Latest / Midlife Rising / 38: What the Wellness Industry is Missing About Midlife

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38: What the Wellness Industry is Missing About Midlife · Midlife Rising

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Midlife Rising Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a Midlife woman, I want you to stop and listen to this.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to hear it.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: The life you're living is either slowly draining you or it's bringing you alive.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Let that sink in.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: The life you're living is either slowly draining you or it's bringing you alive.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Jen and I have been delving deeper into why most midlife women are not living a life that truly lights them up, even though it might look like a good life on paper.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: We touched on this, we we talked about this quite a bit actually in episode number 36.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: But today we're going to take it like 10 levels deeper.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of this episode, you will see exactly what each of the physical wellness industry, the emotional one, and the spiritual wellness industries, what they're missing, why they're missing the mark on leading you to create your happiest, most aligned, even most extraordinary life.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if that's got you curious, stay tuned.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: You're a woman over 40 who spent your life being the one who holds it all together.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: But now your body's changing and your soul is done pretending everything is fine.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Midlife Rising.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're your hosts, Sherry and Jen, twin sisters and modern medicine women, here to help you rewire your stress response, balance your hormones, and reclaim your feminine power.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Every episode is a rebellion against the rules you never agreed to and a return to yourself.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Join us where midlife isn't a crisis, it's a catalyst.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Midlife Rising podcast.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Jen, we have started talking about something that I find really, really fascinating.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it's this idea that most midlife women are not living a life that lights them up.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And why is that?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you and I started talking about this on episode number 36, two episodes ago, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because we keep hearing from women that they want to really experience life again.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're kind of just living on autopilot or going through the motions.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And there's all kinds of things that you and I have noticed that the kind of midlife industry, the health industry, the wellness industry, they all talk about these three things, but they're not going quite deep enough.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: There's something still missing because we're not living a life that really lights us up.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're not living extraordinary lives.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And not everybody, for sure, some people are.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And by extraordinary or a life that lights you up, like I don't, I don't mean a flashy life.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like somebody said to me recently, I had a friend who said to me, Well, what's wrong with a mediocre life?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of thought to myself, well, how do you define mediocre?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is it you if it's mediocre to you, then that's not living a life that lights you up.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: But if mediocre just means like a life that just is, you know, it's not flashy.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like celebrity, it's not millionaire, it's not, and it doesn't have to be.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like that to me isn't, you know, you can just be living a life that lights you up, but from the outside, you know, somebody else might look at that and go, I don't want that life.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: But if it lights you up, it's extraordinary.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to live a mediocre life.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, you'll remember it.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I used to have this, I was in this relationship.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the reasons why I was so attracted to this person was he was always inspiring me.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things he would always say to me was, you don't want to live a mediocre life, do you?
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that immediately would set a fire under me.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be like, no, I don't.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to, I mean, I want to change the world, but and it doesn't mean flashy.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: It means I want, yeah, I want to live a life that really sparks my passion and inner fire.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And the problem, Cher, is that we get all this advice in midlife.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's all, and that is supposed to give us this a better life.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And each one of these things that we've identified as like these three sort of categories of advice, and they're all missing something.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what we really want to do today for our listeners is get into these three areas, these three parts of the industry and what they're sh what what they're what they're missing.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this is a part two of a three-part series.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it's an add-on.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So we talked about living an extraordinary life in episode 36, and we're gonna dive deeper today.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think what's really exciting, Jen, for us and is that what we talked about even two weeks ago has now, or two episodes ago, has now evolved.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like we've done more research and we've uncovered more about how we're different and what we've uncovered about the industry out there.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And we've really started to form this into a framework that is gonna help our listeners see where they're at and see a path towards where they actually want to go.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: So where where do you want to start, Cher?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do you wanna do you wanna just get into what the industry is telling us?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start with let's start with the physical.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is the, this is like the health industry.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: So this is the, there's so many podcasters and influencers and options for living a longer life.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Longevity is a big word these days.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And health span versus lifespan is big.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And biohacking, like how often do you hear the word biohacking these days?
