Latest / Privycast / Ep. 105 Pile Survivors w/ Austin Kent and Gavin Low (Privychat 22)

Transcript

Ep. 105 Pile Survivors w/ Austin Kent and Gavin Low (Privychat 22) · Privycast

0:00
>> Speaker A: The coffee shop sold. Yeah,
0:04
that's right. And then we. How much? They, like,
0:07
force. They, like, force you to spend $100 there every year. Yeah, that's
0:09
right. Get $100 credit. You had to
0:12
buy. Use
0:15
your loser kids get fricked. They had that. Cool.
0:18
Uh, what was it? Like, a milkshake
0:21
machine? Yeah, it was there for, like,
0:24
a year. Like, it was like moo lattes or
0:27
something like that. Yeah.
0:30
I don't remember what it was called. It was good, though. You just pick out your little thing, and
0:33
they put it in the machine. Yet another corbin
0:35
scam.
0:39
I guarantee you, if you would have went in there, because I think it was
0:41
in the. In the.
0:44
I guarantee you, if they're like, hey, hit me one of the
0:47
milkshakes. But then sling some coffee on top of it, they'd be like,
0:50
oh, we can't do that. It's not authorized.
0:52
Yeah, too much caffeine. 10:00 on a Friday night.
0:55
Mike didn't come down. Caffeine curfew here.
0:58
Mike didn't come down. Gateway drug mixing up for
1:01
vodka. Welcome
1:04
to Corbin. Yes. Oh, man.
1:10
Welcome back to privy. Privy is a podcast
1:13
about bathrooms recorded from
1:16
my home bathroom. And this week, I am
1:18
joined, uh, in my home
1:21
restroom with. We're, uh, all in here with the
1:24
door shut. Uh, I've got Austin
1:26
Kent, former guest of the show. Austin Kent. Austin,
1:29
how are you? I'm doing great. Great. Uh, and
1:32
Gavin Lau. Gavin, how are you? Groovy.
1:35
Groovy. Um, so
1:38
do your wives know that you're in here? Right? Like.
1:42
No. Are they aware that this is something that was happening?
1:45
No, mostly because I didn't tell her
1:48
that. She just thinks we're hanging out. Yeah.
1:52
Just in the bathroom. Yes.
1:56
I'm happier than anything. So, you
1:59
guys, I was trying to figure
2:01
out the crux
2:04
moment that our paths all crossed.
2:07
Um, to my recollection, it was 2014.
2:10
Now, I might be wrong on that, but,
2:13
um, in that you
2:16
all were roommates at Corbin.
2:19
Do you want to speak to,
2:21
uh, your
2:24
experience at Corbin or as
2:26
roommates at Corbin in any way? Any
2:29
comment I'd actually like to
2:31
hear. Perfect. Well, we have probably two
2:34
sides of it, because
2:37
I think usually your second year roommate, usually you're
2:40
pretty set on, like, all right, I
2:43
know people at Corbin. These are my friends, stuff like that.
2:46
But Austin and I weren't, like, friends.
2:49
I wouldn't say we were acquaintances. We lived in the
2:52
same dorm, but we weren't friends. I'm trying to think of
2:55
any interactions we may have had prior to being
2:57
roommates, and none come to mind. Yeah. Well, who is
3:00
your PG interactions for? Yeah,
3:03
yeah, all r rated. Uh, who was
3:06
your freshman year roommate? I wasn't naked a lot my freshman year.
3:08
There it is. Um, who was my. What? Who was your
3:11
freshman year roommate? My freshman year roommate
3:14
was, um. I don't remember his
3:17
name. Was it Mike?
3:20
No, it was the guy with the short hair. He left after,
3:23
like, a year or two. I forget his name.
3:26
The guy with the short. We like Jesse. No,
3:29
I know his name. It's driving me nuts now. Um,
3:32
we pretty much said, hey, what's up in the morning
3:35
and good night at night. That was the extent of our
3:38
interaction. What was his name? He. Guy with the short
3:41
hair. Uh, I think he played. I don't know if he
3:44
played basketball or not. He looked, like, kind of like
3:47
me, but he had, like, really short buzz cut and was,
3:50
like, not around very much. He was really nice, but
3:52
was it blankenship? No. That's what I was guessing. I
3:55
was like, oh, I don't even.
3:59
Awkward. It's fine. Anyways, he had a roommate that was forgettable,
4:02
it sounds like. He didn't hang out with
4:05
me and badly and Boardman and all of
4:08
us. He didn't come to the Bible studies
4:11
and Adam and all that stuff, so we didn't see him much. Right.
4:14
He was kind of just out doing his thing. I think he was
4:17
a, uh, Pge
4:20
PvG. He's fornicating
4:23
down. He got stuck in Davidson when there was no more
4:26
room in, so
4:29
he stayed at the school. He just was like, hey, I'm moving out
4:32
of here. Maybe. I don't know. But that would have been back
4:35
when PBG was the only mixed
4:37
dorm, so he's probably pretty bummed that there was not, like,
4:40
a lot of boobs
4:43
flopping. I don't know. He seemed like a nice
4:45
guy. Uh, yeah. This is driving me nuts. I, like,
4:48
want to pull out a yearbook now. I mean, one day,
4:52
it'll all click into place. Knoxiger. That was
4:54
his last name. Excuse me? His last name was
4:58
Dawson. Yeah, Dawson. Yeah.
5:02
But I was only roommates with him for one semester,
5:04
and then he started rooming with that Shane, and then he
5:07
left, and then, uh. Wait, what? Who
5:10
replaced him second semester? So I didn't know. He went through,
5:13
like, two roommates. Had one year. See, this is.
5:17
Who was the guy that, like, about daddy issues?
5:20
Oh, man. You
5:23
might have been the first one to last a full year. Gavin?
5:26
Yeah. For me,
5:30
he left, and then some other guy replaced him. I don't remember who he was, but
5:33
I remember he played League of Legends and he was. It's interesting how they
5:36
all go missing, though. Yeah, it's a match made in heaven. League of
5:39
Legends. We weren't, like, super close friends, though. We
5:42
didn't talk much other than he played League of Legends with everyone else,
5:45
and they're like, you need to play League of Legends. And that's why I started playing league. Oh, that's how
5:48
you got going on it? Yeah. So how did he
5:51
break it to you? Like, hey, we're not roommates anymore,
5:55
dude. I don't even remember. I don't remember
5:58
at. I. I don't
6:01
know. I don't reminisce about Corbin a whole lot.
6:04
That's good. Yeah, there's a lot of things that dark chapter that are
6:07
kind of just. I don't care to.
6:09
Yeah, that's fair.
6:12
I don't remember at all when he told me. I don't even know if he's the one who told me.
6:15
It might have just been like, oh, I'm your new roommate.
6:17
Dawson left type of thing.
6:21
Dawson's gone. He's,
6:23
like, super out of breath. I have removed him. He's got dirt all
6:26
over his hands. I've removed him permanently.
6:30
You're with me now. Don't have to worry about him anymore.
6:33
Yeah. And then.
6:35
So you guys became roommates your sophomore
6:38
year? Yes. Right. Because
6:42
I was in need of a new roommate.
6:45
And Austin
6:48
was fun.
6:51
No, but I remember I came and
6:54
talked to you about. It wasn't just like, hey, man, I
6:57
think I just casually brought it up like you'd sit at the computer, but I have no
7:00
other options here.
7:03
I had originally wanted to be roommates with Kyle
7:05
Boardman first semester
7:08
because I knew that him and badly weren't going to
7:11
be rooming because didn't he
7:20
get married after freshman year? No.
7:22
There was some reason that him and Boardman weren't going to be
7:25
roommates. Everyone thought they were going to
7:28
be, but then what
7:31
did he end up doing? He ended up being in that. They were roommates.
7:33
Were they roommates again? Yeah, I think they were not going to
7:36
be for some reason. And then me and him were talking about it,
7:39
like, oh, yeah, let's be roommates. And then he changed his
7:42
mind or something. They were back to being roommates
7:45
again. They were in Adams hall, like, just down.
7:48
So then I was like, well, that was who I was planning on being roommates
7:51
with. Now I don't.
7:56
Okay, so Travis, Chad and I were in the
7:59
townhouse during all that? Mhm. And then we got
8:02
relocated to Davidson the second
8:04
semester, and we got shoved in the room that
8:07
was in the corner in between who?
8:10
Boy? Um, badly and Boardman
8:13
and, uh, Sien Fuegos and Reddiger,
8:16
which. Here we are. How do you remember that?
8:20
I don't remember who was in our hall sophomore year. There's trouble
8:23
in the high seas no matter how you cut it. Uh, uh. I
8:26
just remember the basketball or
8:29
the dweebs next to us next door, keeping in
8:32
showers, uh, the baseball
8:34
cronies, the six pack in the.
8:39
I think. And I think Jay White and Kellen were on the
8:42
other side of you. Because Kellen used to have. Or Jay White used to have us, like,
8:45
screaming fits in the middle of the night or something.
8:48
You remember that? He would, like,
8:51
get his head off. Wasn't bagginst off next to us?
8:53
No, Sammy bags was in Balio because they did the,
8:56
like, sophomore year. Oh, no, you're right. That
8:59
would have been the next year. I don't know where bags was. He
9:02
was either next to us or two doors down. Because I remember them doing
9:05
that weird thing where they'd, like, go into his room at night and people would get
9:08
abducted.
