Latest / Career Identity + Growth Conversations for Professional Women: Exposing the Hidden Reality / 047: Uncovering Story through The Success Codex: Ankara Rose on Human Design and Astrology

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047: Uncovering Story through The Success Codex: Ankara Rose on Human Design and Astrology · Career Identity + Growth Conversations for Professional Women: Exposing the Hidden Reality

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, for the last five episodes, we've been talking about stories,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: the stories we create and carry about ourselves, the stories
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: that we carry about other people. We've explored different aspects
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: of story, and we've talked about a whole bunch of tools. Today,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about one of my favorite tools.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: And I'll try not to get super nerdy.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Please get nerdy, Love you nerdy, Sandra, We're.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Going to talk about human design. We're gonna be talking
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: about astrology and a system that I found online about
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: three years ago. I have fallen absolutely in love not
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: just with the system but the woman who.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Brought it forward.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: She's absolutely amazing. And Cara Rose, I'm Sandra Lint and
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I'm in at garsak and we are so excited to
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: invite Akara to this conversation on exposing the hidden reality.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: So let's start with Andkara, who are you? What do
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: you do?
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: Thank you for having me. I'm like, it's such a
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: big question, who are you?
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: It's the nicest thing.
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: I mean, we could spend the next hour of you
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: just kind of going down strange rabbit holes around that. Hello,
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: thank you for having me. I'm on car Rose, I
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: am oh gosh, I'm so many things in this context
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: and what we're talking about today, I think we're really
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: highlighting my knowledge, my passion for tools, systems, strategies, modalities
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: that help us to be ourselves, to know ourselves, to
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: trust ourselves. And so in that context and probably most
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: of my life, I'm the creator of the success Codex.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: So this system.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: Is an evolution of human design. And really they're all
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: related astrology, human design, gene keys, and the Success Codex.
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: They all actually have a route also.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: With the e ching.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: You know, I've been an entrepreneur for over twenty years,
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: first in person and then all online.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: It's been quite the journey, the ups.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: And downs, and you know, once I found and I
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: actually found human design and the gene keys.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: After I made I'm not going to call it the.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: Worst investment of my life, but I will say the
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: hardest lesson that I learned through an out of aligned
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: investment of my life. And I hit a complete nervous
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: system freeze and I realized that I was operating so
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: far out of who I was. And then, like the
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: way the universe miraculously works and drops something on your lap,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: someone randomly said, hey want a human design reading, and
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: I said, sure, I had heard of the system that
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: set me down the road of falling in love with
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: gene keys using human design, but really falling in love
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: with gene keys, and then realizing that other entrepreneurs like
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: me needed these systems to be evolved and made more
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: accessible and made more three D regular. No special esoteric
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: powers needed, despite them being esoteric systems, to understand them
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: and to actually apply them, because there is really valuable
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: medicine in these tools. But you know, when they're using
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: language that everyday people don't use, sometimes people don't recognize
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: that they can receive that medicine.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: And so what came through me was.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Translation of the most interesting part of human design, which
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: to me is the gates in the lines, and blending
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: that with astrology through the lens of business, entrepreneurship and leadership,
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: and that birthed the success codecs. I don't know if
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: you ask for the story of how the system came out,
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: but that's what came out. So this is the work
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: that I've been doing for the past several years. It's
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: my joy, it's my passion. It is where I am
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: such a nerd. I'm constantly evolving and bringing this system
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: to different levels while also building a community of highly
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: qualified people who know how to use this system without
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: making it someone's story, with out making it someone's authority,
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: because I believe that we're actually at a new point
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  Speaker 4: in evolution where if we can't help service providers as coaches,
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: as leaders, if we can't help people be themselves, we
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: can't support that, then we're not really helping. So that's
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: my big passion in terms of this work other work
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: I do. I've been a musician pretty much my whole life,
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: and so my husband and I have a band.
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  Speaker 3: We play locally. We're currently recording. We're recording another album,
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  Speaker 3: so we do that.
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  Speaker 4: I'm a mom of two teenagers. I have an orange
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: tabby who typically will join me on my lap during
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: all calls. But I locked him out today, so we'll see.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: If you start scratching, I might let him in. Is
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  Speaker 4: there anything else?
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  Speaker 3: Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: And then just one other piece is that you know,
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  Speaker 4: I've been a healer for many, many years as well,
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  Speaker 4: like different energy modalities and the work that's been the
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: most powerful for me in terms of my transformation. Right,
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  Speaker 4: So it's like one thing you learn your human design,
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: you learn your astrology. You see your success codecs, and
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  Speaker 4: you can understand these pieces, but how do we actually
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  Speaker 4: get out of our own way enough to start living them,
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  Speaker 4: like enough to just experiment and see, Okay, well I
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: learned this about myself?
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  Speaker 3: Is it true? Does it even fit me?
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  Speaker 4: Most of us, at least nerds like me.
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  Speaker 3: We love to learn. We want to learn everything we
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: can about ourselves.
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  Speaker 4: But the learning doesn't actually create the change. It's like readiness.
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  Speaker 3: We're building knowledge, we need to apply it.