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not as much, but um yeah, definitely in our world, it's like health span, which which means like it used to be about longevity, like how old can you live to?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like we were trying to, you know, raise the the mortality or the age of mortality.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's like, well, I don't want to live that old if I'm not gonna be healthy.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're saying is, but I don't want to live that long if I'm not happy.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: So actually, Jen, let's just take a step back and really briefly recap what it feels like to not be living an extraordinary life.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we touched on this two episodes ago in episode 36.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: So this is kind of a part two.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: But let's do a quick recap.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: So what we hear, some of the words that we hear from our clients is I'm just going through the motions.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm on autopilot.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm exhausted, is what we hear all the time.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: And for like for me, I was like this too a couple years ago.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I felt just flat.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't feel big emotions in either direction, positive or bad.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just this, and it was sort of like a depression.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just really felt like I was like, wow, is this like, is this my life now?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is all it's gonna be.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I I think that's pretty common, Jen.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I would echo that.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that I would have like I I agree.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: I was probably using those words, like, is this all there is?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yet I was looking at my life going, like, you know, we make decent money, we have a comfortable home.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: We several.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I I like my life.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: We do.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I like my life.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So what, like, what is it that's missing?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I not feeling lit up?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And what what our client, what we've seen is that women tend to they start to test things, like looking for something else.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: So they might start like a new hobby, a new yoga class, pick up golf.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and they're they're trying new things, thinking that that's going to make their life feel more full.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Without actually figuring out what it is they truly want first.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so they're just kind of still going through the motions because they're like just then going to a hobby that they're not actually that lit up by.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked about, I think we talked about this on the last episode.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was doing that.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was a bit like throwing spaghetti at the wall.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I should like do something that is more meaningful if I'm not finding meaning in my job at the time.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna go volunteer.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then those volunteer opportunities did not like those didn't feel aligned.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't feel, they didn't light me up.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't, they were good causes, but they weren't what really felt like they lit my soul up.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think that gives a good picture of what it feels like when you're not living in alignment.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, the the a big portion of our show and and what we talk about is physical symptoms of menopause and perimenopause.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And those are things that can also keep you from an extraordinary life.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't feel great, if you're tired all the time because you're not sleeping, if you're having hot flashes all the time and so you're uncomfortable, or you're like I had one friend who had periods that were so heavy, she couldn't go, like on when she was on her period, she couldn't go anywhere.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: So those symptoms are also going to keep you from a happy, meaningful, fulfilling life as well.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So there is something to be said for that.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like your health is going to influence your happiness and vice versa.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we're not saying that your health isn't gonna help you live a more aligned life, but that industry is missing something.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get into the body.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm noticing is in the this, in the health industry or the physical focused industry, is that they're they're focusing on optimizing everything.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's all about, so it's it's always like optimizing your health, optimizing your fitness.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's like there's this sense of like I have to get the most out of this workout.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's you can't just go for a walk, and that's part of your health regime.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's this sense of like there's a a pressure or an urgency around optimizing.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: I see what you mean.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Cause there are lots of there's lots of advice saying like get out and go for a walk, but you're right.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: I do, I do see that too like a pressure.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's the biohacking, which is also well, it's like hacking to me is like the shortcut.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or it's like finding the it's a heuristic.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: The way it's it's like by a bypass.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So examples of biohacks are red lights.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like the red, the infrared, like put something on your face.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And um like the infrared, there's masks, there's lights like that can cover your whole body, there's lights that you can shine on your face.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it's, you know, you're getting you're biohacking, you're you're getting basically everything that the sun already provides in a quick hit.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: So like all the collagen stuff would be like that too.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: So rather than going out and spending 20 minutes going for a walk in the sunshine, you spend five minutes with a thing on your face, and that's a it's a shortcut.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's a a way to get that that Yeah.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because we need to do everything so efficiently these days because we don't have time to do anything, to enjoy life.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: So so what's one more example?