burning the world down, he kills.
3:47
But where does Dead Mum fit into that alive mum?
3:53
It's like, just give us a live mum a.
3:54
Live nice mum. Ohh.
3:56
Ohh. No.
3:57
If this makes you feel if this if this makes you feel worse,
4:01
right. Keeping in track with the book,
4:03
right? Book 2.
4:05
His mum goes loopty as well then.
4:08
She's a bad mum. And then she's a bad mum.
4:10
And then ruins his college like 2nd book spoiler sorry.
4:14
He drops out of college 'cause his dad dies and he has to look
4:18
after his sister because his mum decides dad.
4:21
Yeah, dead dad, but dead mum? Oh no.
4:25
I. Just.
4:26
Don't. It just never stopped let.
4:30
Them. Live Lynn if if it's not Lynn's
4:34
fault, it's everyone. This is a bigger.
4:37
Problem. Pick another trope, honestly.
4:40
Do women you just exist? I don't want to hear about any
4:43
mums anymore. Get rid of them.
4:47
They just. Wait, I'm not there?
4:48
They're gone already. They're gone.
4:49
They've been killed off. Emily got what she wants.
4:51
They're. There in the background.
4:55
OK, so it is what it is. Dead mums will forever be a plot
4:59
point. The end.
5:00
OK, so I guess let's start with Elizabeth Box, BOM Box and BOM
5:08
Box and BOM. I feel like it wasn't that.
5:11
What is the? Box bomb.
5:14
Oh yeah, OK. But at the start, I heard Livy
5:18
live, Libby, Liz, that I thought this was another fucking Olivia
5:21
I don't like. If this is going to be another
5:24
basic gift, Olivia, I'm going to fucking lose it.
5:26
No. Because we just had a basic
5:28
bitch, Olivia. I don't remember.
5:30
The Unhoneymooners. No.
5:32
And I was like. Out of my brain.
5:34
Bye, yeah. I can only keep so.
5:36
Much that's true. There's only so much, so many.
5:39
Books in there there's. Only so much RAM in there.
5:43
You gotta take one out, put a new one in.
5:45
You know what? She's a redhead.
5:46
She is a redhead. She's not like other girls.
5:49
She OK is an awkward girl. She's desperate for male
5:53
validation, that was obvious. Pick me through and read out.
5:59
Oh my God. And honestly, early on, or maybe
6:02
midway, I was like, wow, this entire book is her fishing for
6:05
compliments. Mm hmm.
6:08
Mm hmm. The whole way.
6:09
Through I was lied to by TikTok because I got the audio and I
6:13
was excited. That was book 2.
6:15
That's my fault. My bad.
6:16
Oh, what were you lied to about? I just thought they would have
6:20
his voice in this one. Anywho, she's not allowed to be
6:23
awkward. How old is she again?
6:25
Is it 17? 1718 I feel, Yeah, I feel, I
6:29
feel. Quaking.
6:32
Honestly, I didn't know it was a teenage book because even with
6:35
books with these stupid cartoon covers, sometimes they're like,
6:38
I was 38 years old and I stepped out on the New York sidewalk, do
6:43
you know what I mean? Waiting to fall in love.
6:45
But it was like, bitch, she's 17.
6:47
Yeah. And so I almost had to give her
6:49
a bit of a pass. Yeah, she was giving 17.
6:52
She was giving 17. 17 10 year olds are weird.
6:55
They are. Yeah.
6:58
They do weird shit like wear retro red lipstick every day.
7:02
OK. I can't talk because I'm not a
7:05
redhead, but can a redhead enter the chat and please let me know
7:08
I. Reckon it would look good but
7:10
it's just you're in high school do.
7:13
You think she's trying to do like the Taylor Swift or like
7:15
the? Yeah, she said.
7:18
Yeah, Yeah. Oh, she did OK.
7:20
She said in the first part of the book that she dresses up
7:23
every day for her love moment for her cute.
7:26
Me, me cute. Don't know how you're going to
7:28
do that in high school they'd be farting everywhere.
7:32
Why? Why?
7:33
Why? Why?
7:34
Why? Because she can.
7:38
Well, you're answering. For her.
7:40
We just. Circle back.
7:42
I'm like car, Elizabeth. I'm like why but also why not?
7:46
That's all I could think about was get in the car.
7:48
Elizabeth out of the buff buff. Buff, get in the car, Elizabeth.
7:56
Is Elizabeth coming back? Is it circling back?
8:00
No, because we're getting the vintage names now, you know what
8:02
I mean? I think she was just meant to be
8:04
a vintage girlie. Yeah, she's different, OK, But a
8:07
very common name. Like there was Elizabeth the
8:09
12th up in this hole, you know? What I mean, there's a long line
8:14
of Elizabeth somewhere. The line the lineage goes back
8:18
babes. The lineages a circle.
8:25
The family tree is a. Reef.
8:28
Elizabeth the Boxing. Bomb.
8:33
I'm. Dead.
8:33
I don't know what's happening right now.
8:36
Honestly, help. So anyway, Elizabeth is
8:39
existing. She's 17.
8:41
She's fishing like it's the last day of fishing season.
8:44
Eyes on her. What are you?
8:48
Oh. Yeah, eyes on her at all times.
8:50
Sorry. Yeah, she needs her moment.
8:53
OK, so enter Wes Wesley Bennett, the boy next door, the annoying
8:59
boy next door. He's always been there, just in
9:01
the background. Harassing her, Pranking her.
9:05
Yeah, just being annoying. Yeah, I think he did something
9:08
to her car was that she gets dressed, ready for school,
9:11
leaves and he's sitting on her car.
9:13
Because they're fighting over the car.
9:14
Park. Honestly, I would fold.
9:16
Where is this car park like? How important.
9:18
In front of her house, it's not. House, so it's hers.
9:21
It's between. They have.
9:23
It's not. It's not important though.
9:24
It's important for the plot line, but it's not.
9:27
Important. It's important for the law.
9:29
It's important for the love. Law.
9:31
Yeah, because they've been fake fighting over this.
9:33
Yes, realistically call someone from the council to come out.
9:37
She did. Wow, that's.
9:40
Just how much I pay attention. She.
9:42
She. Before her car got put there,
9:45
she called the council because apparently loser you can't leave
9:49
your car for somewhere for 24 hours.
9:51
Like she was gonna get it towed. She got it towed and then he the
9:55
reason she had that shit on her car was he sticky taped his I'm
10:00
assuming council ticket to her car.
10:03
Love that. I love how you're explaining the
10:05
book to me as if I didn't read this last weekend like I have no
10:08
memory. Honestly, I'm surprised I do.
10:11
Yeah, there was lots of this that just didn't absorb.
10:15
I think it's one of those. Books, yeah, it is surface level
10:18
and for that I was happy because I think my brain needed a break.
10:21
It does need a break. You know what I talking about
10:24
breaks the second book, right? He's got his own point of view
10:29
in it. And I will give Lynn Painter
10:31
this. She can do a male's perspective,
10:35
yearning love. No sexual shit.
10:39
I'm talking none at all. You know how you read a man sing
10:41
and they're like, Oh my Dick's hard 'cause she fucking opened
10:44
her eyeballs? It's 'cause she's wearing a
10:46
summer dress. Yeah, this man was like, I love
10:49
the way she speaks. I love the way quaking, quaking.
10:54
He found her in a party based on her hands.
10:57
Her No, here we are. Her hands, her perfume and her
11:01
mouth because she put in like contacts.
11:03
It was a costume party. She's a piano player.
11:06
Not a Cinderella story. Yeah, and I'm like every bit of
11:10
this man speaking was him like obsessed with her.
11:13
But you know, like I love the earth she walks on.
11:16
And it was none of this fucking I'm hard all the time, which was
11:19
a really nice. Goddess worship mode.
11:22
Activated. I was like I can listen to this
11:26
all. It was nice.
11:27
It was so nice. Nice to hear men care.
11:31
I'm sick of reading a. Book and they're literally like
11:35
the smell of it made my Dick hard I.
11:37
Think also like you're catering to different audiences because I
11:40
think it goes to show that women are not sexually desired enough
11:43
in today's society and they're also not healthily obsessed over
11:47
enough. Either I don't want to be
11:50
sexually desired like that. I reckon I would love if they're
11:54
like, I just love everything about it.
