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Dear Diary- Prayer · The Living Freed Podcast

• 0:20
  okay so this is gonna be the dear diary segment
• 0:24
  this is gonna gosh picture more like Unfiltered
• 0:31
  this is gonna be the most unfiltered unedited
• 0:34
  version of me. You're gonna get with these podcasts
• 0:38
  probably um It is gonna focus more on like, okay
• 0:42
  What's going what continues to repeat itself
• 0:45
  in my life? Like what has been brought to my
• 0:47
  attention? What keeps showing up, you know, like
• 0:50
  when you Are buying a red car or you're shopping
• 0:54
  for a red car and then you notice how many red
• 0:56
  cars on the road just kind of that but with like
• 0:58
  your walk in life through the world um so right
• 1:03
  that's what it's gonna be about um you're gonna
• 1:06
  get a lot of my rambles a lot of my side quests
• 1:09
  a lot you're gonna get really good insight into
• 1:12
  how my brain works and if something resonates
• 1:14
  with you great and if it doesn't just skip these
• 1:18
  segments because these are gonna be just random
• 1:20
  sporadic bonus episodes okay perfect And I'm
• 1:24
  going to just be talking to myself. So I talk
• 1:26
  to myself a lot. You all know that. And we're
• 1:28
  going to just continue to do that. So this week
• 1:35
  slash the last two weeks, I would say what's
• 1:37
  been on my mind a lot lately. OK, two things.
• 1:41
  One of them is really kind of scary and dark
• 1:43
  and deep. And then the other one. And that's
• 1:45
  been going on for like a month. And then the
• 1:46
  other one, not so much. So the first thing is
• 1:49
  revelations. I'm not going to dive into what's
• 1:51
  been going on with revelations in my life lately.
• 1:54
  But I will say that every time it's gotten a
• 1:57
  chance to pop up, it has. Any podcasts I listen
• 1:59
  to, any sermons I'm listening to when I've gone
• 2:01
  to church, when I'm reading my book, revelations
• 2:04
  keeps popping up. And I haven't really composed
• 2:08
  my thoughts about that yet, so I'm still sitting
• 2:11
  on that like I do most things. But another one
• 2:14
  that's been popping up a lot is prayer. Personally,
• 2:18
  I've always been a big prayer girl. Y 'all know
• 2:20
  that. I did a whole episode on prayer, how it
• 2:23
  how i looked at it wrong and then i changed my
• 2:26
  focus and view on it as i got older and i realized
• 2:29
  like me talking to god all the time is really
• 2:32
  just me talking to god but then also prayer has
• 2:36
  a play in that so talking about prayer um i am
• 2:41
  noticing you guys are and i'm so sorry y 'all
• 2:43
  are gonna get so many ums and likes on this because
• 2:45
  again it's me rambling it's unfiltered unedited
• 2:49
  you're gonna get what you get so listen don't
• 2:51
  listen love you and I apologize. So, prayer.
• 2:56
  Okay, a few weeks ago I started typing out what
• 3:01
  prayer is or different types of prayers to do
• 3:05
  and it really got the ball rolling as it does
• 3:07
  with most things. I started reading a lot more
• 3:10
  scripture on it. I've picked up my or I have
• 3:13
  re -picked up my prayer books that I've read
• 3:15
  in the past and It just continued to sit with
• 3:20
  me, sit on me. I continued to ponder it because
• 3:25
  I realized as a friend, as a Christian friend
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  and as a friend, I don't pray presently a lot
• 3:34
  over my friends with them. I will pray for them
• 3:37
  when I'm in my room. I will pray for them when
• 3:39
  I'm in the car. I will, you know, shoot them
• 3:43
  a text and let them know that I'm praying over
• 3:45
  them, whether they need the prayer or ask for
• 3:47
  it or not. But I don't really presently openly
• 3:52
  sit in it with them. Now, if we're in small group
• 3:55
  and someone asks for someone to pray, I typically
• 3:57
  will volunteer. If I'm leading small group, I'll
• 4:00
  just do it. But I think there's a lot of power
• 4:04
  in having someone pray with you in that moment
• 4:07
  or knowing someone's praying with you. There's
• 4:11
  this girl, Allie, I say girl, she's older than
• 4:15
  me. She's my Tuesday night small group leader.