9:13
Strange. I forgot about the
9:15
screaming fits. Yeah. And you'd hear, uh, jy playing
9:18
his guitar through the other
9:21
side. Yeah. Playing, uh,
9:24
wonderwall, I think, though, basically,
9:31
I think he's, like, doing music, like, legit
9:34
now, maybe. Really? I think so. I think he's got, like, a
9:37
band. He made it. The Jay white band. Isn't that what he called
9:40
it? I don't know what it's called now. I remember him having something,
9:43
like, shortly after. It's like a worship thing at first, but I
9:45
think he does actual
9:48
music stuff. I don't know. Good for him. Yeah.
9:50
Ah, so speaking of weird things, like, you talked about
9:53
this abduction. There was other, um, weird
9:56
occurrences that would happen in the dorms. Terry,
9:58
um,
10:04
we can talk about it if you want. I don't know. It's
10:06
not technically therapy, but if it needs to be, it can be. But
10:09
do you remember
10:12
the pile that would happen in your bed
10:15
often? No. You don't remember that? No, I don't
10:18
remember that. I remember happening in your bed. It never happened. In
10:21
Gavin, it never happened. I remember once, forcefully, against
10:24
my will, on my bed. It never happened
10:26
where you say, usually I do not recall. Yeah, I do not
10:29
recall. Who is,
10:31
uh, Micah?
10:36
Well, anyway, he'd be a guest for the eight. People aren't supposed to make
10:39
sandwiches out of themselves. Yeah. Not with that
10:42
many men involved. Not with that many men
10:44
involved with that few clothes. Yeah,
10:48
no, I know it didn't happen in my room
10:50
because Chad and Travis, that ain't their
10:53
thing. We didn't have sex. I want that to be for the record
10:56
here. Hey,
10:59
there's a lot of implications.
11:04
I did not have sexual relationship with those
11:07
men.
11:13
And the best part is, it's not even the most
11:17
homosexual thing that happened at that school.
11:20
So there you go. I do remember that
11:23
that event would always come to a screeching halt when one person
11:26
would all of a sudden enter the room.
11:29
Yeah,
11:32
the g. Yeah. Well, yes.
11:35
Which radio did. Oh, my
11:38
God. Which. That's a great help,
11:41
dude.
11:46
I don't know, man. I was trying to remember the
11:49
other day because I know the three of us were
11:52
involved with that and Micah was involved with it, but I was trying so hard to remember
11:55
if there was ever any others because
11:58
there's so many questionable players that have come out
12:01
of that school in the last 510 years.
12:04
And I was just racking my brain of, like, were they ever
12:07
involved?
12:10
Are we going to have a me, too movement out of that room?
12:18
I had a
12:20
Corbin,
12:24
uh. Talk to Gilbert about it. No,
12:27
I wasn't particularly. I did like to get
12:30
air, though. That was my. Oh, yeah. I was more
12:33
of a solo man. Han
12:35
solo. I'm doing the worm is basically, what,
12:38
at the top bunk. On the top bunk with
12:41
several other people in the room.
12:43
Unironically. Yeah.
12:50
It's all those diving practices,
12:55
which you have that one diving video of you hitting your head on the board,
12:58
which is.
13:00
I've shown you that Bob Mennery clip
13:03
or whatever. It's like fabriga, uh, the Olympics.
13:09
You've seen that one? I think so, yeah. Where he,
13:12
like, he dubs over it, basically. That's what he
13:15
does. Oh, yeah. And the dude completely, like, belly
13:18
flops. I think I
13:21
have seen that, actually. Yeah. Uh, I know you're talking about. That's basically like,
13:24
we should dub over that. Oh, my God,
13:28
I forgot about that. Funny dude.
13:31
Yeah. Um, so you guys as
13:34
roommates, though. So you've entered the roommate
13:36
stage. Do you remember?
13:39
I mean, we're almost ten years removed now, which is
13:42
troubling sometimes. Think about.
13:45
I guess it's not ten. Maybe ten. Uh, do you
13:47
guys remember any weird
13:50
habits or
13:53
roommate isms that each of you would have?
13:56
I don't. I'm sure Gavin might
13:59
also. Why is it that you don't remember any?
14:02
I was checked out. Checked out. I was
14:05
checked out. I was checked out.
14:08
Dude, all I did sophomore year was literally just
14:11
play league of legends and update my Pokemon
14:14
card board outside my room. That was, like, the two things I
14:16
cared about. The first time I ever
14:19
met Bailey, she was in the room for, like,
14:22
1015 minutes before I knew she was there, and I had
14:25
to turn around and be like, oh, hi, there's a girl
14:27
here.
14:31
That's about how much I pay attention to the middle of a sexual
14:34
joke. Also self aware. Yeah.
14:37
Gavin saved my soul with Chuck. That was how
14:40
we came together. It was good
14:43
stuff. Uh, I do
14:46
remember
14:49
some good moments of
14:51
arctic chill. Oh, dude. Remember arctic chill?
14:54
Yes, I remember arctic chill. Ah. I tried to bring that,
14:57
carry that legacy on, but turns out
14:59
women get colder. Have you tried
15:02
arctic chill for Kelly? Uh, we sleep
15:05
with a fan on, but we don't open the window. And
15:08
do. I mean, arctic chill is. I still dream of that
15:11
one because Anna's a hard no on arctic chill. I've tried as
15:13
well. Kelly gets really cold easily,
15:16
but gets really hot after she
15:19
falls asleep. Like, her body temperature gets, like, insanely high.
15:22
It's weird. Yeah. I don't know
15:25
more, you know? But arctic chill was amazing.
15:28
Yeah. And I think I started that. I think I discovered that
15:31
the year before. Whatever. But I realized, I
15:34
mean, uh, there is some science to it that you sleep better because now
15:36
they sell those things that cool your bed down,
15:40
and you have to pay. Like, they have sheets that do
15:42
it. So we were doing the discount version of it where basically
15:45
you throw a cyclone fan in the window and just
15:48
blast when it's, like, 30 degrees outside.
15:51
So the room is a brisk 40 when you go. Icicles
15:54
forming in the room. But that was one of
15:57
the reasons that I stumbled into your room,
15:59
because Chad and Travis were both from
16:02
California, and it's, like, 1000 degrees,
16:05
and they would jack the floor heaters up in our room
16:08
to, like, 80,
16:11
and I would just be miserable because
16:14
I'm not from that. And I walk down the hall,
16:17
and I can feel the ICE box just move into
16:20
the hall. What are these guys doing in
16:23
here? Come on in. Yeah. I want
16:26
to say, you probably spent probably, like,
16:28
darn near half your nights by the end of the year. Oh,
16:31
yeah. In our room on that couch.
16:34
I halfway lived on that couch. I remember us playing
16:37
one time. I don't know how it started or what the think it was, but we
16:40
played, like, risk on the floor of our room. Do you remember
16:43
that? Until, like, one in the morning or something
16:46
like that. I don't remember. We had the whole board game out. We
16:49
were like, you like risk? It's a fun game. I don't remember why we were playing it, but that was
16:52
kind of fun. I just remember that I don't even like risk. That and
16:55
just watching shows. Chuck shows. Chuck. Yeah,
16:58
and that 70 show. Oh, yes. Was that your first time
17:01
watching through the office? Did we ever get through the office? I
17:04
have still never watched all the way through the office. Maybe I
17:07
tried. I'm pretty sure that I've seen every episode of the office,
17:10
maybe even more than once, but not. But not in order. Not
17:12
in order chronologically. I've been around, like, five or six
17:16
people who have all watched all the way through it, and it's just been on so many times. What
17:18
are you doing? Much of it. That's a fun fact. You can
17:21
lead with that when you're doing things like never have I
17:24
ever. Or something like that. Yeah. Never have I ever watched the office in
17:27
chronological order. I sat through, like, a couple of
17:30
seasons in chronological order, but never, like, from start
17:33
to finish. I've either come in on someone
17:37
as they were already watching or started it and then not
17:39
finished. Uh, yeah, but
17:42
Chuck for sure has, like, a. That's, like,
17:45
forever imprinted Chuck and subway
17:48
afterwards. Do you remember
17:52
your grandma would send you those subway gift cards?
17:55
You would redeem them for league coins.
17:58
I don't know why, but for some reason. Yeah. League of Legends had this
18:01
thing where you could turn in subway gift cards as
18:04
if there were money. It's the subway,
18:07
Chuck. Uh, League of Legends funnel. They just moved the
18:10
money down the line. Yeah, by some
18:13
CEO for whoever makes league. And
18:16
it's with Chuck. Something like that. We got to get him going.
18:19
I actually just watched through Chuck again recently with my
18:22
wife. She's never seen it. Casey.
18:26
She liked it, though. We watched it right before we
18:28
moved, like, around Christmas. It's
18:30
awesome. It's a feel good show. Yeah.
18:33
And then that 70s show definitely aged.
18:36
Has it aged pretty, like. I wouldn't say it aged poorly,
18:39
but anything that uses, like, CGI or anything is,
18:42
like, whoa, yikes. And they're, like, using cell
18:45
phones that have, like, flips and stuff.