11:56
Yeah, so this goddess mode is. He could answering crowds based
12:00
on her perfume. That shit, it's crazy.
12:02
Yeah, I know. Little Bloodhound, like what is
12:07
he doing exactly? Oh my God.
12:09
He's like that Chanel #5. It was just really refreshed,
12:13
woodwashed, not much. I would.
12:15
She. Would.
12:16
She would. So now let's talk about Michael,
12:19
the other point to the triangle A Oh my God.
12:23
So he was the primary school crush.
12:26
He moved away to Texas for a bit, and now he's returned with
12:29
a slight country twang. And she's twang.
12:32
She's twang. She's by the twang.
12:34
Yeah, she. Has she's been twang by the
12:36
twang and he. Was not like other boys.
12:38
No, he wasn't. He was catching bugs not to
12:41
kill. Catching.
12:44
Bugs catching books from the garden.
12:46
Catch. To release catch to release
12:48
catch. To observe reading books in the
12:50
garden. It's like please can we at least
12:52
get a physical description of Michael?
12:54
Please, I'm begging. I don't even know what this man
12:57
looks like. Doesn't matter.
12:59
Does not matter. It does because I have to know
13:02
why she even likes him. There was a lot about his stupid
13:04
hair. Didn't take any of it in.
13:07
I don't know what. That was it curly?
13:08
Because in my mind, I feel like it is.
13:11
Basically, she wants to get with Michael now that he's back in
13:14
town. Yeah, because he's got good
13:16
hair. And now it's going to fulfill
13:18
her childhood. Crush.
13:19
I mean he's been gone for like 10 years.
13:22
He's a fully grown man, but he also gives me the ick.
13:25
Anytime he spoke I was like damn you really long the barrel on
13:29
this one. I think the problem with Liz is
13:32
that when her and her mum were together, when her mum was
13:35
alive, obviously they watched all of these cheesy romance
13:38
movies. So the second Michael came back
13:41
into her life, she's like, oh, it's destined because he was my
13:43
first crush. Yeah, it's like coal.
13:46
Look, you know nothing about. Him that right now though, at
13:49
least spend some time. And everyone keeps telling that
13:52
her that too. They're like he could literally
13:54
be a psycho. Exactly.
13:55
But no, no, no, she just double s down.
13:57
She's like no, this will make mum happy.
14:00
So she recruits Wes because she realises their buddy buddy and
14:04
she essentially tells him this whole plot that like I have to
14:08
get Oh my God, you know what, we should have known.
14:12
Like I feel like this girl is so dumb because even in when she's
14:16
recruiting him, Wes goes it's not gonna work 'cause yous
14:20
aren't doing the enemies to love is true.
14:22
Even he was like I'm working hard.
14:25
I know he's like, I'm doubling down every day on this shit and
14:28
she's into Michael. But you know, we'll give him,
14:31
give him what we give him. And he just agrees because he
14:34
knows he'll be able to spend more time with her.
14:35
Exactly. We love a shared project.
14:38
Yeah. If anything is gonna bring you
14:39
together, it's a shared project. So he's pretending to care about
14:43
the ultimate goal. I'm like at least he's putting
14:45
in the work. Hmm Michael couldn't give 2
14:48
shits. Michael, it's oblivious.
14:50
Michael's so oblivious. Anytime she's hurt or something,
14:54
she's like, Michael doesn't care but worse does.
14:57
I'm like, shut up. But to be fair, Michael's not
14:59
even there 99% of the time. How's he supposed to care about
15:02
things he's not physically present for?
15:05
Honestly, I wouldn't be Michael. This girl is in this whole
15:07
situation. That would be me.
15:09
I'm sort of like, I don't know. This goes bold though.
15:12
Imagine walking up to your Hut. Buff neighbor.
15:16
Was he 6 foot? He.
15:17
Feel like he feel like he had a glow up.
15:20
He had a glow up in book 2. He was like 65.
15:22
So I'm assuming he's huge. OK, you've got this huge ass
15:26
who's giving you every bit of attention he possibly can, and
15:30
you're just gonna go for the weird kid with the country
15:33
Twain? Well, I think Michael's supposed
15:36
to be hot as well and because her and Wes have had this long,
15:41
she just thinks Wes doesn't think she's attractive or
15:43
anything, you know what I mean? Like she just thinks it's
15:46
brother sister vibes. I mean he goes every day out of
15:49
this way for this girl. Yeah, but she doesn't pick it
15:51
up. She's not picking up what he's
15:52
putting down to Lulu. To Lulu.
15:54
He's literally screaming in her face exactly what he's doing.
15:58
But also he plays it too cool. She doesn't know she's dumb.
16:05
You know what? She's like dumb.
16:07
She's so dumb though. I was going to say she's not
16:09
that dumb, but she. Is because.
16:11
In her mind, she'll be like, Wes is there for me every single
16:14
day, and then Michael couldn't even care and I'm like.
16:17
Your answer's right. There, Honestly, if I was,
16:20
what's her name, Helena, I'd be fucking losing my mind.
16:24
I'd be shaking her. I know what she does in me end
16:27
but but even a long time ago. There, like, I get it, your
16:31
mum's a romance writer for movies or books or whatever.
16:35
Your mum would. Pick the next door neighbor.
16:37
Be fucking for real. She doesn't know what a story
16:39
arc is. OK, she's.
16:42
Like. Nah, stop.
16:43
Picking music for five fucking minutes.
16:45
And she just double S down and goes, No, Michael is the answer.
16:48
And hopefully we'll go together at prom because that solves
16:52
everything, you know what I mean?
16:53
But let's be real, it's OK that a 17 year old girl doesn't have
16:57
actual problems. Like, oh, let's be happy in her,
17:00
right? She's absolutely right for her.
17:04
Good for her. She's picking between two
17:07
equally attractive men, apparently.
17:09
I'm like, I'm girls girl, but I'm also a haters first so she's
17:14
like, what's the point of talking about it if I can't hate
17:16
on that? Oh 100% and I mean really,
17:19
Michael is oblivious, which is fine.
17:21
That's just boys for ya. I feel like his brain would be
17:25
the my Dick's hard every two minutes.
17:27
He just seems dumb. Yeah.
17:29
But I feel like he's not very sexually charged either 'cause
17:32
he could have pushed things all the way already if he wanted to
17:35
at that party and stuff. Sure didn't.
17:37
Why? He wasn't 'cause he was seeing
17:39
that other girl. Yeah but he wasn't like serious
17:41
about it but he still could have.
17:43
Have you watched love island? No boys literally will just
17:46
fully make out with the chick 5 seconds if they have an
17:49
opportunity. Oh my God.
17:50
Even if they're fully in a fake relationship with one of the
17:53
other Islanders look like. I'm.
17:54
Fine. What I don't understand though
17:56
is Michael moves back to town. Liz decides OK, I've got to make
18:00
this work. Why does she change her
18:02
personality to become a full pathological liar over the
18:06
dumbest shit? Yeah you literally could have
18:09
just stayed normal. Like calm the fuck down.
18:13
Sports girl, you can't change your entire life.
18:16
Exactly what I don't understand though.
18:18
She's like at some little get together or something.
18:21
Michael's there. Mm hmm.
18:23
And she decides to tell the biggest loudmouth in the entire
18:26
party, which is just another girl, that she's like,
18:28
essentially dating Wes. Mm hmm the fuck Mm hmm.
18:32
Why I was? Like I feel like the universe
18:35
was just pushing them together at all times.
18:37
Why is that the method to get Michael to like you?
18:40
Why are? You trying to be his friend?
18:41
You hate this man. If some girl his age is hitting
18:46
on him in a party, I'm sure he's either grown enough to say I'm
18:49
not interested or he's probably interested.
18:53
That's why he hasn't said what you think.
18:55
I just don't get it because she said that they're buddy buddy,
18:58
so why would you instantly make it look like, oh, I'm trying to
19:00
work my way through the friend group?
19:02
What? She said Not even like, oh, me
19:04
and Wes were talking last summer, 'cause I'm such a hot
19:07
ticket. She's like, oh, we're dating.
