Latest / The Bridges and Beacons Podcast / Emotional Intelligence: Becoming a Divine Feminine Leader with Dr. Brenda Brummond

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Emotional Intelligence: Becoming a Divine Feminine Leader with Dr. Brenda Brummond · The Bridges and Beacons Podcast

• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Mystic Nerd Squad podcast.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: I'm your host, Kelly Meyerson, and I am deeply honored and excited today to be bringing to you Dr.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda Rummond.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: And we are going to talk about her journey.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: But before we begin, I'd like to read you her bio.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: And it's only going to give us a little hint into who she is and what she's done in the world.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Dr.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda is a modern life and business coach who helps women in business get unstuck and out of their own way to unapologetic abundance and soul-aligned success for a life and a business that feels as good as it looks.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, I love this so much.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: That that feeling of harmony between everything, uh, that is so close to my heart too.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: So welcome, Dr.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so happy to have you here.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me, Kelly.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: And thank you so much to all of your listeners.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're we're thrilled to have you.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I will tell everybody there are times when I say to myself, I really wish I had recorded the pre-conversations that we've had, both when we spoke uh a little while ago to plan for today and just coming into the episode because uh Brenda, you had some really amazing things um to say about your journey.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I honestly felt like it could have been the the like score to an entire epic movie.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_03: So on that journey, where would you like to start to share a little bit of your journey to where you are today?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and take us into our topic today.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I would love to just kind of hit the high points of my journey because that's one of my favorite things when I get to hear other people talk or present.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: It means so much more when I hear where have they come from?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: What basis are they using to get to the point where they are right now today?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, just in a synopsis, I grew up in a fairly large family, second oldest of six in rural South Dakota, um, in the US, and I saw life as a struggle early on.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: We were pretty poor, my family lived off food stamps.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I really didn't understand why.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_02: I it was really confusing to me why it felt like some families have life figured out, they're doing well, they're thriving financially, and we were sort of stuck.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know, food was even hard to come by at times.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: My mom and dad were really young parents, so they the way they dealt with their stress in life was to, you know, go drinking with their family on weekends.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I saw alcohol as a problem.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, and a lot of that made me feel pretty invisible, to be honest.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I looking back now, I was a seeker from the moment I remember.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: I was always asking life's big questions, you know, who am I?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_02: Why are we here?
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: And back then it was why am I in this family?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: And why is my dad this way?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: And why is my mom this way?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Almost like I had an awareness beyond just little Brenda, the person.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's just almost like someone was sitting in the way background, kind of watching this whole thing unfold.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: And just sort of fast forward that we moved into a new school, bigger town, when I was going into middle school, and I was bullied.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: That freaked me out.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: I had never experienced anything like that.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: I literally thought girls didn't like me.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I kept girls at a distance my whole life up until just a few years ago.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: And so that was really difficult.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I ended up uh in a relationship fairly young.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: I met my boyfriend in eighth grade, which became my husband in college.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: And we got married and had my daughter, Kenzie, a year later.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the other weird things I noticed in my life was I was on that pendulum swing of feeling like, oh my gosh, why are we poor?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Why do we struggle?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't my parents struggle with drinking on weekends?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why, why, why are we doing all of this?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: Why was I bullied?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Why, why, why?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: So, all of that gave me this huge identity crisis where I literally just felt less than, not enough, the whole imposture syndrome.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: So, my solution as I looked around in the world was, you know what?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna figure out how to be super successful.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to have to depend on anyone.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: I shifted into perfectionism, which was like, what if I have the perfect body?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: What if I have the perfect career?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_02: What if I become a doctor?
