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Compromise Cuts You Off From Your Biggest Life · Becoming Flame: Where Sensuality, Sovereignty, and Sacred Power Ignite

• Kait Tregenza: Well, I have a controversial topic. The good news is it will help you a lot. The bad news is it may or may not be obvious. And it may be the one thing that you're really going to be challenged on or you are going to challenge me on. And so I'm actually really excited about this. And basically your reaction to what I'm about to say is really determined by where you're at in your life, what level you're about to step up into and whether or not you're ready for that. And so I want you to remember and yet completely forget all of that. And let me start with this topic. So we're talking about compromise. There are so many things that we hear about what compromise means. We get told all the time that for a relationship to function, for two people to walk a life together, for two people to have an optimal relationship, for two people to flow, to grow, to be in a relationship, there must be compromised and here's my take on that. mean you must know what I'm about to say, right? Don't do it. This is tough because here's the thing. Let's think about this Let ⁓ me break this all down. ⁓ What is... What is compromise? How does compromise differ from boundaries? Okay these are really really really important things to talk about. when are vibrating ⁓ at a really high level of love. When are in full alignment. When you are standing in your power. When you are standing in your truth. When you are standing in your authenticity. Compromise takes you out of that. Compromise says, I don't believe. I don't have faith. I can't have it all. I'm not abundant. I need to settle. everything that I want, everything that is available for me. ⁓ maybe it's not true and maybe I should just take what I have in front of me or try to make that work. Now I'm not even talking about compromise in a relationship, although that's definitely applicable to this conversation. I'm even talking about compromise in terms of your business, in terms of a career, in terms of your salary, in terms of your friends, everything. The energy of compromise means I don't have enough faith in me, in myself, in my power and in my personal It is actually a feedback point where you doubt yourself, where you aren't powered up, where your identity is locked into a smaller version. And so I'm going to settle I don't believe enough. I'm not available to go out and open myself up even further. I'm not allowing myself to show up in my life for me. so I'm going to show up in somebody else's life for them. I'm not going to be the starring role in my own movie. I'm going to just take this supporting role and hope it all works out. So let's talk about this in relationships, okay? In an intimate relationship or a friendship, irrespective. Let's talk about this in terms of how you create a life together with somebody. Basically, you are all on this journey. You're all in this part of your life, which is saying more and more and open and open and open and open and more and more and more and more. And yes, I can. And yes, I can. And yes, I can. The moment that you step out of this coursework, and I see it over and over and over again, the moment that you step out of this coursework back into what is deemed by so many as the real world. Thank you. I don't know where you think I live but okay. Apparently you live in the real world and I live in some other strange multiverse. Maybe I do live in a strange multiverse and maybe you should come and live with me because it's great. When you step out of this realm of potentiality of all that could be and when you've been shopping in that and when you've been exciting your life around that and creating your existence around all that could be and all that you dream of having when you put your passion when you put your purpose when you put your intentions at the core of everything you do and you and you energize that and you create that field and basically what you're doing is saying everything in my in my life now needs to match this my health will now match this My relationships will now match this. My business, my finances, my everything will match how much passion I have for these core passions, how much love I have for these core passions. And that excitement and that momentum and that compulsion to see that happen in the world is the propulsion you need to bring it into magnetization towards you. And yet what happens when you go back and you compromise? We spend all this time getting you to stand in your power, getting you to stand in your faith, strengthening that muscle of faith and trust, strengthening the vision around what you have for your life when it is ideal, when it is absolutely perfect, when it is exactly how you want it to be. And what happens when you compromise? You say, ⁓ I'm not actually committed. I'm not actually willing. I'm not actually dedicated. And I'm stepping out of that alignment. And so you're working against yourself. You're saying I'm not actually ready for this yet. So let's do an exercise. I want you to pause the recording as we go through this. Get your journal ready. Get whatever you need ready now. Pause the video and then come back to me. Okay, so first of all, what are you compromising on? Pause the video and brain dump right now. What if I, how are you compromising in your friendships? Think of your top most common friends. How are you compromising there? What about how are you compromising in your relationship? How are you compromising at work? How are you