Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 114. Stop wasting your life on the wrong things: the 3-step calendar reset

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114. Stop wasting your life on the wrong things: the 3-step calendar reset · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

• 0:12
  Your calendar already tells a story about you and your family.
• 0:16
  And I wanna ask you, is it telling the story that you
• 0:19
  wanted to tell? So I had a baby during COVID, as
• 0:22
  many of you probably listening did as well.
• 0:25
  And we had a pretty intense and wild ride.
• 0:28
  You can listen to that story. It's it's in the archives here.
• 0:31
  But I was coming out of a pretty hard time.
• 0:34
  My husband was in the hospital for a while.
• 0:36
  We had had just a wild journey and we had a newborn on top of
• 0:40
  that. And so I was heading back to
• 0:42
  work after being on maternity leave for a year, and things
• 0:46
  were starting to feel good and better.
• 0:49
  And I felt like I was ready to go back to work and I had all
• 0:52
  the tools on my sleeve. I was a career coach.
• 0:54
  I was already starting to specialize in working with
• 0:56
  parents in particular, and I got rocked.
• 1:02
  Before we dive into today's episode, I've got something very
• 1:05
  exciting for you To celebrate the holidays and to thank you
• 1:08
  for being a part of this community, I am running a
• 1:10
  special. Giveaway.
• 1:11
  Here's how it. Works.
• 1:13
  Leave me a written review on Apple Podcasts.
• 1:15
  Tell me what you're loving about the show, what is resonating, or
• 1:19
  your favorite episode or guest or solo episode.
• 1:22
  And then before you hit submit, this part is really important.
• 1:25
  Screenshot it. Head over to
• 1:27
  andreabarr.com/giveaway and fill out a very quick form.
• 1:32
  You will immediately get my 5 Steps to Career Clarity Guide
• 1:36
  sent straight to your inbox for free and you'll be entered to
• 1:40
  win the 90 minute strategy session with me that you can use
• 1:44
  in January New Year, New Me Vest.
• 1:46
  If you want a second entry, leave a comment on Spotify and
• 1:50
  upload that screenshot to the forum as well.
• 1:53
  If you do both of these things, you've got two chances to win.
• 1:57
  I will be announcing the winner on the episode coming out on
• 2:00
  January 8th. I am so excited to hear what is
• 2:03
  resonating with you and I want to.
• 2:06
  Thank you in advance. Alright, let's get into the
• 2:08
  show. I got completely rocked.
• 2:13
  I went back into work, I had badge cooked, I had had good
• 2:17
  conversations with my husband about how we were going to do
• 2:20
  this transition and come back into work and I ended up working
• 2:24
  around the clock. I ended up not having a lot of
• 2:27
  time for my family and I ended up being sat down with my
• 2:31
  husband who is a quiet, gentle soul and he looked me in the eye
• 2:35
  and he said you're not happy. And I can feel it.
• 2:40
  And I think Addie, our daughter, can feel it too.
• 2:43
  And that was such a punch in the gut moment for me of just
• 2:50
  hearing him say that he is my biggest cheerleader.
• 2:53
  Addy, one years old, biggest cheerleader for sure.
• 2:55
  No, she's the biggest fan of the show.
• 2:56
  But it was just, man, it was so incredibly hard to hear.
• 3:01
  And when I stepped back for a second and I started to pull out
• 3:04
  the tools that I used with my clients and that I know I can
• 3:08
  use and lean on. I started to realize that
• 3:11
  looking at my calendar, looking at where I was spending my
• 3:14
  energy and my intention, I wasn't spending my life in the
• 3:19
  way that really reflected my values in my family's values.
• 3:23
  And that is love, adventure, fun, freedom, flexibility.
• 3:27
  These are some of the things that are really deeply value.
• 3:29
  And when I looked at my calendar and when I looked at the work I
• 3:32
  was doing, it just it wasn't there.
• 3:35
  It wasn't there. And so in this episode, I want
• 3:39
  to encourage you to look at your calendar in the literal sense,
• 3:44
  like your actual calendar, the shared calendar you probably
• 3:46
  have with a partner. And the calendar or the schedule
• 3:49
  of reflecting on how you spend your time.
• 3:52
  And are you spending your time in a way that really reflects
• 3:56
  your values, your own personal values, the values that you have
• 3:59
  with a partner, if that may be the case, and the values that
• 4:02
  you have as a family as well. If someone audited your week
• 4:07
  right now, I know this could be confronting, but if someone
• 4:09
  audited your week right now, what do you think that your
• 4:13
  schedule and where you spend your time and energy?
