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Youth Pastors: Get on the RIGHT TRACK for the New Year! · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Today we're gonna talk about how to get you and your youth ministry on the right track for the new year.
0:17
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we bring you weekly tips and tactics to help you fast track the growth and health of your youth ministry.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: My name is Jeff Lascola, and this is Kristen Lascola.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: And we are soon wrapping up this year, 2025.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of you are probably looking toward the future 2026.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to talk about how to get your youth ministry on the right track for the new year.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: And it's inevitable.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: We always think of goals.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: We always think, you know, people have a bad connotation with resolutions.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't make resolutions.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: But we, whether it's the new year or not, we should always be goal-oriented people.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: I think that's a measure of stewardship that we're not just fine with the status quo, but we're constantly looking ahead to what is next?
1:07
SPEAKER_00: How can I be a good steward, a good manager of myself, my resources, my ministry, my church?
1:14
SPEAKER_00: And I would just say that's biblical to not stay stagnant, but be in the process of multiplication.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: In our YMGA call or cohort call yesterday, we were talking about that parable of the talents and this idea of multiplying and stewarding what God has given us really well.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: And I think that this is a great time of year to look at that because your mind might already be going toward what did we do last year that I want to do differently this year?
1:46
SPEAKER_00: And I use the term this year loosely because in youth ministry, it really isn't a new year.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, our new year started back in the fall.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: But however, it still feels like a fresh start in some aspects because you might be writing, you know, a calendar, a 12-year calendar.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: You might be looking year calendar.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: That's a long time.
2:07
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be here for a long time.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: 12-month calendar, like plugging in things like sermon series and games and events and camps, retreats, service projects, all of the above.
2:18
SPEAKER_00: And it's a good time to sort of evaluate what we're doing.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: So here's a question that I want to talk about today, more so than what do I want to do differently in 2026?
2:31
SPEAKER_00: What do I want to do?
2:33
SPEAKER_00: The question I think I want to focus on today is a little more who do I want to be?
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Because I think that's a more foundational question.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: And that produces the results of what we do.
2:47
SPEAKER_00: But what we do isn't even close in importance to who we are.
2:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, and as in Enneagram three, that's a huge struggle because we tend to see, and if you're a fellow three, you know this, we tend to see what we do as who we are.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, like there is no difference.
3:09
SPEAKER_00: It's like a human, they always say, try to be a human being instead of a human doing, you know, as a three.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, I I get that.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: And so if we take a step back from what do we produce, the the first question is, who are we?
3:26
SPEAKER_00: Are we the kind of person who produces good results for the long haul?
3:31
SPEAKER_00: And how does that become sustainable?
3:34
SPEAKER_00: Because it's who we are, not just something we can performatively do, if that makes sense.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: So chances are, if you are like 99% of youth leaders out there, who you want to be is an excellent, healthy leader with a thriving ministry, preaching the gospel to all of creation, making disciples of all of the nations, and have a thriving, robust personal life to boot, to go along with it.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: Some variation of that tends to be where most of our goals land.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: It's like, I want to be doing very well professionally and further the kingdom.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: I want to be excellent, and I want to have an excellent personal life.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, don't we all?
4:19
SPEAKER_00: Right.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: So the goal is always noble, but what it comes down to is this is what James Clear uh he's the author of Atomic Habits.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: Very good, Jeff.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Haven't read it.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: Gold Star.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: Um, I I've read portions of it.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: He says, you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.
4:44
SPEAKER_00: Yes, the level or level of your systems.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't quite sure on that word, but it was definitely level.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, level is a hard word.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: I can see why that tripped you up a little bit.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: You say level, I say lavel, level, lavel, level, lavel.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, tail as old as time.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Words are hard.
5:04
SPEAKER_00: Words are, but you're doing great, and I'm proud of you.
5:06
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
5:06
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: For the new year, I want to get better at words.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: That's a worthy goal.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: But you can't do that unless you have a system.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: Okay, Joe.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: So the issue is usually like James Clear is saying, not the goals, but the systems.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: So think of the goal.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: I always like picture it kind of like one of those emotion balls or memory balls, I guess, from inside out, and they put it like on the track.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: And then that and it takes the ball and then it like inputs it and it becomes like the emotion or the memory, or it goes to where it needs to go to produce something, right?
