Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #127 Cricketer Megan Schutt On Sperm Donation And Her Premmie Baby

Transcript

#127 Cricketer Megan Schutt On Sperm Donation And Her Premmie Baby · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ash. We've got a very exciting guest on today. Meghan
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Shoot is an Australian fast bowler who was also mum
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to little Riley.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Shooter as they call her around here.
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: And her wife Jess became parents through the process of
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: reciprocal IVF, where Meghan's egg is fertilized using donor sperm
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: and implanted into Jess's.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Whom now despite falling pregnant quickly, Jess's pregnancy was considered
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: high risk and led to Riley's premature birth that only
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: twenty four weeks during the height of COVID.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Meghan shares how her and her family navigated the sperm
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: donation process, jess as high risk pregnancy, and how they
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: took care of Riley after her premature birth.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it. Welcome back to two doting dads
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: and one doting mum. I'm Mattie, j I'm Ash. I mean, oh,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I thought you're going to go with a Shooter.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, nickname Shooter.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Does anyone ever call you McGavin a lot?
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, people get really creative with the nicknames and McGavin
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: is common, but shooter generally sticks because it's the easiest
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: one to say.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I like shooter.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: I like Shooter too solid.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: We'll go with that.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: But this is a podcast all about parenting. It is
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: the good, it is the bad, and the relatable and
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: now Shooter. We don't give any advice at all. So
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: if ever there was a question in the back of
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: your mind, do these guys expect anything that remotely comes
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: close to advice, We don't, and nor did the listeners.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: But if you've got anything, we'll take it.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: I mean, an unsolicited pairing advice is my favorite, So
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: go ahead.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Now, we always start off with our guests when they
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: were a youngster. Were you someone who was well behaved?
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Did you require a lot of discipline?
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Discipline's a strong word. I probably wasn't overly well behaved.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: I'm one of three and I'm the perfect middle child.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: But did get up to a bit of mischief, and
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: I like to say that cricket probably kept me from
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: straying down a further line. But we grew up pretty
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: pretty poor, So I was a bit of a thief
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: back in the day. Not gonna lie had a pretty
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: good five things A discount like that was that was, yeah,
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: pretty common for me.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Do you remember that the first thing is stole?
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: No but like Kmart was regularly hit all kinds of
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: was like, that's me.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Now I've just I've just found crime and I really
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: like it.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I'm the best, because the best used to.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: Be if the beeper like went off as I was
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: walking out and just acting really casual about it, and
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: I was like, am I a good buyer?
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: You just question it?
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: But everyone claims on his kids.
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: Oh, actually, really clever.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Going you out for every time we leave came out
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: whatever I can feel in the bag.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: I had more of a food stealer. Oh yeah it does.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: It does cost a living, true, But we did start
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: on clothes.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Do you remember do you remember the most trouble you
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: got into? Was there one thing in particular that sticks out?
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: I was pretty good at not getting caught, To be honest,
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: There's until now.
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: I've been in trouble.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Now if my parents are listening to this, But now,
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: we were generally pretty good, and to be fair, it
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: was a pretty good they, so we never we never
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: got busted for anything.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: But I don't know, just.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: When you have too much time on your hands and
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: not a whole lot to do, it's kind of you
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: just make a little bit of trouble, but not anymore.
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty good now.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: And were your parents were they strict or were they
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: turned a blind eye to it?
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: What free flowing?
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: And it's probably me trying to test the boundaries to
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: trying to get their retention.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: But my dad was great because he was just crazy.
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: I was like, if I woke up and I was like,
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: I don't want to go to school today, it'd be like,
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: all right, don't.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: So I wouldn't end It's good.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: It gave me like the choice, and so half the time,
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: like because it wouldn't take much to test it, I
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: wouldn't really test it and go to school most of
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: the time.
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: But yeah, and my mum.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Was also pretty casual, like very casual house just in general,
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: which was good and bad. But my sister, probably my
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: oldest sister, probably got more of the district pairing, and
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: then as we went down we get less more of
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: what the kids did.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I've noticed that as a parent, there's the more children
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: you have, the more you're like, ah, that'd be fun,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I'll figure it out home.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I said, I've only got two, and even the second
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: I'm yeah, the third one would.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Be like if I had a third one, I'd be like, who.
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: Who is raise yourself?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: And you've got an older sister and a younger brother. Yeah, yeah,
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: are you close?
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: Close enough?
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: We're all pretty low maintenance, and that's great because I'm
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: a terrible replier on text. But three very different humans.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Me and my brother are pretty similar. And then my
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: sister is her own kind of world, but not involved
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: in the sporting world whatsoever, so it doesn't quite understand
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: a few times She's text to catch up for coffee
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: when I'm in Sri Lanka or something, so doesn't quite
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: understand the sporting lifestyle.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I guess who was it that induced you to cricket?
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: Then the boys at school?
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: I was like, always a bit twitchy, always had a
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: lot of energy, and so just kind of focused it
• 4:57
  Speaker 4: on sport, and all my best friends were born, and
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: one day, just filling in for the local boys club,
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: that happened to be a scout there for girls cricket,
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: Like it was just fate that he.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Happened to be there.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: And how old are you at this time?
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: Eleven? So it was a even a late bloomer to it.
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: I didn't even really like cricket till I was probably
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: like fifteen or sixteen and started to understand the nu
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: answers of it, I guess.
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: But yeah, just played every kind of sport under the sun,
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: I guess, and fell into cricket.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: How did cricket become number one?
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Then?
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: For you, probably the challenge of it. It's a stupid
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: sport and like like well said, you failed more times
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: than you succeed, and like it humbles you very very quickly.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: And I guess I enjoyed that challenge of it, and
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: also being the only really girl.
