Latest / Relatables / DILEMMAS: COMMUNICATION (AROUND S*X)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables.
- 0:01Speaker 2: Yeah, if I could tell my younger self anything, it
- 0:03Speaker 2: would be if you've dated someone previously, you can't be
- 0:06Speaker 2: friends with them.
- 0:07Speaker 1: Oh my god, you can't.
- 0:08Speaker 2: You can't have any sort of platonic relationship with him
- 0:10Speaker 2: at all.
- 0:11Speaker 1: No, do you know what they look like naked?
- 0:13Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 0:25Speaker 1: The Relatables podcast that says it by myself, mister Jake
- 0:27Speaker 1: Craig aka car Crushing Daddy and my partner in from
- 0:31Speaker 1: mister Audie aka Farting Mummy. Didn't like that one rare
- 0:38Speaker 1: one before we started record, brought it in with him
- 0:41Speaker 1: to be fair to me. I can still taste it.
- 0:43Speaker 2: I had protein, that's my love, protein noodles with chicken
- 0:48Speaker 2: for lunch.
- 0:49Speaker 1: It's going through you quick. Yeah, it's gone through me
- 0:51Speaker 1: very very quick.
- 0:52Speaker 2: But Baddies Today is a Dilemma's episode with the prompt being.
- 0:58Speaker 1: Archives. But I actually would you. I wanted to give
- 1:01Speaker 1: it a.
- 1:01Speaker 2: Title, okay for mine anyway, I reckon you could probably
- 1:05Speaker 2: title yours the same communication, because mine are all about
- 1:09Speaker 2: communication or their lack of communication.
- 1:11Speaker 1: Yeah, mine, I can argue at least my first one.
- 1:13Speaker 1: A couple of them could be do to communication before.
- 1:15Speaker 2: We get into dilemmas. We normally start with a dilemma
- 1:18Speaker 2: of our own. If we have one, do you have one?
- 1:25Speaker 2: Not off the top of my head, You don't have
- 1:26Speaker 2: one off the top of your head. Nah, I mean either,
- 1:29Speaker 2: life's blissful. Way, I'll tell you what my dilemma is.
- 1:33Speaker 2: There's not enough bad. He's on patreons a.
- 1:36Speaker 1: Dilemma for both.
- 1:37Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a dilemma for both of us. And
- 1:39Speaker 2: how could we fix that dilemma?
- 1:41Speaker 1: Well, we could tell them to head over to patreon
- 1:43Speaker 1: dot com forward such relatable sixty.
- 1:45Speaker 2: Nine and sign up for eight dollars ninety nine a
- 1:47Speaker 2: month and you get an extra episode every single week
- 1:49Speaker 2: the book Club Early and this Dilemma's episode you are
- 1:52Speaker 2: listening to right now, extended version, which is probably an
- 1:54Speaker 2: extra two to three dilemmas, depending on how we're feeling
- 1:57Speaker 2: at the thirty five minute mark.
- 1:59Speaker 1: Yeah, should we start adding I mean once again, I
- 2:02Speaker 1: think I said this once. The boys are moving up
- 2:05Speaker 1: in the world. Should we do Monday ad free?
- 2:08Speaker 3: Ooh?
- 2:08Speaker 1: We all.
- 2:11Speaker 2: Big call common below if you want the Monday main episode,
- 2:14Speaker 2: add free on Patreon.
- 2:16Speaker 1: Because we begin to that whoa talking about ads? Peeking? Perfect?
- 2:25Speaker 1: No no, No, they don't pay us to say anything
- 2:27Speaker 1: in this one. Mate. Yeah me to go first. Yeah sure.
- 2:33Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I met on Bumble in June last year.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Our connection is wholesome and real, and we became official
- 2:39Speaker 1: two months in. I'm liking this and we went to
- 2:42Speaker 1: New Zealand together on a holiday three months later in
- 2:45Speaker 1: November last year. I'm waiting for the butt. I said,
- 2:47Speaker 1: it's a good way to challenge a relationship and it did.
- 2:50Speaker 1: The trip was amazing. He's amazing to travel with and
- 2:53Speaker 1: we spoke a lot about our past travels. He speaks
- 2:56Speaker 1: very highly of his trip to Japan at the start
- 2:58Speaker 1: of twenty twenty five, a trip to New Zealand with
- 3:01Speaker 1: his friends and sister, and he went to Europe and
- 3:03Speaker 1: England with his ex to meet her family in twenty
- 3:06Speaker 1: twenty three. When we first got together, I asked him
- 3:08Speaker 1: about his past relationship singular. He's on the odd one
- 3:11Speaker 1: a four year relationship which by my correct calculations ended
- 3:17Speaker 1: around the start of twenty twenty four. Basically, she cheated
- 3:20Speaker 1: on him, and he told me he spent at least
- 3:23Speaker 1: eight months fully processing, so he's been single and healed
- 3:26Speaker 1: for a while, right, wrong. That's what she wrote. Over
- 3:32Speaker 1: halfway through our trip in New Zealand, I realized they
- 3:35Speaker 1: never actually knew who he went to Japan with. I
- 3:38Speaker 1: had just been assuming it was his sister and sorry,
- 3:41Speaker 1: it was his sister. That's a terrible assumption. When when
- 3:45Speaker 1: I asked, he told me that he actually went with
- 3:47Speaker 1: his ex and her family. I acted way too cool
- 3:52Speaker 1: and asked him if it was weird with his ex
- 3:54Speaker 1: of a year. He said it was actually really good.
- 3:58Speaker 1: They'd been friends for a year after their break and
- 4:01Speaker 1: family and her family was so nice to him. End
- 4:04Speaker 1: of conversation. I spiraled he was super mature and assuring
- 4:10Speaker 1: about it. When I brought it up again, he told
- 4:13Speaker 1: me he stopped being friends with her in March because
- 4:16Speaker 1: he couldn't move on. She was sleeping with other people
- 4:19Speaker 1: he wasn't, and she kept telling him they'd work it out,
- 4:22Speaker 1: so he still wasn't over it at least three months
- 4:25Speaker 1: before we met. Further research showed they still follow each
- 4:29Speaker 1: other and she's commented on like all of his posts.
- 4:33Speaker 1: He doesn't want to offend her by unfollowing her or
- 4:36Speaker 1: find out about her life through his friends and not
- 4:39Speaker 1: seeing her story himself and he said he won't ever
- 4:42Speaker 1: post me except maybe on his stories, but he's never
- 4:45Speaker 1: reposted my stories that I mention him in. Am I
- 4:49Speaker 1: being crazy and a shallow girlfriend for it not sitting
- 4:51Speaker 1: right with me. I'm mad he wasn't honest about it. Sorry,
- 4:55Speaker 1: I'm mad he wasn't honest about his last relationship, which
- 4:58Speaker 1: he said he regrets, and he's only committed to me.