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: And my uh, you know, marriage ended in a divorce with that husband about a year and a half later.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: We grew up to be two different people.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: Fast forward, I went to chiropractic school.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: I found the career that I thought would be amazing.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: Met my best friend in the whole wide world in chiropractic school, Dennis, who later we fell in love and then hit rock bottom together in our relationship, where I fell in love with him before he did with me.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: And it was this long road of you know, competing in bodybuilding fitness and partying with friends.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, you know, where was that going to go?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: And long story short, ended up being addicted to party drugs.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: I had found out Dennis had been cheating on me.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was addicted to pain medication.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: It was just like my whole life was crumbling.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: I thought I was like being this perfect person and trying to have the perfect body, the perfect career, the perfect everything.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it was just like my whole world fell in on itself.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_02: And at that point, it felt like the biggest identity crisis ever.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Where I sat down and thought, who in the hell am I here?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: How did I get here?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: What's going on?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: What's the message?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: What am I supposed to learn from this?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then my life just sort of had like one amazing miracle and awakening and spiritual experience after another.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: My fiance at the time, Dennis, had a near-death experience, an overdose, and this whole realization.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: I started getting visions of our future and things that were going to happen.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then we've just been sort of building this whole, you know, journey together of a personal development company and saying, gosh, what's next?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: What's next?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: We need to teach people what we've learned.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, for a long time I didn't know how to forgive him from the cheating and all of that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: And when I realized it wasn't about him, it was about me.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: I finally could look at things in a different way and then choose again for myself.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so as the story fast forwards, you know, we have four more children together.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I became passionate about helping my patients with their struggles, mental, emotional, and all of that.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then I gravitated towards women in business because I felt like that was me.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: I was an entrepreneur, I was, you know, owned my own practice and wanted to become successful, but not just because of success.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: I wanted to, you know, be able to grow and expand and evolve in all ways of life.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't feel like we should, you know, exceed in one area, but then not in others.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, uh, you know, if my whole theory is all has been given to all.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_02: So if that's the case, I want to experience the best of everything to the fullest capacity that I possibly can.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: And if the universe is giving me everything at all times, to the degree that I'm not experiencing maximum joy, love, abundance, appreciation, kindness, compassion, all of that, it's gotta be me that's getting in my own way.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so that has led me on this crazy journey to keep getting more and more of me out of the way and help more and more women get themselves out of the way and experience everything life has got to offer them.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's so it's such an incredible story.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_03: And there are so many moments where someone else might have been like, This, I I give up.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: This is it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: I can't, I can't push forward more, I can't do more.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's such an incredible story of survival and rising above and rising above.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna overcome this and I'm gonna overcome that.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: I think the really cool thing about that, because I'm sure you feel the same way I do when you have these moments in your life where everything falls apart.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_03: The thing that feels the best when you're recovering and pulling it all together is the knowledge that someone else is gonna have it just a little bit easier because you went through it and you figured out the way out.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_03: Does that resonate with you?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: So much.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So much so.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: So how, how, how do you keep finding that piece that pushes you forward?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: It sounds like when you were young, you were already aware and observing the world and curious, like what is going on here?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: How is this all working together?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: So it sounds like it's a gift, it's something that's always been with you.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I really felt that way.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: I even felt that way about the first major death I experienced in my family, which was my grandpa, my dad's dad.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember specifically at the funeral, it was like the traditional Catholic, Catholic funeral, and we walked outside and they would bring the casket literally over the grave, and they would start to lower the grave and or the casket into the ground.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: And I remember looking down as that was going on, and I knew I knew like I knew, like I knew this world isn't always as it appears to be.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: Because I knew I just talked to my grandpa not too long before that, and now all of a sudden it's like boom, he fell over and there's no more grandpa.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like that can't be right.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, I think I was just a big questioner all the time.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so much so that my parents, you know, it actually became a hindrance, I think, in my family because my mom and dad had no clue how to answer a lot of the questions that I had.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: And it kind of made me feel like a weirdo.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: And um, and I felt like again, why, why, why, where are the people with the answers here?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: But I was in the middle of my own story, and so I think along that path, what gave me the courage is knowing that there's something more going on than I could realize or understand in each moment, and knowing that that something more that was going on was going to also lead me and guide me in my own life.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: Because if things don't make sense to me, then I feel like there's a dot dot dot to be continued because, you know, through my own, you know, I was head over heels in love with science, which I love that aspect about your podcast.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so science made so much sense to me.