Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - I Feel So Bank-Like

Transcript

Bonus IMPROV - I Feel So Bank-Like · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome, listeners, to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:18
  Sinus.
• 0:20
  We've got a very special treat for you today.
• 0:23
  We've got a little bit of bonus improv.
• 0:30
  Joe can we get a suggestion
• 0:32
  your suggestion is
• 0:35
  financial
• 0:36
  that makes me think
• 0:41
  my brother Jake and I
• 0:43
  when we were little kids
• 0:44
  we used to like play
• 0:46
  like we had a business
• 0:48
  we used to pretend
• 0:51
  like we had a bank
• 0:52
  and
• 0:53
  I
• 0:55
  the
• 0:57
  the only like i was probably eight and he might have been five um and i didn't know very many
• 1:08
  bank words but i knew the word financial so i my go-to thing as the boss of the bank would be like
• 1:15
  jake where are kathy's financials
• 1:19
  kathy's financials is still lore and my family that's cute yeah i like that a lot
• 1:26
  I have great memories of the bank
• 1:29
  like being a kid
• 1:30
  the times my dad didn't leave me in the car
• 1:32
  and I would come in
• 1:33
  the smell of the bank is like etched into my memory
• 1:37
  like all the triplicate paper and stuff
• 1:39
  I loved it I love going inside the bank
• 1:41
  and um
• 1:43
  the PO box
• 1:44
  he had like a PO box
• 1:46
  I loved being at the post office because that's where it was
• 1:49
  little keys
• 1:50
  did the teller have like a little glass jar
• 1:53
  of lollipops
• 1:54
  I have no memory of treats
• 1:56
  I don't either actually
• 1:58
  That was a haircut thing for me
• 2:01
  The great clips that
• 2:04
  Parents would take me to when I was a kid They would always give me a A lollipop shut you up probably No it was at the end if I was good Oh if you were good Okay It was a reward
• 2:15
  So it was still to shut you up, but you were to work for it.
• 2:19
  It was a carrot and stick type great clips, yeah.
• 2:21
  Yeah.
• 2:22
  You know, when you mentioned that you were the boss of the bank when I was a kid, I mentioned
• 2:28
  before we had a really big property, and there was all this crap and just scrap stuff all
• 2:34
  over our property so it was just my dad would just dump it there and me and like some other kids would
• 2:37
  like go in the backyard and see what we could find to play with and there was like full arcadia doors
• 2:41
  like the glass doors and so we'd like set it up and like balance it and to make like cubes for
• 2:48
  like cubicles so like we could like work and so everyone set up a little cubicle for me and then
• 2:52
  like they're like help us with this other one and i was like i can't i'm working now that my cubicle
• 2:57
  is established oh sorry yeah i'm on the clock oh grindstone nose to the grindstone but looking
• 3:02
  back how dangerous is that like any minute that thing could have just dropped and killed us
• 3:07
  yeah that's dangerous it's life baby in the early 90s and mid 90s
• 3:17
  the 2020s arcadia doors anywhere you could get your hands on them oh yeah they were like rice
• 3:26
  and now improv
• 3:32
  Welcome to the bank.
• 3:39
  Christopher, you're going to be a great addition here.
• 3:43
  Okay.
• 3:44
  Thank you.
• 3:45
  Sit down. Here's your cubicle. You like it?
• 3:47
  Oh, I love it. It's a space to call my own.
• 3:49
  Yeah, look, you get a mouse, you get a keyboard, you get a computer. Wow.
• 3:53
  Great.
• 3:54
  Wow, I feel so bank-like.
• 3:57
  You are.
• 3:59
  If you just go ahead and look up, this is really cool.
• 4:01
  is what we call a performance enhancer.
• 4:05
  Oh.
• 4:06
  See, it's a bunch of dangling blades.
• 4:08
  Yeah, no, they look precarious.
• 4:11
  They're very sharp.
• 4:12
  They will kill you Christopher Oh I sorry Can I get a new cube No no we put it there on purpose Yeah Why would you do that When you perform well the blades go up
• 4:25
  If you make an oopsie, they come down.
• 4:28
  But it's okay.
• 4:30
  Because they come down slow.
• 4:32
  This is...
• 4:33
  Well, I didn't...
• 4:36
  They didn't teach me about this in business school, but...
• 4:38
  I guess this is my first real job if this is how it's done in the real world.
• 4:44
  Is this scaring you?
• 4:46
  Well, yeah, a little bit.