5:42
SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of how a goal is.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: A goal is this like beautiful glowing glass.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: I love the way the glass, when they hit those like memory balls, hit each other in the movie.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: I love the way that sounds.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: It's so satisfying.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: But that's your goal.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: It's like this beautiful glowing glass ball.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, you could put it on the shelf.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: Remember, they had all those ones that were just stored away and that were kind of like disintegrating because they didn't need those memories anymore.
6:14
SPEAKER_00: Or you can put it on the track and it kind of like where does it go to fulfill its purpose?
6:20
SPEAKER_00: So a goal just in and of itself can be beautiful.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: It could, it's an idea.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: It feels motivating, you know, but unless it gets put on a track and the track is a system, then it really doesn't amount to anything or do or fulfill its purpose, obviously, right?
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of times you can look at your ministry or yourself or your team and you're like, oh, if we just had better people, or if I was just better.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: And it really, you know, according to James Claire, it's not really that you need better people, it's that you need better systems.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: It's not that you need to be better, it's that you need to be put in a system that is results driven.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: And that goes for our ministry as well.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: But today we're going to focus a little bit more on just who we want to be rather, and then we'll talk a little bit at the end about, you know, uh results for our ministry as well.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: Craig Rochelle, I would highly recommend if you're looking at a 2026 reading list.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: He wrote a book called Lead Like It Matters, and it's phenomenal.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: And he has a whole chapter on systems toward the end.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: And he says this systems create behaviors, behaviors become habits, habits drive outcomes.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: So if you want better outcomes, create better systems.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: Good news.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: Small changes in systems can create big changes in your outcomes.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: And so the strong he he goes on to say, strong systems make good people look great, and weak systems make good people look bad.
7:55
SPEAKER_00: So instead of pointing the finger at people, including yourself, it's like, well, let's bypass that and start to look at the system I'm in.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Is it helping me thrive?
8:08
SPEAKER_00: Is it helping me accomplish the goals I'm setting out to accomplish?
8:11
SPEAKER_00: So the first goal or the first step, I should say, is evaluating the systems.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: So that's what we've been talking all about.
8:19
SPEAKER_00: Systems, systems, systems.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: Do we have any?
8:21
SPEAKER_00: Craig Grossot would say you do.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: Whether you realize it or not, you will either have like a system that's just a default, or it will be something intentional.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: He said, if your system is drive to the church, turn on the lights, answer email, go home, that was a system.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: And it just maybe's not a very good one, but that's your MO.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: That's how you do things.
8:46
SPEAKER_00: So I think this is a great time of year to be looking at all those aspects of our life of who do I want to be?
8:53
SPEAKER_00: And in am I setting up a system in my personal life for these types of areas?
8:59
SPEAKER_00: Our physical health.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: I think pastors tend to very much neglect this area of their life.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: But we know that our physical, mental, emotional, all of those, like one cannot really be separated from the other.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Like we are a holistic being.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: And so stewarding our physical health to have energy for a ministry, to show up at our best for ministry, to think well in ministry, um, continue to stay sharp and all of that.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: We are the only ones who can steward that.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: And I think we all say, Oh, I want to get healthy.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: I want to be healthy, but what is the system?
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Well, the system could look something like this Sunday evening, I meal prep, not maybe for the whole week, because that's a lot, right?
9:53
SPEAKER_00: But maybe Sunday evening, I meal prep enough to be able to pack a healthy lunch for myself Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: I schedule my workout days.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna do cardio strength training like every other.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: Then this is my rest day.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: And then I'm going to pre-make, you know, some easy dinners so that I'm not tempted to do takeout every single night or something like that.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: That might not fit your goal, but it's just an example of okay, Sunday from five to seven is my meal prep time, or seven to nine, or whatever it might be.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: Because what I've noticed the habit a lot of pastors fall into is they get so busy and then they just go rummaging around like the church and find a leftover donut, or you know, and it's like you're not doing yourself, your family, or your ministry any favors by neglecting your physical health because it will eventually catch up with you and then you're not useful.
10:59
SPEAKER_00: Now, is some physical health outside of our control?