compromising in your business? How are you compromising your health? How are you compromising? Pause the video and just do a total brain jump right now. Okay, so go back and look over your list. Look at all of these areas of your life that you're compromising in. Why? What's being brought up for you right now? Write down all the reasons. But what I want you to do is firstly, pause the video. Write down all the reasons why you are. compromising, look at it all. Give me literally every excuse that you have. Go into that total excuse. Well, it's because of this, and it's because of this, it's good. Give it to me all. Write it down. Brain dump. Go. Then look at that list and decide what's the one word it could all be distilled down into. OK? So look at this word. this word it is what is keeping you between the way you are and that dream that you have it is your Achilles heel it is your kryptonite right now what is that fear what's that fear connected to is it about being disliked is it about being lonely is it about Not knowing what's on the other side. Is it about feeling attachment to what you have and not really sure how to let go of that? Is it that unknown? How do I how would I actually be if I had everything that I wanted? Is it that you don't think that you deserve it? Is it you think that you're not worthy? Are you willing to do the work? Are you? Do you feel like it's going to take more away than give you? What is it? What's happening there? Why are you compromising? What tends to happen in relationships is this feeling that you need to be loyal, the, you know, to be spiritual, to be loving. You need to stay in relationships that don't serve you, that don't feel good to you. I think one of the most common reasons why people stay in relationships that don't serve them is financial fear. So think about that as an energy that you are not taking expansionary soul steps because you're fearful for money. And so what you're doing is you're cultivating a strong sensation that your fear of money, your fear of financial freedom, your fear of financial security is stronger than your faith that all will be delivered for you. and that you don't actually believe that you need to step up into your higher purpose. ⁓ And so you're actually energizing your desire to stay small or your requirement to stay small. So let's think about this compromise from a different perspective. Now, you've got all of this out on paper. You see where you're leaking your energy, see where you're giving that away. So let's talk about, again, the difference between boundaries and compromise. Boundaries is something that people talk about putting at the frontier of their energy. so that the, you know, let's call them vultures or vampires or whatever it is, they, the narcissist, they can't come into our energy field and take out energy from us. And so ⁓ it's this feeling that we are under attack. Whereas we know when we're living in the vibration of love or above, when we're living in joy, when we're living in passion, when we're opening up into higher and higher and higher levels of truth and self and actualization of that truth and embodiment of that truth, we don't need those boundaries in the same way because we're now outside of the realms of karma. We've transcended the law of karma. And I'll go into that in a little bit more detail in another audio and another video. So for now, just take my word for it that when you vibrate at love, you start to understand that there's a lot of nuanced energy. There's a lot of capacity to drill down into what is love, what is joy, and what does that create, what does that do, and how does that shift the entire world around you? And that is what being in your flow is. It's not necessarily being in flow and having a good and easy life. It's actually realizing that you've stepped out of the confinement that karma has kept you in. Because you're actually saying, That 3D world, that's illusion. That's insanity. And again, I'm going to go into that ⁓ in a different kind of video in a different module. What I want to do now is really hone into this capacity that you have to transcend the requirements that you have for boundaries. But, and here's the clincher, your power over where you put your energy has nothing to do with boundaries. Boundaries are a fence on the outside, the perimeter, on the frontier of you that is designed to keep ⁓ outside forces out. Compromise comes from within. It is your energy directors decision about where that power, where that energy goes. Okay? That means... If I choose to not energize my dreams, but rather energize my fears, or that means if I don't want to hold the vibration of abundance and I want to fall back into lack, and that's where I choose to put my energy, and that's where I choose to compromise for myself, that's my choice. No one forced me. Nobody invaded my frontiers. came in to decide to do that. And so when you choose to compromise, you choose to fall out of love. You choose that. And I need you to come to an understanding. Because in the realm of a relationship, an intimate partner, if you are in a vibrational match to that which is unconditional love, you will never need to compromise. Because That person who is also in a vibrational match to unconditional love would never ask you to or expect you to or even think about that because they understand ⁓ how energy works. and they love you unconditionally and the concept of limiting you in any way would be completely foreign and so unappealing to them as a person of spiritual substance and someone who understands the mechanics of unconditional love or source derived