Latest / So That's Why / Why Do We Cry When We're Sad?
Transcript
- 0:04Jen: Welcome to the So That's Why podcast, where we unpack the
- 0:07science behind everyday questions.
- 0:09I'm Jen.
- 0:09Chris: I'm Chris.
- 0:11Matt: And I'm Matt.
- 0:12Jen: Okay, so today we are answering the question: why do we cry when we're sad?
- 0:17So researchers track real crying episodes.
- 0:21When they track it, they find one emotional thread running
- 0:25through them more than any other.
- 0:26So give me some of the ideas of the most likely guesses.
- 0:30Matt: Sadness.
- 0:31It's in the title, Jen, uh, but it does feel a little bit like a trap
- 0:34that I've just walked straight into.
- 0:37Chris: Yep, similar.
- 0:37It's gotta be sadness, right?
- 0:39Or loss.
- 0:39Something with proper weight behind it, like, um, when Nemo
- 0:43loses his parents in Finding Nemo.
- 0:44Matt: Oh, that is- Oh … proper sad.
- 0:47Jen: Yeah.
- 0:49But they're both wrong.
- 0:51Chris: Surely not, though.
- 0:51I mean, Nemo- Nemo's
- 0:53Jen: not wrong … he can't, no.
- 0:53And this is exactly why we're doing, answering this question.
- 0:56So the most common thread, um, isn't sadness, it's powerlessness.
- 1:03Matt: Which is not what I expected, actually- Mm … as
- 1:06the answer, if I'm honest.
- 1:07Chris: No, and it kind of reframes the question, doesn't it?
- 1:10Um, so today, if you agree, I think we should dive into what sets a cry off-
- 1:16Jen: Mm
- 1:17… Chris: the circuit that produces it, what's in tears, and whether crying
- 1:21actually makes you feel better.
- 1:23Jen: Okay.
- 1:23So an honesty note, emotional crying has only really got, like, serious scientific
- 1:29evidence in the last few decades.
- 1:30So some of this is solid and some genuinely isn't, but we'll say which.
- 1:35And
- 1:36Matt: no doubt you will, Jen.
- 1:39But let's go back to powerlessness.
- 1:41Powerless, that's right, yeah.
- 1:42Uh, is sadness not involved at all?
- 1:45Jen: Almost always, but rarely on its own.
- 1:48So it turns up with, like, blended with anger, fear, frustration,
- 1:54or disappointment, and the common denominator underneath it is not
- 1:58being able to do anything about the situation you're in about it.
- 2:03Chris: Yeah, that's right.
- 2:03And, um, there's one psychologist that puts it as the tipping point being the
- 2:08moment that, um, psychological demands exceed your sensory effective threshold.
- 2:14So meaning that the emotion has outpaced whatever coping mechanism
- 2:19you had available in the first place.
- 2:21Matt: Okay.
- 2:22So it isn't then about how bad the thing is, it's the gap, I guess, between that
- 2:28and what you've got left in the tank.
- 2:29Jen: So it looks that way, yeah, and the triggers people report
- 2:33are smaller than you'd assume.
- 2:35You know, loss and breakups, but also conflict, criticism, rejection,
- 2:41and minor personal failures.
- 2:44Chris: Yeah, which is, the interesting part, isn't it?
- 2:45Because if, um, asked hypothetically, people reach kinda straight for
- 2:50loss and bereavement and tragedy.
- 2:51Jen: Mm.
- 2:52Chris: But if you were to keep crying diaries… That's a great album
- 2:55name, actually, The Crying Diaries.
- 2:56Crying
- 2:56Diaries.
- 3:00It's like a Morris- it's like a Morrissey album-
- 3:01Matt: Yeah, it is … surely on the, the species.
- 3:02It is.
- 3:02Yeah, yeah.
- 3:03Um, yeah.
- 3:03Or The Cure.
- 3:03Yeah.