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, I became a chiropractor and loved the nervous system and and biology and physiology and cells and embryology and how they grew and how a human body was formed, and it was like magical and miraculous.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: But yet there was only so much that that could explain when your grandpa's being lowered into the ground in a casket, and you're just like, okay, science appeared to have left here.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: So what else is there?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where spirituality really came into mind for me.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: And that my my biggest shift there was through a book called A Course in Miracles.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I want to talk about that because uh you have a really cool approach to making that more accessible.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: So why don't you share a little bit about that?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: I think this is such a cool thing that you do.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: So at my lowest of lows, when I sat in that frustration of what in the hell is going on, um, you know, what that made, what about that made sense to me was that Brenda, to the extent that she knew herself to be, was no longer the person or brain that I could go to for my answers.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: So there had to be something else that I could go to.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: And through a series of events, you know, it was first actually my husband fiance at the time said, Oh my gosh, I'm hearing everyone quote this book called A Course in Miracles.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: Can you get it?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_02: And so we ordered it.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: He started looking at it.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: It didn't make a whole lot of sense to him at first until he had his next kind of spiritual awakening.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then he loved that book.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like he just read it every day so much so that when we were having all of our children, I would be like, Dennis, put that damn book down and get over here and help me change diapers.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and then all of a sudden, our third child that um was born, Bo, there was something, you know, in a course in miracles that says, When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: And there was something in one particular day that when I sat back in my chair and I opened a course in miracles and started going through the daily lessons, it was almost like that point in time where I was at my rock bottom prior to that, where I knew I had to let go of the thinking brain, Brenda.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: And this knowledge sort of came in.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I could read a course in miracles like I never could have before, for it was so deep and so I'm like, what the heck is it talking about?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Where is it going there?
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yeah, it's just been sort of a um a guidebook that my husband and I have used now for many years.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: I use it with all of my clients in my life and everything that I do.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the things I noticed is I would tell my clients and friends and anybody who wanted to grow personally, I would recommend they get a Course in Miracles.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_02: But like most people, a Course in Miracles was too deep for them, also.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then they get the book and it would sit on their shelves and do nothing.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, oh gosh.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_02: So my husband and I talked and we said, why don't we start recording a little short daily lesson, one lesson for every day of the year following the format of a course in miracles?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: We'll read the lesson, we'll explain what the lesson means to us.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it says in a course in miracles, everyone is on their own curriculum.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: So we don't pretend to know all, be all or any of that.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: We're still kindergartners with it ourselves, but it appears that we've learned enough that when I sit down and share a lesson with someone from the way I understand it, someone that couldn't understand a thing about it, all of a sudden their eyes get huge, they become silent, and they just feel something come over them.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, yes, like that is what I'm getting out of it too.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I just wanted it more accessible and understandable for more people.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: So we created this Course in Miracles simplified, and now it's become an app and people can start listening to the lessons on the daily and let it do them and you know, let the miracles unfold for them like it has for me.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that is really, really cool because I think that that can often happen with a lot of this material, whether you're looking at it from the science perspective or the spirituality piece of things, that some of these topics can become so complex that making them more accessible for people is such a huge service in the world.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: I I think that means a lot for me as a I'm an occupational therapist.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's my background.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and similarly, I've done a lot of studying of the nervous system, working with children primarily with managing their nervous system so they can function better in school and home in the community.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_03: So um understanding the sensory system and understanding before like parasympathetic and sympathetic were just like normal words that people use, or even before like fight or flight was something that people really understood.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've always loved being able to give someone the gift of understanding how their body works and taking away that feeling of there's something wrong with me.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: The fact that people, you know, go into anxiety is there's nothing wrong with you.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's the primitive part of your brain that's just trying to keep you safe and doesn't know the difference between a black bear is charging you and you're stressed about sending an email.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's the same system that responds to the stress.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think that's such a great service to people.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: So um, you know, making any of this more accessible, I know you feel like I do that it's it's a time of really bringing everyone together and rallying our positive energy and positive practices to really change the planet.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: So tell me a little bit about your approach to working with women, because I think it's really effective and remarkable.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: So when I work with someone, I at the beginning of my journey, I thought it was just that I had read so much and studied so much.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm one of these people, I'm sure, like you, where it's just like you can't get enough information and knowledge.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: You're just reading, you're listening to such wise people and mentors.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, we just follow along in the path and we absorb so much.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought for a while I was just learning these things and kind of turning around and using that same exact thing with someone else and just helping them grow.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: But what I started to understand is that there was such an intuitive side of me that I could take all of that and the intuition of what was just a divine download in the moment with a client, or I may be getting ready in the morning or driving my kids to school, and here comes another divine download for that client.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so I really begun to trust those downloads before I thought, oh, it's just a coincidence, oh, it's just, you know, who knows?