- 5:01Speaker 1: He said he'll unfollow her if I want, but I
- 5:04Speaker 1: want him to want to. I'm mad about how much
- 5:07Speaker 1: he used to speak about Japan and casually bring her up.
- 5:10Speaker 1: I'm guessing he knows not to now. He always speaks
- 5:13Speaker 1: about our travels for the future, and I just feel
- 5:16Speaker 1: like a bit of a replacement despite all that, he's
- 5:18Speaker 1: a wonderful person.
- 5:20Speaker 2: Okay, Baddie, I want you to go on to the
- 5:23Speaker 2: video part of this episode and watch me right now.
- 5:28Speaker 1: Kick, kick, kick. I want you to fucking get out
- 5:31Speaker 1: there as quickly as you can on a horse.
- 5:36Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like that was a quick way to
- 5:39Speaker 2: get out of there. I didn't land faster than humans. Yeah,
- 5:43Speaker 2: exactly so.
- 5:44Speaker 1: The reason Land is because I still taste your fucking pooh.
- 5:47Speaker 2: It's not it's gone, it's gone ages ago, dude, get
- 5:50Speaker 2: over today.
- 5:51Speaker 1: The amount you doing, I don't complain, linger is long.
- 5:56Speaker 1: Whatever it was our mascot, little sausage. Okay, so m M.
- 6:05Speaker 1: I think.
- 6:07Speaker 2: Although I don't know, it just seems like he's still
- 6:10Speaker 2: obsessed with his ex and can't get over her, and
- 6:13Speaker 2: he's using you as a way to get over her
- 6:15Speaker 2: when he's not really over her. And then he's also
- 6:18Speaker 2: lied to you, which I don't like. And then also
- 6:20Speaker 2: he said I can unfollow her if you want me to,
- 6:23Speaker 2: if you shut up, if you want me to, I
- 6:26Speaker 2: think like you.
- 6:27Speaker 1: Should just be able to, like, shut the fuck up.
- 6:29Speaker 1: I hate that day. If you want.
- 6:31Speaker 2: If he can't realize that he should be unfollowing his
- 6:33Speaker 2: ex partner when he's in a new relationship, you'd like
- 6:36Speaker 2: me in a bit of a deeper mood right now,
- 6:38Speaker 2: then he shouldn't be in a relationship. He doesn't deserve
- 6:41Speaker 2: to be in a relationship with you. And although it's
- 6:45Speaker 2: a sad truth, you're gonna have to be like, dude,
- 6:48Speaker 2: I deserve better.
- 6:48Speaker 1: I'm getting out of here, kick kick kick. I also
- 6:52Speaker 1: think you should break up with him. How can that's rude?
- 6:55Speaker 1: At the bare minimum? That what he's doing. Yeah, yeah,
- 6:59Speaker 1: so if I started seeing it, So the unfortunate thing
- 7:06Speaker 1: is that you're a few months in and made it official.
- 7:08Speaker 1: Three months they must be going a bit past that.
- 7:11Speaker 1: That's not that deep. So it's February now November last
- 7:16Speaker 1: year's when they went to New Zealand. Yeah, oh, it's
- 7:18Speaker 1: not too.
- 7:18Speaker 2: Long, I would say, though, So it takes a little
- 7:21Speaker 2: bit of time to figure out if you'd like someone,
- 7:23Speaker 2: and it takes between three to six months to figure
- 7:26Speaker 2: out if you fully love them, I would say, yeah.
- 7:30Speaker 2: And then that three to six month period is, for example,
- 7:34Speaker 2: you realize that this dude is not over his X.
- 7:36Speaker 1: You're like, wow, the truth come out. See, yeah, I
- 7:40Speaker 1: am trying to think here. So like in this situation,
- 7:46Speaker 1: I think all the way up until him saying he
- 7:52Speaker 1: will not unfollow his ex and he'll only do it
- 7:54Speaker 1: if she wants him to, and that he's not going
- 7:55Speaker 1: to post her. Up until that point, I think I
- 8:00Speaker 1: would have found it somewhat forgivable, Like I would have
- 8:04Speaker 1: thought it was suss But like, actually, when am.
- 8:08Speaker 2: I talking, i'd be pretty god talking about if I
- 8:11Speaker 2: was saying a new girl and our first holiday together,
- 8:15Speaker 2: we go to New Zealand and the whole time I'm talking.
- 8:17Speaker 1: About, Oh yeah, this this trip to Japan I went
- 8:19Speaker 1: to was honestly the best, and I'm like, oh, that's
- 8:22Speaker 1: I'm happy for that's so good. Yeah, yeah, it was good.
- 8:24Speaker 1: We did this, this, this is.
- 8:25Speaker 2: And then like a couple of weeks later I found
- 8:27Speaker 2: out that it was with your ex girlfriend.
- 8:29Speaker 1: I would be like, we left that part out. Motherfucker,
- 8:32Speaker 1: what am I talking about?
- 8:35Speaker 3: Dude?
- 8:35Speaker 1: Who are you? This far has changed to you? I'm
- 8:38Speaker 1: so focused on the par but no, so I don't
- 8:44Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, because literally, you need to
- 8:48Speaker 1: break up this guy. There's no there's actually no other
- 8:53Speaker 1: thing that you can do because he is not over
- 8:56Speaker 1: his ex.
- 8:56Speaker 2: I feel like what you might have in trying to
- 9:00Speaker 2: say was it was sus up until he said I
- 9:03Speaker 2: can unfollow her if you want, and that was crossing
- 9:07Speaker 2: the line.
- 9:07Speaker 1: While I was just trying to be like devil's advocate,
- 9:12Speaker 1: maybe try and put myself in her shoes a bit,
- 9:13Speaker 1: I was trying to think like, if Beth had done
- 9:15Speaker 1: this type of thing, but if Beth and I were
- 9:18Speaker 1: a couple of months in and you know, we just
- 9:20Speaker 1: met it official And then I found about and found
- 9:23Speaker 1: out about the Japan thing, I would have been like
- 9:29Speaker 1: what yeah, and then I probably would have broken up
- 9:32Speaker 1: with her, well for one my sake and then for
- 9:36Speaker 1: two her sake, Like you need to break up with
- 9:39Speaker 1: this guy to protect your piece right first and foremost,
- 9:43Speaker 1: you also need to break up with this guy because
- 9:47Speaker 1: this motherfucker is not over his ex. Like simple as that, dude.
- 9:54Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, fuck him off? Girl, you know what to do? Ah,
- 9:59Speaker 1: all right now? Dilemma.
- 10:01Speaker 2: If you want to get a dilemma read by us,
- 10:03Speaker 2: it will be linked into the description and they are
- 10:05Speaker 2: completely anonymous.
