Latest / The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell / #15 - Tackling Fear, Taking Action, and the Secret to Big Life Transitions With Kristen Esquivias

Transcript

#15 - Tackling Fear, Taking Action, and the Secret to Big Life Transitions With Kristen Esquivias · The iAlign Podcast with Flint Mitchell

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, before this podcast starts, I want to mention an opportunity that the episode guest has for the listeners.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Kristina Skivias is a certified executive coach in supporting individuals, groups, and organizations to reach the next level of success.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: She partners with her clients every step of the way to achieve results, strengthen their resilience, and create more fulfillment in work and beyond.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen co-created Going After More, a collection of group workshop series designed to guide you towards creating an extraordinary life with meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're interested in getting on the path to create more for yourself and your life, check out GoingAftermore.com.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen's information can also be found in the podcast description.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And now to the podcast.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Flint Mitchell, and I get absolutely psyched by having conversations with authentic people that I admire about the things they value.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Their stories and perspectives don't just make me smile, laugh, and think.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: They inspire me to wake up earlier, listen better, focus, and work harder, and help make me a better version of myself.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's my hope that sharing these conversations through this podcast might do the same thing for you.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: In this episode, I talk with Kristen Esquivias.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Kristen and I met through yoga and we've had a wonderful series of conversations over the past several years.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: She helped me embark on my adventure last year, and I really value her experience and what she has to say.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Over the past several years, she's transitioned from a career in business analytics at companies like Safeway and Sephora to an exciting new journey as an executive and life coach and yoga instructor.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Here, we talk a bit about Kristen's experience of making such a big switch, all while balancing a handful of heavy responsibilities.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like being in charge of a newly formed team at a successful company, while having a mortgage and new kids.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Likewise, we talk about this new adventure of hers, what it means to be a coach and the mindset it requires to make leaps towards a better life.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: I really enjoy her take on leading an action-oriented life, and I know you will too.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoy.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because we have all these stories and living beliefs about who we are and who we're not and what we can do and what we can't do, and the fear, like the fear gets so big.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just what's the next best step you can take?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started seeing the ways that I was practicing in the class was actually the way that I was living life.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: In training, I could see, like, okay, I'm pretty good at this, but then I started getting proof and evidence.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: This is this idea of like we have to take action.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: We can build up the evidence inside of ourselves to then say, Oh, now I started feeling more confident.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then what would it look like if I were to leave and go out and do this new thing?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: My dream job, you know, if I that question of like, if you've never had to work a day and you didn't have to worry about making any money, like what would you do?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, I'd teach yoga at the beach.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'd have a little beach shack and I would just teach yoga at the beach.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, then I gotta go get my teacher training.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for doing this with me, Kristen.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate it.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we met briefly after I started doing yoga regularly at Dragonfly over in Dublin, which I believe coincided with when you started teaching and kind of with a big moment in your life while you were switching careers.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: But before getting to that transition, I'd love to know why you chose statistics in college and then what the experience was like working in that field.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you worked a pretty corporate job for big, big companies, right?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Gap, Safeway, Sephora, stuff like that.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Could you tell me about that experience?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, it's so fascinating because when, you know, you're 16, 17, 18, trying to figure out what am I doing with my life, I followed the advice of some people that are closest to me that I love and respect quite a bit, and that being my mom and my grandfather.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: My grandfather always inspired me because he was an educator and really committed to um serving others and helping people in his community, both as a teacher and a superintendent, principal.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: So very involved in the education system, but then also in his church.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Kristen, like the world needs good teachers.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: You should be a teacher.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom went and my mom, who um didn't get a chance to go to college, was like, you should apply to college in math because math is an it's like an easier major to get into.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like you're really good at math.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they need more women in math.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, for me, this like transition into college was all about following something that I was good at.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I also really liked math.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like I liked logic and numbers, and it came easily to me.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: But then as I got into my math, like upper division math classes, it became very esoteric.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with this.