19:09
For dating What for dating? Off the market bitch.
19:12
Like what do you mean? I don't know if it's because I'm
19:15
a grown ass woman now or if at 17 I would have just ignored it.
19:19
I'm like, you know what I mean? I feel like I would have not
19:22
done it. Why was that important?
19:24
I. Was like, I wouldn't have done
19:25
any of that and also if she was drinking alcohol, it would have
19:28
made more sense. Not only that, can we talk about
19:31
the mustard sweater dress? She showed up in a mustard
19:34
sweater dress with flowers with her red lipstick on and the
19:38
first thing Michael ask her is why did she come in her work
19:41
uniform? I can't imagine that being a
19:43
work uniform. And she's like, yeah, I work at
19:46
the diner, the diner. And he's like, oh, cool, what's
19:49
it called? The Diner.
19:51
And he's like, Oh yeah, I'm not that new to town bitch.
19:54
Imagine him looking up the diner to go see her at work.
19:56
Fuck me, I'm like, it's not on Google Maps, OK?
19:59
It's very niche. Very niche, but I really.
20:02
Wes. Secret OK, Wes has like a go at
20:05
her, and it's not even because he thinks the outfit's ugly.
20:09
It's probably cute. But he's like, howdy partner,
20:12
who's the Philly in the dress block in the hook?
20:16
That's what he says we're making like.
20:18
Philly stop. Like why do you even want him?
20:23
But at this point cancelled. Cancel but also like.
20:28
Why are you trying so hard? Because she literally.
20:31
Does that. I'm going to be picked out in
20:33
the crowd and he's like, not for the reasons you want to go.
20:37
Yeah, because people got hungry for pancakes all of a sudden.
20:39
It's like, where's the diner again?
20:41
It's like 24 hours. He pretty much called you greasy
20:44
because everyone knows you look shit after work.
20:47
Oh my God, it's a. Fact.
20:48
Oh my. God, he pretty.
20:49
Much called you. He pretty much called you
20:51
greasy. Goyle.
20:54
You know what, at least she didn't roll up in there and roll
20:56
the blades like 5 brothers. I wouldn't be surprised though,
21:03
she tries to like backwards. Wes is like this hot jock and
21:10
he's taking the nerdy girl to party and he's just in the
21:12
corner. Like why?
21:14
But like. Why does he have to be the
21:15
accessory of dating her? Oh my God, at least tell me
21:18
we're fake dating before we go into the function.
21:22
Like please. It's a bit of warning.
21:24
If I was Wes, I'd be hooking up with someone else in the next
21:27
room and then she's coming over here and then everyone thinks
21:30
I'm the bad guy. Like no, we were fake dating
21:35
babes. Have.
21:38
Fun. You're really out here telling a
21:39
girl while you're trying to date someone else in the room?
21:42
I know. Imagine how bad that would make
21:44
you look. No, honestly, Wes could do so
21:47
much better. No, I feel like they're very on
21:49
par. I mean.
21:51
He does do a lot. He's just a better man than I
21:53
would be in that scenario. I'd be like.
21:58
I mean. I'm going to college next year.
22:00
I don't need to see you. Guys ever again.
22:04
He's he's out here helping the. Nerdy girl out telling me I'm
22:07
65. Bye.
22:14
Oh shit. Like, I mean, are you kidding?
22:18
Anyway, anyway, back-to-back to the programme.
22:21
This girl is so psychotic because it's so very on par for
22:25
17, so I'll let her have it. So while this is all happening
22:29
while he's telling her she looks greasy as fuck up.
22:33
Oh shit. And she's a filly.
22:34
She says to Michael in her head, How would you feel if I told you
22:39
I love you? This man is not even looking at
22:42
you. He does not even care.
22:45
He does not even care you're in the room.
22:50
He said you're blocking the other girls.
22:53
He said get out. Of the way, why won't you?
22:55
Know that's what Wes said to her.
22:59
Wes said it as my. Girl.
23:00
Oh, OK. But you know Wes knows him best,
23:04
so. I'm not OK.
23:07
And then immediately, immediately.
23:09
This girl cannot give anyone a break.
23:12
Immediately after she says that Michael's like this is all in
23:17
the same time period. She goes in her head when
23:20
Michael says something like, oh, I don't know.
23:22
When Prom is. She's like, you know me.
23:24
Take me, my beautiful Michael, not the evil and vapid Laney
23:27
Shut. Up What did Laney do to you Ho?
23:30
Oh my God. Just because you were grieving
23:34
doesn't mean a girl can't have her mother shut up.
23:38
Sorry I. Love it.
23:40
Well, their beef. Was all because like she was
23:42
grieving her mum and Laneys mum would come to school.
23:45
Yep. Just because something tragic
23:47
happened to you does not mean it has to happen to everyone.
23:50
Be for real. And wasn't her mum being nice to
23:52
her? Yeah, she's bringing her extra
23:54
food or whatever. They're buying her extra food
23:55
all the time. Yeah, like she punishes other
23:58
people for just. Existing.
24:00
Existing, trying to give her a distance and they weren't pushy.
24:03
Well she was like Laney would bring in food, baked goods from
24:07
her mum and tell everyone about it and share them around it.
24:10
Her mum was making extra baked goods for you girl.
24:12
Put it together, she just just too dumb.
24:15
Too dumb, too she wasn't. A girl but.
24:17
Still, but still, Why? Why?
24:19
Are. You calling her vapid an evil?
24:22
Because she wants her man. Honestly, she's not like her.
24:25
Like gods, OK, she's a redhead. She just, she wants the glass
24:29
lane, she wants the fast lane to every boy and she doesn't want
24:32
any boy to have anyone else, no. And then immediately after all
24:37
that happens, she gets power disputed on again.
24:40
That was actually funny. Honestly, well deserved.
24:43
Michael's probably like, Oh no, your uniform.
24:48
How would you? Afford another?
24:50
Do you have a spare girl? But to be fair, like the other
24:54
girls are at least trying to drink and have fun.
24:57
Exactly. Like live your life and why are
24:59
you? Confessing to this man you met
25:00
like 2 days ago. Your crush Ashley did you a
25:03
favour. She stopped you.
25:05
The parties were kind of funny, but I.
25:08
Was kind of like. Where is this?
25:09
Going I think all of the random shit was to just boost.
25:14
What's up? Because immediately after she
25:17
gets power spewed he's like pretty sure someone was hitting
25:20
on him and he like moves them to the side and it's like taking
25:22
her to get changed and everything.
25:24
And then didn't they go home together or something like I
25:27
mean. Well, she went back down to the
25:28
party because she didn't want her phone, and then he took her
25:30
home because his pants were falling off her.
25:32
From here onwards they just have all these little non date dates
25:37
and at this point he didn't really like ask her what her
25:40
plan is about the fake dating because like when does that end?
25:44
I'd be like how long am I doing this for because I didn't even
25:46
agree to it at the start. Yeah.
25:49
So that was a bit vague. Obviously he's loving it.
25:51
Oh yeah. Because he's like.
25:53
That's exactly what I wanted this entire time.
25:55
I. Know which I don't understand,
25:57
because if you if you've just spread a rumor about yourself,
26:00
everyone is going to kind of leave you alone.
26:02
Yeah, there's a bit of girl code.
26:03
Even the girl at the party was like, I didn't know I'm good.
26:06
I was flirting with your man in front of your face.
26:09
I'm so sorry. Exactly.
26:10
So you've just he went to work for him.
26:12
Yeah, and. Now how are you going to UN piss
26:15
on him before prom? There's a death, and he'd have
26:17
to be into it for her to work. Well, this man was living his
26:20
dream. He's like, oh, now I get to take
26:22
her everywhere with me. And excuses to hang out, to
26:25
strategize about Michael, which why?
26:28
And he's a teenage boy. It wouldn't take that much.
26:31
Strategy Teenagers are weird. Let's be real, we were doing
26:34
some weird shit. Probably if I wasn't 20 years
26:38
older than you old my like. 16 once too.
26:46
Was, you know, early in the piece where Liz and Wes are
26:49
hanging out more? I love how she just full blown
26:52
obsessed that she knows his exact scent profile.