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  and she's a very prophetic prayer. She is the
• 4:21
  type of person that, just like myself, she forgets
• 4:25
  everybody else is there. Homie's prayers could
• 4:27
  go on for 15 -20 minutes if no one stopped her
• 4:31
  by clearing their throat. And that's what I love
• 4:33
  about her. She just starts talking. She literally
• 4:35
  is like, well God, today the sky was blue and
• 4:38
  then it rained and I thought it was so cool that
• 4:40
  you had it rain because it was getting so humid
• 4:42
  out and you can tell she's genuinely just having
• 4:45
  a conversation with God. But then she'll stop
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  and she'll be like, but now I see, and she'll
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  kind of fall into prophetic praying, which is
• 4:52
  very cool to have it be so natural and not forced
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  and just part of the conversation. But on top,
• 5:04
  like going along with that, again, this is me
• 5:06
  just rambling, so sorry. I was thinking about,
• 5:10
  OK, yes, I've had friends that when they're on
• 5:12
  the phone with me and they're telling me something's
• 5:15
  going on, Especially long distance friends like
• 5:17
  very long distance friends while we're on the
• 5:19
  phone. I've said hey, do you mind if I pray over
• 5:22
  that right now with you and Obviously, no one
• 5:26
  ever says no to that so we do but it's awkward
• 5:28
  and I feel uncomfortable doing it sometimes But
• 5:31
  that's because I don't do it enough. Oh My gosh
• 5:36
  you guys my dining table was delivered Yay, I
• 5:39
  just got the notification on my watch. It's oval.
• 5:42
  Oh, I'm so freaking pumped okay um anyways wow
• 5:48
  i'm wait that would make sense it was supposed
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  to come today i'm acting like it came early it
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  came on time praise god um okay so yes prayer
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  so that being said i've been sitting on prayer
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  i'm like what is prayer looking like in my life
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  how is it showing up in my life for others am
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  i doing it just to have a relationship with god
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  am i doing it to intercede for others how How
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  obvious are like what's the word I'm looking
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  for how Open am I about my prayer for the people
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  in my life for example, I Don't think my friends
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  know this but about a year and a half two years
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  ago now I had three girlfriends we were all in
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  like our own side circle group as most friend
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  groups are you have your different groups for
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  different things and We are all single all four
• 6:42
  of us were sick and now everyone and now everyone
• 6:46
  is Married engaged dating and I'm not and I have
• 6:54
  no problem with that because I'm so excited for
• 6:56
  them But that being said I don't think I ever
• 6:58
  told them how much how often Almost almost not
• 7:03
  literally but almost every day I was praying
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  over them when they were single that they would
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  find their husbands that God would Allow them
• 7:11
  to know what that love feels like to have that
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  comfort in that company That it would be from
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  God and I prayed over it all the time. Well We
• 7:21
  all got to dinner if you got dinner together
• 7:23
  a few weeks ago And as we're sitting there, I
• 7:25
  was like, wow, okay Like this friend just got
• 7:27
  married a few weeks ago. This friend just got
• 7:29
  engaged like two weeks ago This friend's boyfriend
• 7:32
  is flying across the country to come see her
• 7:34
  every other week. That's at least what it feels
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  like and how cool it is to see just that transformation
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  in a year and a half and not once did i ever
• 7:42
  tell them like hey i pray every single day over
• 7:45
  your relationships or your future relationships
• 7:48
  and your future marriages and i think it probably
• 7:51
  could have meant a lot but i'm a very private
• 7:54
  person and i'm a very i live my life very quietly
• 7:58
  with what i do for the lord i'm not super open
• 8:01
  about everything that god is using me in or doing
• 8:05
  with me or what i'm active in because of him
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  i keep a lot of it very close to me and quiet
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  um and now i wonder sometimes if they have known
• 8:16
  would they have felt more encouraged during that
• 8:18
  season knowing that someone is praying over them
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  every single day okay so that's like that's one
• 8:24
  of my side track thoughts the other thought is
• 8:29
  i just got a voice not just I just opened a voice
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  memo that was sent to me a few days ago by my
• 8:35
  long distance ride or die best friend and the
• 8:40
  full whole voice memo was a prayer she was like
• 8:42
  I just want you to know I feel led to pray over
• 8:44
  you right now so I'm going to pray and it was
• 8:47
  two minutes and it was like the perfect two minutes
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  that I needed it was the exact prayer that I
• 8:52
  needed and I just felt so seen and loved, not
• 8:57
  just by her, but by God. And I felt like God
• 9:00
  was so present in my life because of it. And
• 9:04
  like how much effort, how much time was it for
• 9:06
  her to just send me that voice memo? Probably
• 9:09
  not a lot. And seeing like vice versa, if I was
• 9:11
  just sending voice memos to people or, you know,
• 9:15
  doing the quick phone calls of like, hey, what's
• 9:17
  going on? I feel the need to pray over you, whatever.