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: That played it.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: At my score, it was a bit of id run
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: on spit spiders my true motivation, so just trying to
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: prove people wrong, I guess, and be first and be
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: good at something and be better than the boys. So
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: I yes, stuck with cricket and then made some good
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: friendships that are still my best friends today.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Are you talking about out particular types of friendships because
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: we love a bit of a work romance here on
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: the podcast.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Yes, your wife, Yeah, yeah, she's not a cricketer, thank goodness,
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: but you kind of met through yeah, I think, yeah,
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: how she doesn't play cricket because that would just be
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: too much cricket in the house.
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: She was working for Cricket Australia at the time.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: Was up at the National Cricket Center where we trained
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: for Australian camps, and she's working behind the desk. She
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: was the facility's officer. But I just caught a receptionist
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: to kiss her off. But I basically like.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: She's the manager of first impressions.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I was like, I'm going to try and
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: woo the receptions here and wow, I did so. I mean,
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: I think we're almost ten years together now, so that
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: was a long time ago.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: What was you like your wooing move? Did you bring
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: like dessert or chocolate.
• 6:49
  Speaker 5: Or I'm just naturally pretty charming?
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Now we always said that's.
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: Walking in here. I felt it.
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: Coffee was a pretty easy one to like start off with.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: And as athlete, we drink far too much coffee, so
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: on camps we'd probably go for four or five a
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: day and I just either bring them back or invite
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: her out for them, and slowly, with time just wander over.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: So I honestly didn't take very long. But she was
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: working with Kroug Australia for a long time.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Actually, do you have to keep that secret at all?
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: At any point where where I used to work. I
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: remember there was an office relationship, and it was not
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: that it wasn't allowed, but they're just like, oh, maybe
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: might not seeming professional of people just disclose it with
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: hr Yeah, did you guys? Did you guys?
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: Go?
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: We'll give it a couple of months to see if
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: this is going to be something rock solid and then
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: we can announce it to people.
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: Nah.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: I'm not subtle at all, and so even if there was,
• 7:44
  Speaker 4: like even if we should have hidden it, we didn't.
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: I think because she's not really involved in high performance
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: or anything coaching. It didn't feel like I didn't even
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: give it a second or thought. To be honest with
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: we probably should have hit it for a little while.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: But yeah, that was never going to be a thing.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: And I'm like very open and honest about everything, So
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: I think had someone even asked when I was trying
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: to heart it, I just tell them anyway.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Love each other, weird coffee speak, we love each other.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: And you you're from South Australia right, and Jess is
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: from hambur originally, So how did that work?
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: You were just there on camp right?
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she moved to Brisbane she was at teen and
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: had been working at creedt Australia for a long time,
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: and we were going out for camps very regularly. This
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: is back when we weren't fully professional in terms of contracts,
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: and so we'd go up for camps pretty regularly just
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: to mainly get her ask kicked because they could. And
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: so we'd visit Brisbane because they're the only place with
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: turf wickets all year round, and spent a bit of
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: time up there, so I actually had quite a lot
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: of time to work on Jess. So yeah, and at
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: what point did you and just start talking about starting
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: a family.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: I don't want to be typical lesbian, but probably pretty early,
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: like you.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Want to put these I don't noticed about you.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Guys, wouldn't I forget your crowd. We've moved pretty quick now,
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: I don't know. As I said, I'm pretty open and honest.
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: So like I grew up not really caring about having kids,
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: I had no desire to do so, but it wasn't
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: against it. And whereas Jess was like the most nurturing, caring,
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: motherly person you've ever been in life, and so like
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: early days, it was pretty much we'll have kids and
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: if we don't, went not together and it was like okay,
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: And with time that changed and I guess like for me,
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: it was like meeting the right person to feel like
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: I wanted to have kids, And once I was with Jess,
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: I realized that I did want kids. So that was
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: clearly a person thing, but pretty early because obviously in
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: a lesbian relationship you're gonna have to go through quite
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: a process to achieve that.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: So that's where we don't have a lot of experience. Yeah,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: and we'd love to be informed. Okay, so when you
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: do mate the call, yes we want to start a family,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: where do you find sperm?
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: Well in this room recently had asect me Well, I
• 10:06
  Speaker 6: said recently a couple of years ago.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: I'm a proud owner with a two thousand and two
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: vasecto me.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: It's it's different at every state and it's different at every.
• 10:21
  Speaker 5: Fertility place as well.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: So for us, we went through Reprimed, which is a
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: South Australian company, and that was the first place we
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: happened to go to and the guy there happened to
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: love cricket, be a part of cricket, and I was
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: just like, this is fate.
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: We're going to use this place.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: Do you mean the guy that the sperms.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: So yeah, we went there and had really good feels
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: about it, and they said, look, I reprimented. You have
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: two options, and that's you either go with local South
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: Australian sperm or we're connected with California cry Bank in America,
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: and being from Adelaide, everyone knows everyone, and I.
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: Don't really want to turn the corner and.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: Be like that guy has the features that my daughter has,
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: and so we kind of thought Adelaide's probably a bit
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: too close to home.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: And it was only like ten donors anyways, and Adelaide
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: at the time and they.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Probably wide and so we went being serious or not
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: in terms of ten donors.
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: No, it was there was eleven.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: To be precise, there was eleven donors, not much and
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: also like it was super different to California Crybank with
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: limited details, no photos.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: They all have the same last name though.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: The same height was weird, and so yeah, we decided
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: to go with an American sperm and then it was just
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: a different world of it became a catalog, so it
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: was you literally sign it up to a subscription which
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: recommend pays for thank goodness, and you put in the
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: features you want and Bob Drunkle and you just go
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: through it, and there is certain genetic testing that they've
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: got to have done to be available for Australia, but.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Like a filter, Yeah, lowest time, high price, all the
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: same price.