- 10:08Speaker 1: Dilemma.
- 10:09Speaker 2: Three months into a new relationship. Everything is great, but
- 10:13Speaker 2: one thing. My boyfriend has the roughest beard, and it
- 10:18Speaker 2: leaves my chin itchy and inflamed. After we make out,
- 10:22Speaker 2: sometimes small little cuts are left. I spent about four
- 10:26Speaker 2: hundred bucks a month getting facials. I spoke to the
- 10:29Speaker 2: woman who does my facials and she told me to
- 10:32Speaker 2: buy him beer oil, which I did. I told him
- 10:34Speaker 2: I was going to when I gave it to him,
- 10:36Speaker 2: he clearly wasn't happy and tried to leave it at
- 10:38Speaker 2: my place.
- 10:39Speaker 1: Right after I gave it to him. I don't want
- 10:40Speaker 1: to force him to use it, but my skin is suffering. Advice.
- 10:44Speaker 1: My advice is sorry, you just don't like a bearded man,
- 10:50Speaker 1: break up with him. Unfortunately, I cannot relate. If Beth
- 10:59Speaker 1: told me that this hurt her, like she said that
- 11:02Speaker 1: it does. It does like scratch a bit, But she
- 11:05Speaker 1: said if if she said it hurt her, I'd shave it. Mmm. Yeah,
- 11:10Speaker 1: is this just two different preferences.
- 11:13Speaker 2: Have you vocalized have you communicated with him that you
- 11:18Speaker 2: getting an itchy chin and that it hurts after or.
- 11:22Speaker 1: Or yeah, fuck it? Was he? What's on his beard
- 11:24Speaker 1: like fucking sandpaper? I'm just gonna say, is this guy
- 11:26Speaker 1: fucking wolverine of like metal stuff coming out?
- 11:29Speaker 2: Or have you just given him this beard oil? Because
- 11:32Speaker 2: giving him a little bit of the benefit of the doubt.
- 11:34Speaker 2: If you've just given him some bead oil and be
- 11:35Speaker 2: like he's a present and he left it there, becaus
- 11:37Speaker 2: like I don't need that.
- 11:37Speaker 1: Surely he notices a bit of blood.
- 11:39Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say Tip one is communication, especially because
- 11:43Speaker 2: the relationship is so new, and just be like, dude,
- 11:46Speaker 2: look I love kissing you, but it hurts sometimes that
- 11:49Speaker 2: beard that's stubble. You even need to choose one way
- 11:52Speaker 2: or the other really long or really short.
- 11:54Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. Yeah, I agree, Like it's gonna
- 11:56Speaker 1: fucking turn into just major resentment.
- 11:59Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna have weed kissing him at all costs
- 12:02Speaker 2: because it doesn't it doesn't sound like she said anything yet.
- 12:04Speaker 1: Yeah, kissing is like an intimate thing. Yeah, and it's
- 12:07Speaker 1: like a pretty intimate part of a relationship. Yeah, it's tricky.
- 12:11Speaker 2: I've had moments too when I have a little bit
- 12:13Speaker 2: of stubble, like it gets sand papery for Cassie, and
- 12:16Speaker 2: she said something about it. What I can grow stubble
- 12:21Speaker 2: on my on my goatee, Come on, man. But as
- 12:27Speaker 2: the man, sometimes I'm unaware.
- 12:31Speaker 1: Yeah I'm not aware. Yeah, you're unaware because it just happens. Yeah.
- 12:35Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's part of life. So I think communication
- 12:37Speaker 2: is the only answer.
- 12:38Speaker 1: Yeah, I give best, Like rash on her chest. Why
- 12:42Speaker 1: are you on a chest? Like down like neck? Yeah, man,
- 12:48Speaker 1: but if you're in that like you know, heavy breathing missionary.
- 12:54Speaker 2: Like kissing on the lips and rash on her chest,
- 12:58Speaker 2: like what you doing.
- 13:00Speaker 1: I'm a pretty guy, I'll fucking start nuzzling up in there.
- 13:06Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well, what don't people like like candles, hot
- 13:11Speaker 2: candles being melted on him for like pain and stuff.
- 13:14Speaker 1: Yeah, actually I think that's the thing. Yeah, that's like king.
- 13:16Speaker 2: Maybe this is just two different things because she he
- 13:19Speaker 2: needs to find a girl who likes a bit of
- 13:21Speaker 2: like bloodh who likes pain.
- 13:24Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
- 13:27Speaker 2: No, I reckon, just talk to him and if he
- 13:28Speaker 2: if he doesn't like show any sort of sympathy towards
- 13:33Speaker 2: the situation, then yeah, oh yeah, I.
- 13:35Speaker 1: Would break up with him if if you said something
- 13:38Speaker 1: and he goes, well, I'm not shaving it.
- 13:39Speaker 2: Yeah, because it sounds like the bead oil was just like, oh,
- 13:41Speaker 2: here's some beer. It's like if Cassie brought me some
- 13:43Speaker 2: shampoo and I was like, oh thanks because I had
- 13:46Speaker 2: dander if I didn't know, but yeah, so yeah, I
- 13:48Speaker 2: would say.
- 13:49Speaker 1: Talk to him, and then if he's not willing to
- 13:52Speaker 1: shave his beard, then I don't think that he's willing
- 13:54Speaker 1: to compromise for much things. I reckon, you should break
- 13:58Speaker 1: up if he doesn't compromise on that. A guy I'm
- 14:08Speaker 1: seeing has self proclaimed porn induced erectile dysfunction, and I'm
- 14:15Speaker 1: concerned how much porn is he consuming to impede his
- 14:19Speaker 1: ability to be with a partner. What type of porn.
- 14:23Speaker 1: I have no problem with porn watching, but when it's
- 14:26Speaker 1: so excessive, that is a problem. Sorry that it's a
- 14:29Speaker 1: problem in the bedroom. I have concerns, but I don't
- 14:33Speaker 1: want to come off rude or overstep since it's a
- 14:37Speaker 1: new relationship. He said it has nothing to do with
- 14:40Speaker 1: me and that he's very attracted to me. But it's
- 14:43Speaker 1: still an issue.
- 14:44Speaker 2: Help kick girl, kick kick, I mean, get out of
- 14:48Speaker 2: there again.
- 14:50Speaker 1: There's literally no such thing as porn induced erectal dysfunction.
- 14:55Speaker 1: Do you want to know what that is? It's literally
- 14:57Speaker 1: just a porn addiction. He's just waging. He just has
- 15:01Speaker 1: a porn addiction, and he's calling it something different or I've.
- 15:05Speaker 2: Heard so what comes with porn addictions too, is I
- 15:11Speaker 2: think this guy's just wanking too much.
- 15:12Speaker 1: But also you get an unreal expectation of what sex
- 15:17Speaker 1: is like.
