Latest / Inside The Moms Club / Finding Joy, Letting Go of Guilt & Getting Your Spark Back--Rachel Marie Martin

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Finding Joy, Letting Go of Guilt & Getting Your Spark Back--Rachel Marie Martin · Inside The Moms Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome moms. Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Monica Samuels, and I'm here with my co host, Julie Orchid.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hello, Julie, how are you today?
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I'm terrific today. It's it's a beautiful day here in
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  Speaker 1: Los Angeles.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's always pretty when we come. And yeah,
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  Speaker 3: I've had a little bit of bug of wanting to
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: move here sometimes.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I know you do every once in a while, wile
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: you're driving your showing me houses, you like say the.
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  Speaker 2: Reason that you for no reason, I'm not doing that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we we have an exciting
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  Speaker 1: show today, like the sun wereciting. Yeah, we're very stoked.
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  Speaker 1: We have a really great guest. And one of the
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  Speaker 1: things that we were.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Questioning about a lot of people, Well, you were.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Asking me last week because we were talking about this,
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  Speaker 1: like what gives you joy? You asked me.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's hard, Like it's a hard joy,
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  Speaker 3: Like what makes you smile and feel content? And I've
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  Speaker 3: really worked on my list in the last twenty four hours.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, well let me hear your list, because I still
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: working online.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I honestly feel that you know, people think that
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  Speaker 3: when you're like, oh, how do you break the mundane?
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  Speaker 2: Where do you find your joy?
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  Speaker 3: And you you feel like you have to do something
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  Speaker 3: like travel around the world or you know, do something
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  Speaker 3: that's so grandiose that you, you know, need to be able
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  Speaker 3: to speak that. But for me, it's been finding little rituals.
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  Speaker 3: My little ritual in the morning and of what I
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  Speaker 3: do my animals. Going to the dog park for me
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  Speaker 3: has become pure joy. That's something.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Coffee is pure joy. It's just little things.
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  Speaker 3: You know, road trips, and I will say some of
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  Speaker 3: the traveling in the last five years that I've done
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  Speaker 3: has been great. It's brought joy, it's brought healing, and
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  Speaker 3: I couldn't say enough about it. What about you, I'm
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  Speaker 3: not talented, so I can't do anything like art, guitar, sing,
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  Speaker 3: any of that. I can do all so yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: of course.
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  Speaker 1: Actually you know what so so for our for our
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  Speaker 1: Instagram and our TikTok, we have to do well. I
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  Speaker 1: have to do these funny skits basically in characters and things.
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  Speaker 2: You are funny.
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  Speaker 1: I actually get joy out of that now because last
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: night when you asked me, the first thing I said was, well,
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  Speaker 1: I used to love being my son's team mom of
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  Speaker 1: the baseball team. That gave me tremendous joy. And yet
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: you pointed out that's through your kids. Is that really you?
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  Speaker 1: That's getting well?
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  Speaker 3: I think it's important to know that people kind of
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: you wake up and you're like, wait, I've lost a
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  Speaker 3: little bit, like we're going to talk about today, a
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  Speaker 3: little bit of my spark?
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  Speaker 2: Who am I? Who am I?
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  Speaker 3: You know, when the kids aren't in and out of
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  Speaker 3: the house every day and you've given so much that
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  Speaker 3: how could you not feel like, you know a little
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  Speaker 3: bit like, oh I need to revamp.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's a lot of energy.
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  Speaker 1: Your identity over those years of having kids just get
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  Speaker 1: tied up to that.
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  Speaker 4: Well.
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  Speaker 1: For the years that we had my husband and I
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  Speaker 1: had the Disney Vacation Club, and so we went to
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  Speaker 1: Disney so much because we had to, because we spent
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: some money on it that everyone thought that gave me
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: great joy. And maybe it did at the time.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you have it too through like
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  Speaker 3: twenty nineties. Who knows that's joy?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, joy of some sort, But I mean, you know so,
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  Speaker 1: but if I enjoyed it with the kids, and I
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  Speaker 1: do like to travel now, so that's good and yeah,
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  Speaker 1: we've done that. Getty more of a list now that
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  Speaker 1: I think about it. I take I have great joy
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  Speaker 1: when I go to Susie's Cakes and get their old
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  Speaker 1: fashioned chocola. That gives me joy.
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  Speaker 2: It's a lemon Yeah, yeah, you like the lemon war.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, there are things, but that's the thing, you know.
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  Speaker 1: I wrote a book years ago called Comeback Moms, and
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  Speaker 1: it was for women who wanted to take time off
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  Speaker 1: from work and stay home with their kids and then
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  Speaker 1: have be able to reconnect back to the work world later.
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  Speaker 1: And like we always said, what what's your next act
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  Speaker 1: going to be? What what's your comeback? And to look yet,
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  Speaker 1: I think and that's when you have to also decide,
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  Speaker 1: you know, what do I care about? Like what tell
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  Speaker 1: me about me?
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  Speaker 3: Well, what I've decided is that even if your day
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: is like just steady and you're not doing a lot,
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  Speaker 3: that day counts. Today counts. And I have started to
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  Speaker 3: really journal and really find maybe one or two things
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  Speaker 3: out of the day that fills you with gratitude. Gratitude
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  Speaker 3: is no joke if you really lean into it. I
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  Speaker 3: mean I'm not a motivational speaker, sound like one, right, now,
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  Speaker 3: but I'm not. I'm just saying gratitude is huge, Like
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  Speaker 3: if you can pick one or two things, I think
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  Speaker 3: that that brings me joy as well. And I could
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  Speaker 3: now talk about this all day. When I had trouble
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  Speaker 3: even finding.