• 4:47
  I'm worried, Mr. Johnson.
• 4:50
  I mean, Mr. Jordan.
• 4:52
  I'm sorry.
• 4:52
  Careful.
• 4:53
  Oh, no.
• 4:55
  No.
• 4:56
  Oh, no, no.
• 4:57
  Shoot, I didn't know it was starting already.
• 4:59
  Try not to make a mistake with me in here.
• 5:01
  What if you're not here and I make a mistake?
• 5:05
  I've explained the stakes.
• 5:07
  So it's going to happen no matter what?
• 5:09
  All right.
• 5:09
  Follow me.
• 5:10
  Clearly, you're not ready.
• 5:12
  I'm going to put you into a safer...
• 5:13
  Oh, thank God.
• 5:15
  Okay, come on in here.
• 5:15
  Go ahead and take your shoes off.
• 5:17
  Oh, okay.
• 5:18
  Your socks, too.
• 5:18
  Roll your pants up.
• 5:20
  Hey, pale feet.
• 5:21
  Oh, yeah.
• 5:22
  Sorry.
• 5:23
  Pickleball tan.
• 5:24
  Great.
• 5:25
  Go ahead and put those tootsies in that bowl of water right there.
• 5:29
  Oh, this is kind of nice, actually.
• 5:33
  See that plug?
• 5:35
  Oh, yeah.
• 5:36
  Yeah.
• 5:36
  If you mess up, the GFCI outlet will turn on,
• 5:42
  You will be electrocuted.
• 5:44
  Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 5:45
  Hey, whoa.
• 5:45
  Low volt, low volt.
• 5:49
  This is still pretty high stakes.
• 5:52
  You never been buzzed?
• 5:53
  What?
• 5:54
  I have a pacemaker.
• 5:55
  Oh, say no more.
• 5:58
  Say no more.
• 6:00
  Come with me.
• 6:01
  Okay.
• 6:01
  Come with me.
• 6:02
  Okay.
• 6:02
  All right.
• 6:03
  Go ahead and pop in this cube.
• 6:04
  Nice, huh?
• 6:04
  Oh, this one's nice.
• 6:06
  See this guy behind you?
• 6:08
  Yeah.
• 6:08
  He's got a gun.
• 6:09
  Oh, my God.
• 6:11
  What?
• 6:12
  This can't be what work is.
• 6:16
  This can't be what work is.
• 6:19
  I think that maybe you just did not understand and he has a suppressor on it.
• 6:23
  No one else will hear a thing I not worried about people hearing it In fact if he shoots me I want people to hear it I want people to know what happened to me
• 6:37
  I don't want to die anonymously in this bank.
• 6:40
  All right.
• 6:40
  I'm listening.
• 6:42
  Mr. Jordan?
• 6:43
  Oh, good.
• 6:44
  Yes, you got it right.
• 6:44
  See, you learned.
• 6:45
  I think the threat of those things happening.
• 6:47
  Yeah, well, I'm not going to make that mistake twice.
• 6:51
  Mr. Jordan, can I ask?
• 6:53
  Yeah.
• 6:55
  Why is there a lion pacing back and forth behind you?
• 7:02
  I was just like you once.
• 7:05
  Scared.
• 7:08
  Till I came to work here.
• 7:10
  I used to have a wife.
• 7:13
  Oh no, what happened?
• 7:13
  When I joined the firm, they said, of course you can work together.
• 7:17
  And I was thrilled.
• 7:19
  I cried tears of joy.
• 7:21
  Then I made my first mistake.
• 7:23
  she was mauled to death by the beast you see behind me what the beast i now call a friend
• 7:30
  what wait wait so you actually you learned from this and you oh first i was it was devastated
• 7:39
  hurt crying all the time i kept her head for two weeks that's weird well don't judge how i grieve
• 7:48
  oh sorry it's all right anyway oh shoot uh oh i just heard the the blades they got a little bit
• 7:53
  lower. I'm sorry. I now know to
• 7:55
  not judge how people grieve.
• 7:57
  But that line taught me
• 7:58
  that I don't have to make mistakes.
• 8:01
  I can be perfect.
• 8:03
  And you can be perfect too.
• 8:06
  Okay.
• 8:08
  I mean, if it
• 8:09
  gives me half the confidence and swagger
• 8:11
  that you have.
• 8:13
  Quick question, though.
• 8:16
  Can I bring my
• 8:17
  girlfriend to work?
• 8:21
  Uh, Dean.
• 8:23
  We'll see you next time.