Latest / The Dr Louise Newson Podcast / 297 - Getting your voice heard: Christiane’s story of PMDD, endometriosis and menopause

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297 - Getting your voice heard: Christiane’s story of PMDD, endometriosis and menopause · The Dr Louise Newson Podcast

0:11
Hello, I'm Doctor Louise Newson, I'm AGP and menopause specialist
0:15
and I'm also the founder of the Newson Health Menopause and
0:18
well-being Centre here in Stratford upon Avon.
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I'm also the founder of the free Balance app.
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Each week on my podcast, join me and my special guests where we
0:29
discuss all things perimenopause and menopause.
0:33
We talk about the latest research, bus myths on menopause
0:36
symptoms and treatments and often share moving and always
0:40
inspirational personal stories. This podcast is brought to you
0:45
by the Newsome Health Group, which has clinics across the UK
0:49
dedicated to providing individualised perimenopause and
0:52
menopause care for all women. So today on the podcast, I have
1:04
someone called Christian who reached out to me a little while
1:07
ago from the other side of the world to me.
1:09
She's in Australia and she told me her story, which really
1:13
resonated because it's similar to many, many stories that I
1:16
hear all the time. Actually, a lot of videos about
1:20
women not being listened to, but also women who have more than
1:24
one diagnosis that often aren't just put into one sort of
1:29
diagnostic box and given one treatment and off you go.
1:32
When it's more complicated, sometimes it can unsettle and
1:36
unnerve doctors and sometimes it can be very difficult to be
1:39
heard to get the right treatment.
1:41
So Christian's very kindly agreed to share her story so it
1:46
can empower others and make changes to other people's lives
1:50
going forward. So hopefully they don't suffer
1:52
as long as you have before you finally feel better.
1:55
So welcome from Melbourne. Thank you, Louise, and thank you
2:00
for all the amazing work you've done for decades, long before
2:04
you know that menopause was in the zeitgeist or being spoken
2:08
about. Oh.
2:09
Thank you. So you, like many women,
2:12
actually have endometriosis, which I've spoken about on the
2:16
podcast before and I'm sure I speak again.
2:18
And some statistics say that it can take a decade for people to
2:23
have a diagnosis and many, many consultations before the
2:27
diagnosis is made. And that's sometimes because it
2:32
can be difficult to diagnose, but it's more commonly because
2:36
people aren't understanding endometriosis and the effect
2:40
that it has on people. So do you mind just sharing a
2:43
bit about your story? Not at all.
2:46
And I just want to point out the outset that I definitely don't
2:50
want to make it just about me. I I know there are so many
2:53
countless women in my position. And yeah, this is the story of
2:58
so many, which is really sad and actually quite tragic.
3:02
So yes, you're right. It took about a decade for me to
3:05
be diagnosed. And by the time I was, and I
3:09
just, you normalised the pain as well.
3:11
So I just thought it was me and that, you know, my other people
3:14
responded to simple painkillers and I must be in some way
3:18
defective. So yeah, that was really
3:21
terrible. And by the time it was
3:22
diagnosed, I end up having an ovary removed as well as
3:26
appendix. And I also punctured bladder
3:30
surgery as well, which also I wasn't believed about until mum
3:35
took me back three times to emergency.
3:37
So yeah, there's it is a story as old as time, I think, and
3:42
that I probably had around 10 laparoscopies after that.
3:47
And every single time the sense of not being believed.
3:51
I also went to a few different specialists, some of them
3:54
incredibly, you know, at the top of their field and still being
3:58
told this is chronic pain or, you know, this is normal.
4:02
And I like to think I have a fairly high pain threshold.
4:05
So. But as I said, you just
4:07
normalize the pain, the the moods.
4:10
However, luckily I was very fortunate to come across
4:13
Professor Jay Shree Kulkarni, who, as you know, spoken with
4:18
and heard very important work around women's mental health and
4:22
hormones. And I was diagnosed with PMDD in
4:26
my mid 20s. And that was very helpful.