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Anything really could like there's so many things that could be.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like a supplement can be a biohack instead of eating, you know, like AG1 or those green drinks or things like that are going to give you your full set of vitamins in one drink.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: A whole day to do one drink.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And a protein, you know, like there, there's companies adding protein to cold coffee brews to it.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Just sounds so disgusting to me.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know it doesn't really sound very good to me either.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I saw it the other day, I was shopping yesterday in the health food store and it was this protein coffee mix.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just going, that can't taste good.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: But maybe it does.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know people who drink it and they but that's a biohack.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's that's instead of sitting down and having a well-rounded meal that you cook for yourself, you know, like some protein, some vegetables, maybe a starch, your biohack, like you're getting your protein on the go while you can drink it, or your green drink, you know, your AG1 or your vitamin, your green mix, you know, get it all in one shot instead of like that's gonna overcome all the other vegetables you should have, or like our Paleolithic ancestors would have eaten in the day.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're hacking and and it's a shortcut.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's bypassing what is actually going to improve your health.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: So what is that what is it missing?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like so, and some of the, I mean, I know some of them do work.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have felt really good on certain supplements.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't have time, then absolutely those things are good.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you're not eating healthy, then absolutely drink a green drink just to get something in.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, to me, there's two things, Jen.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: One of them is you're missing the joy of living life, of going out and having that walk in the sunshine and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: I did that this morning.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was freezing cold, like below below freezing.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: But the sun was so nice after a whole week of rain.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I could have sat and sat, I don't have a red light, but I could have like sat inside and spent five minutes in front of the red light, but it felt so much more joyful to me to go outside and spend half an hour in the sun or eat a really great meal and take your time over eating it and paying attention to what you're eating instead of eating in front of the TV or and like really enjoying good food.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like at every meal, you know, like a lot of people like eat at their desk through lunch.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And admittedly, I do that too sometimes.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I also love it if I've made some good food for lunch to actually stop and enjoy it.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: So biohacking to me is more of a it's supplementary.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: It should be used as a supplement to a good quality life.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, we're using it to be more efficient, to get through.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we're missing out on an extraordinary life, on a life that lights you up.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's the first thing is that you're you're missing out on the joys of life by biohacking your way through it.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: All those joys that that are what lead to a lit up life.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's what so many people miss.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: They think that like I'm gonna live this joyful life when I have this, like, this picture of this joyful life, or that's what they expect is like it's something that has to happen.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: And what I have learned over time is that it's actually these tiny little things that these little surprises that I get in my day, or these little moments of joy.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like today, somebody brought me a rose plant at sch at at my side hustle.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I could have just been like, oh, that's great.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, now I can enjoy the plant.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: It was, yeah, it's beautiful.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it was such a joyful moment.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if I didn't stop to appreciate that that actually really made my day, then I would have just missed it.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: I would have just been like, oh, yeah, thanks.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's so nice.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we think we have to wait for it.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm gonna biohack my way through my life now so that I can hit my 70s and be healthy and live out my retirement and be happy.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: You living for retirement or living for the future instead of living in the now.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: But these so, Jen, the second thing that I wanted to say about that world is that it all of that biohacking can't make up for a life that's not lit up.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like you it's not gonna it's not going to make up for that.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: All the supplementation in the world, if you're missing these other pieces that we're gonna talk about, if you want meaning and you're not living a meaningful life, then all the biohacking is not gonna help.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: That lack of meaning is going to sabotage all of your biohacking.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not even just that great, you're gonna be all healthy, but not living a great life.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's that because you're not living in alignment and you're not feeling lit up, that those aren't actually gonna work and you're not gonna be healthy.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, your your emotions and your your spirit, your soul, they're all connected.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're if you're not living what your soul is telling you to do, like what, and you know what that is.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like people actually know, they just shove it down or ignore it, or no, I don't have time for that yet.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we're gonna talk about all that later, maybe in the next episode.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_00: But that is going that actually has a physical impact on your body.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: It keeps you from like there's a science, there's a physiology linked to how you feel emotionally and spiritually.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: That no biohacking or longevity tools or all the things are not going to counteract.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that is so true.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: So the next sort of industry area or category is where do you want to go next, sure?