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  Speaker 4: The learning is necessary. So subconscious rewiring and nervous system
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  Speaker 4: regulation and somatic tools have been my best friend on
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  Speaker 4: this journey, the most supportive tools and modalities that I
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  Speaker 4: have that fit really beautifully actually with the self knowledge
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  Speaker 4: of success codecs. So that's the other piece that I
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  Speaker 4: weave in.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: That was long. So let me know what you think.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I love you. Sorry, I'll wait, you're finished drinking. And
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I said that, Yeah, I think what you hit on
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: right at the very end is something I know in it.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: And I see often people attend a training class and
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: they come back really excited, and then it gets really
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  Speaker 1: hard because it's not so easy to apply what you've learned,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: and you think the learning is the transformation, and it
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  Speaker 1: is so not.
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  Speaker 5: It's the awareness, right. The learning is the awareness, and
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: then you have to decide what transformation you want from
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: that learning, and then how to apply it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And in the success Codec system we talk about
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: it in three levels. So there's information, right, and I'm
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: gathering information. Right, something sparked my interest. I want to
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  Speaker 4: learn it. Step two or level two is application.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Well, now this is where you know, rubber meets the road.
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  Speaker 4: This is where I'm testing and trying. And then the
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  Speaker 4: third level is integration. Right, I've refined, I've decided and
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: found out from real life experience what works and what
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  Speaker 4: doesn't work.
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  Speaker 6: And now from that space, I'm living differently. I'm being differently,
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: you know, like without conscious effort, we do hit.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: A point where the conscious work we do on ourselves
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  Speaker 4: crests over into this is just who I am now.
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  Speaker 3: And that takes time. It just does.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: And I liked what you said we often fight.
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: It too, Yeah, yeah, because well, and I wonder how
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: much of the struggle you were saying professionals, business people, entrepreneurs.
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: I wonder how much of that struggle looking back at
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  Speaker 5: my my challenge is I know, that the struggle was
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  Speaker 5: me trying to fight the core realities of who I
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: was instead of understanding that and working along with that.
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  Speaker 5: Do you see that in your work and is that
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: part of the reason you went deeper looking for a system?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 4: I mean I listen, I can go off on this
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  Speaker 4: and I'll try not to because it might it might
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  Speaker 4: not be helpful. But you know, the way that I
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: see it as this, we have been told from the
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  Speaker 4: time that we're itty bitty children, that we're not good enough.
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  Speaker 3: We've been shown all of the ways.
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  Speaker 4: Every marketing content that comes our way is pointing out
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  Speaker 4: something that they tell us we're missing. We don't have
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  Speaker 4: it down, we don't have it, we're not good enough.
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  Speaker 4: Something that we want.
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  Speaker 3: Is outside of ourselves.
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  Speaker 4: So the second that we decide we want to be ourselves,
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  Speaker 4: the first thing we have to do, and I think
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: this is the conversation that you guys were having, is
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  Speaker 4: we have to dismantle all of the stuff that we've
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: been told we are that actually we're not. And that
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  Speaker 4: is terrifying because along with you know, like taking on
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: these identities and these you know, rules and self concepts,
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  Speaker 4: comes a lot of belonging, comes a lot of fitting
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: in comes a lot of acceptable behavior, and I think,
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  Speaker 4: you know, I think many of us can agree, like
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: fear of being picked out of the tribe and rejected
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: and not being loved and not being accepted, is that's
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  Speaker 4: a really powerful fear that can get in our way.
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  Speaker 4: So you know, we've got that kind of as an undercurrent.
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  Speaker 3: And then I think it's changing now.
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  Speaker 4: But for a long time, there weren't a lot of
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  Speaker 4: models of people who we could see and look at
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  Speaker 4: and be like, this person is so themselves and that's
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  Speaker 4: not it's not a coincidence, but that's what brought them
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  Speaker 4: to that level of success. You know. I think that
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  Speaker 4: like we can see people climbing and following the rules
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  Speaker 4: and then maybe like, well, now I'm going to be myself, right,
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  Speaker 4: waiting until well, once I'm famous enough, once I make
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  Speaker 4: enough money, once I've like climbed that corporate ladder to
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  Speaker 4: certain steps, well now I have the freedom to be myself.
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  Speaker 4: I want to see people climbing, like if you're going
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  Speaker 4: to climb, climb as you right, And I think I
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  Speaker 4: personally believe that's where all of humanity's going. I think
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  Speaker 4: it's why we're all sick of marketing. I think we're
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: a lot of us are sick of optimizing ourselves, right,
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  Speaker 4: this idea that like I have to make.
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  Speaker 3: Myself better by doing something, by healing something.
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  Speaker 4: But I love healing, I love doing, I love learning,
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  Speaker 4: but like I really actually just love being myself. It's
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  Speaker 4: it's a courageous act.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah. When I had my daughter, I went
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: through well, after I had my daughter, I went through
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: a real what I would call existential moment. And it
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: was because I realized I had struggled so long to
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: have children and I wasn't spending time with them. And
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I don't mean I wasn't spending time with them in
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: the sense that they needed to become everything. It was
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: that we were just spending so much time rushing from
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: one place to another. I thought, well, wait a minute,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: that's what culminated in me actually stepping away from my
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: full time career. But before that, there were three years
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: of bargaining, anger, denial, like all those stages of grief
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: where I realized I could tell her anything I wanted to.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: You can do anything you want, you can be anything
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  Speaker 1: you want, you can blah blah blah. But if I
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: didn't embody those that's what she was going to see.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: And the reality was I wasn't embodying any of those things.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: My healing journey has involved gestalt and therapy and somatic
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: work in women's circles and human design and astrology and
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: now the success codecs, and in every single one of those,
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  Speaker 1: the most impactful thing I've learned has been taught to
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  Speaker 1: me by Ankara, and that is it's not about doing different,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: It's about stepping in an bodying that energy, your.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: True energy, your essence.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, because we can do anything, but who is who
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  Speaker 4: is the version of us who's doing it right? We
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: can like I talk about this with you know, just
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: with business all the time, right, Like we can all
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: create a funnel. You can create a funnel. My creating
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: a funnel because I'm desperate for clients. My creating a
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: funnel because I think if I don't have the funnel,
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to make money. My creating the funnel
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: because I have a deep desire to serve people and
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: this feels like a really exciting aligned way to invite
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: them into my world. And you know, it's and it's
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: the same things as climbing, you know, like hearing you
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: share that, really, you know want I just want to
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: acknowledge the leadership within you right to actually feel and
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: then to follow to say yes to it is my
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: sacred responsibility to say yes to living the way and
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: modeling the being that I want my daughter to have
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: the same.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: Opportunities to be.