• 4:15
  What do you think it would say about you if this person didn't
• 4:18
  know you at all and they looked at your calendar and they looked
• 4:20
  at where you were spending your time and energy and thought
• 4:23
  calories? What do you think I would say
• 4:25
  about you? And that's what I want you to
• 4:27
  reflect on 1st So first we're going to talk about just
• 4:30
  auditing your time. Take a really non judgmental
• 4:34
  approach. That's the hardest part of this
• 4:35
  exercise is just remove all judgment possible.
• 4:39
  Think of it as being an external party, as if you were your best
• 4:42
  friend who was, you know, auditing your calendar.
• 4:44
  They would be doing with a lot more grace than you will do it
• 4:47
  for yourself. So we're going to talk about
• 4:48
  auditing your time, your calendar, your energy, where
• 4:51
  you're spending that. And then we're going to talk
• 4:53
  about the most important thing, which is what do you actually
• 4:55
  want? And that could be a whole other
• 4:57
  topic. I have a lot of podcast episodes
• 4:59
  on that topic of how do you really assess what you want in
• 5:03
  this life and your parenting journey in your career?
• 5:06
  And then we're going to talk about how the how the hell do
• 5:09
  you go and get it? Like how do you actually go out
• 5:11
  and make those tweaks and make those changes, whether they're
• 5:14
  really small micro changes that you could do today after
• 5:17
  listening to this episode, or whether it's a big change that
• 5:20
  you're going to start to put the energy and time into so that you
• 5:24
  can be paying off in dividends, you know, a few years down the
• 5:28
  line? I'm going to use two examples as
• 5:30
  we meander through this episode. And so the first example I'm
• 5:33
  going to give you is the person. This is probably pretty
• 5:36
  relatable for a lot of you, but this is the person who is
• 5:39
  feeling really run down and frankly pissed off about the
• 5:44
  fact that they are constantly driving their kids around.
• 5:47
  Like they just feel like they are spending.
• 5:49
  If this is you, you're spending all your time driving your kids
• 5:52
  from activity to activity. And the second example we're
• 5:55
  going to do is we're going to use my example of going back to
• 5:58
  work after maternity leave. And so I wanted to show you 2
• 6:02
  examples of how this might look, how you might move through this
• 6:05
  process based on where you're at currently.
• 6:08
  And so let's get into it. So number one, auditing where
• 6:12
  you're at sounds very simple. All you have to do is look at
• 6:15
  your calendar. You kind of see what was, what
• 6:17
  were the meetings that I had? What was I talking about?
• 6:19
  That's great, right? But let's just talk about the
• 6:22
  driving example. So you are driving around,
• 6:26
  driving your kids constantly from activity to activity, six
• 6:30
  days a week. Maybe you have one day off,
• 6:31
  you're driving your kids around and you're feeling so incredibly
• 6:35
  burnt out now. It's exhausting.
• 6:38
  And when you really dig deeper into that, it's not just about
• 6:42
  the driving, right? What I want you to, what do you
• 6:45
  want you to start to think about is instead of it just being an
• 6:48
  audit of like, oh, I don't want to drive anymore.
• 6:51
  What I want you to do is I really want you to dig deeper
• 6:54
  and go a couple layers deeper. So is it the driving that you're
• 6:57
  really upset about or is it what the driving is preventing you
• 7:02
  from getting to do? And so in this case, we'll call
• 7:04
  her Sally. Sally is just driving around to
• 7:07
  the hockey mom. She's just constantly driving
• 7:09
  and she's starting to get really pissed off.
• 7:11
  And she's like, OK, well, if I look at my calendar, it looks
• 7:15
  like I value driving or really looks like the I value my kids,
• 7:19
  like being at my kids every beck and call and that we're just
• 7:21
  constantly scheduled and we're super structured.
• 7:24
  And you know, that's not what we really value.
• 7:28
  We really value adventure and fun and flexibility.
• 7:31
  Getting to go for a random camping trip on a Thursday night
• 7:34
  just because. And what I want you to really
• 7:37
  think about is instead of just being like, oh, I hate driving
• 7:40
  or I don't value driving. It's not really about that.
• 7:42
  It's about going a couple layers deeper and thinking, OK, what if
• 7:45
  this is doing is this is actually preventing me from
• 7:49
  being out in the sunshine, going for a walk, going on adventures
• 7:53
  or spending time in an unstructured way as a family.