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: That was just a lucky guess or whatever.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I sit down with a client, there's just this sort of um, I kind of call it a tried and true format that I love to follow with my clients, but it's such an organic process when they come to me and I hear what their goals are, and then I get a vision of not only where they want to go based on what they've said, but what is possible and true for them.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I just feel it in my body, I feel it in my bones, I feel it in my heart.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: It just I takes on this whole wild visual experience within me.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I just start removing with them, removing any of the resistance, any of the interference that I see coming up in them, always somehow in the name of fear, whether it's uncertainty, doubt, uh, imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, whatever it is, we just keep pulling back the layers.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: And my explanation to them is that, you know, the universe in this very moment is rushing towards you with everything above and beyond anything that you could possibly imagine of all goodness in your life right now.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so the only thing we have to remove is any of the rate limiting steps, any of the blocks, any of the interference, just like we did in chiropractic, we removed interference in the nervous system.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's like I remove interference in the energetic system, whether it's emotional intelligence, energetic intelligence.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then as we work and progress, it's like then they're not working on all of the things outside them to have that happen.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: It starts to happen and come about on its own because we're removing the resistance.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, I love this so much.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I can say it it's so effective because even just working on my own self, that where that resistance is, when you figure out how to just like overcome that little piece, that's when everything changes and gets more beautiful.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, more beautiful.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: And as I always love to say to women in business that you're sitting on a pile of gold right now.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're absolutely sitting on a pile of gold.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's just a matter of becoming so aware and so open and so allowing that you would be able to receive it and it will just show up in the most amazing ways.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: I love that you talk about emotional intelligence too, because there's such a strong parallel between having emotional intelligence in like the traditional business sense in in work, but it's also such a huge piece of the spiritual work.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_03: So tell me how is it that you got so into emotional intelligence specifically?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's it happened to me personally, to be honest, which is sort of the way that I love things to happen and to flow.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Instead of me saying, oh my gosh, there's this thing out there now called emotional intelligence.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_02: It was just, I think through the downloads, through the the revelations I was seeing my clients had, through all of the work that I do with myself, I just saw everything more so now from an energetic perspective.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I could see that, oh my goodness, if we can increase and expand the capabilities, the capacity, the sort of energetic blueprint that we're all putting out in the world at any given time, then that would allow us to be able to receive everything that we desire.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: So what I saw is almost everything is attached somehow to our mental emotional restrictions.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I looked at how do women respond to a tough situation in their lives?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: How do we respond to, you know, maybe a confronting situation?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, where are we not using our voice?
