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Healthy & Redeemed _ Renewing Your Mind with Healthy Thoughts - Part 3 · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

• 0:24
  Welcome to the Healthy and Redeemed podcast hosted by Healy
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  Eicherd. Healy is a licensed counselor
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  with a passion for helping Christians live healthier lives
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  emotionally and spiritually. Each episode combines the truth
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  of God's Word with practical advice to help you in your
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  everyday life. Whether you want to grow
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  emotionally, strengthen your faith, or handles life
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  challenges with more peace, this podcast is for you.
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  We're so glad you joined us. Let's get started.
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  To God be the glory. Hi, I'm Healy, I'm your host of
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  the Healthy and Redeemed podcast.
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  Thank you so much for being here today.
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  I'm excited to get started. This is Part 3 of Renewing Your
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  Mind. Hopefully you've listened to
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  Part 1 and Part 2 because this might not make sense, but maybe
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  it will. But as you'll find, my podcast
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  does kind of build on each other.
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  So if sometimes I'm referencing something you may not totally
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  understand, you might just check back to a previous episode.
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  So in our first episode, we I kind of gave the biblical
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  foundation of why it's important to change your thoughts and why
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  it's important to have healthy thoughts.
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  And we talked a little bit about cognitive behavioral therapy and
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  what that looks like. And the last episode, Part 2, we
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  talked about the cognitive behavioral triangle.
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  We talked about neural pathways and automatic negative thoughts.
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  And so today we're going to talk specifically about replacement
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  thoughts, The reason why it's so important to replace our
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  thoughts. I think I mentioned this last
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  episode is like, we don't want to just push them out of our
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  mind or think something happy. We want to actually address what
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  the thought is and so that we can correct it and transform it
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  to make it healthy. So replacement thoughts are
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  basically statements that we put in place of the negative
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  thoughts and our replacement thoughts need to be healthy.
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  The reason that we need to replace our negative thoughts.
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  Negative thoughts end up depressing us.
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  They keep us stuck, they remove our motivation, and they
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  physically just aren't good for our brains.
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  The negative thinking is not godly thinking, and that's why I
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  believe that God is telling us through His Word that we are to
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  get our thinking right. So we know we need to replace
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  our negative thoughts with a healthy thought.
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  So what is a healthy thought? A good way to analyze if your
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  thinking is healthy is to ask yourself these four questions
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  and if it, if you can answer yes to all of them, that means it's
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  a healthy thought. So one is, is it truthful?
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  2 is is it encouraging? 3, is it helpful?
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  And four, is it positively phrased.
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  So that's the that's the criteria truthful, encouraging,
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  helpful and positively phrased. So again, you I found this
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  criteria an easy way to remember and, and it actually is helpful
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  for clients. Remember that healthy thoughts
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  create these healthy neural pathways in our brains.
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  And this is going to change our emotions for the better and help
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  us create a healthier outlook on life.
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  So let's take a little bit deeper.
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  Look at these four questions. So let's look at is it truthful?
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  I believe one of the most important things that we can
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  think are true thoughts. Most of the thoughts that we
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  think that are unhealthy are normally not true.
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  We aren't just going to replace our negative thoughts with
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  positive ones. We are going to make sure our
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  thoughts are true. So if we are disappointed
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  because we didn't get to do something, we don't just say
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  it's OK, it's fine. We can acknowledge that we're
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  disappointed and say I am disappointed.
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  We can change our thought into how terrible it is that we
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  didn't get to do something to just acknowledging our feeling.
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  It is disappointing that I don't get to do that.
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  But hopefully I can find something else to do or let me
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  look for something else to do. So we want to make sure our
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  thoughts are truthful and we don't ever want to deny truth.
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  That's pretty biblical, right? Yes.
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  OK. The second one, is it
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  encouraging? It's not healthy to think
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  discouraging thoughts. It is important that we have
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  thoughts that encourage us, not thoughts that condemn us.
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  Again, if you're feeling condemned by your thoughts, that
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  is really going to keep you stuck.
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  So if you have a statement about yourself that like I am fat,
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  this statement does not motivate us, right?
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  It is not an encouraging statement.
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  Would you say that to a friend? No, that's not how you encourage
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  a friend, right? Even if you want them to go to
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  the gym and you want them to be healthy and all these things,
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  you don't say you are fat. You would think of a better way
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  to say that. Something that is more
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  encouraging to them. Again, we don't want to deny
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  truth, but there is a more encouraging way to say things
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  and we want to be talking that way to ourselves.
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  The next criteria is, is it helpful?
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  Does the statement? Does the thought actually help
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  you or motivate you in some way to do better?