26:56
I'm like stop. Like she had the notes, she had
26:59
the top notes, the middle, the bass.
27:00
She had everything. And I was like, I'm.
27:03
Like stop trying to convince yourself you're not in love with
27:05
this man. And then he was even like he was
27:09
so complimented. Get a girl.
27:12
I don't know. He was like and he said I'm
27:14
winning slowly but. He's like he's got her trained
27:18
on his I. Wish we had the point of view of
27:21
him, even if it was like a little snippet, like a little
27:24
novella even. Because it would be giving
27:28
Edward from Twilight obsessed but like holding everything back
27:32
the girlies love. Girlies love.
27:34
I didn't know what the whole big deal about him buying those
27:37
bloody shoes was. The Chucks.
27:40
Just a gift. But it was such a big girl.
27:42
I don't wear sharks. I'm not like other girls, no.
27:46
But just think about it, you're 1617, right?
27:49
You're going shopping and some This man's higher than he's
27:53
older than he should be. Like mentally maturity.
27:56
Ohh what? Barely, but vaguely.
28:00
And this man buys you cute little converse some girl posted
28:05
on TikTok, the converse she thinks that he bought her.
28:07
And they were like, white ones with little flowers embroidered
28:10
on them, like those. Yeah, yeah, they're the exact
28:13
ones. He would he.
28:16
Would but. I feel like secretly he wants
28:18
her shoe size. Why?
28:20
Because he's. Obsessed.
28:21
He want. He has like a like a notebook at
28:24
home with her, like height, weight.
28:26
He's cataloguing everything. He sneaked her hands out at a
28:29
party at a muscarian ball. OK, hit me out.
28:32
Hit me out with the shopping, too.
28:34
He was like, oh, you can't wear that to the basketball because
28:37
we'll look out of place. I feel like he was doing
28:40
everything in his power to to make it so that she would get to
28:45
a point that she loses herself like Himia loses herself and
28:49
then she resents Michael because she had to change her whole
28:52
person. Like this man was a long time
28:55
hauling I feel like. He was overcorrecting.
28:58
Yeah, he was like. Oh, Michael loves a sporty lass.
29:02
A sporty lass was. Straight, so we're gonna have to
29:04
go get some jock straps and shit.
29:08
He's like, you're gonna have to buy all your clothes, throw out
29:10
all the things you love, shoulder pads, straighten your
29:13
hair every day, no fun little cute shoes for you anymore, no
29:17
lipstick. He was like.
29:18
Say goodbye to your entire personality, Liz.
29:21
Get in the car, Elizabeth. We're going shopping.
29:26
He's. Like we're going shopping.
29:28
He's like low key traumatising us.
29:30
Honestly, I would, it's what she deserves.
29:34
He's like, look, if you date this man, you're gonna have to
29:36
wear fucking jeans with rips in them.
29:42
That's a problem because she doesn't wanna do that because
29:45
she's not like. Other girls she's a wear dress
29:47
everyday girl and he's. Like to be the Nora Smith at
29:50
home barefoot. Mm hmm.
29:51
Baking from. Scratch.
29:53
Yes, the Megan Muckle, if you will survive.
29:57
And he's just like he's. Stunningly.
29:59
Beautiful. We're not like, that's fucking
30:01
disgusting to Michael. Like Michael?
30:06
Loves it. Michael.
30:07
Thanks you bitch. Michael loves the inflated lips,
30:11
the peroxide blonde hair. I would just love it if he gave
30:15
her just bad makeover advice. I, I feel like Wes was one step
30:18
away from going like bleach your hair, girl.
30:21
I try it off. He was, he might love it.
30:23
We're eyeing for the street going.
30:26
They end up going to the basketball game too.
30:28
And then she's like awkwardly sitting in the car because
30:31
Laney's also going. I have no idea why Laney was in
30:33
the cat suit. Was she?
30:36
But it wasn't like, OK. It was like a tight cat.
30:39
I feel like she was a dancer maybe.
30:41
Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, she mentioned she
30:42
was still wearing her dance outfit in the car.
30:46
Yeah, but again, every time Liz is anywhere any other girl goes.
30:50
Oh, I didn't know you were coming.
30:53
Because Liz is the weird. Girl who isn't even in the
30:56
popular group, so every time she's just physically in the car
30:58
because Wes is tagging her along, everyone goes oh.
31:02
Oh, OK, No one told us in the group chat.
31:04
Yeah. Literally they have a group chat
31:06
without her and you know it. You know it.
31:10
She's not in the group chat. And like, she's in it now, but
31:12
still. No, she's not.
31:13
She's just the one that rocks up in person.
31:16
She is where's is in the group chat you.
31:18
Know. It where's his tag along again?
31:22
Are they are they related? I can't remember.
31:23
Oh, it's the weird girl from. Is it his cousin?
31:26
It's the one that he feels bad for because her mum died.
31:31
It is. Is that anyway she's in the car?
31:36
I'm just moving on. She's in the car and she's
31:41
trying to talk to Michael, but you know, Laney gets in the car
31:43
so she can't have a conversation with a man anymore.
31:46
Of course. It's too hard.
31:47
Laney's there. Well, so he's got no interest in
31:49
you, bitch. Read the like be for real.
31:54
What does Laney look like? She's like a cheerleader.
31:57
I don't know. Yeah, some dancer.
31:58
Vapid, extraordinary. Bendy, bendy, slippy slidey
32:04
catsuit. Slick.
32:06
She's saving the day, she's in the night in the what?
32:12
I'm appreciating a book where it wasn't just like, sexually
32:15
charged. I know I loved it.
32:17
Because a lot of times these weird teenage books.
32:21
Are. Very sexually charged.
32:23
And it's scary. You can't be.
32:25
And there's rising a weird. Sex cult gang thing.
32:28
I'm like. You know.
32:30
Hearing about them having age appropriate relationships, I'm
32:33
like what? I'm honestly at a point where
32:36
I'm surprised it wasn't a weird gang and a sex cop I.
32:39
Was like. Oh, where is I was like where's
32:42
the non consent? Exactly.
32:45
Everyone was just. I've been so we're so
32:48
traumatised of Silver Salon. It's still in Everest.
32:51
I know, but also a lot of times you're just like, I didn't wanna
32:55
sign up for this kind of book. I feel like a creepy pervert
32:58
reading this. Yeah, 'cause I'm like, I didn't
33:00
know it was gonna be about teenagers having weird.
33:03
Sex, you've either gotta go through it going this is weird,
33:07
or you've gotta bring yourself down and be like, oh, I'm a 19
33:10
year old reading this book, not a 30.
33:12
Year old? Yeah, sure.
33:13
Just lie to yourself. Lie to yourself.
33:15
I lie to myself everyday. Oh, exactly.
33:17
Did. You know, but she read the room
33:21
bitch, because in the car ride in the car, she starts reading a
33:24
book on her phone. Love that for you.
33:26
But Wes is reading the book over her shoulder and then she stops
33:29
reading because you know, she's reading smart.
33:31
But I was like. A cheesy romance.
33:32
It wasn't like a smart, smart. It was cheesy.
33:34
Romance, but she was getting to the kissing scene.
33:37
The sex scene in it or some shit, you know, it's a fade to
33:40
black. It's a fade to black, you know?
33:43
She's not actually reading smart Michael's would fall off.
33:49
But I'm like, what you doing, girl?
33:51
Because you've got this man who's in your orbit 24/7.
33:55
You're reading books of hot. Breath is on your neck while
33:58
you're. Reading your book.
33:59
With his top notes of pine enveloping you like.
34:04
Be for real. Be for fucking real I.
34:06
Won't even look at you without being prompt.
34:12
Jesus so. Not only that.
34:13
Michaels not checking for you? No, he doesn't give a fuck
34:17
anyway. He gets to the basketball game,
34:19
Michaels not even paying any interest to her.
34:22
Of course Wes sets up a bet with her and it's like if he wins
34:25
I'll give you 50 bucks. Don't know where this man is
34:27
getting money from. Doesn't seem to have a job.
34:31
Poke it, Mummy. Poke it up.
34:32
His job is obsessing over her. Apparently.
