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Embrace the Breakdowns + Build a Life and Business You Love with Kathleen Griffith · QUESTION EVERYTHING

0:04
Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
0:08
Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe, and each week my guests
0:12
Speaker 1: and I have conversations that.
0:13
Speaker 2: Put a new spin on pretty. This is pretty smart.
0:19
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm coming to you from La, more specifically my
0:25
Speaker 1: bed in LA on a Friday night. I don't know
0:28
Speaker 1: if you feel this way, but sometimes after the work week,
0:32
Speaker 1: I just cannot even fathom going out on a Friday.
0:36
Speaker 1: I need to unwind, maybe even catch up on extra work,
0:40
Speaker 1: and just kind of chill. I'm also preparing for something tomorrow.
0:46
Speaker 1: I'm hosting a panel with Hello Sunshine for four of
0:50
Speaker 1: their Reese's book Club authors, women whose books have been
0:55
Speaker 1: turned into TV series or films. Got me thinking about
1:00
Speaker 1: public speaking, because when I tell you, I used to
1:05
Speaker 1: hate it, that's the It was an understatement. I was
1:09
Speaker 1: so nervous years ago. I think, like in twenty twenty sixteen,
1:15
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, I hosted a morning show in Chicago. And
1:21
Speaker 1: Chicago's a big, small city, so when you're on TV there,
1:24
Speaker 1: people start asking you to host events, host charity events,
1:28
Speaker 1: host just about anything. And I was waking up at
1:33
Speaker 1: three am. Nights and weekends were really tough for me,
1:37
Speaker 1: but I made a promise to myself that I would
1:40
Speaker 1: say yes to every speaking event, mostly unpaid, because I
1:47
Speaker 1: was determined to.
1:49
Speaker 2: Get good at this.
1:51
Speaker 1: And why you might ask, why would I do this?
1:53
Speaker 2: Well?
1:54
Speaker 1: I read a book called The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle.
1:58
Speaker 1: I highly recommend it. I think it's a little over
2:01
Speaker 1: one hundred pages. It's a very quick read. It's one
2:04
Speaker 1: of the most formative books I've read. The idea is
2:08
Speaker 1: that although talent feels and looks predestined, we actually have
2:13
Speaker 1: a great deal of control over what skills we developed,
2:16
Speaker 1: and we have more potential than we might ever even guess.
2:21
Speaker 2: But what does it take.
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Speaker 1: It takes deep practice, struggling in certain very targeted ways,
2:29
Speaker 1: operating at the edges of your ability, where you make mistakes,
2:33
Speaker 1: but the mistakes make you smarter. Daniel calls it the
2:37
Speaker 1: sweet spot. He calls it that because it's that productive,
2:42
Speaker 1: uncomfortable terrain located just beyond our current ability, where our
2:47
Speaker 1: reach exceeds our grasp. Deep practice isn't simply about struggling.
2:53
Speaker 1: It's about seeking a particular struggle and repeating it over
2:58
Speaker 1: and over again. He says, don't look for quick big improvement,
3:04
Speaker 1: seek the small improvement, one day at a time. That's
3:07
Speaker 1: the only way it happens. And when it happens, it lasts.
3:12
Speaker 1: So that's what I did. I said yes to every
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Speaker 1: live speaking event, and I was pretty terrible. And each
3:20
Speaker 1: time I would get better and I would learn from
3:24
Speaker 1: my mistakes, and I would actually keep a note like
3:27
Speaker 1: a notepad on my phone with all the things I
3:30
Speaker 1: should remember for the next time, and each time I
3:33
Speaker 1: would add to that note list. And when I tell
3:37
Speaker 1: you now that live events are among my very favorite
3:42
Speaker 1: things that I actually it is my favorite thing that
3:45
Speaker 1: I do. To be in a room full of women,
3:49
Speaker 1: in particular, it's.
3:53
Speaker 2: I could almost cry.
3:54
Speaker 1: It's the most magical experience for me, because being a
3:58
Speaker 1: live host is like being a conductor. You direct the
4:02
Speaker 1: room's energy. If you're excited, they're excited. If you're confident,
4:08
Speaker 1: they feel it. And if you want to celebrate, they
4:11
Speaker 1: do too. I met someone recently in New York at
4:16
Speaker 1: Soho House. I was working from there and I was
4:19
Speaker 1: at the communal table and he asked what I did,
4:22
Speaker 1: and I told him, and he looked at me and
4:24
Speaker 1: he said, oh, so you invent serendipity and I smiled
4:31
Speaker 1: so big, because that's really it. People always think that
4:36
Speaker 1: spontaneity comes from throwing caution into the wind and just
4:39
Speaker 1: doing what you feel, but I actually think that the
4:42
Speaker 1: best kind of spontaneity comes when you've planned really carefully
4:47
Speaker 1: so there's room for that magic to happen.
4:50
Speaker 2: And that's what I do with live events.
4:52
Speaker 1: I plan meticulously, I study carefully so that I can
4:58
Speaker 1: invent the serendipity when I'm there. So before we get
5:01
Speaker 1: into our episode today, I'm sort of thinking about what
5:05
Speaker 1: you can fail at, but you can fail big at
5:10
Speaker 1: what you can try again, fail again, fail better because
5:15
Speaker 1: I think we all become more clever through our mistakes.
5:19
Speaker 1: I believe that hard work gets you to talent, which
5:21
Speaker 1: actually brings me into our episode today because today we're
5:26
Speaker 1: getting a little unglamorous, and I think it's about time
5:31
Speaker 1: let me explain. Have you noticed just how much inspiration
5:35
Speaker 1: there is out there? I just gave you some, but
5:38
Speaker 1: if you google the phrase designing your life, you will
5:41
Speaker 1: be met with an overwhelming amount of information. There's books,
5:46
Speaker 1: there's work books, and then there's articles. There's Reddit threads,
5:49
Speaker 1: there's tiktoks, there's ted talks and then there's workshops all about.
5:54
Speaker 2: Leveling up your life.
5:55
Speaker 1: For lack of a better term, There's a lot of
5:58
Speaker 1: glamorous inspiration or out there, but as we know, putting
6:02
Speaker 1: in the work to actually build it is often really messy.
6:07
Speaker 1: Sometimes when you're ready to go all in on an idea,
6:11
Speaker 1: inspiration will just not suffice. The why is important, but
6:15
Speaker 1: we also need the how, and that's where today's guest
6:19
Speaker 1: comes in. Kathleen Griffith is an award winning entrepreneur, business strategist,
6:26
Speaker 1: and TV producer whose media company advises Fortune one hundred
6:31
Speaker 1: brands on women oriented content, strategy and experiences. Her new book,
6:36
Speaker 1: Build Like a Woman, is a blueprint on the world
6:39
Speaker 1: of female entrepreneurship. What I really love about Kathleen's platform
6:44
Speaker 1: is she's not just encouraging us to build the business
6:46
Speaker 1: of our dreams, but the life of our dreams, and
6:50
Speaker 1: she's serving up inspiration about how it's possible to achieve both,
6:54
Speaker 1: along with a set of principles to achieve the how,
6:58
Speaker 1: from lessons in unlearning to the big bee and the
7:01
Speaker 1: little bee breakdowns that can become a catalyst for change
7:05
Speaker 1: today and together we are learning to become the architect
7:09
Speaker 1: of our lives and build like a woman. So, Kathleen,
7:20
Speaker 1: you dedicate your book to women who quote are done
7:23
Speaker 1: and ready, and you say you reached a point when
7:26
Speaker 1: you were just done. You were done screwing around, playing
7:29
Speaker 1: small and pretending.