18:47
Oh, yeah. From the early two dude
18:53
at the high school. And you might run into this with your
18:56
job. Um, are you still doing the same thing? Perfect.
18:59
I send them your way.
19:03
Yes, but
19:08
they don't understand. Phones are not
19:11
computers. They genuinely think all phones
19:14
are, like, tablets. They don't get
19:17
it. Um, they don't make, really, phones that aren't
19:19
anymore. I mean, they probably make little track phones for people who want to commit
19:22
crimes. But, Duke, no track phones have data.
19:25
Yeah, the pay as you go.
19:28
How many pay as you goes? Do you come by in a week
19:34
or. Uh, they're 911 only. Phones too.
19:37
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, all the time.
19:40
Yeah. You just got a bag of them that you just collect
19:43
them? Yeah, I mean, I swear,
19:46
some people I interact with have more cell phones
19:49
than I've ever seen somebody.
19:52
Yeah. Uh, we do that for vapes at the high
19:55
school. We get us, like, ziplocs full of vapes by the end of the
19:57
week. Like, little USB looking ones. All sorts
20:00
of them. I mean, some of these kids got their rigs. I'm
20:03
like, too, your dad got to get your fixed. There's no
20:06
way that's yours. Oh, right. Yeah, they have them for
20:09
dad, and then it's like, well, sorry, bud. That's
20:12
crazy. Yeah, he's like, brock it
20:15
now,
20:21
defeated there.
20:25
You need to show your dad that video. I need to show my
20:28
dad? Yeah, you need to show Craig the
20:31
video, uh, of Ashley
20:34
and Brock's wife. I don't know.
20:36
Wife,
20:39
14. In the show or something.
20:43
Brock? Yeah. No, I think he's an adult.
20:46
Is he? Yeah, he owns a gym. He's only a little bit
20:49
older than ash, and he. No way. No way. He's, like,
20:52
20, dude. And that's weird. He's a 20 year old who
20:55
wanders. That was why the whole show was weird. No, there's more
20:57
than one reason why the whole show was weird. Well, they killed Ash
21:00
off. Like, he's done. I heard that.
21:03
They moved on. They didn't kill him, but, like, moving
21:06
on. New main character just straight up killed him off. That would have been
21:09
funny. They didn't. It was the most lackluster thing I've ever seen
21:12
in their life. It's like, yay, he won. He's the champion.
21:15
All right, guys, we'll see you next season. Took him 30 years, but he
21:18
did it. Yeah, still ten.
21:22
Anna and I watched all of those, and
21:25
the fights were, like, an hour to an hour and a half
21:28
for one fight. What do you mean? Like,
21:31
ash versus whoever. There was two of them
21:34
that each were, like, an hour and a half long. The battle. Yeah,
21:37
it was, like, four episodes in a row. A single one battle. Uh,
21:40
yes. What? Yep.
21:42
Wow. They really, like, hammed it
21:45
up. Did he have Charizard with him?
21:47
No, it didn't count. It's not real.
21:50
Charizard's butt. Not my ash. Don't even. Charizard
21:53
oh, Charizard watched and cheered him on.
21:58
Yeah, he did fight a,
22:03
uh. Uh, Gavin, have you had any new
22:06
bathroom situations that have happened while
22:09
on the force? Um, any
22:12
poops in the car?
22:17
Um, I, um,
22:20
can't think of any more recent ones off the top of my. That's
22:23
good right now. Yeah. Which is a good thing. Yeah,
22:26
keep those numbers down. No, I mean,
22:29
I've just had continually, like. It's not uncommon that you have
22:32
people pee themselves.
22:35
Um, but
22:38
usually there's enough of a
22:41
well in the footwell back there that it doesn't leak
22:44
forward towards the front. But, no, I haven't had
22:47
any crazy explosions. Um,
22:54
why is this thing got a footwell back there? You'll
22:57
know. Swamp car. The only thing I can think of is, um,
23:00
not too long ago,
23:04
long story short, we were getting somebody out of a car,
23:08
um, at gunpoint, and
23:11
they got their hands up or whatever, and it
23:13
was a female half and a male half. And when the female half
23:16
gets out, uh, where's the male? I don't know. One of
23:19
them. They had their hands raised or whatever. So usually that kind of yanks up your shirt a
23:22
little bit. You can see, like, their underwear, and there's a giant
23:25
skid stain just right down the middle.
23:28
And we're all just joking, right? Look at the skid stain.
23:32
That's close as it gets. But
23:37
that's so embarrassing. Which is why, I guess, more people need
23:39
bidets in their life. Yeah, dude.
23:42
The problem with a bidet, though, is it gets
23:45
significantly wet.
23:48
A lot of water. Yeah. People think like, oh, if I use the
23:51
bidet, I can cut out toilet paper. But you
23:54
use just about as much toilet paper drying it
23:57
off. Unless you've got a sticky thing going
24:00
on back there. But, like, a
24:02
sticky. That's not me, dude. Mine's liquid every
24:05
time. 100%. Um, your
24:08
poop is liquid? Well, it's not liquid, but it's
24:11
not a job to deal with. Uh,
24:14
some people. I don't know who. There's a comedian, he talks
24:17
about the marker where you just keep wiping,
24:20
and it's just like, you wipe and wipe and wipe, and it just keeps
24:23
going. Mhm. The bidet will solve
24:25
that. M because it'll just blast it all out.
24:29
But is that parks and rec? I think
24:31
that's Andy.
24:35
He's, like, at the doctor's office. It's like a marker
24:38
back there.
24:43
It'll solve that. But it's pretty wet.
24:46
You got to use eight
24:49
squares at least to get it fully dry, I think.
24:51
M it's not a whole lot, is
24:54
it? I don't know. To me, it's
24:57
two wipes of four. That's his standard.
25:00
Yeah. So normally when I wipe, I do three squares.
25:03
That's all you need. It depends on what you're doing.
25:06
Looks like you're dealing with it. Looks like a nice, solid
25:09
signature. They haven't invented, uh, bidets yet
25:12
that do, like, a hand warming blow type of thing
25:14
afterwards. Those. Oh, like an
25:17
air. Oh, yeah, I think they do, yeah.
25:20
Japan's gotta have them, like, I'm sure. Nice.
25:22
Yeah. Have you seen those? I don't know if they're like,
25:25
I see something on social media. I don't know if it's real or not,
25:28
but it's like a bathroom. You saw it on TikTok, but it
25:31
was like a bathroom in public. I'm assuming in
25:34
Japan is where they do this stuff, but
25:38
it was one way glass, and so
25:41
it's like you were pooping, and you could see everybody walking
25:43
around outside, around you, but they couldn't see in.
25:46
I'm a big fan of that. Felt like you were. That's a lot of power. Like, it's
25:49
just sitting there in the middle of a street corner, like, taking a poop, and
25:52
everyone could feel that way. Yeah. So the
25:55
thing is, here's the problem with that, is some of those one
25:58
way, if you get close enough, you can still.
26:01
I don't know if it was real. I just saw some of them are electronic.
26:05
Uh, churches have this. Some churches have this
26:08
now for breastfeeding and stuff,
26:11
but it has an electronic thing where
26:14
you hit the button and the shade activates in
26:17
the glass fog.
26:20
Yeah, we have those at McLaren. Yeah. And you can turn it off
26:22
and it sees through. And I would be worried if I was,
26:25
like, getting brave and taking a dump
26:31
or power goes out, and now it's just,
26:34
hello, you got your berries hanging
26:37
out. Wait, how do they implement those at
26:40
your job? Uh,
26:42
um. They're remodeling all the units right
26:45
now, and our unit hasn't
26:48
gotten it yet, but a lot of the bathrooms have.
26:52
There's different kinds of units. They've always had them over in the mental
26:54
health units, because at nighttime,
26:58
the way their units set up is they have one graveyard
27:00
person, and they're all in individual rooms. So when they have to go to the
27:03
bathroom, they don't have toilets in their room. So they have to unlock their door
27:06
electronically, let them out, and they go to the bathroom, then they go back to their
27:09
room, close the door, but while they're in the bathroom,
27:12
you can't physically walk out there to
27:15
watch them. And so there's a little thing in
27:18
the office that the wall is shared. The
27:20
office is on one side, and the bathroom is on the other. And there's a window
27:23
that. It's like two pieces of
27:26
glass, and then in the middle, it releases,
27:29
like a fog. So you flip a switch, and the fog
27:32
just goes away. And you can see almost immediately right
27:35
inside. Literally, the fog,
27:38
it's something. I don't know, it's like a gas or what it is
27:42
to me. If you've ever seen that glass
27:45
that almost looks not textured. I don't know what the right word
27:48
fog is. Right. But, uh. Oh, man.
27:51
Sometimes shower, like, showers have it. You can't see
27:54
through it, but you can see, like, vague. It's like
27:57
there's something. Temperature or air
27:59
pressure, something translucent makes it. Yeah, but
28:02
comes and goes with it. It's weird.
28:05
Yeah, it's strange. So you guys have literally a potty
28:08
office that you're. Oh, let's go. Kids
28:11
do. Our bathrooms don't have that.
28:15
You said you have an officer that controls the potty who gets to
28:17
go? Um, their units do. Our unit
28:20
doesn't. Um, but the more secure units do.
28:23
Yeah. All the doors are electronic
28:26
on those units. The high security prison pocket units.