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: I want to teach through who I am, not what
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I say, not what I do. And I think it's
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: the perfect metaphor for you know, to me, the highest
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: forms of leadership are that. And I think we've all,
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: like I think we've been pretty scarred by a lot
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: of leaders saying do as I say, not as I do.
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  Speaker 3: When we see it all the time, there's you.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Know, oh yeah yeah, Annette and I are going to
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: make a whole show. It might be a year long.
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: Of the challenging leadership experiences we've been put through.
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  Speaker 3: Can you imagine?
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  Speaker 4: Can you just imagine what it would be like to
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: work in an organization where from the top tippy top
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: to the absolute bottom everyone knew and honored who they were,
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: and they honored each other and who they were. Can
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: you just even imagine? I mean, we see this in
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: small systems, we see it in the household too, the
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: difference between a household where you know, like parents are
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: trying to make their kids into something that they're not,
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: and you're resentful of your partner for not being who
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: you wish they were, and nobody knows themselves because everyone's
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: trying to reach other people's expectations versus.
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: Like, I honor you being different than me.
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: That's probably why we've been brought together as souls, right,
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: if you believe on the soul level, or if even
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: on the three D human consciousness level, right, we're drawn
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: to people who I think bring out like the potential
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: of our best. And sometimes that best gets brought out
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: through really challenging dynamics that ask us to be leaders,
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: to lead ourselves. And sometimes it's through just like beautiful,
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: gentle encouragement. And sometimes we have partners who do things
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: that we think, gosh, I wish I was like that,
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: and we think that because you know we are, we
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: have that within us.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes we marry jerks. I don't know, but it
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: could go either way.
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: I love it well and I want to go to
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: something that's of trendy. Right now, we keep hearing I
• 15:03
  Speaker 5: want to be authentic. I want authenticity in my life.
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: I mean, listen, if I had a dollar for every
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: time I heard somebody say that, I'd be independently wealthy.
• 15:14
  Speaker 5: So I think what we're talking about here is truly
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: authentically finding our authentic selves. What is everybody else doing?
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: What are those things that we chase to find our authenticity?
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: Or do we misunderstand what authenticity is? Those are not
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: questions I specifically need answers. I'm kind of wondering on Kara,
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: what's your perspective on this? And then these wonderful tools
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: that you use and have developed, how can folks use
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: that to find their answer to their questions?
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So like when I first got on substack, there
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: was this woman who I don't.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Even know how she got on my feed. I wasn't
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: following her, but she's.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Like big on YouTube, like lots and lots of followers,
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: and she had like, no, there was no responses on
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: her substack. Not that that matters, right, It's all about
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: you know, reaching the right people, not how many.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I was so triggered.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: We're not triggered, but just like eye rolling, annoyed, judging.
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  Speaker 4: I was just so judging because she had some sort
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: of comment.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to get it right.
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: But the gist of it was it just made it
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: seem like you have to perform authenticity to get clients.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: It just felt like she was saying, like, all of
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: a sudden, we made authenticity a strategy or a tactic, okay,
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: And I really disliked that. I overtly disliked it because
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: to me, I mean, I guess, however, you get there,
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: if you can get there. But to me, just I
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: felt like it encouraged this performative authentic, like, oh, I'm
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: really being myself versus the full permission to really be yourself.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: I think where we.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: Fail with that is that many of us are just
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: so uncomfortable in our own skin.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: We're not even ourselves with ourselves.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: And often don't feel safe to be ourselves. One of
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: the things that I was sharing on LinkedIn this week
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: was as we have been going through this conversation Annette
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: and I, there has been a ton of personal discovery
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: that I have made. And one of the things that
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I posted about was this really goofy picture of my
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: daughter and I when she was ten. She's seventeen now,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: and I posted the one when she was ten because
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I have approval to post that one, but I could
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: have found one that we did last week.
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: The PR Department has approved that particular image, and it's
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: part of your intellectual property.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly. But the point is she
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: and I are just naturally silly together. So we have
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: lots of goofy pictures of the two of us, and
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: we have a normal mother daughter relationship. I annoy her, right,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: we fight, we have disagreements, we have moments where I'm
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: so embarrassing, mom, please stop doing that. And then there
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: are times when I do the oh my gosh, embarrassing
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: mom bit on purpose. And what I shared on LinkedIn
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: was this week, as we've been going through all of
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: these conversations and I've been listening to the recordings and
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: I get early previews of them, I looked at that
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: photo and what I realized was, this was not a
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: goofy picture. It is this is what safety looks like.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: This is my nervous system saying I can show up
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: one hundred percent as who I am. I do not
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: need to perform, I do not need to apologize, I
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: do not need to worry how this is going to
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: get replayed. That's safety, That is authenticity, and I don't
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: have a lot of placing. I don't have a lot
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: of places where I can That was the other revelation
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: was that there's because of the the next question around authenticity, right,
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: is it that I'm not being authentic in other places? No?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I just don't feel safe to be authentic in all places.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, and I think that there's like percent,
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: like you know, like there's also some wisdom.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. I think there's some wisdom.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: I'm like, we don't want to be not that we
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: want to be fake, right, but like there is some
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: wisdom about like time and place.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I think it's a matter.