love. Compromise gets you into a place of codependency. Compromise requires you to be dependent on another. It requires you to be very interested in ⁓ the realm of the victim, in the realm of the saboteur, in the realm of the smallness and of the lack. And so what you're doing in terms of allowing somebody else to treat you that way. is that you're saying that that's okay. And what you are doing is you are now becoming a vibrational match because you are giving acceptance to that treatment. Not only to that relationship, but to all relationships of every kind, i.e. money, i.e. jobs, i.e. i.e. i.e. everything, right? So you want to up level your life and yet in your most intimate relationship, what you are displaying is behavior akin to very small victim mindset. You are displaying fear, are displaying lack and you are displaying mistrust of the universe. You are disrespecting yourself and therefore you are allowing that disrespect to now be what you expect and accept. I want to talk to you a little bit more about compromise and how it disempowers both parties. Okay so one of the very common things that I used to hear and that I've heard from so many people is this concept of ⁓ somebody else's dream becoming very, powerful in the relationship, someone else's life goal, life purpose, or work desires, whatever it is, becoming very, very dominant of the relationship and that expectation that the other person, i.e. you, needs to change, adhere to that regulation, compromise to make that work. give up their own sense of self give up their own work give up something in order to make that work and the rhetoric normally goes like this I've given up so much for you you should give up this for me and it sounds innocent but check into your body I want you to think about that right now ⁓ After I ask this question, just pause the video for as long as you need and check in with your body. See what happens when you repeat this phrase to yourself. You should do this for me. Well, I've done this for you, so you should do this for me. Pause here. What's coming up for you? How does that feel? What's happening in your body? Where is that showing up? What sensation? What emotion? Do you feel constricted in your throat? Do you feel tight in your belly? Do you feel angry? Do you feel frustrated? What's happening? Be present. And so I want you to understand where else have you felt that sensation from. Where do you feel that sensation in other areas of your life? How does that pattern show up in other places? Do you ask for what you want? Or do you change your language to appeal to what the other person needs to hear or what you think the other person wants to hear? Or do you use very clear, concise, direct language? Do you backflip on what you actually want to say when the opportunity to say what you're truly feeling arises? And therefore does that backflipping actually when you compromise, you when you go in to say something to somebody and they maybe overpower you or bully you or you just start feeling really scared to hurt their feelings and so you back down away or you know, whatever it may be, you start to feel this concept that whatever it may be you start to feel this concept that you you just don't want to be disliked. You fear that emotional repercussion for that person. You don't want to hurt somebody. And so I really want to ask you this very strong question. Eventually, don't you need to say the thing that you need to say anyway? How does avoiding the topic, how does procrastinating in delivering your message actually help you? Isn't it better for you to realize what you actually want in your life? Allow yourself to open up to that. Align to that. Feel that, energize that, open that up and simply walk into that dream. Simply walk into that reality. Extend the invitation to the other person to come along and grow with you to expand themselves to let go of all the lactic, let go of all of the limitations that they have around them, their own self, let go of their narcissistic manipulative or whatever it may be behavior. step out of their fear and step into the paradigm of luxurious abundance with you? That's a possibility. But again, you are not going to pull anyone out from their misery if you hang out in the misery land. Do you think that anything that you guys say to me is ever going to make me think, you know what? Yeah, it would be really cool to go and live in that amount of fear and misery. They make a really good point about the excuses that they have for why living in the fifth dimension isn't that great of an idea. Maybe I need to go back down to them. No way. None of you would grow if I didn't have the sense of conviction over what I'm talking about right now So if I compromised in our relationship when we're coaching Together, know when we're on the calls or in our private sessions together If I compromised on what I knew to be true and what I saw for you If I compromised on that because you were in this place of absolute fear and I was in this place of absolute certainty and I said, okay, well, let's do this. Let's compromise. Let's meet in the middle. Number one you would quit this coaching program straight away because you would not be getting results. Number two it is harder to make a move into a compromise than it is to make a move into truth. so when i say to you it is absolutely untrue that you need to live in any fear. i do not say it's absolutely impossible that you can live without these five fears but all the other fears are fine. That's a ridiculous thing to say, but that is compromise. The other thing that happens a lot, so check into this. is