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  Speaker 1: I know less now we were strung Like the first one,
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  Speaker 1: you said that what gives you joy? And I thought, maybe.
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  Speaker 2: That's why we've been up since two fifteen am.
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  Speaker 1: Blood did wake up at two thirty this morning, but
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  Speaker 1: that that did not give me joy. Asmnan does not listen.
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  Speaker 3: I think it's a question that a lot of women
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  Speaker 3: ask themselves, and I think that my friends and I
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  Speaker 3: have been talking about it because I'm recently.
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  Speaker 2: Three weeks out of not having any children at home.
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  Speaker 3: I think, I hope you know because you're really trying
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  Speaker 3: to come back. Yeah, they can't come back, but I'm
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  Speaker 3: just saying, like, you have to, really, you have to
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  Speaker 3: really reinvent yourself.
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  Speaker 2: And we owe it to ourselves. Heck, we are people too,
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  Speaker 2: and we get to enjoy stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Well, absolutely, because as moms, we we have to be
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  Speaker 1: there for everybody. Yeah, we're there for our husbands, we're
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: there for the kids, we're there for the pets. I
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: mean and I love the pets. But I mean it's
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  Speaker 1: like everything, like at some points, what about and you
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  Speaker 1: don't want to seem selfish or feel like you're being selfish?
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  Speaker 1: But you know, what about me? And then to where
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  Speaker 1: you even question what do I like?
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  Speaker 5: Right?
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  Speaker 2: I like to trash the to do list. That's my
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  Speaker 2: thing lately.
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  Speaker 3: And it gets a little annoying because that to do
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  Speaker 3: list gets long.
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  Speaker 2: But I'm enjoying myself.
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  Speaker 1: Well, this is a great subject, and so we have
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  Speaker 1: the very best person. We have an expert in the.
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  Speaker 3: Strate on this whole subject, and I'm so excited to
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  Speaker 3: have her here to see how she can this.
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  Speaker 1: She is the author behind the very popular site Finding
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  Speaker 1: joy dot net and several books, Get Your Spark Back,
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  Speaker 1: Mom Enough and Brave The Brave Art of Motherhood. Her
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  Speaker 1: content has been featured on The Today Show, Good Morning
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: American and countless publications and get this Julie. She is
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  Speaker 1: the mother to a blended family of eleven children.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my, what's amazing?
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  Speaker 1: Wow?
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  Speaker 2: Is right?
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  Speaker 1: Please? Yes, welcome Rachel Marie Martin. Welcome to the Mom's Clue.
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  Speaker 4: I'm so glad to be here, and yes that is
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  Speaker 4: I am the mom to eleven kids and a dog
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  Speaker 4: because we weren't busy enough.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you needed to add more. Yes, right, yes, yeah, exactly.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. What are the age ranges of the kids? Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: Okay, well they change. My husband always says they change
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  Speaker 4: every year. But I know one is turning sixteen tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: He's the youngest. Of the oldest is twenty nine.
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  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. What a busy house.
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  Speaker 1: Wow.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, it is busy, but I will tell you it's
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  Speaker 4: not as busy as when they were all ten and
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  Speaker 4: under that age. Oh that is a different type of busy.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true. That's so true.
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  Speaker 3: And you know you're running on fumes at those ages, right, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: so true.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, so tell us, So, tell our audience a
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  Speaker 1: little bit about your backstory. How did you come to
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  Speaker 1: your prolific writer? People follow you, they get inspiration from
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  Speaker 1: your words online. How did that all start? What led
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  Speaker 1: to that?
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  Speaker 4: Well? I always say I always liked to write, but
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  Speaker 4: in the early two thousand, so I'm going to kind
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: of date myself here, I was in Yahoo group and
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  Speaker 4: I was writing and somebody said, hey, you should start
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  Speaker 4: a blog, and I was like, okay, I'll do that.
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  Speaker 4: And for me in those days, that was in my
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  Speaker 4: first marriage, and it wasn't exactly I always say, it
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  Speaker 4: wasn't healthy, it wasn't the right thing, and writing became
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  Speaker 4: an outlet for me, and the title Finding Joy actually
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  Speaker 4: came from that because I was so trapped with in
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  Speaker 4: this what I well, I thought I was trapped within.
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  Speaker 4: This confines that I decided to go out on a
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  Speaker 4: journey similar to what you did last night and look
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  Speaker 4: for joy in the midst and that became the name
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  Speaker 4: of the blog. Well, I just kept going at it,
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  Speaker 4: pursuing joy and encouraging specifically moms in the beginning, but
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  Speaker 4: now it's kind of morphed into women in midlife how
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  Speaker 4: to go about finding joy, especially when life doesn't look
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  Speaker 4: like what we thought it would look.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I mean it's important to note that,
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  Speaker 3: like right out of the gate, you weren't like, you know,
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  Speaker 3: find joy, fine joy, find joy. I mean you had
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  Speaker 3: I think you had seven kids?
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  Speaker 4: Correct?
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  Speaker 1: Seven? I do you do?