4:30
But still, despite, you know, the ongoing endometriosis and
4:35
all sorts of medications, tried HRT before my hysterectomy, but
4:40
ultimately ended up doing IVF on my own partly for that.
4:45
Yeah. Given the history of all the
4:48
surgery, I have no doubt that's why I was single, just feeling,
4:52
and I still am single feeling quite.
4:54
And I don't mind saying that. I mean, I basically being single
4:57
for two decades, I think largely given that sense of brokenness
5:02
that you feel having, you know, that physical as well as
5:07
psychological disease, I guess. So PMDD is premenstrual
5:13
dysphoric disorder, and it's a more severe form of PMS and PMS
5:17
premenstrual syndrome probably effects about 90% of women.
5:21
There's very few women who don't have any changes before their
5:24
periods. And before the periods, as you
5:26
know, is when hormone levels are at their lowest.
5:28
And so a lot of people I see and speak to have endometriosis also
5:33
do have some PMDD as well. And the more I think and treat
5:37
and talk to women with endometriosis, the more I think
5:41
I'm interested to know how much of A hormonal disorder it is and
5:44
how much it's related to low progesterone and possibly low
5:47
testosterone as well. Because those hormones are very
5:50
anti-inflammatory. And traditionally when we talk
5:53
about hormones, it's always about estrogen being the
5:55
building block. Estrogen's the important bit,
5:57
estrogen, estrogen and estrogen. But actually these three
6:00
hormones are independent. They're as different as, you
6:02
know, other hormones in our body.
6:04
They just, they're always lumped as sex hormones, but they don't
6:08
define us, our sex or our gender because men have the same
6:11
hormones too. And a lot of people I speak to
6:14
do respond very well to testosterone and progesterone
6:17
and maybe less estrogen or no estrogen depending on the
6:21
individual situation. And it can take a long time, as
6:26
you say, to diagnose endometriosis.
6:29
But it also, even when it's diagnosed, the treatment really
6:32
varies between women. And, you know, the surgeons will
6:35
say it's all about surgery. Other people, if you go to a
6:38
pain clinic, they say it's all about pain control.
6:41
If you go to a psychiatrist other than Professor Kulkarni,
6:44
they'll say, oh, it's all in your head, so you can just, you
6:46
know, put up with it. And then other people say, well,
6:49
just take out your womb and your ovaries.
6:51
If you take out the ovaries, you'll have no hormones and
6:53
therefore you'll be fine. But actually, that's not always
6:56
the right thing either is. It no, it's not that simple and
7:00
the reason I ended up fighting so hard to have hysterectomy was
7:04
literally listening to your podcast with Doctor Hannah
7:07
Short, the GP in I looked up this morning in 2022.
7:12
It was and it just gave me her story was very similar to mine.
7:17
It was just untenable to live with the PMDD the way it was.
7:21
For her. And she thought to have a
7:24
hysterectomy as I did. Unfortunately, even though my
7:27
specialist was excellent and very senior, he still, I mean,
7:31
he had reservations for the right reasons, but just the I
7:36
guess the lack of knowledge doesn't help.
7:37
But I remember him saying, well, if I do a hysterectomy, it will
7:41
shorten your life span by five years.
7:44
Good. And I myself said, oh, what?
7:46
And he said, well, given the cardiovascular risks.
7:50
And then he proceeded to calculate how old my son would
7:53
be when I died. Oh.
7:56
My goodness, this is. True.
7:58
And so I sat there and took all that in and it was only
8:01
afterwards speaking to someone that I thought, Gee, that was a
8:05
terrible thing to say to someone because it left me in an
8:08
impossible position of my quality of life being so poor
8:12
and big surgery that, you know, holds a lot of grief as well.
8:17
So in the end, he agreed based on, you know, the psychiatric
8:20
support, literary support, but we retained 1 ovary and of
8:25
course, because the ovaries producing the hormone that the
8:29
PMDD continued. And so I fought again a year
8:33
later to have that ovary removed and I'm now on HRT and the
8:38
prometrium, the bioidentical progesterone.
8:43
Yeah. So it's been, it's been a lot.