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: Of like is it actually time and place or am
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: I making up something that tells me I can't be
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: myself here?
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: Right? And like that's just testing the edges.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: I think you kind of gotta you gotta stick a
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: stick a toe across the line and be like what
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: happens if right, I'm thinking of myself like, and I
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: know that you were going to ask a question, so
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: I'm jumping in over you, but like I think of
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: myself as like a suburban mom, right.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: So, like another piece of my history and talk about
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: was like I was a.
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: Priestess for many years in like the divine, feminine flowy dresses, candles,
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: sacred music artists.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 20:04
  Speaker 6: All that was like my absolute like identity.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: And then I live on a dead end.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: And at the end of the dead end is the
• 20:10
  Speaker 4: elementary school that my kids go to. So I'd be
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: like in my priestess Regellia, tear it all off, throwing
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: a tank top and like some you know, some leggings,
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: so I could look like everyone else and go pick
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: up my kids and go like stand and see, you know,
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: always this edge of like how how do.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: I be myself here?
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: And then one day I.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Was really late and I was wearing my like priestess
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: flowy dress and I just ran.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Down the street to get my kids. And you know
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: what happened.
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: Nothing, It didn't.
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna curse, it didn't fucking matter, right, Like I.
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: Made up that I can't be this version of myself there,
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: But I made that up.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: Who cares right, like be who you are?
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: Had I never done that, these two parts of my
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: lives would have been really separate.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: These two parts of my life my one life. I
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: only have one life.
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: Well, two parts of my life would have been separate,
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: and so I think that you know, whether it's because
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: you're running late or whatever, there is an element of
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: like supporting our nervous system when we don't feel safe.
• 21:16
  Speaker 4: I think you're right, and I think like, when we
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: don't feel safe, what do we do while we feel safe?
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: That's where we need to support. We neither tools that
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: we give ourselves. We great friends, who can you know
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: we can go arm in arm across that line, whether.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Or someone across the line and being like, come on
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: and you can do it, right, But safety is a
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: really big thing. It is a big thing.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: I am wondering from this conversation, Like what's coming up
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: is like, are we ever actually.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: Not authentic on the next essential level? Am I ever
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: really not myself? I don't know, just the thought I think.
• 21:54
  Speaker 5: There's all different kinds of versions of ourself, right, Like
• 21:58
  Speaker 5: maybe your high Priestess Regalia self right felt maybe you
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: felt some sort of way about it. Perhaps you thought, oh,
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: this is going to be too much for the other
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: soccer moms, or you don't want the teachers to see
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: you like that.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I could see.
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: Those thoughts, those stories playing in our minds. So were
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: you safe there? Like Sandra would probably ask you you
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: were ultimately found out you were safe there, but in
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: your mind you.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Didn't know, so you didn't test right.
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: And I think this is the limitations that a lot
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: of super high performing career women put on themselves.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: And it's that same story.
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: If I go into work as my full, authentic x
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: y Z self, whatever that x y Z is for
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: you or me or them, I won't be safe. I
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: won't be accepted, I won't be heard, I won't be
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: listened to. So we don't put our true self on display.
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: So maybe it's a little bit about shrinking, or we
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: don't volunteer in the meeting, we don't speak up, and
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: that is a preservation limitation I think that we put
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: on ourselves to truly find safety at this weird place
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: that we have to go through Monday through Friday for
• 23:17
  Speaker 5: nine hours.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: You know, I get it. I get it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: And then you did a little bit of testing, or
• 23:23
  Speaker 5: maybe the universe helped you test right. You're running late,
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: you just have to go how you're dressed out to
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: the end of the street, and you did it and
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: you figured out this is okay. And that's what happens
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: in our professional lives. We get to that point where
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: we're like, I have to do something different.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: Or maybe I just have to step out because I'm
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: running late And this is the real mean you have to.
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: Deal with it and this is what it is. I
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: mean a few things coming up I'm curious about. Like
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: one is, what are some of the qualities like and
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: pieces of I'm going to talk about women that you
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: see women holding themselves back. What is the part of
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: them says that they think that they're not safe to show.
• 24:02
  Speaker 6: Like is it the qualities that are more.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: Feminine, right, like the sensitivity, the listening, the gentleness, or
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: is it qualities that are actually the opposite, Like they're
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: holding back their loudness, their fullness. I'm curious if you've
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: seen trends or if it's across board.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: And I jump in here for a moment please, Okay.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I shared your success codex with Kara for your corrected
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: time of my time, and I just want to say
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: that one of a Net's feedbacks I'm going to out
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: her was she was too intuitive.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: It's all over your chart. Did you show her? Yes,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: it's all over your chart.
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: What So, Sandra and I have been going around and
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: around and around with my human design.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: I don't know how long, Sandra, maybe like three and
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: a half years now, and I'm like, yeah, sandraw pieces,
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: this piece is that?