- 3:04Chris: If you were to keep crying diaries that, and you look back,
- 3:08the- they would say otherwise.
- 3:09Mm. They would say it's not always about the loss and bereavement.
- 3:11It's probably a lower part, and it's often something else.
- 3:13Matt: Minor personal failures, I think, is the standout phrase for me.
- 3:17But I can confirm the last time I cried was actually at my son's wedding.
- 3:21Jen: So yeah, so that's the other half because crying isn't
- 3:24only a negative emotion thing.
- 3:26People, like you Matt, and lots of us cry from joy, gratitude, love, relief,
- 3:32and watching someone do something selfless, and these tears have got a name.
- 3:37Researchers call those sentimental or moral tears.
- 3:41Chris: Yeah, so the wedding effect, it is a recognized scientific category.
- 3:44So I think we should definitely play the wedding video and see you kind
- 3:47of- … slowly sobbing away in the corner.
- 3:49Jen: And keep a crying diary.
- 3:50Chris: Absolutely, yeah.
- 3:51Absolutely.
- 3:51Matt: Writing in my
- 3:52crying diary at the wedding.
- 3:53Well, the good news for everybody, uh, 'cause you, you do not wanna see
- 3:56that, I was behind the video camera, so I was recording the wedding.
- 4:00Jen: I mean, I'm no better.
- 4:01I can well up at a park run watching a stranger finish their first 5K- … when
- 4:05they've graduated from couch to 5K.
- 4:07Chris: Yeah, I, I tend to cry at park runs, but it's normally
- 4:10before I've started doing one.
- 4:11That's a, that's a different story.
- 4:13Yeah.
- 4:14Um, and let's be honest, we've all kind of used the, the something in my
- 4:17eye excuse when, you know, th- things start setting us off, haven't we?
- 4:21Matt: We have, and I, I love the fact that nobody ever challenges
- 4:23it, which I think is possibly the kindest thing we do as a species.
- 4:27Jen: Yeah, definitely.
- 4:28Okay, so let's chat about what ha- actually happens in
- 4:32the body then when we cry.
- 4:33Chris: Okay.
- 4:34So it begins in the brain's limbic system, uh, which is responsible for
- 4:38processing em- emotions, and the amygdala helps determine how intense an emotion
- 4:44feels, uh, while the anterior cingulate cortex helps you recognize, make sense
- 4:49of, and respond to those feelings.
- 4:52Matt: Okay.
- 4:52So for, if I'm understanding this right, one part turns up the emotional
- 4:56intensity, and the other part figures out what you're actually feeling.
- 5:01Jen: Yeah, it's a good way to think about it.
- 5:03Um, and from there, the signal travels to the pons in the brainstem, and
- 5:09the pons activates the tear glands through a facial nerve, which is
- 5:13what causes the tears to flow.
- 5:16Chris: That's right, and at the same time, another region called the periaqueductal
- 5:20gray coordinates the physical expression of crying, so this controls the, um,
- 5:25the facial muscles and the vocalizations that produce the crying face and those
- 5:30characteristic sobbing so- sounds.
- 5:31It's not a, a Snapchat- filter that my kids always
- 5:37put on Make videos look like you're crying.
- 5:39Matt: Fair enough.
- 5:40Uh, I can't- I don't know about Snapchat, Chris, as I've- Well,
- 5:42Chris: me neither.
- 5:43It's probably completely the wrong platform.
- 5:46Jen: You know, I-
- 5:47Chris: I've got no idea.
- 5:47It sounds right.
- 5:47No idea what the youth of today use.
- 5:49Matt: No, no, uh, me either.
- 5:51Um, a long time.
- 5:52Anyway, so the face then, uh, and the noise aren't, uh,
- 5:57a side effect of the tears.
- 5:59They're driven separately, um, off the same event maybe.