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I finally took my first stats class after putting it off for a couple of years, and you were like a junior in college, junior in college, yeah.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I I loved it.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: I had a phenomenal teacher.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: He was fairly new to the faculty, and I was like, this is the best of math, but it's applied.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I can see how you would use this and what you would do with it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I switched majors at the beginning of my fourth year of college, and my parents were like, Oh my god, what do you what do you mean you're switching your major?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I went to Cow Poly in San Luis Obispo where you had to declare your major when you started.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I was pretty far into were those not in the same department though.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: They were, but you know, I was pretty far into my math curriculum.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so I ended up minoring with in math, but I I also had a full year of physics under my belt as part of that requirement to have a math degree, which I haven't found a use for that, but that's a separate story for a separate time.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I maybe this is a little bit of a tangent to your original question, but I'm just gonna throw it in because it's important.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: Please I loved psychology.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I took a psych class in my senior of high school and so started dabbling in psychology and sociology and just find people so interesting.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: And um, there was a part of me that was like, should I go to statistics or should I go into psychology?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was like, Well, if I go psych, then I need to get a PhD, and that's a long road ahead.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: So went into stats, loved it, but it was a fairly new um idea that there was a statistics undergrad.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so I remember going to career fairs and all these companies, you know, talking to pretty well-known companies and consulting firms.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And the consulting firms wanted statistics statisticians, but I didn't know that I wanted to travel.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like pretty and you know, I've heard a lot about the grueling life of a consultant.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of time on planes.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I had to go out and sell myself quite a bit about why stats majors made great employees.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And in doing that, I ended up getting some of my friends their first internships because I actually had multiple to choose from and I recommended them.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I uh was like, okay, well, I'm I'm actually gonna go intern at the gap.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: But here's a couple of my like trusted classmates that are really phenomenal and helped get their foot indoors.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: But then, you know, this my corporate career, 15 years in corporate retail, was always led by this desire to, you know, lean into the things that I was good at, which started out as analytics.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um started at the gap and worked my way through different parts of that organization.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it was my ability to like understand the numbers and then tell a story and then help people understand that story in such a way that we could drive new strategies and change the way we did certain things.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of fun.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was it so it sounded like it was there was always kind of this focus on the people aspect of it of bringing bringing what you were good at to people.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so then as my I kind of grew in my career, got to start leading people and managing other people, and worked my way up through the leadership ranks into some more senior positions when my last job went Sephora.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: And people just, I just love working with people.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: And as much as I was like really analytically, mathematically strong, and I can like kick any Excel spreadsheets ass, like I got Excel down and I can code, and I would never like I remember taking coding classes in college.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm never gonna be a coder and like writing some badass code in when I was at Safeway and when I was at Sephora.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Super applicable.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is analytics.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but then you know, as I started managing one person, two person, and then my team grew, it was less about being in the details and the nuances, even though that's like it was fun.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was like a little puzzle for me to figure out how the things worked together.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: I got to start thinking more holistically about like how do you set a vision and how do you lead a team and how do you influence stakeholders?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: And especially at Sephora, when I was brought on to build and develop and establish a whole new team.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it wasn't like oh, here's a set of responsibilities and people know how to work with you.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's you're really smart and you're really good at this thing that you that you built a career doing.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: So now I need you to help this organization that's by the way, thriving.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, start to think about the customer and how do we really understand who the customer is and then use those insights to identify opportunities for merchandising or how we market, what we market, and come up with new ways to just really be thoughtful about putting the customer front and center.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Did it feel like a risk jumping from a place where you're managing an existing group to kind of creating a new department?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, totally.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, Safeway was going through a merger, and I was like, I'm not moving to Boise, Idaho, if that is what ends up happening.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was a few months pregnant with my second kid.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like, oh my gosh, I'm pregnant and I'm starting a new job.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, this company is thriving and there's somewhat of an appetite for what you have to offer, but like you're gonna have to go sell it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: If they're already doing well, then you're gonna have to convince them of your worth as you're working.