when we compromise or when we when we take ownership of somebody else's misery which is another way of thinking about compromise we take ownership of somebody else's life outcomes. What you do. is you simultaneously disempower them by stripping them of the ownership and accountability that they have over their own life and their own choices and their own capacity to actually make the shifts and the changes and the radical improvements in their life. You take that away from them because you've assumed responsibility for their stuff. When you say, I'm willing to compromise on that because I don't think that you can do it alone. And I don't have a strong enough frame to bring you to where I stand in total abundance, in total clarity and total freedom. When I step out of that, I'm stepping out of my own power. I disempower myself. I let go of my truth. I let go of my authenticity. I disempower myself and I give my power away to you. But you can't use that power. But ultimately, what I'm also doing is I'm taking away your power. I'm disempowering you by taking away your choice and your capacity to actually solve this problem yourself. So two people are left far more disempowered than they started. And two people are left with no progress and with no sense of happiness or completion or fulfillment. Because if one person wants black, and one person wants white, neither person is happy with gray. Because a win-win is one person having black and one person having white. And a lose-lose is two people having gray. And yet, there's this assumption in relationships is that everybody should want gray. And that's not true. So few people actually want grey. So there's this breeding of codependency in these relationships by saying, well, you need to be happy with Gray because we signed a contract. We signed a marriage license, or we signed a business deal. And what I find is the reason that people compromise is because they didn't understand what they were signing up for at the beginning of their relationship. And you need to be really clear about whether or not you're signing up for continual growth. expansion and and whether or not you are in this to really understand the absolute unlimited capacity that you have to love and to love from a very unconditional and completely interdependent capacity in no way codependent capacity. What this all comes down to is how are you using your own energy? How are you using your own power? Where are you putting that power into your life? Is it going into the toilet? Or is it going into growing something that you're actually here to grow? Now, it might sound like I'm telling you to leave anyone who wants you to do something different to what you're actually asking for. And that's not necessarily true. I'm asking you to stop assuming that compromise is the right answer to your relationship problems. Because let me tell you, those compromises only ever create perpetual problems. All of the rhetoric, all of the dialogue, all of the communication that is not had is both the cause and the antidote to this problem. Communication is at the core to this. If you can start to communicate very clearly, articulately, exactly what it is that you want, what it is that you are opening up into. So I encourage you don't be so narrow here. Don't say that you want a very specific outcome that leaves no bandwidth for either the universe to provide you with something even better and doesn't provide your partner, your spouse, your relationship intimate lover to rise up, to grow, to take up more space in his or her own power center as well. especially if you choose to stay within the relationship and you choose for the relationship to continue to grow and expand beyond the confines of the codependency. The other side of this is that if you are uncomfortable with your own power, then it has likely not shown up in your relationship before. And so you're going to need to articulate why and how you being in your power is now your new norm. And that those kinds of little comments that you'll hear, ⁓ especially as feedback, to to how you want to. move beyond the current confines of the relationship that's going to take some pushback. So if you're not clear about what you want, if you're not clear about who you are, more importantly, if you're not clear about the goal of opening up to greater and greater aspects of your multi-dimensionality, this is going to be incredibly difficult for you to communicate and articulate. directly, concisely, and clearly. Clear communication of what your requirements are, what your expectations, but in a different way to what you might normally classify expectations of. Your expectations is like what you now accept. It's more like your non-negotiables. I am no longer available to show up in a powerless way in this or any relationship in this house or any other space in my life. And powerlessness used to be my norm. I have come to an understanding that I don't want to be powerless anymore. I'm still developing my own personal power, but I need to step out of this level of powerlessness in order to be able to do that. I want to maximize my business impact. I want to earn $100,000 a month. And I cannot earn $100,000 a month if I come home and give away all my power to my family members, because that translates into me giving away my power for my clients, for my customers, for my suppliers. And so cultivating this level of personal power for me is actually bringing me into a capacity to love at a higher level. And I would like to open myself up to loving at this higher level. I would like to open myself up to fall deeply and passionately