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: And I could go into the story.
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: I think we talked about it in one of the
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: previous episodes, but my mom said I was born at
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: one time. My birth certificate says another time. My grandmother
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: kept this giant book of like family facts that says
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: a third time. I gave Sandra that time. And finally
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm home. That is it that feels like me,
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: that feels like my truth. And we just literally got
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: that information like maybe four weeks ago.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: That's amazing. I love that.
• 25:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And so the you are too intuitive was a
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: job that I was working in two thousand and nine.
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: So I don't even know many of those people still
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: in the ones I care about I'm in touch with,
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: and there are few, very few, and the love.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: And probably the ones you're still in touch with are like,
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: she's so intuitive, right, other ones.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm literally sitting in this meeting.
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: My direct manager had been promoted and I had applied
• 26:05
  Speaker 5: for that person's position, and we're sitting at the desk
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: and they have just told me that they've hired someone
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: else for the position that was not me, obviously, And
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: I was like, okay, so is there something that I
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: can do? Is there something I can work on? Are
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: there questions? I didn't answer right, asking a lot of questions.
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: I was much younger than I am now. I was
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: still thinking I could change something about myself to be
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: the right kind of whatever they needed right, And he
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: literally said to me, oh, well, we find that you're
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: too intuitive, and so literally it smacked me in the face.
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: And I didn't know why then. I clearly know why now.
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: And I was like, so are you saying that the
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: antecdotal stories that I tell you about literally a department
• 26:54
  Speaker 5: that runs on stories I was a customer service manager?
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: Or are those the problems that you want to talk about?
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: Like what data do I not supply about? I've literally
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: ran a gamble walk every week, Like you want data?
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: It's like on that bill honk and billboard across from
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: my dask And he didn't have a clear answer for me.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: And that's what I knew. I am in the wrong place. Yes,
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: clearly I am in the wrong place. And within three
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: weeks I was out.
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: I was somewhere else, and the best part of that
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: story on Kara Sandra, I don't even know if you
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: know this story is I'm trying to resign because I
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: was supposed to be training my new boss that was
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: replaced me. That was a total, total farce. And it
• 27:40
  Speaker 5: is literally the second Friday that that person should be
• 27:44
  Speaker 5: reporting to work. He had left early the first Friday,
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: and I knew that. Nobody else knew that, but I
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: knew that. And so this is the second Friday, it
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: is two pm. I'm trying to leave effective immediately. That's
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: what was written on my letter. And I cannot find
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: this person, and so I have to walk into the
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: HR person's office. I said, I'm trying to have an
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: important conversation with my boss. I've messaged, I've called. This
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: person is nowhere to be found. And she says, I'm
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: sorry to hear them. I'm like, well, here's my letter
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: of resignation. I'm leaving effective immediately. I'll stay through the
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: end of the day. I'll make sure the department is
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: shut down.
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: And literally, that is it, and that's it, and that's it.
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: And so she's not understanding, but trust me, she tried
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: to get a hold of him for the rest of
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: the day and had no success either. And then Monday morning,
• 28:34
  Speaker 5: and I'm going to out myself here a little bit, Sandra,
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: with my age. We were talking about outing ourselves with
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: the things we say about our age, and I don't care.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: But I get a.
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: Call on my answering machine, literally my answering machine tied
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: to my home landline, like this is so and so
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: this person had my cell phone number because they had
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: called me on it multiple times in their two weeks
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: of hire. I'm so sorry to hear what happened. You're
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: not You literally left a message and then one place
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: you knew you would not find me. I don't think
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: you're sorry. And that was just became a hugely defining
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: moment of who I was versus who people wanted me
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: to be, and that I was clearly in the wrong place.
• 29:19
  Speaker 5: And those are the problems that I think career professionals have.
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: Those are the problems that my coaching clients have because
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: there's a mismatch. I don't think it naturally is one
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: or the other. They're just in the wrong place for
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: who they are, and it comes out with a change
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: of leader or a change of home life where you know,
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: like maybe the kids are off at school or maybe
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: the kids are home from school, and there's this epiphany that,
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: like Sandra had with her daughter, I'm not living how
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: I want to be that role model, or I don't
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: have to be that role model anymore, and I can
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: do what I need to do. So there's usual a
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: change that happens somewhere in their life. I won't call
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: it a mid life crisis because it happens at any time,
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: and where they are in the moment becomes this moment
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: of I am not where I need to be.
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I just feel like more and more that's
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: going to happen because I feel like where we've been
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: collectively has been cookie cutter fitting in, and where we're
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: going is individuation. It's people being themselves, working towards a
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: common working in an organization with a common goal. But
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: not as a nameless personality liss passionless, authenticless, not that
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: that's a word, you know, covered filtered human as a fully.
• 30:47
  Speaker 6: Expressed person bringing our own.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: Genius, bringing our own gifts, bringing our intuition, bringing our practicality,
• 30:53
  Speaker 4: whatever we bring. But that's actually what makes an organization
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: rich that's what makes the world rich. So I think,
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: I mean, I think that's like part of the gift
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: of is it. It's not the millennials gen zen z
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: that like goes into work and they're just like, I'm
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: not going to come into work every day, kidding me,
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: And it's just like, yeah, we don't, you know, as
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: older ladies are like, yeah, we're not going to go
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: to work every day either.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: No, but like there's a there's a freedom.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: There's a freedom that this younger entitled.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: Right, we can call it entitled. But I think it's
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: freaking great. I think it's great.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: It's all part of the process of the collective changing.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: We need pushback, we need the systems to crumble, but
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: we need people who have strength of self, groundedness of self,
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: so that the whole ground doesn't leave underneath our feet.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: Right when the whole world and all the systems are changing,
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: and the structures are changing and the rules are changing,
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: the only thing we can actually count on is our
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: And I don't mean we can't count on each other.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: I'm not talking about it in terms of that. I'm
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: saying that is the ground beneath our feet, you know.
