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Bonus: Empowering Neurodiverse Children: Fostering Love, Acceptance, and Community Connection · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: what is it?
• 0:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: The one thing they're looking for in their life is love.
• 0:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They're looking for acceptance, they're looking for security and they have pieces of fear that bubble up as they start to understand that they are different.
• 0:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They start to understand that maybe their mind and their brain processes information differently.
• 0:20
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe they're not as fast on the basketball court.
• 0:23
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe it's harder for them to process how quickly the ball is moving.
• 0:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe they are feeling different because they can't watch the same Disney show that everybody else in class is playing or the same Minecraft game that everybody else is playing.
• 0:41
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe they're too sensitive for that.
• 0:42
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So as they start to realize kids realize that they are different, there's even more opportunity for us to love them, for them to feel safe, for them to feel harmony at home, where they can pull all of these layers of onion, layers of protection down, because these kids that are coming with amazing gifts, they're more sensitive, their brain functions differently, their brain functions faster.
• 1:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Their synapses in their brains are firing.
• 1:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Hi Conscious Parents.
• 1:15
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's Keri here and I am here with a little info about raising our mindful kids.
• 1:19
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I've got some tips and tricks about breaking free of the box and becoming who you are and teaching your kids how to do that along the way.
• 1:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Join us Hi there and welcome back.
• 1:29
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I'm your friendly, conscious parent here, keri, and I'm so excited to have another moment of connection with you.
• 1:35
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Mindful parents, conscious parents, conscious grandparents, anyone raising children and checking in with themselves and their kids today.
• 1:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I am here with another bonus episode.
• 1:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I'm so excited to connect with you again.
• 1:48
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was just getting ready to write my notes today about some of the pieces I wanted to share with you and I had a message from my six-year-old and it was at the top of the page, so apparently she wanted to share it with all of you, and that is love, all love.
• 2:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So her word for last year was love.
• 2:08
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was wanting to share love with everybody.
• 2:11
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was wanting to receive love, and I think this is such a powerful message from our kids to us.
• 2:18
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, love, love is something that your kids feel secure in.
• 2:24
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, loving who they are.
• 2:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: A huge piece of kids who are born today highly sensitive, gifted, spirited, deeply feeling kids is a term Dr Becky with Good Inside loves to use, and neurodiverse is another one.
• 2:41
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, how our brains think and process things differently, twice, exceptional, all of these different labels we use to describe these amazing kids that are coming in.
• 2:50
  Carrie Lingenfelter: When they are coming in and they are noticing that they are different, what is it?
• 2:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: The one thing they're looking for in their life is love.
• 2:57
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They're looking for acceptance, they're looking for security and they have pieces of fear that bubble up as they start to understand that they are different.
• 3:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They start to understand that maybe their mind and their brain processes information differently.
• 3:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe they're not as fast on the basketball court.
• 3:17
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe it's harder for them to process how quickly the ball is moving.
• 3:20
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe they are feeling different because they can't watch the same Disney show that everybody else in class is playing or the same Minecraft game that everybody else is playing.
• 3:35
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe they're too sensitive for that.
• 3:36
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So as they start to realize kids realize that they are different, there's even more opportunity for us to love them, for them to feel safe, for them to feel harmony at home, where they can pull all of these layers of onion, layers of protection down.
• 3:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Because these kids that are coming with amazing gifts, they're more sensitive.
• 4:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Their brain functions differently, their brain functions faster.
• 4:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Their synapses in their brains are firing, like what.
• 4:08
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They can tell you 95 facts about plants and why plants are green.
• 4:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They can tell you what true love looks like.
• 4:17
  Carrie Lingenfelter: They are the best, deepest friends that we know, with the biggest, deepest hearts.
• 4:22
  Carrie Lingenfelter: There are so many gifts that come with these kids as they are trying to learn how to be a human.
• 4:29
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It can be really hard to be a human, right, as soon as a baby is born.
• 4:37
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Oftentimes we take that baby.
