Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #143 The Great Pregnancy Leak

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#143 The Great Pregnancy Leak · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It was a damn good there can't you just let
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: her have a conversation without kicking the words that she
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: uses a pie? I can't. It's true. It was a
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: damn Matthew, it was a damn good move. I never
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: heard you talk like that when she's in front of you.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you a young child.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Oh I'm sick of chewlingg.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Sorer.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: It was a production.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to two going dads, and we do have
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: a mom just for a brief period. Grandmother, good grandmother.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: it is the bad. And if you come for advice,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: don't don't do it from us, and no, definitely don't
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: do it from Elie. What there we go.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: She's alive.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Normally you would be relaxing upstairs in my bedroom waiting.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: To say it like that something going on the chimney.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Well, every time that I go to get changed, I'm like,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: all right, coast is clear, and then all of a
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: sudden you come out from the curtains and you're like
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: take it off, big boy, do it slower, and I'm like,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: how did you get up here? Yeah, it's tough living
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: with a sex predator, my Lordie, but we are very
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: thankful that you've decided to jump on the podcast. Ash.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: We were getting a little coffee before. She was very reluctant.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: What very what have I if I explained this is
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: my mom Ellie. Everyone knows. Yeah, Ellie was reluctant to
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: come in the podcast, but I thought we must, we must.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Have her on.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Oh god, we have to let her defend herself. Yes, yes, okay,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: she was dragged the coals through the mat. I would say, yeah,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: the muddy coals. I did it gently. I was like,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: that's what they all say it was. It was hard
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: work keeping this pregnancy a secret, and little did I know,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: hard work for who for me?
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: Okay, I think, no, no, no, we need some context,
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: Yes we do.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: We need time and place. Yes, you were on I'm
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: a celeb, and you did not know about the baby
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: at this stage. You did not know. I knew, and
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: I was part of a very select.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Few who knew inclusive.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Now we were gathering here, Ash came that was back.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: He was here. Yeah. My mum's freaking out because she's like,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, can I say that you were back
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: because you were still in the jungle.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: Come on, man.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I think.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: It's for anyone if you're not there, he was here
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: that it's not as a manner, it's okay.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Just so people understand, I was back from the jungle,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: but the Jungle finale hadn't gone to where yet. So
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I was back, but I was, you know, just in
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: TV land. I was in the jungle still.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: But the main thing was you did not know about
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: number three?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Yes, correct? Correct?
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: So Ash and I are in the kitchen. Ash of
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: course is making them rgarita's, and he doesn't sound like me,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: and he happens to say, hell, Law, do you want
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: to have a margarita with me? And without hesitating, I
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: go no. And then and then Ash goes why not?
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: And I come up, why did you?
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Why did you say no?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: Because I suppose I was a bit worried that Law
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: in the moment of I'm a celeb might go yes.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: You'd say yes.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: You think, hang on a second, Hang on a second.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: You think that the TV show I'm a Celebrity is
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: enough to create a cloud within Laura's mind that she thinks,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: even though she's pregnant, she's allowed to drink alcohol.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Oh you push me, and we corner here, but I
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: have to say yes.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: It's a great show and it's only one drink. It's
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: so it's enough to make a pregnant woman when out
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: she's like, quick, give me, I didn't make it. And
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I think Laura said yes because it's more of a
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: scene to say no. So you say yes.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: So you say yes, and then you just put it
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: to the side.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think she's just been quiet.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: He runs across the room in front of the margaret.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: Anyway, So then I think, oh my goodness, and Ash
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: instantly goes what's going on, and I said.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: We've had a really busy day and she is exhausted.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: If she has a drink, she will just fall asleep and.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: We want to watch it and she'll die.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: And everybody else in the room kind of went yeah, okay,
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: not this guy. Ash looks at me. You pushed me
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: literally into the corner.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: That never happened, that I can tell you what you're there.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: I no, And you said to me, you look me
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: square in the eye, and you said, if you do
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: not tell me the truth, that this is the truth.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: If you do not tell me the truth, I'm going
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: to make a scene right here, right now, and he
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: said it very menacingly. Yes, aggressive, he can be so
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: aggressive that with a seventy three year old say this
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: aggressive do you have to be to a poor old
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: seventy three year old.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: I'm not buying any of these.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not Also, was pushed.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Into the corner, nose to nose. If you do not
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: tell me now what is going on, I'm going to
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: make a say, well, what was I supposed to do? Matthew?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Tell me?
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, Jesus only I.
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: Should be able to defend myself here, okay, before you
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: we decided to fake. Okay, Donald, just keep it down
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: a little bit with I offered her a drink.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: She said, yes, she did to be polite.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: I look over and old mate, oh here is like
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: waving like she's back in an aeroplane. And I hide
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: behind the corner over here because I'm like, I'm I'm
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: not buying this story.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: I'm way too.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Perceived in the corner.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Why Jesus, my talk, me talk, because I've been.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Accused ashton.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Year old woman. That never happened. I was in the corner.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: I coaxed you over.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: A coke?
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: You over, I was I admit the coaxing was aggressive.