28:29
Yeah. Uh,
28:32
doors are loud. Our units just
28:34
have, like, just a dorm. And they have a bathroom in there. Yeah. You don't
28:37
have to do anything. Yeah, it's strange. It's
28:40
kind of cool. I've never seen that kind of doing
28:43
upper deckers. What?
28:48
Kids ever try any, like, upper deckers or pranks on anybody
28:51
there? What do you mean, upper decker? Oh, for real?
28:54
Yeah. Oh, you take a crap in the top part of the toilet.
28:59
Uh, I've never seen that. I mean, it's their
29:02
toilet, so I wouldn't really care if they did.
29:06
All right. They have weird rules
29:08
about certain things. There's certain
29:11
things that they have, like a code that you don't
29:14
do. Gang signs pooping in the
29:17
community toilet is probably one of them. Here's
29:19
something actually I was curious about.
29:22
Stabbed. The food that's eaten there, is
29:25
it made by the kids or
29:27
by other people? It's prepared by the
29:30
kitchen staff. I don't know who makes it, so it's not made by makes it, but there
29:33
are kids who get hired who can go work in the kitchen.
29:36
It's overseen by staff.
29:39
Airmark, though? Uh, I have no idea.
29:42
Do you get free meals when you're there? Yeah, that's
29:45
nice. See, that's a nice perk right there. It would be nice if the
29:48
food was worth eating, but free food
29:50
sometimes. I do eat there sometimes, but it's
29:53
hit or pretty hit. They don't even let us eat any lunch at the
29:56
school. They're just like, no. For whatever reason,
29:59
their dinners are terrible. Usually, uh, every once in a while,
30:02
their lunches are usually actually pretty stellar. They
30:05
have, like, spaghetti, and it's good. Oh, shit. For the most
30:08
part, it's, like, really good. Wow. But for whatever reason, dinner
30:11
is always, like, undercooked tater tots. Disgusting
30:14
pizza that I refuse to eat. You
30:17
take that pizza and just squish it on the tater tot and let
30:20
it. No,
30:23
you need more creativity. I. To make their pizza is worse than
30:26
airmark pizza, probably. Yeah. Depends
30:29
on the level of airmark you get, though. That's true, because
30:32
we all learned that the prison down the road had
30:34
a higher level at one point. I don't know if they still do,
30:38
but, uh, there were people who confirmed that, and
30:40
I'm like, okay, thanks for that.
30:43
Got to commit some crime. Good
30:46
grub. Yeah. I
30:49
mean, you could commit a crime at corn, but it did nothing.
30:52
Yeah. Didn't care. It's fine. Yeah.
30:55
Grades, baby. Just get suspended for
30:59
a couple of days, become a project.
31:02
Okay. Yes.
31:05
That one didn't age well either. Yes.
31:11
He's like, well, I'm not
31:14
recording. I want a recording.
31:19
Hey, listen, they're on a registry. At this
31:22
point, it's public information. It, uh, is. It's. My
31:24
opinion of it, it's just a surprising for how small of a school
31:27
of that. How many people ended up on registry. Yeah. Per
31:30
capita, that we know that ratio.
31:33
That we know that we know. You're
31:36
right.
31:38
Okay. It's impossible that that
31:41
is. As often as it happened.
31:44
Yeah, it is pretty world's record.
31:46
Yeah. Corbin. There's always, I don't know, something.
31:49
They don't put that in the student hands up thing when they're
31:52
like, come to Corbin. Fun fact.
31:55
Fun fact. Our student to faculty ratio
31:58
is 20 to one, Corbin. It just has that. Your chance
32:01
of becoming a registered sex offender.
32:05
It always had that feel that there was some kind of giant
32:08
conspiracy that I would not even
32:11
be 100% surprised if we found out there
32:14
was, like, a giant sex trafficking ring that would help take
32:16
tunnels. I
32:19
would be like, oh, that's really sad. But did we see
32:22
it coming? Kind of.
32:26
And they just told you it was a TV hospital back in the day
32:29
just to be like, oh, that's why there's tunnels underground here.
32:32
Yeah. That's why they still work. That's why I still hear female
32:35
voices crying out from underneath.
32:38
Yeah. Do you remember, though, the, uh, go
32:41
to the water tower, the dorm
32:44
schedule, the chore schedule? No, because we
32:47
didn't follow it.
32:51
Whoever's idea that was
32:54
was. You know how you're going to be in debt for the
32:57
rest of forever? Uh, well,
33:00
it doesn't include your cleaning. I'm
33:03
guessing they were running out. What the heck?
33:05
Yeah. That's why I was like,
33:08
uh. This, uh, is not right. You come out of tuition?
33:11
No, because it's one thing to clean your own room,
33:14
but that chore thing was like, let's do the
33:17
hallway, too, kids. Like, let's vacuum the whole place. And it was
33:19
like, okay, yeah. Are you going to give us a discount on room and
33:22
board, or. You don't have janitors? My
33:25
thing is like, hire one of these students to be a
33:28
janitor. Yeah. Because there's countless people that went to school
33:31
there that would have been like, heck, yeah. That's a campus job right there. Yeah.
33:34
Besides, the guy was really nice, too. I
33:37
think his name was Scott. Yes.
33:40
He's like, a christian influencer online now. It's funny.
33:43
I mean, it's not funny. Well, check that out. Yeah. He
33:45
makes little mini
33:48
devotionals while he walks. Does he still
33:51
work there? I have no idea. I have no, uh.
33:57
I don't know. Other than some of the
34:00
teaching staff, I don't know a lot of the people that work there anymore.
34:03
Do you know Lauren Culkins? Lauren Culkins?
34:06
Yeah. Is that like, he's a.
34:10
Don't. I don't know, to be honest. But he's an adjunct professor at
34:13
Corbin. I was wondering if, you know. Yeah,
34:16
uh, I had him as a professor
34:18
at. I don't remember, what, four?
34:21
He's kind of an older guy. He has a
34:24
mustache and, uh, a beard. I didn't
34:27
realize it until he retired from
34:29
McLaren, because he was a program
34:32
director at McLaren. Interesting. And I was like. Every
34:35
time I saw him, I was like, this guy looks so familiar, but he's a super
34:38
nice guy. Like, super cool. But he retired recently from
34:41
McLaren, and it wasn't until he left that it clicked in my brain.
34:44
I was like, oh, my God. Because I was
34:46
like, is he just retiring? And someone's like, well, no, he's
34:49
still an adject professor at Corbin. But I was like,
34:52
that's where I know him from. And so I was like, oh, wow.
34:55
Okay.
34:58
He probably did because I had him in the class and he always kind of
35:01
acted like he knew me, even though we didn't interact much at the school. And I
35:04
feel bad now because I probably,
35:08
um, remember, I think I had him for like, maybe
35:11
he's like your guardian angel. I don't remember. It's pretty good theology.
35:14
He's a cool guy, though. But I just didn't know if you knew him or
35:17
not. No, I know Culkin's
35:19
hall. I don't know if it's named after him. Maybe
35:22
like his dad. They don't usually build things in people's names until after they
35:25
die. Or if you give enough money. Or if you give enough
35:28
money. That is more where it comes
35:31
from. That's more accurate.
35:34
Yes. You gave less than
35:37
six figure. You get a bench,
35:40
you get a memorial plaque
35:43
next to the disc golf that we took out and put it down
35:46
the hill where nobody wants to play. Oh, they took
35:49
that out? Yeah, it's down by the townhouses now.
35:52
Uh, it used to be like through the campus. That's actually kind of a
35:55
great feature of the campus, that it's like, hey, not only
35:58
while you walk into class, you have to dodge
36:01
80 mph. That could. Do you know why they moved it?
36:04
Part of the reason why. Was there an incident? I chucked
36:07
a frisbee through Balio's window. I
36:10
was there. I was there. Yeah. Uh, all
36:13
the Ras were out of town on some retreat.
36:16
And I'm like calling them and I'm calling campus
36:18
safety and I'm calling all these people like, hey, I broke a
36:21
window and nobody answers. And I'm like, you know
36:24
what? I'm done. Did the first
36:27
week stay in there or did it. Oh, yeah. I was
36:30
like. It was like chalking it up to a loss there.
36:34
This poor girl just now has a hole in her
36:37
room. It was
36:40
over a summer break or Christmas break. No, this was
36:42
like during the school year. It was on a weekend, it was like a
36:45
Friday, and they were doing like an RA retreat for
36:48
the weekend. It's really smart. You take all of. But in the middle
36:51
of the school year. Yeah. So there are other people around. Yeah.
36:55
And it happened to go the room of a person who was at the
36:58
retreat? No, it was just some girl's room, but she
37:01
wasn't in the room when it happened. But I can't go up
37:04
there and it's like, not my
37:07
dorm. Crazy. I've got a wiener.
37:11
Christianity.
37:16
Does corbin care about that? No. If you say you're
37:19
a woman, are you allowed to just go in there, maybe.
37:24
Someone's got to be the first to try. Yeah. Any
37:27
rainbow, uh, flags at Corbin, maybe? Me, too, at
37:30
Corbin. Me, too. At Corbin. That
37:33
was a real thing. Let's stand in solidarity. You know what
37:36
I'm saying? It was a real thing based on a fake thing based on a real
37:39
thing.