• 4:38
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We may wash that baby off, we may take that baby and weigh them and check their APGAR scores, those little scores that tell us like their coloring is good, they have enough oxygen, they're alert, all these little things that we're checking to make sure, okay, this human body is okay.
• 4:50
  Carrie Lingenfelter: But we're not thinking about the process of coming into our human body, our human body coming from the womb, where we were fed and at the perfect temperature, and listening to those little rhythmatic beat of mom's heart.
• 5:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Oh, these perfect pieces, right, this womb, protection, healing place.
• 5:12
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And then we're exposed, yeah, instantly into the world, into this human form that not everybody in the world is as loving, caring, conscious, connected, right?
• 5:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So, these tiny little humans, as they're growing and they're achieving pieces of human development, it can be really, really hard to be a human.
• 5:38
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It can be dang hard to put on your snowsuit, it can be really hard to put your oxygen mask on right First, taking care of yourself, helping you to connect with what you need.
• 5:52
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And so, as we're raising those kids, love is a thing that I would love for you guys and my daughter wants you guys to hear that loving our child for who they are, accepting those pieces of your kids accepting it can be really easy right to say, oh, I love how big my kids heart is.
• 6:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love how, how they connect with me so deeply, how they they love to tell me all of these amazing pieces about sea turtles.
• 6:23
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love how my kid is so into science and the experiments.
• 6:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love how my kid is passionate about basketball and loves to go out there and practice all the time and I connect with him.
• 6:32
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yes, those pieces are easy to love, right?
• 6:36
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Is it as easy to love the piece of the kid screaming because they're putting on a snowsuit and it feels really uncomfortable because, like, the suspenders won't click in right and ah, they just want to scream.
• 6:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Or you're trying to get that little kid to eat their cereal so they can go to school and, man, that kid will not move.
• 6:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: He's like the slowest molasses you've ever seen and you're just trying to get them to get their shoes on so you can get them in the car, or at least carry your shoes to the car, so we can get in the car to go to school.
• 7:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, is it hard?
• 7:06
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Is it as easy to love that piece?
• 7:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Maybe it's hard.
• 7:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, there's a little bit of human in us too, as parents, so sharing the love for all of the moments.
• 7:15
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, there's a piece that bubbles up in us when it's hard to love these pieces of our kids that are more challenging, because don't we all just want a little piece?
• 7:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Don't we all just want to like, get in the car and go in the morning?
• 7:31
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I am not a morning person.
• 7:33
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't actually drink caffeine because it makes me a little bit wired and anxious, so I am not a person that wants to be there coaching my kid into every step of the morning.
• 7:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So mornings are not something I love, right, but I am learning to love it.
• 7:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And here is how, in those moments of challenge when I find that I do not want to love that moment, I'm thinking of some things.
• 7:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Turning on laughter is one, changing that mindset for my kid is two, also changing my mindset.
• 8:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And I'm also looking at connection, because when we can connect with our kids, we can help them.
• 8:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: To reset.
• 8:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: An example this morning I was having a hard time with my kiddo.
• 8:17
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was up till nine o'clock normally in bed, asleep at eight last night and I knew today was gonna be a rough.
• 8:23
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was not up.
• 8:24
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She didn't get up herself like she normally would.
• 8:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I had to go in and wake her up.
• 8:28
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was starting to crash right.
• 8:31
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was starting to get this hat of.
• 8:34
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't want to do what you say.
• 8:37
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Anytime you put a demand on me, I'm going to resist and I'm going to be that stick in a mud.
• 8:41
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You are not going to be able to make that mud watery.
• 8:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't know where I'm going with this metaphor, but she was in this mindset where she was sticking her head in the ground and she was not going to budge.
• 8:52
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So what I did was I found her in her room.
• 8:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I tried to connect with hugs.
• 8:58
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I tried to sense it out.
• 8:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Will she connect with me in a hugging spot?
• 9:01
  Carrie Lingenfelter: No, mm-mm.
• 9:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Hugs weren't going to work.