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: Emotions or spirit?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, let's go to the emotional one.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: So your emotions, this kind of it was a good segue, actually, what we just talked about.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Your emotions play a huge role in your physiology.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: So every emotion has a physiological response.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you think about it, if you are upset about something and you think about that reaction in your body, so it usually starts with like tightness in your chest.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: You feel this like tug in your chest, and then it moves up to your throat.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: You start to feel a tightness in your throat, and then it moves up to your face.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: You might get flushed, the tears start coming out, your nose starts to get stuffy or or starts to run, and you cry.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's very physiological.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: That there's chemical reactions and all kinds of things going on in your body as a result of that emotion that you feel.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, our emotions are going to play a role in our health.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And our emotions are going to play a role in how lit up, like how lit up our life is.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, of course.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Even things like emotions, especially the the ones that we think of as uncomfortable or negative that are opposite of the ones you want to feel.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we want to feel joy or inspiration or awe.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's one of the one one of the things that I want to feel is awe.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be awe-inspired.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: I want to see beauty.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: I want to feel peace.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: I want to feel joy.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: I want to feel excitement.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: There's all kinds of things that I want to feel.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the negative ones that aren't just gonna like we're meant to feel the full spectrum of emotions.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: But most of us don't actually feel either end of that spectrum.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like we don't we don't allow ourselves to feel, we shove down emotions, we shove down stress, we s we bury shame instead of allowing those feelings to come out.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I was thinking about as we were pulling this framework together was that there's a lot of like therapy has become a really more mainstream thing to do.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's not so stigmatized anymore.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that a lot of people do, even if they don't have like it used to be for the mentally ill or the traumatized or people who were abused, but now like people like you and me have been to therapy.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved, like I really found value in therapy.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: So this is not a knock against going to therapy.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: But what I have noticed is that therapy often might help you to talk about the emotions, maybe to help you to feel the emotions.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: But what it didn't do for me was move me into action to towards what lit me up.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the past and what was traumatizing or what is causing these emotions to come out now, or what, and that's all necessary, but it didn't lead me to what do I really want to do next and what's blocking me from doing that?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: Why isn't my it wasn't the remote here, put it this way.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't just the processing of those emotions that led to a great life.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I hear what you're saying, Cher.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's and I also got huge value out of it.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you're right, it helped me let go of what I needed to, and I actually I still go to various healers who helped me let go of what I need to in order to live an exceptional life.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: But it did not lead me towards that extraordinary life.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: I still had to figure that out on my own.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: And what's more is that I suspect that many midlife women out there are not actually processing their emotions.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that is going to stand in the way.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: So there's two steps there that they're not doing is processing the emotions and taking the action to move towards their lit-up life.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's certainly what we see in the women that come to us is they're either not processing their emotions at all, or they've or they've come a long way and they've gone to therapy.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I think all of our clients have gone to therapy.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and they're looking for something more or something alternative to help them take that next step towards like like how do I now how do I live?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: And one of our clients has, you know, we we talk about her as sort of the example.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: She is very aware now of where she's been to therapy, she's done a lot of work.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: She's very aware of where her thoughts and her beliefs have stemmed from.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: And yet she's not, she's there's still something that is keeping her from moving forward, from taking the action.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that is that her body is stuck in a pattern.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: So she's like, Oh, yeah, I get I do that because of my dad.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: I learned that I do that because of my mom or whatever.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because they told me this or whatever.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I learned that from this parent, but her body still responds to a stressor in that exact same way.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: So she's she hasn't actually shifted all of her patterns.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, and she hasn't taking that a step deeper.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: She hasn't, her nervous system is still activating when she wants to take the action.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: But there's something, so there's something that's activating her nervous system, and that's going to keep your nervous system, is gonna try to keep you safe instead of allowing you to take the action you want to take.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to get at the nervous system and what's causing the nervous system activation?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: What's the the subconscious belief?
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: What is the emotion that's that's underneath of that?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: What's the like what's the the pattern, the cause of that?
