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Why narcissists dont want you to succeed · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about why narcissistic people rarely ever
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  root for you, but why they don't ever just cheer you on and root
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  for your success if you're new here.
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  My name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code boom.
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  So yes, absolutely yes, yes, yes, yes.
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  Narcissistic people, the narcissist in your life, toxic
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  person in your life, whoever you know, they tend to be the
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  biggest haters. Let's just say it.
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  Let's just get it out there and open.
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  The narcissist in your life is a hater, The one of the biggest
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  haters you're probably ever going to encounter in your life.
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  They might seem like they're root for you.
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  When we first got together, they were the most.
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  They rooted for me, they admired me.
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  They just wanted me to be the best that I could be.
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  But now they everything. They never clap for me.
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  They ruined all my celebrations. They always make excuses for why
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  I am successful and they haven't made it as far.
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  There's always something going on.
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  I don't feel supported in this relationship because the
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  narcissist in your life, toxic person in your life is your
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  biggest hater. Narcissist compete with you.
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  That's what they do. Narcissistic, toxic people
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  compete with you on a daily basis.
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  They just do y'all lifeless, damn it.
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  It can be more than daily. It can be life, a life, life
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  basis. Lifely.
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  Lifely. Is that the word lifely?
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  Probably not, you know, but it's for the entirety of your
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  lifetime they will compete with you and not root for you.
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  That's the part of that's that's the difficult part about being a
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  narcissistic person or dealing with a narcissistic person
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  because that's what they'll do. They'll feign like they root
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  your own, they in at at the beginning of the relationship.
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  They might act or be actually be your biggest supporter.
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  They root for you. But then as success starts the
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  you know, as you as you started to get a a head of steam and you
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  started to become a little bit more successful, they started
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  hating on you. They start pulling you back
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  because they compete with you yo.
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  You are the narcissist in your life, toxic person in your life,
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  whatever you know is your biggest competitor.
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  They look at you as competition. This is they they might have
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  started off as your significant other, but now they are your
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  significant competition. They compete with you.
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  Everybody in the life of a narcissist is their competition,
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  because everybody in the in the life of a narcissist has the
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  ability to uniquely make their narcissist feel insecure in some
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  way, shape or form. But narcissistic people tend not
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  to want to show our insecurities.
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  So you know what we do? We project this facade of
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  confidence, you know, the illusion, the illusion that we
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  are super, extremely confident people in some way, shape or
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  form. We want people to think that we
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  are confident. You know, we want the people to
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  think that we have it all, that we have it, we have it all
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  figured out, we have all our stuff together, right?
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  That's what we want. That's what we want people to
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  think. But we know that that's rarely
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  the truth of dealing with a narcissistic person.
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  They might have their stuff together financially or on the
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  outside, but the inside is constant, the inside is constant
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  turmoil and telling ourselves that we are not doing enough,
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  that we haven't achieved enough, that we haven't became enough
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  just yet, right. That's what the constant inner
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  turmoil, turmoil, turmoil does to narcissistic people.
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  So if we are have this inner turmoil we projected out
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  outwardly towards you. So in order to make ourselves
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  feel better, we need to somehow, someway, shape or form put you
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  down or put ourselves above you. You know, they even saw making
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  excuses for why you are where you are and they are not what
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  they are. You know, even if they're.
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  Yeah, and this is going to sound stupid and this is going to
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  sound, I know it's going to sound ridiculous and you know,
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  it sounds stupid. But even if that narcissistic
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  person has a certain level of external success, they will
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  still compete with you. And I know what people are going
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  to say, Well, Lee, some competition is healthy
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  competition. Yes.
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  There is no such thing as healthy competition amongst
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  partners, amongst siblings, amongst, amongst everybody,
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  right? Friends, whatever.
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  There's healthy competition. But very rarely do Narcissists,
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  you know, participate in a healthy form of competition.
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  They're trying to hold you back. They're trying to make you feel.
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  They're trying to make you feel inconsiderate.
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  They're trying. They're trying to hurt your
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  feelings. They're trying to make you feel
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  a certain type of way. You know, they just are.
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  This is what this is part of it, you know, this is part of the
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  mindset. They compete with you.
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  And if I'm competing with you, I always want to make myself feel
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  superior. I always want to find my own way
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  to win in in, you know, in these situations.
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  That's my mindset. I need to find a way to win.
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  I have to win in every. I have to win in every single
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  situation. I have to.
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  I have to position, at least position myself as the victor,
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  You know, I I have to at least make it look like I'm winning.
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  I got to at least posture like I have a victory going on, You
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  know, I got to at least act like it.
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  Because if I don't act like it, I don't feel it, you know?
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  So I have to put you down. And yeah, again, I know it
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  sounds ignorant because because even if I'm successful, because
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  I know my success is not going to feel like enough for me, I
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  still need to compete. You know, because I internally
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  most narcissists are unhappy with themselves, with others.
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  We are unhappy like we we don't think that anything that we do
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  is enough, right. Because that's why we're always
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  after something. That's why we're always it seems
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  like we're always after more. You have enough, Lee.
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  No I don't. Yeah, I can.
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  There's always another level. You know, just like in my mind.
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  Like it like matter of fact in in this this is this is this not
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  a program. It's a website I use to help my
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  on my YouTube channel. It's called Vid IQ right.
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  It just helps out with like video ideas and people.
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  You know people that are in the same niche as you.
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  You can, you can put the you can put them on you can put all of
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  them on the same page. You can put it like you can, you
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  can put together a competitors tab on Vid IQ so you can see
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  everybody who's making videos within your niche, how many
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  followers they got, how many videos they posted.