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: So they met at a diplomatic at least.
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: But it was mind blowing because it was a catalog
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: and you just shift through what you wanted and like
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: we would have had going from ten or eleven donors
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: in Adelaide to thousands of donors in America, so we
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: kinda and how we wanted to do it was so
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: we did reciprocal IVF, so Raley's my egg and we
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: got donor sperm and my wife Jess carried and so
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: we wanted features that were similar to Jess, and so
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: we're trying to choose like dirty blonde, hazel eyes, and
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: like going through that, it actually was quite quite a
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: few of them.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: So how do you get it down to like ten?
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: That was a hard part.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: It's like it's nice to have all the options, yeah,
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: but then it's kind of like I'm looking with choice.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, well we're both in decisive humans that actually
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: did take It was a long process, like I'm talking
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: about it like this happened really quick. This was over,
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: of course, probably twelve months, and there were a few
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: donors that we wanted that were sold. So in America,
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: obviously you're paid to do it, and it just goes
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: really quickly. So all they're like, good looking blokes are
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: going pretty quick, and so we'd put in and by
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: the time that time difference the email.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: Would get there, they get back and be like really sorry,
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: they're not available or they haven't topped up, and you're like, okay, I.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: Must be disheartening for those guys. It's like, do you
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: need more than ten years?
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: I thought that same thing, because then you don't want
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: to be too polite in your life and just to
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: people because they haven't had any vials taken.
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: But it does tell you.
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: So it's a max of twenty families, and they might
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: say they've had eighteen out of their twenty families done
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: and then they're cut and so you'd kind of know
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: once that have been chosen more than the others. So
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: it does get a little bit sad. But there was
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: a few about I think our top three because they'd
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: done genetic testing and so would we We both like
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: carried similar things, and so Reprimand would come back and say, like,
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: there's a one in thirty chance they might have this,
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: so we'd luck you to choose someone else. So there
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: was our top probably two or three.
• 13:57
  Speaker 5: We didn't get.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: Through not being an sperm, or they'd been cut off
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: of their families, or the next couple clash for something
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: that I carried. So we ended up choosing this guy
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: and went with him. And then I just remember like
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: six Rileys about six months old and eyes were still
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: blistering blue, and I was like, they're not changing.
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: I was like, we chose like a Hazel guy. I'm Hazel,
• 14:20
  Speaker 5: you know.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: And then we realized we've been thinking about the wrong
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: donor for like the last nine months, and we just
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: like lost it laughing wise. I was like, holy shit,
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: we've been peaturing.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: The F sixty five.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: What his numbers right, So it's like zero one, nine five,
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: and you're like, oh crap. We were thinking of this one.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: And so we went on the profile and it was
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: like six months of thinking like Riley's eyes are going
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: to change, you know, and I was like, oh, and
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: it was so funny but also not, and it was
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: it was the weirdest thing ever. And we ended up
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: choosing just by like health and stuff like that, similar features,
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: but health history was impeccable. So I was like, I'm
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: not sure how much this guy's lying, but he's pretty
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: much perfect and his famous perfect. So but it was
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: a world of information and like we could hear his voice, unbelievable.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: What do they say? What's what's the pre recorded message?
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: They will have like a sit down with the nurse
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: over there and they just have a casual conversation and
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: you don't have to listen to their voice, but we
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: chose to.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: I thought it was like Tinder, you old grimy and
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: they got their little voice.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: They could sing a song to you or something.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Have you seen that?
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: So like on a prof on a dating profile, it's
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: got like you can leave a voice message. She was like, hey, baby,
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: welcome to Mahasure.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: It was just something like it's like, hey, my eyes
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: are really blue.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Do you remember there any any phrases in particular that
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: stood out?
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: No, he had no phrases.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: He just sounded a bit typically American, you know how
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: they're just naturally that little bit arrogant and just.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Like where's the camera they take a photo.
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: They're really prepped in what they're saying.
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: And he tried to sound really smart, which I think,
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: like judging by what he told us, he was educated
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: with he was art, but like he just seemed very
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: confident in what he was doing.
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: And it was a bit outgoing. But I guess that's
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: all Americans.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: So we didn't listen to everyone's voice that we were
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: trying to choose, just because it got a bit weird.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: But is there anyone he listened to and go?
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: There was a couple that we listened to, and I
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: don't know if it's a vibe or you don't like
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: their voice, which is a really mean thing. If there
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: was a big twang, probably would have. But it was
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: just an overwhelming amount of information and like it was
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: just so different to the South Australian process obviously if
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: we went through them.
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: So we ended up going with that. And they call
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: it super Sperm because it's.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: Extremely successful apparently, so that just tots the American lifestyle
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: even more.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: I guess, Wow, super sperm and your decision to use
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: your eggs with Jess, is that something that's quite common?
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: Uh not, it's probably becoming more common. It was a
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: way of like, I guess, as two mums, you feel
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: a bit like scared that you might not have the
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: bond with the child if you're not genetically related. And
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: we thought if we were in the position to be
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: able to afford to do IVF, then we might as
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: well do reciprocal And.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Does it complicate things at all?
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: Well, in the end, they think that we might have
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: had Riley prematurely because of that with two foreign bodies.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: I guess with it being a foreign egg and foreign sperm,
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: but I was like, all sperm as foreign, so the one.
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: But yeah, they We've had friends that have gone through
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: reciprocal and had absolutely zero issues. So I just think
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: they don't really know why we had a premie and
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: just chuck the blame on that a little bit.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: But can we talk about the premiere a little bit.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: Obviously Jess is carrying. At what stage do you think
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: something is not.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Right? I don't know, for a lack of a better term.
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: Something red flags.
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: Basically, it was at the twenty week mark, which was
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: quite small, but both Jess and I would like small babies, so.