8:45
And that was a two years after having my son.
8:48
I had the hysterectomy after being told that pregnancy cures
8:53
endometriosis, which is another old wives tale because it
8:57
clearly doesn't. And you know, that's where you
9:00
almost gaslight yourself just thinking, is this me imagining
9:05
the pain and being told by doctors it's not there and it
9:09
was so as well as adenomyosis. So yeah, you just got to trust
9:15
your own body I guess. But that's impossible in the
9:17
face of really experts who I I'm sure are well meaning.
9:22
But it takes a toll. Yeah, of course it does.
9:25
And and I you know, one of the first things I learned as a
9:28
medical student is listen to your patients.
9:30
You know, the patient will always tell you that you have to
9:34
ask the right questions. Yes, but also, you know,
9:38
patients don't come to the clinic or they've never come to
9:40
see me as a doctor making things up.
9:43
There's no psychological advantage of having symptoms.
9:46
And sometimes it can be really difficult.
9:49
One of the things I learnt actually in general practice in,
9:52
in hospital, you, you've always got other people you can ask,
9:55
you've got tests, you've got investigations really on your
9:58
fingertips that you can always try and explore more and more.
10:01
Whereas in general practice when you've got 10 minutes, you can't
10:05
order scans left, right and center.
10:07
You don't always know, but actually dealing with
10:10
uncertainty is something that's really, really important as a
10:13
doctor and sharing that uncertainty.
10:16
And I'm, I'm a very honest person.
10:19
And so I'm always very honest with my patients.
10:21
And actually my trainer a long time ago, John Sanders, taught
10:25
me that it's OK to tell people that you don't know what's going
10:27
on. And the first time I did it, I
10:30
thought, oh, gosh, they're going to think I'm a really bad
10:31
doctor. But actually it's not that it's,
10:35
you know, sometimes you don't know or you think, well, there's
10:38
maybe two or three different things going on on.
10:40
And so I'll often say to patients, you know, look, there
10:43
is a lot going on. I think you might have X, you
10:45
might have Y. We could do A, we could do B.
10:48
Let's just do it in stages. But I might not be able to help
10:52
everything. But I'm certainly going to work
10:54
with you and let's explore all possibilities and that way.
10:59
That would be a relief, yeah, I think a relief for patients.
11:02
I think people, and I know having been a patient quite a
11:05
few times, you just want to feel validated and you want to feel
11:10
that someone understands you and also that you're not making it
11:15
up. Yeah.
11:16
There's nothing worse than being told it's all in your head.
11:19
Yes. Or someone trying to make a
11:21
different diagnosis to suit their agenda.
11:24
You know, I know Longwell, a few years ago now, my daughter had
11:27
sepsis in her sacroiliac joint and she presented with awful,
11:30
awful pain in her hip. And I had to take her to
11:33
casualty at 3:00 in the morning because she was in so much pain.
11:35
Well, if I couldn't take her, she was, I couldn't mobilise
11:38
her. She had an ambulance.
11:39
But we got there and the X-ray was normal and the consultant
11:42
said to us, oh, I think she just needs some physiotherapy.
11:47
And I looked at her and she'd started vomiting at this time
11:50
and was in so much pain. And I looked at the consultant
11:53
and said, what makes you think when she's had no injury that
11:57
physiotherapy is going to help this 12 year old girl who's
12:00
clearly quite unwell? Could you not even take a blood
12:03
test? And then she went, OK, we'll
12:07
keep her in until the morning ward round.
12:09
But it was that whole and and we'd sometimes talk about this
12:12
as a family because if I wasn't medical, I would have just gone
12:16
over, OK, then I'll take her home.
12:17
And I know she probably would have died because she was so
12:19
poorly in the days after, but that's quite an extreme case.
12:24
But actually it would have been OK for that doctor to say, gosh,
12:27
I don't really know what's going on.
12:28
Maybe some physio would help. But she doesn't look very well
12:31
and she's got worse in the hour that she's here.
12:34
Let's just keep an eye on things and I'll ask my colleagues in
12:36
the morning. That would have been fine.