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  Like it's literally called competitors.
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  So I compete every day. I look at that like what my
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  competitors doing, you know, even I'm not trying to pull, I'm
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  not trying to put people down. Yeah, you see, because I am in
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  therapy. I've been working on myself for
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  over six years now. I've been putting in work in
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  psychotherapy for over six years.
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  So there's a part of me that I feel I feel good about in this
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  space. Runners, I don't need to compete
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  with people on that level. I compete.
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  It's like healthy competition for me.
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  But I can see how other people would do.
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  I would see somebody have a successful video, right?
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  And I can do that video better till they will try to bring the
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  other person down. They are trying to like there's
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  some other self award narcissists on here or out there
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  in in the real world. They compete with me but they're
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  trying to simultaneously bash my name at the same time.
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  You'd never rarely ever hear me. I was saying I said never.
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  I've done it before. Rarely ever hear me bring up
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  somebody else's name and just like don't follow this person.
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  There's people who literally would just tell you in the video
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  I wouldn't follow Lee Hammer. He wasn't talking about you
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  know. No no.
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  Follow me and say they will hate they your biggest haters now
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  like he and y'all you never hear me say don't follow this person.
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  They're a liar they're a cheater Never hear me say that.
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  I just like be careful who you follow you know that's what you
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  should be careful who you follow even even following me you know
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  I know it's just making it seem like I'm on the outside looking
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  into this space. Let narcissistic people compete
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  and they try to pull you down. You know they're like if we're
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  we're on the same rope, right? If you're on the same rope of
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  the as that narcissist. If y'all both climbing the same
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  rope because y'all are siblings or partners or whatever, or
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  significant others y'all climbing that same bro but you
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  were ahead of them instead of just like waiting to instead of
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  like timing it together so y'all can climb together.
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  They'll start grabbing your body parts and pushing you down so
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  they can surpass you or or at least feel like they surpassed
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  you in some way, shape or form. That's how a lot of narcissists
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  do, you know that's how a lot of narcissists do it.
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  It really, really is. So that's why I tell people
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  like, this is the space that you fall into when you're dealing
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  with an narcissistic person. You're going to have a
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  competitor that tries to put you down, that that ruins your
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  success. Your like any that ruins
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  celebrations of your success because they're jealous.
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  That competition does stem from a place of jealousy as well.
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  They'll be jealous of you, you know, They will absolutely be
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  jealous of you. And that like.
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  And that jealousy drives them crazy.
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  You know, I could be doing more. Like you will have a splash of
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  success and they'll be like I should be.
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  I should be doing more. That's the entitlement.
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  Makes them feel like they deserve more just because they
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  are themselves. Like I they haven't put any type
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  of extra work in. They haven't worked on
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  themselves. They haven't done anything else.
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  But they deserve more, right? They'll tell you I deserve more.
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  I feel like I deserve more. I should be higher in this
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  world. But just entitlement, a sense of
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  entitlement. Delusions of grandeur.
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  I'm supposed to be successful just because I am me, not
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  because I've earned it. I am me.
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  So I I am me. So I deserve success.
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  That's the mindset that you, a lot of narcissists will fall
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  into. I am me.
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  So I deserve success. And I'm better than you.
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  So I deserve success. Even if I hadn't put the work
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  in, even even if I don't don't have the qualifications, even if
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  I don't have the education. I was always try to compete with
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  you, you know? Yeah, you got a promotion at
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  your job, but your job is you sit down in the office all day.
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  I'm out there working on my hands.
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  My job is more important than yours.
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  What we We commingle funds like we were married.
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  We are partners. Like, what the hell?
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  Why does it matter what my job does?
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  Like every dollar that I make goes into our joint account.
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  We spend it together, we grind together.
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  Well, I'm just saying my job is I I I work with my hands and I'm
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  on my feet all day. So you can't get in there and
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  complain about my job is better. I just, I'm just, you know, mine
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  and I don't have to go to school to, you know, a fancy degree to
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  do my job. You had to.
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  So my job even cares about me. But they don't even have to
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  stand. They don't even have to, you
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  know, they don't make me have to do anything.
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  I can do anything I want to do here.
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  What? And that's the mindset that some
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  narcissistic people will have in order to make, to build
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  themselves up, to make themselves feel like they're
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  doing better with a lot, with their lives and with themselves.
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  That's how it goes right there. I know it.
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  Again, I know how it sounds. This is me acknowledging that.
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  I know it sounds dumb, but that's what goes on in the mind
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  of a lot of narcissistic people. And I was one of them.
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  You know, I'm not. I'm not trying to make it seem
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  like, oh, I'm just the best narcissist.
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  I'm just a hill. No, I'm also a diagnosed
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  narcissist. I know how tough it is.
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  You know, that's why I don't try to come down on a lot of other
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  narcissists. But yeah, sometimes the critique
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  is deserved. You know, sometimes the critique
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  is absolutely deserved. Narcissistic abuse isn't a
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  thing. Show me the narcissists that are
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  not being abusive. They don't mean Julia.
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  That's a whole nother topic. Y'all that's a whole nother
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  dynamic that we can slide into in another video.
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  But y'all. I'm super thankful for y'all and
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  I'm glad y'all are here. Be safe.
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  Take care of yourselves. And you know you know tomorrow
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  is Valentine's Day, so Valentine's Day special video
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  will be coming out tomorrow. Y'all be safe.
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  Take care of yourselves. And of course, of course, of
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  course it's with him. This is peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:40
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:42
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 11:45
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 11:47
  fault on Amazon, so check that out.
• 11:49
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 11:51
  video. Peace.