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Where are we not speaking up?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: Where are we not saying what we say and meaning what we mean?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, where are we not being able to emotionally process and sit with fear, doubt, uncertainty and actually look and see what is the wisdom that's trying to come in with that?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_02: And if there isn't wisdom, if it's just blanket fear, how do we process that to be able to know that in every move we make in our lives, that we're always here to look for the for you, for me, for us, the win, win, win.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: And if we start operating from that with our children, with our partners, with our businesses, then you have only the whole universe behind you saying, go, go, go.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yeah, that's where I saw this way of being in the world for women that was, you know, I even call it human intelligence.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, gosh, if we're, if we all want to get to wherever we want to get to, I think we all have to increase our capacity, not for just academic intelligence, but that emotional, heartfelt, soul full intelligence.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: And when you marry the two, like the wisdom with the emotional, it just brings out this, you know, like uh you talked about allowing someone to shine a light so much brighter than they ever knew was possible.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: And it all comes about by working on that emotional intelligence.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Where am I getting stuck?
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Where am I getting in my own way?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: Where do I not trust myself or have the confidence?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: And where am I lacking trust in the universe?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: And how can I get in alignment with body, mind, soul, service, the way I show up in the world, the way I respond to people, uh, the way I care for others.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: The more that's in alignment, the more you are giving off this light beam of yes, yes, yes to everything you desire.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that sounds so good.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: I love it so much.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think that that's so true.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_03: I I think too, there's so much conditioning and so much of our lives lived up here and not in our body.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, I know I can speak for myself.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know, when I was dealing with perfectionism, um feeling like an imposter, people pleasing, codependency, all of those pieces of who I actually created an identity around.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like this is who I am.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: I can remember I was, I think it had to be somewhere around maybe 2008.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_03: I was reading a book.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it's actually by Brene Brown.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's one of her earlier books.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's called I Thought It Was Just Me.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: And it's basically about being codependent and has all these stories about different people.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I was reading it and I was like, oh my God, this is me.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_03: This is me.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_03: This is how I am, and this is how I operate in the world.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: And I always thought I was being good, kind, nice, you know, taking care of other people.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_03: I really truly believed, and my conditioning was that I'm supposed to take care of everybody, but not in a genuine way, like with every ounce of my body and blood and sweat and tears, so that there's literally nothing left for me.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so I think the idea shifting to if I take care of myself, my availability for everything and everyone is, you know, unlimited.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_03: The the untapped potential is there.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: Do you find that as well?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, absolutely.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: I talk about that with clients all the time.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: I talk about balance in the universe and the natural laws of the universe and how the universe does not like when you're giving more to someone else, then you are allowing yourself to receive.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's that kind of loop in A Course in Miracles where it calls it holy communion, where I see you, I'm offering you, I'm being of service to you from a clear place, I should receive a feedback loop from that that just feels so good and you know, so fulfilling.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: And if I'm doing it any other way than that, where oh my gosh, and I so relate because I am a recovering people pleaser myself.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when I give, give, give to other people and there's nothing left for me, the universe is not going to reward me.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not, you know, going to get this uh, you know, uh gold medal for that because there's no balance in it, there's no harmony in that.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: And emotional intelligence has everything to do with balance and allowing and receiving, giving and receiving, keeping our lines of energy and communication squeaky clean and really in alignment with who we're meant to be and seeing other people for their truth as well.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, that just totally hit me so hard when you said the universe is not going to reward you for being out of balance.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yes, it's just further evidence.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_03: No, this is not working.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: This does not feel good, this is not work good.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_03: Try again.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: This is not working.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: I never thought about it that way.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for that.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's like pulling everything together for me, that idea, you know, always feeling like, why is nothing working out?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_03: Why isn't this working out?
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I was gonna say too, when I was uh 28, um, I I got married when I was 24 and divorced when I was 29.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_03: So when I was 28, having a lot of problems, and I had this intervention from the universe.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: I was having a panic attack because my ex-husband didn't come home when he was supposed to come home and I didn't know what happened, if he was okay, he wouldn't respond to me.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I just remember sitting there with my heart pounding in my chest, and I was like, I'm gonna have a heart attack.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I just don't even know what to do.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_03: And the universe stepped in and just stopped it and said, I had this voice in my head that said, What would your life be like if it wasn't like this?