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: We weren't really concerned.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: And they're like, we're just going to monitor things a
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: little bit more and then at the time twenty four
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: week scan, which we weren't supposed to have, but our
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: obstetrician was like, I just consent something, and so we
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: had an extra scan and she hadn't grown.
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: At all, and that all the alarm bells went off.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: And they when was the last scan prior to that,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: prior to the twenty week yeah, or so was it
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: twenty and then twenty four four weeks weeks no.
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: Basically zero and she went from being in like the
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: fiftieth percentile to the fifth.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: The next scan was under one percent for everything, and
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: all your red flags went up and they were like, look,
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: she's she's not getting the nutrients that we'd like her too.
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: You're going to have to be monitored. We could take
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: her out any day from now.
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: So from the twenty four week mark they told us
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: to pack our bags for the hospital and just be
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: prepped to go in any day. And at this point
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: she was estimated like three hundred and eighty grams or
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: something like that, so they were kind of also, you know,
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: have some conversation about she might not make it.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm going to sound really stupid here, but what's
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: the ideal weight that you want to be hitting if
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: she's only three hundred and eighty, oh at that.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: Point, you want over at six hundred at least.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Holy shit.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow.
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: It was all like.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, all the markers though, so not just wait, Like
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: everything was down and they said, any day that we
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: can scrape from twenty four weeks is great, and we
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: ended up almost getting to twenty nine weeks, so we're
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: pretty lucky in that regard.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: But were you still playing at this point or do
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: you have time offs?
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: I was training.
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: I don't think we had any tours, but I was
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: supposed to go on a tour against India and didn't
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: end up going on that because I knew we were
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: going to potentially have Riley in that time. Like they said,
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: there's basically zero chances you're get into thirty weeks, and
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: they were right, so I kind of knew plans were
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: going to have to change a little bit. But Jess
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: was in and out of hospital in that time. Like,
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: we had so many scans like dopplers and grows scans
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: and everything in between, so it was just they were amazing,
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: Like we had an amazing obstetrician and great people to
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: go through.
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: But this is also during COVID.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: So oh yeah, so many extra loopholes to go through,
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: and just a lot of sass from some of them
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: nurses and stuff about you know, you're choosing to have
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: a baby during COVID time, so you can't really complain
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: about this. So that I'm a pretty aggressive human when
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: I want to be, and so there was a lot
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: of times.
• 20:08
  Speaker 5: That we also didn't call me back.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't speak to to drag on for as
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: long as it had so shut up.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like we're all out, and it's like, oh,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: we're going to go back in.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: I think the worst time was like when we were
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: actually in hospital and you had limited visitors and it
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: was only parents that were allowed. And so half the
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: time like just would go in earlier and I'd go
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: to training and come in later, and I'd go to
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: go int the like no, the mum's already in, and
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm the other mum and they're like and
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: they like wouldn't believe me.
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: They'd think that I'm.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: Trying to sneak in and this kid, and so I'd
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: have to either go around to the other entrance and
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: try and get up the other way, go in a
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: different wing and do this. There was a few times
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: that they were like literally refusing to let me in
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: because I didn't believe that she had two mums.
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: They thought I was just someone else China.
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: That's so narrow minded, Like especially in the year, like
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: what year was it, twenty one, twenty one.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I'm like, at least don't just be like no, like
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: scan the system.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I really want to visit this baby.
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: I'm just so really want to go into a ward
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: where I'm confronted with lots of small children.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they do. They know what the issue was why
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Riley stopped growing.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: Adventus called or something. It was the percenter basically Biblical
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: corps was at the bottom of the percenter rather than
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: the center of it, and so just wasn't getting the
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: flow of nutrients that she needed. And they kept a
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: close eye on that with lots of scans and stuff.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: When we got steroids into jests and we got admitted
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: to hospital a couple of times with like a D
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: cell and a heart rate basically in Riley's heart rate,
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: and so they monitored.
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: Her and a few we had it.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Once we got admitted and they were like, you know,
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: you'll stay in here till she's born. So we're like
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: wrapping her heads around that, and then two days later
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: like see you later.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: Actually she's all.
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: Right, and so we go home and then I reckon
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: like four days after that, we're back in hospital and
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: they're like, okay, for real, now you will stay.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: Until what was that whiplash, like of like it's going
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: to happen. No, it's not. It's going to happen. Now
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: it's not.
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: I mean, it took more of a toll than what
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: I thought what it did.
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: I'm like, a I'm my dad, like just hide emotions
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: and think that everything is going well and try and
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: be the tough parent, the tough one, and so Jess
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: is quite an emotional human and a bit more regulated probably,
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: so I just pretend everything was okay and would just
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: be the calm one in the situation, be like, well,
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: just go with the flow is what it is. We
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: can't control it, which is also the truth. But it
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: was heavy with just trying to wrap our heads around
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: how we're going to live our lives, with knowing we're
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: going to have a premie, but not how early or
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: how healthy. And that was kind of the hardest part,
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: was like not even the in and out of hospital
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: just like home life, like how were we going to look
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: after our fur children and work and friends and everything
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: else in between. Yeah, we're pretty lucky that we had
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: great nurses in there and a great obstetrician, because I think, yeah,
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: had they been lackluster, it would have.
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: Been really hard.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: So twenty eight weeks how long does Bob have to
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: stay in hospital for?
• 22:55
  Speaker 5: You're pretty much told till gestations, So like forty weeks.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Is the the normal long time, but.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Like if they have problems and they could be in
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: there obviously longer. And I mean, we were so lucky.
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: So so it's twenty eight weeks, six days it was.
• 23:10
  Speaker 5: I got a call our.