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  Speaker 3: I mean you know what I mean, like you had
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  Speaker 3: seven of your own and then added, but I'm saying,
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  Speaker 3: like this wasn't something that you did right away, like
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  Speaker 3: you said, like I mean, people think you explained it
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  Speaker 3: in a way like ABC, like that doesn't really what
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  Speaker 3: life is about. And it's annoying that people think if
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: you do A, you're gonna get B and that's you know,
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  Speaker 3: nothing's ever Leaniar. So I'm really grateful that you spoke
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  Speaker 3: to that. But how with everything that you had go on,
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  Speaker 3: this divorce, your son living far away. Those are just
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: a couple of examples. But how did you come to
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: the grips of.
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  Speaker 2: All everything that you write about?
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  Speaker 3: You have an amazing following, you know obviously on Facebook
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  Speaker 3: and other places, like where did you find that? Where
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  Speaker 3: did you find the joy and to write about it?
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  Speaker 4: You know, people ask me that all the time. I
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: actually think because I really believe we all have these
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: like superpowers that we tap into. And for me, it
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: was this vulnerable this willingness to be vulnerable and to
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  Speaker 4: write about what we're all feeling. We're feeling we were
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  Speaker 4: feeling overwhelmed, or we were feeling frustrated, or what I
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  Speaker 4: found is a lot of women, a lot of moms
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  Speaker 4: felt alone. And so instead of making it look perfectly packaged,
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  Speaker 4: especially in the early days of social media, I would
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  Speaker 4: start to write about things like to the mom who
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: feels like she's failing because I was feeling like it.
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  Speaker 4: But I never wanted them to leave with Wow, let's
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  Speaker 4: just all feel like we're failing. I wanted to turn
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  Speaker 4: the page, to turn the perspective and it to be like,
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  Speaker 4: I want you to start to notice the little things
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  Speaker 4: that really matter, like where you were talking about the
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: coffee or your dog or sometimes I even say, the
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: fact that that your coffee stayed warm just a little
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: bit longer, you know, because sometimes it doesn't.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: And when it's cold, it's so miserable.
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  Speaker 4: Part of life, that little posture of really trying to
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: look for something that's good in the every day, because
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: sometimes the day might not be a great day, but
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  Speaker 4: there's something that might be good within it.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so now your recent, but get your spark back.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Mm HMMD So you lose your spark and you like,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: tell us about the sparks had.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Eleven kids, Monica. I mean, there's gonna be some smart spark.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Demy like, yeah, like come on.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, tell the explain that to the audience.
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  Speaker 2: So all right, well it goes.
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  Speaker 4: I fought after I got divorced. I was like the
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: single mom. I was on fire, and I really fought
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  Speaker 4: to get my life in order, and when you have
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  Speaker 4: to be super strong, sometimes you don't realize everything else
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  Speaker 4: that's you just you're just in full motion. And I
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: ended up getting remarried right at the beginning of twenty twenty,
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: like a couple weeks before the world shut down, right,
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  Speaker 4: And then in the process of when we were all
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: locked down, all of a sudden, I thought I had
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  Speaker 4: this moment of like, well, who am I now? Who
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: am I? As a writer? Because I would write. I
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: wrote about those single mom years. I wrote about my
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: financial struggles. I wrote all about that, and I didn't
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: know what the pit it was. And my kids were
• 12:02
  Speaker 4: getting older, the kids were graduating, they were they were
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: going off to college, and I all of a sudden,
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: I remember looking at myself thinking, I don't know me.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: I know what I'm good at. I know that I'm
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: good at being a mom. I know I'm productive. I
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  Speaker 4: know I can write, I can do that, But who
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  Speaker 4: am I? At the core? And that to me was
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: this journey of getting my own spark back. And I
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: went on a massive journey without knowing it, about figuring
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  Speaker 4: out who I was so much that my readers actually
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: started to write in and ask how do I get
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: my spark back? And I thought, oh my goodness, this
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  Speaker 4: is what they're asking. They're witnessing it evolve in me,
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  Speaker 4: and that was the inspiration for the book.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fantastic. What's the year been like?
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  Speaker 3: I know that this book came out correct me if
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: I'm wrong, but in August of twenty twenty four, So
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: you've had a whole year of you know, getting just
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: the ride of it.
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  Speaker 2: What's it like?
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  Speaker 4: It's it's amazing. I think the most unbelievable part for
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  Speaker 4: me is to get to meet so many people along
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  Speaker 4: the way, so many people that have that moment of
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: you know what, I can do this, because that's always
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: been my mission, is if I can be a spark
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: of hope for somebody else, so they can look at
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  Speaker 4: their life and they can be like, you know what,
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: I am so worth and so worthy of figuring out
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: who I am right now and taking back and doing
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: it without guilt. I know in the beginning you were
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: talking about sometimes it feels selfish, and I just want
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  Speaker 4: to flip the narrative and be like, it's so giving
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  Speaker 4: to take care of yourself. It's so when you take
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: care of your own self you're inspiring your friends to
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: but you're also modeling to our kids. Look, it is
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  Speaker 4: worth it to invest in our own stories.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I think being depleted now my new model is
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: being depleted is dumb. Like I mean, honestly, like being
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: depleted of energy, being depleted of your you know what
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, not giving back to you yourself like. And
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I think that she has a really good point. Taking
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  Speaker 3: care of yourself is huge, well.