11:02
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: You know, things happen all the time that are nobody's fault.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: But I always think of it as as far as it depends on me, I would like to steward my health well.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: And then come what may, like, you know, you're in life, a lot of times all you're doing is spinning the wheel of like, well, I got in a car accident or my house had my house had mold, or like there's just things you can't prevent.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: But what you what is within your control, that is what you have stewardship over.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: And so I what is the system in place for you to do that?
11:40
SPEAKER_00: And knowing that when you take that half hour to go for a walk, when you take that 45 minutes to lift weights, you are investing not only in your future self, but the future self of your ministry as well, to be here, to be present, to be healthy, to be around, to be not at doctor's appointments, but being able to be there for other people.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Again, with the caveat, things happen that are not your fault.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: We get that.
12:10
SPEAKER_00: And then the spiritual health aspect as well.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, what is the system you have in place for your own spiritual health?
12:18
SPEAKER_00: Where does that come from?
12:19
SPEAKER_00: I usually don't get to attend church.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you don't either.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: So is spiritual health more than attending church?
12:26
SPEAKER_00: Obviously.
12:27
SPEAKER_00: So that quiet time in the morning, those prayer walks, though that worship, those conversations with friends opening up about, you know, prayer requests and what how you guys can be there for each other.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: That those things don't just happen.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: They have to be scheduled until it becomes a habit.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: Um Yeah, that's actually a good point.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: How do you what is the best best method?
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Dang it, 2026 can't come see.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: What has been your best method for taking an action and bringing it into a habit?
13:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:03
SPEAKER_01: Because I find, and I'm sure a lot of people would agree with this, that like if it was that health goal or whatever, it's like those first few weeks, you're really on track, and then life kind of comes at you, and then you miss a few days, then all of a sudden something else comes at you, and miss a few weeks, and then something else comes at you, and you're back to where you started.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: So, what is the driving force?
13:21
SPEAKER_01: And maybe this is taking this in a totally different direction, but that you found successful in making this idea and becoming a habit.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: I think I always am thinking about my why and my future.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: So, my why for like we went on vacation, and that would have been very easy to fall off the bandwagon for health.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: I brought my resistance bands because they weigh almost nothing.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: I put them in my suitcase.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: And when there was like a free half hour, I did some upper body strength kind of stuff because I think this is an investment in the future.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: Me, I want to be strong and I want to be capable and I don't want to ever have to make up a ton of ground.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
14:07
SPEAKER_00: Like, because that's when I'll lose my motivation of like, oh my gosh, I have so far to go.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, but I'm like, if I can just maintain, you know, the health that I have and give myself 30 minutes instead of scrolling on a phone or watching another show or something like that.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: I my why supersedes that of like in three weeks from now, will I care if I watched another episode or will I care if I have a ton of ground to make up in muscle mass or flexibility or endurance or health or whatever?
14:43
SPEAKER_01: And so I always And I found watch that episode while you're working out.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah two birds, one stone, mark it down, dude.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's actually a method of motivation, is where you pair a great gripping show or movie or whatever to working out.
14:59
SPEAKER_01: It makes me want to do it.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: Is that not what you're gonna say?
15:02
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of it's any task.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: So any task you don't love, you pair it with something that is reward.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: So, like I hate folding laundry, but I put my laptop on the bed while I fold it and I watch a show that I enjoy.
15:18
SPEAKER_01: Or I used to buy myself a pair of shoes ever after I'd go to the dentist.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: I remember that two times a year.
15:23
SPEAKER_00: I was a lot of shoes.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: But that's great.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: Like whatever it's like a motivator, yeah, or watching a great show while you work out.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you're at the gym, that's harder, but I work out at home.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, like pairing reward with hard work too.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Unless your reward is I worked out, now I get to have a recess.
15:46
SPEAKER_00: It's like we wow, wow.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, maybe you can because you burned all the calories, you just put them back.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: Eat while you work out.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: I've seen videos of that's pretty funny.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, making those what was your question of like how does it become a habit?
16:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: And then eventually it's that time slot that you remember and you kind of fall into gear.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Like for me, in the morning, I have a routine to start taking care of this night's sleep before I even like I've just woken up.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, I make sure I always go and drink my matcha outside in the yard, getting the sunlight in my eyes because I realize that really helps me sleep at night if I get outdoors early in the morning because it sets my circadian rhythm.
16:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a great sleeper, so I have to do a lot to ensure that I can sleep.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: And if I don't, then I fall apart and everything falls apart.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: So I discipline myself.
16:47
SPEAKER_00: Oh, matcha time after the kids are gone at school from 7:50 to 8 o'clock, I stand in the yard with the sunlight in my eyes, finish my matcha, and then get ready for the day.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: It's just become, I don't even have to think about it anymore.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Let the dogs out, go out because I realize the result I want later on is good sleep in the evening.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: If I stay indoors all day, I don't get good sleep.
17:12
SPEAKER_00: So it's like becomes like just almost these little alarm bells in your mind go off, or like right when you wake up in the morning.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Maybe your thought is, oh, do I jump on the elliptical or do I go for a walk?
17:27
SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, this is workout time.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: It's just what are you going to do?
17:31
SPEAKER_00: And so in the beginning, it really will come down to probably a pretty tedious tight schedule of like, okay, this is the half hour where I clean the house every day.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: This is the 45 minutes I go for a walk every day.
17:47
SPEAKER_00: And maybe it's not every single day, but you vary it like Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Tuesday, Thursday.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes daily things can become like daunting as well.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: And you need kind of to change it up, but it might need to be plugged into your calendar, and then it becomes just routine.
18:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for example.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: What gets scheduled gets done.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
18:08
SPEAKER_00: And then it kind of becomes like you didn't even think about it anymore.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like an option, it just happened.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: It's kind of incredible.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: All the things that become habits, good or bad, just naturally.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: Like you don't think like, I'm just gonna go to bed.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm well, maybe some people think this, I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm not gonna brush my teeth.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: Like it's like, well, that's just a habit.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: I just do that.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:27
SPEAKER_01: But these things that's like they take time and they add up throughout your day that you always make time for.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: Good or bad.
18:33
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: It's just that you want to have more of obviously the good than the bad that become the habits.
18:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
18:39
SPEAKER_00: And how do you need to move your time to make that happen?
18:43
SPEAKER_00: Because I think the first thing on people's mind is like, I don't have time.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, I don't have time not to.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: Like, I will like prioritize my health over everything, not like, oh, well, I'm not going to work today.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: But it's like I always will find a moment for it because if I don't, then other things will fill that.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: And then I never will get it done.
19:11
SPEAKER_00: I'll just allow things to creep in over and over and over again.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, this has to get done.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: This is non-negotiable to eat healthy, to have some exercise, to have daylight.
19:23
SPEAKER_00: And then even moving to things like, you know, a lot of pastors neglect their social life.
19:29
SPEAKER_00: So where are you filling that in?
19:31
SPEAKER_00: Like I notice if I go too long without hanging out with my friends, I my personality changes a little bit for the worse.
19:40
SPEAKER_00: Like I am more irritable.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: I kind of forget, you know, the parts of myself I like.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: And so I've been trying to, okay, Friday morning.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: That's a technically a day off for me.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: So can I go on a walk with a friend?
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Can I meet a friend for coffee?
19:57
SPEAKER_00: Can I go to lunch with a friend?
19:59
SPEAKER_00: You know, and I try.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: To schedule that at the beginning of my week.
20:02
SPEAKER_00: And then it gives me something to look forward to as well.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: Instead of just sitting around waiting for someone to text me, oh, I haven't seen my friends in forever.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, you grab the ball and make it happen.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: You have an open 9 to 11 on a Friday morning.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: Could you get a coffee?
20:18
SPEAKER_00: Because again, these are the things that feed back into us to keep us moving forward.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes if you're a high achiever, you look at this as a waste of time or taking steps back when you could be doing or accomplishing, and you don't realize, well, you are doing and accomplishing because you're caring for yourself, and yourself has a long distance to go.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: And you have to treat yourself like a human as well, right?
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Little things to look forward to is really underrated.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: I feel like in life.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it doesn't even have to be a major thing, but just little things that's like, oh, tomorrow I get to, you know, whatever that is.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: It's kind of incredible.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: And like one a day, like Jeff is so sweet and makes me a matcha latte every single morning.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: And if it's not ready when I wake up, I'm not mad.
21:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm not mad.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: I want you to know that.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm disappointed.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: And so I'll kind of look at him because when I wake up, that's what I have a whole day ahead of me.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna make itself of all kinds of things.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: But the matcha, I look forward to it.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: It's like the bright spot of my morning.
21:30
SPEAKER_01: Like I love not me, not your children, the matcha.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: Those things are givens.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying that I that's like a bright spot for me in the day.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Or yes, once a week seeing a friend or going on a bike ride doing something I really love.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: And then maybe once a month, that's when all my friends come together and we plan a friend dinner.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: Last night we went to dinner at a friend's house.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Andy.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: It was very fun.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: And it's like that what I had been looking forward to that all week.
22:03
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's just something that is gonna break the routine that you can look forward to.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing: you have to schedule it.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that is where the system comes in.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about system, system, system.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: It's sitting down with your calendar at the beginning of every week and every month.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: And like, where is this stuff?
22:24
SPEAKER_00: Where is my workout?
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Where is my meal prep?
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Where are my friends?
22:28
SPEAKER_00: Where are my group of friends?
22:30
SPEAKER_00: Where is my family?
22:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, we try to keep Sunday as like after church, like, let's do something fun all together as a family.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: We did this thing once or twice.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: We need to do it more.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: It was really fun.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: Last goal of family fun night.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: And there's four people in our family, us two kids, and everyone got 30 minutes to well, first we went to the store and everyone got to choose any treat they wanted, any snack, treat, whatever, one thing.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: And then we went home, and then everyone got 30 minutes to pick what they wanted to do, and everyone had to do it with them with no complaining.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: Because it's we have a therein lies the difficult part.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, because on a normal basis, like we have a 12-year-old and a seven-year-old, and they have very different interests.
23:16
SPEAKER_00: And so the what the seven-year-old wants to do, the 12-year-old doesn't want to do.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: So it's so hard to find something we all enjoy.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: But when we put those boundaries and parameters on, well, this is like you have to do it, no complaining.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: Everyone just got into it.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: Like the seven-year-old wanted to play charades on the trampoline.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to take the dogs for a walk.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: The older one wanted to play video games altogether, and I forget what you want to do.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I got 30 minutes, but that's okay.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: I was making matches.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: Poor Jeff.
23:47
SPEAKER_00: We did something, I just can't remember.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember either.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: I don't think we did.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, looks like we ran out of time, you guys.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Better luck next time.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: The story of the dead.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: But you enjoyed all the things.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: This took a sad turn.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: So that was like our family.
24:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay, what are we doing Sunday?
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, like that's kind of like a standing appointment, unless we, you know, sometimes an event or whatever comes up, but that's usually a standing.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: We know we're gonna do something as a family Sunday night.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: Does it happen every single week?
24:29
SPEAKER_00: No, because who knows?
24:30
SPEAKER_00: There could be an event or a dinner, whatever for work.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: But so, anyways, that's that's that.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: And then, like looking at your mental and emotional health as well.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: That's another area that pastors tend to neglect until it's too late.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, we always enact this stuff when we're in a crisis, but what if we just maintained the health and then we got to run a very healthy long race?
24:56
SPEAKER_00: And we didn't have to take a five-year sabbatical because we had a mental breakdown.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: No shame if we had to, but I'm saying, like, there's also preventative medicine, right?
25:08
SPEAKER_00: And so meeting with a therapist, why not?
25:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, is there anything like absolutely broken and wrong with you?
25:17
SPEAKER_00: No, you don't have to go to therapy when you're at rock bottom.
25:23
SPEAKER_00: You can go to therapy just to have another sounding board to process feelings with someone who is a third party unbiased with your mental health and and therapy.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: Again, that's something you schedule.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: Okay, every other week.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: Um you don't have to do it every single week.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: How about twice a month?
25:42
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
25:43
SPEAKER_00: What's the worst that could happen?
25:44
SPEAKER_00: You do it for a while and then you're like, I'm good, like wasn't for me.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: Then, you know, your your mental health as well, or sorry, your emotional health is kind of tied into that as well.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: But um, I even do things to sharpen my mind and my memory and my cognitive skills.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: Cause you know, we're at the age like once you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60, like you're not always learning new skills, new languages anymore.