7:31
Speaker 2: Those are a lot of really big words. What did
7:33
Speaker 2: you mean?
7:34
Speaker 3: You reach a point where you are done going through
7:37
Speaker 3: the motions, where you have done everything you are meant
7:42
Speaker 3: to do everything that has been expected of you. And
7:47
Speaker 3: somehow you're sitting in this quiet moment with yourself and
7:53
Speaker 3: your life doesn't feel.
7:55
Speaker 2: Alive to you.
7:56
Speaker 3: You feel numb, You feel like you don't have the
8:01
Speaker 3: voice you know that lives inside And it's really this
8:05
Speaker 3: personal moment of reckoning where you come to realize that
8:10
Speaker 3: there is a woman inside of you that is so
8:13
Speaker 3: much greater and so much more powerful than what you
8:18
Speaker 3: have led out into the world, and you are just
8:21
Speaker 3: going to move forward with her from here on out.
8:25
Speaker 3: You are leaving this old jew behind. It's a deeply
8:30
Speaker 3: personal moment, but you know it to be true. You
8:35
Speaker 3: know when you are.
8:35
Speaker 2: Done and ready.
8:37
Speaker 1: Where were you when you were having this moment? Can
8:39
Speaker 1: you take me back? Do you remember the date?
8:42
Speaker 3: I remember it all, I remember the truffle sauce.
8:47
Speaker 2: I had smeared all over my puffy, overworked white face.
8:53
Speaker 2: I remember the conversation where I was.
8:57
Speaker 3: So I was at this little pizzeria and York City.
9:00
Speaker 3: It was a rainy night, and I went to meet
9:03
Speaker 3: a friend and we ordered something called the Shroomtown Pizza,
9:06
Speaker 3: which has four different types of mushrooms on it.
9:09
Speaker 2: It's got lots of truffle sauce, very different than an
9:12
Speaker 2: La Shroomtown pizza in New York. There's like real mushrooms here.
9:18
Speaker 2: Everybody's doing like a trip. Okay, it's exactly right.
9:21
Speaker 3: So here I am, and I'm sitting there and this
9:24
Speaker 3: friend looks at me, just taking in the picture of
9:27
Speaker 3: me eating, and I had treffle sauce smeared all over
9:30
Speaker 3: my face and looked like I kind of had one
9:33
Speaker 3: step out of the grave.
9:34
Speaker 1: You know.
9:34
Speaker 3: I was working myself to the bone, going into work
9:38
Speaker 3: before sunrise, leaving after sunset, so only seeing darkness for
9:42
Speaker 3: a really long time, which is how a lot of.
9:44
Speaker 2: People in corporate work.
9:46
Speaker 3: And she said, you look dead, and I decided to
9:51
Speaker 3: walk home that night.
9:52
Speaker 2: I walked home.
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Speaker 3: The streets were glistening, you know that New York city night,
9:57
Speaker 3: where everything's reflecting off pavement. And this quote circulated in
10:03
Speaker 3: my head by this woman named Tamma Keeves, who is
10:06
Speaker 3: a Harvard professor, and I'd gone to one of her
10:08
Speaker 3: workshops a few months before, and it said, if you
10:12
Speaker 3: are this successful doing what you don't love, imagine how
10:18
Speaker 3: successful you'd be doing what you do love. And those
10:23
Speaker 3: words haunted me in the best possible way, and they.
10:28
Speaker 1: Didn't leave until I did, can you give me sort
10:31
Speaker 1: because you've done a lot, but can you give me
10:33
Speaker 1: sort of like a brief synopsis so everybody understands what
10:37
Speaker 1: some of those things you didn't love but prepared you
10:39
Speaker 1: for this moment were.
10:42
Speaker 2: I worked in corporate.
10:44
Speaker 3: I got the job working in a big ad agency
10:47
Speaker 3: right after college, which is what a lot of us go.
10:51
Speaker 3: And do you know you get a good education. I
10:53
Speaker 3: was so fortunate to have been able to have that,
10:55
Speaker 3: and so went and worked for the man.
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Speaker 2: So to speak, and lit and fish yeah, right, yeah.
11:03
Speaker 3: And I was in a lot of meetings that I
11:06
Speaker 3: felt very unseen in where you would do all the
11:10
Speaker 3: prep work. And I was working in new business. I
11:13
Speaker 3: was working in account management. I was working on global brands.
11:16
Speaker 3: Some of the biggest brands, and I never really felt
11:21
Speaker 3: like I could bring my full self to the table,
11:23
Speaker 3: so to speak. So so that was kind of just
11:27
Speaker 3: more of this nagging, persistent feeling that something was not
11:31
Speaker 3: quite right despite having done all the right things.
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Speaker 2: So you walk home, you're haunted by that quote, what
11:40
Speaker 2: do you do next? I kept going.
11:45
Speaker 3: You sat with it for a little I sat with it, yeah,
11:47
Speaker 3: and then eventually, and I so believe in the power
11:51
Speaker 3: of breakdowns. It's one of my favorite words in the
11:54
Speaker 3: English language. It has such a negative connotation, but to me,
11:59
Speaker 3: when things break down, it's intending to show you a
12:02
Speaker 3: new path forward. And so I let my body and
12:06
Speaker 3: spirit continue to break down under the reality of being somewhere.
12:12
Speaker 4: That I wasn't meant to be.
12:14
Speaker 3: And each day that I kept walking into that office
12:17
Speaker 3: instead of betting on myself and betting on my own dreams,
12:21
Speaker 3: it felt so inauthentic that eventually I had the courage to.
12:28
Speaker 4: Slither into my boss's office and resign. It wasn't done
12:32
Speaker 4: nobly by the tis done.
12:34
Speaker 2: What do you mean I mean that.
12:38
Speaker 3: You imagine I knew I was done with corporate forever,
12:43
Speaker 3: and I imagine that moment being this very big, brave moment,
12:47
Speaker 3: and it was this very quiet, cowardly scared moment where
12:52
Speaker 3: I didn't know what I was going to do next,
12:55
Speaker 3: but I knew that I wasn't going to do this anymore.
12:58
Speaker 3: And that's okay. I want women to also know that
13:01
Speaker 3: that is okay. This doesn't often scream at you. Life
13:06
Speaker 3: whispers to you, your dreams whisper to you.
13:10
Speaker 1: I really like that you say that because I think
13:12
Speaker 1: also in this like social media day and age, we
13:16
Speaker 1: see a lot of videos of people quitting loudly. There's
13:21
Speaker 1: no there's not a lot of quiet quitting, right, you know,
13:23
Speaker 1: even though that's a term, it's it's quitting and saying
13:26
Speaker 1: something weird to your boss. And like you see those
13:29
Speaker 1: all over TikTok, and it's okay to be frightened and
13:33
Speaker 1: to do it quietly.