- 6:02Jen: Yeah, they are, and the tears, um, come from the lacrimal glands,
- 6:07uh, above each eye, and there's three distinct, like, tear types
- 6:12Chris: Yeah, so basal tears, they keep the eye surface lubricated all
- 6:16day, whereas reflex tears respond to an irritant, which is basically the
- 6:20onion episode in a single sentence.
- 6:22Matt: Yeah, an episode that I'm still recovering from.
- 6:25Uh, the onions still keep winning the battle.
- 6:28Jen: And then you have emotional tears, and they are triggered by feeling, so
- 6:33it's the same glands, but a different trigger, and no rigorous evidence
- 6:38that any other species produces, like, the third kind, the emotional tears.
- 6:44Matt: So we're unique.
- 6:45Jen: We are unique.
- 6:46Matt: Okay, so what's happening then at, uh, in the eye when tears
- 6:50start running down your face?
- 6:51Chris: Yeah, so the glands produce fluid faster than the tear ducts can drain
- 6:55it, so the drainage is working fine, it's just been outpaced, so the surplus
- 7:00goes over the edge and down your face.
- 7:02Jen: So think about it like a sink with the tap on harder than
- 7:06the plug hole can cope with.
- 7:08Chris: Yeah, that's better than the way I put it, to be, to be fair.
- 7:11Um, and so the lacrimal glands are activated by acetylcholine and by
- 7:17vasoactive intestinal peptide, which is a signaling molecule with a very misleading
- 7:22name because it has absolutely nothing to do with the intestines or the stomach.
- 7:27Matt: That's good to know because the names, uh, they're not, all
- 7:31these words, Chris, just don't help in your explanation really.
- 7:34Jen: They're going in, Matt.
- 7:35They might just come out one day in a conversation.
- 7:37You'd be like, "Where did that come from?"
- 7:39Matt: Yeah.
- 7:40Jen: So the other part involves the autonomic nervous system, which has
- 7:44got two branches working together.
- 7:46So when crying begins, the sympathetic activity rises, so your heart
- 7:52rate increases, skin conductance changes, and the body shows that
- 7:57classic fight or flight pattern.
- 8:00Chris: It does, and then at the same time you've got the
- 8:02parasympathetic, um, activity.
- 8:05So this is the system involved in calming and recovery, and that
- 8:08initially decreases, then rises again as the crying episode comes to an end.
- 8:13And it's that rebound that may help explain the sense of relief that,
- 8:17or calmness that some people feel after a kind of crying episode.
- 8:21Jen: Mm.
- 8:22Matt: Okay, so the calm isn't at the start of the cry.
- 8:25Maybe it's, uh, on the way out of one.
- 8:27Jen: Yeah, and that leads us to the next question: what are
- 8:31emotional tears actually made of?
- 8:34Um, and this is where we need to be careful about how
- 8:37confidently we frame the evidence.
- 8:39Chris: Yeah, we do.
- 8:40So some studies have reported higher levels of prolactin and
- 8:45adrenocorticotropic hormone, and these are two stress-related hormones,
- 8:51and alongside compounds like, um- Leucine enkephalin, uh, potassium and
- 8:57manganese in emotional tears compared to fa- uh, basal or reflex tears
- 9:04Matt: I have to say, are all these words you have just said not actually wanting
- 9:08to make you cry when you say them?
- 9:10Chris: I think if, if I've got the pronunciation right, I'll probably
- 9:12cry- … a few tears of joy.
- 9:14You never know.
- 9:15When I wa- when I watch it back, I've probably got none of them right.
- 9:18Yeah, you rehearse- Tend the tears will flow … over and over.
- 9:20Matt: Yeah, yeah.
- 9:21Chris: I need some more cue cards behind you.
- 9:22That, that'd be nice.
- 9:23Matt: Yeah, yeah.
- 9:24Jen: So the important thing you said is some studies.
- 9:27So these findings still need, you know, stronger replication.
- 9:30So they may turn out to be accurate, but we shouldn't treat them as settled fact.