• 11:16
  unknown: Yeah.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's heavy.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: But the risk factor, I think, was reduced by the fact that I was going to work for a boss that I'd worked with for several years together before.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we had a really strong foundation of trust and rapport and respect and admiration for one another, which that made the jump a lot easier.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Were there any moments during that transition where you just kind of sat back and were like, shit, I'm so overwhelmed?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, every single day almost.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I remember like my doing my first big analysis to the head of merchandising, giving her these insights.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like purely coming at it from this mindset of, you know, working at Safeway, the grocery store.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: People come into the grocery store weekly, but some people buy makeup like a handful of times a year, maybe.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it just it's such a different mindset.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, I understand what you're saying, but these principles and concepts, they might have worked in grocery, but I don't know if they're gonna work in beauty.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to act, it's a hard sell then.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: It was a pretty hard sell.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: What was the what was maybe the most challenging aspect of of selling that then?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, when I um in hindsight, I think it was me at first, you know, I tried to come to the table like, here's all the things that I can do for you.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: Versus now what I've learned is ask questions, like ask a lot of questions.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: What are you really struggling with?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like what's a pain point for you?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Or where do you see their opportunity?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: And like ask more and listen more, talk a bit less.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: So then you're able to meet people where they are and give them like what are some, what's the low-hanging fruit that we can address?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Get those quick wins to build the rapport and the relationship, that then we can start white space, like getting into the white space and ideating together.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: No, that seems like a very valuable skill of of you know doing more fundamental research up front.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: And asking, I think that's a big one, is asking the customer what they want before just I think that's a pretty classic thing with engineers is you put them in a room and they build the entirely, they build a fantastic product that doesn't do anything the customer wants.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So no, that's that's cool.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Was that the first was that kind of the capstone of learning that that skill?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Was there or were you learning that over a long period of time?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still learning that skill.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Still learning.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's like I don't want to sell stuff to people.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: My like what my hang up is is I know that I have a ton to offer.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was in analytics, it was I'm so smart, I can get access to any and all data.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: And just tell me what it is you you need or you want, and I can get it for you.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that came with building trust and relationships that then people would be more open and receptive to working with me.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: But in the corporate space, people are so busy and there's so much up demand on their time and their work that they they rely on the tools and the information and the people that they already have and they already know.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes it could just be challenging to like think about it from a new perspective or uh a willingness, right?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd say now with my work as a coach, it's how do I give people space to really explore these vulnerable parts?
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because now it's not just driving your business, it's driving your life.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, who do you want to be in the world?
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what do you want to be creating for yourself?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: What does a good life look like?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, what?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: Heavy questions.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just trying to get up and down my bed every day.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Heavy questions.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's what sounds like it's you said you didn't want to sell.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: It sounded it sounds like you want to serve instead of sell.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's the point of asking questions up front, understanding what the person wants.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: So then during this whole corporate experience or this whole first career, where did you or when did you start practicing yoga?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, you know, I got a little bit of exposure to yoga in college, and then it was a practice that I just kind of dabbled in and out of off and on throughout my whole time working.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I was living in the East Bay and commuting in San Francisco, so I would spend anywhere from like two to three hours a sometimes three and a half hours a day commuting.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: So did not really give myself a lot of time and space to be able to work out.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: But when I was at Safeway, um, my commute was 15 to 30 minutes, different points during that time.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: And uh we had a gym on site, which is where I met Stacey, the owner of Dragonfly in Dublin.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so she used to teach lunchtime classes and then a class one night after work.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then so I started taking from her and then followed her to where she was teaching at a different studio at the time.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just like I could go to yoga for an hour in the middle of the day, and I'd come back just rejuvenated and refreshed and like loving life and feeling so good and like refocused, and I'd have like the best, I would be like the best days.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so it just for me became this, you know, it started as like I think many of us, and especially in the US, like we go to yoga because it's like, oh, we know it's so good for our body.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: But it really helped me calm and manage my stress and anxiety in a way that I don't know if back then I would have said that, knowing what I know now, but I recognize looking back that it really did help me with focus and reducing stress and being more present.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, absolutely.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's I think that's a actually also a pretty poignant thought is that it's kind of hard to appreciate that except for in reflection.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because you don't really, it's kind of like why I think meditation is hard for people to grasp is because you don't come out of it a different person.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't you don't sit for five minutes and then pop up like a new day.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's it's kind of all in reflection.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: And we're like a culture that we love instant gratification, right?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I can go to the nail salon and get a nice manicure and then come home and be like, hmm, look at my nice nails, right?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: But you like meditate and you're like back in with your day.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's no it does, there's no tangible evidence unless you go and like look within yourself for it.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: It is there.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: No, absolutely.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's why personally breathing exercises are really powerful because I think you get a more tangible, immediate response from breathing exercises, and I think they're similar to meditation.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I always promote breathing exercises to people instead of meditation.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think they're both valuable though.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: What kind of breathing exercises I want to learn from you?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh mostly I started doing them because of surfing, so a lot of breath holds, breath work, um mostly for calmness under w underwater or just being in the water or being in larger surf or dangerous situations, calming yourself down.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um because in the ocean it's not there's no stop button.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's pretty easy to be in a place where you're uncomfortable and then it to spin and cycle out of control.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: If you become if you start to panic, right?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: You it doesn't really matter.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: You're still there.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so breath exercises, I think the most powerful one for people to just start doing are uh breathe in, a hold, breathe out, and then a hold.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I think the most powerful one is seven seconds.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think I I I'm not gonna cite any sort of science behind this, but I think a somewhat longer breath hold, like seven seconds, and maybe you have to work up to that, is pretty calming and intense, and also helps you work on physically holding your breath for longer periods of time.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: For maybe for maybe the the beginner, the person that hasn't practiced, I always I always recommend start with four count.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I call it four count box breathing.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Breathe in for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: The other one I really like is the one I try to do in the mornings, which is box breathing, but every cycle you go up a second.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that one is both calming, but it's also definitely with breath work.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you're up to 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 seconds, it's you know, not just 45 seconds of a breath hold.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a third of that is has oxygen and a third of it has none.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: So you get to a point where you really need to breathe.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you're a bit of an extremist when it comes to some things, having known a little bit about you, but potentially.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think even just sitting with yourself and your breath for one minute is such a gift because like when I notice, I'm if you know, like I get I'm I wish I could say I'm like this dedicated practicer of meditation, and as much as I want to be, I steer away from it and I fall off the wagon.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: And when I come back to it, it's like wow, have you been breathing?