• 7:57
  And then in the example of me going back to work.
• 7:59
  So I was going back to work and Oh my goodness, I could tell you
• 8:03
  it was again, it was so weird being a career coach and going
• 8:07
  through that experience myself because I'm so hyper aware of my
• 8:10
  own thoughts. And I was going back and I
• 8:14
  started work and I, like I said, set up all the systems and I
• 8:17
  called back to work and I started realizing, holy shit.
• 8:21
  Like I really remember this moment where I was like, this
• 8:24
  ain't it, This ain't it. Like, and then cue the, Oh my
• 8:30
  gosh, the this audit I was doing was so negative.
• 8:33
  I was saying, I'm just another millennial who wants to jump
• 8:36
  jobs. I'm a quitter.
• 8:37
  I'm clearly never satisfied. And I was really telling myself
• 8:41
  this like story of what was really happening where I was
• 8:44
  like, I just don't want to be at this job or, or then I also
• 8:47
  started to do this thing where I was saying it's the company,
• 8:50
  it's the job, it's the role, it's everything and everybody
• 8:54
  else other than me, when really it was me all along and in the
• 8:58
  best way possible. And when I started to realize is
• 9:01
  what? And when I asked that question
• 9:03
  of what's really going on here, it was that I didn't want to be
• 9:08
  working for somebody else. And I had these huge dreams to
• 9:11
  work for somebody else. I want to work for myself and
• 9:15
  want to work for somebody else. I wanted to work for myself.
• 9:17
  And so this takes us into what do you really want?
• 9:19
  So once you're starting to audit things, you're auditing without
• 9:22
  that judgment. Like I said, you're really
• 9:24
  looking at what's happening and you're saying, OK, instead of
• 9:26
  just saying, I don't wanna drive or I don't want to be working
• 9:28
  for somebody else. Then you really deep, deep,
• 9:31
  deep, deep dive into, but what is it that I really, truly
• 9:35
  desire here? So first, you're taking that
• 9:38
  friction point. You're taking that point where
• 9:40
  it feels like there's like gears are grinding and you can really
• 9:44
  feel that like as I'm saying, this may be something's coming
• 9:46
  up for you where you're like, Oh my gosh, I know exactly what
• 9:48
  that thing is. That feels like it's really
• 9:50
  grinding me right now. And you're taking that as an
• 9:53
  interesting observation. And then from there, you're
• 9:57
  going down a layer deeper, again, without judgment.
• 9:59
  And you're saying, OK, but what do I really want?
• 10:02
  What is the actual desire here? So in the case of the mom who's
• 10:06
  driving around Sally, she what her true desire is to have more
• 10:10
  freedom, more flexibility, to be outside more and to not be
• 10:14
  sitting in her car. It wasn't the fact that she
• 10:17
  hated driving. She doesn't actually hate
• 10:18
  driving, but it's the fact that she felt like he was so tied to
• 10:23
  taking the kids around and that they didn't have freedom and
• 10:27
  flexibility because they were all in Rep hockey.
• 10:28
  And then in the case of me being at at my corporate job, when I
• 10:32
  went back to work, it was not that I didn't want to work for
• 10:36
  somebody else. Or it wasn't that I, I was like
• 10:38
  against working for the man. Or it wasn't that it was the job
• 10:41
  or the organization. I was making up all these
• 10:43
  excuses. But really, that's the tip of
• 10:45
  the iceberg, right? Like that's just what was
• 10:47
  visible to my naked eye. But as I really thought about it
• 10:50
  and really thought like, what do I really want?
• 10:53
  What I really wanted was to create something of my own.
• 10:57
  I wanted the risk. I wanted the stress, I wanted
• 11:00
  the time ownership, but it wasn't about like, oh, I just
• 11:02
  wanna go fuck off and like go to the beach every day with my
• 11:05
  kids. Yes, I want that, but I also
• 11:07
  wanted to be working towards something that I was creating.
• 11:11
  And that is a huge, huge value of mine is like creating and
• 11:14
  creative endeavors and building and getting to support people.
• 11:19
  And I started realizing that my calling was really in supporting
• 11:22
  parents, especially in their career in parenting journeys and
• 11:26
  making that all work. And so that is your step too.
• 11:29
  It actually, I find that to be the easiest part of it is really
• 11:33
  looking at the tip of the iceberg, having to confront what
• 11:35
  that discomfort is and then looking at what is it that you
• 11:39
  really, truly desire. And that's the fun part.