13:34
Speaker 2: I really like that advice.
13:35
Speaker 4: That's right. You don't need a marching band.
13:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes it's better if you don't have one. So
13:41
Speaker 1: your book combines life mindset with business mindset. One of
13:45
Speaker 1: the things I found in your book is that it
13:48
Speaker 1: was very practical and tactical. And when you walked in today,
13:52
Speaker 1: I told you that and you said something I loved.
13:55
Speaker 4: It's un sexy.
13:57
Speaker 3: It's intentionally a really hard one work book, and I'm
14:03
Speaker 3: proud of that.
14:04
Speaker 2: Why was that important to you?
14:07
Speaker 3: There is so much out there that is so inspiring,
14:11
Speaker 3: and we've all felt that, right the goosebump moments where
14:14
Speaker 3: you leave a great talk or you leave something that
14:17
Speaker 3: you've read and you are just on fire. You are
14:22
Speaker 3: ready to light things up, but you don't know how.
14:26
Speaker 3: And I felt like there were so many times where
14:28
Speaker 3: I was left holding the bag, and so in this work,
14:33
Speaker 3: I just said, I'm going to get down to the
14:35
Speaker 3: unglamorous work of writing a really hard working book, and
14:39
Speaker 3: I would write it. It took years, and then i'd
14:42
Speaker 3: break it all back down and i'd dismantle it because
14:45
Speaker 3: it wasn't stacking well enough, and then I'd build it again.
14:48
Speaker 3: Because what was also so important to me was that
14:51
Speaker 3: we would have the life mindset to your point, with
14:54
Speaker 3: the business mindset together. We'd have life skill sets with
14:58
Speaker 3: business skill sets to get because my frustration has always
15:02
Speaker 3: been it's either life mindset or business skill sets, it's
15:07
Speaker 3: not everything holistically.
15:09
Speaker 4: So that's what I did.
15:11
Speaker 2: It's almost like your book is the bag.
15:14
Speaker 1: If that's how you're sort of sharing it because you
15:18
Speaker 1: could go and listen to like a really inspiring YouTube
15:21
Speaker 1: video and then get to this book.
15:24
Speaker 2: Right, this is the how, right, so build like a woman.
15:29
Speaker 1: I can't help but think as you're sitting here that
15:32
Speaker 1: part of that is incorporating the life mindset.
15:35
Speaker 2: Does that resonate? Yeah?
15:38
Speaker 3: I sometimes I think that I built this for myself.
15:42
Speaker 3: It was a very elaborate scheme to also keep myself
15:47
Speaker 3: motivated and going because this work is, as you know,
15:53
Speaker 3: incredibly challenging, and you need to find a way to
15:58
Speaker 3: manage your mind to really go the distance. And so
16:03
Speaker 3: I have found in my personal experience, and I've been
16:06
Speaker 3: so fortunate to train with incredible performance coaches and business
16:10
Speaker 3: coaches and wealth coaches, it was always that work that
16:15
Speaker 3: paid the highest dividends in my business. That became the
16:18
Speaker 3: X factor because when you're able to then go into
16:22
Speaker 3: rooms with a certain mindset and you're really grounded, you
16:27
Speaker 3: become unstoppable.
16:29
Speaker 1: If you were to try and put it into a
16:32
Speaker 1: sound bite, what is the X factor?
16:36
Speaker 3: The X factor is the ability to bring your total self,
16:44
Speaker 3: your insecurities, your flaws, your strengths, where you shine your.
16:51
Speaker 4: Superpowers into one room.
16:55
Speaker 3: No matter who you are sitting with, and you can
16:58
Speaker 3: hold space in the most powerful way and not be moved,
17:03
Speaker 3: no matter if they take a different position, no matter
17:06
Speaker 3: if they're picking you apart. You are fully and completely
17:13
Speaker 3: totally you.
17:16
Speaker 4: That's what it.
17:16
Speaker 2: Means to me. I'm not there yet, as I hear
17:20
Speaker 2: you say.
17:21
Speaker 4: That, But have you felt that feeling before?
17:24
Speaker 1: Yes, but I recently felt the opposite, and I was
17:30
Speaker 1: so mad at myself. I called one of my girlfriends
17:34
Speaker 1: and I was like, I felt like I was over this.
17:36
Speaker 2: I felt like I.
17:36
Speaker 1: Had done the work to be unmoved, as you say,
17:42
Speaker 1: and I was moved.
17:43
Speaker 4: Here's the thing.
17:44
Speaker 2: It never ends, really, It's never that.
17:49
Speaker 3: It's not your baseline grows stronger over time the more
17:53
Speaker 3: you practice it. And that's what I love that we've
17:56
Speaker 3: got that as part of the book. But it is
18:00
Speaker 3: truly something that you need to prime yourself for when
18:04
Speaker 3: you know you're also going into the hot seat.
18:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a hot seat.
18:09
Speaker 1: Do you have a person in your mind that you
18:12
Speaker 1: think of that you try to channel in those moments.
18:16
Speaker 3: I think about in particularly tough moments. Yeah, I think
18:20
Speaker 3: about me as a five year old girl.
18:23
Speaker 4: I have a picture of her that I keep.
18:26
Speaker 3: She was so innocent and so so so strong, And
18:34
Speaker 3: I think about grandmothers and aunties and just all the
18:38
Speaker 3: women who've come before us who've paved this way so
18:43
Speaker 3: that we can do what we do.
18:45
Speaker 2: And let me just.
18:46
Speaker 3: Say, when you call on them, it is the closest
18:50
Speaker 3: thing to a religious experience as you can have, because
18:54
Speaker 3: that they do surge through you. You do feel them
18:58
Speaker 3: walk into the room with you.
18:59
Speaker 1: Yes, there's this great clip with Maya Angelo and she says,
19:03
Speaker 1: bring everyone with you.
19:04
Speaker 4: And she also says I come as one, but I
19:07
Speaker 4: stand as ten thousand.
19:10
Speaker 2: I love that Maya truth though she has so much
19:13
Speaker 2: wisdom beyond, beyond beyond.
19:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you find that there's any things in your
19:19
Speaker 1: life that detract from bringing that unmoved, strong, powerful person.
19:25
Speaker 1: And I personally find lack of sleep kind.
19:27
Speaker 3: Of just makes me deteriorate the greatest contributor to being
19:34
Speaker 3: in And I call it an amplified state. Okay, it's
19:37
Speaker 3: a state of amplification, so you're almost radiating. You are
19:40
Speaker 3: imagine a radiator all the way turned up, or imagine
19:45
Speaker 3: lights all the way on up.
19:47
Speaker 4: That's kind of the state you're in. And people feel
19:50
Speaker 4: it right.
19:51
Speaker 3: Kids and babies pay attention to you, People stare at you.
19:55
Speaker 2: When you're in this state.