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's just these short little shallow sips of air moving in and out of my body.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I need to like really get in some deep breaths.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: So even if you just take three big deep conscious breaths, like yeah, that can even be super impactful.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: Totally.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think, and I think this is actually a big issue with people's understanding of meditation.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: We were kind of talking about this beforehand, or any habit really, is that people expect perfection.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think that that's necessary.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like you don't have to meditate every day, you don't have to do breathing exercises every day.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: You just do it every once in a while or try to do it more often.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's it, it's just trying.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do it a little more often.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: But the feeling of a really deep breath where it kind of relaxes your back is a moment of that moment that kind of brings you back.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that's, I think, the moment of reflection where you get that kind of softening of your back and you go, Oh wow, I haven't done this in a while.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's cool.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: So you've been you were practicing yoga for a long time then before you decided to do a teacher training.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's two kind of avenues that people take to do teacher trainings.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: One is they want to practice, or one is they want to quote unquote deepen their practice.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or one is you want to teach versus deepen your practice.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Which route do you think you were going in your head?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um probably both.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, so for me, the way that it happened was I wanted to get back into yoga.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I started, I bought membership to like a chain gym that was half a block from my office in San Francisco that had lunchtime yoga.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, it's not the best yoga class I've ever been to, but you know what?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's a yoga class, and so I committed to it.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd go twice a week.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I was having a pretty stressful time at work and decided I'm gonna I need to take a day off just for myself.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I went back to Stacy's class.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: And at the time, that was when she'd opened Dragonfly and Livermore.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I hadn't seen her for probably four years, maybe.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, I'm never gonna see Stacy again because she only teaches on the weekdays and a livermore, which is like the opposite direction of where I go to work.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was like, well, that's a limiting belief.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: I need I'm just gonna take a day off and I'm gonna go see her.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I walked up to the studio and walked in her class and, you know, biggest hug and welcoming and so much love and respect for each other.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: And a month later, the second studio opened in Dublin.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: And then a month after that, teacher training started, and she was she just kind of dropped the seed and was like, I think you should do teacher training.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I've always wanted to do teacher training because I wanted to, I did want to deepen my practice.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've been practicing off and on for I don't know, maybe 12 something years.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: And my dream job, you know, if I that question of like, if you've never had to work a day and you didn't have to worry about making any money, like what would you do?
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, I'd teach yoga at the beach.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'd have a little beach shack and I would just teach yoga at the beach.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, then I gotta go get my teacher training.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I signed up for teacher training, and I was like, I hadn't, I honestly had no idea what I was in for.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't researched it, I didn't look at their program versus any other programs.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know anything about the philosophy of yoga.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just thought I'm just gonna go and get strong and learn more about how to teach and more about these poses that I practiced for all these years.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll probably maybe I'll teach like a day a week and I'll have a really good practice.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'll be more in my own practice.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: But what ends up happening to anybody that's ever been through a teacher training is you learn it's such a journey inward.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: And it it's it's an incredible gift to myself.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was a huge commitment, you know.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: I had I still have them, but they were a lot younger to my two young kids.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was gone for probably 10 hours every Saturday and Sunday for three and a half months.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: Can you explain what it means a journey within yourself?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you're practicing for hours on your mat, and you just start moving around some stagnant energy that's been stuck inside you, and and you tend to look at like, why do I push my like for me?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I push myself so hard?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they say if you want to rest, go to child's pose.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: I never rest, I'm not going to child's pose, I never push.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: And like, where does that show up off my mat?