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  We want to make sure that the thought is useful for us.
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  Unhealthy thoughts again will keep us stuck and definitely
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  unmotivated. And lastly, we want to make sure
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  that our statement or our thought is positive or
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  positively phrased. Most of the time if you get
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  through the 1st 3 criteria, it will be positive, but we want to
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  make sure that it's positively phrased.
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  So instead of saying something like if I have the negative
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  thought I am dumb, I would not necessarily replace it with I am
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  not dumb, right? Because why?
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  That's got the whole entire sentence except not in our
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  thought. So we really have to replace it
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  with something like I am wise or I have the ability to be wise or
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  I've made a lot of wise decisions in my life.
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  So that's really important to make sure that we are rephrasing
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  in a way that is positively phrased.
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  What are some negative thoughts that you wrote down from last
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  week? Did you have some?
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  I imagine you had a few because otherwise you probably wouldn't
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  be listening to this episode, right?
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  So we've talked a lot about the ones that I have thought before
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  and we've even had some replacement thoughts, I think.
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  But let's do one that's pretty common for some people.
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  I hate my body. Let's go through the criteria
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  and see if that is a healthy thought.
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  Is that true? We could argue yes, it's true,
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  you do hate your body. If someone is thinking that, is
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  it encouraging? What would you say to that?
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  Is that a yes or a no? Is it encouraging?
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  No, and I would say it's not encouraging because it doesn't
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  bring about a positive feeling. It brings a feeling of
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  hopelessness or sadness or anger at God that He made your body
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  the way He made it. Is the statement helpful?
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  I hate my body. Is that helpful in any way?
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  Some might argue it could be helpful in the fact it might
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  motivate you to do something, but I would argue differently.
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  I don't think discouraging statements motivate us, I just
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  don't. I have not seen it before.
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  And if it does motivate you, it's for a short amount of time.
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  It's not a sustained motivation. And is it positive?
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  Is it positively phrased? I would say with the word hate
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  in there, it is not positively phrased.
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  What might be a positive replacement statement for that I
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  hate my body. A replacement statement might be
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  I am made in the image of God. And I think you could even maybe
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  I don't really like the word hate.
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  So I would probably even change that if you're going to keep
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  that statement because sometimes I think it's OK, especially
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  since that's true that you could keep that even though it doesn't
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  meet any of the other criteria of I hate my body.
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  But maybe I'm, I don't like my body.
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  And even though that's not a great statement, we could keep
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  that if we add but to the end, like I don't like my body, but I
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  know I'm made in the image of God or I don't like my body, but
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  I know that I can work to love it.
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  So this would be one that I would work with on a client to
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  go, OK, what works for you? I might ask them, what would you
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  tell a friend that said that and then take the statement that
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  they say and use it or kind of morph it into something that
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  works for them. Because here's the thing with
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  replacement thoughts, you really have to say something that fits
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  well with you. Especially as women, we go
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  through the phase where we don't like parts of our self.
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  And I think that's true, especially when we're young.
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  And AS I personally think as we get older, we do just learn to
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  accept certain things about ourself.
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  It's not going to change, especially if you're not going
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  to do surgery or something. But learning how like this is my
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  body. This is what God gave me.
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  It's not a surprise to him. He intentionally made me the way
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  that he made me. Now if I'm not healthy
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  physically, then that is something that I can change.
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  But if I don't like the way my ears are shaped or the longness
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  of my toes, or, you know, the shortness of my legs, whatever
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  it is, that's not something necessarily you're going to
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  change by going to the gym or something like that.
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  Like God gave you your body, and learning to love what he gave, I
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  think brings honor to him. So we need to have a replacement
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  statement that is encouraging to us, is true and bring some glory
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  and that is what a healthy thought does.
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  OK, let's take a negative thought like I make bad
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  decisions. Probably the statement most
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  clients say is I always make bad decisions.
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  So we would ask ourselves, is that true?
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  The answer will probably be no. Now I make bad decisions.
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  That answer might be yes, but that actually is true of
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  everyone. So, but anyway, so that could be
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  true. Is it encouraging?
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  No. Is it helpful?
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  No. Again, because it is not
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  encouraging or helpful. That statement I make bad
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  decisions will probably keep us stuck where we do anything we
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  can to avoid making a decision because because we think we make
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  bad ones. So it's really important to have
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  a replacement thought for that one.
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  So again, if you want to use that statement, you can.
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  I make bad decisions, but everyone makes bad decisions
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  sometimes. I personally prefer and now I
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  usually use the but ones when the client can't think of
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  anything else to replace it with.