26:13
SPEAKER_00: So, what are you doing to keep yourself mentally sharp?
26:16
SPEAKER_00: So I even do things, you know, to keep my mental or my cognitive skills up, you know, because we're not learning a ton of new things anymore.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: And so those synapses aren't firing as much as they once were when we were, you know, children going to school, learning new things, learning new skills, growing physically.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: Like we can kind of hit like a mental plateau, if you will.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, there's a lot of things out there to help kind of keep you like you could learn a new skill.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: If you're like, yeah, when do I have the time to take guitar lessons or piano lessons?
26:55
SPEAKER_00: I get that.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: So there's like apps.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: I use Lumosity and you still use that?
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Um, it's really fun.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: Some of them still use that.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: They are kind of fun.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they they're different games that they give you every day to help different parts of cognition, like task changing or problem solving, or there's some linguistic type things, or multitasking.
27:21
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like helping your brain light up in ways that just do going about your normal daily life wouldn't.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: And then continuing to learn as well, like being a reader.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: I think, you know, I know Jeff does not love to read, and so he always has a defense against it.
27:38
SPEAKER_00: But I think as a pastor, you learn a lot though.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: You listen to podcasts.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: I do.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: So you are this one.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: Don't listen.
27:47
SPEAKER_00: But you you are learning a lot.
27:49
SPEAKER_01: I I play Wordle.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: I'd like to say that I got one first try yesterday.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: You're so smart.
27:59
SPEAKER_01: First time.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: It was like 400 and something times, and I finally got one on first try.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: That's not a skill, that's total luck.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: I forget what Wordle is.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: Where you it's a five-letter word, it's a new one every day, and you get like six chances to figure out what the five-letter word is.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh so I've been playing the same word for a while.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: That's true.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if anyone's playing Wordle.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: It popped up on my paid for AOL account.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: Just kidding.
28:28
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, but I like nobody knows what AOL is.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: No, you see, kids.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, but I got it first try.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
28:36
SPEAKER_00: Biggest acknowledgement.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: Well, what's your word?
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Social media and like no likes, no love, whatever.
28:41
SPEAKER_01: Because they're like, what's Wordle?
28:43
SPEAKER_01: What's the what?
28:44
SPEAKER_01: What's the rule?
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, what's the word?
28:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh, tulip is the one I've been playing for over a year.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: Why you ask?
28:54
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm glad you asked that question.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: Is because not be my 30 minutes of enjoyment time with the family.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: It's not.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: That's what I was gonna say.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, reading.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: What are you going to read this year?
29:16
SPEAKER_00: What are you going to learn?
29:17
SPEAKER_00: How are you going to develop yourself professionally, learning and reading all the time?
29:23
SPEAKER_00: As I think for a leader, that is seriously non-negotiable.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, how are you expanding your understanding of everything?
29:31
SPEAKER_00: Because we lead people in so many areas.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: And we can't just like stop our education and just, oh, whatever I think.
29:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously, we're studying the word all the time, and everything comes back to, you know, this biblical lens of everything, but there's so much biblical, like pastors who write books are ways of seeing things that help us in our job, help us be better teachers, help us be better leaders.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: I feel like leaders should be reading and learning every single day to become better at how we lead people.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, and then the those answer, these are the systems, like okay, so a system for mental health.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: When I'm in the car waiting for pickup, a lot of times I want to scroll TikTok.
30:27
SPEAKER_00: And my brain says, do that.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: That's really fun for you.
30:31
SPEAKER_00: Because you're gonna see a funny Dachshund video, you're gonna get a new recipe, you're gonna find out, you know, some funny like I love my algorithm right now, so hilarious.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: But I have a book on my passenger seat that has to do with professional development, leadership development, and I read that instead.
30:50
SPEAKER_00: I know, and then when the cars start moving, then I'm like, okay, maybe I can watch one TikTok, right?
30:55
SPEAKER_01: Um while the cars are moving, yeah.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Drive and watch, it's fine.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: But um I make myself do that, or I make myself open the Lumosity app and do a few of the like cognitive health games and stuff like that.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: But see, that's a system that's built in.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: When I'm in the car, idle time, it's these are my two options book or this.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: And so I've built that into the system of pickup.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: So what and and then you find all the available time you have as well.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, there are these little pockets when people say I don't have time.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, what are the pockets of time that you could put toward that?