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I started seeing the ways that I was practicing in the class was actually the way that I was living life, like over pushing, trying so hard, comparing myself to other people.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like everybody in teacher training could do a handstand.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: I never did handstand, I still don't do handstands, like I'm which is a whole other topic, right?
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: But like then I could judge myself, like, oh, am I not strong enough?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: Am I not good enough?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: And these stories that come up when you're practicing for so many hours and you're in this really tight-knit group, I can start to see how I'm walking around my life with these same things and stories running through my head.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And when do you ever have eight hours of, you know, no phones, no distractions?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're just looking at yourself on your map.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Plus, then you're looking at what's the meaning of life?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, with the philosophy of yoga.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, I think we all get to define what our own meaning of life is, but for me, I've got my ideas what I'm making the meaning of my life.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: We get to look at that stuff, yeah.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it takes a lot of courage and takes a lot of um like expansiveness and openness to be willing to even look through the lens of Buddhism and the history of yoga to get to gain some of the new practices and the philosophies and the ways of being that are taught through the through this teacher training program and see, you know, which ones resonate with you, which ones are you willing to just try and see if they make sense and you want to incorporate them or not incorporate them, but recognize your choice, and there's more than one way to doing life than how you've always done life up until this and teacher training was like a great chance for me to kind of continue looking at that.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: Is that yeah, like resonating with you, or is it a little bit still too like abstract?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: What I got from that, and I'll try to summarize kind of concisely, was tying it back to what you said, it was a journey inside.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: It was really the journey was becoming okay with being vulnerable to yourself.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because it sounds like a lot of that description was introspection, and I think that's a big part of yoga, is it's not when you really f figure out that it's not about the other people in the room, it's about what's going on in with you, is and you said it takes courage, right?
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: It takes courage to be vulnerable to yourself.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: Willingness to look at yourself and what matters to you and what are you gonna do about it.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I I really actually almost forgot to say this.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: I love that perspective of putting what you were doing in in the yoga studio in parallel with what you were doing in the because I I would imagine that there are probably activities that anyone does.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be yoga or anything remotely spiritual.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you could reflect on any any activity you do in life.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: How you drive your car.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: How you drive your car.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Do you put your turn signals on?
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_01: Do you like cut people off?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, taking your time with the windows down and the music on.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: When did you learn all these terms?
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Was it when you're training to become a coach?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: What terms?
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like it seems like you have a vocabulary set up for this kind of discussion.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love this stuff, so yeah.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been a lifelong progression.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: I guess so.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't know.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the question is.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's fair.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: I love talking about this stuff though.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: It gets me fired up.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Is that why you enjoyed psychology in in college?
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just so cool.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like sociology classes and understanding the dynamics within a culture and society and the different like stages of childhood and looking at it through different lenses of great psychologists.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's it's always been this innate thing in me that maybe I didn't really recognize until more recently, you know, my ripe old age of 37.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: But as a kid, you know, I've just always been really inquisitive and curious and asked a lot of whys and trying to figure it out, like just trying to figure it out, always trying to figure it out.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think part of why I liked math and numbers growing up is you could get to an answer.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: And now I'm okay with the ambiguity most of the time and uncertainty of interpretation, and like we get to make up our own meaning.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's been different parts of my life where I honestly hate it because you can't get to a right answer.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so that feels so vulnerable because it's if it's subjective and it can change, then what do we have to hold on to?
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good question.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess it's depend completely dependent on your context, right?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and the meaning that you want to give it and that you want to make of it.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that kind of ties into something I I'd like to ask about, which is you are in a pretty intense position, right?
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: New kids or new kid pregnant with another kid, switching jobs.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: How do you handle that kind of pressure and the how do you create the courage in order to make a jump like that?
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then I guess it's maybe you do this all the time though, because then you took the second jump and you went completely into yoga and coaching, right?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: How do you build up the courage to make those big jumps?