• 11:42
  So then what the heck do you do next?
• 11:45
  OK, now this is actually the fun part.
• 11:47
  This is when you get into the action and you actually start to
• 11:49
  decide what is it that you going to do about this?
• 11:52
  So you can go a million different ways.
• 11:53
  If you're in a place where you have 0 energy and you're so
• 11:58
  burnt out and you're just like, I need some quick wins here.
• 12:02
  This was, this was me a couple times in my parenting journey
• 12:05
  for sure when my husband's health was kind of going all
• 12:07
  over the place and sideways like we just needed some quick wins.
• 12:11
  I'm talking like somebody sent us a DoorDash gift card and that
• 12:14
  meant the world. And that was such a quick win to
• 12:17
  be like, you know what, we're getting DoorDash tonight.
• 12:19
  And that's such a small example, but like it can have a really
• 12:22
  big impact. Or as I was talking about those
• 12:25
  gears grinding and something just not quite feeling right.
• 12:28
  That could be something huge. That could be like you're in a
• 12:31
  career that you know is not right for you.
• 12:33
  And you know that the journey to get there might take a bit of
• 12:38
  time. But I'm telling you right here,
• 12:39
  right now, I'm looking you in the eye if you're watching this
• 12:41
  on YouTube or on social that it is possible for you.
• 12:45
  It might take a bit of time, but if you just put in the work now,
• 12:48
  I promise you it's going to pay off.
• 12:50
  So I had a podcast, as I know I'm forgetting who it was, but
• 12:54
  they said, you know, what would you in a year from now, what
• 12:59
  would you hope that you started today?
• 13:00
  And Oh my gosh, I was so floored when she said that.
• 13:03
  And I will make sure I find out who said that and I'll put it in
• 13:06
  the show description. But it was just that it was
• 13:10
  incredible. What a what a great thing to
• 13:11
  think about. Like in a year from now, two
• 13:14
  years from now, five years now, whatever that runway is for you,
• 13:17
  what would you hope that you started today?
• 13:19
  And so maybe this is the nudge for you to actually just think
• 13:22
  about what do you want to start today?
• 13:24
  So whether it's low hanging fruit and we're talking about
• 13:26
  DoorDash or Ubereats or it's some like massive I want to
• 13:29
  become the Prime Minister of Canada, Yeah, you go girl, you
• 13:33
  go. So here's what you're going to
• 13:35
  do. Doesn't matter what it is.
• 13:36
  First of all, pick the thing. What is the thing that feels
• 13:39
  like for you right now? Whether it's big or small is the
• 13:42
  thing that's coming up for you. And I know that there's
• 13:44
  something coming to mind, and I want you to just go with it, OK?
• 13:48
  This is just a thought experiment.
• 13:50
  And then #2 I want you to really think about, OK, why is this so
• 13:53
  hard? Like, why is that one thing feel
• 13:55
  so hard? What is it about it?
• 13:57
  And go through that experiment that we talked about where you
• 13:59
  can really tap into your wants and your true desires here.
• 14:03
  And then I want you to ask yourself, this is kind of a hard
• 14:05
  one. What does this really doing to
• 14:06
  me? So in the example with my
• 14:08
  husband, when he said you don't seem happy, that was everything.
• 14:11
  That was it for me. What was it doing to me?
• 14:13
  It was hurting my family, it was hurting my husband, it was
• 14:16
  hurting my daughter. And that punched me in the gut,
• 14:19
  right. And I want you to also think
• 14:21
  about what is this? What is this thing?
• 14:23
  By not addressing this thing, what is this taking away from me
• 14:27
  or what is it taking me away from?
• 14:30
  And that's that's that's a confronting one too.
• 14:32
  So by not doing anything like if you stayed the same today
• 14:37
  through to a year, nothing changes.
• 14:39
  Like what is the risk of that? That's a coach asked me that one
• 14:43
  time and I was like, that's a hard one, right?
• 14:47
  So I really want you to think, what is their risk of not doing
• 14:50
  anything here? And then I want you to kind of
• 14:53
  get a little tactical to put your put your hat on.
• 14:56
  That's like a more analytical type and think, OK, on a scale
• 14:58
  of zero to 10, what is the level of difficulty or what are the
• 15:03
  number of like steps? And like how hard is this going
• 15:06
  to be to achieve? Because I think community also
• 15:08
  need to do is remember that some things are hard and that's OK.
• 15:11
  We don't have to shit like you can do hard things.
• 15:13
  You don't have to shy away from hard things.