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  But normally as we work through things, they get better at this.
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  But I would say I have made good decisions before.
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  I make good decisions. Now that's a good replacement
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  statement because it is truthful, it's encouraging, it's
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  helpful, and normally it's important because people do,
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  we're not an always or never kind of people.
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  Like yes, we make bad decisions, but we also make good ones,
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  right? If we just think all the time
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  that we make bad decisions, then yet that's going to hinder us in
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  life. So one more let's talk about I'm
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  a bad mom. This is a thought that comes in
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  my office a lot. A lot of moms think they're bad
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  moms. Now, honestly, I think deep down
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  they know they're not because the first question is, is that
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  truthful? And you know, they hesitate and,
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  but ultimately we can get to, it's not truthful.
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  Normally when we are evaluating our skill, especially as a
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  parent, I normally before I even go down this thought evaluation
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  process, you know, analyzing, is it truthful?
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  Is it helpful? Is it encouraging?
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  I normally ask what is the definition of a good mom and let
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  them have a criteria for a good mom.
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  What is a good mom look like? And normally they'll make out
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  that list and then we can really analyze am I am IA bad mom?
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  And normally the answer then is no, because they actually meet
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  their own criteria of a good mom.
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  And that doesn't mean we're a good mom every day of our life.
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  I mean, we have moments of being excellent moms and we have
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  moments of being not so excellent, right?
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  It's important to just understand that's part of being
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  a person. Like we are good and we're not
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  so good and we make good decisions.
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  We make bad decisions. Sometimes we're, you know, on
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  top of our mental healthiness and sometimes we're not.
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  So just recognizing that about ourselves.
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  We're not going to be 100% anything.
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  Anytime we say we're not good enough or things like I'm, I'm a
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  bad Christian or you know, something where we're evaluating
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  ourselves, it's best to kind of start with the list of what does
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  good enough mean? What, how would I even meet that
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  criteria? Or how does a regular person
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  meet the criteria of being good enough, a good enough mom or a
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  good enough Christian? What's that criteria as you make
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  out that list? Then you, you actually have
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  something to evaluate yourself against because otherwise this
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  concept of a good enough mom, a good mom, good enough Christian,
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  good Christian, like that's just hard to, it's so vague that it's
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  hard to measure yourself up. Like then it's just your own
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  personal opinion. Like, Oh yeah, I'm good.
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  Oh yeah, I'm bad. So anyway, and I'm, I believe
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  that that just fluctuates all the time on a continuum.
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  Some moments we're like perfect and other moments we're not so
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  great. So OK, so after we take the
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  negative thought, we evaluate it based on that criteria.
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  Truthful, encouraging, helpful, positively phrased, and we
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  identify a healthy thought replacement.
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  OK, so in my Changing Your Feelings book, I use the example
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  of No one likes me. And we evaluated that, found
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  that it's not true, it's not encouraging, it's not helpful,
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  it's not positively phrased. And then we change that to
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  something like, there are many people who actually love me, and
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  this is where feelings can get in the way that you might feel
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  like nobody loves you. Our feelings are very deceptive
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  and they can lead us astray. So it's very important that
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  we're always guided by truth. Our thoughts should be guided by
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  truth, not by our emotions. So it's fine to say I don't feel
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  loved, but it's harmful to us if we say I'm not loved because
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  that's not true. You are loved and even if there
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  wasn't one person on earth that loved you, God loves you and
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  Jesus died on the cross for you out of his love for you.
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  I do know though that there are people that love you.
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  If you were to think no one loves me, that there are people
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  on earth that love you and you. If you really feel like there is
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  nobody, then I would say you're probably not getting out enough
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  and sharing yourself with people so they have an opportunity to
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  love you. So that's what your homework is
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  going to be for this week is to take that negative thought list
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  that you created and create some healthy replacement thoughts.
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  Now, if you want to know if they are good thoughts first, you can
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  just note, do they resonate with you?
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  Do you like them? Do they feel encouraging to you
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  because your replacement thought might be different than someone
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  else's and that's OK. If you want an outside opinion
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  and want my thoughts on it, you can definitely send those to me.
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  There's a text link in the show notes and you can just send me a
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  quick text and let me know if what I think about it and I'm
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  happy to share that with you. So the last part that is helpful
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  as you transform your thoughts is to provide proof.
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  When you take your negative thought, the negative thoughts
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  going to pop into your mind and you're going to replace it with
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  the healthy thought. What is going to happen?
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  I promise this is going to happen.
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  What's going to happen is your mind is going to try to argue
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  you out of your healthy replacement thought.