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when you get to that, then you can, then your nervous system feels safe doing the maybe thing that requires a bit of courage.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it also allows you to figure out, because so so many of our patterns about, like especially in midlife women, are about serving others, that it allows us to figure out what we want in the first place and then take an action against it.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like some women's nervous system is so revved up, they can't even contemplate what they might want to do.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's too, it's too unsafe to do something that would be something they truly want to do.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's because it's it's selfish or I'm a bad person.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's not being kind to other people.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's not doing what I should do.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: So they just get into a stress response, which I talked about in the last episode, and they can't actually take an action towards what would light them up.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing that I would add to that, Jen, is that they may be in a place where this was me, where I was so used to shoving down my own desires.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't even allowed to have a need.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't even allow myself to have a need or desire.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: It was even I felt ashamed that I had needs.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, a want.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I still feel something in my body when I say that out loud.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: I feel this shame.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's the only word I have for it, is that I feel this shame that I actually have needs.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's hard for me to even say those words.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: I have needs.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Or I want pleasure.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yes.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: I want to feel pleasure.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that crazy that we're not allowed to feel that?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one of the things that we help women with is like allowing themselves to want to have wants and needs and pleasure being one of them.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that for us that comes from religious trauma.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: So that is emotions.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when we talk about spirit, what is the category or area in the industry for this one?
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I see them as the spiritual entrepreneurs.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: And they're only focusing on the spiritual side.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: So the manifestation experts, for example.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, yes.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta stay in a high vibe.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: Feeling to manifest what I want.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: Just stay high vibe, stay in gratitude.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: And before we go too deep, I also like, I feel like I need to keep repeating this because I have taken many spiritual courses and classes, and I love them.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like they are also beneficial.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: So this isn't about knocking them.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's about showing how to go us a level deeper.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so what they're doing, what we're seeing on, I mean, of course, we haven't taken every single manifestation course out there.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't, like this is we're making generalizations here too.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so, listeners, be aware of that.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: But what we're what I heard a lot of was from like particularly, let's take manifestation as an example, was you need to be in, like you need to feel the way you want to feel in order to manifest the thing you want.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to stay, like you said, you need to stay high vibe, which is almost impossible.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not supposed to be in high vibe all the time.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: We are meant to experience, as we said before, the different energetics, the different emotions.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing, you know, let's take one of the things, one of the tools that the manifestation crowd, um, what's the word I'm looking for, like proposes that will help you to lead a life that's lit up is the vision boards.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I have done vision boards.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure you have too.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Me too.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then not manifested them.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: I have some of them, some of the things on my vision boards, I have manifested.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: And yet lots of those things I haven't.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: And what was happening for me and what we're seeing among our clients is that, first of all, you won't achieve the vision board if it's something that you think you want, but actually isn't aligned with your soul.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, you know, it's not intuitively led.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's maybe something that you think you should want, or that you've always wanted, but maybe don't even know why.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: I gave this example in the last episode, Cher, of one of our other clients who for months she kept saying how she just wanted to care for her mother who isn't well.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: And and then it came out in hypnosis that she didn't want to care for her mother.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: And she had tears in her eyes when she told me that.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: But she realized that she wanted, she wanted to love and spend time with her, but she didn't want to care, take care of her.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the kind of thing that can that can be misaligned.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: And there's lots of things that we that we think we want because we should want them.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, underneath of that, if we really listen to our soul, if we really listen to our intuition, our higher selves, whatever you want to call that, we would know, we'd notice.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, no, that's not gonna light me up.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I thought, I kept thinking, I need to have a massive circle of friends.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: Moved to this new town five years ago.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: I need to, I need to have this massive circle.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: I need to like make friends.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing that was driving me towards that was my belief that I'm not good enough if I don't, if I'm not popular.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Which sounds ridiculous.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: I sound like a little high school kid when I say that.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: But that's where it comes from, is my childhood, where we we were told that you need more friends.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have yeah.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: I never felt like I was good enough because I was an introvert.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: And only need a few friends to feel fulfilled with those, like a few close, good relationships.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I need to feel fulfilled.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I thought I wanted much more than that, or like a much bigger circle.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: So those are examples of they're driven by a pattern in my nervous system that I have had to shift.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what like manifestation doesn't talk about that.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: The other piece of it is that we might be able to uncover exactly what we want and it feels so aligned, and then our fears stand in the way.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: So that's I have a great example of myself when I really wanted to.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I love this work that we're doing.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it started for me 10 years ago, no longer than that, 2014, 12 years ago, when I really started taking steps towards the career, the business that I wanted.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, and when I first started, I kept taking on this other, like going back to my corporate expertise.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I kept taking on human resources clients because I had this fear that I wouldn't make enough money to maintain the lifestyle I wanted if I just put all my eggs in that one basket and really went for, went all in on what I really, what really fell to line for me.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that was that's fear.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's fear of not having enough money, fear of not making enough money, um, not having enough security, like financial security.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_00: It comes down to safety.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so every time an opportunity, uh an HR opportunity came up, I knew, like my whole body would say, No, you don't want to do this.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yet I would convince myself that I did, because it was gonna bring in easy money or it was gonna bring in more money than what I thought I could make in my new business.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're convincing yourself subconsciously.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like without even realizing, like we don't really, that's not always conscious.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually become very conscious for me because I've started to look back on those situations and and look at like it, there's always this moment after I've done it that I think, I knew I shouldn't have done this.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I shouldn't have.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think other people will relate to that.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: That you have after you say yes to something, you have this feeling like, I knew I shouldn't have done that.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, how did you know?