12:38
So it's the way that we talk and, and the more I look at the
12:43
gender inequality, there's so much more that women are
12:49
misunderstood. You know, it's the women that
12:51
have multi, you know, system disorders, women who are
12:55
complex, women who have personality disorders, women
12:58
who, you know, have all these medications, women, women,
13:01
women. But actually, what's different
13:04
about us is that our hormones are often changing all the time,
13:08
and we've never really been used in proper experiments or, you
13:12
know, clinical trials because our hormones exclude us because
13:16
they're too complicated. Yes.
13:18
And that makes it really hard. And then with some conditions,
13:21
including endometriosis, synthetic hormones have been
13:24
given, which aren't the same as natural hormones.
13:27
And nice, you know, some people say, well, estrogen will flare
13:30
endo, which it often can do. But what about the other
13:34
hormones? What else are we doing, You
13:36
know, And it's that individualisation of care that I
13:39
think has been missing for so long.
13:42
And women are just given layers and layers of diagnosis, often
13:45
inappropriate medication. And then then what do you do?
13:49
Who do you go and see if no one's really addressing the
13:51
problem properly? I know.
13:54
And that's where people like me end up.
13:56
I mean, I'm a researcher, but I'm not a doctor, though I feel
14:00
at times I've had to educate GPS and like Professor Kulkarni has
14:05
mentioned many times that women like me.
14:08
Thankfully, I haven't, which is I'm incredibly grateful to her,
14:12
but being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on
14:16
antipsychotics when it's a hormonal condition and that
14:20
hasn't happened to me. But the shame of not being
14:24
believed has a severe mental health impact and I think is
14:29
traumatic for many of us. I'm sort of coming to terms of
14:32
it now that I'm looking back. I'm almost 44.
14:36
And as I was saying to you actually earlier, I was, I'm
14:40
starting to feel angry. I'm not an angry person, but I
14:44
thought we just got through another HRT shortage.
14:46
And as of yesterday, I've just spent hours on the phone again
14:51
trying to source oestrogen patches.
14:53
I'm on quite a high dose twice a week.
14:56
And yeah, the mental load of that for women is enormous.
15:02
And yes, the good thing is women are speaking about it.
15:05
And as you've said, you know, in Australia there are a number of
15:08
journalists who are going through perimenopause and
15:11
menopause in real time. So like Mamma Mia Mia Company by
15:16
Mia Friedman's doing a lot of work on that and obviously
15:20
Professor Kulkarni, but there isn't, you know, what do you do?
15:25
You've got nowhere to go if there's no supply.
15:27
And it really is a human rights issue.
15:30
I'm not sure if it's going too far to say that.
15:33
But I do think it is actually, we've had shortages over here
15:37
and actually in my paperback, but one of our pharmacists,
15:40
Hayley has written about what to do with a shortage.
15:42
And, and actually at the minute in the UK there isn't a
15:45
shortage, but I have, I've just changed my patches today and I
15:49
realise I don't have any more and I'm going away at the
15:51
weekend. And I'm, I mean, I, I will be
15:54
able to get a prescription, but it's still like actually, and
15:57
it's not, it's just the fact that I know that I will get
16:01
migraines without my patches. I know I won't be able to think
16:05
and function. So it's not like a lot of people
16:07
think it's just a lifestyle drug.
16:09
It's just a nice to have rather than the need to have
16:12
medication. And this is where hormones, I
16:16
think are just not taken seriously enough.
16:18
You know, the work that Professor Kulkarni does is so
16:22
important, looking at the mental health aspects of the menopause
16:26
and perimenopause and PMDD obviously in PMS.
16:29
And we've just written a paper together because we have to
16:33
address the importance of mental health.
16:36
We can't just be layering on sticking plaster.
16:39
And a couple of days ago I did a event for an NHS mental health
16:44
trust and it was an interesting audience because there were just
16:47
women from the public there. There were consultant
16:50
psychiatrists there and there were some mental health workers.