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: I was like, it was, yeah, but there was this
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: was a physicality. I was like, get on here now
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: like this, and she sheepishly knew that she was going
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: to spill the beans.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: She couldn't hold on to. It was juggling them around
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: the house all afternoon.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: And then I brang her over and I got close
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: to her face.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: See, not like nose to nose. I was like, I'm gonna.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: You got within her personal space for sure, okay, guilty
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: of that. Guilty. I said, I'm going to ask you
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: one question. I just want you to nod your head.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: And rubbish, rubbish, no, I was at first she said,
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: I said what's going on?
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: She was like, I can't tell you.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: I didn't. I just said thing's going on? And you
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: said yes?
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: And I was like, did you touch her?
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Did you touch her?
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: No?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, Eli, did he touch you? I was like, I said,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you one question. He's not your
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: head and oh it was not God?
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: Did you what did you not say? Tell me in
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: this place? Tell me what is going on right now
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: or I will make a scene. Did you or did
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: you not say that?
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: But you don't?
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: And then is Laura pregnant, and I just said, nod
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: your head in your hand.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, I think I think I've got Ash. I've got
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: to put blame on you. I think your behavior towards
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Ellie in the situation was absolutely unco I'm talking Ellie.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: I'm a bit upset.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: I didn't get to cause a saying if I'm honest.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: I'm not anyway, And I would just like to say
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: that I felt absolutely sick at that moment, thinking what
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: have I done?
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I have now?
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: I have now told Ash before. You know how.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Awful is that. I'm terrible. My job there is done.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: I'm a terrible manner. Poor law is confiding in me.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I'm very hat I'm very convincing.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: I've just spilled the beans. Scared.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: You don't know. I was so.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Scared for my life.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: You don't know this, Elliott, but you actually let it
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: slip in front of me, and I knew before I
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: told me, yes, yes, what?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh that makes.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Me so happy. Oh.
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: I really was thinking dementia. You know what dementia is
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: setting in? Because I have no knowledge of that.
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: I didn't, thankfully I didn't see you a lot between
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: now and then.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: She's been hiding.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I know because I would have used it. I would
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: have been like, yes, can you get me, can get
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: me drink?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: If you don't get me in drinking, I will end you.
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: I will tell you told me, oh my, oh, fabricate
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: a whole story where you pulled me, and.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I said, yes, what ash.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I was so worried that, in this sort of moment
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: of hilarity, hey, guess what that you were going to
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: say it before. Never I think I probably did say
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: to you. I think I did. Matt doesn't know.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: You did tell me that, and you did tell me.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: I heard you say that, you did tell me how
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: horrible you felt, and I just laughed.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Really, I'm glad face. I'm glad that we can
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: now put this behind this, that you two can reconcile.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: But I also found the ultrasound before he told me.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: John the Johnson. The Johnson family is terrible at keeping.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: Secret and I did so well.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't do it before you go.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I want to say one more thing, and I've forgotten
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: what it was. Reason I was reluctant to come on
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: today was because.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I you're pregnant.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: I spoke to Law after all of the event happened,
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: and she said, oh my goodness, that was that was
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: a close thing. The Ash doesn't know, does he? And
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: I said no, I just said that you were very tired,
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: you'd been working all day. You were exact and.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: She knew she was She knew the way you reacted.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: She was like, there's absolutely no way in hell that
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Ash does it, now know?
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: But nobody else in the room, nobody else said what
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: what's going on here? Only Ash was the only one.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: What does that say about the other people in the
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: room there?
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Look, I'm not angry at you at all.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I'm just disapp I'm so happy to hear that.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Before you go, because I hate to break it to
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: the listeners and to you as well, Ellie, that you
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: might die. Well, you were not staying for the full episode.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: Your time here is now done.
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: I could I have the time, and technically as soon
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: as you're born, you're dying.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: There's morbid Thanks before you go, I would like to
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: hear your thoughts about how you feel about becoming a
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: nana for the third time in our family.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just think.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: It's that we got time for Sorry you go.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: No, I just think it's a wonderful blessing. Of course,
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I'm excited and I want lots and lots of mad
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: so's you're not going to stop now.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: I think we are.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: Given up on the other boys.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Thoughts.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: I say that, but it's not happening. It's not happening.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Let's just hope that. Don't listen to this episode.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: But they've you know, they've come out and said they
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: don't want children, so it's their choice.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Don't try and have children with them. How do you
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: feel about it being a girl versus a boy? Three girls?
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: You know, a girlfriend of mine had five boys and
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: when a sixth and Alie Alison, and Alie said, look,
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: we would have gone a sixth anyway, but I would
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: like a change of scenery. And she had a little
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: girl now a baby, healthy baby you all know is
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: a blessing. Change of scenery might have been interesting.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: You can always move, but it took me all but.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: You know, look, I think it'll be great for the girls.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: You know, three little girls together and you're such a
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: good girl, Damn.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Laura, Nana, Marley, Lola.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, bestraighted. Yes, apart from that, if.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: You get the snip and then you'll be castrated. Brothers just yeah,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: well I think that's well.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: I think you're only strictly castrated when you lose your testicles,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: and when you get snip, you don't lose.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: Your f five legs between you and no testicle.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Very good, Ellie, thank you so much for jumping. You're welcome.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Appreciate your time.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: It was a pleasure to catch up with your beautiful
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: young man again.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Apologize, very proud of you as dead. Okay, yeah, you
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: really want me to go, you gotta go away. I'm
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: glad that I did. Thank you. Thank you for being
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: so gentle with my mother. That's my pleasure before I
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: tell you this story. Okay, you have to promise you
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: can't react to what I'm about to say to you.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I can't promise you. So holidays have been recently, school holidays.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Thank god they're over. Jesus Christ.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: We had pony club the song. Wait, what.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Actual pony club?
