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Aldo Risso, Jr - Father's Day Special and Season Finale · She’s Smart

0:02
Hey, everybody. Welcome to She's Smart. I'm your host, Maria Robotham.
0:07
Not only is today a very special episode because it is our season one finale,
0:12
but also because today I'm breaking our own rules and letting a man onto the podcast.
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And not just any man, my dad, Aldo.
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At 85, he's hilarious, a little irreverent, incredibly wise,
0:25
and undeniably full of heart.
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He's a father, a husband, a veteran, and a lifelong worker who ran a family
0:32
business and raised two strong-willed daughters.
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In this special Father's Day episode, we laugh, reminisce, and talk about everything
0:41
from pinching misbehaving kids under the table and to what he hopes his grandchildren
0:47
remember most about him.
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A heartfelt thank you to all the amazing dads and father figures,
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and especially to my husband Benjamin. Thank you for showing up,
0:57
for loving big, and for always being there.
1:00
Get ready for some stories, lots of laughs, a whole bunch of heart.
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Featuring the smartest man I know, my dad.
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So get cozy as we connect, learn, and laugh together on She's Smart.
1:14
Music.
1:33
I can hear him, just turn it back to Daddy. Okay.
1:36
Okay elo here's the microphone can you hear him in the microphone oh yeah he's
1:41
clear there's a light coming down from me that my halo this is you know in him
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he's saying behind him oh,
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I have a light, too.
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We're just going to call this the spirit of the Lord coming down on me right
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now. Keep your head there, Aldo. That's me. I can see it. Cheers, Daddy.
2:01
Salute. Five o'clock somewhere.
2:05
Welcome to She's Smart.
2:08
I've been called a lot of things, but I've never been called that. Thank you very much.
2:13
Daddy, how does it feel to be the only man to ever appear or be heard on the She's Smart podcast?
2:22
Feel honored. Yes. Either that or you're hard up for guests.
2:27
I mean, that's the only thing I can figure out. It's got to be one or the other.
2:31
Are you scraping the battle and you bring me up? You were requested by so many people, Daddy.
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They all wanted to hear from you. Hello, everybody. You are going to be turning 85 this year.
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Don't make me older than I am. Hard enough getting there. You're turning 85.
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And to this day, everyone sees you, who I grew up with.
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And they always say that Aldo doesn't age. He looks the same today that he did 20 years ago.
3:00
What is your secret? They didn't know me 30 years ago.
3:06
They have no idea what the hell i look like i tell you right now i didn't look like this,
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i used to have a crew cut and then i also at one time had a perm it was a thing
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i have the pictures it was terrible to maintain and then i went into a series of gel,
3:25
and i had a little pompadour but those days are over now it's just strictly,
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straight back with a little bit of moose.
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Yeah, but you've had it cut. It's shorter than it was the other day.
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Yes, I decided I don't want to look like somebody who should be on the street.
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So wait, Daddy, I've been telling Easton that he looks homeless when he leaves
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the house in the morning.
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He is disheveled and doesn't put his shoes on entirely. He just slips them on
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with the flap down in the back.
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And he goes to leave the house. And I looked at him and I said,
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why do you look homeless?
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I'm like, no, Easton, you look like I had to pick you up off the street and
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save you from a life of homelessness.
4:09
Yes, that's true. Either that or barefoot. The guy has trouble.
4:13
That's right. Either that or he's too damn lazy to bring the flap up in the back.
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That is more of what the problem is, Daddy, is that... You ought to have the
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shoes that you just slip in, that everybody advertises.
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Can't go wrong. That would give him even... He would never look homeless.
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He would also give him more reason to not do anything in work,
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putting himself together. It's dangerous having your feet like that.
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It is dangerous. Especially if you have to run from somebody who's trying to
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kick your butt. That's true.
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You know, heard about leaving your shoes in the dust? That's exactly what would
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happen. That's what would happen.
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Have you gotten in trouble when you were a kid? Were there moments where you
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felt like you needed to run faster than you could?
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When my father was after me, it was a strap for sharpening blades.
5:01
It was about two and a half feet long and all leather.
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My father had a very simple philosophy. If I catch your ass, you're going to get it.
