Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How narcissists show you THAT THEY CARE about you

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How narcissists show you THAT THEY CARE about you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful folks?
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  Today we're going to be talking about how do narcissists show
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  you that they actually care about you?
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  How do they express the fact that they care for you about you
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  and what not? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes, yes. How do narcissists show you that
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  they care? I know a lot of people are going
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  to be like, well, Lee, they don't.
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  They can't care. They're demons.
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  Including you or not including you, Lee, because you help us.
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  But being real, if I keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar's
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  pizza over here, there are in fact a lot of narcissistic
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  people that do have the ability to care for you because not
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  let's just be real, not everybody is a full blown
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  pathological narcissist then everybody.
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  There are a lot of people out there with some toxic
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  narcissistic traits, but not everybody is a full blown
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  pathological narcissist, right? But for those that are or not or
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  not, like there are certain things that narcissists do to
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  show you that they actually care for you or about you and how do
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  they do it? They cut to the chase.
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  Just cut to the chase. You've been talking, you've been
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  all you talk about is clapping cheeks and you know, acting like
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  a robot and stuff like that. But like cut to it, all right?
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  It's typically like in the beginning, so it transitions,
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  right? So in the beginning of
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  relationship with a narcissist, they're going to be doing
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  things, they're going to be going to be doing a lot of
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  things. They try to show you that they
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  care, right? They're going to be, they'll be
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  doing a lot of things to show you that they care.
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  They're going to act like they love you.
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  They're going to tell you that they love you.
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  They're going to express love to you in a lot of different ways.
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  They're going to just in the beginning of the relationship,
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  it's going to be love balmy a lot of times, but it's also
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  going to seem normal, right? It's going to have a, a, a, a
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  touch of normalcy to it, right? And that's going to happen to so
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  many people. Like there is going to have a
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  touch a little, a little, a little baby touch of it being
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  normal, right? But eventually it transitions
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  like in the beginning, it seems like you have this deep
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  emotional connection and that's what keeps a lot of people
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  there, right? That's what keep that's what
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  drives a lot of people to stay with narcissists, to stay in
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  task relationship, to stay with the person.
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  Because in the beginning you have this seemingly deep, super
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  deep emotional connection. Like you never met somebody like
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  this that made you feel this way.
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  Da da, da da da da da. Like I go into it in the great
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  detail in my course cause the understanding the seven stages
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  of a narcissistic relationship, right?
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  courses.mentalhealthness.net. But it transitions.
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  It transitions from them seemingly having a deep
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  emotional connection with you. So it just being physical,
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  that's how they show you that they care.
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  In the beginning it seemed like y'all have a deep emotional
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  connection and you very well. Maybe this is not me just trying
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  to discredit anybody out there that that tried.
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  You see what I'm saying? You know, this is not me trying
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  to do that. I'm saying that it's just seemed
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  like they had the ability to care more than what they
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  actually did. But once it transitions to it
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  just being a physical thing, then they feel like they got you
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  right. They feel like they got you set
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  up then like because it's going to transition and it does
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  transition for a lot of people, right?
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  It does transition from you being with being with this
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  person and having a deep emotional, emotional connection
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  to it just being a physical relationship.
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  And what I mean by physical, I don't just mean, I don't just
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  mean clapping cheeks. I know that a lot of people
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  think I mean by just like the clapping cheeks, right?
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  Clapping cheeks. But Jessica added that shout out
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  to Jessica Montes. But a lot of people think it's
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  just physical means just sleeping with you, like but it
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  goes to physical gifts, physical presence, physical things, just
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  you being here like we are here. Like This is why when you ask a
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  narcissist, do they love you and they'll respond to you with I'm
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  here, Artna. Didn't I just buy you that
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  bookcase? Didn't I just get you those shoe
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  cleaners? Then I just buy you those bath
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  bombs. You don't think I, if I loved
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  you, I wouldn't have bought you those bath bombs or whatever.