• 15:15
  But I just have to get honest with yourself about how hard is
• 15:17
  this. I had a client I've talked about
• 15:19
  before who was unreal. She was a developer.
• 15:23
  She was so good at her craft and she threw her work together,
• 15:27
  realized and recognized that in her 40s, she wanted to become a
• 15:31
  lawyer. And so for her, she was like, it
• 15:34
  was so interesting because I think what she would have said
• 15:36
  to that question, to answer that question for me, that would be
• 15:40
  10 out of 10 hardness. Like writing the LSAT again,
• 15:43
  which I've done before and I don't recommend, or like going
• 15:46
  through the process of applying to schools and then going into
• 15:49
  law school and then doing articling for me, 10 out of 10
• 15:52
  for her, she was really academically aligned.
• 15:55
  She was super passionate about what she wanted to do.
• 15:57
  I think she probably would have had an 8.
• 15:59
  So just to say that just because something feels like it could be
• 16:02
  to somebody else, like 10 out of 10 hardness for you, it actually
• 16:05
  might be because you're so motivated.
• 16:07
  Not that hard. So that's a side tangent, but
• 16:09
  how hard is it going to be and get clear on that.
• 16:12
  And then from there, of course, like any project, if you're, if
• 16:15
  you've ever done any sort of project management party
• 16:17
  planning, you've got to break it down into smaller steps.
• 16:20
  And you have to think about what's the first step here that
• 16:23
  I need to tackle? And as part of your first step,
• 16:26
  you really do need to think about who do I need to enroll?
• 16:29
  And so for me, when I was leaving my corporate job, or if
• 16:33
  you're leaving being a stay at home parent and you want to go
• 16:36
  back into the corporate world, you know, in any sort of
• 16:39
  transition, there's often people that we need to enroll, whether
• 16:42
  it's a mentor for some advice, whether it's somebody to give
• 16:45
  you a great reference, whether it's your partner to talk about,
• 16:47
  OK, how are we going to tackle childcare now?
• 16:50
  Um, you know, I used to be the primary child care caregiver and
• 16:55
  now we're going to need somebody to sort that out who's going to
• 16:57
  pick up the kids or, or in the, you know, other context of I was
• 17:01
  leaving my corporate job and I still did need the childcare
• 17:05
  that we had. And we had to talk about some
• 17:07
  financial things that were tricky and complicated.
• 17:10
  I was going from this salary that was very stable to wanting
• 17:13
  to pursue my own crazy entrepreneurial endeavors.
• 17:16
  And so that had to be a conversation as independent,
• 17:19
  fiercely independent as I am, we had to chat about that.
• 17:23
  And so who do you need to enroll and what are the next small
• 17:26
  steps that you can tackle in order to figure out how you're
• 17:30
  going to make this change? And so this is always what it
• 17:33
  comes down to, no matter what topic I'm talking about.
• 17:35
  Like right now, we're talking about calendars, We're talking
• 17:37
  about what it says about you and your values.
• 17:39
  And I'm talking about some really big examples here of
• 17:41
  leaving your job. But if you're looking at your
• 17:44
  calendar and you're realizing, wow, we have way too many plans
• 17:47
  on the schedule, you're allowed to say that that feels really
• 17:50
  hard to change. And that actually could feel
• 17:52
  really hard to change because that that requires enrolling
• 17:56
  your partner, but it also requires enrolling your children
• 18:00
  who have feelings and probably big feelings about the
• 18:02
  activities that they do. And what I would say to that,
• 18:05
  because if we're on that topic and if I was coaching you right
• 18:07
  now, I would say, OK, but what is the runway?
• 18:10
  What's the reasonable runway that you could take and, and
• 18:14
  journey on to make this change? And you might actually say, OK,
• 18:17
  you know what, in a year from now, I'd love it if each kid
• 18:21
  picked one activity that they were so passionate about and
• 18:25
  enrolled them in that decision. If they're old enough, I mean,
• 18:27
  my two and four year old would be like, huh.
• 18:29
  But if you enroll them and they're old enough to say,
• 18:32
  listen, the reason why we want you to each pick one activity,
• 18:36
  it's because as a family, we want to be able to just go on a
• 18:39
  whim and get our camper van or whatever it is you've got and go
• 18:43
  for an overnight camping trip where we want to be able to just
• 18:45
  like, you know, have fun and just have a bit more freedom,
• 18:48
  flexibility. If you want to have a night to
• 18:50
  just chill, veg out and watch TV, cool.