34:35
I don't know, something about the chucks and dress combo made
34:38
me think of Bella Swan. They was like she's.
34:41
Not as insufferable as Bella Swan, she's a bit more like a
34:45
slightly bit more talkative, a bit less emo weird girl.
34:50
Yeah, a bit more. Hopeful weird girl Zooey
34:52
Deschanel type. Yeah, people love, love.
34:55
I would hate her in real. Life.
34:58
Do you hate Troy? Yes.
35:00
Obviously you're like teenage hope ghosting.
35:06
Get it away. From me.
35:08
You and your normal. Problems and your.
35:10
Normal relationships. How?
35:12
Dare you go home and just listen to music and go to bed and not
35:15
have to do? Literally.
35:17
All these things, foul adult things, this is when she gets
35:22
hit in the face with the basketball and they keep calling
35:24
her Mr. Potato Head. Michael's laughing in her face.
35:27
Yeah, laughing in her face. Cacking away does not.
35:29
Crying with laughter. He does not give a shit.
35:32
He's like fuck you look ugly girl.
35:34
Farting with laughter. Farting with laughter on the
35:37
ground, kissing himself, Shooting, shooting, pissing down
35:40
the wall. Exactly.
35:42
Wes panicking. Panicking.
35:44
Panicking has taken his shirt off in her face, literally
35:47
making her count to 10 I feel. Head tilted.
35:50
Tilted. He's like, Oh my God, first aid.
35:52
He's like, I'm actually the ambulance.
35:54
So 91 one bed one. Oh my God, he's also.
35:58
The only one willing to walk her to the hospital.
36:01
Well, to be fair, like if I was in the friend group and having
36:04
fun, if someone's got it handled, I'm not going to like
36:06
intrude. I'm not going to be like, I have
36:09
to come to that. I'll keep that in mind.
36:12
I'm very not helpful. Like if he's walking her there
36:14
already, isn't that like third Wheeling?
36:16
I don't know. Yeah, but if you care about
36:19
someone. What if I care about her getting
36:21
that Duke? That Duke.
36:25
Like this? All go well, just like Paul.
36:27
Wes walking out down the street keeping her distracted.
36:29
He even calls her parents and is like look she parent.
36:35
Duh. Helena.
36:36
Yeah, yeah, true. But to be fair, she's projecting
36:39
Helena as her mom. She acts like she's like an
36:43
random how to the family how dare Helena.
36:46
Be quirky in a different way to you.
36:47
Oh. Poor justice for Helena.
36:50
She put it in the work. Every day she's fucking
36:53
overtaking Gary. Gary, at this point?
36:56
You know what pisses me off? I was like, she acts like she
36:58
hasn't been there for the like last.
37:00
Million. Years, 12 years watching her.
37:03
Yeah, she's like, just my dad's home.
37:06
And she went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs when Helena was at her
37:10
mother's grave. Mm hmm.
37:12
Like she's the only allowed to be there.
37:15
And then Helena was like, I was literally coming here to spend
37:17
time with your mum to ask for some advice, which valid.
37:20
She's like allowed to do that, and she's like you.
37:22
Never even met. Her.
37:23
Well, duh. Because I wasn't having an
37:25
affair with your dad, idiot. That would make it.
37:27
Even. Worse.
37:29
And let's be real, your mum was a romance writer.
37:32
She. Would be all.
37:33
For her dad having a second love.
37:35
Oh, she would be all. She would be.
37:38
That up and also she probably would want you to be happy.
37:43
And someone to look after you. Exactly, so if you'd be happy
37:46
with another parent then it's probably for your greater good.
37:49
Bitch, shut up. But anyway, Helena aside, who
37:52
Helena is the best? We love Helena.
37:55
Just As for her because the amount of shit that she cops.
37:58
I also love the name Helena. It suits.
38:01
I feel like it suits her. Anyway, they're walking along.
38:05
Anyway, they're on the way to. He's rung the parents, he's
38:08
getting her to the hospital. He's shirtless walking into a
38:12
hospital. And he or she is like Michael.
38:16
Like, do you think he noticed me?
38:17
And. Wes is like he noticed.
38:20
When he's fighting, he. Noticed you when your face was
38:25
fucking caved in he was having. He's gonna go home and giggle at
38:31
your fathead. Oh my God, his.
38:34
Feet kicked off like. Get it, potato.
38:37
Head Honestly, Michael's the type who would have got it on
38:40
film and he's editing a story right now.
38:46
Oh God. And just hashtag the basketball
38:50
hit is the weird chick. Oh my God, I just can't.
38:54
And then he tries to tag her, but he doesn't even know her
38:56
tag. Oh.
38:58
He's got her blocked for being weird.
39:06
Don't, because. Where is he?
39:09
Where did Michael come? Is he running behind us?
39:11
Is he messaging him about caring?
39:14
Is he messaging you because he cares so much?
39:16
No. If he cared, he'd message you
39:18
babes. No, he doesn't get.
39:20
Physically walked over here. Oh.
39:23
If I was Wes, I'd be losing. He was.
39:25
He left angrily. He's like, I'm fucking not had
39:28
enough. He's like, I'm shirtless in a
39:30
fucking hospital like a weirdo. And why does Wes get 0 credit?
39:35
This man does is everything for her.
39:37
But she only cares when she thinks that different girls
39:39
interested in him properly. And I'm like.
39:41
Bitch, be for fucking real. Be for real you're.
39:45
Getting all the attention plus more than what you would
39:47
probably get from Michael from this one kid.
39:50
But anyway, their plot continues and she still wants Michael to
39:54
pick her especially for prom and then don't they go to a like
39:58
another party after that? I don't fucking know honestly.
40:02
It wasn't. It was before the prom, it was
40:04
the big hangout where and Michael invites her to the piano
40:07
room upstairs or whatever. The fuck yes.
40:09
And remember, that's when her she kind of like realizes that
40:13
she actually wants Wes because they're like not cuddled up
40:16
together, but they're kind of cuddled up together on the
40:18
floor, almost kissing. And she was like, oh, if like
40:22
all these other people were here, we weren't, we wouldn't
40:25
kiss. But then Wes is a fucking idiot.
40:27
And instead of rolling with it, he's like, actually I'm this is
40:30
my time to shine and go hit on Ashley and send him up to go
40:33
play piano on the top of the house.
40:35
Well, he was sticking to the original plan.
40:37
Yeah, because he is used to her doing this to him, so she's
40:41
always kind of dangling the carrot in a way.
40:43
So he didn't think anything was different.
40:45
Yeah. Because remember, they're
40:46
pretending they're sorta together in the group.
40:49
So he probably thought, OK, we're all yeah, we're watching
40:51
this movie in the kind of like, slightly dark movie room
40:55
together. But she still wants me to go
40:57
along with this. We're a nice.
40:59
System before or after the phone call where they were like are
41:02
you stalking me and stuff and they were watching like a movie
41:05
and talking on the phone. Yeah, I can't remember.
41:07
It's a weird timeline. They do lots of little non
41:10
dates, kind of. Yeah, because they even like sit
41:13
out the back of his house and he's smoking like cigars and
41:16
stuff too. That's when they establish their
41:19
special secret spot. And I'm like, Oh my God, get
41:23
married. Can't marry.
41:26
So Michael invites her up to the piano room and she's like, oh,
41:28
I'm not very good. And then starts playing a bit of
41:30
Adele. And then he was kind of like,
41:33
oh, it's, you know, it's it's quiet in this room.
41:36
But then the whole group comes in.
41:38
Yeah. And then she's like, oh,
41:40
because. And he's like, Oh yeah, it's
41:41
soundproof for downstairs, but not the room.
41:43
Next door was all out. And I'm fucking like.
41:45
I'm like but did they all just follow up the stairs and did
41:48
they all just creep up the stairs?
41:49
I don't think it was soundproof at all.
41:51
I don't know. Embarrassing I.
41:53
Think he was saying it's soundproof from downstairs but
41:55
they were in the same level so they did hear it.
41:59
I don't know what it was. And then Michael was low key
42:02
confessing that he likes. Her.
42:05
At that time. No, I think he was confessing he
42:07
likes Laney. But he was picking up what she
42:10
was putting down in the wrong way.