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I have many welts to remember for doing the wrong thing. But I used to run.
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My biggest run was around the dining room table.
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Oh, isn't that funny? I found out my father was faster than I thought he was.
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Didn't look like he was an athlete. But believe me, he was very athletic.
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Oh, and he was such a gentle man. Except when I made a mistake.
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Except when you were saying, Tiger in the cage. I will never forget one night at dinner.
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I must have said something I wasn't supposed to. You got up from the table and
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I started running and you grabbed the broom and you chased me with the broom,
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but you couldn't catch me.
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No, and I was very upset about that.
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That you couldn't catch me. I don't dream about that. You see,
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you were faster than I was, but if I had caught you, I would have swept you
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up with that broom, believe me.
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I'm not sure what end I would have used, but I would have got you.
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So I tell. I would have got you. I tell the kids, I taught the kids when we
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were little, we would misbehave.
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I was a troublemaker of sorts, mostly in the fact that I wanted to make my friends laugh at dinner.
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And we would go to these families' dinners with the Armaninis,
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who were our best friends growing up, my parents' best friends,
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Sandy and Steve. They had two boys, David and Matt.
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And David. Hi, David. is Grayson's godfather.
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When we were little, all I wanted to do was make David laugh.
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So I would go under the table and I stabbed David with forks underneath the
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table at dinner. Totally normal.
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And then daddy would pinch me,
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to get me to stop. But the pinching wasn't just like a little pinch.
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It was a froggy pinch where you stick your thumb in between your two fingers
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and then you catch the skin. Yes, one of these. Yeah, a little froggy pinch.
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You want to be effective.
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You don't want to mess around with one of these. It's one of these that counts.
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And I didn't have to do it that often, but I think enough that you remember it.
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Oh, yeah. I told the children. That's a very good sign.
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I achieved my goal. That's right. I told the boys, I was like,
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look, when I messed around, no one who used to get out the little pincher,
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the froggy pinch, and I wouldn't do anything after that.
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So I showed them how to do it. I was like, this is what you're going to get
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if you do something that you're not supposed to.
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Give them a sample of it? Yeah, I pinched. That's good. That's good.
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Do you remember when you first met Mommy?
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You've been married for 50 years now. Yes.
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50 beautiful years. Just beautiful. Couldn't be any better. Well done, Daddy. Well done.
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Besides, she's listening right over here on the corner. You think I'm going
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to mess around with that one?
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You've got to be crazy. What did you think when you first met Mommy?
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I met her because I knew the family a little bit.
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And I met her at a couple of the functions when she was younger,
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but that was all there was to it.
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Hello, how are you? But then the next time I met her, she had,
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I'm trying to think, she was in college or just finishing high school.
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She had a car. And I told her, well, I tell you, if your car needs tire rotations
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or anything, come on by and I'll take you to lunch.
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So she took me up on it. And I took her to lunch. And I sort of felt mice about it.
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I don't know how she felt about it. But the next thing I knew,
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I was invited to her birthday party.
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Okay. And remember, during this time, other things were going on in my life.
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I did have a couple of dates, but nothing of any consequence.
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And I still remembered her. And when I was invited to her birthday,
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it was a birthday with a bunch of her fellow actors.
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She was taking acting classes and a bunch of her
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fellow actors were at her house
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and Mary was
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sponsoring a party for all of them her mother asked
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me if i'd be so kind as a chaperone everything and i
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did wait a minute i'm getting stories mixed up
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here that was first and then
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i was invited to her birthday party okay and
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by then i had seen her enough and she
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had seen me enough but we hadn't dated at
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her birthday party I gave her or she gave me our first kiss oh yes I've never
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heard this story before I said to myself this is the young lady that I want
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to spend the rest of my life with.
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And we're involved with each other don't hold me on this because my memory is
10:00
not as good as it should be,
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for about a year, off and on, because your mother had other interests,
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which was understandable.
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In fact, I gave her my college ring.
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She said, thank you, but no thank you. And she gave it back to me.
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And I said, whoa, we got a problem here. But I said, all right,
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I'll work it out. Let's see what happens.
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As it worked out later on, we got a little more serious.
