Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are the Cheapest Person in the Room
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to start with a number that stopped me cold. A 2023 LinkedIn survey found that 47 percent of respondents said they didn't approach a potential mentor because they assumed they couldn't afford them — or that they weren't worth the mentor's time. Luna: Wow. That's basically half of people self-selecting out before they even try. And 'afford' — we're not talking about paying for a mentor, are we? Lucas: Right. It's not about writing a check. It's the perceived cost of the mentor's time, the energy to prepare, the fear of being a burden. But the result is the same: people who could really benefit from guidance never ask for it. So today I want to talk about how to find a mentor when you are the cheapest person in the room — when money anxiety is your default. Luna: I love that framing. And I have a personal story that fits. Early in my career, I reached out to a senior executive I admired. She emailed back and said, 'Sure, let's meet. My rate for a first coffee is $50.' Lucas: She asked you to pay for a coffee meeting? Luna: Yes. And my first reaction was, 'I can't afford that.' I was making $35,000 a year. $50 felt huge. But then I thought, maybe this is a test. So I scraped together the money, showed up, and she was amazing. She told me later that the $50 wasn't about the money — it was a filter. She wanted people who were serious enough to invest something. Lucas: That is such a powerful counterexample. Because my instinct would have been to say, 'A mentor should never charge.' But what you're describing is a signaling mechanism. And it worked. Luna: It did. And I learned that sometimes the barrier is in our own head. But that doesn't mean everyone can or should pay. So let's talk about the zero-dollar approaches first, because that's what most people need. Lucas: Absolutely. The first thing I tell people is: stop thinking about mentorship as a transaction. It's a relationship. And relationships can start with a contribution that costs nothing but thoughtfulness. For example, offer to write a LinkedIn recommendation for the person you're approaching. That takes fifteen minutes, it's genuine, and it shows you value their expertise. Luna: That's smart. Or you could offer to summarize a recent industry report they might not have time to read. I had a mentee who did that for me — sent me a one-page bullet-point recap of a 50-page PDF on AI in marketing. I was so impressed I immediately made time for her. Lucas: Exactly. That's what I call 'generous curiosity.' You're not asking for a handout. You're saying, 'I see you as someone who can help me, and I want to bring something to the table.' It could be as simple as a thoughtful question about a project they mentioned on LinkedIn. Luna: Let's talk about the LinkedIn approach specifically. Because that's where most mentorship cold emails happen. What's the one thing people get wrong? Lucas: They write a novel. They explain their entire life story and why they need a mentor. Instead, send three sentences: who you are, one specific thing you admire about their work, and a single question. That's it. Make it easy for them to say yes. Luna: And if they say no, or don't reply, that's okay. It's not personal. They're busy. You can follow up once after two weeks, then move on. Lucas: Right. Now, there's another angle for people who are truly cash-strapped: volunteer to help with a task. Many senior professionals would love help organizing their inbox, scheduling, or doing research. Offer two hours of your time. That's worth more than $50 to them. Luna: I've seen that work. A friend of mine offered to help a VP with her slide deck for a conference. That turned into a regular mentoring relationship. And she never spent a dime. Lucas: The theme here is reciprocity. Not equal exchange — you're not paying them back for their years of experience — but a gesture that says you're engaged. Now, there's one more zero-cost strategy I want to mention: be the connector. Introduce your potential mentor to someone else in your network who could help them. That's a gift that costs nothing but your relational capital. Luna: That's a great point. And it shows you're thinking about their needs, not just your own. Which brings me to the flip side: what about when paying actually makes sense? I mentioned my $50 coffee story. When would you recommend someone offer to pay? Lucas: If you're asking for a very specific, high-value deliverable — like a formal review of your business plan or a mock interview — offering to pay a modest fee can actually accelerate the relationship. It signals you value their time and you're serious. But I'd still say start with a no-cost approach first. Luna: Agreed. And if you do pay, frame it as an investment in yourself, not a bribe. Say, 'I'd like to compensate you for your time because I know how valuable it is.' That's respectful. Lucas: Let's step back. The core message for anyone who feels they can't afford a mentor: you can. The currency is not money — it's effort, thoughtfulness, and genuine interest. If you can bring those, you are not the cheapest person in the room. You're the most prepared. Luna: I'd add one more thing: be patient. Mentorship doesn't have to be a formal monthly meeting. It can be a five-minute DM exchange every few months. That's free. Lucas: If today was actually useful to you, the way these stay ad-free is listener support. Anyone who's ever hesitated to reach out because of cost — this episode is for you. And if it helped, buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo helps us keep going. Luna: Yeah, that's exactly right. We hear from listeners all the time who say these conversations changed how they think about their career. That means a lot. Lucas: So to tie it all together: whether it's a LinkedIn recommendation, a one-page summary, or a simple thank-you note, you have more to offer than you think. And the mentor who's right for you will see that. Luna: I love that. One last thought — what's the one takeaway you want people to remember? Lucas: That the biggest barrier to mentorship is not money. It's the story you tell yourself about not being enough. So write a different story. Start with a small, generous act. The rest will follow. Luna: Great note to end on. Thanks, Lucas.