42:11
Yeah, because she already decided and she was like, well,
42:14
go for gold for Elaine or something, prom pose and stuff.
42:17
And then he was like, Ding, Ding, Ding.
42:18
Actually, I'm going to do it for.
42:20
You dumb fuck. I feel like he thought that she
42:23
was talking about him, though. Yeah.
42:26
And then that's where he 'cause she, she really wants to be
42:28
proposed to. Yeah, 'cause she was really
42:30
passionate about it and everything, but even they go
42:33
down to play like cards with humanity or something.
42:36
Yeah. Cards Against Humanity.
42:37
Yeah, Alex and Wes had buddied up and she's like spiralling
42:41
because Alex is a practically perched and wet Wes's leg.
42:46
Mm hmm. Which?
42:47
Which, like, duh, I was. Like this is just twisted.
42:50
I'm like this is all your fault from not read like the 10
42:53
million signs like I man even picked out your prom dress and
42:57
you still ignored him. Oh, the prom dress was next
43:00
level. Where was that before this
43:01
party? Yeah, well, where he was like
43:03
White's your colour, girl. When does wine any pale gingers
43:07
colour? Never.
43:08
But also he's hinting at I wanna marry you, bitch.
43:11
I know between the lines, that's what my thought was, so I'm
43:14
glad. You had this?
43:15
No, I was like ohh. Then they leave all of this.
43:17
They're cranky leaving the party.
43:19
MMM, because they've both fucking done two stupid things
43:22
and then they nearly die in a car crash.
43:24
MMM. And then immediately they're
43:27
making out in the car, covered in rain, having the best time of
43:31
their life. And then she's moving moment.
43:33
It's moving moment. It's her meet cute.
43:35
It's everything she's ever wanted.
43:37
She's locked in to this man. Now she's.
43:39
Like, oh. Shit, he actually cares that
43:42
much about me. She's in his lap, straddled.
43:44
Straddled. Making out his dad shows up, of
43:47
course, 'cause you know, you can't have your moving moment
43:49
with someone else ruining it. Ruining it, yeah.
43:51
And then the next day, Michael Prom poses to her and Wes is in
43:55
the back going like go. For it, this is where it.
43:58
All I was like you dumb fuck. Wait who are you calling a dumb
44:02
fuck Because it was Wes Mix? Both are different, yeah.
44:05
Because she hadn't had a chance to talk to Wes yet, because he'd
44:07
been avoiding her all day. He's there when she gets prom,
44:10
posed to, and he puts his thumb up and goes go for it.
44:13
And I'm like you should have said no.
44:15
Why was he avoiding her again? I don't know, I.
44:17
Didn't know if he was purposefully, but she got pissy
44:20
at him and that's why I can't remember.
44:23
He went along with the proposal. Something happened, I don't know
44:28
what it was. There was something that
44:29
happened. I don't have any notes for what
44:31
happened. And I'm Loki, can't remember,
44:33
but she. I think she was pissed.
44:35
Because she went off at him. I think she was pissy because he
44:39
told her to do it and she's like we kissed.
44:42
And he was standing next to, was it Ashley during the proposal?
44:45
Yeah. And he was just like, yeah, you
44:47
got what you wanted, girl. He's like, I got what I wanted,
44:49
girl. Proposal was embarrassing.
44:51
Yeah, disgusting. 'Cause wasn't she with her
44:52
friend, that she just. Wanted to, honestly.
44:56
Her fucking. Poor friend.
44:58
She got the Helena treatment her entire life, giving Mean Girls
45:02
when Katie gets brought into the popular group.
45:06
Yeah, and then she's just horrendous to Janice or whatever
45:09
the rest of the time. Yeah, because this poor friend
45:11
of hers, I don't even remember her name.
45:14
She just lied to her about everything for no reason.
45:16
Cancelled on her all the time. Cancelled instead of just saying
45:19
oh I was invited to the popular party.
45:22
Yeah. Just a total bitch.
45:23
And then she finally reconnects with her.
45:26
Then she gets a stupid proposal she wants.
45:28
Isn't that the point where the friend has just had enough?
45:31
Yeah, and the friend is like you said, that you liked Wes now and
45:34
now you got Michael doing the proposal or some shit.
45:37
She was like, she was going on a date with Wes or something.
45:40
She was leaving. Oh, no, it was when they were
45:42
going to the movie night and her friend showed up and was like,
45:44
look, you need to stop blowing me off for prom shopping.
45:48
And she's like, my mum wants you to organize it.
45:50
And Wes showed up and she's like, oh, going on a date with
45:52
Wes and she was like, I like Wes.
45:54
And then? Why is she like to everybody?
45:57
It doesn't make any sense. It's not that big of a deal.
46:01
The poor friend, because I think she was worried about being
46:03
judged by the friend. The friend literally told her to
46:06
leave it alone because she hadn't seen this man in years.
46:09
I'm like, she's correct. Leave him alone, leave him
46:12
alone. But since when does your friend
46:16
have to have the exact same opinion as you about everything
46:19
you know? Otherwise, they're not a real
46:21
friend if they're not gonna slap you around the face and say go
46:23
get a grip. Exactly what's the point?
46:26
But also, why are you now feeling bad for Laney after you
46:30
hustled for Herman? Exactly.
46:32
You went out of your way. I was like, that was vindictive
46:35
because of the mum situation. I was like, you only started to
46:37
feel bad when you realised her mum went on like when she was
46:41
saving to go on a mission trip, like be for real.
46:44
And Laney actually liked Michael.
46:47
Yeah. And didn't he kind of like her?
46:49
They were in a. Talking phase.
46:50
Yeah, so she said Nope, that's mine because he has good hair
46:53
and I want him to be my prom like.
46:54
Oh, he prom poses to her and then is depressed about it.
46:58
They go out to dinner and everything for the prom.
47:00
He's like eating dinner and he doesn't really want to talk to
47:03
her and stuff. And then she's like Laney sees
47:05
her in the bathroom and it's like oh, and tells her all the
47:07
shit her mum did and she's like Oh well you should go talk to
47:10
Michael. She's like, you can actually
47:12
have him now. Yeah, like why does she need to
47:15
give permission and. She's like I hustled for your
47:17
man so hard even though I knew from day one.
47:20
News we're talking. Not only that, I kind of stole
47:22
your promposal. She girl bossed too close to the
47:26
son, she girl. Bossed too close to the son.
47:28
And for what? She doesn't even want that man
47:30
because she only decided she wanted where's when Ashley
47:32
wanted him. Exactly, exactly exactly.
47:36
The joys of being a pic of me. Yes, the joys of being a dumb
47:39
bitch, honestly. Justice Fellaini, Justice for
47:43
the best friend and justice for Hellenia.
47:45
Hellenia, Hellenia. He's a Lizzy Bithier.
47:49
He's a. Bitch.
47:52
At this point where's like, I hope you know what you're
47:54
signing up for ohh. My God, but have a strophicness.
47:57
I'm like a justice for everyone around her as well, because then
48:01
she leaves the prominently and she sets up this whole date
48:04
thing and he's brung home that Ashley or Alex or whoever.
48:08
It was honestly because at the prom doesn't she hang out with
48:12
the best friend again and tries to like reconnect and then
48:15
spends time with her on the date Third wheels a little bit.
48:17
Yeah, her best friend had another date and he wore an all
48:20
denim suit and then another one of their friends, right?
48:24
The actual. She set up the mutual.
48:26
So she set them up and went OK, that's my karma fixed.
48:29
Yeah. For fucking my friend over for
48:31
an entire year. Great, I'm going home now.
48:33
And then she's like, I'm going to go home and.
48:35
Traumatize this other girl that finally and I got her drinking.
48:38
Not even that, she's like, I'm going to just somehow fix
48:42
everything. Why wouldn't you assume that the
48:45
girl would be coming back? It's.
48:46
Prom night. But.
48:48
She's panicking because she's like, if he sticks it in then
48:51
it's frivol. I'm.
48:53
Like just wait until the next day went over there with
48:56
breakfast. Like being for real.
48:58
No, but she doesn't want him to stick it in.
48:59
That's what she's so afraid of that he will have sex with her.