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  Speaker 1: Right, because how can you contribute productively if you're depleted,
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  Speaker 1: if you're not.
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  Speaker 3: If you're feeling Monica did not like that. I just said,
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  Speaker 3: depleted is dumb?
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  Speaker 4: Do you I liked it.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: I thought, do you have Yeah, I did like it.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I didn't say do you do you have a travel
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: around and talking to some of your audience. Do you
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  Speaker 1: have a favorite story of someone who got their spark
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: back and told you you know, hey, I credit you
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: and here's what happened.
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  Speaker 4: No, there's so many little stories that have happened. But
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  Speaker 4: the one that stands out to me actually make it'll
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: make me emotional was last year, right around when the
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: book was launched. I had a reader that wrote in
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: and I didn't actually meet I've never met her in
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  Speaker 4: real life, and she said she was going through something
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: that was really hard, divorce, all of that, but my story,
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: this book, all of it gave her courage to go
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: back to school and and she had adult kids and
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: all that because she wanted to finish up her degree.
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  Speaker 4: And about a month ago, I was going through my
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: inbox and I'm not very good with email. I'm always
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: going to tell people that terrible with email. And I
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: found her another email and it was a picture of
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: her at school and I think she only needed to
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: get She got an associates degree, graduating with her kids
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  Speaker 4: next to her, and she said that it was the
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: inspiration that moment where she thought, I'm going to finish
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: my education and I cannot. It's just it makes me
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  Speaker 4: so overwhelmed with gratitude that I get a spot on
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  Speaker 4: this earth to be that vessel that maybe opens up
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  Speaker 4: somebody else's eyes to like, you know what, I'm going
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  Speaker 4: to do this. I'm going to fight for my story
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  Speaker 4: on this planet.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Good for you that I love that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, what's your connection been like to your audience? Because
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: one of the things that we do, we're really so
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: the Mom's Club is all about women's friendships and the
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: connections that we have with each other. And we're starting
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: these chapters all over the country of women getting together
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: and just connecting with each other. What has your experience
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: been with your audience? Have you developed good friendships out
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: of you through your audience? Do you connect with some
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: of them or you know? What's that been like? Because
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: you have such a vast audience.
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: It's an interesting journey. I will say that just last week.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: So I live in Nashville, and a couple of readers
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: who ended up helping me with early book launches, who
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: we ended up communicating, We've become friends, and so I
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: met up with them downtown Nashville for breakfast, and I
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: felt like I had known them forever because I really
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: believe that the audience. I'm so grateful for them. I
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: really I encourage a lot of writers and entrepreneurs, especially
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: building an audience, to take the time to invest in them.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: They're coming into your story leaving a comment, and I
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: tell people, I can't respond to everybody anymore, it's gotten
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: so large, but I do take the time that I can,
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: and I try to comment and to really listen to
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: what they're saying. And as a result, when I did
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: the book tour. I was all over the country and
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: I got to meet people that felt like we were
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: friends already.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: That is great, That is that is great. How do
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: you so, how do you feel about like women really
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: connecting with one another and how important that that is?
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like that that we need
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: to encourage more of that, which is basically what we're
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: doing here totally? Well.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: I love that you have your mom chapters because I
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: truly believe that when we're together, we are stronger. It
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: doesn't mean we have to always be alike. I always
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: tell my kids that story of the bundle of sticks,
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: and one can be broken, but when you put a
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: bunch together, it can't because it's so strong. And it
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: never says in there like it's a bundle of oak
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: sticks or walnut. It's it's just I always think it's
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: this asked different types, and that's how we are as women,
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: is we can be stronger when we're together. And then
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: I like to really really remind women, especially that in
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: some ways, when we fond, we come together and we
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: support each other and celebrate each other's victories and hold
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: each other in the hard times, and we speak truth
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: to each other. We are honoring the generations and generations
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: of women that fought for us to have a voice,
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: like we have this voice now, and the best thing
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: we can do is honor that fight and form and
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: forge solid friendships.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is great. I mean that's true.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, nothing could be truer.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: Right, I have a question about you having the courage
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: to bringing the truth to the surface. You've talked about
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: a lot of hard things and a lot of times
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: that you know you'll take away the power of you know,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: the silence and you bring it to the surface. And
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: you've talked a little bit about that, you know with people,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: I mean mainly finances for women and getting a hold
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: of you know, your getting a hold of yourself that
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: you know you can do it, and not to put
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: your head in the sand. You've done a really good
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: job of bringing stuff to the surface. Can you speak
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: to it?
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: Well? I tell people, you know, it's interesting to me.
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: Is the very place that I felt shame for most
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: of my early years of my adult life was my
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: finances because my first marriage, the finances dismal is not
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: a good enough word, but it wasn't, you know, it
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: wasn't until I brought that to the light. It was
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: like when you hide behind the places that there's shame, Yeah,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: you can't heal like shame is like it's a it's
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: a barricade. It stops you from seeking the answers that
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: you need or opening up paths. And so the irony
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: for me is the first time I was on the
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Today Show, I ended up talking about financi healing for women.
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: So what was very frightening for me where I hid
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: became the very thing that I was so impassionate and
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: power and wanted to speak about because I really want
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: women to be able to talk about finances, to talk
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: about them in a knowledgeable way, and to be empowered
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: to take back that area of their lives.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: I mean, you must have felt a little bit of freedom,
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: like a massive amount, not even a little bit, you
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: know what I mean?