19:57
Speaker 3: Everything just seems to flow a bit different, diferent. All
20:01
Speaker 3: of a sudden, the things that you've wanted so badly,
20:03
Speaker 3: that you've been wishing for just magically start to flow
20:06
Speaker 3: into your inbox, those calls come through. It's more of
20:10
Speaker 3: a state than anything else. And the priming that I
20:14
Speaker 3: do is called the sixty minute prime every single morning.
20:18
Speaker 3: So it's meditation, some form of mindfulness. It's movement, so
20:23
Speaker 3: moving my body. It can be really small. It doesn't
20:26
Speaker 3: mean a hit workout. And it's basically nourishment, so making
20:31
Speaker 3: sure you're eating really well. And I find that once
20:34
Speaker 3: you have that foundation in place, it is so much
20:37
Speaker 3: easier than to walk into those rooms the.
20:41
Speaker 4: Way that you want to.
20:42
Speaker 2: I really love that you use the word unmoved.
20:45
Speaker 1: I think that's a really powerful word because they're going
20:48
Speaker 1: to try to move us.
20:49
Speaker 2: Right. Yes, and the more.
20:52
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've experienced this, but.
20:55
Speaker 3: The more unmovable you become as an object, it almost
21:02
Speaker 3: incites this challenged other people.
21:05
Speaker 2: To try to move you. People don't like it.
21:11
Speaker 1: So your book combines life, mindset, and business mindset, which
21:15
Speaker 1: is something you call one of the kind. So I
21:18
Speaker 1: feel like part of the reason this part of the
21:21
Speaker 1: book stood out is that we tend to compartmentalize those things.
21:25
Speaker 1: Life is over here, business is over here. Why do
21:28
Speaker 1: you feel like it's so important to keep those two intertwined.
21:32
Speaker 3: It is so important to keep them intertwined, because that
21:34
Speaker 3: is when you.
21:35
Speaker 2: Are in your power.
21:36
Speaker 3: Okay, you are in your power when you're not in
21:39
Speaker 3: I'm in business mode now, and so they're going to
21:42
Speaker 3: get a cyborg and they're gonna get tough Danielle who's
21:46
Speaker 3: all business and doesn't share anything personal and doesn't expose
21:50
Speaker 3: any vulnerabilities or what's going on in her total life,
21:55
Speaker 3: or I'm fully in this life state. I'm fully in
21:59
Speaker 3: this state of just being more familiar to you.
22:02
Speaker 2: I don't have a business. It's as if it doesn't exist.
22:05
Speaker 3: That bifurcation is so unreasonable for how we live. And
22:10
Speaker 3: yet every shelf that you walk into in a bookstore,
22:13
Speaker 3: that's how things are separated.
22:16
Speaker 2: You're right, So where does your book in your mind
22:19
Speaker 2: sit on a bookshelf?
22:20
Speaker 3: I'd love it to be straddling you know, the life
22:25
Speaker 3: improvement how to with the business shelves and sitting in
22:29
Speaker 3: the middle, but it will be in the.
22:30
Speaker 2: It's going to be in the business section.
22:32
Speaker 1: I have to tell you how powerful I think that
22:34
Speaker 1: is because I have a lot of authors on here,
22:37
Speaker 1: and most women who write business oriented books get siphoned
22:43
Speaker 1: to inspiration and men's books are on the business shelf.
22:48
Speaker 1: So the fact that your book is on the business
22:49
Speaker 1: shelf is actually very cool.
22:52
Speaker 3: Hopefully it's going to bring It's going to spice things
22:54
Speaker 3: up over there.
22:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, it will, just the cover will be on orange cover.
23:00
Speaker 1: So there are twelve million female entrepreneurs in this country.
23:04
Speaker 1: I was kind of shocked to hear that statistic. One
23:07
Speaker 1: of the fastest growing groups. So what unique approaches or
23:10
Speaker 1: perspectives do women bring to the process of building a
23:13
Speaker 1: business compared to men?
23:16
Speaker 3: Women have so many innate business building qualities. We have
23:22
Speaker 3: incredible traits and attributes like and we've all learned this
23:26
Speaker 3: empathy and vulnerability and cooperation and collaboration. But I think
23:32
Speaker 3: the greatest case for women doing this is because we
23:37
Speaker 3: have such strong wise and normally a business is something
23:42
Speaker 3: that we are creating because we have personally have had
23:47
Speaker 3: one of two things happen. It has either broken our
23:51
Speaker 3: heart we're running at something that has horribly broken our heart,
23:55
Speaker 3: or it lights our heart on fire.
23:58
Speaker 2: WHOA, that gave me chills.
24:00
Speaker 3: You're right, And so when you are creating from that place,
24:05
Speaker 3: you have such power in creation because it is born
24:12
Speaker 3: from such.
24:13
Speaker 1: An authentic place. It is not it's born from fire
24:17
Speaker 1: one way or another. It's born from fire. Ooh, I
24:21
Speaker 1: love that so much. What headwinds do you think female
24:27
Speaker 1: specific entrepreneurs are facing.
24:30
Speaker 4: There are so many headwinds, too many to list.
24:34
Speaker 3: The main categories that I think about are familial. So
24:38
Speaker 3: we all know that families treat genders differently. It's just
24:44
Speaker 3: the reality parents. Google is my son a genius twice
24:48
Speaker 3: as often as Google is my daughter a genius?
24:51
Speaker 4: Wait?
24:51
Speaker 2: Really yeah, true fact, you've got I hate that.
24:56
Speaker 3: I know you've got societal So what's happening you know
25:00
Speaker 3: in society at large? All the ways that we're seeing
25:05
Speaker 3: women get shut out of corporate boardrooms and all.
25:08
Speaker 4: Of these other places. And then there's the cultural aspect.
25:12
Speaker 3: And I think that this is a really endemic area
25:16
Speaker 3: because it's so ingrained. It's so ingrained for us to
25:21
Speaker 3: feel like we're not capable already yet, and so we're
25:26
Speaker 3: more reluctant to make the leap, and so.
25:30
Speaker 4: We just have to be aware.
25:32
Speaker 2: Did you feel that? Absolutely? So, I just think it's
25:37
Speaker 2: to me.
25:37
Speaker 1: It feels shocking to hear you say that, because you like,
25:41
Speaker 1: take a look at your resume. It puts almost anyone's
25:45
Speaker 1: to shame. You know, how did you not feel ready?
25:50
Speaker 1: I've doubted.
25:52
Speaker 3: My own ability secretly for a very long time, since
25:56
Speaker 3: I was a little girl. Really, I've felt horribly insecure
26:03
Speaker 3: in being a right brain person. And the business world
26:07
Speaker 3: is so left brained. Everything is data and analytics and
26:10
Speaker 3: can you support it? What's your quantitative and substantiation? And
26:16
Speaker 3: so much of how my brain operates is on instinct,
26:21
Speaker 3: it's on passion, it's based on mission. I'm much more
26:27
Speaker 3: similar to an artist than anything else. And so feeling
26:30
Speaker 3: like I really had a right to go after the
26:35
Speaker 3: business space was something that I needed to grow into.