16:53
And afterwards I spoke to some of the some of the people and
16:58
one of them, her consultant psychiatrist specialises in
17:01
psychosis and she was asking me about the role of hormones.
17:04
And she said I've never really thought about it, but actually I
17:07
wouldn't have no idea how to prescribe HRT.
17:09
And I'm really scared of prescribing HRT.
17:12
And I'm just like, well, you have to learn.
17:15
It's really important because there's really good evidence.
17:19
And actually they are safer than a lot of antipsychotic
17:22
medication. And antipsychotic medication
17:25
will increase prolactin, which they always test prolactin
17:28
levels and high prolactin will reduce FSH.
17:32
So it will give people a chemical menopause.
17:34
So if they're not menopausal before, they will be with the
17:37
drugs that you're prescribing. And so she was like, I need to
17:41
listen, I need to learn, I need to do your education programme.
17:43
So she went off, you know, wanting to learn more, which is
17:46
wonderful. And then there was another lady
17:48
who's a patient and she said, I've been diagnosed as bipolar.
17:52
I know I'm not. They talk about psychosis, but I
17:56
know it's related to my hormones.
17:57
It's taken years to be listened to and believed.
18:00
How do I get my voice heard? And that's really difficult,
18:06
isn't it? It is.
18:07
And people, I mean, I've heard read in some of Professor
18:11
Kulkarni's work, you know, there's suicidal outcomes in
18:16
these situations. I luckily wasn't.
18:19
But I mean, it's taken years and years and the stress of trying
18:24
to, you know, I've got my son screaming in the background on
18:27
the phone to the pharmacy who's basically saying, Oh, no, we've
18:29
got none. And of course, everyone will be
18:32
different in terms of what dose they're on.
18:34
But I'm on quite a high dose because I'm young and it seems
18:37
to be working. I've never had a hot flash.
18:39
And that's the other thing. It is so individual, isn't it?
18:42
I mean, the stereotypes around hot flashes.
18:44
I mean, what happens to me will be completely different from
18:48
what happens to another friend. And, but so far it has been
18:53
really positive. And I don't have endometriosis,
18:56
you know, and I don't have pelvic pain, but I was sent off
19:00
to pelvic physios by surgeons just assuming it was, which is,
19:05
you know, a very good resource, but in my situation was
19:08
inappropriate. And, you know, decades ago it
19:10
was quite invasive, not around consent and quite traumatizing.
19:16
And that was all to prove that actually, no, there was no issue
19:19
with my pelvic floor. It was it was endo.
19:23
So that's really devastating. Similarly, in pregnancy, I was
19:27
so lucky. And after 7 rounds of IVF on my
19:30
own, I had my son, who's now five, and the endo persisted
19:36
after having him. And that was, yeah, a surprise,
19:41
given I'd been told that pregnancy would cure it.
19:44
So yeah, you're just managing it all life stages, trying to, you
19:49
know, as a younger woman, you know, around sexuality, as a
19:53
mother, still trying to manage the pain.
19:55
And now I mean menopause and and that's actually better.
19:58
And as Professor Kulkarni would say, and we weighed up the
20:03
options, the PMDD and the pain of endometriosis were.
20:08
Worse than the prospect of menopause, so.
20:11
And that has been the right choice for me.
20:13
Yeah, which is so important, being so involved with decision
20:18
making than knowing that the treatment that you're having is
20:21
right for you. But I mean, having all those
20:23
rounds of IVF by yourself, just bringing up a child by yourself,
20:29
it's not easy, is it? No, it's not.
20:32
And it's in some ways the baby, you know, everyone warns you at
20:36
all. You know, you're not going to
20:37
sleep again and everything. And I think for the first few
20:39
years, and definitely while I was breastfeeding, my hormones
20:42
were great for the first time in my life, which I'm sure you know
20:45
about. And then I fell when I had to
20:48
stop because of surgery, that's when they end on and those
20:55
problems started occurring. But yeah, he's amazing.
20:58
And I used an anonymous donor. Unfortunately there's an
21:01
enormous shortage of donors now in Australia.