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I knew you would react like that.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: Oh no, okay, don't do yourself any favors, Matt hit
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: me out.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: It's not I don't know what kind of pony club
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: you're thinking of.
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: I'm thinking of like a bunch of spoilt kids riding
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: their ponies. No, what did you buy a pony? No,
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: if you buy a fucking pony, I will leave right now.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: I am so far in debt right now, I can
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: barely afford to eat. There is no chance that we're
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: buying Marley a pony. Not until next year, I'm jaking.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: We see how we perform in the next financial year.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Ponies ponies are out of the question. But we were
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: down the South Coast, as you know, for a number
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: of weeks. As you also know, it is very hard
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: having your child, both children, every single day after day
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: after day after day. So so there is a pony
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: club down the South coast close to where we are staying.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: My niece goes to it. It's like regularly goes to it. No,
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: it's just during school holidays and all it is okay, okay.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: All it is is a farm, right They have a
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: couple of horses. Kids go and they kind of just
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: work in the stables. Oh okay, so it's not that okay.
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: I thought immediately, I thought, hang on, you've stepped this
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: thing up here. Let's let's just be pony people. I
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: thought you were thinking we're going to be horse people.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: And you know who also thought that who Marley, she
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: was like, pony Club, Oh my god, about finally so
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: people I can get along with. She watches a Pony
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Club show. It's like a Barbie one on Netflix, and
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: you know, everyone rock. So it's a cartoon. It's like
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: it's pony people. It paints a very specific feature of
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: like that final like the finer people in life.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they're like a pony and we've got a pony club,
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: but we have lunch around the ponies.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: And then after they get picked up in a helicopter
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: and go home. And Marley was like, Oh, that's what
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be doing. So we went to pony Club.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Marley was pumped. She was so excited because she was like,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: finally pony. I'm gonna be running. I have my own pony.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: This is gonna be amazing. And she's like, what am
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I gonna wear? So we went to Kmart to buy
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: her new outfit because you need to have long pants,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: you need to have boots, and I'm like, I'm not
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: gonna buy her proper.
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: You got to look like a pony person. I don't
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: know what you mean, No, I just you need to
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: have boots. She's got like either crocs or a pair
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: of Puma shoes. Yeah, yeah, you need like boots. She's
• 18:48
  Speaker 5: just like, I need to saddle.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: And so I got a k fifteen bucks for a
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: pair of boots. Great, that's great. But she was thrilled.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: She had like an outfit sorted in the morning. She
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: woke up, she bounced out of bed, had breakfast, got dress.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Here's my outfitt what do you think? And so we
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: get there and it's the farm. It's been raining a
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: bit as well. The farm is quite muddy, okay, and like,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: oh God forbid the pony people have to walk in
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: the bart. She's not listening because it was it's a
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: beautiful farm. It's just it's a working it's a working farm,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: you know. And there's like counts, give me concrete it please, issuing, Lola,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: don't touch anything. So we get there and the lady
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: who runs it is like she's a very like she's
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: she's a strong woman, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: break my hand. But she's lovely. She's lovely. Let me
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: just this one more time. She's lovely. And I dropped
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Marley off and she's like, where are the horses? Where
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: are the one am I going to get where's the body?
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Like a white one?
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Please by that.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: One for me? And the lady is like, here you go,
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: gave her a shovel, gives her a bucket. Oh, and
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Marley's like, what's this for? I know the difference between
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: a horse and a bucket. Okay. And the first job
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: they do, they're at pony Club for like a good
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: half an hour forty five minutes. They just shovel shit.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: That that's really true, and so I like, I'm just
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: going to, you know, drop and go. I don't want
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: to hang around. So I'm like, all right, man, like
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: have fun. And she's there going fucking keiding.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: This is child labor.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've paid a couple hundred bucks for one hundred
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: bucks three days through oh three day okay, yeah, and
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: he's left in there for three days shoveling shit. Mally
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: was like what have I done to deserve? And Lola
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: was like, I want to go to pony club and
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: then we dropped her off. Laura was like, let's get
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: the fuck out of here. So you're back in the
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: car and then I'm all day. So it's eight thirty
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: to three o'clock. Oh my god, Ma's going to be
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: having a terrible time, like Jesus, And I was like,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pick her up. I was thinking to myself,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: there's no way that she's going to come back for
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: like day two. Yeah, but then mate picked her up.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: She frozen. She's like, he go a carrot.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Molly's like, here you go.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Now, I got to feed the fucking horses, so give
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: us give us five, would you. She's smoking a cigarette
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: to pick red. Yeah, straight to the heavy stuff can be.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: It's like she's gonna go split the bee over here hand.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I was like, what have been done to my marm?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: But I loved it. What happens a bony and bony?