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: Opposition came in the morning, was like, everything's fine, go off,
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: do your training whatever, And so I finished training, hopped
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: back in the car, and I was going back to
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: the hospital anyways, and I get a call from Jess
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: and she's like she didn't say anything other than they're
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: doing it right now. And I was like what, and
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: she's like, yeah, there was an acceleration and a heart rate.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: They've decided everything is not okay and they're taking her
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: out right now. So I like raced back to the hospital,
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: which is luckily just across the road from Adelaide Oval.
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: Perfectly located, and yeah, that's it.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: Like two hours later, bank Riley was out and she
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: was great, Like she let out a little cry, which
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: is not what's saying we expected at twenty eight weeks,
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: and was healthy, like her lungs were great, and so
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: she never needed to be an a ventilator or oxygen.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Do they do a C section then or yep?
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: And I looked up at the wrong time over she
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: shouldn't have done.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: But also, you know, it's not a pretty side.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: It was more confronting than what I thought.
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I can see blood and gore,
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: like I watched these shows all the time, I'll be
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: fine and then but seeing it as.
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: Jess was so much less than what I thought. So
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: I had to hide trying not to pass out.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: But you did better than some of us.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: I didn't even get to that point before I passed out.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: I only got to the epidural and I passed out.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: I was parking the car, and he passed out.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: My wife gave but my wife gave two c sections,
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: but the second one is one I fainted and she
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: gave birth.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I was still on the ground. I was like looking up, like,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: you need to just stay there.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: So, yeah, it did better than me. But it's not pretty,
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: is it. I didn't even get to that bit.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: When that happened. I was already laying down, so it was.
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: Good, good, Well, this won't hurt and you're in the
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: right place.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: Was like, what are you looking after him for? Yeah,
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: it's pretty brutal.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: What's it like in that period than when is born?
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: But you have to go home empty handed.
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the hardest part.
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: That when I struggled a bit more with them, I
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: thought I wouldn't And it's just such a trust in
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: the process, in the people, and you know that everyone
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: who works at the hospital was there to help people,
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: and you just obviously have nurses you like more than
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: the others.
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: But yeah, saying goodbye of a nighttime was really really hard.
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: And for the first night, because since she was so
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: PREMI we couldn't go to a private hospital. It had
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: to be public and so like I wasn't supposed to
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: say the night but the nurses pretended that they didn't
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: know I was there, and I slept on these cushions
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: on the floor and so for the first couple of
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: nights were okay because Jess was still in recovering from
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: the C section, so I got to be in there
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: a little more than what others would have.
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: It's really strange, isn't it. When you're like, it's the
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: miracle of life, but then in the blink of an eye,
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: you're like sleeping on two cushions on the floor.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: This is what's happening.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: It was even weirder to watch like people be churned
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: out in less than twenty four hours, Like to see
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: women that have gone in there at the same time
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: we did and be leaving in like twelve hours after
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: giving birth. Here's a human take it home, And you're like,
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: like that was more scary, Like, in some ways, I'm
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: kind of grateful that we got time at a hospital
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: to learn how to care for a baby. Like we
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: got so much nursing experience that other parents don't get
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: because they just shoved out with their children so quick.
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: So it was trying to be like grateful for the
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: extrue experience that we got, because that was the more
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: confronting thing. Is like, once we do take Riley home,
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: that's it. There's no nurse around the corner to tell
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: us what that cry means or you know.
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: What we should be doing.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: So how long was it before you got to take it? Right?
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: She ended up taking home at what she would have
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: been thirty six weeks, So we got four weeks ahead
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: of schedule, which was bloody awesome. And she went home
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: on the NED program, which is basically like she's still
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: being fed through a nasal tube, but we could do
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: that at home. So obviously pass a few things to
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: tick that off. But yeah, we got home four weeks
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: ahead of what we thought. And then obviously we met
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: some families that were in there that were well past
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: their forty weeks, Like there was some implications it's lung
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: terun developed or so that some families have been in
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: there for six months, you know, and so we're like,
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: holy how we've really got a good end of the
• 27:09
  Speaker 4: stick here. And you took her home early, and she
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: pretty much once she hit two point four kilos, we
• 27:14
  Speaker 4: could take her home. So it was kind of just
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: the waiting game because again we got really lucky with
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: she was healthy and they called her an organized banana.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: I remember just specifically that was like what they were
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: her after like two days I was like, what a
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: weird thing to say, So that always just come from
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: I don't know. He was a weird fellaw otologist.
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: He was a wonderful man.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: I love cricket and would like explain everything in cricket terms.
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: I'd be sitting down and beautiful cover drap, Well that's it.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: He's like, okay, you know, he's like, we're out the
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: power play now. He's like, the sweepers are out, and
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: he's like, we're just we're milk and the sweepers.
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: We're just hitting ones.
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: He's like, it's boring cricket. It's the waiting gang. He's like,
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: but you know, we're just ticking.
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: Away, getting the right sit there, and I'm like that's perfect,
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: and we'd leave and Jess to be like, what the fuck.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have no.
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: Idea what he just said.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, okay, she's doing well, all right, just
• 28:07
  Speaker 4: to take out of that, she's doing well. So he was,
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: but yeah, early days, he caught her organized banana. I
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: was like, what a strange thing to call her, And
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: then that just like kind of stuck, and she.
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: Knew what she was doing and was just like he
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: didn't take.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: But he was like he would like kind of wake
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: her if he wanted her attention, Like, the first rule
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: is to not wake the baby, right, So I'm like,
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: why you're waking my baby?
• 28:26
  Speaker 5: But he was wonderful, and yeah, she was really good.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Like we were only had a couple of days that
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: we kind of went backwards while we're in there, So
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: our actual experience in the hospital was smooth as well
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: as smooth as it could possibly get. But it was
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: just trying to juggle that with training. Was a bit annoying,
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: but still a decent position.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: I guess.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: Going back and forth in the hospital and being in
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: that situation for any family, I can't I can't imagine
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: the toll it takes on you when you do finally
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: get home.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: How did you cope when you were home?