37:44
One day there's going to be just, like, a
37:47
picture of that, too, at Corbin thing that gets out, and it's
37:50
just going to be superimposed with all of the nonsense
37:52
that we've heard of. Oh,
37:55
boy. Didn't they have some, um, up on a whiteboard
37:58
in the coffee shop, and you edited some of them or something like that? Oh,
38:01
yeah. You could share your story. Yeah.
38:04
Me, maybe somebody
38:07
goof with people's stuff. It sounds like a Reddiger
38:09
movie
38:14
goofed. Oh, man.
38:16
Yeah. Uh. I miss that guy.
38:20
Good people. Yeah.
38:22
Uh, I think they're back. That's exciting. Watch my son
38:25
tear in here. Oh, my gosh.
38:28
Someone was in my room. Did you guys being
38:31
roommates help you prepare in any way
38:34
for being married? Not in,
38:37
like, a. You know, but, like,
38:40
uh. I don't.
38:45
Subconsciously, maybe
38:48
I was preparing. I was grooming us in the whole
38:54
mean, I guess, other than I think just the
38:56
whole grooming anyways, prepares you for living
38:59
with another person. I think it's what pushed
39:02
Gavin to, uh, ask the question.
39:05
This is not my life. I
39:08
cannot live with other.
39:11
You went to live at the church, and he probably saw
39:14
that went, oh, yeah, I lived in three
39:16
different houses before I got married. With
39:19
dudes. Yeah.
39:21
And you had that one guy, and
39:24
I still felt like
39:28
I wasn't. Not. I wouldn't say they didn't prepare me, but I
39:31
didn't do what I needed
39:34
to do when I lived at those houses. Well, it's a different type. When I got married, I
39:37
actually did the dishes, vacuumed
39:39
and clean things. I did not do that when
39:43
we were just doing our whatever. So I would
39:46
say probably not.
39:52
It gave you an opportunity to get all the
39:55
kinks out of the system, you know what I'm saying? I
39:58
guess, yeah. I think I did get a lot of things
40:00
out that I watched
40:04
those first couple of years of not having parents watching over you
40:07
all the time. There's a lot of things you do that are
40:10
stupid that, uh. Yeah. All right. Nothing says Bible school like
40:13
that. We used to make jokes about the old moral compass, remember?
40:17
He'd be like, secular Seth. Oh,
40:20
pray for Seth.
40:22
2012. He's married now.
40:25
He's, like, wed. He's wed.
40:28
Yeah. He'd do his, like, movie reviews.
40:31
Remember he'd, like, argue with you or somebody
40:33
about a movie? Yeah. I love Seth. He, uh.
40:36
Because I would be, like, looking into it. Because sometimes you just got
40:39
to watch a movie for fun, you know what I'm saying? I was like, yeah, it is fun
40:42
to think about trying to get everybody to watch. It was like, the
40:45
nation. What was it? Memento that of,
40:48
uh, people, kids of no nation or something like that. It's
40:51
something like that, dude, you got to watch or whatever. He's like, no, it's like
40:54
the third. Remember when we all piled into seeing
40:56
Fuegos's room and watched, uh, clockwork
40:59
orange? Were you there for that? Oh, yeah.
41:03
Not knowing what we're getting into. I came in, like,
41:06
halfway through, you be glad. And I was
41:08
like, what the heck is this? Because
41:13
five minutes in,
41:16
it's pretty randy. Wow. Yeah. I was like, oh, and
41:18
it's just a bunch of guys sitting there watching this. It's like, just
41:21
quiet. Gary's got his pants down. Oh,
41:24
shoot.
41:29
I do remember, though, uh, there was, like,
41:32
horror night, and we'd go. Horror night
41:35
and we'd go play scary
41:38
games. Yeah.
41:40
Like fright night or something. Fright night, yeah. And
41:43
remember there was, uh, the slender man
41:46
game.
41:50
It was like a playable trailer for some other
41:53
silence of the lambs or silent hill or something like
41:56
that. I remember that one. It was a game that
41:59
never got, uh. It never got made. But they made a trailer.
42:02
Yeah. And it was just like, that one was spooky.
42:05
That's the one where you're, like, in the hospital, kind of. It was one where
42:07
you farmhouse and
42:10
you were, like, wandering around, but then there was, like, a time loop thing
42:13
on it. I don't know. I don't remember. There's one that you're, like, in a
42:16
hospital and you had to solve a puzzle or something, but they were
42:18
like, those are the demerit things would, like, appear behind you,
42:21
like apparitions and stuff. It was like. It was spooky. There was all
42:24
kinds of stuff like that. Yeah, I remember that. It's
42:27
fun. Um, so,
42:30
Austin, when you were on the show last, you spoke
42:33
about your eye and, uh, the misfortune that happened
42:36
to it. Uh, but what I want is, I
42:39
want Gavin's perspective on the eye.
42:43
Was that started the placenta, or can we work our
42:46
way back? I think that was after we were roommates.
42:49
Yeah. But we were still very much involved. We were very involved in
42:52
your life. Yes. Uh, what was your favorite part
42:55
of all that? Not to, like,
42:59
I think it was, uh, just watching
43:02
things unravel further. Because it started off with, he's
43:04
like, hey, man, like, your eyes look kind of red. He's like,
43:07
yeah. What was it? Oh, you tap
43:10
water, right? You put your. And as a fellow
43:13
contact user, I was like, ooh, that's
43:17
not going to be a good ending bad move. Yeah.
43:20
Because I think there's been, like, one time,
43:23
I think, in a pinch, that I went somewhere and I
43:26
forgot contact solution that. And I have put them in tap water before, and I know how
43:29
bad that felt forever, but I think you did it for. It was
43:31
like a week or two. Week or two? Yeah, it was bad.
43:34
Yeah. Um, I think it was like, all right, well, that's
43:37
not good. And did you power through
43:40
it at one point? I remember
43:43
you saying the sentence, I
43:46
figure my eye makes its own liquid, so I left
43:49
them in overnight. I remember you doing that
43:52
once. I've definitely slept with them in
43:54
before. That was what it was. Usually it's on accident, but there have been a
43:57
few times. Yeah, it was like
44:00
I had no money, and I was, like, going home for
44:03
Christmas break in, like, two weeks or three weeks,
44:06
and I was trying to make this little bit of contact solution
44:08
stretch before I could get my parents to get me some at home, but
44:11
it ran out, and I was like,
44:16
dude, it was such a weird time to
44:19
think back and be like, I
44:22
just remember, like, Chad, travis and I were in the townhouse.
44:25
We didn't have, like. And we
44:28
didn't have airmark, and we would, like, make Mac
44:31
and cheese with water, and it was animals.
44:34
Yeah, but you look back and it's like, it's such a
44:37
simple thing, like, contact solution milk. But
44:40
it's just like, yeah, but
44:42
adults. But, um, the money.
44:45
Also have that slushy money. Yeah.
44:48
So I get to 711. But I
44:51
do remember we were pretty, like, go waste.
44:54
We would joke about his old eye situation, stuff like that.
44:57
But then I remember it got serious when one day he was
45:00
like, yes. So I got home from my appointment and
45:03
doctor said I might lose my eye. Yeah.
45:06
It was like, it was exactly like
45:09
this. You laughing and I
45:11
going, just getting help.
45:14
I knew it was bad when you started wearing the eye patch. Like, that
45:17
was when I went. I didn't even wear it for
45:20
that long. I wore it for, like, maybe two weeks. And I
45:23
was stupid, and I ditched it because Austin and
45:26
I, we started taking some classes together, I
45:29
think. Yeah, we took classes together because I picked up
45:32
some psychology stuff and, uh, we became
45:34
associated that they're like, oh, okay. Those guys are like a pair.
45:37
And then I remember when he wouldn't show up to
45:40
class sometimes for a doctor's appointment, whatever. They're like, bud,
45:43
where's your friend? And I'm like, my friend? And they're like,
45:46
the guy with the eye patch, where's your friend?
45:49
We were kind of like the one I'm looking
45:52
after.
45:54
He's my ward.
45:58
Parents died. Yeah, you got a lot of people.
46:01
He's not very social. You might be at a doctor's appointment
46:04
in Portland, or at your church,
46:07
running the ministry, but not even being allowed
46:10
to be called the person running the ministry.
46:13
Free labor. Here he comes.
46:16
We tried to talk you out of that so many times. We're like, dude, they are using
46:19
you. And you'd be like, no, it's cool. I
46:22
volunteered 35 hours this week. I
46:24
didn't actually record any of my reach stuff till
46:27
the last semester of the last year. And I was like, I got,
46:30
like, 6000 reach credits.
46:33
That's right. The guy that probably had the most reach credits in
46:36
Corbin history and just recorded.
46:39
I wonder if that's still a thing. They, like, changed the rules,
46:42
too. Killed it during COVID I bet that thing's
46:45
done. It was the dumbest thing. Not a
46:47
great model. I hated that forced
46:50
volunteerism breach. Yeah, it's like if you
46:53
just instill in your students, become a part of a church,
46:56
like, get involved a little bit in a church,
46:59
it'll let things play out.