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  You know, a good example of this if you into hip hop and rap and
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  whatever, you know, Cardi B and Offset, like Cardi B and Offset
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  have broken up recently and Cardi B, I'm pretty sure she
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  called it Offset, a narcissist. And she said that every time he
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  would cheat and do something horrible to her, he would just
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  go buy her something. There's no like, no, I'm sorry,
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  baby, here's a here's a private jet.
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  I'm sorry, baby, let me do this, let me do that.
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  I'm sorry, baby. Here you go.
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  Like they do things like that for you and it worked.
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  Does it work? Yes, because it works because it
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  makes you feel good for a little while.
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  A gift makes you feel good for a little while.
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  But then you you think about it like you just gave me the new
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  iPhone 16 and you turned your location off so I can't even
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  track you anymore. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's it's always a caveat to it, isn't it?
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  It's just like you just gave me this gift, but you, you, you're
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  pretty much not being there for me emotionally.
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  We are emotionally disconnected from each other.
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  But hey, you gave me a gift, right?
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  Hey, you gave me this, right? So we're, this is what so many
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  people go through when you're dealing with narcissistic
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  people, right? This is the space that so many
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  people fall into, like they transition to physical stuff.
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  It just becomes a physical relationship, physical, this
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  physical that. It just becomes a physical
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  thing. They're not emotionally that
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  like they might emotionally be there a little bit, but there is
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  mostly going to be physical. That's how they show you that
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  they care, right? It's mostly going to be a
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  physical. The relationship goes from
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  emotional to physical and it stays there.
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  It stays there unless they try to do some type of work, unless
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  they try to work on themselves. Because like, what I've started
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  to understand now more and more deeply is that most narcissist,
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  most narcissistic people have an avoided attachment style.
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  So they don't like really care for emotional closeness.
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  So that's why I was like, the closer you get to them
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  emotionally, the further they kind of push you away, the worse
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  they will treat you emotionally when you get closer to them.
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  And it's kind of weird how it works.
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  Like, what the hell? What the hell going on?
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  Like all I try to do is show you some love and you are here being
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  mentally, physically, verbally abusive.
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  Like, what the hell is wrong with you?
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  You see what I'm saying? And you're trying to win, you're
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  just trying to win, you're trying to do this, you're trying
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  to do that. And it just doesn't end up
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  working out for you very well because that's the way that's
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  the way the process goes. Like I'll be like, when I tell
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  y'all, I'll be rooting for y'all.
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  I really do it just, and that's why I'm doing this video to show
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  you, like, let me say this, I'm not doing this video to just
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  show you that narcissists still care about you because I know
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  that's what people are looking for.
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  People are looking for hope. We're looking for a sign that
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  their narcissistic partner still cares.
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  I understand that, right? You're looking for you.
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  Like, well, Lee just said they still care because they give me
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  gifts. Lee just said they still care
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  because they they're still with me.
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  They haven't left you. Like, yeah, I said this is how I
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  show you. This is how they show you that
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  they care. But the way narcissist cares for
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  you is going to be very different than anybody.
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  Anything else, the way a narcissist shows you they care
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  for you is going to be very different because they can.
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  Narcissistic people are very good at compartmentalizing
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  things. They can cheat on your ass or
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  hit you or do something horrible to you and still think that they
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  love you and care about you. They can have a whole, they can
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  look, they can start a family with somebody else and still in
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  their minds see it as y'all still are going to be together,
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  like y'all still are working together.
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  Y'all still like this relationship is it's better than
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  they used to be because they still like, they still are
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  there. They can separate you from
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  whatever else they're doing. So do they is that is that is,
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  do they really care about you If they're cheating on you?
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  They'll try to convince you that they do.
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  Look, I cheat on you, but it makes me treat you better.
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  I saw somebody post a video about that the other day that
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  like a lot of narcissistic people think they're cheating on
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  you, makes your relationship stronger.
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  Like, I don't know about y'all, but I think because a lot of
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  narcissists, the people out here just sleeping with people raw,
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  they ain't trying to protect themselves.
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  They ain't trying to protect you.