26:39
Speaker 3: That took time to grow into. But here's what I
26:43
Speaker 3: will say. The benefits of having been around so many
26:47
Speaker 3: Fortune one hundred tables, and I've been in rooms with
26:50
Speaker 3: the fortune most powerful people on Earth, then.
26:54
Speaker 1: That should be a new category, the fortune most powerful
26:57
Speaker 1: people on Earth.
26:59
Speaker 3: I've said downe with like billionaires and all these different mavericks,
27:04
Speaker 3: and you leave and you feel like I have just
27:08
Speaker 3: as much right to be here. No one has blown
27:12
Speaker 3: me away, as they are just in a different stratosphere
27:16
Speaker 3: of intelligence or capability or drive.
27:20
Speaker 1: That is probably my favorite interview clip from Michelle Obama
27:23
Speaker 1: is when she was like, listen, I was in the
27:25
Speaker 1: White House.
27:26
Speaker 2: I met a lot of people. She said she felt
27:29
Speaker 2: the same way.
27:29
Speaker 1: There you go, when you said to me just a
27:32
Speaker 1: few seconds ago that you were so deeply insecure about
27:36
Speaker 1: your ability, Does any part of you sitting here today
27:41
Speaker 1: feel nervous to admit that.
27:43
Speaker 4: No.
27:45
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people, specifically women, and for
27:49
Speaker 1: good reason, because I think, especially in corporate worlds, were
27:53
Speaker 1: expected to be excellent, feel really nervous to admit I
27:57
Speaker 1: don't know something or I'm not sure how to do that.
28:01
Speaker 1: Why today can you sit here and say that so confidently?
28:05
Speaker 3: Let me just say it's one of the things I
28:06
Speaker 3: love most about you, because curiosity and asking questions takes
28:12
Speaker 3: someone who's very strong in themselves to feel comfortable doing that.
28:17
Speaker 2: It's a sign of strength.
28:19
Speaker 3: Not a weakness, as you know, and so the more
28:22
Speaker 3: of us that can just raise our hand, ask questions,
28:26
Speaker 3: ask questions of each other, admit when we don't know something.
28:31
Speaker 3: Curiosity is just the coolest thing on earth. To be
28:34
Speaker 3: a curious person, You're just going to have a rich,
28:38
Speaker 3: interesting life.
28:40
Speaker 2: I think so too.
28:42
Speaker 1: So you said that fifty percent of women give up
28:45
Speaker 1: on their dreams, right that between my eyes, Yeah, between
28:50
Speaker 1: the eyes, I've never heard that.
28:52
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:53
Speaker 1: I think building something takes a relentlessness. What is your
29:00
Speaker 1: advice for riding the low moments when.
29:03
Speaker 3: You are having a breakdown, which is what I call
29:06
Speaker 3: low moment And we've all had different variations of breakdowns.
29:10
Speaker 3: You have those big b breakdowns with char those cataclysmic
29:15
Speaker 3: life events that just blindside you and bring you to
29:18
Speaker 3: your knees.
29:18
Speaker 1: Those are you're on your knees moments, crying on the
29:21
Speaker 1: kitchen floor, crying on.
29:22
Speaker 3: The kitchen floor, divorce, losing your job, illness.
29:29
Speaker 2: Those are your big bee moments.
29:31
Speaker 3: Your little bee breakdown moments are that lack of alignment
29:34
Speaker 3: what I was talking about in the job, where you're
29:36
Speaker 3: somewhere it's this gnawing, this feeling that something's off. You
29:40
Speaker 3: can't quite put your finger on it. You're in the
29:43
Speaker 3: wrong rooms, you're surrounded by the wrong people. You just
29:46
Speaker 3: don't feel, you know, a sense of alignment. Those big
29:50
Speaker 3: bee breakdown moments, and I have more and more of them,
29:53
Speaker 3: the bigger swings I'm taking in life now.
29:57
Speaker 4: But the beautiful thing is that you come.
29:59
Speaker 3: To RECOGNI them as this unbelievable gift. So I know,
30:03
Speaker 3: celebrate someone, which probably they find so annoying.
30:06
Speaker 2: If a girlfriend will call me and say.
30:08
Speaker 3: I'm having this awful breakdown because they know to call
30:10
Speaker 3: it that, or a teammate woman on my team, I cheer.
30:14
Speaker 3: I'm like, let's get the champagne out, let's celebrate. This
30:17
Speaker 3: means something unbelievable is about to.
30:19
Speaker 2: Happen to you. I love that so much.
30:21
Speaker 3: And the magic is the more you can embrace the breakdown,
30:26
Speaker 3: not resist it, because that's where all suffering comes from,
30:30
Speaker 3: is when you resist something but truly welcome it and
30:34
Speaker 3: invite it in the faster the break the breakthrough will
30:38
Speaker 3: come for you. So it's this very interesting. You gotta
30:43
Speaker 3: let yourself break down. You gotta let the whole situation
30:46
Speaker 3: break down. You gotta let your life fall on the floor.
30:49
Speaker 3: You got to look at the broken pieces on the
30:51
Speaker 3: floor and not try to pick them up and just say, Okay,
30:56
Speaker 3: there's something here that is going to get put back
30:59
Speaker 3: together in this beautiful mosaic, in this beautiful way.
31:03
Speaker 2: I just don't know what it is yet.
31:04
Speaker 1: I think that is so extra powerful coming from you,
31:08
Speaker 1: because you're like a type a accomplished person who's not
31:13
Speaker 1: just saying like, give it all up, right, Like you're saying,
31:17
Speaker 1: there's something beautiful here to put back together.
31:20
Speaker 2: There's something beautiful.
31:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's a piece of advice that you have in
31:24
Speaker 1: your book that you really wish you.
31:27
Speaker 2: Had starting out?
31:28
Speaker 1: I can imagine there's a lot of it, but is
31:30
Speaker 1: there one that really sticks out?
31:32
Speaker 3: I love the idea that you always have it in you.
31:38
Speaker 3: So so much of the work that we need to
31:40
Speaker 3: do as women is to unlearn. It's an unlearning, and
31:46
Speaker 3: so so much of what is shared here isn't even
31:50
Speaker 3: revelatory in some places, it's just giving permission to unlearn, to.
31:57
Speaker 4: Let things get messy, and you then use that as
32:02
Speaker 4: a place to build from.
32:05
Speaker 1: You interview women from a ton of different backgrounds on
32:08
Speaker 1: your build like a woman's series. Is there something that
32:11
Speaker 1: you've noticed as a through line in successful people?
32:17
Speaker 3: The most successful people that I've met all have a
32:21
Speaker 3: very clear vision. So there is a vision that is
32:25
Speaker 3: so powerful. And I love the idea of trying to
32:30
Speaker 3: find something that is to the tenth exponent of what
32:35
Speaker 3: you feel like you could create in one lifetime. So
32:38
Speaker 3: I should be able to sit here and share it
32:40
Speaker 3: with you and you would.
32:42
Speaker 2: Say you crazy, you crazy.
32:45
Speaker 3: It should sound delusionally crazy, like embrace the crazy.
32:50
Speaker 2: Is really is my whole philosophy around visioning.
32:54
Speaker 3: And I think that's really the most important place to start.