47:05
That was interesting. But I do remember at
47:08
one point you did have to put a placenta, uh, in the eye,
47:11
which I think m he may have already talked about three times,
47:14
but that was painful. One of the more painful
47:17
things I've ever had after birth. We did join him,
47:20
though, on one of his appointments at the Portland. That's the first time I had chick
47:23
fil a. Yes. Oh, that's right. Driving us in,
47:25
the maniac with an eye patch on.
47:28
Like, look at moody going up there.
47:31
Why did we let you drive? I've been driving.
47:34
I know, but one of us could have
47:37
driven. Gas money.
47:39
Gas money, gas power.
47:42
Kelly actually went to my very last
47:44
appointment there. That's crazy. I don't even think we
47:47
were dating. I don't know. I don't remember if she did or
47:50
not. She went to your doctor's appointment. M. You were dating? I don't
47:53
remember. Maybe she
47:56
remember. I thought we drove past. This guy really
47:59
needs someone. I
48:02
had a conversation. I was like, look, I can't look after him any longer.
48:09
That's a lot of responsibility. Have you ever.
48:12
The next question is about the honey jar. I'm just going to let it put the tiger
48:15
on the table and scream at it. Sure. Have you ever told Kelly about the honey
48:18
jar? Like I said, you guys remember
48:21
that way better than I do, so. No, I haven't.
48:24
I don't even remember the full details of it.
48:26
Well, if I explained it, it would be the most
48:29
explicit thing that was said on this podcast ever.
48:34
I don't even remember. I remember something to do.
48:37
Um, I remember exactly where we were. Something
48:40
to do with a pastor. There it is.
48:43
Yes. I think it was something
48:46
sexual. Uh, and that's about all. Ah,
48:49
my dad, huh? Oh, gosh.
48:52
I honestly don't remember even what it was about. You reference
48:55
it a lot, and so I laugh about it, but I don't even really remember.
48:58
Uh, it's, like, chiseled in my brain.
49:01
It's like a key Austin moment for me.
49:05
That and just the giant
49:07
bowl of stupid noodles that, uh,
49:10
you would just, like. You would eat this giant bowl
49:13
of noodles so fast. What are they called? Like, power bowl? Yeah. They
49:16
had
49:21
vacuum cleaner sucking up a blanket. It'd be like that and, like, a
49:23
side of, like, potato salad and
49:26
all these Arizona teas, and I would just like.
49:29
And never forget about the little
49:32
Caesar's trunk pizza. Oh, the trunk pizza.
49:35
I do remember that. Hot
49:38
and ready, 80 degrees outside,
49:41
practically a microwave. He'd be coming out of class. He'd be like, oh, guys, I
49:44
got to grab some pizza real quick, pop the trunk.
49:47
And I was like, hey, dude, how long has that been back there? He's like, I don't know.
49:50
A day or two. Still good. Cold
49:53
at night.
49:57
Hey, man, that's not how refrigeration works.
50:01
Yeah, I do remember that. You remember running,
50:04
like, 5 miles and then downing, like, one
50:07
or two of these Arizona teas and then laying on a
50:10
classroom floor going,
50:13
I don't remember what I did, but I do remember laying on the classroom
50:16
floor. You were like, oh, yeah,
50:19
100oz of sugar. I remember one time I used
50:22
to work out before. I think it was freshman
50:25
or sophomore year, I used to work out up at the gym, and then I would come down to
50:28
eat dinner afterwards every single time.
50:31
And so one time I
50:34
worked out, and I was really thirsty, and I came down there, and
50:37
I had probably, like, four glasses of chocolate milk.
50:40
Just, like, downed a whole bunch of chocolate milk,
50:43
and I felt, get your mouth.
50:48
Chocolate milk was good, though. It was good, but it was
50:50
crap. Not much of it. That was
50:53
what I learned, that. Yeah, you can't drink that much. Moderation,
50:56
moderation. Moderation is key when you
50:59
go kill that treadmill. I always remember his run. You don't go to the
51:02
gym. And then I remember you go straight to the leg press. You
51:05
feel like a beast on the leg press. You throw on, like, three or four
51:08
plates. I tell you
51:10
about the time I fell off the treadmill?
51:14
Yeah. For whatever reason,
51:17
there was a bunch of girls also running on the treadmill that were all
51:20
right there. And I was running, and my shoe came untied, and I
51:23
literally just tripped on it and fell on the treadmill and
51:26
jumped me off of it. Yeah. And everyone looked at me, and they're like, are you
51:29
okay? I'm just like, oh, my lord. Yeah, that's
51:31
fine. I completely fell off the treadmill one time. Total
51:34
chad fell on
51:37
everything. Tripped over something else, though. And they used to have them, like,
51:40
overlooking the gym so that you look like
51:43
a creep if you're running. When they had the volleyball practice or m
51:46
something. Uh,
51:49
there's nothing to look at. There's no TV, nothing. Just, like,
51:52
half naked girls playing volleyball.
51:55
Uh, welcome to Bible. Just trying to get in
51:57
shape so I could down
52:00
this chocolate milk real quick.
52:04
Austin on the treadmill drinking
52:07
his chocolate milk. Oh, my gosh. Uh, no water.
52:10
Like. No. Are you still against water?
52:13
No, actually, this year, I've been getting a lot better drinking water.
52:16
Good. Yeah. I mean, I still don't like it,
52:18
but you got to do it for the kiddo
52:21
legacy. I still don't drink a lot. I'm still
52:24
pretty bad, but I'm getting better. Yeah. Hey, that's all anybody
52:27
can do is try to do better. Huh? It's easier
52:29
for me to drink it if it's bottled for some reason. I don't know what it is.
52:33
Did you know what bottled me? I can drink it
52:35
through a straw. There's something
52:38
I hate. Oh,
52:41
I'll go to Taco Bell, and I'll just get a glass of ICE
52:44
water. Really? Yeah, just get. Just. Can I get a large ICE
52:47
water? Something about Taco Bell's cup is perfect.
52:50
Uh, yeah, I'm, like, super particular about,
52:52
too. If I'm drinking water
52:55
just to drink water, it has to be at room
52:58
temperature, and it has to be in a bottle. But if I'm drinking it with
53:01
a meal, it has to be on ICE. Okay. It can't have
53:04
a straw, so you got a process that's good. It's really
53:06
weird. Hey, that's fine. Um,
53:10
so something that I didn't ask you guys that has come
53:13
up in a round of questioning. Um, when you guys
53:16
take showers, do you guys ever have a snack in the shower or
53:19
a drink in the shower?
53:23
I've never ate something in the shower.
53:26
Never try that because that seems
53:29
like stuff would get wet. I feel like if I was going to eat something in
53:32
the shower, I could eat, like, fruit or something. Yeah, like an orange. Is
53:35
it an apple? Never done that
53:38
on an animal. Have you done
53:40
that? It's a visceral experience. I think you would love it.
53:43
Eating fruit, like, really bitter. You get an
53:46
orange and you peel it. You pre peel it, and
53:49
then you, like, carry that. Okay. I thought you mean, like, peeling
53:52
off the peel off, but then you just eat it like an
53:54
apple. Oh, you don't try
53:57
that, especially if it's cold. You peel the outside.
54:00
Yeah, I get what you're saying. No, but then, like, the juices just
54:03
go specifically in the shower. Yeah, or on the toilet. I
54:05
mean, that's good too. Never done that. Really?
54:08
No, I don't think I've ever eaten anything in the
54:11
shower. Yeah.
54:13
Drank? No. Dude, you got to get yourself
54:16
cold. Drink. I don't really like bringing things past the
54:19
threshold of the bathroom door. So was this interesting
54:22
for you? Um,
54:26
no. I feel like we're, like, in an office almost
54:29
now. No, I didn't really think about it. I lift
54:32
one lid, and I can take crack. I also didn't come into this room with the intention
54:35
of defecating, so I don't know.
54:39
But you could. I don't know. I don't
54:41
like taking things I eat to where I poop or
54:44
pee. Also, you don't like
54:47
teeth brushing? Uh, yeah. Oh, sure. How's that going?
54:50
Gotten better. I haven't been able to brush my
54:53
daughter's teeth yet. Yeah,
54:57
I haven't been able to be in. I
55:00
haven't been able to be in the room with her brushing. I stopped off at
55:03
the dollar store today. I got
55:06
some fresh toothbrushes.
55:11
It's like ASMR. But you want to brush my teeth before I have
55:14
dinner? No, I don't. If anybody wants to,
55:18
those are for you. Austin, if you want, we can brush our teeth
55:21
together today if you want. Yeah, we
55:24
got a three pack. It's a three way.
55:26
Uh, I wonder where
55:29
that comes from. Yeah, or what comes
55:32
from. Are you cool with Kelly brushing her teeth in
55:35
front of you? Yeah, I've gotten there.
55:38
I'm okay with her being in the room when I'm brushing my teeth, which
55:41
was hard at first, but now I'm okay with that.
55:43
There's sometimes where as long as I'm focused on
55:46
something else, like if I'm in the shower or whatever, I don't mind now
55:49
if she's brushing her teeth in front of me, but I'm not just
55:52
going to stand in there if she's brushing her teeth. I don't know,
55:55
it's just a weird. Yeah,
55:58
it doesn't bug me as much as it used to, but. Do you
56:01
like it when people eat jello
56:04
and then they get the jello in their mouth? They kind of
56:07
swish it around in their mouth where it just kind of becomes
56:09
liquid? Does that bug you? I don't know. I'm
56:12
just trying to figure out, like, oh, no, it's a thing.