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Probably a year later, after going out and enjoying each other's company,
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going to different restaurants and going to the city, we had a favorite spot
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that we went to. I was over in San Francisco.
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We had great times over there.
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They had a party at her house. and her mom and dad were celebrating something.
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All the family was there. I made up my mind that I was going to ask her to marry me at that time.
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I told my mom and dad that I was thinking about it.
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In the meantime, I had asked her what kind of engagement ring she would like, and she told me.
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So I went to a jeweler that I had dealt with, Granite Brothers,
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great reputation, and had her engagement being made the way that she wanted it.
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And I was very, very happy with it.
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So that party that they had, before we had dessert, I asked her,
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would you like to go for a little walk and get a little bit of air? Okay.
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Whatever the case was, we wound up on the upstairs patio of their house.
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And it was there that I asked her to marry me.
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I gave her the ring. And she said yes after she looked at the ring So I figured,
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well, she wanted to make sure I didn't get the wrong thing,
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We walked back in And there's a big fight going on between this guy and that
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guy in the house We said, oh, excuse us But we just got engaged.
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Oh, man, did things change quickly. They were saying, congratulations.
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You see, we had a beautiful time getting engaged, and we stopped the family argument.
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So it was a twofer. That's a win-win. It was a twofer. And that's a very spicy family.
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The Irish and the Spanish get together, and it's a lot. Yes, vocally very volatile.
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You're entitled to your opinion, but not necessarily all the time.
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That's right. That's very right.
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So you worked for 50 years with Nonu.
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Almost 50 years, right? No, no.
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The recent machine shop was 50 years old, right, before you closed it.
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No, when I had worked with Nona as a kid, when I was 8, 9, 10 years old,
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I'd work in the shop downstairs.
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During the summer, as I was expected, be in the machine shop.
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And I would piss and moan like heck because I wanted to go and play basketball or baseball.
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But I agreed. So after that, when I got out of high school, grammar school,
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I'd help them a little bit, but I wasn't really thrilled about it.
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It's just something I did not really like.
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And then during the weekends, I finally got another job with Paramount Electric that I did like.
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And it was a paying job, which was even better. So I did that.
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And when I went to college, I worked for an electrical company.
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For two years, learned a heck of a lot. And then I worked for a tire company
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after that during college. I got drafted, came back, worked for them a little bit more.
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And then in 75, four or five months after your mother and I got married,
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I became a partner with Nonu.
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And I worked with him all the way up until his passing.
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And then I continued on part of the time with Lala until she passed away.
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And then till finally I shut everything down until 2018, I believe, or 2019.
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So it was about 35, 36 years.
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I've been working since I was a kid off and on. I used to cut grass. Yeah.
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I never smoked it, but I cut it.
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You could have had some gummies at the party the other night.
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I heard about the gummies at the party the other night.
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You wanted some of the gummies, but they were not the gummies that you wanted.
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No, no, that was not my thing. No, no. They also should have seen me trim hedges.
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That was unbelievable. I had to stand on a ladder.
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So you and Nonu, Nonu created, explain this to all of us.
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Reso Machine Shop created tile saws. and the saws were water-based and they
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used water to cut the tiles in a smooth, right, with a smooth cut.
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Explain how that worked. Tile used to be cut years ago with many different ways,
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sometime with the nail and then sometime with a tool that had a diamond,
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a commercial diamond impregnated at the end.
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Then there was a company that made a hand
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cutter that had a little blade roller that
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had little little tiny diamond wheel and
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all of that my father who set tile for a while among the things that he did
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but when he was setting tile he said there had to be an easier way and a better
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way to cut the tile so at that time back in the 40s tiles were soft but still glazed.
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You wanted something that would cut it.
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So in his mind, if I had a blade that was impregnated with diamonds and I softened
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the tile with water as I needed, it would cut easier.
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The idea of having the blade and water come down on the blade was to keep the
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blade cool while it cut the tile,
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P made a table and a box and tracks and pushed the tile through.
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And the blade was on an arbor, and it was attached to a pulley.
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The pulley was attached to a motor with a pulley. That's how it all started.
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He made his first one literally from scratch.
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Just his own idea of how it should look and how we should be doing it.
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And while we did that, he's the first one. The first one he made was for himself.