32:59
Speaker 3: And it's the common day nominator with the most successful
33:01
Speaker 3: women is they all have.
33:03
Speaker 2: A vision that they will not deviate from, come hell
33:06
Speaker 2: or high water, no matter who says what. They don't
33:12
Speaker 2: do it. They don't know how, but they don't do it.
33:15
Speaker 1: What's your relationship with time and accomplishment. Do you feel
33:18
Speaker 1: like you're in a rush.
33:19
Speaker 2: I'm horribly impatient. I'm working on it.
33:23
Speaker 3: I think that things should happen like this, and.
33:27
Speaker 2: You imagine it and then it should be out in
33:29
Speaker 2: the world.
33:30
Speaker 3: And some periods that have been most uncomfortable for me
33:35
Speaker 3: have been those periods of waiting where you are planting seeds,
33:39
Speaker 3: where you are where you're writing a book, where you
33:43
Speaker 3: are developing a television show, where you are working on
33:47
Speaker 3: a big project that is this quiet project that you
33:50
Speaker 3: can't talk about or share with the world. And it
33:53
Speaker 3: takes a really long time to do something meaningful that
33:59
Speaker 3: truly has purpose. Takes a really long time. Things take
34:04
Speaker 3: a lot longer than you expect. And I think a
34:06
Speaker 3: lot of people do check out mile twenty two like
34:10
Speaker 3: they are so close, they are so so close, and
34:14
Speaker 3: so many people.
34:15
Speaker 4: I think give up because they don't realize how long
34:20
Speaker 4: things take to go to the distance.
34:23
Speaker 1: It's hard to recognize the moment when you're supposed to
34:28
Speaker 1: hang it up.
34:29
Speaker 4: That is the hardest thing in the world.
34:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, the hardest thing in the world is that in
34:35
Speaker 3: between where you have started a project, something that's been
34:39
Speaker 3: on your heart. It's not in the real world yet,
34:43
Speaker 3: it's in this very fragile incubation state. Yeah, no one
34:47
Speaker 3: else has seen it, no one else has really.
34:49
Speaker 4: Responded to it.
34:51
Speaker 3: You're pouring time, money, attention into this thing and you
34:56
Speaker 3: have no idea whether you're delusionally crazy or whether it's
35:01
Speaker 3: actually going to take flight.
35:03
Speaker 2: That is the.
35:05
Speaker 4: Hardest, most uncomfortable time in the world. And I've had
35:10
Speaker 4: a lot of it.
35:12
Speaker 2: You have it right now. No, right now, we're living,
35:15
Speaker 2: we're living out loud.
35:16
Speaker 3: Things are in the world, things are feeling good. But
35:20
Speaker 3: I've had many years of that.
35:24
Speaker 1: You call yourself one of the most fearful people on
35:27
Speaker 1: earth and at the same time one of the most fearless.
35:31
Speaker 1: So I feel like we all have this idea that
35:34
Speaker 1: you're either in one camp or the other.
35:37
Speaker 2: Why are you both? How are you both?
35:39
Speaker 5: I guess I really want us all to embrace the
35:44
Speaker 5: diconomies more because every coin has the equal and opposite
35:51
Speaker 5: thing on the other side.
35:52
Speaker 3: Right, So if you're a fearless person, chances are you
35:56
Speaker 3: also have a lot of fear that lives inside.
35:59
Speaker 2: And it's true. I just I mean, we talk.
36:02
Speaker 3: About fear a lot, we all do, but it's a
36:05
Speaker 3: subject that never gets old For me.
36:07
Speaker 4: It really doesn't, because I'm kind of peeing my pants,
36:11
Speaker 4: like at least a couple times a month.
36:14
Speaker 2: You know, with what I'm doing, Like I'm scared a lot.
36:17
Speaker 2: I'm scared a lot, and you're also taking big swings
36:20
Speaker 2: yeah yeah.
36:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, and any one of them could, in my mind
36:25
Speaker 3: still knock me out for the count. Like I still
36:27
Speaker 3: live with that kind of and it's not true, but
36:31
Speaker 3: that's what I think sometimes.
36:33
Speaker 1: You know what's interesting hearing you say this makes me
36:36
Speaker 1: think of was that a friend's wedding a few months ago,
36:40
Speaker 1: and we were at the rehearsal dinner and I was
36:44
Speaker 1: talking to an old friend at the bar and he
36:46
Speaker 1: had started a new company, and he was like, I'm
36:49
Speaker 1: I just had a kid, I have a wife, like
36:52
Speaker 1: I have been building a family. We have a house,
36:54
Speaker 1: and I am scared out of my mind every day.
36:56
Speaker 1: And I thought, I said, thank you for sharing that
36:58
Speaker 1: with me, because so rarely do I hear men say
37:01
Speaker 1: I'm scared out of my mind. We hear it from
37:03
Speaker 1: women more so, and I guess maybe that is what
37:06
Speaker 1: it means in some ways to build like a woman
37:09
Speaker 1: is to be both of those things and vocalize it proudly.
37:13
Speaker 4: I love that.
37:14
Speaker 3: And my hope with this work, if it could do anything,
37:18
Speaker 3: it would be that we take up a bit more
37:21
Speaker 3: space in the world, and we also support each other
37:24
Speaker 3: as we mess up, because perfectionism is so at odds
37:29
Speaker 3: with this work, like we're gonna take swings, we're gonna
37:34
Speaker 3: be wrong, we're gonna.
37:36
Speaker 2: Mess up, we're gonna face plant it is. It is
37:41
Speaker 2: not You're not gonna have.
37:43
Speaker 3: This perfect batting average that here, I'm using sports analogies.
37:47
Speaker 2: I don't even like sports, but well.
37:49
Speaker 1: You use face plant because I actually, if you're comfortable,
37:53
Speaker 1: I'd love for you to share one of the capital
37:55
Speaker 1: B breakdowns.
37:56
Speaker 2: Or faceblanks that you write about in the book.
37:59
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you call it demolition and you describe your
38:04
Speaker 1: life as shattered.
38:05
Speaker 3: Suddenly I was engaged to be married this time seven
38:12
Speaker 3: more than once, but this particular time, and I was
38:15
Speaker 3: madly in love, and three weeks before my storybook.
38:19
Speaker 2: Wedding, I had the long.
38:21
Speaker 3: Lace train, I had the beautiful sad in dress. It
38:25
Speaker 3: was all the things that you dream about when you're.
38:27
Speaker 1: A little girl.
38:29
Speaker 3: And I found out, or more like via forced interrogation,
38:33
Speaker 3: that my partner at the time was, let's just say
38:36
Speaker 3: doing things that sent me into an Alice in Wonderland
38:41
Speaker 3: spiral cheating would be an understatement. And it wasn't so
38:46
Speaker 3: much that, honestly, it was that I hadn't.
38:49
Speaker 2: Seen it coming.
38:51
Speaker 3: So I was so blindsided talk about big B breakdown.
38:55
Speaker 3: I was completely brought to my knees because I felt
38:58
Speaker 3: like I couldn't trust myself anymore that I couldn't read
39:02
Speaker 3: the situation for what it was, and so we broke
39:06
Speaker 3: up and I took my mom on my honeymoon to Africa.