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I love that she was covered in the I was like, mom,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: you punks I've got.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: She's like, I cares like these boots they're not steel cat.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: What you're trying to do? Help me lose my toes?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Three days? Three days that she loved it. Ride a pony.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: She rode the pony Louis I think his name was.
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I mean when I say ride the pony, I mean
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: she's not like bear backing through the bush, like yeah,
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: there's like a little pen and I think they just
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: walk around.
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: And that's probably what she was expecting the whole time, right,
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: like we're going to a pony club.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: You can sit on a pane. I think that she
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: thought she was going to be like galloping through like
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: the woods and over jumps like Spirit. Who's that? Don't
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: you know? Spirit? It's a show about horses. It's a
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: cartoon show Spirit Netflix. I haven't seen it.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: No, we should that sure love it. You'll have to
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: own a pony there, because.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: Then she'll be like, this is what I deserve.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: One day you'll get home and they'll be ride and
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: bust with a saddle horse.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Hey, how where is Oscar's first day back at school?
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: He's pretty good except to wear little shit like he
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: look he's spoilt.
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: In a way that I ride him down on the
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: electric bike and he loves that because he's reride past
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: his mates who were just in their rain drovers. We
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: ride past his mates and he's like, Hi, Like Maley,
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: we plane you make your school. And she'd be like,
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: I went to pony club, I had shovel shit. Oscar writes,
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: He's like Charlie and just gives this look like I'm
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: better than you. Because it was raining this morning. He
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: was like, we're not going to get to ride the bike. Yeah,
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: And I was like, that's all right. We can ride
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: the car down there and it's fun and I'll push
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: you out and you can walk down and it's a
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: long path to from the top to the bottom. And
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: it was raining and I was late and I.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Was like, hey, all right. He was like can you
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: walk down with me? And I was like, sorry, is
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: that how the story is? Coughing? I was like, get
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: the fuck out of my car.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: No.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, oh yeah, and it's
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: a drop and go. So I had to find a park. Dude.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I was the same. I had to message my therapist
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: and be like, I'm going to be late. She's like
• 23:55
  Speaker 4: we're going to be talking about this.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: And I was like tears, tears from oscar. Nah. So
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: we walked down.
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: Was raining, it was really slippery. We walked down through
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: the bush track and it's nicely. It was fine. And
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: then once I got to the end, I'm like, you
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: can see your mates and the bells about to go.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: You gotta go. And then he was like okay, sweet
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: and went off.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: And I was also like good on him because when
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: I was young and my first day back, I would
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: wail like him.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Dude, that was Marley. Oh what hysterical. She loves it though, Yeah,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I thought so. She was like, I don't know, it's
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: super emotional club. Yeah, I was like the hardened Marley
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: of like pony Club days was gone and like the
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: pathetic note I got pathetic.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Perfect.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: But it was one of those mornings like Laura got
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: up early for work and said Marley woke up and
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Laura had already left for work. She was crying over that,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: and I'm not I'm not reacting, but just like I
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: was like, where's your shoes and just know everything? And
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: then the same thing she I was like, I'm going
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: to drop you off, you can just go, and she's like,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: can you walk me in? I was like, fuck, just hysterical. Yeah,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: right when you like walked her in and fully left.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: And Yeah, there's a really lovely lady who I don't
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: know her exact job, but she kind of took my child.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: She kind of just like gives the kids a hug.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: She's like the mom of the school, but she just
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: hangs out at the school and hugs kids. Yeah, she's
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: kind of like a teachers out.
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: It's a sexual predator, like, yeah, my child, how long
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: have you worked at the school for she's worked at
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: the school school?
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I lived here?
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: It was my house.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: But she's great. She's like so awesome and she was
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: giving like a hug, and Molly was like, fuck off,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I want my daddy. Could off be a stranger? It
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: was a nightmare. I yeah, I used to walk.
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my mom used to walk me to school on
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: the way to the bus stop. And I remember as
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: a child crying a lot. Yeah, I don't know what about.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: I was like trying to sympathize.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: But also get out of my car. Get out of
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: my car, but my upholstery. Marley does love the bike. Yeah,
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: it's just like it's just so weather permitting. I prefer
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the bike too. I love the bike. I love the bike.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I was riding the bike yesterday. It's weird. Just on
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: your own. Marley in the back right, were a little
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: right around, got a haircut? Can I have a turn
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: on the back? Absolutely? You can. Well, my big butt
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: fit in there. Yeah you will, yeah, yeah, side saddle,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: don't you. Don't you worry. I'll figure it out. We
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: went for a ride around and we're on the way
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: back home, and there's currently some construction going on. They're
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: fixing one of the roads. Oh yeah, and I think
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: I know the one. Yeah, it's it's annoying, you know,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: cars are always banked up. And so came up to
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: this part where the road was under construction and I
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: thought to myself, I'm just gonna nip onto the footpath.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: You're on a bike against that, right, And so I
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: was on the footpath going slowly right about one hundred
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: and fifty meters. Then you can say one hundred and
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: fifty k's I'm not very slowly. I nip back onto
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: the road. Yeah okay. And then as I knit back
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: on the road, I hear this guy goyhy and I
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: was like, like, someone's having a crack at me. So
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: I turn over my shoulder and he's like oy and
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, Like do you know what? Yeah,
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: there you go.