- 15:18Speaker 2: Yeah, so like normal sex, bit of missionary cowgirl, maybe
- 15:23Speaker 2: doggie if you're feeling.
- 15:24Speaker 1: It, like just the normal stuff. And he could be
- 15:26Speaker 1: watching like some fucking double nded fucking yeah.
- 15:29Speaker 2: Block fucking everywhere, and then he's gonna do some normal
- 15:32Speaker 2: shit shit yeah, and then he's always DOPA means.
- 15:35Speaker 1: In like this fucking shit that I shouldn't be doing.
- 15:36Speaker 2: And then he gets the missionary and he's just like, oh,
- 15:39Speaker 2: well this is just boring into it.
- 15:40Speaker 1: Well yeah, I mean, look, so obviously you can't go
- 15:42Speaker 1: any further than you have gone with this guy. You
- 15:45Speaker 1: need to leave him.
- 15:46Speaker 2: I really feel for this baddie, and she's a good
- 15:49Speaker 2: person in a sense of you, ah.
- 15:55Speaker 1: Very understanding. Yeah, and I need to I need to Rea,
- 15:59Speaker 1: what's the world. I need to affirm reaffirm that porn
- 16:05Speaker 1: induced erectial dysfunction is. Look, maybe it is a thing,
- 16:11Speaker 1: but I'm telling you right now it comes from a
- 16:13Speaker 1: porn addiction.
- 16:14Speaker 2: It's also like he knows what the problem is, and
- 16:16Speaker 2: it sounds like he knows he's going to be having
- 16:17Speaker 2: sex with this woman.
- 16:19Speaker 1: And then he gets there and he's like, oh fuck,
- 16:21Speaker 1: I watched seven videos this morning, damn it. Yeah, leave him.
- 16:28Speaker 2: I have troubles showing sympathy towards like that.
- 16:32Speaker 1: I guess same.
- 16:33Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know it's still a big problem,
- 16:35Speaker 2: but also like I don't know, I feel like, especially
- 16:37Speaker 2: because this is such.
- 16:38Speaker 1: A new relationship, I wouldn't want to deal with that shit. Yeah, true, true, true. Also,
- 16:42Speaker 1: I mean maybe having an opinion about it is hard
- 16:44Speaker 1: when you haven't experienced it as well, So it's like
- 16:47Speaker 1: to us, it's like to us, it's the easiest thing
- 16:49Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, that's fun. I have no sympathy
- 16:51Speaker 1: for someone with a porn addiction, not giving anyone the
- 16:54Speaker 1: benefit of doubt, by the way, because I don't have
- 16:55Speaker 1: sympathy for it, but the way he phrased that has
- 16:57Speaker 1: made me hate it even more. Same yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 16:59Speaker 1: he's like self induced. He's manipulating. Yeah, yeah, he's manipulating.
- 17:03Speaker 1: He's like, this isn't my fault, it's the pawn's fault. Yea, yeah,
- 17:06Speaker 1: yeh yeah. He's like, I didn't give myself a rectoris function,
- 17:10Speaker 1: the porn gave me a rectoris function. Like what the fuck, dude, bro?
- 17:15Speaker 2: I just couldn't imagine though, Like a beautiful girl's naked
- 17:18Speaker 2: in front of you, and then you consciously make the
- 17:21Speaker 2: decision you want to watch pawn more than you want to.
- 17:23Speaker 1: Have sex with that woman. M hmm. That's where the
- 17:26Speaker 1: sympathy doesn't lie with me. Also, how come this guy
- 17:29Speaker 1: got into a relationship if he knows he has a
- 17:30Speaker 1: e rectordis function induced from his own doings. Like if
- 17:36Speaker 1: someone just has erector's function, I know that's a thing. Yeah,
- 17:39Speaker 1: they get like medical health for it. Yeah, I don't
- 17:41Speaker 1: think you can get medical health for this because this
- 17:43Speaker 1: guy can only get a fucking boner. Well, someone's legs
- 17:46Speaker 1: wrapped around their fucking head. They getting bad.
- 17:48Speaker 2: You need to trune it the same way as an addiction,
- 17:50Speaker 2: I guess like cut it out, recap, go to aa PP.
- 17:55Speaker 1: Yeah, what's I don't know? AA is alcoholics anonymous? So oh,
- 18:02Speaker 1: I don't know what BP is.
- 18:03Speaker 2: Porn people, Yeah, poor pa porn anonymous, No PAA poorn
- 18:10Speaker 2: addiction anonymous, Yeah, yeah, alcoholics anonymous. Hey, guys, I love
- 18:16Speaker 2: the pod By the way, So, currently, I'm about two
- 18:18Speaker 2: years into my first relationship. I'm nineteen. He is such
- 18:21Speaker 2: a great guy and treats me like a queen. The
- 18:23Speaker 2: only issue is I think the physical attraction is fading.
- 18:27Speaker 2: I don't want to rip his shirt off, and my
- 18:29Speaker 2: sex drive is becoming lower and lower. I find that
- 18:32Speaker 2: I only have the attraction when I'm ovulating. I know
- 18:35Speaker 2: he loves me, and I really do love him, but
- 18:37Speaker 2: I'm struggling.
- 18:38Speaker 1: To process these changes.
- 18:39Speaker 2: And I don't know what to do. It doesn't help
- 18:41Speaker 2: that my whole family loves him and thinks we are
- 18:44Speaker 2: getting married, which makes it so much harder. I'm scared
- 18:47Speaker 2: that if I let him go, I regret it, and
- 18:48Speaker 2: I can't imagine letting him go because he's such a
- 18:50Speaker 2: good guy. But deep down I know that I don't
- 18:52Speaker 2: want to marry him, and keeping him is hurting us both.
- 18:56Speaker 2: I don't know what I should do, and I don't
- 18:57Speaker 2: know if I should just wait and see if the
- 18:58Speaker 2: attraction grows, or should I end it now?
- 19:05Speaker 1: There was a part there was so and she had
- 19:10Speaker 1: me in the first half same she had me in
- 19:13Speaker 1: the first time, and then in the second half she
- 19:16Speaker 1: answered her own question.
- 19:17Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say, in a long term relationship,
- 19:22Speaker 2: you it's very normal to have highs and lows and flow.
- 19:26Speaker 1: That's what I was gonna saying. I was gonna be like, oh,
- 19:28Speaker 1: you know, me and Beth don't rially tell his shirts
- 19:30Speaker 1: off at first sight anymore type of thing. There's times
- 19:32Speaker 1: in the month where we do, and then the time
- 19:35Speaker 1: we don't.
- 19:36Speaker 2: And I was gonna say, she's young, and this is
- 19:38Speaker 2: the first time you've experienced that.