49:03
You can tell because she's panicking.
49:05
She's like, and then she went to the secret spot.
49:07
She like what wrote down all of her weird inner thoughts which
49:10
go. Put in a note.
49:11
Put it in the front. She had s'mores and shit ready
49:14
to go. Music.
49:15
This man's trying to get it in. Like, what are you doing, bitch?
49:20
He doesn't want marshmallows right now, OK?
49:23
He's not that one anyway. Not exactly.
49:25
He's trying to, like, bust a nut.
49:28
He's trying to, but he's done. He's he's what are you?
49:33
He's caught up with your shit for months, months, months, and
49:38
then she just kicks it like she just kicks everything over go.
49:42
I would have just left it. I would have ran.
49:44
The way that what didn't she like drop a penny or some shit
49:48
and she's like, oh, lucky penny. I'm out here.
49:51
Looking for it, bitch. Yes.
49:53
You're not. She lied and said I was looking
49:55
for my lucky penny and then she was like, you know when you just
49:57
really need that penny and you realise it's worth it?
50:00
And my son is like, I didn't. Manipulate him in the moment.
50:03
I'm like, OK, leave our secret spot because I'm down here too.
50:06
You don't get down. I would have done in the spot.
50:09
I would have done personally, instead of kicking everything
50:12
over, I would have changed, change some music to something a
50:15
little ugly and just sat there making smores and be like, hey
50:18
guys, I came home early and this is what I'm doing.
50:21
Literally. OK, what?
50:24
What would you change it to? Like Cardi B, the new song.
50:32
The new song where it's like tell your tell your mum.
50:35
She raised a bitch or something. What was it playing beforehand?
50:40
Some love song. Stop.
50:43
Life's down low. I don't know.
50:44
Oh my God, it's like Adele. Oh.
50:49
There's no way to recover. Put some pop anthems on.
50:52
I don't know it's. So rare to recover Awesome 2.
50:57
Thousands club music honestly just they're making smalls
51:01
they're not going to think anything different you could
51:03
just be like hey look I got really bored and I really wanted
51:06
smalls yeah but instead you're. Weird.
51:10
Is this? Technically in his yard or is it
51:13
like a shit? Yeah, so you fucking trespassing
51:15
bitch. I'd be like, oh what?
51:17
I couldn't. See it in the edge of the.
51:19
Fucking like she would have had to skip the fence.
51:22
I think she it's not in his yard, it's behind his yard, but
51:25
she has to jump into his yard to get to it.
51:28
I'm like, she had to physically. I would feel like, hey guys.
51:32
Like the rat, I. Would pretend to be smoking out
51:34
there just be like, hey, smoking some pot, had a bat?
51:37
Honestly got the munchies s'mores.
51:39
Squaws, I'm gonna go get some KFC guys, do you want some?
51:42
Honestly, Rat. Instead, she leaves.
51:45
Oh, not only that, Ratatouille. Add to her ratatouille.
51:48
She's wearing his jumper she stole.
51:51
Honestly. And it smells like the seed of
51:53
pine. Shit.
51:55
She's a. Psychopath.
51:57
Because why? She cherishes this.
52:00
Fucking pretty disgusting. Never been washed jumper.
52:05
Not only that, she's probably like he gave her her sports bag.
52:08
She's probably wearing the socks and the shoes.
52:10
Two others weren't like the. Jock straps don't.
52:14
Fucking short about Oh my. God helmet.
52:17
She's like. She's a baseball player.
52:20
Well, I don't. Know.
52:21
All the same. Same shit.
52:24
What if he was carrying S'mores ingredients as well?
52:28
Like to go down there with ash? What now?
52:31
Join it together, make a. Party like what do we do?
52:34
You're like, actually, let's make a smallest Nacho bowl.
52:37
I don't know. Delicious.
52:39
Ashley didn't give a fuck. She's like she's.
52:41
Just like. OK, do you need us to help you
52:43
find the lucky penny like and then worse is sitting there
52:46
like? The fuck?
52:47
Penny. For fucking real.
52:49
He's like, when did you ever have a penny?
52:51
Why are you in my yard? And what's with the weird
52:54
fucking opera music? Why are you clearly having
52:58
anxiety just asking all the real questions like OK can you leave?
53:08
Can you leave? She's actually in a wedding
53:09
dress with the hoodie over time. The only thing that could be
53:14
worse than the. Fucking hoodie was the Chuck's.
53:18
Wedding dress Chuck's hoodie I'm.
53:20
Wearing white though, yeah. Wearing white though, he's like,
53:23
this girl's actually fucking insane.
53:25
He's. Mental, mental.
53:29
Mental. He's probably like mental for me
53:31
though, so like he's like, that's my girl.
53:36
If it was Cardi B, I'd be like, actually go home.
53:39
I'm like, all right, we're about to get Turnt.
53:45
I. Like.
53:47
She's like, I actually raided your alcohol fridge.
53:50
That's the outside I've. Got the cigars with the weed.
53:52
Like, I mean, you know what? I'm going to pull out my best
53:54
plump. She's like I lied the.
53:58
Other night when I said I couldn't smoke.
54:00
Oh my gosh, she's like the cool girl hoodie fucking Chucks.
54:07
What else? Chocolate dripping down the
54:09
hands, weed in the other. She stole beer out of his back.
54:16
Honestly. She's still backed by curfew.
54:18
Though it's about time that she like, joined the party though.
54:21
Like it's about time she did some actual 17 year old
54:23
behaviour. But she didn't.
54:25
Obviously, because if anything that would be the most 17 year
54:29
old behaviour. And then didn't she just like
54:31
scamper off like this? Right she is she instead of
54:34
pausing the like music, she kicked like she'd boot.
54:38
Like you. Wasn't just.
54:40
Gonna fly. Wasn't even a wireless figure.
54:42
That bitch was an old school plug in.
54:44
Ohh no how has she got power down here?
54:47
What's extension cords? I'd be calling the police
54:49
thinking some homeless campus. Being set up in my backyard if I
54:52
was sister. Activity.
54:57
He's like, where's this fucking music?
54:58
Coming from all the time, there's Rat.
55:01
Activity that. Oh my God.
55:04
Fucking hell, I can't remember what even happens after that
55:07
bit. She.
55:08
Leaves to get McDonald's that's. Right.
55:11
Dead ass, dead ass, dead ass sits.
55:13
In the car eats it because she doesn't want to get out of her
55:16
car. Embarrassing.
55:17
Instead, she parks in front of their house, eating McDonald's.
55:20
Yeah, and. That's not weird.
55:22
And then they kiss in the front yard.
55:23
And then then a date. No, but he OK first of all he
55:27
knocks on the window and she's crying into her Mcflurry which.
55:31
She's dipping chips. She's dipping chips.
55:34
And she's like, I'll come back later.
55:37
He's like, I think he said I had enough of waiting.
55:40
He's like, I've been out here for 20 minutes waiting for you.
55:42
Yeah, he thought she was a normal person and was going to
55:44
just walk into her house. She's just like.
55:48
She doesn't even have a Mcflurry.
55:50
She's got like 5 big mats of Mcflurry and she's just she's
55:57
doing probably a mukbang or she's full mukbang crying.
56:01
She's like, hey guys. You know what's even worse?
56:04
It's probably not even McDonald's.
56:05
It's probably Hungry Jack's I'll.
56:10
So she's sitting there like which?
56:14
A lot of this was her fault. So like, what are you gonna do?
56:17
Cry, Have the Mcflurry and live another day like you live at
56:21
night. I was like, you're going to
56:22
college soon anyway. His penis will work tomorrow
56:26
like it's orange kind. I'm like, he's just getting in a
56:29
practice round it. Doesn't if that's if that's what
56:34
she believes it's like accepted. It's all good.
56:41
Something a motivational podcast.
56:44
It's all good, babe. Oh.
56:45
My God, you know what? We should do so.
56:46
What? Journey.
56:47
Have a disturbing. ASMR.
56:49
Motivational quote podcast. We'll just say deluded things
56:54
until get the girly. Pops falls we.
56:56
Should say deluded book? Quotes OH.
56:58
My God, yes, we should just say have plenty.