56:16
I don't think so. It is a distinct feeling. Yeah, I
56:19
was just, like, trying to figure out. It doesn't really bug me now. I
56:22
don't think so. What about mouthwash? Does that freak you out?
56:25
I love mouthwash. No, but if I mouthwashed
56:28
right now, uh, I don't think it
56:31
would. It's more the gargling. I think it's just the saliva
56:34
aspect. I hate how it gets, like,
56:37
frothy and nasty. Do you have to see the kids that you work
56:40
with brush their teeth? Uh, sometimes, yeah.
56:43
Do you squeal, scream? No
56:46
signs? No way I'm letting anyone there know.
56:51
That's why you mistakenly let
56:54
us know. I have actually had to hold back a gag
56:56
a couple of times. Like, kids who. Because they'll just brush their teeth and
56:59
they just spit in trash cans. Like, they'll just be out in the middle of the
57:02
dayroom just brushing the teeth. We used to do that,
57:06
and I'll literally be sitting there trying not to gag and
57:09
make corbin. That's
57:12
so gross. Spitting in trash cans is so gross. And
57:15
kids do it all the time, but it's fine.
57:18
It's not fine.
57:21
Oh, man. So I meant that you interacted with somebody's,
57:23
uh, chewing tobacco. I bet that would
57:26
probably. I
57:29
mean, I just dude tobacco in general,
57:32
because they always have the spitter can. Yeah. That's
57:35
disgusting. It's always, like, a gatorade
57:37
bottle, too. We have a guy who chews, like, sunflower
57:40
seeds on our unit, like a staff, and
57:43
I've definitely reached for a cup and then found that it was full of
57:46
spit.
57:49
That shouldn't be accessible to other people, though. That's on
57:51
him. Well, it's in the staff office, but still
57:54
just like, no, he'll be, like, on top of the fridge. I'm like, oh, there's a cup. I'll
57:57
use that. That. No, beyond his person.
58:01
Is it like a disposable cup or something? Yeah, it's like a paper one,
58:04
but still, it's disgusting. That's gross.
58:07
Have either of you ever eaten deodorant?
58:10
No.
58:13
Noted. I, uh, mean, I
58:16
never would.
58:19
Some of it's all natural, so it's, like, safe.
58:22
You're going to eat deodorant. Am
58:25
I? You, um, said you can eat it. Yeah, some of
58:28
it.
58:31
What
58:38
did you. My wife just outed me
58:41
from the other side of the door.
58:43
Uh, okay, so
58:46
my thought process was
58:49
actually the sticks right behind you. Poop is all natural.
58:53
Yeah,
58:56
but bear with me. Bear with me. Poop is bad
58:58
smelling, generally. Okay, that's fair. And the
59:01
deodorant, I mean, you can grab. It's right behind you. That's true.
59:04
It's right there. Delicious. It's toasted. You don't smell it.
59:07
You can read it. Uh, toasted marshmallow vanilla.
59:10
That does sound kind of good. Yeah, that sounds like a combo
59:13
that I want to try. No, it
59:16
turns to, like, nothing, and then is like, you
59:18
just ate just a block
59:21
of febreze in your mouth. Whoa. It's so terrible. Like,
59:24
dissolved. Yeah. I guess that makes sense, though, because when you put it on, it kind of
59:27
like, I don't know, absorbs.
59:31
I was expecting it to be almost flavorless.
59:34
Kind of like wax. It was awful. So
59:37
it didn't have any good flavor? No flavor. Like, I don't know
59:40
how it smells so good. Yeah, because weird and tastes
59:43
so bad. That is weird. Right? So
59:46
that was my thought process, was it smells great.
59:49
I love marshmallows. Like, they're great. Yeah.
59:52
Never been more betrayed.
59:54
Um, and then, so
59:57
a question for you, Austin. Um,
1:00:00
have you had any diaper
1:00:02
troubles in the world of diapering?
1:00:05
No, not really. Yeah. No.
1:00:08
Well, just wait. What do you mean by m
1:00:11
diaper? Well, like, leaks. Blowout. Blowout.
1:00:13
Yeah. Perfect. Just change
1:00:16
it. Yeah, but poop doesn't bother me that
1:00:19
much. Uh, good. When I was a
1:00:22
caregiver, for, like, a year, I
1:00:24
had to clean adult diapers. Oh, that's
1:00:27
right. Sometimes on a daily basis, I
1:00:30
got pretty desensitized. Oh, yeah. That's 1000 times worse. I
1:00:33
don't mind it. Vomit is 100 times
1:00:36
worse. Oh, really? I hate vomit. Yeah, me and my wife
1:00:39
both, we'll change poopy diapers all day. But
1:00:42
vomit is disgusting. I don't mind, like,
1:00:45
spit up when they're babies. Yeah, that's different. Milk.
1:00:49
When little kids vomit, it shoots.
1:00:52
Yeah, we had projectile. Ruby, uh, got
1:00:55
sick once with actual. When she
1:00:58
had started eating actual food. Yeah. And it was
1:01:01
pretty bad. It was really sad, though, because I didn't
1:01:04
react the way I thought I would. I think I
1:01:07
was home alone with her. Kelly was gone, and she was really
1:01:09
sick, and she was, like, really sad, and it was really sad. I think
1:01:12
your parenting instinct kind of kicked
1:01:15
in because it was all over me, and I didn't care.
1:01:18
It is definitely a thing. Wow. Uh, yeah.
1:01:21
Well, hey, good for you.
1:01:24
Nothing on you yet, though. No poop on you. I mean, I've
1:01:27
gotten on my. No.
1:01:30
So, my daughter,
1:01:33
when she was in diaper, and I was changing her,
1:01:36
and she just, like, poo farted. Shotgun sprayed
1:01:38
it, and it, like, here we
1:01:41
are. No, I, uh, don't think Ruby has pooped.
1:01:44
Not in a diaper.
1:01:47
No bathtubs. Not. That
1:01:50
one's fun. Yeah. Loaders.
1:01:55
And then. I don't know,
1:01:57
at home. This is something I'm m curious about. Do you
1:02:00
each lock your bathroom door when you're going to the bathroom?
1:02:03
Is it like, hey, babe, you can come in, or is it
1:02:06
like, no, this is my area right now.
1:02:13
I don't lock it. No. I mean, if I'm
1:02:16
somewhere else, I do, but at home, no.
1:02:20
I have been getting better at this because this is actually,
1:02:23
like, a hot button issue. Oh, really?
1:02:26
Not really. But it's like, one of her biggest pet peeves,
1:02:29
because I lock every door behind me all the time. M
1:02:32
I'm just used to it. Um, I think ever since
1:02:35
the secure. The corbin scare.
1:02:38
No.
1:02:43
When grandma walked in on me. No, I think
1:02:46
I've always just locked the door when I poop out of
1:02:48
instinct. And then also, I lock every door behind me at
1:02:51
work all day long, and so when I come in from
1:02:54
outside, I always lock the door. My wife will get mad because I'll
1:02:57
be home, and the front door is locked because I locked it.
1:03:00
But people could just walk into your house.
1:03:03
Uh, and the same thing when I'm pooping, it's like,
1:03:06
I don't know. We don't like being in the
1:03:09
room when we were pooping with each other,
1:03:11
right. Sometimes you have to. Yeah. And so
1:03:14
I try to consciously remember to leave it unlocked, because a lot
1:03:17
of times, too, I'll poop, and I'll get in the shower, and I'll be in the shower in the door.
1:03:20
Wait till Ruby's old enough. And my wife.
1:03:24
Wait till Ruby's old enough to manipulate that handle.
1:03:27
She can almost reach it. The barge in is regular. Yeah,
1:03:30
she can almost reach it. I mean, it's right here, like.
1:03:32
Dad. Dad. Like I said, I'm
1:03:35
surprised. I got to tell you something. Yeah, no, it's
1:03:37
usually YouTube.
1:03:39
Okay, just give me a minute. Um,
1:03:43
yeah. Well, sweet. Guys. Do you guys have any
1:03:45
bathroom wisdom you want to leave people with?
1:03:50
Um. Uh, I don't know if I talked about
1:03:53
this last time. Okay. Um, have I
1:03:56
told you about splash guard?
1:03:59
No. That sounds
1:04:01
funny. Perfect. So, before you
1:04:04
go and do your business. Yeah.
1:04:07
Take off a couple of plies.
1:04:09
Three. Yeah, lay them in
1:04:12
there. Splash no more.
1:04:15
Yeah, on top of the surface of the water. It's
1:04:18
like a little canopy. What? Hey, that's.
1:04:21
Where'd you learn about life changing?
1:04:23
I think just splash guard ingenuity. Yeah.
1:04:26
You developed Gavin adventure. Patent
1:04:29
pending. So what's nice about it, though?
1:04:32
Um, so if you go somewhere that,
1:04:35
like, if you're out in public and you go somewhere that has seat covers. Yeah. Built
1:04:38
in splash guard. So you take out two.
1:04:40
I'm going to throw one in, lie to you. I got to
1:04:43
confess, I don't understand those things. You never get
1:04:46
them on, right? Yeah, I put them on backwards every
1:04:49
time I think. Uh,
1:04:52
so there's the three tabs you got to take off. You got to rip those.