- 19:40Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes I'm pretty sure I'll touch beirth and she
- 19:44Speaker 1: thinks you Okay, I'm pretty sure that's normal. I can't
- 19:50Speaker 1: speak for her to be honest with you. But then
- 19:53Speaker 1: when you said you don't see yourself marrying this guy,
- 19:55Speaker 1: then you answer your own question like you don't need our.
- 19:57Speaker 2: Help, especially because you're staying in it because your family
- 20:00Speaker 2: loves him.
- 20:01Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I don't know.
- 20:03Speaker 2: It's a bit of a lesson here in a sense
- 20:04Speaker 2: of do what is right for you girl? Yeah, yeah,
- 20:07Speaker 2: break up with him if you don't see self marying him?
- 20:08Speaker 1: Are you doing with him? Yeah? And I think, like,
- 20:11Speaker 1: and you don't have to, And it's that doesn't have
- 20:14Speaker 1: to be because you're not attracted to him. Yeah you
- 20:16Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like it it's not as shallow
- 20:17Speaker 1: as that, Like you don't see yourself marrying this guy,
- 20:20Speaker 1: And you didn't say it's because of the attraction thing.
- 20:22Speaker 1: You just said you don't see yourself marrying him for
- 20:24Speaker 1: obviously a bunch of reasons. Yeah, so you're allowed to
- 20:27Speaker 1: fucking leave him, Like what the hell?
- 20:29Speaker 2: I feel like you can end a relationship just because
- 20:32Speaker 2: you don't want to be with him anymore.
- 20:35Speaker 1: That's the only reason you need. Yeah.
- 20:37Speaker 2: I feel like people tell themselves that they need to
- 20:39Speaker 2: have something happen to the relationship, then they'd be cheated on,
- 20:42Speaker 2: or they need to think he's piteous or something really
- 20:45Speaker 2: really bad has happened. But it can be as simple as, look,
- 20:48Speaker 2: I don't see a future with you. Well, look I
- 20:51Speaker 2: don't want to do this.
- 20:53Speaker 1: I don't want to be with you anymore. Yeah, And
- 20:55Speaker 1: they say why, I just don't. I don't know. I
- 20:57Speaker 1: feel like you don't actually have to have a bunch
- 20:59Speaker 1: of a reason. You didn't do anything. I didn't do it, Like,
- 21:01Speaker 1: I just literally don't see myself marrying you. It's not
- 21:05Speaker 1: waste any of it your time.
- 21:07Speaker 2: But I think it's respecting yourself and in the end,
- 21:10Speaker 2: respecting your partner because you owe it to them.
- 21:12Speaker 1: Yeah, you love them at one point, and now you
- 21:14Speaker 1: don't just admit it. Yeah, and if if they get
- 21:16Speaker 1: upset for you being honest, it's like, that's your fucking problem.
- 21:19Speaker 2: Yeah, And deep down they're gonna be like, I'm glad
- 21:21Speaker 2: some and so told me that they don't love me anymore,
- 21:23Speaker 2: because I would have been in it blissfully thinking this
- 21:26Speaker 2: is fine.
- 21:26Speaker 1: A year later, he's going to be over it. Yeah,
- 21:28Speaker 1: and then it's the resentment starts to happen exactly. Yeah,
- 21:33Speaker 1: I was actually like I wanted to say, it's like
- 21:37Speaker 1: this day and age with situationships and talking phases and
- 21:40Speaker 1: stuff like, I feel as though people just from dilemmas
- 21:46Speaker 1: we get and then maybe friends we've spoken to, they
- 21:49Speaker 1: won't put a label on something because then they think, oh,
- 21:53Speaker 1: I'm locked in for life or something. You know, I
- 21:58Speaker 1: can't break up with them just because I don't want
- 21:59Speaker 1: to fucking be with them anymore, which is the opposite,
- 22:03Speaker 1: Like you may as well. I don't understand why don't
- 22:06Speaker 1: you just say the person that you've been in a
- 22:07Speaker 1: situationship with for a full year and you go on
- 22:10Speaker 1: dates with, Like, why don't you just say that you know,
- 22:15Speaker 1: that's my boyfriend, I'm your girlfriend, or that's my girlfriend,
- 22:17Speaker 1: I'm your boyfriend, like we are boyfriend and girlfriend, and
- 22:20Speaker 1: then you're allowed to break up with whoever you want,
- 22:24Speaker 1: whenever you want. Yeah. I just don't understand this whole
- 22:27Speaker 1: like limbo time period of a situationship.
- 22:31Speaker 2: I feel like as a society, we've put like so
- 22:36Speaker 2: much value on girlfriend and boyfriend, which yes, is extremely
- 22:42Speaker 2: valuable but also.
- 22:43Speaker 1: Like you have complete free will still.
- 22:46Speaker 2: Yeah, like people think that now we're boyfriend and girlfriend,
- 22:49Speaker 2: like I owe you something.
- 22:50Speaker 1: I know, like tomorrow, if Cassie wants to break up
- 22:53Speaker 1: with you, what are you gonna say? No, Yeah, you're
- 22:56Speaker 1: going to be obviously devastated because you maybe you didn't
- 22:59Speaker 1: see it coming, and then you're like that sucks. But
- 23:02Speaker 1: like if Cassie was to say to you, or if
- 23:03Speaker 1: Bets was to say to me, I don't want to
- 23:05Speaker 1: be with you anymore because I don't see a long
- 23:07Speaker 1: term future with you, what am I going to say? Yeah, like, no, no, no, no,
- 23:11Speaker 1: You're the worst human in the world. I'm going to say,
- 23:13Speaker 1: I'm always gonna be devastated, and any normal humans going
- 23:16Speaker 1: to be like I Actually, you know, I appreciate you
- 23:18Speaker 1: saying that.
- 23:19Speaker 2: I would prefer to be in a six month or
- 23:21Speaker 2: nine month relationship boyfriend and girlfriend and then be in
- 23:24Speaker 2: this limbo zone where I don't know if this person
- 23:26Speaker 2: likes me or not. Yeah, at least they have the
- 23:28Speaker 2: intention of trying to have a future together with that.
- 23:31Speaker 2: I feel like, if you don't have put a title
- 23:32Speaker 2: on it, there's no intentions.
- 23:33Speaker 1: Yeah. I also I just think like in this sort
- 23:35Speaker 1: of situation too, It's like, if you break up with someone,
- 23:39Speaker 1: don't do the whole thing of like we can still
- 23:42Speaker 1: be friends or maybe sometime in the patre like it
- 23:44Speaker 1: doesn't work. I think that's when you need to chill.
- 23:46Speaker 1: And then also it's like if you break up with
- 23:48Speaker 1: them and then you regret breaking up with them, leave
- 23:53Speaker 1: them alone. Yeah.
- 23:54Speaker 2: If I could tell my younger self anything, it would
- 23:56Speaker 2: be if you've dated someone previously, you can't be friends
- 23:58Speaker 2: with them.