in love with myself. And as I do that more and more and more, I find it harder and harder. In fact, I find it impossible. And I find it Absolutely against my grain. It is completely incongruent with me to give away my power, to give away myself, to give away my truth and to act inauthentically and incongruently with who I am and who I am becoming but ultimately who I have always been and I just forgot because these kinds of small acts of giving away my power, of stepping into my victim, of compromising, of allowing myself to be manipulated, of allowing myself to fall prey to the narcissist. All stops now. And so investigate the energy of compromise. I invite you to do some free writing on what is compromise. and open this topic up for experimentation. You know that I am a huge advocate for making your own choices, for making your own journey. Open this up. See what feels right for you. How are you going to be able to run an experiment on whether I am inviting you to experience a whole new level of personal power or not if you don't try. So what would it be like for you to set up an experiment for one week, for two weeks, maybe this whole month, and just simply ask how do I run this experiment in such a way that I don't need to compromise anymore and I can actually start to open myself up to a higher level of personal power? So I want you to come up with your own experiment. because it's your journey. It's your soul. Your soul will deliver you exactly what you need to know to do. But in addition to that, I will give you one exercise. And I want you to either buy a calendar that you can cross off physically every day, or I want you to put this in your phone, on your work calendar, whatever it is. that you are going to keep a record for the next 30 days that you are going to wake up and give yourself radical self-love. And I want you to feel if you have children, if you have a spouse, you have parents, whoever it is, if you have a guru, something, maybe just your higher self, your soul, your guides, your angels. Whoever it is that you know loves you so unconditionally, it's likely best to do this with angels or with children, especially if they're young and they haven't learned their adolescent teenage despondency. I want you to wake up in the morning and not just give them love. I want you to feel yourself receiving the love that they have for you. I want you to then tap into the love that your higher self, your soul, your true essence has for you. So this is all about receiving love. And then finally I want you to open up the channel of receiving the divine love from your divine self or from source from God from the universe from whatever you want to call it. And I want you to feel the three subtle differences in love. And once you felt that divine love that source love I want you yourself give that to you. Fill your entire body with that love. Feel it tingling, feel it aching, feel it moving things out of your body and then send that to very important people in your life that you need to learn how to choose your power, your love and your truth and ultimately how to maximize the energy you give to your project and minimize the drainage or the leakage that you give to them or that you allow them to take from you. So what you're doing is you're firstly choosing to love yourself, maximize yourself, grow yourself in that power. And from that place of infinite power connection to the universe, you can send them love. But that doesn't mean that you need to go and save them. It doesn't mean that you need to compromise your entire life to go and do what they need you to do now. Give them back. their power. this love that you're giving them give them back their power to make the decisions they need to make for their own life. and be okay with the concept that perhaps they will never make that decision. Perhaps they will never grow beyond the point that they are right now. And so how do you move beyond that? do you detach from that and allow that person to live their own life? And here is another point around compromise. If it becomes apparent to you that that person is not moving beyond where they need to go, you need to make your own choices about what your path is with them. If that's OK for you and you can compartmentalize that, and continue on your growth journey irrespective of where they're great. You just need to detach from the expectation that you have around whatever it is that they do. If, it is a problem for you, then the first step would obviously be to communicate that very clearly and directly, not placing blame on the other, but simply stating in ways in in the kinds of communication that says this is what I am looking to cultivate in my life. This is where I am looking to align to. ⁓ This is what I'm wanting to open up into at this point in time. And I am only accepting this. This is now a non-negotiable for me. I would like to welcome your feedback on that. And I'm willing to open up a door for you. I'm willing to allow you to grow here with me. But I'm also not willing to wait for 20 years to see that growth. And you might have an understanding of how long you are available to wait or to to hold that door ajar but let me be very clear you are waiting in the higher room you do not wait down in the misery with the other person while they decide what they're going to do you go on you have the courage to grow to be great to be fierce to be fantastic and it is your growth beyond yourself in this course and each day you are growing beyond yourself and beyond yourself and beyond yourself it is your growth that acts as the inspiration to that other