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm, part of me, my instant is like, I don't know, you just do it, but I'm gonna give myself some credit here.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think it is really just that though.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like you just do it.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think some of the decisions and choices I've made have been because I was so fed up with something.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: And it kind of speaks to this idea of like pain.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: The pain becomes so great of staying where you are, that then you're like, okay, I can either stay here and to be dramatic, suffer, or I could do something.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm a pretty action-oriented person, and I've have a lot of drive.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: And when I want something, I go after it and I get it.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like I just do, and I have a lot of experience doing that, and so it's just the practicing to say, what is it I really want and and go for it?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: Is there fear?
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, fear, yes.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was en route to become a VP at some point at my last job, and it's very stressful job, but you know, you're at a position that your influence expands, your earnings expand, new opportunities open up.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I looked at that path and I just was like, I just I don't know if that's really for me.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: I really, you know, and I could do it and I would be great at it.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I people love working for me, I love working with them, and yeah, I have a great track record of success and impact.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: What then because initially you told me you said it was kind of frustration being fed up with where you were, but then the second reason was you weren't really satisfied with what it was going to give you in the future.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: Are those both true or is it was one of those more prominent?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think then this second career shift into coaching was really more about what's the like dream future that I'm working towards?
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I could have been pretty happy doing what I was doing.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted something where I woke up, it was like really deeply fulfilled.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like success.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: I just hit this point in my life and my career where you know I'm married and I have two healthy, beautiful, amazing kids, and we have our home.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like kind of the checklist of like, okay, I've met my goals.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay, now and now what am I gonna do?
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like, am I gonna keep commuting three and a half hours a day and spending an hour with my kids every day?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like my kids, I didn't I didn't even really like know their personalities very well, it felt like because I wasn't even home for them and my relationship with my husband, like we barely spent any time together, and I didn't get to see my friend.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's all these things I that weren't there that are important to me.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so it was I remember sitting on the couch one night thinking and telling my husband, like, I want to wake up like so excited about the work I'm doing every day that I'm I know I'm making a difference, and not just making a difference and helping our business make more money and like do a you know, have more be more successful, but like like truly impact the world.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I I get kind of overwhelmed by my own ambition with this.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: But I really want to be somebody that inspires others and like makes an impact in their life and helps them to see their own magnificence.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like humans are so incredible, and we're capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I really want to help people see that in themselves so that they can feel fulfilled in their life.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's powerful.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so then I was like, well, I have no idea what that's gonna be.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to teacher training and then I did teacher training, and in the middle of teacher training, I was like, oh, I love this, but I don't think it's teaching yoga.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's gonna be the thing.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's gonna be coaching, but I don't know if I'm ready.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like I at that point I hadn't thought, oh, I'm gonna go leave this amazing career I've built and the possibilities that are still ahead for me, and go be a coach and be an entrepreneur, which I thought I never would be an entrepreneur.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: And do this thing called coaching.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: But I tried it, so I took a class and I was like, well, I'm pretty good at this.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna help me be a good boss.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna take a couple more classes, and my company supported me through that.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: And my team loved it.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, wow, you're like, this is so great.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was coaching them and being a better leader, and they were growing and flourishing.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then I talked to my boss, I put a case together to HR and started coaching internally at my company.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was seeing like, not only am I a good leader, but now like I actually I am a good coach.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, kind of thought I, you know, in training, I could see like, okay, I'm pretty good at this, but then I started getting proof and evidence.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is this idea of like we have to take action.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we can build up the evidence inside of ourselves to then say, Oh, now I started feeling more confident.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then what would it look like if I were to leave and go out and do this new thing?
• 37:34
  unknown: Yeah.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I would never do.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great story because it really supports acting, just doing something right now.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to quit your job, you just have to start on the path to something that you enjoy, right?
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it was that path, it was just jumping into it.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't actually know that you did that internally before you made the switch.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: But it makes sense, right?
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: You get confidence from practicing that skill.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_00: And then as you get better, you with that confidence, you think of other opportunities you could do with it.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe, maybe it wouldn't have led to you doing your own coaching thing.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it would have just made you a far better VP or whatever was next in your path.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I had some badass coaches that were coaching me to get over myself because we have all these stories and living beliefs about who we are and who we're not and what we can do and what we can't do, and the fear, like the fear gets so big.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just what's the next best step you can take?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_01: And who do you know that you can talk to to gain more information?