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  How much more on fire we would all feel, how
• 9:23
  much more free, how much more all like seen we
• 9:27
  would all feel if someone was reaching out to
• 9:29
  you and be like, Hey, I'm praying over you right
• 9:32
  now. Listen to it. Don't listen to it. That's
• 9:34
  fine. That's in your control, but I'm going to
• 9:37
  be surrender to God in this and I'm going to
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  make sure you feel seen and loved through this
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  and end this. Right. Okay. So That really encouraged
• 9:47
  me again because I don't really send the voice
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  memos. I shoot you a text, hey praying over you
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  don't know what's going on in your life or if
• 9:54
  I'm already on the phone with you and you're
• 9:56
  telling me what's going on I'm like do you mind
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  if we take a minute to pray over this because
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  I want to pray over you and again presently I
• 10:03
  do pray over people when they're telling me what's
• 10:05
  going on but I really wish when I was getting
• 10:07
  coffee with girlfriends if I was like hey what
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  What do you need prayer over that I can pray
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  over for you in this very moment and for you
• 10:18
  moving forward until you don't need prayer over
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  anymore? I think it would cause a lot more community
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  to be a lot closer. I think it would cause people
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  to feel loved. It would create openness. It would
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  create communication. It would take what's being
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  hidden and bring it to light. because our enemy
• 10:45
  thrives with having us isolated. And I think
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  we all, to a degree, have a fear of being known
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  and feeling seen because we want to come off
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  a certain way. Not that we want to come off perfect,
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  but we like to appear a certain way to those
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  closest to us and those around the world and
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  those from the outside looking in. and sometimes
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  it is scary to just open up and tell people like
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  hey this is what i struggle with like if people
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  knew that i was struggling right now over like
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  the thought of prayer for others because i love
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  praying over other people but like how does that
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  actually show up in my life or what does that
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  look like then i think they would be really surprised
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  but i'm not ashamed of it i'm not embarrassed
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  of it it's just like a thought that's been rambling
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  in my head and me realizing that I need to step
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  it up a notch. Like I need to step my prayer
• 11:30
  life up a full notch. Because yeah, it's chill.
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  It's me and Jesus having a conversation. We're
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  besties. We're homies. That's my Heavenly Father
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  that knows every little nook and cranny about
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  my life, my heart, my soul, my body, like all
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  of it. But what is it like to allow others to
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  let you into your life because what an honor
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  that is too for them to allow you to pray over
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  them and your spirits come together to connect
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  with the spirit so anyways that probably made
• 12:01
  very little sense to many people i think it's
• 12:03
  very cool though oh side note i went to a prayer
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  meeting thing last night with my other small
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  group and it was prophetic praying um and the
• 12:15
  guy which i loved i love when people do this
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  i love Lover Structure, I love structure. So
• 12:23
  he had four questions He gave us ten minutes
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  to just sit on those questions pray about those
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  questions and kind of just be pulled towards
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  scripture or imagery or words or whatever and
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  it was so cool like one of them was like I'm
• 12:38
  gonna totally lose the mic one second. Where's
• 12:40
  my phone? The first question was something along
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  the lines of I have it saved. Okay Question one
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  God, what do you think about Wilmington? And
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  it was so cool that Everybody for the most part
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  got those same words or the same imagery or the
• 13:00
  same feeling or the same idea of God and what
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  he wants for Wilmington and what he thinks about
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  Wilmington and Just seeing how in tune our spirits
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  are and someone said this to me once and it was
• 13:13
  moments like last night that reminded it reminded
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  me of it which was The Holy Spirit that intercedes
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  for us is the Holy Spirit that's inside me, that
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  is inside you, that is inside your friend, that
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  is inside their grandma. Like we all have the
• 13:27
  same Holy Spirit and it's functioning because
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  we're a body and we are one, but this is the
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  time we get to see it really function as the
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  one. Okay, so that was my side note, side thought,
• 13:40
  my little trail, my little diary sesh. that y
• 13:45
  'all got to see into and hear what's what's been
• 13:49
  on my mind because I get sidetracked easily and
• 13:52
  these are conversations that aren't going to
• 13:54
  happen a lot um in the beginning of the podcast
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  like actual episodes so this is your dear diary
• 14:02
  episode that you get to hear me ramble about
• 14:04
  and what's been sitting on my heart and in my
• 14:07
  mind and every other thing So yeah, that's all
• 14:11
  I got. I don't wish I had more for you because
• 14:13
  I would continue to ramble and nobody needs to
• 14:16
  hear that. Not a single person at all. Uh, you
• 14:19
  could, yeah. Okay. Anyways, that's it. I don't
• 14:24
  know. How do you end a diary? Um, like dash Hannah
• 14:29
  Liz, I guess. Okay. That's what we're going to
• 14:32
  say. Dash Hannah Liz or bye. Anyways, bye y 'all.
• 14:57
  Thanks for watching.