- 9:35Chris: Yeah, and it's really important, isn't it?
- 9:37And it matters because those chemical findings are part of the foundation
- 9:41for one of the most popular ideas about crying, and that is that tears physically
- 9:45flush stress toxins out of the body.
- 9:47Matt: Yeah, and that's something I have definitely heard.
- 9:50Jen: Yeah, most of us have, and it's an appealing idea, isn't it, that
- 9:54a t- you know, tears can flush out stress toxins, but it hasn't stood up
- 9:59well under scientific scrutiny, and one of the influential early studies
- 10:04supporting it wasn't successfully repeated by later researchers.
- 10:10Matt: So if I feel better after a cry, it's not because I've
- 10:12emptied some kind of emotional toxin out of my bloodstream then?
- 10:17Chris: I mean, m- maybe not necessarily definitely that, but you know, you keep
- 10:21telling yourself- … it's all fine.
- 10:22Yeah.
- 10:22Yeah.
- 10:23Um, but there is real biology happening here.
- 10:25It's just not necessarily a detox process.
- 10:28So crying involves, uh, chemical signals linked to stress regulation
- 10:32and social connection, and it's, um, substances including oxytocin,
- 10:38there's vasopressin, and there are endogenous opioids like the enkephalins
- 10:43and prolactin I mentioned earlier.
- 10:45Jen: So the chemistry points at connection and stress, not detox,
- 10:50which turns out to be a bit of a theme.
- 10:52Matt: So the variation between people is enormous, though, isn't it?
- 10:55I mean, I know people who cry weekly, um, and I guess there's people
- 11:01that I've never actually seen cry.
- 11:02Like, my wife would say she's never seen me cry.
- 11:05Jen: No, 'cause you were behind the camera at the wedding.
- 11:07Matt: That's true.
- 11:08Jen: Yeah, the variation is enormous, and it's biological,
- 11:12psychological, and social all at once.
- 11:15So testosterone appears to raise the crying threshold, holding back
- 11:21the tears, while prolactin, which is higher in women, appears to lower it
- 11:26Chris: Yeah, can we just say if anyone else has got any footage
- 11:28from Matt Sutton's wedding?
- 11:31I, I just wanna see if anybody caught you.
- 11:33You know, just one angle of you sobbing- Yeah, yeah … into the camera.
- 11:35Matt: My wife would like to
- 11:36see it too,
- 11:36I'm sure.
- 11:38Chris: Um, so another thing is personality, and it, it
- 11:41comes into this a lot too.
- 11:43So, uh, people who are high in, uh, neuroticism or empathy, they cry more.
- 11:50Um, dismissively attached people cry less and suppress more, and securely attached
- 11:54people cry in a more regulated way.
- 11:56I guess none of this is particularly surprising, right?
- 11:58Matt: No.
- 11:59No.
- 11:59No.
- 11:59And I guess the same event doesn't mean the same thing or happen in
- 12:04the same way in two people, right?
- 12:06It's not necessarily that one's trying harder than the other.
- 12:08Jen: Yeah, not at all.
- 12:10Um, and the difference between genders is one of the most
- 12:14consistent worldwide as well.
- 12:15So women crying, um, they cry roughly two to four times more often than men.
- 12:22So there's one classic estimate puts it at, which I love this, 5.3 times a month
- 12:29for women against 1.3 times for men.
- 12:32Matt: I love that, the 5.3 and the 1.3.
- 12:35So there's people out there who sort of get .3 of the way through a cry, 30%,
- 12:40and they stop because the quota's filled.
- 12:42Jen: Yeah, that's enough.
- 12:43Stop now.
- 12:43Not a full cry today.
- 12:45Chris: Yeah, I'm fine.
- 12:46I'm still cry- I've got it under control.
- 12:47Don't worry.
- 12:48I'm just 30% of the way through.
- 12:49I'm fine.
- 12:50Matt: No, it doesn't, Chris.