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: You were a family, you're back with, you have dogs, cats,
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: or you're all back together, How did you handle it?
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: Overwhelming?
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: I reckon We got maybe two hours of sleep each
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: night for the first like month.
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: It was insane. Riley's still a terrible sleeper, So that's
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: great that one didn't wear out.
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: But yeah, we have a dog and a cat, and
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: those two just absolutely blanked Raley, like didn't care about
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: her existence whatsoever. So that was kind of great because
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: we were sad. We're like hoping they'd really bond, but
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: they just didn't give a shit yet. But it was
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: mainly like scary because, like as I said, we're on
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: our own now.
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: We don't have a nurse to just call up.
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: Like we were probably over protective because of her start
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: to life, and like taking her out for a walk,
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: we'll probably you know, wait for the perfect conditions rather
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: than just going, no, we all need to be outdoors,
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: like we've been trapped inside, and just we were probably
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: a bit too sensitive to things, and we were super
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: rigid with following every rule ever told about to be
• 29:49
  Speaker 4: around newborns. And then obviously we covid around like if
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: anyone sneezed or something, we're like, oh my god, we
• 29:55
  Speaker 4: need to get out of here.
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: And it was just like it was a weird time,
• 30:00
  Speaker 5: but it was also really cool because we're finally home
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: in our own space.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: I didn't have really too much cricket until Big Bash started,
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: so I was home a lot and being able to
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: adjust to home life was really nice. It was just
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: a little bit different than what we'd expected. And again,
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: if we have a second child, I think we'd be
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: a bit more laxed with that one.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: I read somewhere and tell me if this is not
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: something you've spoken about openly before, but Jess went through
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: postnatal depression. Yeah, when did you realize that that was
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: something that you guys were going to start tackling.
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: Ah, we probably didn't address it as early as we
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: should have. I mean, the signs were there, but as
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: I said, I'm probably not the best with handling my
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: own emotions.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: So when you say the signs for people out there
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: who may have no idea, what do you now know
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: in hindsight what those signs were.
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: Probably not connecting with Riley as much as like a
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: mother would, and then she would get the guilts about
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: not connecting with Riley, and so it was kind of
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: the double fold there. That was the main one, and
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: just being unhappy big a lot of the time and
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: not appreciating the small moments, I guess, And we'd have
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: our moments of joy, don't get me wrong, but I
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: guess the overall feel was probably sadness. And Riley was
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: a really tough baby, like she didn't sleep, Witching hour
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: was absolute hell, and you just get that anxiety would
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: come like five minutes till six you just bang on
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: and you just knew it was coming in the last
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: about an hour and a half months on end, and
• 31:24
  Speaker 4: you're like, this is horrible. And I think we blamed
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: a lot of it on Riley being hard rather than
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: realizing that it was actually more of a mental side
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: for Jess. So, I mean, I'm pretty good at like
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: keeping things light hearted and we're just try and make
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: things fun and probably brushed it off a little bit.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: I guess when Jess was like, I'm not feeling well
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: and finally addressed it.
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: It's tough when there's no sleep too, for any parent,
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: any parents like that early stage, Like you just the
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: phrase witching hour makes my hand stand on end.
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, it makes me anxious.
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: Now, yeah, it's probably really hard to I mean, now
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: you look back and see the signs, but in the moment,
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: you're just too tired.
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: You're just trying to function.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: You're just trying to get by and look after that
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: human and we probably like didn't talk about our feelings
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: a lot because we're just too focused on Riley. And
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: you do, you forget about your relationship and that takes time.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: To I guess, become the center of attention, I guess,
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: and it never.
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: Really truly goes back to the same.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: But I think we weren't probably communicating at all because
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: we're just in, you know, function mode of just tick
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: off a box and try and keep Riley safe and healthy.
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: And then we're getting by life.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: And then because things probably weren't getting better with Riley
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: for a long time, it was probably dragged on a
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: bit longer, and then we're like, we probably need to
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: address some things.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: Did you did you seek help, like like together, like
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: was there anything you did that really helped you sort
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: of overcome that?
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: J just started seeing a psych. I probably should have
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: in hindsight, again, I just I would feel I would
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: filter everything into sport and just take my mind off
• 32:53
  Speaker 4: it by thanks for training, or just find a way
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: to weasel sport is the way out of it. And
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: eventually had my own little mental break down, I guess,
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: and finally started seeing a psych. But Jess was good
• 33:02
  Speaker 4: and eventually saw a psych and that helped her immediately
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: of just feeling like you're a part of something and
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: knowing you're not alone and so many people feel like this.
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: That was the most reassuring thing because every mother on
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: social media obviously mainly post the good stuff parents.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: The way you described the beginning early stages of Riley's life,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: it's to a t. It was with Lola, yeah, our
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: second like it was just you could like identical.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: It was crazy and people probably think all they do
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: think in that moment, I must be the only one
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: dealing with this when like when someone like yourself or
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: like we've had other people open up about it, you
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: know on the podcast where they go, oh, hang on
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: a minute, other people are dealing with the same thing.
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: So well, we all need to talk about the bad
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: times more. And I guess that's the relatable part good
• 33:50
  Speaker 4: plugin for you. But like, yeah, we all just post
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: obviously the happy photos and stuff that happened, all the
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: funny shot themselves photos.
• 33:58
  Speaker 5: You know everything we all laugh.
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: But like the hard times of like Jess not getting
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: too much free time to just go get a coffee
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: by herself, or wanting to play her own music in
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: the car versus, you know something for Riley, and like
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: the little things that I would take for granted with
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: my sport and being able to go away because I
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: would get the guilts of being away from Riley.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what was your schedule like when you had to
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: start playing again.