- 23:59Speaker 1: Oh my god, you can't.
- 24:00Speaker 2: You can't have any sort of platonic relationship with him
- 24:03Speaker 2: at all.
- 24:03Speaker 1: No. Do you know what they look like naked? Yeah?
- 24:06Speaker 1: You know what it looks like when you're inside. Yeah,
- 24:10Speaker 1: there's you know what it sounds like when they it's
- 24:12Speaker 1: too techy? Yeah.
- 24:14Speaker 2: And that's always even if you think you're over it,
- 24:16Speaker 2: you're subconscious or somewhere in the back of your brain
- 24:19Speaker 2: each other's brain. It's just that little little bit of
- 24:21Speaker 2: something that no one else has experienced but you two together.
- 24:24Speaker 1: Yeah inside jokes, Yeah, that type of side. So I
- 24:33Speaker 1: hope that helped. I think what we say, break up
- 24:35Speaker 1: with him, even if you're cold, dude, like this, breakups
- 24:39Speaker 1: to the hard one.
- 24:39Speaker 2: Your next dilemma, break up with him.
- 24:43Speaker 1: Let's see. Actually I don't even remember this.
- 24:44Speaker 2: One, interjecting, as you know, and if you don't go
- 24:48Speaker 2: back and listen. We just recently ran a campaign the
- 24:50Speaker 2: Badest Bad Yes, and the two winners have won an
- 24:54Speaker 2: ad read we're going to read for the next month.
- 24:56Speaker 1: They get four ad reads, so here they are. Okay,
- 25:00Speaker 1: we talk about relationships, dilemmas, and hot fantasy novels, but
- 25:04Speaker 1: something we need to talk more about is mental health.
- 25:07Speaker 1: Bad As Baddie Sarah is doing just that. She's written
- 25:10Speaker 1: a book called My Mental Health Toolkit, a recovery guide,
- 25:14Speaker 1: as a way to highlight the parts of life that
- 25:16Speaker 1: can get tough and some easy strategies to help you
- 25:20Speaker 1: through even better.
- 25:21Speaker 2: It's more of a journal than a book because you
- 25:23Speaker 2: get to write through it and customize it to match you.
- 25:26Speaker 1: So where can you get this? My Mental Health Toolkit
- 25:29Speaker 1: dot co, dot nz and postage is available worldwide. And
- 25:34Speaker 1: for the second one, if you deal with painful periods, endometriosis,
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- 26:32Speaker 1: the conditions and batties.
- 26:35Speaker 2: These batties doing cool stuff. Support them if you want
- 26:37Speaker 2: to and stay bad. Okay, hey Kings, I need your help.
- 26:41Speaker 2: I trust you guys with the best advice, so let's
- 26:43Speaker 2: see what you have for me. Sorry, it's quite long.
- 26:47Speaker 1: I'm twenty two and I've known my boyfriend for seven
- 26:49Speaker 1: years since we were fifteen, so we've grown up together
- 26:53Speaker 1: and he's all of ever known relationship wise he knows
- 26:55Speaker 1: me better than anyone else and is my comfort person
- 26:58Speaker 1: and best friend, which makes the idea of leaving really scary. Oh,
- 27:02Speaker 1: you could be right you're thinking of Believe our relationship
- 27:05Speaker 1: hasn't been perfect. Earlier on in the relationship he cheated
- 27:08Speaker 1: on me, but this was over three years ago now.
- 27:12Speaker 1: Since then, we've done a lot of work to rebuild trust,
- 27:14Speaker 1: and I genuinely feel like our relationship is stable now.
- 27:17Speaker 1: The main issue I'm struggling with is our sex life.
- 27:20Speaker 1: Over the past three years, it's become much less frequent.
- 27:23Speaker 1: I've tried to communicate how important intimacy is in to
- 27:27Speaker 1: me and how the lack of it has affected myself
- 27:30Speaker 1: of steam and sense of connection, But despite many conversations,
- 27:33Speaker 1: nothing has really changed. Because everything else feels good, I
- 27:37Speaker 1: feel stuck. I've also recently met someone through work who
- 27:41Speaker 1: I get along with. Well, nothing has happened, and it's
- 27:44Speaker 1: purely a friendship, but having engaging, flirty conversations has sparked
- 27:47Speaker 1: a new feelings and made me reflect on my relationship,
- 27:50Speaker 1: which I feel guilty about. I'm scared I'm being unrealistic.
- 27:53Speaker 1: I literally just want book love. Is that too much
- 27:57Speaker 1: to ask for? And I don't know whether this is
- 27:59Speaker 1: a no more phase of a long term relationship or
- 28:02Speaker 1: a sign that we are incompatible. I'm scared to leave
- 28:05Speaker 1: because this relationship is all I know, but I'm also
- 28:07Speaker 1: scared of staying and ignoring a need that feels really
- 28:10Speaker 1: important to me. So my question is is this something
- 28:12Speaker 1: that I can be worked through or is my gut
- 28:14Speaker 1: telling me this isn't the right person anymore. PS loved
- 28:17Speaker 1: the pod as a new Patreon certified baddie. It is
- 28:20Speaker 1: really worth it. Let's go okay.
- 28:23Speaker 2: Her last question at the end was can this be
- 28:25Speaker 2: worked through or is it something that she should listen to.
- 28:29Speaker 2: I think both answers are right. She just has to
- 28:31Speaker 2: decide this is a very workable through. She's asking, yeah,
- 28:34Speaker 2: you know, but I think she wanted to sorry, in
- 28:37Speaker 2: which she thinks maybe one of those is the right answer.
- 28:39Speaker 1: But they could both be right.
- 28:40Speaker 2: Yeah, And like, if you're not having sex enough and
- 28:42Speaker 2: he's perfect otherwise, this is a very workable situation. But
- 28:46Speaker 2: also if you do want more, this is your body
- 28:48Speaker 2: telling you that, and you could just listen to that
- 28:50Speaker 2: and leave. I could see you going down both pathways,
- 28:53Speaker 2: and I wouldn't judge at all.
- 28:54Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to think about We've actually recently, I
- 28:57Speaker 1: would say, had a fair few of the of baddie
- 29:01Speaker 1: sending in that their boyfriend's libido is down porn. Look,
- 29:06Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the most common thing is going to
- 29:08Speaker 1: be porn or diet and like Las style that's another. Yeah.