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there is freedom. There is kind of freedom in
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: like I think when you're hiding, you're like spinning all
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: these plates and you're working so hard to keep the
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: hide so that nobody knows that you're trying to hide
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: stuff or you don't want to talk about it, and
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: when you finally decide, I'm I'm tired. I am tired
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: of this or for me, it was going through this
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: divorce that was I always say it was private public
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: because I was a writer. When they fell, I had
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: this moment where I was like, oh my gosh, I
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: don't have to pick all these up. Why was I
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: even bothering with that. I'm just going to be me
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: and I'm going to encourage women to step into their
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: true calling.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Well, I love the title of one of your book
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: is The Brave Art of Motherhood, and being brave is
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: so important. And I know in the in the financial
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: part of it you I guess there was one story
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: you told about finally calling a debt collector and just
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: saying I owe you money. How do we work this out?
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Because so many people hide.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: And what I finally had to tell myself is the
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: guy or the gal on the other line is not
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: out to judge me. It was like I had put
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: all of these presuppositions. They were actually almost grateful to
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: hear me to work it out. And so there's this
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: empowering part. I think. We start to tell these stories
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: about I can't do it, or what will people think,
• 21:52
  Speaker 4: or all of that, and again it's like that barricade
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: of shame and we don't do anything. But when you
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: don't do anything, you're you're may think I'm just choosing
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: not to do it today, You're actually kind of going
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: backwards a little bit. And every time you do even
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: a small thing, you're pushing the momentum and changing it
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: to go forward.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true growth, right, I'm absolutely yeah, I am
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: into that, that's for sure.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Well, you are so inspiring and we love I just
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: love talking to you. But you know who else would
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: love to talk to you are our zoomer mom. So
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: welcome zoomer Mom.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: You come to a mad club.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Ladies, I'm going to introduce each one of you and
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: share a little bit about yourself. Tell us your name,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: where you're from, and then do you have a question
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: for Rachel. First, Tammy, Welcome to the Mom's Club.
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: Good afternoon, Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: So Rachel, I'm Tammy White, and I'm in Knoxville, Tennessee,
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: and i am divorced. I'm a nonprofit CEO, and I'm
• 22:54
  Speaker 5: the mother of one child who was adopted at birth
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: and she's now a junior your collegiate lacrosse player in
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: the Midwest. So super excited to listen to you all,
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: and I do have a question for you and a
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: little bit of a comment. So I will tell you
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: this is truly I love this topic. It really aligns
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: with who I am in terms of trying. I'm one
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: of those people who really likes to practice gratitude and
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: finding the good and everything and praising it.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: And but I.
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: Have struggled with that one word, and that's joy, And
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: it's a word I don't like to say and I
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: don't like to use. And my aversion to it is
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: because it's the name of the other woman who caused
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: my divorce and the breakup of my family. So I'm
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: a person who when I'm looking at Christmas cards, they
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: might be beautiful, but if that word's in it.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: UH not going to go in into trash.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: And so given that.
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: You know, I'm again I'm grateful for where I've got
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: and I really like this whole notion of finding my
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: spark or I'm going to say I'm going to find sparkles,
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: because it's going to be more than one, right, But
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: what do you think blocks us from finding the sparkles?
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: And how can we ever come that.
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: In our life?
• 24:18
  Speaker 5: And then if you have personal thoughts about my own
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: aversion to that one word. I mean, I'm open to it,
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: I'm not offended, but my closest friends know that that's
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: just if they're going to buy me a card, it's
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: not going to.
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: Have that word in it. Good questions from a fellow Tennesseean.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: That's nice to chat with you, And I'm sorry about
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: the story that part that you've had to walk through to.
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: And I think that maybe you don't use joy as
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: your word. You have full autonomy to choose a different
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: word for that. Maybe yours is finding your spark or
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: your sparkle. And I love the idea of sparkle with that,
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: and I really believe that. So joy is interesting to me.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: And it's interesting because it's a word that's different than happiness.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: But I started writing a lot about happiness and get
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: your spark back, and maybe that's the word too, because
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: I discovered in my own life that happiness had this
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: like weird thing where people wouldn't say like it was
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: a selfish word, like people would say, oh, you want
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: to be happy? Like as a writer, I thought, well,
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: this is strange because it had this layer of being
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: selfish until I realized, you know, what this is our
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: my time on this planet, this is it, and I
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: am worthy of moments that make me happy. That it
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: going back to that simple coffee or sitting on the beach,
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: or spending time with friends or getting to talk with people.
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: So that would be my encouragement with that, along with,
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: you know, with gratitude. I think that gratitude also got
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: a little bit of a bad rap over a couple
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: of years and or in the time that I've been writing,
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: and because it seems cliche in some ways, like oh,
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: just be grateful, be grateful, and for me when I
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: was struggling, just like you know, if someone was to
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: say to you, go find joy, You're like, I don't
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: think so. I just remember thinking, I don't want to
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: be grateful. I don't want I don't This is not
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: something I want to be grateful about. So much so
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: that in my first book, The Brave Art of Motherhood,
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: and I remember my editor like, are you sure you
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: want to put this in here? I said that you
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: should check your gratitude list because there might be some
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: things on our gratitude list that we actually need to change.
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: So for me and my own story, I gave a
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: story of a truck that was repossessed, and I was mortified.