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: I need you to visualize that right now.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I did.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: And many of the things that I visualized came to be.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and that was such an amazing gift of like, you need to pivot and change this, and you need to change you.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: And so much of the healing that I went through was finding the ways that I was responsible for my own path and what I had chosen and how I had acted, and that I drew that relationship to me because of my non-alignment.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_03: So I can look at it now as such a gift because it was the universe that was like, okay, you were just spunning out, spun out so much, we gotta just stop, pivot, go this way.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, that's what it made me think of when you said that.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that was not working.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, not working, not working.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so funny how in this world though, like you talked about earlier, we're so conditioned, you know, we're so conditioned to seek, to struggle, to strive, to, you know, bang your head against a wall to figure it out.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: And the harder you work, the the more the result will come.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's so much of what we'll fall back on.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, that's our default.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, I've looked at that over and over again at the ways I've done that in my life, especially in my past, and thought, you know, the struggle should tell me something isn't quite right there.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_02: And so there's a way to move, to shift, to pivot, to change, to get into better alignment with this.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then it should be easier, which is the better, more normal flow of things.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_03: I think the greatest thing about that is that being not in alignment is just information where you need to make a change versus like you're wrong, you're doing it wrong, you know, and fee all those feelings of inadequacy that can so easily come in with the conditioning that so many of us as girls experienced.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that is, you know, it's just at my son's um soccer game this morning, and it was funny that one of the moms sitting to the left of me, we were talking about soccer, and I said, you know what's funny?
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I my husband and I would laugh a lot about if there were more women with the way a lot of women think about life, if they were referees, it would probably be a whole different game.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: It would be like, well, no, you guys have had enough points.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_02: Now it's time for you guys over here to have a chance and well, a penalty.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna warn you this time, but next time it will be a penalty.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I was just thinking about the ways we women, and a lot of times such graces are given to us as women, but also, you know, anything that can be used to your benefit, the ego will absolutely take and use against you.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, where are we in those ways where you know we're we're not moving in the best direction, we're struggling harder than we need to, we're giving way too much than what feels right and normal to us.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yeah, that's when it so much courage is needed for us to stop, pause.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_02: I call it the golden pause with my clients, like, wait, what's not working here?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: And what do I need to do to shift?
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love that.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I love that you brought in the piece of the ego because sometimes we think the ego is our internal compass and is pointing us in the right direction.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: And we get a lot of feedback that might feel good in the moment, like I that righteous rage that, you know, this this is happening to me, and like we can make that our fight and like go to battle for the thing that's really not meant for us or good for us.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that's so true.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's such a good reminder for us to just check in.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_02: I I that was one of the most questions I heard often from women is they would say, you know, how do I know when my soul is trying to guide me or the ego is trying to trick me?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_02: And created a whole free guide now that I offer women about that because that's exactly knowing that difference shifts everything.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, and I love, and actually that will be in the show notes.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_03: I saw that and I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to check that out.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because it's it's very easy to get tricked because it slips in and it talks to us in the language that we've experienced in the past, and it feels like it's you know, like Jiminy Cricket coming in with some good information for us, but often it's it's really in disguise, trying to make us feel so much in that that um that human sense, like we're in the right.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: And that feels very affirming.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my goodness, that is absolutely the best way of putting it.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: It is so sly, it is so sneaky, and uh like I said, it knows the things that are the best, like our strengths and it knows our weaknesses, and it uses them against each other, against ourselves, against other people.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_02: We project onto others, and you know, that ends up being a really deep topic.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: I talk to clients uh about who are ready to go that deep, and that's another level of emotional intelligence.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it's really becoming your own detective at knowing and understanding how the ego works in our lives and specifically in our own lives, so we can, you know, watch it and become aware of it, and that way it doesn't take us over.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: And you're right, as soon as it takes us over, man, we will we will fight to the death to be proven right, to be proven better, to be proven somehow more or greater than other people.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I I love what you said earlier about creating those win-wins and being able to take a pause in the moment when when our ego is ready to be like, let's go, let's go, we're gonna prove her right.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_03: And you're like, wait, I'm fighting against somebody who I love, and we want to have the same outcome.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_03: So, how do I make this a win-win in the moment and taking a pause, like you said?