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I knew, like my body said it.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that's my in that's your intuition.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's your soul telling you, nope, this isn't for us.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's something better around the corner.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to wait for it or you have to go after it or or whatever.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: And yet we ignore all those feelings in our body.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_00: We ignore our intuition.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just re-I see we're running out of time.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_00: So let's recap those three quickly.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the health industry.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: The health industry is focused on only the physical.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it's missing the fact that first of all, you're missing out on your lit up life by trying to biohack your way through it.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: And you're also missing something, even if you're not trying to biohack, you're just trying to be healthier.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's good.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like you want we all want to improve our health and work towards better health, or hopefully we do.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: But you're not going to live, like that's not going to counteract a really extraordinary life just by being healthy.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: Being healthy doesn't lead to happiness.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: And be and unless you have the fulfillment, you're not going to be perfectly healthy either.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: It goes both ways.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_00: Emotion.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: Your emotions are going to affect you physically.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: So the industry focuses on let's address all these emotions, this pent-up emotion that you've been carrying.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's like let it go so that you can live your life.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so many midlife women aren't even getting that far.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: They're still burying the emotion.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they're going to counseling or a therapist and helping getting through some of like letting go of some of that emotion, but that's still not leading to the action that they need to take in order to truly live their desires.
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you're more self-aware and you've let go of stuff, but you still feel stuck.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great way of putting it.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's the spiritual side.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're if so you may be trying to follow your soul's lead, vision boarding, manifesting, doing all of the meditations and all of that.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're trying to manifest something that you think you want, but you you don't actually underneath the surface, then that's not going to lead to your most extraordinary life.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you do know exactly what you want, but your nervous system is keeping you from it, all the manifestation techniques in the world are not going to help you get there.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because your nervous system is going to keep on keeping you safe and keep you stuck.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what makes us so different is that we actually focus on all three.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we focus on not only the letting go part, but taking action, figuring out what you truly want and taking action toward it confidently without fear.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: So are we going to talk about this?
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: We have to.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Our retreat to Peru.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: So all of these things that are missing are what we have, they're the exact reason why we have created a framework that we are going to walk participants through in our first international retreat in Peru, in the Sacred Valley.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we have curated a process that will walk you through the letting go, feeling the emotions, and getting clarity on what you truly want.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then moving forward with unshakable confidence towards those new goals.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: So that you can come home from the retreat, not just feeling rested like you would on a vacation or even on another retreat, but like you're going to show up differently in your life.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like you almost can't go back to your old life.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, it's in Peru.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's going to be awe-inspiring scenery, hikes, mountains, um, Machu Picchu, like all of it in the Sacred Valley of Peru.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: So we have put the link to this retreat in the show notes.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: Go have a look if this resonates.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's midlifewomenrising.com slash Peru.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Go have a look at the details.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_00: And join us.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: And join us on that on that retreat.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's only spots for 10 women.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you gotta act fast.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: So go check it out.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_00: And next week, we're gonna actually go through the framework in this podcast.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: So come back next week to hear more about what this framework is so you can see what phase you're at and what you need to do next to get more clarity and actually take action on your extraordinary life.