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: I was gonna say, I have flip that guy the
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: fucking bird.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I God, that's how I think of you.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I'm on the foot path trying to yell at me,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: and even Marley was like, what's he getting so angry about?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I know what you did. However, can I guess can
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I guess what happened? There was wet cement. He right across. No,
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: it's so good. No. So it turns out the person
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: that I gave the finger to, which I am sorry
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: that I did. That was the wrong thing to do.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done it. Now I stand by it.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Marley had a little soft toy that had just fallen
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: out of the bike. Oh ah, and he was holding
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: the toy.
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh, oh, did.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: You get it back? Yeah? But I was like, I
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: can't turn around now, so what did you What did
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: you say to him? I just kept on riding, like,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: no man left behind you.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: You're gonna take a different way to school now, just
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: in case you run into that guy.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: It's a good lesson. That's a good life lesson. It's
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: a good I did tell you.
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: That Oscar lurt the finger from Popper a while back,
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: but he does use it sometimes. And just that just
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: jogged my memory. I was at a kid's party with Oscar.
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: Obviously was just there without a kid. That'd be weird.
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: Your first time.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: Well, that was a misunderstanding. I thought it was pony club.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: I was like, I was like Oscar like trying to
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: get his attention and he just looks over and he
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: goes flip to you to me in front of all
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: the other parents, and I just what do you do?
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: I'm a funny guy. I just thought it was funny.
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, fucking dead.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: And then honestly, my mate Mike, I.
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: Thought it was fucking hilarious. He was like, how did
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: you teach him to do that? I was like, I
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: didn't do it, April. April's dad did, but yeah, I
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: feel like giving the finger to there's someone in traffic
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: probably yeah, yeah, yeah, but I was going to say,
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: like someone like having a cracky you be going on
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: the foot path. So the like I went to, I
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: went to Brunswick. That's like me Byron, Yeah yeah, yeah, beautiful, lovely.
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: My cousins live down there and they're doing all this
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: roadwork and like they're like where the car park is,
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: and people have put who live in the residentials have
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: just taken upon themselves to put their own witches hats up,
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: saying you can't park here. I was like, it's a
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: long weekend. I'm fucking barking there, mate, don't you worry anyway.
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: I pull in with the kids and everything in a
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: rental car. I'm clearly not from there. I had Victorian
• 30:17
  Speaker 4: plates on it. It looked like an absolutely, I'm just
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: blowing a blowing of the highest regard like I am.
• 30:25
  Speaker 4: First of all, I'm from Sydney driving a rental car
• 30:28
  Speaker 4: with Victorian plates on it.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I couldn't be any further with like a tourist flash.
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: It couldn't be any other anymore tourists unless I was
• 30:37
  Speaker 4: driving on the other side of the fucking car.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And I get out and I'm, you know, at the
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: beach with shoes on. But that's even worse. I've been driving.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not dressed with the beach. We're at the beach.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: But I was like, I can always get dress.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: And I shut the door and I saw this some
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: someone looking out peering out over their balcony like someone's
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: parked where I know, and they're like.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: You can't part there.
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: I was like, you're the parking police and she was
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: like no, no, but I leave here, and I was like,
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh, you can fuck off then, and
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: I just got my kids and just kept walking and
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: I was like, they're probably going to fuck my rental
• 31:15
  Speaker 4: car up here. And at first, at first glance, I thought, yeah, fuck,
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: I showed her.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: I showed her, and then.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: I caught up with my parents that were there as well,
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: and Dad's like, did you park along there?
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: I was like yeah, and I was like, how's this though?
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: There's people put parking signs up there, and I'm like
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: He's like, yeah, that's because they're doing roadworks and they're
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: actually taking over all of their driveways and they've been
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: told by the counsel that they can park then.
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: And I was like, oh shit, anyway, she's just trying
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: to help you out.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: Excuse me.
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: So yeah, look, I felt horrible about it, and I
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: was like oh, and Dad was like, you parked there,
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: didn't you. I was like yeah, because you better go
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: move it.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: You didn't tell they wont to fuck off, did you?
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: And I was like oh fuck. And April was like yeah,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: you should have seen what he did. And I was like, oh,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: we're bad people, Okay, we know it. I know, you
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: know it, and we're trying.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: To get better, I know.
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: But Dad's the sort of guy who's like he's the
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: biggest people pleaser. He was like, come on, we're gonna
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: go back and I was like no, and Mom's like, ah,
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: fuck them. Like oh, and so I left it there
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: for like hours and I was like, oh, sheepishly walked back.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: I said to Dad, like, we went, had a lunch
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: at the pub, had a couple of had a couple
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: of beers.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: To get some courage, and I was like, Okay, go
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: back and get the car. Walk back with Dad and
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Dad was like, look at your car there.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: All on it.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I was like the only car there and I was like, oh, fuck.
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: Anyway, she's there leering over again, and I was like,
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: that's it. I was like, Dad, don't look, that's her
• 32:50
  Speaker 4: over there. And Dad's like, sorry about that.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Fuck.