- 12:51It doesn't.
- 12:52You can't, especially if you're watching Finding Nemo or E-
- 12:55or ET.
- 12:55Chris: If I'm watching Finding Nemo, that quota's going up- Yeah.
- 12:58you know, significantly.
- 13:00Okay.
- 13:00It's very, it's very distressing, you know?
- 13:02It is.
- 13:02It is.
- 13:02I mean, I know he, he finds him in the end.
- 13:03No, l- let's not talk about it.
- 13:06Pixar have got a lot to answer for.
- 13:07Matt: They have.
- 13:08He, he still doesn't get his mum back though, does he?
- 13:09That's outrageous.
- 13:10No.
- 13:11Jen: No.
- 13:11Stop it.
- 13:12You'll set him off.
- 13:12I
- 13:14Chris: f- I'd forgotten that bit.
- 13:16Jen: Okay, moving on.
- 13:18Right.
- 13:18So the gap isn't uniform either.
- 13:20Women cry more in conflict, men re- relatively more at positive events
- 13:26and for loss, Nemo, and rejection.
- 13:30There's, there's a very little gap though at all.
- 13:33Chris: It's good you said Nemo though, 'cause you said
- 13:35loss, then started laughing.
- 13:36I
- 13:38thought that's- … it's a, it's a bit harsh.
- 13:39Yes, it's a bit harsh.
- 13:39Matt: Yeah.
- 13:39It's like, what's going on here?
- 13:42Jen: I meant the loss of his dad.
- 13:43Poor Nemo.
- 13:46Chris: It isn't purely about biology.
- 13:48Wealthier countries with greater freedom of expression, they show
- 13:52larger gender gaps when it comes to crying, while in some lower income
- 13:56countries where the gap is much smaller, and this is because the norms can
- 14:00discourage emotional display generally.
- 14:02Matt: Which feels sort of slightly counterintuitive, doesn't it really?
- 14:05'Cause you'd assume more freedom would actually close the gap and not widen it.
- 14:09Jen: You would, but your own threshold moves day to day as well, so you've
- 14:15got, like, which, which adds to it.
- 14:17You've got sleep deprivation, alcohol, stress, and your
- 14:21mental health all lower it.
- 14:23Matt: Which explains why Finding Nemo might do nothing on a Tuesday
- 14:28and completely finishes you, especially you Chris, on a Friday.
- 14:31Jen: Or a Monday for Chris maybe.
- 14:34Chris: I know.
- 14:34Same clownfish, different effect.
- 14:36What can I say?
- 14:38Um, and things change across our life sto- stages too.
- 14:41I don't mean in terms of movies, but if you think of infants, I mean, they
- 14:46cry from birth, but that's acoustic.
- 14:49They don't actually produce visible tears until roughly four to eight weeks old.
- 14:53Jen: Yeah, and the, the frequency of, like, crying episodes, that,
- 14:57that, like, gets less from infancy through to, you know, adolescence.
- 15:01Um, physical pain dominates in childhood, but that becomes a
- 15:06more minor trigger in adults.
- 15:08Um-
- 15:09Matt: Yeah, so the reasons change completely, I guess, as we grow
- 15:12older, but not just the amount.
- 15:15Jen: Mm.
- 15:15Chris: Yeah, that's right.
- 15:16I'd say they broaden.
- 15:17So adults move, um, lar- from largely egocentric triggers towards empathetic
- 15:22kind of pain for others and feelings about fairness and injustice,
- 15:26which is not a bad thing, right?
- 15:27Jen: No, not at all.
- 15:29Um, but older adults, they cry at more positive, meaningful
- 15:32things as well, like weddings- Mm
- 15:34like we've chatted about, reunions, milestones, possibly reflecting
- 15:40a stronger sense of connection to their family and their community.
- 15:44Matt: Yeah, which is the classic dad, isn't it?