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  OK, so for example, if the automatic negative thought that
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  comes into my mind is I am dumb and I replace it with I am smart
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  my brain because it wants to go down that strong neural pathway,
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  it's going to say no, you're dumb and here's why.
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  And it's going to give me some reasons why I'm dumb to prove my
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  case. I need to have something to back
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  me up that I'm actually smart, right?
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  So I'm going to think of specific examples in my life
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  that show that I am smart, OK, or things that I'm doing now.
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  So I'm smart because I can hold a job.
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  I am smart because I work hard. I am smart because I have made
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  this decision and this decision and this decision.
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  I'm smart because I've graduated high school.
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  I'm smart because I've graduated college.
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  I'm smart because I am raising my kids well.
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  I'm making good decisions regarding them.
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  Now, again, we're not doing that 100% of the time because
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  nobody's smart 100% of the time, but I do have as many examples
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  of being smart as I do of being dumb.
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  So it's really important that we for our replacement statements
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  that we have on the side of those replacement statement
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  thoughts that we have some proof of that being true.
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  OK, so if I have if my negative thought is I'm ugly, my
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  replacement thought is I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.
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  I could even go as far to say I'm beautiful and what's my
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  proof? Well, my husband says I'm
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  beautiful. God believes I'm beautiful.
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  I made in his image after all. And maybe thinking of any
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  specific situations that someone has said something kind in that
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  regard. Now I'm I'm not a person that
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  says I'm beautiful because I don't necessarily believe that
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  is true. But do I have an inner beauty
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  that is more important than that?
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  Yes. I mean, that's what I work on.
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  That's what I want to be working on.
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  So my replacement statement would be something along that
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  line. But honestly, my replacement
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  statement to that is it doesn't really matter what I look like.
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  I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, and then that makes me
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  happy and that I can accept a lot of things about myself.
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  Not everything, because some things I'm working on and want
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  to change, but I can accept at a higher, more general level of
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  who I am that I've been made in God's image and He loves me and
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  I don't have to be perfect for Him to love me.
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  Some really important things to remember.
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  Then negative thoughts O automatically into our mind.
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  It doesn't mean that it really doesn't mean anything.
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  It's just a normal part of who we are.
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  But if we want to create and have ourselves thinking
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  healthier, then we need to start replacing those thoughts with
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  something that is healthy. It's going to be kind of hard at
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  first, but remember we're building new neural pathways so
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  that we can function better, so that we can think differently.
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  And the more we practice, the better and stronger these
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  pathways are going to get. And this is what I have found
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  when you actually do this, it'll be a lot of work at first, but
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  after a while, your brain will actually take over and do it for
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  you. And you'll be really like
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  surprised one day when you like a negative thought pops into
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  your mind and then suddenly you just change it and it's very
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  easy. This is what God wants us to do.
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  So he's definitely going to help you.
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  Now it, it is hard, but God will help you.
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  And I think as you work on these healthy thoughts, you were going
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  to be amazed at how different your outlook on life is, how
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  your gratitude will grow, how you'll look for the positive in
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  things, how you'll look for the truth in things, how you'll try
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  to be encouraging to yourself. And that is always a good
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  question to ask yourself when you notice a possible negative
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  thought that have popped into your mind is, would I say that
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  to a friend? And if the answer is no, then
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  you know quickly that it's not a healthy thought and you need to
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  transform it into something that's better and that's going
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  to work for you. I know that you can do it.
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  And with a little prayer and a little perseverance, you are
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  going to be able to do it. And I am excited about that.
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  Once you practice these techniques for several weeks, I
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  would love if you would report back to me small or big changes
• 25:42
  that have happened because of that.
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  So you can go to my website and do a contact me form or in the
• 25:50
  show notes, there's a place that says text me.
• 25:53
  You can reach out and let me know.
• 25:55
  Has this episode been helpful and have you put some things
• 26:00
  into practice and what changes have you seen?
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  Again, it's going to take a little bit of time and it's
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  going to be a little hard, but I promise if you'll push through,
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  you will get to where you want to be.
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  And I hope that's a place filled with joy, with a worldview that
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  is ingratitude and that just sees the blessings all around
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  you. And that is a wonderful place to
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  be. I thank you for joining me
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  today. Let's go out this week and live
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  a life that is healthy and redeemed, reflecting Jesus
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  Christ in all that we do. Thanks again for joining me.
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  Lord willing, I'll see you next time.
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  Thank you for listening. The information provided is to
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  be used as a resource. If you have a serious mental
• 27:02
  issue, we would encourage you to contact the therapist in your
• 27:05
  state.