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: And then I just yeah, got in the car and
• 32:57
  Speaker 4: forgot out of there quick, smart.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: But I just reminded me of that.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: Sorry you are listening, lad from the same class. If
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: you are listening, lady who I parked.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: In, I don't even don't try. You're not sorry. I'd
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: do it again, ash. We should have recorded parrant parant jingle.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: We haven't. No, we are going to get to it
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: next week, we promise. No one really gave any feedback
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: on the song with what we have. Then one person
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: gave me a suggestion. I can't remember what it was,
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: but to that person. I did acknowledge it, but I'm
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: going to.
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: Say that our idea was better at the moment, we're
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: telling people off.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: So you're lucky. You're lucky you didn't receive a finger. Yeah,
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: just get one in the mail. But we're going to
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: do We're going to do one quick parant. Yes we are.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Would you like to go Jazzmine my virginity to adjusmine?
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Did you well? Jazzmine? Ad Jasmine is from Sweden and
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: she says, so, my kid is a ginger yeap, moving
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: on fantomn sorry, and not like a slight red tone
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: in his hair. He is ginger ginger. Neither I nor
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: his father are just a few freckles on both of us.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Lit Milkman's got some explaining to do. I knows the
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: old fucking lady staring us down when we were out
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: and about going about our business. She then leans in
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: and asks, how come he's ginger? Something my man would do?
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: You know what the fuck? He's our kid? Sorry, Jasmon,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: he's our kid. We made him. I know because I
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: was there. But hypothetically he could be adopted a sperm
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: donation or a child from a previous marriage. I'm so
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: over talking about the genetics of it all.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: With people I don't even know.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: People are way too fucking nosey. A well, it doesn't help.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of ginger in the photo already, this
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: is a red photo. There's a lot of she's got
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: her self to blame here. She's put them in a
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: very specifically colored top, playing with a toy that's very
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: specifically colored.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: Show me god, oh holy, the slides even ginger, but
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: explaining to beautiful child, beautiful kid, beautiful love it, gorgeous child,
• 35:37
  Speaker 6: very ginger, though Macy was very ginger too, like she's
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: they grow out of it.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: That's horrible. Did you ever did you ever cop any questions?
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: It was more I cop because she's indigenous and she's
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: a ginger, and people will be like and they're just ignorance.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Really, people would be like, so.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: A few of us, how can she be how can
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: she be indigenous as she's ginger? And I remember, like
• 36:01
  Speaker 4: one guy said, someone was like it was a dad
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: at kindy just it was it was I don't want
• 36:07
  Speaker 4: to make this sound like he's a dick, because he's not.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: It was just like ignorance and I played with I
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: play with people Matthew J. Johnson.
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: He was like, you know, how come like she's you know,
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: and I said, oh, you know, just I was like
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: what what background? What background are you and he was like, oh,
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: you know German. It was like, funny, I've never seen you.
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: I've never heard your kids speak German. And he was
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: like what. I was like, you know, mind your own business,
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: and it.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: Was like, did you beat him up in the car.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: We had you know, we had a laugh about him
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: and I walked about I.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: Don't really mind because it is strange and like, also
• 36:45
  Speaker 4: if you know, like April is blonde, I'm dark haired,
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: dark features, and then Macy was a ginger and it's like,
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: is there must be someone along the line in their
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: family that has like April's Arnie has like Struwberry blood hair.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: We just was like, well the Armie, but also Macy's
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: so pale. Yeh. She's like, I don't agree. I was
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: quick cook to react to I apologize and uh it
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: just beautiful as joke about that she goes in the dark.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: And I was like, you know those little you know,
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: beating you know, those deep sea vision there's see through,
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: like yeah, we get close enough.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: Just either that's it gets sorry.
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: Sorry anyway, I would say take a leaf out of
• 37:41
  Speaker 4: Maddie Jay's book, and if someone questioned.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: You, just Ash, we have some questions we do Matt,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I'll go first. Ye's a question from Hannah. Hello, Hannah,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: a normal name for once, is it? Hannah? Do you
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: think dad should take equal parental.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: Leave when baby is born, not at the same time
• 38:04
  Speaker 4: as mum, but as the primary care It's a.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Very good question, Ash and Hannah. Look, I think I
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: think it's interesting when you talk to the older dads
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: who never took any time off, like they were kind
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: of lucky. I think my dad took the morning off
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: for the birth and he was back at work at lunchtime.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: That's the old generation. That's why it's crazy. That's so crazy.