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: And there's like something of like taking the leap and just going after it, but you know, I I was also battling with like I have responsibilities, I have a mortgage, I have a husband, I have kids to provide for, and preschool is expensive.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like we have a lot of things going on in life.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just like la la la, I'm gonna go be a coach, you know.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's inspirational because it I I I'm pretty firmly believe that most people have their story of why things aren't working or why things are too overwhelming right now to make any change, right?
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: At at pretty much any point in life, right?
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're in you're in college, so you're focusing on school and then getting a job, and then you graduate and you're in your job, and so you don't want to switch careers because you have to put a certain amount of commitment in, and then you know, family or whatever it is, you always have a reason.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty much at any point in life, you probably have a reason to not start.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and there's there's gonna there's always gonna be a reason if you look for them.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: There's always a reason to start.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: What how do you find the reasons to start?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, when I worked with my very first coach, so he said something to me in our first session that I was like mind blowing.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: And now I just like we giggle about it because we've become good friends and we work together.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I was I like I just couldn't believe it.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, a fulfilling life is a life where you live in accordance to your values, and I was like, it's that simple.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I want to feel fulfilled, I just need to honor myself.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's not easy.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, well, what are my values?
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: Where do I find those things?
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and so then became the journey of like, well, not get rid of that whole question, which is horrible.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to be when you grow up?
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: I still don't know.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: But for now, I call myself a coach.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think he so then the second thing that he said that has changed my life is, what do you want to be about?
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: Not what do you want to be?
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to be about?
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just started thinking, like, yeah, what do I want to be about?
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want to be about authenticity and compassion and connection.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: And if I were to like really wake up every day and connect to those three things and then lead my teams, engage with my family, like the random people on the BART train, and and just even myself, like showing up for myself, those things, like giving myself compassion, just giving myself time to connect to the things that spark joy within me.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what would that be like?
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I came up with this list and I still have it.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things was go teach yoga.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I went and did yoga training, right?
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: But we have a choice every day of like what's something that's important to us and what's one action I can take today.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have this huge value of fun.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I love fun and adventure.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's kind of in a rut the other day.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: We've had a lot of stuff going on.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had my appendix taken out, my father-in-law passed away last month.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: We're still sheltering in place.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've got this whole long list, right?
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I shared that some of that with you the other day.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I could sit here and play me.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I did.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I had a coaching session.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: And on a scale of one to 10, I was like, I'm a three, like so uninspired and blah right now.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so we started thinking, like, what do I want to do?
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, need a 10.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be like pumped up, amped up, fired up, waking up, so excited for life.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, okay, well, what's one thing you could do?
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so we came up with a couple of ideas.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I ended up doing something that wasn't even on that list.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: But that night, I like packed a picnic, I threw the family in the car at five o'clock, and we drove to the beach and we just had a picnic at the beach for dinner.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like just got out.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was so it was fun.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: I love the ocean.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, what's something that you love that you haven't done in a long time?
• 42:50
  unknown: Yeah.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: Or what's the value?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what's something that's really important to you?
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's connection, like pick up the phone and call your best friend and just talk for 10 minutes.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it's I love that example.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's really wonderful because it's exemplifies how easy it is.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to change the world right now in order to pick yourself up.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like you don't have to go to teacher training, which is just that's a big commitment, right?
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a huge yeah, it's a big step, right?
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you don't have to go get a new degree and change your career today if you're kind of unhappy with where you're at right now, but maybe read a book or talk to someone in a new career.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what's a small thing?
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: I liked your your previous commentary on the question, who do you what do you want to be about?
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think it's it's relevant to like the topic of legacy and leaving a legacy.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, very few gravestones, I would imagine, Reed was a great CEO.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it's not to say that that isn't very value, being a you know, a business person isn't valuable, it's to say that the things when people Remember, you are more about who you were, what you were about, right?
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_00: He was loving, he was kind, he connected, he was a good manager because of those things, and those things probably made him the good CEO.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, that's not that's not on the gravestone.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, right?
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: It just opens, it's like more expansive, it opens up your eyes to new possibilities that you wouldn't have otherwise thought.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can't go on LinkedIn or Indeed and look for a job that says, I want to be about authenticity.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: But if that's the lens that you're looking at jobs through, oh, how might I show up as my authentic self in that?
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: Have you read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck?