31:38
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I fit it all in, and I don't feel like I was so busy and my head's gonna fall off.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, it was like I fit in a couple of games here.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: I I read before I went to bed or I read in the car.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: Like it happened because it was just a part of the rhythm that I've set up the system.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel like this, oh no, kind of thing.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: And so you might have to exchange some like wants for for needs at the beginning.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
32:12
SPEAKER_00: Like there might be a time that you might have to give up for something else.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: But the ultimate question is what is most important to you and becoming who you want to become?
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Is it another episode of fill in the blank?
32:28
SPEAKER_00: Does is that helping you become who you want to become?
32:30
SPEAKER_00: And you might say, Oh, I want to be a rested person.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I still watch a show.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: We are watching some show right now.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: I can't remember the name of it.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: And it's like terminal list, yeah.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it's like I still watched it, it just I didn't have to watch it for an hour and a half.
32:47
SPEAKER_00: I did all the things I needed to do, and then I watched 20 minutes and went to bed, you know.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: Like it wasn't even that much.
32:53
SPEAKER_00: I was really tired last night, but I still fit in a coffee with a friend, I still fit in these things that make my life enjoyable.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: It's just the system brings balance to it all so that your autopilot of desire isn't in control.
33:14
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
33:14
SPEAKER_00: Because if you just leave it up to desire, it's like I don't feel like meal prepping.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: It's easier to go through the drive-thru.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, the system has to be in place until it becomes second nature to you.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: Because maybe second nature to you right now is watching an hour and a half of TV in the evening when you still could have watched TV, but half of that could have been strength training.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:37
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
33:38
SPEAKER_00: Or simultaneous, like we were saying.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: So it the system can work with the right intentionality.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: Because yeah, as we go into this next year, I hope we're all asking the question not just what do I want to do and what do I want to accomplish, but who do I want to be?
33:57
SPEAKER_00: What kind of person do I want to be?
33:58
SPEAKER_00: How do I want to steward the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual capacities that God has given me in my I mean, I only get one life, you know?
34:11
SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing too, like, I don't know exactly the questions God asks us at the end of our life, but I do know we're accountable to our life and how we spend it.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: How do we love others?
34:24
SPEAKER_00: How do we do like because I want to do ministry for as long as possible, and I guess I see those systems as a vehicle to do it, you know, so that my personal unhealth doesn't get in the way of what I want to accomplish for the kingdom.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: I think that's a good note to end on.
34:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
34:46
SPEAKER_01: And and with that kind of comes with that um a little bit of strictness where you have to have like accountability with yourself to make sure.
34:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's discipline for sure.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: The hard things.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: There's Paul talks about that.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: Right.
34:57
SPEAKER_01: There's a uh scene in Forrest Gump where he talks about when he goes, like just starts running, like for like all day long or whatever, he's like, if I'm tired, I stopped and slept.
35:07
SPEAKER_01: If I was hungry, I would stop and eat.
35:08
SPEAKER_01: And that idea has always like been in my head.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, what would life look like if you were just like, I'm gonna do what I want to do?
35:15
SPEAKER_01: Like if you financially, if you were like a bajillionaire and you would money was not an issue, but it's like I'm gonna do whatever I feel like doing.
35:23
SPEAKER_01: You would screw up your life so fast based off of doing only what your desires were telling you to do.
35:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like if you said, I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed, it's six, it's six o'clock at night, and you go to bed, you would probably be up at three in the morning for the day.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: Now you've screwed up that day, or I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat, and I want to eat this, and it's bad for me.
35:43
SPEAKER_01: Like it would snow.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: I literally would be like on my deathbed after a week because of all the stupid things that I wanted to do that I shouldn't have done.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: Obviously, that's an extreme example, but it's like you do have to kind of take some strictness into your systems and say, no, I really do have to do this.
36:02
SPEAKER_01: I totally don't want to do it, but I have to because if they don't do it, the results afterwards I'm gonna really regret.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, and you're totally right.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: And Tim Keller talks a lot about like our desires and how a lot of sin is like misplaced desires.