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I think that was for the first child. The rest
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: of us, you know, it's like if you had it yet, yeah,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: is like one, two, three, four, not yet. It's amazing
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: that workplaces now are acknowledging the importance of parental leave
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: for dads and for mums. And I think, look, I
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: know that not all places are as flexible as others,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: so it may not be an option, but if it
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: is an option to take ten did parental leave. I
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: think dad's are absolutely stupid if they don't take it.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I would also like check the legislation what's actually
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: because a lot of people don't. They're just like, okay,
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: well my company won't they give him two weeks, and
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: that's all right, because I know when I had Oscar
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: the first kid, the company I worked for, they offered
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: three months okay, but was in conjunction with a particular legislation, right,
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: which is you can take three months as a primary
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: career okay, and the just stat decks and and proof
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: of that to be to take that time off. But
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: also the company worked for need to agree with that too,
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: because there would be businesses out there and be like, no,
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: what it's like, Well, that't make anyone unhappy. But I
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: know I worked with before I had kids. I worked
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: with two guys that did that that after a certain
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: amount of time and mum went back to work. Usually
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: because you also loved a career, very career driven, they
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: would go, okay, well I'm going to take three months off,
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: and I think, like, I think it gives you an
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: opportunity to bond with that child playing more like for me,
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: I took two weeks off with Oscar, but because of
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: some complications we had, I ended up taking three months
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: off unpaid, completely unpaid, because it was like, I need
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: to go now, and they were like.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Do your thing.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: It will support you as much as possible. And over
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: that time it changed absolutely everything. Here's something a friend
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: of mine who's got a nine month old was like,
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: he's sort of starting to be able to bond with
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: that kid more because he's more there's more for him
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: to do now when I think, but he's still got
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: to work, but he's he's like, I wish I could
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: have more time off now.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's the thing.
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: If you get to like nine months okay, and your
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: partner is coming to the end of their parental leave
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: and she's really excited about going back to it because
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: it's also great for It was great for April to
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: go back and have adult conversations. Then you're going to
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: have three months of you get three months of complete
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: bonding with that child. It changed me that time because
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: I would be you know, I can't wear the first
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: sort of first generation where it's not like, oh, go
• 41:21
  Speaker 4: straight back to work. But I had to conform to
• 41:23
  Speaker 4: that right and I kind of felt like I missed
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: out on so much until it was like, unfortunately it
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: came out of bad circumstances, but it was like at
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: the end of it was like the best thing that.
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: It's totally I think. Number one to give mom a break,
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: you know, in the first few months. Obviously newborn babies
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: are so dependent on mum. But after that period, if
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: mum wants to go back to work, to allow them
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: to do that by their dad being a home amazing
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: or just having a break from being the sole parent,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: like the sole caregiver. Yeah, for the child. Number two,
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: like you said, having that bond, having that bond is
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: so important, and it also lets you understand and like
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: what's required talk after a child, Like there are so
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: many people that are like, well, you know, I don't
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: know not long after the baby, and you're also good,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: I don't you do it? And it's like if you
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: have that one on one time, you understand all the
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: nuances of looking after a child from morning tonight, what's required, items, schedules, routines,
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: et cetera. It also means that your wife is not
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: going to be stressed out any situation where you have
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: to look after the child.
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and also like I think when it comes to
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: the time when you know mum and dad are both
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: around and you know baby or child will go, their
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: first instinct is to go to mum, right, But if
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: you've spent three months with them, then that's like, hang
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: on a minute, They've.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: Got two options.
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: They've got two options now, because I think a lot
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: of the time dudes don't take that time off or
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: didn't take that time off previously to now is because
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: they didn't know what to do, yes, right, And it's
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: like I didn't know what to do. But you you know,
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: we for thousands of years men and women have been procreating,
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: and we just it's just it's sort of part of
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: our DNA and in the end, you can't be completely
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: non maternal. So like I found that into that deep
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: end was probably the best thing for me now as
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: a parent, because I could deal with it then that
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: I've just like it's kind of like a three month probation.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: Right, it's like a trial period.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: You know, want to get to the end of that.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: But like, you learn so much more if you're on
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: the job all the time. But I also think it's
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: a perfect way to share the load beyond that because
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: I think there are so many dads who don't take
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: that time to have one on one specific time with
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: the child. They have no appreciation for how hard it is.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: And I think, once you have that one on one
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: time where it's just you and bub at home, holy shit, dude,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: it is so incredibly hard. I was like, Ah, this
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: job sucks. Yeah, it's like having the worst boss. Yeah
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: you have.
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: You've got a child for a boss, like a baby
• 44:07
  Speaker 4: for a boss. And I completely understand that a lot
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: of a lot of men don't think that they can
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: do it in terms of like their job, or they
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: might not have the access to or they might not
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: know they have access to things that the government provide.
• 44:24
  Speaker 4: But I would say, if you want to do it,
• 44:27
  Speaker 4: fucking do it.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: Do it. Like like I said, if you can.
• 44:32
  Speaker 4: I understand that some people can't just do that and
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: they've got to work and make extra money on top
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: to survive because of how expensive shit is. But like
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: I would say, if you're thinking about, like, Okay, I
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: would like to spend more time with my kid as
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: a dad and like a new kid as a dad,
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: hit your HR up, hit check fair work, check all
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: these things because there are things there that we don't
• 44:55
  Speaker 4: know about that you could, you know, take advantage of that.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: Other places don't. That's being all serious because weird. We
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: just was flitting people off and now we're telling people
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: to take time.
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: Take one's.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Spend more time with your children. Ash. Yes, last question
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: before we go, what are the top three baby or
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: toddler items that are a scam? Oh? So many?
• 45:20
  Speaker 4: You go first, The whole system's a scam. Man, it's
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: very hippie that word. It's a scam. Life of scam,
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: given kids a scam.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Just relax, fas, don't worry about it all.
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: Don't worry about life man um.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: Firstly for me, yes, nappy bin.