39:11
Speaker 2: I love this plus one does. The rose petals are
39:15
Speaker 2: strewed on the bed, It says you last name. That
39:19
Speaker 2: wasn't my last name. It's so sex in the city.
39:22
Speaker 2: It is so it is.
39:23
Speaker 3: It was everything, And I remember just hearing these lions
39:27
Speaker 3: call to each other in the middle of the night,
39:29
Speaker 3: and one night I just roared back with all my
39:32
Speaker 3: night and I realized it was this part of me.
39:36
Speaker 3: I had become this faded, muted version of myself in
39:43
Speaker 3: that relationship, as I think can so often happen.
39:46
Speaker 2: It was not his fault. That was me. I let
39:49
Speaker 2: myself slip away.
39:51
Speaker 4: And I had traded that for this vibrant, technicolor version
39:56
Speaker 4: of myself, which is who I am.
39:58
Speaker 3: And so I came back from that trip and that
40:02
Speaker 3: was my real breakthrough. The breakthrough was I'm never going
40:05
Speaker 3: to live like this again. I am going to start
40:08
Speaker 3: my own business. I'm going to have my own money,
40:11
Speaker 3: I am going to be able to call the shots
40:13
Speaker 3: in my own life.
40:14
Speaker 4: And I will be able to easily leave someone or
40:17
Speaker 4: something that does not serve me.
40:20
Speaker 2: Part of that is financial.
40:23
Speaker 1: I know that a huge part of your mission with
40:26
Speaker 1: Build Like a Woman is for women to have financial independence.
40:30
Speaker 1: I have, in a different situation, been there.
40:35
Speaker 2: I didn't take my mom to a haunting food in Africa.
40:37
Speaker 2: That's epic.
40:38
Speaker 1: But I was with a boyfriend and we broke up
40:42
Speaker 1: and I had to find an apartment and I was like,
40:44
Speaker 1: how the hell am I going to afford my apartment?
40:47
Speaker 2: And I said, never again will I be in this position?
40:50
Speaker 1: Was the big b breakdown, sort of like the fire
40:55
Speaker 1: that catalyzed that part of your mission.
40:58
Speaker 3: Yes, I was able to see with a lot of
41:03
Speaker 3: clarity that men in my world were the ones holding
41:10
Speaker 3: power because power was equated with money, and so they
41:16
Speaker 3: then in turn were able to call the shots. And
41:19
Speaker 3: I think if you work at a high level in business,
41:22
Speaker 3: I think if you were in certain orbits that can
41:27
Speaker 3: happen pretty easily.
41:28
Speaker 4: It can happen, by the way, at.
41:29
Speaker 3: Any level of income, you know, it can also starting out,
41:33
Speaker 3: I remember feeling that it was it's just a reality
41:36
Speaker 3: that men do make more money.
41:39
Speaker 4: Than women do.
41:40
Speaker 3: So it doesn't matter if your salary is twenty five
41:42
Speaker 3: thousand dollars a year. If someone's making thirty five, like,
41:46
Speaker 3: it's very disproportionate. It's a huge difference, and they're able
41:50
Speaker 3: to do things that you're not able to do, and
41:52
Speaker 3: there does become this power and balance in the relationship.
41:55
Speaker 2: So yeah, I knew.
41:57
Speaker 4: I never wanted that to happen again.
42:01
Speaker 1: So you say on page one hundred and twenty eight,
42:04
Speaker 1: this is the only thing where I paged it out
42:06
Speaker 1: because I loved it. You said, where the mind goes,
42:08
Speaker 1: money flows. What have you learned about that?
42:12
Speaker 3: So much of making money is about a mindset and
42:18
Speaker 3: having like for real, for real, it really is what
42:22
Speaker 3: you can You break that down for me, I think
42:24
Speaker 3: about money in the same way that different birds.
42:30
Speaker 2: Live in the world.
42:31
Speaker 4: So you've got your.
42:32
Speaker 3: Ostrich that kind of buries its head in the sand,
42:34
Speaker 3: doesn't think about money, doesn't talk about money. You've got
42:37
Speaker 3: your sparrows that are constantly running around collecting any as
42:42
Speaker 3: much twigs and branches as they can, but they're just
42:44
Speaker 3: stockpiling everything and not spending anything. And then you have
42:49
Speaker 3: the hawk, which is so interesting. This hawk is kind
42:52
Speaker 3: of surveying the landscape and diving after things with precision
42:56
Speaker 3: and grace. And the spoiler alert.
42:59
Speaker 2: Is you really want to be the hawk.
43:01
Speaker 4: You want to be the hawk.
43:02
Speaker 3: You want to be someone that becomes really good at
43:05
Speaker 3: what you do, undeniably good at what you do, but
43:10
Speaker 3: then has this very broad perspective on what you want
43:14
Speaker 3: to go after and.
43:15
Speaker 2: Chase down and invest behind.
43:17
Speaker 3: And I think the really important thing is to always
43:19
Speaker 3: deliney again between life expenses and business expenses. And this
43:25
Speaker 3: is where the two really do go hand in hand,
43:28
Speaker 3: because you need to keep reinvesting back into your.
43:32
Speaker 2: Business for it to grow.
43:34
Speaker 3: It is not the same as going and getting a
43:36
Speaker 3: new pair of shoes or a handbag at all, and
43:39
Speaker 3: people confuse the two, and inversely, you can end up
43:44
Speaker 3: pouring all this money back into your personal life and
43:47
Speaker 3: not spending much on your business. So it really becomes
43:51
Speaker 3: much more of this organic money is movement, and you've
43:56
Speaker 3: got to just follow the flow. You've got to make
43:58
Speaker 3: sure that you keep channeling it back into your business
44:01
Speaker 3: and that you're making really good decisions in your personal
44:04
Speaker 3: life that don't take away from it. There's a lot
44:08
Speaker 3: more more articulately said in the book about that.
44:12
Speaker 1: I think you said that really well, okay, but I
44:14
Speaker 1: was a political science major, and I had this professor.
44:17
Speaker 1: We took like a political economy class, and he said,
44:20
Speaker 1: before the Spanish Inquisition, Spain was the richest country in
44:23
Speaker 1: the world because they had gold, and it's like the
44:26
Speaker 1: Golden rule.
44:26
Speaker 2: Whoever has the gold rules? And they ended up being.
44:31
Speaker 1: One of the poorest countries just one hundred years later
44:35
Speaker 1: because they never invested into their economy or in other
44:38
Speaker 1: industries and continents like Asia who had the spice trade reinvested,
44:45
Speaker 1: And I just think about that.
44:46
Speaker 2: You have to reinvest and it is not the same
44:49
Speaker 2: as persons, and.
44:50
Speaker 3: You need someone who can be an accountability partner at
44:53
Speaker 3: times when you're making those big bets to put.
44:56
Speaker 2: Money back into your business. Yeah, okay.
45:00
Speaker 1: Arracorkrin called your Build Like a Woman's series the no
45:03
Speaker 1: nonsense roadmap you need to get your business off the
45:06
Speaker 1: ground and thriving.