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: I had all these little kids, and I was embarrassed,
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: and I felt all the shame. And immediately I started
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: thinking of Okay, think of the good things. And then
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: it was like a lightning hit me. I do not
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: I should not be grateful for this right now. I
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: should not be grateful that I can go retrieve the
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: bag that was in the back of it. This is
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: something that I need to change. And so I'm always
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: challenging myself and others to look at the preconceived ideas
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: that we have about joy or happiness or gratitude and
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: to really examine them. So like with gratitude, I tell people,
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: maybe examine your gratitude list and is there something on
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: there that needs to change? So with looking for joy,
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: it might not necessarily need to be that word. It's
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: really about for me this level of awareness. The older
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: I get, the more conscious I have become of what
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: goes on in my head and being aware, like you
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: know what, I don't need to believe that that's not
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: true or challenging it. Why do I think this to
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: be true? So that would be what I would tell you.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: That's yeah, it's a really good answer. You don't want that.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: You want to be meaningful and not necessarily be trite
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: or like you said, it's you know, cliche, like you know,
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: but really think about it, Like, I think that's super.
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: So I feel like as humans we try to like
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: sometimes just oh, just push that over, like oh, just
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: look for something good without realizing that the person that's
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: hearing that is like, I don't want to do that
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: right now. I don't want that. So like Tammy, I
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: love that your friends are like, uh huh, she is
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: only getting you know, happy festivities and merry holidays and
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: all of that because they love you, because they know
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: what is in your lane. And I don't think that
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: you have to ever unless you get to this place.
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: Think I'm going to reclaim that maybe you just don't
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: you take power and joy, joy, happiness and where you are.
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I appreciate that, and I will say I feel
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: like I have a great life. I'm extremely happy, and
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: I can't imagine still being married to that person. So
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: I'm I'm am in a great place. I appreciate that encourage.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. That is good.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: I think that's a story that needed to be shared, Tammy.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: That the reason why you don't necessarily love that word.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, we would have all been trying to guess,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: and you really brought something to the surface.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: For a lot of women.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: That you know, they're like, this is why I don't
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: like it, and this is how it is to me,
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: and that it's painful.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: So I need to find something else that fits well.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: So thank you.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: I also like, Rachel, how you described all that, because
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: when you're talking about gratitude. A few two or three
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: years ago, we have a mutual friend who got really
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: into gratitude. She had a gratitude app and I thought
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: that just seems like okay. I was like, now we
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: have an app, yeah, gratitude and it didn't feel as
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: it didn't seem as important to me because it's been
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: turned into just this like what is it? Yeah, So
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I think the way you described it explained it is
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: a lot better because it put a lot of meaning
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: behind it, and that's important.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: That's great. Bridget, welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: a little bit about yourself and you have a question
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: for Rachel.
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: Absolutely, it's so nice to be here. Thanks for having me.
• 30:19
  Speaker 6: I'm Bridget, Mats and Gill and I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Ohio discovering the stay today.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: I love it.
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: I am a founding CEO of a regional economic and
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: community development organization. I am married to a youth pastor,
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: so I'm also pastor's wife. I'm also a rescue beagle
• 30:48
  Speaker 6: dog mom of two. As if any of this wasn't enough,
• 30:53
  Speaker 6: I'm also the mom.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Actually, I also do.
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: Health coaching on the side as well, because i mean,
• 31:01
  Speaker 6: who has time time, let's fill it in. Yeah, And
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: this is really going to lead with my question for you, Rachel, because.
• 31:08
  Speaker 7: I'm also the mom of twin daughters.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: And my twin.
• 31:13
  Speaker 6: Daughters just started their junior year of high school. They're
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: in their junior year and so we're upperclassmen. They are
• 31:22
  Speaker 6: big into soccer, they are big into basketball. I am
• 31:25
  Speaker 6: the soccer mom, i am the basketball mom, I'm all
• 31:28
  Speaker 6: the things. Our life is packed. But as sixteen year olds,
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: they're starting to drive, they're getting their independence, and so
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: life right now, it really it feels exciting as we
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: enter the new phase. But I'm going to be honest,
• 31:46
  Speaker 6: I'm truly terrified of what's going to happen a year
• 31:51
  Speaker 6: and a half.
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: From now with the empty nesting.
• 31:54
  Speaker 6: And you would think for someone like me who is
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: completely overwhelmed, that I would be looking forward to freedom,
• 32:02
  Speaker 6: and I'm so not.
• 32:04
  Speaker 7: And so the stage of motherhood that's.
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: Around the corner with empty nesting, it feels exciting that
• 32:10
  Speaker 6: it really feels very bittersweet and so good.
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: I really love your perspective. A couple of ways to
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: look at it.
• 32:19
  Speaker 7: How how can moms like me navigate that transition with
• 32:24
  Speaker 7: joy and purpose instead of focusing on the loss. And
• 32:28
  Speaker 7: are there daily practices or mindset shifts that you would
• 32:32
  Speaker 7: recommend for me to start learning how to embrace this
• 32:36
  Speaker 7: upcoming season?
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: Love that question?
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: Me too? Me too. My son goes to UTC, so
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: we're even a bigger connection. So UTC is a University
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: of Tennessee Chattanooga's right. So you know, when you were talking,
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: I thought this is and then you said it. I said,
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: this is bittersweet. I remember learning about it as a kid.