21:05
I'm not sure about the UK, but given in Victoria, at least
21:09
where I am, the legislation changed a couple of years ago
21:13
which meant that donors are allowed, can be identified when
21:17
the child is 18. So that understandably really
21:21
deterred a lot of men from donating.
21:24
And I mean, I think when I was looking at the database like
21:29
you're shopping for something that's not a donor, there are
21:33
about 8 donors at that point. And I am very efficient in sort
21:38
of a bit of AI, don't know if it was my background in research,
21:42
but I chose that one that was perfect for me and I'm
21:46
incredibly grateful. And one nice thing I don't think
21:50
I mentioned to you was we've met two of his donor siblings who
21:54
are twin. His age.
21:55
So the same donor and his wonderful mum and they live
21:59
about 40 minutes away. So that's a really beautiful
22:02
thing. But yeah, complex and emotional
22:04
and I think bringing up a child when I've still got residual
22:09
health issues, given the aforementioned history is tough.
22:16
I don't want him to look back and think of me as my mum is
22:21
struggling or disabled. But hopefully, I mean, all he
22:24
knows is he's got a mum and a Nana and a donor and he's happy
22:29
with that. And I, I think just to pick up
22:32
on you saying about the consultant that you think saying
22:35
that if you have a hysterectomy, it will shorten your life by
22:38
five years. Firstly, no doctor has a crystal
22:41
ball. We have no idea what we're going
22:42
to die from. And the no idea.
22:44
What we do know from the evidence is that when women have
22:48
a surgical menopause or a menopause at an earlier age, the
22:51
longer they are without the hormones, the greater the
22:53
incidence of diseases and an earlier death as well.
22:56
But, and this is a real but, if people have replacement of
23:00
hormones, then that reverses because all you're doing is not
23:04
replacing or just giving back what your body would be
23:07
producing. And actually a lot of people who
23:10
have an earlier menopause, if they've had some hormonal
23:14
insufficiency, actually you're giving appropriate hormone doses
23:18
back, probably their prognosis will be even better because a
23:22
lot of women are spluttering a bit with their hormones not
23:25
producing as much. So you're giving back a really
23:29
good physiological dose. And our hormones are very active
23:32
biologically. So the research hasn't been done
23:36
because so little has been done on proper body identical
23:39
hormones I. Tried to find it, yeah, it's
23:42
just not there. No, but it makes complete
23:45
physiological sense. Actually, yes.
23:48
And we know that older women who take HRT have a lower risk of
23:51
diseases, a lower risk of an earlier death.
23:54
You know, they usually live longer and healthier 'cause it's
23:57
actually not the age we die anyway, it's our journey to that
24:00
age. No, you know.
24:02
We could all live longer but be more unhealthy and none of us
24:05
want that. And so that's right, I think for
24:08
anybody to try and talk about life expectancy to patients,
24:12
unless they know something I don't, it's impossible to say.
24:16
It was cruel, yeah, And until I spoke to Jayshree and who said
24:21
exactly as you did. And the benefits of HRT in terms
24:24
of cardiovascular health are undeniable in itself.
24:28
It's not for the specialist. I remember speaking to a
24:30
psychologist and her saying, well, it's not for him to decide
24:34
whether your quality of life is worth, even if it is five years.
24:38
And in the end, the whole five years thing, as you say, is very
24:41
theoretical. Yeah, but it was a terrible.
24:45
The guilt around that was flattery.
24:47
Had my child, you don't see. And who, which mother, what sort
24:51
of parent, would ever accept dying five years younger?
24:55
And as you say, my hormones are actually more stable now than
24:59
they have been since I was 12. So there you go, if anyone's
25:04
wondering. So good news at the end of a
25:06
very long, over 30 year old, you know, journey that's right, that
25:11
it's worth persevering because people can get there in the end.
25:14
And even when you feel it's insurmountable or impossible to
25:17
feel better often, finding the right clinician, finding the
25:21
right treatment for you as an individual can work.
25:25
Yes. So very grateful for your time
25:27
but also your honesty as well because I'm sure your story will
25:30
resonate with lots of people and hopefully give them that fire in
25:33
their belly to really be. Listened to thank you.