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: Oh, just put it in the regular bin and we
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: had a nappy bin for both and look handy for
• 45:54
  Speaker 4: it's there, but it's just a more expensive bin.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's tiny, two nappies and it's full. Then you
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: pull the thing out. It's so fucking heavy. I remember
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: once I that's right. I was like, oh, do you
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: want to be funny? Two story building? Not funny? Do
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: you want to be easy? For me?
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: I might just lower it off the balcony so I
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: have to take it through the house. Lowered it and
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: it was so heavy it slipped out of my hands.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Boof because of the nappy bin. Because the fucking nappy.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: This is controversial, okay, but keeping with nappies, change tables, yes, okay,
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: I think there are a waste of space. It's a
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: first child thing. You're like, gotta get a change table,
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: Gotta get one, gotta be stacked done with my wipes,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: a my nappies. Yeah, I know.
• 46:46
  Speaker 4: With Macy we had the change table phone bit, the
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: soft bit, because I think it's that's important.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: But it was on top of her chest of drawers.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: She even rolled off once into a draw like have
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: it take heavens, but then the whole draw. It's just fine.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: But I agree, I just changed on the floor. You're
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: a floor to floor changer.
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: I never used the change table. I mean handy.
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: I didn't bad for your back all fours like a cat.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: I can see the cat over. There have been like
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: don't bring me.
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: Number two I had was those electric rockers. I never
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: used to give me out. It's essentially a ride for
• 47:31
  Speaker 4: the kid, wouldn't it make you season?
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: No? The manual one fine, and they're so cheap.
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: The manual the bounce because Also, it gives the kid
• 47:40
  Speaker 4: opportunity to realize that if they move their feet.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Hang on, yeah, I can bounce. I control this.
• 47:45
  Speaker 4: It's like have you ever got into a hammock and thought,
• 47:48
  Speaker 4: hang in a minute, I could swing.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: I like to have one leg out.
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but you've got control. Imagine if you didn't have controls.
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: You want to give someone someone stopped, someone stopped.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: You want to give you a child autonomy? Yeah, I
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: don't want to be like just sitting there.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Someone I've got just like we're going forwards now.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: It's essentially a roller coaster for a child. My number
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: two baby shoes, damn newborn baby shoes? What like the
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: cute para Nikes? Oh my god? Like how adorable they are?
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: There's the miniature.
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: Can we also talk about how round the bottom of
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: baby's feet?
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: H I can't remember because they're so chubby. They're just
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: like sancing around.
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: So you want to give that up with a fucking
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: a flat surface.
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: No, one's it's pointless. It's pointless.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: It's all.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Do you know what it's all for the vanity of
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: the parents. Yes, it Look at my child's Apparently it's
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: really bad for their feet as well. Apparently we are
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: very helpful. Yes, go number three.
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: Okay, So mine's not a whole product, it's part of
• 49:05
  Speaker 4: a product, if you would say. So, you've got the pram,
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: the forward facing pram, not the back facing pram.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, so they've yet forward thoughts.
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: Uh. And they've got the lid yep for the sun,
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: the hood rain the hood hood if you will, jinks.
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: And it's got the tiny little flap at the top
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: so you can check in on them.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: They're great, beautiful because you don't want to wake them up,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: you know, if they're napping.
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: But if they're sitting facing forward, I'm just getting a
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: knife full of a crate of the cap of their head.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: And you're like, oh, then I've got to go. I've
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: got to flip it back.
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: It's such a pointless fla it's a pointless flat.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: It's a point flat, like a pointless poet sticking with clothing.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go with bows. Vanity, vanity, the vanity
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: of the parents out. The child hates it. Cute though
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: a little bit kid.
• 50:02
  Speaker 4: So look, I would say they're useless in terms of
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: their functionality.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: Good for a phone, very useful if you're like babies. Yeah,
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: I can't hold his neck up. But look how straight
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: my bow is. If you have any items that you
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: think absolutely pointless scams, if we're being scammed out there
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: by the incorporations, do you have one? I want to
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: talk about it. I can't wait, I can't wait, can't wait.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: It would be really quick. Okay. It was those bibs,
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: the plastic bibs with the I was going to say bigs,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: but I.
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: Was saying I was going to say, it's the bib
• 50:34
  Speaker 4: with the catcher in the bottom.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: It's too skinny for the catch ship and catching no
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: one as if a kid's like I need to spit
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: this out, I'm gonna say they're like I think bibs
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: in general, like just you're gonna wash a bib, gonna
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: wash the clothes? I just I feed my child. Just extra, Yeah,
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: them down, That's what we have time for. If you've
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode, any episode of Two Doting Dances, we
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: would love it. We would appreciate it more than life itself.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: If you would give us a review, subscribe and make
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: a few comments.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, or you can join us on social dads two Dads, Instagram, TikTok,
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: and Facebook.
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, I think that's good. I think we're seeing that's everything.
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: We will see you next time. Ellie, if you can,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: just on your body, just point to where Ash was
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: was physical with you, please please do it, point to
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: your breasts.
• 51:38
  Speaker 4: Any of me canceled if we did kiss a little bit.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: Goodbye. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 51:58
  Speaker 4: and extend that respect to all our original and torrestrate
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: island of peoples today