- 29:14Speaker 1: So but here's a thing of where I'm going. It's
- 29:17Speaker 1: similar to most situations, like I think that Let's let
- 29:23Speaker 1: me think quickly, Like let's say you asked him to
- 29:31Speaker 1: Let's just say like he did something that was bothering you,
- 29:34Speaker 1: and maybe it was he was lacking communication on nights out. Yeah,
- 29:41Speaker 1: you communicated that with him. He didn't change, even though
- 29:44Speaker 1: he knows that you would like a little bit more
- 29:46Speaker 1: communication on nights out. You would probably think, like, how
- 29:51Speaker 1: is he not compromising on this? And we would say
- 29:53Speaker 1: you should break up with him for that because you've
- 29:55Speaker 1: tried that. You've tried. Yeah, it's time for him to
- 29:57Speaker 1: do his part and he's not doing it. When it
- 30:00Speaker 1: it comes to the sex and the attraction and stuff,
- 30:02Speaker 1: people feel so shallow they do. But it's the same
- 30:05Speaker 1: thing you said, you want more sex. You're lot self
- 30:07Speaker 1: esteemers low and stuff like it's affecting that. And you
- 30:12Speaker 1: said something and nothing has happened. So again, I would say,
- 30:17Speaker 1: you can say something again and if something changes, then good.
- 30:20Speaker 1: But what was the quote from fucking Monday from the
- 30:26Speaker 1: Baddie the advice if you don't make a change, you
- 30:30Speaker 1: make a choice or something. Yeah, those lines. If you're
- 30:34Speaker 1: not making the changes, then you're making the choice. After that,
- 30:36Speaker 1: you're making me lean towards break. Yeah, go with your gut. Yeah.
- 30:41Speaker 1: And I do think it is your body is saying
- 30:43Speaker 1: you deserve more.
- 30:44Speaker 2: And she did list off a couple of reasons, which
- 30:47Speaker 2: are not good reasons this day, like that's all you've
- 30:49Speaker 2: ever known. It's scary and unknown out there. It's just
- 30:52Speaker 2: scary and unknown out there.
- 30:53Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 30:54Speaker 2: And I think this is a big problem for a
- 30:56Speaker 2: lot of people who have been in a relationship since
- 30:58Speaker 2: high school or whatever and it's the only.
- 30:59Speaker 1: Person they've ever known. But if.
- 31:03Speaker 2: Whenever your body is telling you something that is leading
- 31:06Speaker 2: towards you deserve better more, you want something different, I
- 31:10Speaker 2: would say, listen to it.
- 31:11Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 31:12Speaker 2: And but you say, this guy's a good guy, I
- 31:13Speaker 2: give him another shot or two. Communicate it once or
- 31:16Speaker 2: twice more really sit him down, drill it into his head.
- 31:19Speaker 2: Men are fucking thick. He might not get it straight away,
- 31:21Speaker 2: which is a little bit of a problem. But he's
- 31:23Speaker 2: a good guy, you say, so give him the benefit
- 31:24Speaker 2: of the doubt.
- 31:25Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I reckon in my opinion,
- 31:28Speaker 1: I would say one more chance, like telling him one
- 31:30Speaker 1: more time.
- 31:31Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's a boundary you can set with yourself,
- 31:33Speaker 2: because exactly, yeah, you set your own three strikes.
- 31:35Speaker 1: In your out or two strikes, and I run sentirely
- 31:38Speaker 1: up to you. I guess, yeah, and then just make
- 31:40Speaker 1: the decision. And I mean, I don't know, Like, what's
- 31:42Speaker 1: the right thing to do in this situation? Communicate with
- 31:45Speaker 1: him that I would like more sex. I've said this
- 31:48Speaker 1: once before and nothing happened. I'm saying it again. Do
- 31:52Speaker 1: you also, like, what's the right thing to do in
- 31:55Speaker 1: a relationship? Is it? Like, do you say he's a
- 31:58Speaker 1: solution I think could work? Do you also try and
- 32:01Speaker 1: fix the situation?
- 32:02Speaker 2: Could you could just put it onto him and be like,
- 32:04Speaker 2: why do you think we're not having enough sex?
- 32:06Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, Like you know I'm tired after work.
- 32:10Speaker 2: Yeah, life's busy, you know, Like I've just got.
- 32:13Speaker 1: Bills to pay, I've got poke's this lab. Boys want me, Jake,
- 32:18Speaker 1: Come on, Like, what do you expect me to do?
- 32:21Speaker 1: Battle work? I'm not fucking Johnny Sins over here. Made
- 32:25Speaker 1: just an average bloke. What's he eating? Yeah?
- 32:29Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you could check that avenue too, See if
- 32:33Speaker 2: it's a health concern. He's got low libido, low testoster own?
- 32:37Speaker 2: Is he working out? Working out makes men horny? Is
- 32:39Speaker 2: the boosh your tests? Hit legs tests?
- 32:43Speaker 1: What's the there's like the you could just buy straight
- 32:45Speaker 1: from coals. It's like goats. Something to increase his testosterone.
- 32:49Speaker 1: You can get sparking. Uh no, spiking. It's like you
- 32:54Speaker 1: can just get it. You can get like chocolate that
- 32:56Speaker 1: spikes libido and stuff. Just fucking get the Yeah.
- 33:00Speaker 2: If I reckon, sit him down once or twice more,
- 33:02Speaker 2: talk through it, see what he says, see how he reacts,
- 33:04Speaker 2: and that will be your answer. Okay, sorry if this
- 33:07Speaker 2: is worthy or repetitive. Basically, my long term boyfriend and
- 33:11Speaker 2: I broke up a month ago. It was a mutual
- 33:13Speaker 2: decision and I believe it was the right one and
- 33:15Speaker 2: I am so grateful for our relationship and don't regret anything. Nonetheless,
- 33:19Speaker 2: I feel like he set the bar so high. I'm
- 33:22Speaker 2: scared that the majority of men don't respect women and
- 33:25Speaker 2: other humans and their rights in general. Not only that,
- 33:28Speaker 2: but I know my standards are really high in general,
- 33:32Speaker 2: which is good in theory, and.
- 33:34Speaker 1: I wonder if anyone will ever live up to them.
- 33:36Speaker 2: I'm only in high school, so I know this probably
- 33:38Speaker 2: sounds stupid, but I'm generally scared that I will never
- 33:41Speaker 2: find someone that checks all my boxes.
- 33:43Speaker 1: That I need to be checked.
- 33:45Speaker 2: At the same time, I want to mess around with
- 33:47Speaker 2: guys for fun, but I can only validate that to
- 33:49Speaker 2: myself if they're good, trustworthy people, which I fear is rare, especially.
- 33:54Speaker 1: At our age. Anyways, Love you guys, keep doing your shit.
- 34:00Speaker 1: It's a dilemma.
- 34:02Speaker 2: She's scared that men can't live up to this good
- 34:07Speaker 2: man that she's had because they're also shit and she
- 34:10Speaker 2: wants to fall around. But also she doesn't want to
- 34:12Speaker 2: fall around with dudes who don't deserve it because they're
- 34:14Speaker 2: shit men.