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have not.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: It is on my list.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a fantastic book.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: It has a great segment on it on deciding the things that are valuable in life or what your priorities are.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the kind of the summary is well, really, it's don't pick shitty values.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: But he qualifies those kind of in things that are that have a limit or an end.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if your goal is have$10,000, when you get to$10,000, you look back and you go, all right, well, I have$10,000 now.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_02: Cool.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: But if your value is, you know, integrity, or for you, it sounds like the top one is is acting, like you really value going out and doing things that make your position better in life.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's it sounds like you have a lot of things that you have clearly declared that are valuable, but it seems like what's really important to you is acting those out.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um so if that's your value instead of$10,000, like every day is an opportunity to continue living that value up.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: And what I would say if the goal is$10,000, then why does that matter?
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: What's the purpose?
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_01: What I I wanna what I want to offer people that are gonna be listening to this is that maybe that is the thing, right?
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because maybe you've never had$10,000 in your bank account, or maybe you grew up in, I don't know, whatever the circumstances are, sure, right?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to make anybody's goal right or wrong.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's yeah, there's always a deeper meaning.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: So what would it mean to you to have that?
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then why does that matter?
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you answer that like five times and keep going down to why, you'll get to a value.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like for me, going through the next like I had this vision of speaking on stage in front of a large audience.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna put a number to it, but a large audience, like someday.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that, yeah, there's a bit of ego in there of like, yeah, I would be on a big stage.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: But really, when I get down to it, it's I just have this huge value around impact and service.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I am a self-help junkie now.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna proclaim, like I'm gonna own it.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like I love reading, I love doing my work.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I'm like, I'm doing my work and it's so hard, but I love it.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: And there's so much that I've learned that I just want to share with people.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so going through this exercise on my own, I've gotten down to like I can really narrow in on my some of my key core values and impact and serve and freedom.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: I want people to have freedom, like living their life on their own terms.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how can they do that if they keep doing the same things over and over again?
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good point.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's it's cool that you brought kind of a higher level thinking to a goal.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to speak to people.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I I really appreciate that perspective on the$10,000 comment because it is really about you know what that$10,000 would what would you spend it on, right?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: What is the purpose behind it?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna pay for your kids' college or provide for something that you didn't have, right?
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then the perspective then on why do I want to speak in front of a crowd?
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I want to impact each person in that crowd.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's cool.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have plans to do that?
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm working on it.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do have plans.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: I believe it.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: My bucket list, my bucket list on that is I wanted to speak and on stage at Royce Hall at UCLA because that is where I got to see one of my most favorite people, Brene Brown, speak for the first time.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: And that ended up actually being it was we were filmed, and I don't know why they were filming her, but it was undercover at the moment.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: But that was actually when she filmed her Netflix special, and so I got to be there for that.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's wild.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: And she is so inspiring.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: She is like her work and her research is so far-reaching and has impacted so many people in the world.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what a legacy!
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to speak about in front of those people at UCLI?
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: I want them to see how magnificent they are.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want people to see their brilliance.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: I want people to know life doesn't have to be the way that they think it is.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like they get to do it on their own terms.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: And what does it take?
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: It takes courage, it takes knowing what your values are, and it takes action.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited to see you.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: Give me the send me the invite when you when you make it.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: I wanna, I'll be there.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what do you think is one lesson that people could take away from what we've been talking about?
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_01: There's no perfect path or perfect plan.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like we get to be the creators of our path.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: So make it one that you're excited about.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: Just go for it.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_00: I want to thank Kristen for that conversation.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_00: I love hearing stories of people who overcome the inevitable stresses of life by taking action and making positive changes.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: What I liked most about her message is that building a different or better life doesn't usually require big leaps into unknown territories.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's founded on constant yet incremental change.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me wonder where I could be in just two or three years, if all I do is something a little different or a little better right now.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not tomorrow, not tonight, but right now, when this podcast finishes.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_00: How could I change something, even if it's just my mindset for the rest of the day, that would impact my future?
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it makes you wonder about the future possible for you, if you make a small change right now too.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you liked this episode of Seeking Authenticity, that's freaking awesome.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_00: All I want to ask of you, the listener, in return for the time and effort I put into making it, is that you take a deep breath.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean really breathe.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_00: Breathe so that it stretches out your shoulders and your back and your chest and pushes out your stomach.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_00: No more of these shallow, bullshit breaths.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're barely keeping you alive, my friend.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_00: And after you exhale, go out and soak up today.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because in the end, your actions and the way they interact with the world and the people around you right now are all you have in this life.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: So be authentic with them.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: Peace.