- 15:46He's gone sort of from stone face to welling up at Nemo or ET or something.
- 15:51Jen: Mm.
- 15:52Chris: Yeah, so when it comes back to the kind of question we're looking at
- 15:55today, the honest answer is it depends, which I know is a bit annoying and
- 15:59hardly a great conclusion, but there, there are so many parts to this- Yeah
- 16:02aren't there?
- 16:04Jen: No, but we can start with what people believe, because it's overwhelming.
- 16:08So over 70% say crying makes them feel better, and mental health
- 16:13professionals broadly agree with that.
- 16:16Matt: Yeah, and that's about as close to a consensus as you're gonna get on anything.
- 16:20Jen: Mm-hmm.
- 16:21Chris: You'd think so, wouldn't you?
- 16:22But then the controlled lab studies say the absolute opposite.
- 16:25So people who cry watching sad movies, um, report feeling
- 16:29worse immediately afterwards.
- 16:30Jen: Think I'd cry watching a sad movie in a lab
- 16:35. Chris: That's a good point, yeah.
- 16:36Matt: It's not a great place to watch a sad movie, is it?
- 16:38Jen: Yep.
- 16:38Matt: So it can't be then that the research tells us that we're all wrong.
- 16:42That can't be where this all ends, surely.
- 16:44Jen: Yeah.
- 16:44No, it isn't.
- 16:45And the resolu- resolution seems to be timing.
- 16:49So one study tracked mood at several points after a sad film.
- 16:53So the criers felt worse right after, um, recovered within 20
- 16:58minutes, and by 90 minutes they were better than before the film began.
- 17:03Chris: Yeah.
- 17:03And that pattern wasn't seen in people who didn't cry.
- 17:07So
- 17:08Matt: the lab studies then weren't wrong, they were measuring, I guess, at the worst
- 17:13possible moment, directly after the film.
- 17:15Jen: Yeah, that's it.
- 17:16Though a daily diary study of women found about only 30% felt
- 17:22better after crying, 60% had no change, and roughly 9% felt worse.
- 17:28Matt: So even at its best, it's not reliable, is it?
- 17:31So what describes then which group we're in?
- 17:34Chris: Yeah, so it almost entirely comes down to context.
- 17:37So, um, social support is the biggest factor.
- 17:40Crying while being comforted by a close friend or a partner predicts a mood
- 17:44improvement, whereas crying alone in an, like, an unsupportive environment doesn't.
- 17:51Jen: And whether the cry led anywhere matters too.
- 17:54So if it produced new understanding or resolved the
- 17:57problem, it feels more relieving.
- 18:00Um, and crying about a positive event beats crying about
- 18:05someone else's suffering.
- 18:07Chris: Yeah, and people who are depressed rarely report any improvement at all,
- 18:12which is worth knowing if you've been told that a good cry will improve things,
- 18:16and for you it just consistently doesn't.
- 18:18Jen: Mm.
- 18:19Matt: Yeah, there's a real permission in that, isn't there?
- 18:21You're not actually then doing crying the wrong way.
- 18:25Jen: No.
- 18:26You don't need to try harder.
- 18:27Um, but there's another variable, and this one's my favorite.
- 18:32People tend to feel better crying alone or with one other person, but with
- 18:37two or more it makes them feel worse.
- 18:40Matt: Oh, yeah.
- 18:40Think about crying in the office, 'cause, you know, you cry, one
- 18:44colleague, that's a human connection.
- 18:46The second person comes along, turns it into a bit of an incident.
- 18:50Someone third comes- a third person comes along, you've got someone
- 18:53fetching a chair, like, I don't know, maybe you've fainted or something.
- 18:55Jen: Yeah.
- 18:56Chris: Yeah, and on top of all of that, you end up managing everyone else's
- 18:59concern they've got for you instead of thinking about the thing you were
- 19:02actually upset about in the first place.
- 19:04Jen: But one thing, um, just worth noting is crying isn't
- 19:09universally good for you physically.