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm gonna encourage everyone to hit the show notes and check out that free tool from Dr.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I would love for you to share with us because I'm sure our listener is saying to themselves, oh, I've been waiting for somebody like Dr.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_03: I want to know how do I get myself into her world?
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_03: How can people connect with you?
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_03: Where can they find you?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_03: And what do you have going on right now that people can um work on with you?
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think the best place to go would be my website, which is brendabrum.com.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_02: So that's B-R-E-N-D-A-B-R-U-M-M-O-N-D.com.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I have most of my offerings listed there.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: My app, of course, the Miracle Simplified, is there.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_02: I also have an ongoing program I invite any woman into called the School of Self-Worth.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I also have a podcast with my husband that we just started, the very first few episodes called Modern Spiritual Power Couples, where we just love to show people how we communicate and how we talk, knowing all of the things that we do about all of you know the ego versus what it's trying to do in our lives and how it's trying to take us over and how we can rise up and become better humans.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so we wanted to give people that sort of outside look in at our own relationship.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: And now we're going to start bringing other couples onto the podcast.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, we're not all made alike, thank goodness.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so, how do other people become their own greatest version of themselves?
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_02: And how does it work in their relationship?
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: So we'll be doing that soon.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, and so I am on social media, but I'm on Instagram and Facebook, and that's under Dr.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: Brenda Coaching.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_02: And once in a while I love to pop in a miracle Monday where people can hear me explain a lesson from a course of miracles and share that with them to helpfully, hopefully help them get on track in their lives.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, right now I'm doing a lot of one-on-one coaching with women, and all the details are on my website for that.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: Ah, I love that.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_03: So make sure you head down to the show notes and find all those ways.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, follow Dr.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda on social media so you can be there when she does her special miracle Mondays.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_03: I have had such a great time listening to you talk.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: That podcast sounds phenomenal.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_03: You're kind of recreating what a power couple really is for this next era in life.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I want to thank you, listener, for being here with us today.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and make sure you go and check out Dr.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_03: And I appreciate you for being here, Dr.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_03: Brenda, and telling us all about your past.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just floored by the combination of spirit and science.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_03: So totally geeking out on this.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna have to go back and listen to the show, not being the person who's interviewing you, so I can take it all in again.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but it was so wonderful to have you here.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I would love to have you back anytime to give us more of your wisdom.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I'm sure you all are feeling the positive energy and just the potentiality for all of us to exceed our own dreams.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you so much.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_03: Any last words for our listener?
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh well, first of all, thank you so much for having me, Kelly, and thank you for all the work that you're doing in the world.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like exactly how you do that this is a time now for all of us to look at things differently, to look at ourselves differently, to rise up in a way that maybe we never have before, but that is inherent to us, and that we do have that pure potentiality just sitting there inside of us, waiting to be activated.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and thank you to the listeners for your time today.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but one last quote I'll leave from A Course in Miracles that feels so true in all of the ways that I love to support women.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_02: It says, it's not that we ask for too much in life, it's that we ask for far too little.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's such a delicious way to end it.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_03: So you heard it here first.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_03: Ask for more.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_03: Ask for the sun, the stars, and the moon.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: And don't be surprised if it works out for you.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_03: Well, thank you so much for being here.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, everyone, for listening.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: And we look forward to seeing you next time on the Mystic Nerd Squad podcast.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_03: Have a good one, everybody.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_03: Bye now.