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: I snuck bittersweet chocolate for my mom's pantry as a kid,
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: and I learned I didn't like it. So, but bittersweet
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: is really this mixture. To me, it's letting go and
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: holding on at the same time. Because there is this
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: process of this ache because at the same one apart,
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: it goes so fast, like you're thinking, it's already junior year.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: I can't believe it. I can't believe it. And yet
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: when you look back, it's so full. There's so many things,
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: and you've been so busy. And what I discovered in
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: my own life is when there's freedom, or when they grow,
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: there also becomes more silence. And I first learned that
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: when my youngest, the one who's turning sixteen tomorrow, went
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: to kindergarten and I wrote a blog post called now
• 33:48
  Speaker 4: the windows stay clean, and I remember thinking they're never
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: gonna stay clean. They're never And then all of a sudden,
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: a couple of days after he was there, I was
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: sitting in my living room and it was quiet and
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: the windows were clean, and the emotions were so overwhelming.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: I thought, Wow, is this possible? And the letting go
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: of them, when you release the hand into adulthood, it
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: feels the same and it's a different kind of love.
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: Like I have a daughter that she lives in Baltimore.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: Came to visit in August, the best week ever. She's
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: an adult, and when she left, I sat I mean,
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: I get emotional, like my kids know it. They're like,
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: you're gonna cry, mom, And I think that's good they
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: I want them to see that love. But I ended
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: up sitting on my front porch with your okay, this
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: is so rock with flight Tracker on watching for when
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: her flight left, knowing that it was probably gonna fly
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: over my home here in Tennessee, watching and then seeing
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: it and taking a picture of it, knowing my daughter
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: was on it flying away, and I thought, that's motherhood
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: right there. Yeah, it's loving them so much you look
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: for those little moments within And so for me, like
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: the daily practice is knowing that there's going to become
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: more quiet and figuring out who I am in that
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: quiet and figuring out even as your daughters are driving
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: now of okay, I need to start to fill this
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: space with me with something that's important to me, with
• 35:22
  Speaker 4: something that fills me with joy, and then also giving
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: yourself the grace to experience those emotions. Those emotions are
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: because you love. That is the bottom line. It is
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: an emotion of deep love and I want us to
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: be okay with it. And so I wrote about the
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: picture of my daughter. I took this it's all blurry.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: I'm like zooming way in and there it is. My
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: daughter's on that plane, and I wrote about it, and
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: the number of moms that sent back a similar picture
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: blew me away. So you're not alone. You are not alone,
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: and all of us rally together with you because we
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: get it. Yeah.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, I mean it takes a lot of courage.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: I'm a new you know, empty nester. I don't know
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: if I love that term, but you know, I'm giving
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: them wings whatever you want to say. But it takes
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: a lot of courage to take the phone call, to
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: like listen, and to do all that. So I have
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: found that even if it's not super popular to write
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: in a journal about what I'm about to write about
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: what is about to go on in your household, it's
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: always something to look back on and then to go
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: we made it through that day, and we're transitioning, and
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: I get to look forward to the next chapter. And
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I will say, as my kids have grown, they love
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: to look back. And I want my kids to say,
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, we don't even recognize that woman, and
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: it's all in the best parts of her and who
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: she has become. So trust me when I say they
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: won't go far. You think in a year and a
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: half year, girl, they will be at your front door
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: so fast it'll make your head spin.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: But it is a transition and it's just.
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Like your book being you know, having the bravery of
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: motherhood and it is gut wrenching and not for the week.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: That's true. And they do come back now and then too,
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: sometimes for longer periods than other times. Yeah, there is
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: that is true. Yes, yes, yes, Bridget. I have a
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: great idea for you, Bridget. Could you sound like my
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: kind of woman?
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: I think I know exactly.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: You should start a chapter of Inside and Chattanooga, the
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: mom Tarage and Chattanooga. We would love to have a.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: House near Chattanooga. We could, Yes, yeah, we.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: Could go see you there, Chi. Welcome to the Mom's Yeah,
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: let's do it. Do you have a question for Rachel?
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about yourself.
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: Hello.
• 37:52
  Speaker 8: My name is Cheri and I'm also from Tennessee, but
• 37:56
  Speaker 8: I live in Raleigh for the past almost thirty years
• 37:59
  Speaker 8: with in Raleigh, a mom of four kids. They're all
• 38:02
  Speaker 8: in their twenties. My husband and I recently moved from
• 38:06
  Speaker 8: Raleigh though to a small town and bought a little
• 38:09
  Speaker 8: farm and say we're sort of homesteader adjacent because I'm
• 38:13
  Speaker 8: not by any means a full homesteader, but we've got
• 38:17
  Speaker 8: we're raising goats and chickens and ducks, and we have
• 38:19
  Speaker 8: a couple of cows, and so that's been a real
• 38:22
  Speaker 8: fun new thing and kind of new challenges everywhere. So
• 38:26
  Speaker 8: that kind of leads into my question of, for Rachel,
• 38:30
  Speaker 8: what is your biggest challenge or fear even that you
• 38:34
  Speaker 8: face today as you're doing what you're doing right now.