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: For me, the success Codex has been that. And the
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: irony is it became that after I made it, the
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: system came through, I had no idea and I mean it,
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: I really had no idea that it would impact people
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: the way it did. I had no idea it would
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: impact me the way it did. I had no idea
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: if it worked, if it made any sense. I mean,
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: I did a lot of testing, but this is now,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: it's been years now. I had years of feedback and
• 32:33
  Speaker 4: having people come and say it just gave me permission,
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: the permission I was for whatever reason, I just struggled
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: to give myself permission to be myself and looking at
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: that and seeing who I am and as gifts and
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: not problems that all of a sudden I started to say,
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: this is a gift. I am going to lean into it,
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: and I do feel safe enough within myself to try, right.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I mean that's my vision, is a world
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: where people just trust themselves. I always say, like, like,
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: my real mission is just to help humans enjoy being
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: human a little bit more like it's it's so basic,
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: But I don't know how we can do that if
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: we're living other people's stories and living and conditioning and
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: you know, chasing other people's dreams.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: One of the AHAs that I had this week was
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: related to the way I process new learnings. So by
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: the end of last week I had approached kind of
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: like an AHA moment related to something I had been
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: processing for a while. And then I thought I was settled.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: And then Monday I was like back at it again,
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: asking more questions, looking.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: At well, what if we look at it this way?
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: What if we look at it that way? And Shannon
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: who you know, and Kara well sometimes tease me like
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: why are you doing this again? I thought we had
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: put this to bed, and what did I look at?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Monday afternoon I pulled out my success codex and my Pluto,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: which is rebirth transfer part transformation. My Pluto is sixty four,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: which is processing. It's continuing to refine and clarify and
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: clarify and why and why and why. And I can't
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: tell you how many times I have been told to
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: stop asking you so many questions.
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: It just is why.
• 34:38
  Speaker 6: I don't understand.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Why just accept it?
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: What can't you understand? It's who I am.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm going to take in a weird direction, but
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: it feels parallel to me.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: So I'm going to go with it, right.
• 34:49
  Speaker 6: So one of my other nerdy obsessions is.
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: Perimenopause because I'm going through it, so I be.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: So I became I We're obsessed. Okay, oh okay, So
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I mean company.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: I just got certified as a menopause doula and I've
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: started to run these like workshops because I was like,
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: I just want to bring this to like local women.
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: So I one thing I learned about our brains pre
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: are reproductive years and post our reproductive years is that
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: when we are estrogen dominant, which is our entire reproductive years,
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: our brains orient towards others, right, So we filter.
• 35:23
  Speaker 6: Our decisions through how they impact other people.
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: How are other people going to take it?
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: And I have so many friends who have sat there
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: and beaten themselves up for being people pleasers, and then
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: they hit perimenopause, and then they beat themselves up even
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: more for being people pleasers.
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, you were brain was literally wired to
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: be a people pleaser. Our species would not have survived
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: had you not been able to attune to the needs
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: of others. Did we take it too far to patriol
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: archical world?
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: Yet? Probably?
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: The point is we don't beat ourselves up for our nature.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: There's a reason for it.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: There's a gift in that, right, Soandra, you asking why
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: and asking why there's a gift in that. Now if
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: it teeters over into now this is getting in my way.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: I'm asking why instead of remembering and realizing that I
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: actually already.
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: Do know a lot. Then then you know, we want
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: to pull it back.
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: We want to pull back the reins a little bit.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: But in general, our nature is our nature.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: I recently calculated how common it is for people to
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: have the same exact success codex and I can't say
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: the number. I can't speak the number because it's too big.
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: It's three hundred and eighty four to the twelfth power
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: type that in your calculator, and you won't even get
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: an answer because it's too big. We are so unique.
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: Why are we trying to be like other people? Like
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: way smaller chance than the number of humans there are
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: on the planet. Because it's not just the birth in time,
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: it's the exact location and minutes change it too, right,
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: So it is.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: So rare, it's so so rare.
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: Why are we trying to be like someone else that
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: we just lean into this is mine. Thank you, God, Goddess, universe,
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: whatever you believe in. Mama, thanks Mom and dad.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Right, Well, and I have twins. They're born, they're born
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: one minute apart. We're of location right birthday time, and
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: they are pretty much identical. They're astrologically, there's only you know,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: a couple of minutes or of degree for a couple
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: of signs, but really for the for the for the
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: big stuff same and they could not be two different
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: people in the whole world.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: In fact, my husband will often say, how can they
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: be so different? When they were like, they're there, And
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: I'm like, because they're two individuals. And so I've spent
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: a lot of time trying to figure out how can
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: they have the very same astrological information, the same natal chart.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this in this series around story.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: That is a story that we carry, right, that they
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: have to be similar, they have to be the same,
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: or they're And one of the data points that I
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: read and I don't remember where I read it, so
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: I can't credit the person who said it, But it's
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: like cake. All cakes have flour, they all have baking soda,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: they all have you put them in a pan They
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: all mostly have some kind of a mulsifier, whether it's
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: eggs or apple sauce or flaxeed. The whole point is
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: you use the same ingredients, but you come out with
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: a very different product. Yeah, and so even for people
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: who have a very similar codex, they're still very different.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: And then you add in life experience on top of that.