• 34:20
  Speaker 4: Pretty much just went back to being away a lot,
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: Like we're on a bad year.
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: We're away, like physically out of home, like six months
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: of the year.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: And then you think of trainings in between our own
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: camps for Australia, in between State Staff, Big Bash, everything
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: that comes into play.
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: You're on the road a hell of a lot.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: And so I tried to transition slowly back in with
• 34:38
  Speaker 4: Big Bash and not go to the first couple away
• 34:42
  Speaker 4: games that we had, But after that.
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: There was kind of no control. Like at the end
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: of the day, you've got to go back to your job,
• 34:46
  Speaker 5: I guess, and that was hard.
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: So I'd have the guilts of like leaving Riley, leaving
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: Jess with Riley, knowing how anxious Raley was and we're
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: so blessed to have Jess's parents down with us. But
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: I'd come back and then I'd kind of get angry
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: just for not understanding my gilts, knowing she's got a
• 35:02
  Speaker 4: completely different lifestyle and her like my things that I
• 35:05
  Speaker 4: was guilty about, which was being away, you know, being
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: your own free time is exactly what she needed and
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: so it probably took a while for her to communicate
• 35:12
  Speaker 4: what she needed to feel better and for me to
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: actually push for that and go like, no, I'll take
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: Riley for the next two hours. If you just want
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: to go sit on the grass, then the park down
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: the road, you go do it. And we probably took
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: too long to get to that of Jess actually saying
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: this is what I need? Can you can you help me?
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: Versus I probably should have been asking as well, like
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: what do you need to feel better for yourself?
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: And we eventually got there.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: But it's easy at this point to look back and
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: it's so obvious. Sometimes I used to call it getting eggy,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: and if I got too eggy, you just means I
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: was getting a bit shitty. And Laura would say, you
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: just need to go for a walk, like just go
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: for a walk for twenty minutes, or just go for
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: like a like half an hour run. Just get out
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: there and something as simple as that is what you need.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: But in the moment, you don't think it's going to
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: make much.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: A different regulate as well as hope, which is like
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: being the blessing of having a is realizing that we
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: do not regulate as adults. The way that we think
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: we do. So like it's been like that was a
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: huge learning curve. I even realizing what I need, like
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: what feels my bucket outside of cricket. I didn't really
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: realize what that was until Riley kind of came around
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: and just started playing soccer again, and so that kind
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: of was like an escape for her at least a
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: few nights a week and for games and stuff like that.
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: So it was like we slowly filled that cut back up,
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: but that took far longer than probably what it should
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: have if we just probably communicated a bit better. But
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: it was a learning curve for all of us in
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: realizing we probably didn't communicate as well as what we
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: thought we did pre Riley anyway, So it's been a
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: relationship curve as well.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Is this psych responsible for this or is this you
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: guys figuring it out over time?
• 36:42
  Speaker 5: I think a bit of both.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: I think her psych was great for her deep dark
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: thoughts that I've not even really asked her about, because
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: that's for her to share if she wants to. But
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: I've got my own sych that I see as well.
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: And I think the combo of us coming home and
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: sharing bits and pieces about like what we learned in
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: that and then molding it together was the big learning
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: curve and going.
• 37:03
  Speaker 5: Why weren't we doing this beforehand?
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: For one, but two also just listening to each other
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: more like and I mean we all speak about love
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: languages and we joke about, you know, people matching because
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: of them, but really actually making sure that you are
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: ticking those boxes off, because I think the simple things
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: of the love language is really important when you've got
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: another little human.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: To focus on.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really good at giving you the tools for that,
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: because you might you might personally be like, Okay, well
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: I know what I need and Jess might know what
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: she needs, but how do we communicate that properly? So
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: and it's done properly so that we can resolve a
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: problem or feel each other's cup or get back to
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: the love language that you talk about. So they're really
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: good at giving tools.
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it takes a lot of time, though, Yeah, for sure, do.
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: You think that you will ever carry I'm a fifty
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: to fifty I'm like, I was probably more inclined to
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: carry pre rightly, but now knowing everything that can go
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: wrong in act, That's exactly how I feel, and like
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: everyone will be like, yeah, you're an ath, Like you
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: might just not want to ruin your body.
• 38:01
  Speaker 5: I don't give a shit about that. I don't care
• 38:02
  Speaker 5: about ruining my body, like I'll fix it back up.
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: But like it's the fact that I'm now educated on
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: what can go wrong at any stage through out of pregnancy.
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: It's like when people get.
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: To, you know, the fourteen week mark and then they
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: post about you know, they finally reveal like I'm out
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: of danger. I'll tell people I'm pregnant now, like you're
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: never out of danger, and like that freaks me the
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: shit out. And now that we've had that bad experience,
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: and generally when you have a premier, you're probably going
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: to have another premiere, is what you're told. And so
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: it's kind of like a scared the shit out of me,
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: Like I would say, I'm less likely to carry now
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: that we've we've had Riley, and if we ever decide
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: on that, like I'm happy to do it, I'll just
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: be scared the whole time.
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: If you do it again, do you use the same
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: sperm that you use the first time?
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so you got to make sure you buy in bulk.
• 38:45
  Speaker 4: A bit of a costco shop it was just expensive
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: as hell.
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: So we're just lucky it was it is you do
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: buy and like you, I don't know how long it's
• 39:01
  Speaker 5: going to take.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: That.
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: So our process was different with I got a heap
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: of eggs out, it was great, ragged about it.
• 39:05
  Speaker 5: We've got a heap of embryos, and then we got
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: Riley first go.
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: So we're like, holy shit, this process is easy, you know.