45:08
Speaker 2: She said it way better than I did.
45:10
Speaker 1: What do you think is a piece of advice that
45:13
Speaker 1: you really needed in your book?
45:15
Speaker 2: That's a really good question.
45:16
Speaker 3: The advice I needed most in my book was the
45:21
Speaker 3: idea that you need a really strong team around you,
45:28
Speaker 3: and at least initially, I think a lot of women
45:30
Speaker 3: start as a solopreneur. You start as me, myself and
45:33
Speaker 3: I and this idea that you have to really do
45:38
Speaker 3: a lot of deep personal work to become a mindful leader,
45:43
Speaker 3: to really understand who you are as a leader and
45:47
Speaker 3: what you can bring to your team before you're also ever.
45:51
Speaker 2: Able to lead.
45:54
Speaker 1: So one of the things that I've loved learning about
45:56
Speaker 1: you as we've gotten to know each other is how
45:59
Speaker 1: much you invest in that personal work. You really spend
46:02
Speaker 1: a lot of time and money on coaches for people
46:05
Speaker 1: who are not in the position yet to reinvest in
46:08
Speaker 1: themselves with coaching. Are their resources that you went to
46:13
Speaker 1: previously that you feel like can really help someone.
46:16
Speaker 2: There stalking who stalking? What's stock? Stock? People? Stock stock?
46:23
Speaker 2: So I'm like stocking stalking is.
46:28
Speaker 4: And you have no money, you just stock saying pick
46:31
Speaker 4: some people call it.
46:33
Speaker 3: Three five different people who you really admire, and you
46:38
Speaker 3: watch their every move. You watch how they move, you
46:42
Speaker 3: watch what they talk about, you watch what they're consuming.
46:46
Speaker 4: You read the books that they wrote.
46:49
Speaker 3: You watch every single interview that they've done.
46:53
Speaker 2: I know you've done this with Barbara. You you become.
46:57
Speaker 3: A student of their game, and I think that is
47:00
Speaker 3: one of the most powerful.
47:01
Speaker 4: Ways to learn. That's how I was always a learner.
47:05
Speaker 3: I grew up learning to ski by following great skiers
47:09
Speaker 3: behind them. I never had a single lesson, but I'd
47:11
Speaker 3: follow their tracks and learned all of these incredible things
47:15
Speaker 3: about what to do and not do.
47:17
Speaker 4: So that's what i'd say when you're starting. You don't
47:20
Speaker 4: need a mentor, you don't need fancy coaches. You just
47:24
Speaker 4: need to get a little bit industrious.
47:28
Speaker 2: Do you remember the people that you stalked?
47:30
Speaker 4: Always? Sure? Do I still stalk people?
47:34
Speaker 2: I mean Oprah was one of my first obviously, Yeah,
47:37
Speaker 2: we're calling that in for you. Yeah, we all know.
47:39
Speaker 2: I'm a big Oprah stalker.
47:41
Speaker 3: Barbara corkran with someone I stalked here we are full circle.
47:45
Speaker 3: Started stalking her in my early twenties, and.
47:48
Speaker 2: Now she's part of the book. I mean, there's so
47:50
Speaker 2: many great people to stalk, honestly.
47:52
Speaker 1: So okay, well, you asked some nuts and bolts questions
47:57
Speaker 1: in your books. So I usually do rapid fire, but
47:59
Speaker 1: we're going to call it nuts and boats today. What
48:02
Speaker 1: do you value as equality most in other people?
48:05
Speaker 2: Integrity? What's one thing that you're afraid of right now?
48:09
Speaker 4: Not living up to my full potential while I'm here
48:12
Speaker 4: on earth.
48:13
Speaker 2: That's what a lot of great people share with me.
48:16
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, it's very common when you have big dreams
48:19
Speaker 1: and goals. What's one thing that you would change about
48:23
Speaker 1: your life right now?
48:25
Speaker 2: More time with family.
48:27
Speaker 1: One thing that you think is holding you back, my perfectionism,
48:33
Speaker 1: One quality that is propelling you forward, my resolve. What
48:39
Speaker 1: is a book that has changed your life? Something you
48:41
Speaker 1: think everybody should read? The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck?
48:45
Speaker 1: Unreal when they give you these, these.
48:48
Speaker 2: Are for me?
48:49
Speaker 1: If you can please pick a question out of the deck.
48:52
Speaker 2: Oh I love this. Look at the gold you guys.
48:55
Speaker 2: How gorgeous? Thank you? Wow, this could not be more fitly?
49:01
Speaker 2: Which no, no, no, it's for you.
49:04
Speaker 3: What is the title of your memoir for this season
49:07
Speaker 3: of your life?
49:09
Speaker 2: Build like?
49:09
Speaker 1: Oh man, you even said that, like, oh bro, build
49:14
Speaker 1: like a build like hold on. And my last question,
49:19
Speaker 1: what is the smartest decision you've ever made?
49:22
Speaker 2: Betting on myself every damn time, again and again and
49:27
Speaker 2: again and again.
49:28
Speaker 4: I will take that bet all day, every day for
49:30
Speaker 4: the rest.
49:31
Speaker 2: Of my life. We have to end on that. That's perfect,
49:34
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. Gee.
49:40
Speaker 6: I've been using magic mind instead of my morning coffee. Yeah,
49:46
Speaker 6: I get all of the caffeine with none of the jitters.
49:50
Speaker 6: It's so good because I can't have a cup of
49:52
Speaker 6: coffee past eleven im for I won't sleep, So this
49:57
Speaker 6: I can take in between an interview.
50:00
Speaker 1: Little boost mm hmm.
50:03
Speaker 6: I really feel like it improves my focus.
50:06
Speaker 4: Who's my energy in a natural way?
50:08
Speaker 2: A big fan?
50:10
Speaker 1: Can I try one?
50:12
Speaker 2: Wait?
50:12
Speaker 4: I should give you one.
50:13
Speaker 2: That's not we'll do fair share, you know, Okay, the
50:18
Speaker 2: catch and I with the car. Yeah, it's good.
50:22
Speaker 6: It's actually delicious.
50:23
Speaker 2: Be patted. No, it smells like Hawaii. It smells like Hawaii.
50:29
Speaker 4: It's a way to describe it.
50:32
Speaker 1: Actually is really delicious.
50:34
Speaker 6: Jack would be pay Are you a coffee person?
50:37
Speaker 2: Yeah? I literally keep them behind my chair.
50:44
Speaker 6: I really think, because like you can't have a caffeine
50:47
Speaker 6: in the afternoon, you're sensitive to it. And I do
50:50
Speaker 6: think it helps with my focus and elevates like mental clarity.
50:54
Speaker 2: I think if it's during a day where I can't
50:57
Speaker 2: take like.
50:57
Speaker 6: Five min a nap and I need to power through,
51:00
Speaker 6: it's really good.
51:01
Speaker 4: I know you're working with them, but like I want
51:03
Speaker 4: to use this.
51:09
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is today's a good
51:12
Speaker 1: day to have a good day. I'll see you next week.