57:01
We should save. I'm up for the end of the year
57:02
and do like a ending year special.
57:05
Oh beautiful, we'll just have one ASMR episode, just randomly.
57:09
No prelude, it'll just be called and just be like, yeah, Squam,
57:15
you're gonna wake up in the slate just like, out of date.
57:18
Till like you have a date sort of phrases.
57:20
Hate them girls. Yeah, just be like your eyebrows
57:24
are on flake. Just like slightly out of drink
57:27
and. We can say offhanded quotes from
57:30
books. Yeah, like that means.
57:31
True, that's a lot of research. I read what I read a quote the
57:34
other day. No, just as we read them.
57:36
I read 1 the other day and it was like a man wrote a woman and
57:39
he was like she rolled her eyes and her breasts rolled at the
57:43
same time. Where?
57:46
Are they going? Are they leaving the chat?
57:48
How do you unlock that feature? I don't think I've had that
57:51
system update. I don't have enough boob to
57:54
roll. Like where are they rolling to?
57:57
South. Eventually.
58:02
Honestly can't wait. Can't wait.
58:05
Can't wait till we're just saggy and upset.
58:08
Living. Gels titties on the floor.
58:10
Good time knees. Puffy knees.
58:13
Knees. Rigid.
58:15
Just. Unworkable.
58:17
By the end of this book, I wanted to punch the author
58:19
because, you know, I hate a song selection.
58:23
But to be fair, this went with the plot though, so I'm gonna
58:25
give it a pass because, you know, I hate it when they put a
58:27
playlist. But this was.
58:29
Her passion. Also, let's be real, most
58:32
Walters are in fact older ladies.
58:36
Older, not old 40 year old ladies.
58:40
And I don't want to listen to what they're listening to.
58:44
Especially if it's the to do with teenage sex cults.
58:47
You know it's. Always.
58:49
Those books that have the playlist, I'm like, why?
58:52
Towards the end, the thing that did bug me, which it's a teenage
58:56
book so I'll give it a pass again, but and I understand it's
58:59
prom so everyone wants to be paired up, but this was very
59:02
heterosexual. Everyone has a perfect pair up
59:05
and I was just like that makes my eye.
59:07
Gaze. But also like it's just dumb not
59:10
everyone has a perfect match just waiting to.
59:13
Not all of them did. They all did groups.
59:16
A lot of them did friend groups. But I just feel like towards the
59:18
end everyone got paired up. It is a Romy.
59:21
Russell my Jimmies. That's it.
59:24
Wow. I mean, I liked it 'cause it was
59:25
something different. Honestly, I'm.
59:27
Not even mad about it. Honestly, sometimes you need to
59:30
read AY. A to something surface level.
59:34
Something cute, Yeah. Just give me something mid.
59:37
Don't get me wrong, I do love a good smut sometimes, but also I
59:41
don't wanna read about fucking every two pages.
59:44
Now you gotta have the tension and then the right.
59:46
Amount of sex I my favorite thing in books is tension, so I
59:49
feel like this book was 99% tension so I'm like it's fine
59:53
anyway. And it's hilarious because I do
59:54
this to myself all the time. But I want slow burn.
59:57
But I don't want to read a whole series, you know what I mean?
1:00:00
Like I want, I want them to be someone with someone wrong for
1:00:03
the burst and then play that all out.
1:00:05
But I don't want to read it anymore.
1:00:06
You would. Be horrified by Zodiac Academy
1:00:10
because it is a slow. It's like a bully enemies to
1:00:13
love. It's right but the slow burn is
1:00:15
like 7 books and it's not like 300 page books.
1:00:18
It's 700 page books and it just keeps going and going and going.
1:00:23
See, I kind of like that idea, but I would never put the book
1:00:25
in. Yeah, you know what I mean.
1:00:27
You don't read them over time. It's giving Lauren order SVU.
1:00:32
Grey's Anatomy. But you know how in Lauren Order
1:00:35
SVU, the main characters haven't got together and it's like 30
1:00:38
seasons long? Yeah, and they haven't even
1:00:40
finished the show yet, so they're questioning whether they
1:00:43
will or I will not. Watch.
1:00:45
I will not watch them. That's the.
1:00:46
Slowest burn in the history of the whole like universe of TV
1:00:49
show. Decrepit at that point they are.
1:00:52
They started in their 30s and they nearly.
1:00:53
Went to kiss, there was a preview for an upcoming episode.
1:00:56
They nearly went to kiss and then she goes.
1:00:58
I'm not ready, Ellie. Bitch, you're.
1:01:01
Nearly ready for the. Grave.
1:01:03
How are you not ready? Honestly.
1:01:06
If anyone. Out there.
1:01:09
You understand my pain. OK this.
1:01:11
Is the angst I want. I want them to be in the ground,
1:01:14
dusty. I'm like kind of a way where
1:01:16
they're like fucking bombs dead. Dead, Yeah, bombs.
1:01:20
Cancer. Insane kidnappings. 10 things
1:01:23
happening each episode. And I'm like, damn, slow down.
1:01:26
Honestly, I want to start watching Law and Order SVS from
1:01:30
scratch proper. See you never.
1:01:32
Literally bye bye I'll just go into my cave now and quit my
1:01:36
full time job. You'll never just watch it at
1:01:39
your full time job. Just put it up in the corner.
1:01:42
Oh. My God everyone would love that.
1:01:44
Just be like. Hang on just a minute.
1:01:47
Just. Hold, hold that thought.
1:01:49
We'll get back to it. What should we rate this out of?
1:01:53
Jock straps. Yes, why not?
1:01:55
Why not make it a bit spicy? I'm going to give it three out
1:01:59
of five jock straps just because it's exactly.
1:02:02
It was the perfect timing for me.
1:02:03
Yeah. I was like, this is what I need.
1:02:05
There's something low stakes but slightly irritating enough to
1:02:08
keep me listening. And Wes as a male character was
1:02:12
decent. Yeah.
1:02:13
He's not horrific, you know what I mean?
1:02:15
I'm also. Giving another 3 three out of
1:02:18
five jock straps. Yay.
1:02:20
We nice. Love, I love not being offended
1:02:22
by male characters. Honestly.
1:02:25
But it wasn't like, annoyingly fake male character, if that
1:02:30
makes sense. Like, too good to be true.
1:02:31
Yeah, I was like, oh, this is kind of weird.
1:02:33
He's. Still a little low key bullied
1:02:35
her. I feel like if I was to write
1:02:37
this book I would have made Wes just an absolute maniac, just an
1:02:41
absolute fuck boy, and I would have just ruined it for every
1:02:44
girl reading. No, because.
1:02:46
The. Whole point was he was in love
1:02:48
with me. No, but I.
1:02:49
Wanted to fuck it up? This book is the next one where
1:02:52
he used to listen to her play piano every day.
1:02:55
Yeah, he was this one. Yeah.
1:02:56
When he was a little kid, the dad exposed him.
1:02:58
Yeah, the dad. Really.
1:03:00
I was like, this man has been pining his entire life.
1:03:03
He's not. Really a fuck.
1:03:04
Maybe I've just read too many of those stupid bully teenage ones
1:03:07
that I'm just, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and I'm
1:03:10
like, Wes, what's going on? And it's not even his.
1:03:12
Case it's just him being good. Her little Wesley.
1:03:16
Wesley. That's remember how.
1:03:18
Like she was calling him Wesley. But that's because he asked her
1:03:21
to. Little wussy.
1:03:23
Little wuss, was his name. Western Wesley.
1:03:26
Wesley. Where's where?
1:03:28
We'll see. I.
1:03:29
Don't know what what would his name be?
1:03:32
Wesley. It was either Wesley or Western
1:03:34
I. Think it was Wesley.
1:03:36
Yuck. I'll don't be naming your kids
1:03:39
Wesley. Get in the car, Wesley.
1:03:42
Get in the car, Wesley Booth. So anyway, that's it.
1:03:49
Hey, yeah, thanks for joining us on Lose the Plot with Carla and
1:03:52
Emily. Don't forget to rate US five
1:03:54
stars and subscribe if you enjoyed slide into our DMS on
1:03:57
TikTok or Instagram Lose the Plot podcast.