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And that was probably somewhere in the 30s, right after depression.
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And then commercially where
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he was making them to sell that was in
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45 right after the war he found
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a tile distributor interested in promoting
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his saws one thing led to another i didn't join him until 45 we had a great
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run he one day then it must have been late 80s okay i really don't remember
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when he said he says al i'm all finished yeah and he walked out of the shop and that was it,
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that was it and he finished up what he was doing and then i would send stuff
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home to him because he had a little shop at the house downstairs busy yeah because
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he wanted to be kept busy yeah that was it he would also eat pats of butter
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he what he would eat pats of butter,
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Noni would give him pieces of butter and he would eat pieces of butter.
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Yes. I always found that to be fascinating. He enjoyed it. He did.
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Nothing wrong with that. He would also. Salted, salted. I have such fond memories
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of working in the shop with you and Christina and sister.
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And we would stop at Safeway and get donuts and orange juice.
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And then we would go to the shop to quote unquote work. But the first few hours
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was just Christina and I eating our donuts and reading the funnies, the funny pages.
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And then we'd have one task. I'll never forget.
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One of the tasks was to bend the metal for the pans. Yes. The saws fit.
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And water pans at the saws, one of the saws fitted.
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Yes. And the machines, just so everyone knows, are massive machines.
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These are not like little tiny machines. These are massive machines.
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And the one we were working on was like middle size.
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And you'd run a sheet of, what was the metal we were doing? Aluminum sheeting.
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We'd run the aluminum through the sheet to a certain point. And then you would bend it up.
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That is correct. And that was it. And then you'd go to the next one.
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You'd take the sheet out. Then we were taught how to do it safely.
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One of our mass production process.
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That's right. So Christina and I were helping with this one day.
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At the very end, we went through all the sheets. God knows how many we bent.
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And we had bent them all the wrong way.
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Well, we had to live with that. You have no idea how long it took to bend them
19:05
back the other way and pound them back.
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Poor Lala. Lala was daddy's sister. We called her Lala. Lala had to go into
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the shop and fix all of them.
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Yes, it was quite a feat. But you never let on how bad that was for you.
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You never let on. You just joked, oh, y'all bent them all backwards.
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But you never let on what a pain in the ass it was.
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We also weren't invited to do any of the bending of the metal again.
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Once was enough. Once was enough, we should have learned. But I loved going
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into this shop and working. You would come home from work at five.
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You were always home for dinner.
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But you would also go into the shop in the garage and you would be working because
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all of your machines are in there.
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And you'd be finishing up whatever you were doing.
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I remember watching you work throughout my whole life.
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And Christina, too, we saw that and said, all right, well, I want to work.
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I want to do this. So we, in turn, found our own things that we worked at.
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Christina was coaching.
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I worked at the little boutique when I was like 12, and they paid me under the table.
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That really came from you and how much you worked. I'm happy to hear that.
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You both have been successful, not because of me, but because of your efforts
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and intelligence and your refusal to say no.
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But your mother also worked. Yes, mommy worked very hard. So you have it in your blood. Mm-hmm.
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That's why for me now, to be quite frank, it's very hard to be retired. I bet.
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Because I never thought that I would love what I was doing as much as I did,
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knowing how much I hated it when I was younger.
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But I looked forward to going to work, and I miss it.
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To be quite frank, I can't remember now how in the hell I even did half of the things I did.
21:01
Because we were dealing with literally a thousand parts.
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I'm trying to think of all of it, how we put it together and how I put it together.
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I don't even think I could do it anymore.
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But I did it then, and I'm glad I did it then.
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There are a lot of machines out there which have the family name on them.
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And hopefully, if they're taken care of, they will go on forever.
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I'll never forget, we went up to, our friends were remodeling their house up the street.
21:30
When we were kids, every time a friend's house was being remodeled and the workers
21:35
were there, I would always ask them if they used Reso Machine Shop tile saws. Everyone.
21:41
I was like, so what tile saw are you using? And they're like, are you 10? Who are you?
21:47
Well, I'm just wondering because my dad makes those. I'll never forget when
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the lanes, Chris Lane, when Isabel and Joe were redoing their house up the street,
21:55
I asked, I was like, so what tile saw do you use? He goes, I use a resale.
