Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS Hour 3 | Comedian Affion Crockett joins DLHS crew

Transcript

DLHS Hour 3 | Comedian Affion Crockett joins DLHS crew · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It is the day you can show your twenty twenty five.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: And this is in the case you're going to be
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: in Baltimore. Be there this Friday and Saturday and Sunday
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: at Baltimore Comedy Factory. I know Gary's coming, right, It's
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: very interesting. I was going to say this, and it is. Yeah,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: of course I'm going to go see Gary h and
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I might go to Lexington Market and give me a chilling.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Sub I thought they didn't sell those anymore. They do.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I mean, I just would I make better choices now,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: but yeah, they still do.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Gotcha.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: We were talking, so I think that the smartest you
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: know what irritated me.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: I just gotta say this.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: So right when this thing happened, I said that, as
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: athletes that get scholarships, you're not going to season correct.
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: It was everywhere right right, And I pulled the dates
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: for you just so you So you actually did it
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: on May ninth, soon as it happens. Yeah, you did
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: an interview out of Nashville. I think, yes, yes, you
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: did that May night, and then on May tenth you
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: tweet you on threads.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: You posted it, no ipposted it before I twist you did.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I twisted I posted it before I did the interview,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: which is why they did.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: They wanted to do that, I couldn't find it.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: And then you know, then then the n w a
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: CP said, hey, you know what, wait, wait, we did
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: that already.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: He did that, we talked about on the air. He
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: did a podcast.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: And what I don't want is for somebody to say
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: that I'm stealing from somebody. You know, somebody do a
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: podcast and say you stole something from all of a sudden,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I know, but you know, I don't even like the
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: appearance of that. I don't like the Peteinda that. And
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: now because of this Rose I guess it's some fat
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: comedian and stuff and stuff. To me, it is that
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: the dude that looked like Rosie O'donnald talking to me,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: a fat white.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Come on now, I ain't gonna have it. And to
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: be honest, it's two of them.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: How can you tell talking about.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: How could you tell? How can you tell? Oh? Wow,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: yeah they are they were dogging you out.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah okay, yeah, but that's the closest exercise and fat
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: ass is gonna get it. I've never seen the White
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Weather girls before, and it takes two of them the game.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well three, if it's being honest, because it's a
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: chicken there too.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: It was that they were all roasting here. I thought that,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but that's the closest to losing weight.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: They're gonna get. They should make better choices, clearly should.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: But I'd be damn if I'm gonna take that from
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: a dude with a sea cup. I ain't gonna do that.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: You can stand up being a midget me like that.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I'll be damn if I'm gonna take that from a
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: dude who lactates. That's not gonna happen. Man, if he
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: leave my name out of his mouth, he had much
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: more room for snacks.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, you win.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: From a fat white boy, he must be out your mind.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: I'm stupid. Your dying choices are stupid.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: Big J.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Don't that sound like a biscuits sweat? What a guy?
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Can I have a big J?
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: And waffle fry comes with a double ship? Come on, now,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: how does a grown dude wear fingerless gloves?
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: He probably hate those dudes, Like, how you do that?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Coming out the white daisy? What we're gonna do.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: It's going to play and then we'll run after this.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: He better not fall in the parking lot. People will
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: put their key in his ear regular I'm not doing it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: Welcome back to the video you Glee Show. We're hanging
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: out here with Crocketts.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: She she changed my name every put on it.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Appreciate get right.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: So you're German and black? Right?
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, I'm turning in. I grew up in Germany
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: by way of the Army, so I'm not German at all. Really,
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: I just grew up there.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody told me you were Germany.
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: No, who knows, who knows live?
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. Your parents were in the
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Air Force.
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: No, my dad was in the army, but your training daddy.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: My mom is Trinny. Yeah, so I'm a mutt, I'm
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Tiger Woods.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: But you were raised in Germany for a long time.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so like five to sixteen you speak Germanlina.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, every time that Germany says something and that sounds
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: like yeah, you sound like racism.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: You feel about country music no matter what it sounds
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: like racist?
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Ifinitely start talking ye dogs this day. But I think
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: you said, I'm quite sure you.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Said you're a breakdan in your teeth your breakdance an
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: actor and the comedian I do it all man, So
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: you can't nobody tell you no, I green like myself. Right.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: You cracked me up, man, Your Instagram cracked me up.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Come on, brother, you too. We already see each other
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: and be like, hey man, you that's like you. Who
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: did you just do that?
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: Man?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Was still like, like, I know, on stage people take
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: a lot of heat for the things they say, But.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Does that happen to you a lot on Instagram? Too? No? No,
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: I just I don't care. You know what I'm saying.