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: I love this.
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: I have twin cousins and it's the same. The only thing, like,
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: I think their flow changes, their impression changes, and maybe
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: their leadership changes a little great because these are things
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: that change minute by minute in astrology. And this is
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: exactly why you will hear me say.
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: All the time.
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: And some people say, are you undermining the own the system.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: That you created? But I'm not.
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: We are more than any system. This is why you
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: can't go to an astrologer or a human design reader
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: or a success CODEC specialist and say what should I
• 39:42
  Speaker 4: do with my life? And you can't think who's my
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: ideal client? Because who we are, what we do, our mission,
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: our way of understanding the world, are we of being
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: in the world. It's there's no map that can show
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: us those pieces. We could understand propensity that we have,
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: but it's the same way like your two kids, right,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: one could be a plumber, one could be the president.
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: They're still bringing themselves through the work that they do.
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: And I also think, I mean, maybe it's different with
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: are they're not identical?
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Are they?
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: They're not identical?
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: So, Like I don't know how it works with identical twins,
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: but certainly, like you know, my my twin cousins, if
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: one totally takes after her mom, the other totally takes
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: after her dad, right, So I think other pieces of
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: lineage are coming through each one, right, potentially, like different
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: themes and personality types. So I just you know, again,
• 40:40
  Speaker 4: like we can't make something outside of ourselves our authority, no,
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: because if we do, we're letting it tell us the
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: stories the shape who we are and how we know ourselves.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: And I love that because that's exactly where we've landed
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: in this whole conversation around story is what are you
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: making the story mean? Ye, it's not so much that
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: there is a story, it's the meaning that you're attaching
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: to the story. And that is i'll say my favorite
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: acronym o PC other people's crape, right yep. And I
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: think the other point that you're getting to is a
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: question that Annette has asked me that I haven't yet
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: come back to answer her on, and that is what
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: is the role of free will in all of this?
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: If we're looking at somebody's natal chart and we're saying
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: this is what was true, and there's so much resonance
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: right and congruence with kind of how what our story is,
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: then what's the point of free will? I'll let you
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: answer it, because I have not responded to Annette yet.
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean this is just speaking off the cuff.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think free will is the whole point.
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: I think you know, we're given it's we're given the ingredients.
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: What kind of cakes do you want to make? I
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: think that that's the whole idea.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: And like, by the.
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: Way, I there are all kinds of like I mean
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: not to go like into the weeds of astrology, but
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: every year on your birthday, you have a solar return chart.
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: You have a new chart that you can be looking
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: at and operating through. Right, we go through these big
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: lifetime changes. You're in this opposition Saturn return that like
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: and Pluto return.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: Right like, where we have these big rebirths. We could
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: do a chart on that. Now, that's who I am. Right.
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: Every single day, every single planet that's in the sky
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: and the sun light up different things for the collective,
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: and that impacts.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: Our personal chart. Every man in our chart is different.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: So I always say, you know, like for people who have.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Like your story of like I had a different birth.
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: Time, whatever time you had did whatever it did, like
• 42:54
  Speaker 4: it served whatever purpose it was right, even if the
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: purpose was that's not quite right.
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: That told you something about yourself.
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: It's why when someone looks at their their success codecs
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: and they say, I don't know if I like that word.
• 43:05
  Speaker 4: I don't think I would describe myself with that word.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: I'd say, fantastic. What word would you describe yourself with?
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: Because the purpose is not for you to believe in
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: the dogma of the chart. The purpose is for you
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: to know yourself right. So it all comes back to
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: that we have these ingredients that we get to work
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: with if we choose.
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: Hey, guess what.
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: People have been wildly successful and horrible failures since all
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: of time until the success codex was created. We can
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: survive without it. I know that maybe I'm shooting off
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: my own foot, it's my own system, but I just
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: want to be honest about it. That's why I call
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: I can say, and I know, and I love human
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: design too. I have used it incorrectly, and I've seen hundreds,
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know thousands of people use it incorrectly, use
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: it as a new set of rules that now I'm
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: stuck operating in. Oh, I'm a I can't do it.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: I have to wait right, Oh, I have to listen
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: to my sacred All.
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: These have tos. That's not what the system was made for. Right,
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: So I can say, truly, at least if you're using
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: the system the way that I've been training people to
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: use it, right, if you go to a certified, trained,
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: vetted success CODEC specialist, you're going to have someone who's
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: genuinely empowering you and not encouraging you to create a
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: new set of rules out of this. It's not again,
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: it's like it's a springboard. Our free will can dance
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: free because we've got this beautiful springboard for it to
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: like jump leap off of.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: One of the things that we did talk about. Often
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try not to editorialize here. Often we
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: will approach somebody with a problem and they will say,
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: you need to do X or you need to be
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: more of this. And one of the stories that we
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: talked about was we tend to say women are or
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: little girls can be bossy, right, And so Anett was saying,
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I've embraced that. So Sandra, if you came to me
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: with this problem, I would tell you to put your
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: bossy pants on and get back in there and fix
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: that problem. And I said, well, and that's part of
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: the problem because for me, I never incorporated the it's
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: a good thing to have bossy pants. For me, being
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: told that I had bossy pants was really a triggering thing.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: And so if a net were to tell me go
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: put your bossy pants on and go back in there
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: and do and do this, I would be engaging in
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: energy that is not in alignment and would not serve me.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: And I think that's part of the challenge that you
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: speak to when you say when we look for external validation, Yeah, and.