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I'm like, that's my dad. He goes, what?
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I'm like, yeah. He goes, they're the best tile styles in the business.
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I was lucky to learn from a real pro and we maintained a certain standard.
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And our motto was, we are known for and by the quality we do.
22:21
Makes sense. I thought that was a pretty clever motto. It was a very clever
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motto. Sister and I would work at the shop.
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Nonu would always give us $20.
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Oh, a few bucks to you. He'd always slip us $20. And he would always say,
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spend your money wisely.
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Yes. We never listened. Don't do all. We never listened to him.
22:42
No, that is very true. You weren't even out the shop's door and it was already spent.
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What did you say would burn a hole in our pocket? Yes, it really burned a hole in your pocket.
22:56
What was something that surprised you about raising daughters?
23:00
It wasn't so much a prize, but
23:02
a blessing. My wife was better at it than I would have ever been. Yeah.
23:10
Well played. You have to, in my opinion, as a father, treat girls a little more
23:18
gently than you would your son or sons.
23:23
Consequently, I had to hold back on certain things because it would have been too harsh.
23:30
A guy, I could have gotten away with it. Mm-hmm. So I would say,
23:35
instead of using the rod with you guys, I used the verbal.
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And I think I was quite loud at getting my point across.
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Oh, yeah. I think you knew when I was ticked off, I was ticked off.
23:51
Of course, the best moment was, I forgot what you did.
23:56
You were in grammar school, I think it was seventh or eighth grade.
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And I came down on you like a ton of bricks and you turned to me and you said,
24:05
this is child abuse and I'm going to turn you in.
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You had no idea how lucky you were.
24:13
You didn't lose your front teeth because, oh, did it tick me off.
24:17
Daddy, I don't remember that.
24:19
I had to turn away and walk away and cool down. I said, what the heck are they
24:23
teaching these kids in this school?
24:26
But yeah, that was a ball buster. Do you know that the boys said that to me one day?
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I told them I was going to take things away from them. I was so mad at them one day.
24:37
I removed every single TV and device in the house.
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One of them looked at me and said, this is child abuse. And I looked at both of them and I was so mad.
24:48
And I was like, you don't know what child abuse is.
24:51
There are children who are being abused. Oh, daddy, I could only imagine.
24:56
I could only imagine. The skin starts lifting up right off the bones.
25:01
So when they mess around in the house, I love to tell them that when we were
25:05
kids, sister and I used to draw on the walls. Yeah.
25:11
Not very well, to be quite frank. You're terrible to this day.
25:15
Don't know how I pass drawing.
25:17
Yes, unlike your cousin Carrie, Carrie J. He could draw on the walls,
25:21
and it was beautiful work. Yeah.
25:24
For you guys, it was like tic-tac-toe with not knowing where to put the O's and X's.
25:28
We drew all over the walls. We were maniacs, Daddy. We were maniacs.
25:32
We drew on the walls, and you told us, when you get your own house,
25:38
I'm going to come to your house, and I'm going to draw all over your walls.
25:42
Yes. I remember doing that.
25:45
I haven't done it yet, though. I haven't. But I tell the boys that all the time.
25:49
I'm like, you know, you mess up these walls.
25:52
Nonu told me when I did it, he was going to come to my house.
25:55
I'm coming to your house. And I'm going to mark up all your walls.
25:58
I'm going to run my chairs into your walls.
26:02
Yes. Those are my gentle threats. Yeah. They worked, though.
26:08
Hey. Wait, so you grew up Noni and Nonu.
26:12
Noni was from La Spezia and Nonu was from Genoa.
26:16
Off the boat, they both signed into Ellis Island. They moved to California and
26:21
you grew up in Oakland your whole life. You grew up in Oakland. Yes.
26:26
When you were growing up, were there traditions that you remember that you brought
26:34
into our family? Well, the one tradition I remember I tried to bring into our
26:38
family, I was not as successful as I wanted to be.
26:41
You were home at six o'clock for dinner.
26:44
Yes. Period. Six o'clock for dinner, you were home.
26:50
And I think I was successful up until the age that you were three.
26:58
From that point on, I lost both you and your sister. You were involved in so
27:03
many things all the time.