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: You can't people doing no no one. I don't really
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: get like people getting offended and all that. I'm sure
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: somebody might get offense, but if they do, I don't
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: care because I know that the spirit and how I
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: said it, I'm not gonna let them take the freedom
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: that we have.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: I agree. I'm just not gonna do it. I agree.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: And we in this baby white ass generation now where
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: you can't say nothing. Everybody's upset about something. So at
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: this point you never could could please anybody throughout history.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: You could never please everybody, So why I try? So
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: now I do what I want on I g yes,
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: I want to stage.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I don't care, so nobody's off limits.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Nothing's off limits.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: I'm not gonna say that because again I know the
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: spirit and why I said it. So if I already
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: edit myself because I have enough respect for somebody who
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: died or somebody's illness or something that.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not, you already did a background check, you did
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: your do dealings.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: It's just, yeah, my own ethics won't allow me to
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: do things that I feel like it is gonna down
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: downgrade somebody, or you know, degrade somebody or make somebody
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: feel a way. So I stick within my lane. But
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: within my lane, right, I'm free to do whatever something
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: you hell I.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Want, I'll go I'm not gonna like that because I
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: don't want to. I don't want Yeah, I'll think about
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: it first. I'll be like, you know what, right, that
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: might not be the right right. I'm probably.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: Here's the thing, man, Back even back in school, back
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: in like middle school, I remember joning on. It was
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: just a little fat ginger. It was the twins, right,
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: and one of them was in my class. And this
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: is in Germany. Yeah, but we were in American schools
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: in Germany. And I was roasting dude for like twenty minutes.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Everyone was like.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: Laughing at him, and I could see the pain on
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: his face, like melting like hot wax.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: On the inside.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: I felt bad because I remember what it felt like
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: for when people was bullying me and I pulled them
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: aside afterwards and I apologize him. So that little, that
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: little moral compass for me still stays there. So as
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: hard as I go, there's certain things where I'd be like,
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: if you're a redhead German dude.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: I'll let you slide because I saw that I did
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: that before.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: If you're living the dude from Game of Thrones.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: I'm stop, but it's pull my foot off the game.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I think people think that we don't that a lot
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: of comics don't have what you just describe, which is
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: a level of compassion, and that we do have a
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: mechanism that we screened things to they have and internal
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: like we all have age. But I think the artificial
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: is of what I have a problem with, Like, I'm
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: supposed to ascribe to your moral code and that's that's
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: what the problem is.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: You do, Yeah, it is.
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: It's some Look, some people go wherever they want to
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: go by comedy, and I gotta respect them. But you know,
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: until you talk about my mom.
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, thank you so much for stopping by.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: We really recated. It's now time to give a deserving
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: something on the Shoe Booty of the Week Award.
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: And now it's time for the.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Shoes Booty of the Week Award.
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: Stephen A. Smith is an American television personality, radio hosts,
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: sports analyst, and actor.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: It's Good, Good, and Terrible.
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: He makes frequent appearances as an NBA analyst for ESPN
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: on Sports Center, NBA Countdown, and the network's NBA broadcast.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: Lost.
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: So why is Stephen A. Smith this week's recipient of
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: the Shoe Booty of the Week Award. Well, let's be nice.
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: Let's be nice. We don't have to go there. Stephenny
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: Rant gets the shoe Booty because he suspected of making
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: that big House Blager statement, you know, black maga, I
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: need you to shut the hell off. It sounded like
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: he was joining Fat Donald and the coning kids Screaming.
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: A was on Cam Newton's fourth and one show and
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: said he wants black people to vote for the party
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: that is taking away our voting rights, erasing our history,
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: defunding HBCUs, destroying healthcare, increasing unemployment, starting new wars, and
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: decimating the economy that is blasphemous as Latinos, how it
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: worked out for them.
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: You have to apologize for making fun of my culture,
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: my believes my tunejuio maya willa no bueno.
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: Although you probably won't be able to hear their answer
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: from in the back of the white van, he tried
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: to break it down by saying, the Democrats take our
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: votes for granted. It's like we're there side chicks, so
• 10:14
  Speaker 5: they don't have to work for our vote. Republicans never
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: depend on it, so they don't work for it either.
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: He thinks this way, both parties will finally have to
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: compete for the black vote.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: How so sick to these people?
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: You know, it was like he was trying to win
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: an argument with a deaf person from across the street.
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: You can't ask people to vote against their best interest
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: for one voting cycle just so they'll feel wanted on
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: the WTF scale of one. To Tim Scott, it's all
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: Tim Scott, I mean, you just can't make this up.
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: That line of thinking should be gone faster than the
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: phrase it's giving. When it comes to giving black people
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: bad advice, Stephen A is the g oat goat.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I need you to shut the hell up.
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: And that's why the shoe Booty of the Week award
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: goes too.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Stephen A. Smith.
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: Now here's a swift kick in the ass.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: See you want to see you goodbye. That is time
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: for what you need to know with the one only
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Sybil Wilkes. It's Sybil Wilkes with what we need to know.
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: History's on the ballot, as former Atlanta Mayor Keisha lance
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: Bottom secured the Georgia Democratic gubernatorial nomination, aiming to become
• 11:35
  Speaker 6: this nation's first black female governor. Meanwhile, Trump backed Ed
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: gall Rain unseated vocal critic Thomas Masseley in Kentucky's high
• 11:43
  Speaker 6: stakes GOP congressional primary. The NAACP launched its out of
• 11:47
  Speaker 6: bounds campaign urging the black athlete boycott of major Southern
• 11:51
  Speaker 6: college sports programs over systemic hits to the Voting Rights Act.
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: This push comes just as the score ass hits a
• 11:58
  Speaker 6: roadblock on the House floor after face strong opposition from
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: the Congressional Black Caucus. In Virginia, Governor Abigail Stanberger officially
• 12:06
  Speaker 6: vetoed a recreational cannabis marketplace, while Disney faces a new
• 12:10
  Speaker 6: class action lawsuit in California, over a secret facial recognition
• 12:14
  Speaker 6: biometrics at Bean Park Gates. And in sports, the NIXT
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: stage a stunning twenty two point comeback to take Game
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: one over the Calves in the Eastern Conference Finals. I'm
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: Sybil Wilkes, be informed, be empowered.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Sybil. All Right, more of the
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: DL Youuglee Show is coming up directly. It's the d
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: l Uglee Show.