• 38:37
  Speaker 4: Good question, you know, then I get overwhelmed. That's going
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: to sound so strange, but I don't like to be overwhelmed. So,
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: first of all, from another Tennessee native or actually I'm
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: from Minnesota, but as someone that's from here, I just
• 38:53
  Speaker 4: wanted to say, that's cool that today. Yeah, but I
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: have this part of me that thinks that when I'm
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: going to do something that's challenging or new or hard,
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: that it I have to experience the emotion of anxiety
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: or fear or overwhelm. And for me, I've been working
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: really really hard on catching that emotion. And the example
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: I give is with this last book, I was on
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: Good Morning America and as we were driving there, I
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: got that kind of anxiousness and this is and I
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: had the moment of clarity where I thought, you know what,
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: you better enjoy this. You have got to let go
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: of that. You're prepared, you know what you're doing, you
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: know your mission, you love this content, You'll be fine.
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: Don't miss out on the moment. And so I remember
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: going in thinking I am just going to enjoy this,
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: and it was such a huge paradigm shift that for me,
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: the challenge right now is catching that like, oh, I
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: don't know if I want to do that or I
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: don't know and feeling that overwhelmed and stepping back and going,
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: you know, what do I have to lose? My husband
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: gave me some of the greatest words ever. He said,
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: what do you have to what's the greatest risk not
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: doing it? Or doing it? And it has changed my
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: perspective so much that I find myself very confident in
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: my yes, but also just as confident in my know
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: because I know this is the journey. So for my
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: biggest challenge it would be that and not feeling I
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: feel the pressure of time more. I feel the pressure
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: of I don't know if it's because I turned fifty,
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: and all of a sudden, I'm like, ooh, that next decade,
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: that one feels different, which I said with at forty
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: of course. But I do feel the pressure of time,
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: and I feel the pressure of my parents aging. I
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: feel that challenge of letting go of my kids and
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: also letting go of my parents in a way. They
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: live in Minneapolis, which is about one thousand miles from here,
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: and I just know that the window of time is changing.
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: And so maybe that's the definition of midlife is we're
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: being squished on both sides while we're expected to grow.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, time's a beast, you know for sure.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: I mean, Bridget, what you described to me is that
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: you're not gonna have time to be sad because it
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: sounds like you might be running for president. Everything that
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: you listed, I was like, oh my gosh, well yeah.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: And these have all been great, great zoomer moms. I
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: really enjoyed it. And I love the Tennessee contingent. Yeah,
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: especially in Texas. We love we love people. We're from Texas.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, we like to say, oh, you're from Texas.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, now we will We're Austin.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: We like to say that, well, we.
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Do have a little thing about that ut thing, you know, Yeah,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: that's still a thing between us. But yes, we're so
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: girled that you all were here today, and Rachel, thank
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: you so much. This show has been this has been amazing,
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: as we say on The Mom's Club Show, and we've
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: just I we could go on with this conversation all
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: day long.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: You're an incredible speaker, and you really you promote words
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: that we all need to hear.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: So thank you.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: We'll share with our audience where they can all find
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: you on social media because I know they're all going
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: to want to start following you.
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm so grateful to be here. I could have
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: kept chatting for a long time.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: Most people find me is either finding joy dot net,
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: the website I started way back in two thousand and eight,
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: or a lot of people will find me on Facebook.
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: If you search find a Joy blog, my face will
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: pop up and there's a blue check mark that says
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: that Facebook has verified that I'm a real human.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Yes like that? Well we need to know that these days.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Well, definitely so true. Yeah, exactly, Yeah, definitely follow Rachel
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: on social media, follow us on social media and inside
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: the Mom's Club We're on all the platforms, and we
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: also want to thank today our sponsor, New Calm. We
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: absolutely love Newclm. Newcolm has our friendship because.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Spell it for us because it's always confusing and you
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: c a l M.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: And it is an app that helps you sleep better, focus, meditate, meditate,
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: create and energy energy from and I'd use it sometimes
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: when I exercise. I mean, it is great. And if
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: you put Mom's Club in the code of checkout, you
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: get fifteen percent off every month. Yeah, great discount for you,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: so please be sure and do that. We also have
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: some exciting news. We are forming chapters. We're gonna have
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: chapters all over the country and we're starting now with
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: our live events, and we're gonna be having live events
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: soon in Nashville, Atlanta, and North Dallas and Shreveport. Check
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: the Inside the Mom's Club website for the local event details.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: These are fun, free and informative. We're gonna have some
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: great guest speakers, and we're gonna have prizes people get.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Actually they you can win things at these events. We
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: have these events, We've already had some me people, you
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: meet you people. It's great and actually and the prizes
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: are great too. I tried once to throw my card
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: in there and thinking, oh I picked myself.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: I had to fish it out of the ball get
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: to play.
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: But there's limited tickets available, so when you get the opportunity,
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: secure your ticket at inside the Moom's Club dot com. Well,
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Julie again, this it was.
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: I can't think of a better show to end on
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: finding joy or get your spark back, because Lord knows,
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: I have to ask myself that a lot.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna go get our spark back here
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. That's all the mom shopping is one
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: place where I do get my.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: Sparknica has been waiting one hour to tell you that
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: shopping is.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: Where she gets like her joy from.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, I do get I do get it there.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: It's fun.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Well, we'll be back next time. Moms out there with
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: celebrities and extraordinary moms, and we know your meantime is
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: precious and valuable. Thanks so much for spending it with us.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Remember the Mom's Club motto. If you don't laugh, sometimes ladies.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: You are going to cry.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: So keep laughing out there. We'll see you next time
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: Inside the Mom's Club