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: It's part of our changing role as mentors and guides
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: and coaches and leaders is.
• 46:07
  Speaker 7: To be aware that what works for us might not
• 46:11
  Speaker 7: work for others, right, And that's just a learning process,
• 46:15
  Speaker 7: and that there's a lot of unlearning with that because
• 46:19
  Speaker 7: all of us have been taught to do everything pretty
• 46:21
  Speaker 7: much the same way.
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: Here's the trajectory, here are the steps. Follow my six
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: easy steps to make a million dollars. Right, we've been
• 46:29
  Speaker 4: told how to do things the same way. Very few
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: of us have been taught the skills of helping people
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: to extrapolate their own self awareness and knowledge.
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: I mean, in a real coaching program, you're not advising,
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: you're asking questions that can help people. And same thing
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: with therapy, right in the purest sense. I mean sometimes
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: we go to someone for advice. But to me, in
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: a so I have a big thing about consent. And
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: you've heard me talk about this a lot, right, So
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: I'm very intuitive. But if I have a session with someone,
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: before I share the intuition I have, I ask for consent.
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: I have a lot of opinions and thoughts. I've tried
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: a lot of things. I've learned a lot of things
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: the hard way. I know a lot of shortcuts. But
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: before I.
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: Tell someone, I'm going to ask them consent.
• 47:21
  Speaker 4: And to me, that's enough where you still get to
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: have your opinions and you still get to be your
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: own bossy pants, right like you still get to wear
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: your own bossy pants, without making yourself someone else's authority. Now,
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: if the person coming to you is really in their sovereignty,
• 47:36
  Speaker 4: they're really in their personal power, then they can take
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: your direction, your advice, solicited or unsolicited consent or without consent,
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: and they can take it as information that they can
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: then be discerning with.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: But when we have.
• 47:50
  Speaker 4: Clients, right, and this is up to us as the
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: leaders to know, are my clients or my you know,
• 47:54
  Speaker 4: my team if we're talking an organization, is this someone
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: who can take when I'm saying and use discernment with it?
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: Or am I.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: Encouraging them to just do what I say? You're done
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: with do what I say?
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: Leading? I just think we're done with it.
• 48:08
  Speaker 4: I mean, not that it's this tricky edge, because you'd
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: be really correct. Your opinions and what you think someone
• 48:17
  Speaker 4: should do can be absolutely correct.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: But are they safe? Do they feel safe enough.
• 48:22
  Speaker 7: To do it?
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: Are they ready to do it?
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: I don't know, right, So I think that you know,
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: this whole conversation has been really really beautiful and such
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: a great reminder for me, right just to be talking
• 48:32
  Speaker 4: about this the again. I'll call it like a sacred
• 48:35
  Speaker 4: responsibility that we.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: Have to be aware of the impact that we make.
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: Not hold ourselves right.
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: This is not an invitations like, oh I'm bossy, I
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: better not be my authentic self because someone could just
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: ask for consent just in the beginning of the relationship,
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: say hey, I like to give a lot. I have
• 48:52
  Speaker 4: a lot of opinions, and I might give advice and
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: you don't have to take it. If I give you
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: advice and you don't like it, let's talk about that
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: mission to push back, right Like, that's the kind of
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: stuff that we can do that can make it safe
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: for people and actually help them to build the muscle
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: of being discerning in the face of authority, right which
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: a lot of us it's kind of scary.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, thank you for this conversation.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: It's good.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Yes, thank you so much.
• 49:19
  Speaker 5: So how can our listeners get a hold of you
• 49:22
  Speaker 5: on car if they'd like to connect with you further?
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, Well, first of all, if you don't know your
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: birth time at all, reach out to me because I
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: have little tricks to kind of help you if we
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: have like a window. But if you know your birth time,
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: date and location, I just tell everyone go to free
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: successcodex dot com. So fr ee Success and then codex
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: is cood x dot com. Type in your birth info
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: and make sure to click the red button and download
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: the PDF, and you're going to get your own success codex.
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: Like that's number one.
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: You'll be added to my mailing list from there.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: I'm not a big newsletter person.
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: Most of where I'm hanging out now is on substack,
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: So if you just look up the success codex on substack,
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: you're going to find me as well. I'll share that Lincoln,
• 50:02
  Speaker 4: remember what it is off the top of my head,
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: but those are the best places to go to kind
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: of start to get a feel here. Conversations like this
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: every Friday. I didn't do it today because get a cancelation,
• 50:14
  Speaker 4: but most Fridays I do a live success codex reading
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: on substacks so you can actually see what does it
• 50:20
  Speaker 4: look like when someone's bringing the real life challenges and
• 50:23
  Speaker 4: how we can work through those with the success codecs.
• 50:27
  Speaker 5: If you two are at the point where you are
• 50:30
  Speaker 5: interested in learning more about your authentic self and have
• 50:33
  Speaker 5: a tool to help you do that, then please go
• 50:36
  Speaker 5: ahead and join our newsletter at Exposing the Hiddenreality dot com,
• 50:40
  Speaker 5: where Sandra and I talk about all kinds of good
• 50:42
  Speaker 5: interesting things,