person as to whether they follow you or not it is not your pulling it is not your pushing it is not your nagging it is not your constant narration of how much you suffer because they don't come with you. Because that's not growth. Your growth here is saying I don't compromise on my dream any longer. And my dream is mine. And I came into this world to do this. I don't have time to waste on being small. I've been small. I know how that feels and I know what results that gets. So it's now time for me to rise up. I've put good money on the table for my success. No one else did that. I did. I stepped up for my dream. I stepped up for my purpose. And as God as my witness, I will become the God, the goddess, the master being of light that I am because I am a warrior. And warriors don't fancy apathy over action. They don't fancy lack over abundance. They exercise their rights to lead and lead with light and lead fiercely. How are you going to lead the world into this new paradigm, into this new way of being? If you keep on clinging on to the old 3D codependent lack ways of running a relationship between two people or between two things, your role is no longer to compromise, but to say, I claim my abundance and anyone who believes that I should be smaller than I am or anyone who requires me to be smaller than I am in order to be in my life will slowly and surely although lovingly be let go off because I don't support that anymore. I don't support my own smallness and I don't therefore support anyone who believes that I must be small in order to exist in their field. I am moving vortexes. I'm moving orbits. I am here. Repeat this with me. I am here in this course, in this world. I am here right now listening to this audio to become the person I have always been destined to become in order to enact and achieve and embody the passions and the purpose that I have come here to ground into this earth in a big impactful way. my dreams my accomplishments my success already is my success is inevitable because it's divine and my purpose is aligned to my divine will to my divine self to the universe and the universe is conspiring in every single way to help me become the person i need to be in order to meet that achievement in a future time that already is. I can feel it. I can see it. I know it's already there. That's why I have this passion. That's why I have this vision. That's why I have this inkling for what it is that I'm here to do because it already exists. I am here to learn how to be the person I need to be in order to lay claim to that dream. Now, if I keep compromising on myself and my capacities to become that person. Although that person can be me if I don't actually make decisions to be that person, it's not inevitable. for me to take. steps away from that but it is a requirement for me to choose because the universe has to act within my free will. And so let me be very clear with the universe now. I need to ask for support around certain things. So pause the video. What do you need support around? Who do you need help in laying very clear guidelines for yourself around? Who do you need to stop compromising with? What do you need to stop compromising on? What do you need to fill yourself? Go back to that one word. What do you now need help in cultivating in yourself, in your life? in your business. that causes you right now because of this absence, because of the lack of this thing within you, what do you need help with creating in your life and yourself and your business that you could ask the universe for support and guidance on? And then what other kinds of support do you need right now? So I want you to then write a prayer, write a request to the universe on requesting support on these kinds of things. And also another letter to say what you are actually casting away and getting rid of. And as you all know, I love the concept of burning this kind of stuff. Go back to the forgiveness modules and use the techniques and the tools in there. Whatever it needs to be released, let it go. You have now come to another level of expansion of your consciousness that has seen this kind of a pattern that has come to a conclusion that there's another level of growth here. So congratulate yourselves on that. And then finally I want you to really make a courageous act whether it be a written or video post in the Facebook group to lay claim to what you are energizing and to let go of any ways in which you have ever been smaller than what you are. And I want you to share this with your brothers and sisters about how you are now asking for their support, their feedback, their advice, but also just their love on helping you to grow into another level of yourself. These are all really, really, really powerful ways to put energy into your expansion. and not into your contraction. Because here's the thing, remember this, you are always putting energy into your expansion or your contraction. You may not be aware of which one you're doing previously, but you are now and so you must choose. Choose your expansion my darling because you were not here to be contracted, you were not here to be small. This might have been a difficult one for you. It might require a lot of contemplation and a lot of thinking. So take your time, listen as many times as you need, and really do the exercises that I've suggested. And check out the meditations and of course do the exercises. It's all designed to up earth this and to really get you into a higher state. of self and a deeper level of your passion and the foundation of that power. I love you all so much. Go and be great. I believe in you. Kisses. Bye.