1:04:55
But if you rip it too crazy, the whole thing is done. That's what happens to
1:04:58
me. I haven't wanted to use one of those in years.
1:05:01
My thing is, like, if I'm robberies it raw
1:05:04
dogs, it doesn't feel as good when you use
1:05:07
the paper. Yeah, but, uh, you could just
1:05:10
lay some toilet paper down on it.
1:05:13
He's going to wrap the dog in the paper before he
1:05:16
goes.
1:05:21
That's how the toilet paper got in the honey jar. And we might have talked
1:05:24
about this last time. When you do it, do you open
1:05:27
the open end? You know how there's one end that. It's like a U. Does
1:05:30
that part go in front of you or behind? I always thought it goes in front. I could
1:05:33
not for the life of me m. I couldn't tell you. I don't
1:05:36
know. So there's the three points first connected. So
1:05:39
you disconnect those ones, and then the flap is going to hang
1:05:42
down where the flap is hanging down where it's
1:05:44
attached to it. Uh, that goes towards the back. I put it in the
1:05:47
front. You put the front front. Because you're going to get some
1:05:50
backspray. Yeah. But that's the way it pulls
1:05:53
out. My brain doesn't work that way.
1:05:56
I usually just rip the whole thing off. I don't have a thing
1:05:59
hanging in. Regardless, if you're going to use it for its
1:06:02
intended purpose, next time you're in a public restroom, take one
1:06:05
out. Don't even do anything else. Just throw it in there. That's a good
1:06:07
idea. I've used it as emergency toilet
1:06:10
paper. I've had to do that.
1:06:14
We're going to do this. Uh, man, it's like a cookie
1:06:17
sheet. Yeah. Non efficient. You have to use like 20 and you have to
1:06:20
flush a couple more times too because it's like, yeah, that'll clog a
1:06:22
toilet. Mhm. Piss. I don't think I've ever done that.
1:06:25
Yeah, it works better than your sock.
1:06:29
I've definitely never done that. You've never used your sock? No.
1:06:32
Not even like camping?
1:06:34
What's
1:06:37
the weirdest thing you wiped your butt with? I don't think I've ever wiped my
1:06:40
butt with anything but toilet paper.
1:06:43
Really? Wow. Really? Where's the 21st century? What do
1:06:46
you guys. I've
1:06:49
definitely used the newspaper. Not abnormal. I've
1:06:52
definitely used the newspaper. A newspaper. Okay,
1:06:55
that's true. I've ran out of toilet paper and used, okay, I've
1:06:58
used, uh, tissue paper is usually the first thing,
1:07:00
like if we have face tissue. So we already found a. Have you ever
1:07:03
used a piece of clothing? No, probably the worst
1:07:06
thing I've ever used is just like paper towel. That's like
1:07:09
when you have nothing else. We're talking name Brand,
1:07:12
actually brawny as an alternative to a bidet. Uh,
1:07:15
baby wipes work pretty nicely. Can't flush them though.
1:07:17
Dude, people flush those things. My wife's told
1:07:20
me, she's like, you can't flush that. But I had nothing else. And I
1:07:23
was like, all right. They did work great. It cleans really nicely. I got a buddy
1:07:26
in Salem, he's like, I'm two
1:07:29
dude wipes and I'm done. Every time. He
1:07:32
carries a package of dude wipes with him in his. Everywhere.
1:07:35
Yeah, and you can flush those. They say you can,
1:07:38
but it's kind of like flushing like tampons. It's like,
1:07:41
yeah, maybe, uh, not. What's the difference
1:07:44
between flushing things like that and just toilet paper? Is it toilet
1:07:47
paper? Toilet paper breaks up, it
1:07:49
dissolves and I think it's
1:07:52
worse if you're on it. Depends if you're on a septic.
1:07:55
If you're on a septic, then you're probably totaled.
1:08:00
Yeah, I'm not going to flush anything, but. Yeah. Uh, we
1:08:03
just mostly. Are you on septic out in, uh, Dallas? I don't actually
1:08:06
know. You'd know if you have a sewage pill
1:08:09
then. Did you pay water and sewer? Yeah.
1:08:11
Then you're probably hooked to city. Okay, that's
1:08:14
good. Yeah. Then if it all
1:08:17
explodes, it's on them.
1:08:20
That's so true. Uh, I have some
1:08:23
friends out in Lebanon. Their thing went reverso into their
1:08:25
bedroom and they paid for them to remodel the
1:08:28
floor and they put them up in a hotel for a month while we did it
1:08:31
all because that'd be like homeowners insurance. Yeah, well,
1:08:34
the city had the. They were liable. Oh. It happened to
1:08:37
fault, um, underneath in the city line, and it
1:08:40
backed up into their house. That's disgusting. Yeah,
1:08:43
that is disgusting. Yeah. Well, you
1:08:45
remember connections. Yeah. You remember
1:08:48
that lobby downstairs before you get to
1:08:51
the. Yeah, that was all poop one
1:08:54
day. Have I not shown you this picture inside?
1:08:57
Like, right when you walk in? No, in the
1:08:59
other building where that coffee room was
1:09:02
downstairs. Oh, like when kids would kind of play down there a little bit.
1:09:05
Yeah, that was all poop. The
1:09:08
septic. I've never showed you this. I didn't know. I will show
1:09:11
you this. That's disgusting. In moments. That's crazy.
1:09:14
Yeah. Wow. I stepped today.
1:09:17
I went in to do janitorial and it was dark, and I
1:09:19
stepped and I could smell it. I was
1:09:22
like, oh, there's something. Stepping on slimy things in the dark is
1:09:25
one of the worst. It was like wet carpet twish. And
1:09:28
it smelled so bad, when I opened the door, I was like, oh,
1:09:31
there's something not right. And I turned the light on and I
1:09:34
actually saw it and I just called Christy and I was like, I don't
1:09:37
have the equipment. This is above my pig ring. Yeah.
1:09:40
I was like, this is hazmat.
1:09:44
People from monsters incline.
1:09:47
We got 20 319.
1:09:50
They hired it out. It was so bad. Yeah. And that
1:09:53
place was. Sounds rough. Very cheap. They didn't hire
1:09:55
nothing out. Anyway. Austin, any bathroom
1:09:58
wisdom?
1:10:02
I think of anything outside of.
1:10:05
Yeah, basic stuff.
1:10:07
Yeah. Sounds like you had the baby
1:10:10
wipes idea. Yeah, the baby wipes is
1:10:13
good. Yeah, definitely. If I was pooping
1:10:16
outside, I think that would be my go to. Like, if I was
1:10:19
camping and didn't have an actual toilet. I think baby wipes would
1:10:22
be a great alternative. Toilet paper. Oh, yeah, sure.
1:10:25
Especially because you can't shower.
1:10:27
Yeah, but, man. Yeah.
1:10:30
Camping, not as fun as I remembered it being
1:10:33
as a kid. It's a lot of work, too. It's a lot of work. I
1:10:35
will say we just took the kids
1:10:38
for the first time on the family camp
1:10:41
trip. It's got to be more fun with kids, though,
1:10:44
now that they're old enough to run around and
1:10:46
not die
1:10:50
at everything. It's a
1:10:52
good time. Okay, so I found it. This is that
1:10:55
floor. Oh, my
1:10:58
gosh. That is so gross. Yeah,
1:11:01
and you can see it's out on the carpet.
1:11:04
Dude, that was the
1:11:07
shot. There's a person in the world whose job is to just
1:11:10
fix this stuff. That's
1:11:13
what I walked in on, though, dog. It was a ceiling
1:11:16
because it, like.
1:11:21
And went boom. And I was like,
1:11:23
yeah, it, man. Uh, yeah. Wonder what sound that
1:11:26
made, too. That wet toilet paper just. Could
1:11:29
you imagine sitting on the toilet? And that's when
1:11:33
it's opposite day.
1:11:36
Talk about an enema. Yeah.
1:11:40
Uh, you'd get so sick. Yeah.
1:11:43
You'd have something like Pepsi. You'd have, like,
1:11:45
ptsd every time you go to the bathroom. Or, like, have you seen those?
1:11:48
I did. When snakes come out of the toilet and rats and stuff like
1:11:51
that. That ain't it. No, I can't deal with
1:11:54
that. I'm pooping a bag for the
1:11:57
rest of my life. Uh oh. Also, if you're ever
1:11:59
camping and you're, like, these
1:12:02
little, like, yak sacks, I mean, you just stick it back there
1:12:05
and just twist
1:12:08
it off. Trash can. Those look similar to
1:12:11
the bags. Put, like, the diapers in, like, the
1:12:14
diapers. Yeah. Diaper genie bag. They're similar.
1:12:17
Anyway, well, sweet. I'm going to do the
1:12:19
shameful clothes and then get out of here and find
1:12:22
some food. This has been another episode of Privy. Thank you for
1:12:25
listening. Thank you guys for being here. Um,
1:12:28
you can follow the show. Go do. Do that.
1:12:30
Uh, say hi. Do whatever.
1:12:33
Let's get to it. This has been another episode of
1:12:36
Privy. Don't forget to wash your butthole. Thanks for listening. And now,
1:12:39
as always, don't forget to flush.
1:12:46
You got a really nest lit back there. Yeah.