25:36
So before we finish, there's always going to be 3 take home
25:39
tips at the end of the podcast, yes.
25:41
So three things that you feel if people have listened and felt
25:45
gaslit really, or cheated on with information or an incorrect
25:49
diagnosis or something doesn't feel right from the clinician
25:52
that they've been seeing. What three things would you
25:55
recommend women to do? So I think the first one I
25:59
thought of was just educate yourself or listen to women's
26:03
stories. I don't mean on TikTok, I'm not
26:06
on TikTok, but I mean listening to evidence based podcasts like
26:10
yours and your website and information.
26:13
And yeah, we need more of that in Australia.
26:16
But luckily we're now, you know, all connected.
26:19
It was great. And I think talk to your
26:22
daughters and nieces and, you know, I get on my soapbox if I
26:26
hear, you know, young women in pain.
26:29
And I think it's sharing stories like women always have is really
26:33
powerful. And that's how I came to have
26:36
this strength. As I said, listening to your
26:37
podcast and hearing Doctor Hannah, that was incredibly
26:41
powerful. And I also think speaking to
26:44
men, you know, I had coffee with a lovely man in his early 40s
26:48
last week and mentioned your podcast.
26:51
And I didn't say your name because I just was a bit the
26:54
stigma, I think of mentioning menopause, even even me.
26:59
And he said, oh, is it Doctor Louise Newson?
27:01
And I said yes. He said, oh, I heard her on a
27:03
podcast. And I forwarded it to my mom and
27:05
my sister. Wonderful.
27:06
So there you go. So I think just talking.
27:09
And the second thing was push. I know it's easier said than
27:13
done that pushing back against that medical gas lighting,
27:18
because the impact as I've tried to describe is, you know, the
27:23
impact on the trajectory of women's lives is so pervasive.
27:28
So don't let the shame of being not believed stop you from
27:34
believing in yourself, is what I'm trying to say.
27:36
It's really important. Yeah.
27:38
And the third thing was, which is an unusual thing to say, but
27:42
you're not broken. And I am trying to take my own
27:47
advice, but it's the system and the structures that have often
27:52
broken. And I've come out of this and
27:55
it's, as I said now with hindsight, looking back, doing a
27:58
lot of work around why I feel like that and the processes of
28:05
being misdiagnosed, of not being heard of the shame of a lot of
28:09
shame around Women's Health. Anyway, the trauma associated
28:13
with IVF even can leave you feeling, you know, for men and
28:17
for women, incredibly broken. And add to that trauma, which I
28:23
don't mind saying I hadn't connected a sexual assault in my
28:27
early 20s. Add that to the mix of the
28:30
physical and emotional impact of the other.
28:33
And I don't use the word trauma lightly.
28:35
Of of the trauma of gaslighting and medical misogyny.
28:39
I think, yeah, just retain that sense of self and you're, I'm
28:44
sure many people do feel broken. I'm sure many.
28:48
There are many millions of women or thousands like me.
28:51
And yeah, just remember, it's the systems and structures.
28:55
It's not you. I think that's such a powerful
28:58
way to end. And thank you so much for
29:00
sharing so many really intimate things actually about yourself,
29:04
because people will be able to just think in a different way.
29:10
And I think just not internalising it and blaming
29:13
yourself for everything is really crucially important in
29:16
everything that we do actually, because as women, we often take
29:20
so much. And I think to know that
29:23
actually, it's not your fault the way you feel and that there
29:26
are people that can help you, but it's fine to get a second,
29:29
third, fourth opinion. That's absolutely fine as well.
29:32
So I'm very grateful for your time today.
29:35
And I. Just hope this is going to help
29:38
lots of people so thank you again.
29:40
I'm very grateful, full and best of luck to everyone.
29:44
Oh. Thank you.
29:49
You can find out more about Newson Health Group by visiting
29:52
www.newsonhealth.co.uk and you can download the free Balance
29:59
app on the App Store. Or Google Play.