• 9:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I said I'm here, I would love to give you a hug when you feel ready.
• 9:06
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Did she come to me?
• 9:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: No, mm-mm.
• 9:08
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Those weren't even gonna work.
• 9:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I tried number two change my mindset, right.
• 9:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: My husband was like I need to go.
• 9:16
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I got to get in the car, you got to get these kids, I got to get to work, carrie.
• 9:19
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Like, make it work, let's go, we're not going to, it was.
• 9:21
  Carrie Lingenfelter: He was starting to come into the stick in the mud too, right?
• 9:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I was like, nope, we're going to pause.
• 9:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We're going to give her some love, right, we're going to give myself some love.
• 9:32
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I'm not going to go there.
• 9:33
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I need you to give me some love too, husband.
• 9:36
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We are all going to just embrace this and we're going to calm our system.
• 9:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I gave myself love.
• 9:42
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And then here's what I did.
• 9:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I went in there and I turned on silly.
• 9:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Did I want to do that at 7.30 am?
• 9:48
  Carrie Lingenfelter: No, did I really want to drink a coffee this morning?
• 9:52
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yes, but I went in there and I pulled out silly and for my daughter it looked like I'm a silly monster because we're eating cookie.
• 10:02
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It was like cookie crunch cereal this morning.
• 10:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I'm a cereal, I'm a Siri, siri, I'm a silly cookie monster, crunch monster, and I'm gonna munch you, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
• 10:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She's in her bean bag.
• 10:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was trying to reset herself.
• 10:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I went in there and I m munch, munch, munch munch.
• 10:15
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She's in her beanbag.
• 10:15
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She was trying to reset herself.
• 10:16
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I went in there and I munch, munch, munch, munch, munch and I watched her cues.
• 10:19
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Where are we at?
• 10:20
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Are we able to get into this?
• 10:21
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yes, she's accepting of this.
• 10:23
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She's oh, she's still angry.
• 10:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I'm going to like gently nudge little, munches, munches little, able to get her to smile and giggle.
• 10:35
  Carrie Lingenfelter: My husband was still pushing Carrie.
• 10:38
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We're going to be late.
• 10:38
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We got stuff to do.
• 10:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was like, okay, I need you to go do these two tasks for me.
• 10:45
  Carrie Lingenfelter: That would help me.
• 10:45
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So we can get.
• 10:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Let's start backing the car out.
• 10:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Let's get that.
• 10:47
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I'm going to get her addressed, I'm going to get her there.
• 10:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And I continued with the silly talking.
• 10:51
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, we're talking about the silly monsters.
• 10:53
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We're talking.
• 10:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We're not getting into that fear, we're coming at it with love and silliness.
• 10:58
  Carrie Lingenfelter: That was the key.
• 10:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So we were able to get her.
• 11:01
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We were a few minutes late, but guess what, if she had continued to stick her head in that sand even more, we would have been 20 minutes late instead of seven minutes late.
• 11:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So, thinking about these pieces, let's not think about the fear, let's think about love, because love, all love, so unconditional love, is the name of the game, right, guys?
• 11:22
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's accepting those moments of fear, chaos, when you want to judge your kids, when you want to judge yourself for not being perfect, when you want to stick your head in the sand too, because it's kind of easy to just like dive into the sand and not get involved in the craziness of the day.
• 11:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, wouldn't it be easier just to reject all the feelings and just nope, let's honor love.
• 11:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Let's honor the growth for ourselves and the growth for our kids.
• 11:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So this week I would like for you to think about love is love, and tune in and connect with your kids.
• 11:55
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Well, that's a wrap.
• 11:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for tuning in.
• 11:58
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Changemakers.
• 11:58
  Carrie Lingenfelter: This is Keri, and if you haven't done a review for us five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes, we would really appreciate it.
• 12:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: If you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback at info at hearttoheartlifecom.
• 12:18
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share.
• 12:21
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's hearttoheartlifecom.
• 12:24
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times.
• 12:28
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Changemaker families.