36:22
SPEAKER_00: And it's like this idea, like you were talking about what if we just lived on our desires, you know, like a child.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: That's what children do, that's why they need parents because parents are the regulator of the children's desires until the child is mature enough to regulate their own desires.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: That's why kids want ice cream for breakfast, and that's why they want to binge TV all day long and rot, you know, but parents serve as that regulator.
36:46
SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I think there is a spiritual element where you can ask God to help you rewrite some of these desires too, so that it's not this like uphill battle every single day.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: Like Paul talks about discipline of an athlete and he talks about you know running the race and all of that.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think there is a level of discipline that we need forever.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: But I also think you can ask God to rewrite that desire so that it's almost a joy, not a burden.
37:21
SPEAKER_00: Like when I go for a walk, I'm not like, uh, I hate it.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm praying, I'm walking, I'm outside, it's beautiful, you know, it's a pleasure.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: Did it start that way?
37:33
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
37:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't really remember, but it's like God can rewrite and replace our desire for something not good for us with something good for us, you know, and you can ask for that, you know.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: And so it does take discipline maybe at the beginning, but I think it's completely possible for him to rewrite those.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: So it would be discipline, obviously, right in the beginning, you know, you have to just get it on the calendar and do it, make it a habit.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: But then over time, he can rewrite those desires so that you start to desire what's good for you and instead of what's bad for you.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: I think that's completely possible.
38:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:15
SPEAKER_01: Also, it's probably why as adults we start to eventually get to the point where we're saying ice cream for breakfast.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: That sounds so gross as an adult, but as a child, you're like, this is the greatest idea in the world, you know?
38:25
SPEAKER_00: Right, because your desires mature.
38:27
SPEAKER_01: Right.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: And they should mature spiritually as well.
38:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, but Tim Keller talks a lot about that, though, of your desires maturing past childhood.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, why doesn't the trash that you used to want like I used to eat sticks of butter when I was a kid, like straight out of the fridge, right?
38:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: I was compelled to do it.
38:49
SPEAKER_00: And so someone told me it was a cartilage deficiency or something because theirs said they did too.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: I was eating sticks of butter.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: But then as you mature, your cravings change, your desires change, and spiritually, you know, it should be the same.
39:05
SPEAKER_00: We should want what's good for us so that we can do kingdom work well and for the long haul without getting in the way of it, you know.
39:15
SPEAKER_01: Um, you had talked about earlier, you know, kind of incorporating friendships and relationships into your daily life or weekly life.
39:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh, we did an episode a long time ago, but it was a really good one about youth pastors need more friends and kind of like just other people in their life and not just focusing totally on just work all the time.
39:34
SPEAKER_01: I would encourage you guys maybe to check that episode out.
39:36
SPEAKER_01: All right, let's do a community comment of the day.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: This comes from our good friend Christian Tonkins, who's also a member.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: What's that last name?
39:44
SPEAKER_01: I know.
39:44
SPEAKER_01: It's it's next level.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: We met him um actually at the DYM 100.
39:50
SPEAKER_01: I think it was the 100 um rad guy.
39:52
SPEAKER_01: He's also like eight feet tall.
39:53
SPEAKER_01: Um, wasn't expecting that.
39:55
SPEAKER_01: What?
39:56
SPEAKER_00: I said hard to miss.
39:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
39:57
SPEAKER_01: That's an artemis.
39:59
SPEAKER_01: Artis.
40:00
SPEAKER_01: Artemis.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: That's my nickname for it.
40:02
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, Christian, he's a member of our YMGA course.
40:05
SPEAKER_01: Rad guy, he says, love this show.
40:08
SPEAKER_01: One of my all-time favorite episodes was episode 107: Practices for Speaking to Students Better.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: It gave me so much confidence that I needed in that time.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: So thank you.
40:17
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Artemis.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Christian.
40:20
SPEAKER_01: It was great meeting you.
40:22
SPEAKER_01: And we thank you guys so much for watching and listening.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: And we'll see you next time.
40:29
SPEAKER_01: Do you see what I see?
40:32
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much.
40:34
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
40:35
SPEAKER_01: Glad you appreciate the uh too many words, Jeff.
40:42
SPEAKER_01: You're here too.
40:43
SPEAKER_00: Somebody else talk now.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to land this lane.