- 19:11So there was two studies in 2022 that found it doesn't relieve physical pain and
- 19:17may actually lower your pain threshold.
- 19:19Matt: So crying because someone or because something maybe hurts
- 19:24doesn't help with the hurting?
- 19:25Jen: Not according to that work, no.
- 19:28Um, and excessive crying unrelated to an emotion, that has an actual proper
- 19:34name, epiphora, and it's treated as a medical issue rather than a benefit
- 19:39Chris: It is, and as is persistent crying linked to migraines,
- 19:43linked to, uh, multiple sclerosis, to brain injury or stroke.
- 19:48So just to do my Captain Sensible bit for a moment, if I may.
- 19:51Matt: Dun,
- 19:51dun, dun,
- 19:52dun.
- 19:52Chris: If- … crying has changed for you and it just isn't tracking at all
- 19:57with how you feel, it is something worth keeping in mind, and may- might
- 20:00be something worth getting looked at.
- 20:01Jen: Which people probably never think about.
- 20:03Matt: No.
- 20:04No, it's, uh, it's not something, is it, you would
- 20:07Jen: track?
- 20:07Go to your doctor and say, "I'm crying too much."
- 20:09It, like- Or I'm crying
- 20:10Matt: differently.
- 20:10Jen: Yeah.
- 20:11Matt: Yeah.
- 20:12Jen: Mad.
- 20:12Matt: It is.
- 20:13And I guess never apologize for this useful bit, right?
- 20:17So, um, don't apologize for the, the crying and the good
- 20:20bits, but what are tears for?
- 20:24Jen: Okay.
- 20:24So the lead in account is that they work as a signal to other people, and
- 20:29there's a clever experiment behind it.
- 20:31So researchers took photographs of faces and digitally removed the tears.
- 20:37Chris: They did.
- 20:37So it was the same faces with tears visible, and what happened is they
- 20:41were judged as sadder and more in need of help, and people reported
- 20:45greater willingness to comfort them purely because of that appearance.
- 20:48Matt: Mm-hmm.
- 20:48Yeah.
- 20:49It's interesting, isn't it?
- 20:49So same face, same expression.
- 20:51The only difference then is the water on the face, and that changes
- 20:55how much help you were offered.
- 20:57Jen: So the thinking is that tears actually strengthen, like, social bonds.
- 21:02They prompt that caregiving and reduce aggression in whoever's watching.
- 21:07So an extension of what a baby's crying does.
- 21:11Chris: So the tears aren't really for me then, uh, even at my son's wedding.
- 21:15They're for whoever's in the room and not videoing it.
- 21:18Jen: Which is why context decides how you feel afterwards.
- 21:21So a signal only works if there's somebody there to receive it.
- 21:25Okay, so why do we cry when we're sad?
- 21:29Chris: So it's because sadness we can't do anything about pushes the emotional
- 21:33load beyond what we can handle in that moment, and the, um, the limbic system
- 21:39passes that to the brainstem, which tells the lacrimal glands to produce more
- 21:43fluid than the tear ducts can handle.
- 21:46Matt: And the guess we both got wrong at the start, in fact, was the whole answer.
- 21:51It was never really the sadness, it was the powerlessness, uh, underneath it all.
- 21:57Jen: And the tears are a signal read, um, by other people as a request for help.
- 22:03So a good cry isn't a system failing, it's a message going out, and
- 22:08whether you feel better depends far more on who's around to answer it.
- 22:14So that's why.
- 22:16That is it for this week.
- 22:17Make sure you hit that subscribe button.
- 22:19We're unpacking the science behind everyday questions.
- 22:23Tell us in the comments what you'd like us to explore next.
- 22:28Thanks for geeking out with us.
- 22:30But for now, that's it from me.
- 22:32Chris: That's it from me.
- 22:33Matt: And that's it from me.
- 22:34Jen: Bye for now.