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  Yeah, they just have to just sleeping with people.
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  So I don't know if giving you an STI or STD, whatever they call
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  now, I don't know if them giving you one of those is showing you
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  that they care, right? I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of
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  beyond that right there, right. You know what I mean?
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  I'm just kind of beyond. I'm just kind of like the, my,
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  my mind don't work though. I'm just like, you know what, I
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  don't think, I don't think you, we really care.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's the mind.
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  So many people, that's the mindset that so many people get
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  into right there. Like they'll do this type of
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  stuff for you and just retreat, pretend like they don't care
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  about you. They'll act like there's like
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  they, they will try to tell you and try to show you that they
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  care about doing physical things for you, but it's not that they
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  actually care for you. You know what I mean?
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  It's not that they actually do anything for you.
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  They are being horrible to you, y'all?
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  They absolutely are. They're being horrible to you.
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  They're doing this horrible stuff to you, for you, from you,
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  about you. I just want you to protect
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  yourself because just because they show you that they care
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  doesn't mean that they actually care to you, care for you.
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  The amount of like the, to the quality that you need or the
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  quality that you deserve. Yeah, because somebody tells you
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  that they love you like they can.
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  I'm giving you. I'm giving you all of me.
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  All of them could be 5% of what you're actually looking for.
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  You know what I'm saying? Somebody give you their all
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  doesn't mean much when they they don't have much to offer,
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  especially in the emotional connection department.
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  They can offer you some, some some sex.
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  They can sleep with you, you something they can offer you
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  that. But like, is that all you want?
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  Is that all it takes? And for some people it is all it
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  takes. Well, Lee, is this so good?
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  I just can't stop it. Well, that look, until you have
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  some sexual discipline, you're going to be in this, you're
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  going to be in this for a long time, because that's how to
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  express themselves physically. They just sleep with you because
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  they know it keeps you there. Especially if you, if you're
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  whipped, they got you. If you're D whipped or P
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  whipped, they got you. They don't think you can go
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  nowhere. And you, you in your mind you, I
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  don't want anybody else to get this and I can't get this
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  anywhere else. Yeah, there's billion, there's
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  billions, literally billions of them out there.
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  Why this one? Ask yourself that question.
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  Why this one is billions of them out there.
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  Why this one? Why can't I get past this one?
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  Why is it this one right here? That's a question you have to
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  ask yourself. That's a question you have to
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  empower yourself to answer because yeah, they're going to
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  show you that they care in their own way.
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  But is it enough for you? Is it going to make you happy?
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  It's just going to fulfill you. It's just going to take you to
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  the end of the earth. Like you going like if the
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  narcissistic person treat you the way that they're treating
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  you right now for the next 50 years and you're on your
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  deathbed and your great, great grandkids ask you the questions
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  of hey, if your husband or wife, do you regret that relationship
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  at all? All you fulfilled?
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  Did they give you what you needed?
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  Did they give you what you wanted?
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  Regret is a powerful thing. Go read the book the five five
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  biggest regrets of the dying. The book by it's called It's by
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  by Ronnie Ware. 5 regrets. What's it called?
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  5 regrets of the It's called 5 regrets of the The Top five
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  regrets of the Dime is by Bronie Ware.
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  It's a beautiful book. The number one regret of people,
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  The number one regret of people right here, right.
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  Imagine being in your deathbed and it asks you or your your
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  great, great grandkids look at you and ask you, were you happy?
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  Were you fulfilled and the number one regret of this woman
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  who went around to hot she worked in Hospice.
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  I think she worked in Hospice. It's usually ask people what you
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  no more regret and so many people said this.
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  I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the
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  life others expected of me. Think about that.
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  Anyway, y'all, thanks for tuning in.
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  I appreciate every single one of y'all.
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  As always, as always, you know, make sure you like and subscribe
• 12:20
  to the channel. And as always, y'all mental
• 12:22
  illness is out. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I'm extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea? If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
• 12:32
  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 12:34
  another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 12:36
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:38
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.