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: And so there's technically eight embryos frozen eight minie. Riley's
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: still you know, waiting to come. But it's like trying to.
• 39:21
  Speaker 5: Have enough sperm.
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: So like if he hasn't topped up, and so we've
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: now got I think two vials left of sperm and
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: that would be enough to So we've just recently got
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: Jess's eggs out and waste waste, I shouldn't they waste
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: used a vial and so he hasn't topped up, and
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: it's like, well he might never and so he hasn't
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: completely cut off his line, but he hasn't topped up,
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: which is a weird.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Thing to say.
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's just five more minutes, and so
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: you've got to kind of plan because you don't know
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: how long it's going to take and so we just went, Okay,
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: we'll buy five vials ship them over and yeah, so
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: he hasn't topped up, and then you've got to have
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: the convos of you know, if we used it all up,
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: would we use another We just go back to the
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: embryos that we have stored, knowing that we'll probably have
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: a premie baby again, and then how does it work
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: with my job having Riley and Jess be at the
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: hospital with a premi and so it just brings you
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: more conversations. But yeah, we'd look to use the same sperm. Admittedly,
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: there's probably like.
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: One or two cycles of that left, and after that
• 40:19
  Speaker 5: it would just be a discussion of what we want
• 40:21
  Speaker 5: to do and if he's topped up, but it doesn't
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: look like he will.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: So when you said that in the clinic that you
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: went to in Adelaide, there's only eleven different men who
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: had given samples. Is it as simple as more men
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: need to donate or are is there red tape that's
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: stopping people from donating.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: It's a process in Australia, so obviously in America you
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: get paid, so there's incentive for people to do it.
• 40:41
  Speaker 5: But at the same time.
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: Apparently they go through SYCH sessions to make sure they're
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: not just you know, abusing the system. I don't quite
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: believe that they're probably just abusing system, But in Australia
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: you do got to go through sych sessions so that
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: you're not the way she worded, I remember the nurse
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: was like, well, we don't want a guy coming in
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: being like I think I'm genetically superior.
• 40:59
  Speaker 5: I want to give like my genes rather than just
• 41:01
  Speaker 5: a genuine guy going. I want to help families who
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: are struggling to conceive.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: So wean out the psychopaths.
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, pretty much.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: The world with my own semen.
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: But if it's a good looking lad, then you might
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: as well that's a great dictator. But yeah, it was.
• 41:19
  Speaker 4: There is quite a few barriers. And again it's it's
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: different in every state and the regulation is different. And
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: I mean that Netflix stocker came about that guy in
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: Sweden or wherever who had ended up fathering like a
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: thousand different kids because the regulations weren't the same in
• 41:33
  Speaker 4: every country and he thought he was superior. And so
• 41:36
  Speaker 4: it's like there's there's a lot of hoops you got
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: to jump through in Australia. But it is not enough
• 41:41
  Speaker 4: men donate. We're trying to push up numbers through some promos,
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: but it's a bit of a weird thing to advocate
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: for in some ways.
• 41:48
  Speaker 5: He's a cut for everyone, cut for everyone. If you donate, great,
• 41:51
  Speaker 5: But someone.
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: Was listening and they're thinking, I like the idea of
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: enabling a family to start, and if I can help
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: in that process, great. Do they just reach out and
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: google the nearest clinic.
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: I'm assuming that would be the case.
• 42:06
  Speaker 4: As I said, it's different at every single clinic, so
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: I'm sure there'd be different processes to go through, but
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: I think it'd be as easy as googling and finding
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: a local clinic and calling them up and seeing where
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: you start from there.
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: Because I imagine that.
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: You know, most blokes that are doing it for free
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: are doing it for the right causes, So you'd like
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: to think that there's a lot of men out there that.
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: Could do it.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: Sorry, Ash, not you, Conker, I said, good, I've done
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: my thing.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: I've got kids. Shoot. I think parenting is incredible, it's amazing.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: I love it. Wouldn't change your for ending in the world.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: But at the same time, there's so many moments that
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: are so fucking hard and you're just in the depths
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: of trying to survive, and it's so nice to hear
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: someone talk about it so openly in the way that
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: you have.
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: So thank you anytime.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: I mean, as I said, we need to talk about
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: these things more open harder than what people do. But
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: I could chat about parenting for three different hours.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: So good a pleasure, Thanks much.
• 43:09
  Speaker 5: I appreciate it.
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: Well, thank god, Matthew.
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: We wished her good luck in the Ashes series because
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: it seems to work.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Can we say credit for that taking? I mean we
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: did wish a good luck Boca Wincidents Australia. Then win's
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: the Ashes.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, I have so little I need this.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: We should invoice them for that. Did we just become
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: coaches of the Australian Cricket.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Assistant coaches Captain coach, We're going to play.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Good luck for the rest of your career, Shooter. Oh,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: we'll invoice for that as well.
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: If you did enjoy that episode, please leave us a review,
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: five stars or a couple of nice words for us.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: All for me, we'll pass on just a few.
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: Just I'm out of the jungle. You know I need it,
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: You need it now.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: I need it.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: You know, I've been been malnourished with a lack of
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: comments and I would appreciate something. Thank you very much.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: Everyone jump into Matt and send him something nice.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, it has to be public. It has
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: to be public. If it's if it's private, doesn't count
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: when people when people message me and say, hey, the
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: podcast is great, I'm like, shut up and write that
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: on a pub Shut up and shut up and write
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: that on a pub.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: No wonder, you're not getting any good comments.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Shut up and write that on a public platform.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: You can also find us on social Let.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Me get up and write that on a public platform. Yeah,
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: just edit that one up. That's good at it.
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: Also, you can join us on social media again.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Man, you've been out of the game for farts, Instagram, Facebook, whatever,
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Bye bye bye.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and tourist at
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: older peoples today.