- 34:17Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what the dilemma is. She
- 34:25Speaker 1: kind of just like told us her thoughts, which is fair.
- 34:27Speaker 1: It's an understandable fear.
- 34:29Speaker 2: The dilemma is ninety nine percent of the then a shit. Yeah, yeah,
- 34:34Speaker 2: how can I have sex with someone.
- 34:35Speaker 1: If they're all shit? A three months rule?
- 34:40Speaker 2: True, but you don't want to hear that either, you know,
- 34:44Speaker 2: I don't want to be like I'll give them three
- 34:45Speaker 2: months and like you can iron out the good ones.
- 34:49Speaker 1: Maybe, m Yeah, I don't know. I just I just
- 34:57Speaker 1: like your dilemma is you you were more just like
- 34:59Speaker 1: stating a fat of like so, so the thing about
- 35:02Speaker 1: having sex with people, right, but you don't want to
- 35:05Speaker 1: have sex with people that you don't trust. That's that's
- 35:10Speaker 1: that's a good thing, but it's a you thing, right,
- 35:14Speaker 1: So it's like that just means that you need to
- 35:18Speaker 1: figure out a way to you know, figure out if
- 35:20Speaker 1: you can trust people. So you just have to do
- 35:23Speaker 1: like it's it's kind of up to you. Like, I mean,
- 35:27Speaker 1: we can make suggestions like how can she like maybe
- 35:29Speaker 1: on a night out, like, how can she figure out
- 35:30Speaker 1: if she trusts someone a chance to sleep with that night? No,
- 35:33Speaker 1: I don't have any advice. Yeah, that's a lucky dep
- 35:36Speaker 1: It's hard, isn't it. Maybe we don't have advice.
- 35:40Speaker 2: For the overall dilemma, but I will say, as you
- 35:43Speaker 2: are a young baddie that at the start you said,
- 35:47Speaker 2: you know, you have very high standards, which is in
- 35:49Speaker 2: general really good. Don't ever lower those standards anyone.
- 35:53Speaker 1: Keep them up there.
- 35:54Speaker 2: Even if your sex life is boring, you're not having sex,
- 35:57Speaker 2: but your standards really high.
- 35:59Speaker 1: That is good. I think. Yeah, later on in life
- 36:01Speaker 1: you'll you'll appreciate that maybe you've had less sex than
- 36:03Speaker 1: other people, but you've kept your standards up. Yeah, exactly.
- 36:06Speaker 1: And if you I mean, if you want a longer
- 36:07Speaker 1: and lower and don't listen to us, it's your life too.
- 36:10Speaker 1: Whatever you want to do.
- 36:11Speaker 2: You will have moments in your life where you feel
- 36:12Speaker 2: like just having sex and not even thinking about it.
- 36:15Speaker 1: Is it the same thing for a woman where it's
- 36:16Speaker 1: like before you make a decision to go sleep with someone, masturbate.
- 36:24Speaker 1: I feel like there's this thing with men where men
- 36:26Speaker 1: are like, before you go, you know, sleep with someone,
- 36:29Speaker 1: masturbate and see and see how you feel.
- 36:31Speaker 2: I feel like that's is that a thing men say? Yeah,
- 36:33Speaker 2: one hundred percent, we've said before. I reckon it could be. Well,
- 36:37Speaker 2: it's basically taking the horniness out of the equation. Yeah, well,
- 36:40Speaker 2: you're not thinking more horny because when your horny, like
- 36:42Speaker 2: you're not thinking when you're downstairs, you then thinking, you're
- 36:45Speaker 2: thinking with your brain after.
- 36:46Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're young. I would say there.
- 36:52Speaker 2: Wasn't much advice to give other than just it's a
- 36:56Speaker 2: lucky dip. Know you're self worth and that's it.
- 36:59Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, what's a good question you could ask someone
- 37:02Speaker 1: to see if you trust them straight away? How tall
- 37:05Speaker 1: are you? The only thing with that is you have
- 37:10Speaker 1: to carry around a measuring tape. Oh no, measure yourself,
- 37:13Speaker 1: know your height to the inch, to the centimeter or whatever.
- 37:16Speaker 1: So you just need to know your height and then
- 37:18Speaker 1: whatever height they say, So just a quick little reference
- 37:21Speaker 1: in your head to watch each one is. Yeah.
- 37:23Speaker 2: And I would also say, if you're a new baddy
- 37:26Speaker 2: around here, frontal lobe development with men is a real thing.
- 37:31Speaker 2: Probably got a more technical term, but I would say,
- 37:35Speaker 2: especially with you being nineteen, it would increase the percentages.
- 37:39Speaker 1: Of terrible men. Yeah.
- 37:41Speaker 2: I don't know, because I would say most men who
- 37:44Speaker 2: do come good, some are always good. Good is a
- 37:47Speaker 2: very objective thing, but they become they figure out life
- 37:50Speaker 2: a little bit slower than women.
- 37:53Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, matter pretty weird man, Yeah, especially like you
- 37:57Speaker 1: go to the gym.
- 37:58Speaker 2: Well, I get to the gym and see nineteen year
- 38:00Speaker 2: old dudes fucking chatted and doing what they're doing. It's
- 38:02Speaker 2: just kind of it's just revolting.
- 38:06Speaker 1: I used to be one.
- 38:07Speaker 2: I just like, I don't know what they're wearing, what
- 38:09Speaker 2: they're chanting, like the shit they're doing.
- 38:11Speaker 1: They're not respectful. I don't know what's going on in life.
- 38:13Speaker 2: And then they think they're like a fucking a million
- 38:14Speaker 2: bucks and then literally they're not. I was probably had
- 38:17Speaker 2: a similar mindset when I was nineteen. Yeah, and then
- 38:20Speaker 2: really small and they think they're fucking massive.
- 38:22Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 38:22Speaker 1: Yeah, I love seeing like a young guy wearing a
- 38:29Speaker 1: singlet like a tight, you know, tank to the gym.
- 38:34Speaker 1: And I'm gonna say I'm I love the confidence. A
- 38:36Speaker 1: big fan of the confidence. But I don't know, I
- 38:40Speaker 1: think it's just is something that you should live to
- 38:42Speaker 1: the big boys, not even me. I've done it before.
- 38:46Speaker 1: I don't think I could wear a tank to the
- 38:47Speaker 1: gym anymore. Yeah, yeah, I wear like a muscle tea.
- 38:50Speaker 1: Yeah gym. Yeah, Oh, it's a funny one. It is
- 38:54Speaker 1: a funny one. I mean, look, good luck. I suppose
- 38:57Speaker 1: that's all we can say. Yeah, So Thank you for listening.
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- 39:02Speaker 1: head over to Patreon at relatables dot com, Ford Slash
- 39:05Speaker 1: No Wrong, patreon dot com, fort Slash Relatable sixty nine.
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