• 18:52
  If we want to go for a stand up paddle, great.
• 18:54
  You know, as a family, we really value adventure and that's why
• 18:59
  we're doing this. And so I hope you can start to
• 19:01
  see that these things are possible.
• 19:03
  Sometimes there's a bigger runway that's required.
• 19:05
  But if you are then looking at your calendar and you're
• 19:08
  enrolling your family and you're really thinking about your
• 19:11
  values, then you'll be looking at that Thunder and a year from
• 19:14
  now and you'll be saying, wow, I drive my kids to these two
• 19:18
  activities. But the rest of the time we are
• 19:20
  living our values of adventure and exploration and flexibility.
• 19:26
  And I think when you, I don't think I know when you are
• 19:30
  happier and you feel like you're really living out your values
• 19:33
  and you're instilling the values in your family that are really
• 19:36
  positive and healthy. And you can just, you feel let
• 19:39
  up. Your partner feels let up.
• 19:41
  Your kids will feel lit up from that.
• 19:42
  They're going to look back. They might grumble that they
• 19:44
  can't play like the T-ball that they didn't actually really
• 19:47
  like, but their friends were on the team.
• 19:48
  But later on, 5/10/20 years down the line, and they're probably
• 19:52
  not gonna remember that and be there.
• 19:55
  What they're going to remember is the values and how they felt
• 19:59
  when you guys were almost adventures when you decided to
• 20:01
  pack up in the camper van on a Thursday night and just go for
• 20:04
  it, go down to wherever. Um, I mean, how fun does that
• 20:08
  sound? And like I said, these are some
• 20:11
  big, really big examples that I'm giving.
• 20:12
  But this is such an important thing to constantly be thinking
• 20:16
  about. And I'd be remiss if I didn't
• 20:18
  say that this is not something that you just do once you set it
• 20:20
  and forget it. My kids are two and four right
• 20:22
  now and we don't have a lot of activities, but I know that in a
• 20:26
  couple of years there's going to be decisions that are had that
• 20:28
  are going to be made around things.
• 20:30
  Like this or work context might change.
• 20:32
  Currently, my husband and I are actually both self-employed.
• 20:36
  We're with contractors, but who knows, maybe he'll get a full
• 20:38
  time job that he'd like to, you know, pursue.
• 20:41
  And maybe the conversation will have to continue changing and
• 20:44
  we're going to have to continue doing this process of auditing
• 20:46
  our time, our schedule and how our values are aligning with
• 20:50
  that. And then we're going to have to
• 20:51
  really think about, you know, what is it that we've truly want
• 20:54
  and desire. And then, OK, what are some
• 20:57
  steps to kind of rejig and reformulate things when when our
• 21:01
  daughter was really little and she was, you know, a year old,
• 21:05
  not even a year old. I think when she was kind of in
• 21:07
  like really early days, my husband and I were actually
• 21:09
  having probably weekly conversations and we call them
• 21:12
  recalibration sessions where we would actually talk about how
• 21:16
  things were going and what we could optimize or change.
• 21:18
  And that is totally what I think you can and should do when it
• 21:22
  comes to this as well. And I think I hooked you in here
• 21:26
  by talking about the fact that your calendar says a lot about
• 21:29
  who you are and who your family is.
• 21:32
  But what I think you're probably starting to realize is though,
• 21:34
  the calendar is just the tip of the iceberg.
• 21:38
  Everything comes down to who you are in your heart.
• 21:40
  And if you are living out your values in the work that you do
• 21:44
  in the way that you parent and the way that you show up.
• 21:46
  And I don't want you to have that situation where somebody
• 21:49
  sits you down and says, you seem miserable and it's affecting the
• 21:52
  rest of us. And so I implore you to go and
• 21:56
  just have a think about what is lighting up in your gut right
• 21:59
  now as I speak to you in your ears or if you're watching this,
• 22:02
  the video, and I want you to think about what is that one
• 22:06
  thing that you could explore and take yourself through this
• 22:09
  process. Listen to this episode again.
• 22:11
  What is that one thing that you feel like would have a pretty
• 22:15
  big ripple effect on not only yourself, but on your family.
• 22:19
  So thanks for listening. I hope you enjoy.
• 22:21
  And as always, the episode notes will be in the show notes.
• 22:25
  Head over to the blog to see all of the tips and tricks.
• 22:28
  I don't need you to have to write down all your notes and
• 22:30
  everything like that. So thanks again for listening
• 22:33
  and I'll catch you next time.