27:05
And see you did things like I never did you
27:09
used to go to sleepovers we used to eat at other people's house I did not do
27:15
that you did not have sleepovers and I did not eat at anybody's house but our
27:21
house and that's just the way it was times changed but the loss of the traditional Sunday meal.
27:29
That was always good. The closest thing to it was Christmas,
27:35
Easter, and Thanksgiving.
27:37
Then it was the extended family as well. You always got together for that.
27:43
So that would always be about 20, 25 people at somebody's house.
27:48
That was also traditional.
27:51
And heaven forbid, If you try to tell them you were going to go someplace else, that had to be.
27:56
Well, if you recall, that tradition was kept up by your mother and I.
28:02
We had the family dinners here. Yes.
28:06
And I thought that my mom and dad had done enough dinners. Mm-hmm.
28:11
Yep. It was time for them to retire. Yes. I would do something.
28:15
I can't think of any other tradition that was as special as that.
28:21
Well, Daddy, what's so funny is that you say that you didn't do it the way you
28:24
wanted to, but that is the one thing I remember from childhood.
28:29
I remember many things, but one that really sticks in my mind was that we all ate dinner together.
28:35
So whatever was happening, when you were home, you ate dinner together.
28:39
As we got older and swimming would go late or water polo would go late or there
28:44
was a play I was in, something like that, you would show up with food. You never ate alone.
28:50
And all of those traditions we have brought into our house.
28:55
Wonderful. It's something that was so important to me growing up to have family
29:00
dinners and all be together.
29:02
You get that one meal where you can chat.
29:05
Everyone eats together. We have our big family dinners here now because we're in different states.
29:10
I have my extended family here that we've created, and we do those big family
29:14
dinners because it's important to all of us to get together and have those moments.
29:19
So that tradition lives on still. You don't want to lose them because that's
29:24
how you talk to each other.
29:26
Pretty, how was your day? Did you learn anything today?
29:30
Did you see so-and-so that he said he was close to you?
29:33
When i was a kid in grammar school i grew out of it by the end of my eighth
29:39
grade i could really stir up some crap at the table i gave none indigestion more than once,
29:46
i was just a pain at times a lot of it was i was frustrated i was going through
29:52
i guess from being a kid to developing into a teenager and developing all the hormones and all of that,
30:00
and didn't quite understand all of it.
30:02
Thought I was a hell of a lot more important than I was.
30:06
And I would kind of mess up some meals sometime.
30:10
And I think back, and like I said, I'm surprised I didn't get strapped a hell
30:15
of a lot more times because heaven knows I deserved it.
30:18
Well, Daddy, I didn't lick that off the grass when I've ruined some dinners.
30:22
No, very good. Very good.
30:25
I'm hoping that you remember that all the time. Oh, I remember that one Christmas dinner that I ruined.
30:31
We don't have to talk about it here unless we want to go into it.
30:34
No, no, we have to be careful. have to be careful.
30:38
So speaking of dinners, over the weekend, we were at the governor's ball,
30:43
which you saw the picture.
30:44
Well, you look very lovely. Ben looked very chic.
30:48
Yes. He looks good in a tux. He can rock a tux. A beautiful couple.
30:53
So when we were sitting at the table, I showed them your napkin trick. Oh my goodness.
30:59
So did mommy give you a napkin? She didn't give you the napkin.
31:04
You mean my famous bra. Your famous bra.
31:07
So when we were kids, we were kept occupied with a napkin trick when we were sitting at the table.
31:15
And you'd fold your napkin in a way that created a bra.
31:21
Since then, I have taught all of my friends from the time I was 10.
31:28
We all taught them this trick.
31:30
And then over the weekend, I taught them this trick at the table.
31:35
And I just made one for you right here. The bra.
31:39
Oh, good job. I mean, I just keep getting better at it.
31:44
Yes. I used to like to use bigger napkins. But the people listening will know
31:50
the bra because they've all learned it.
31:52
They've all learned how to do that.
31:55
I forgot who taught me. I forgot who it was. But I says, wow, that's fantastic.
32:01
It's a good one. And I have to admit, I did it a couple of times and some people didn't appreciate it.
32:08
Yes, they did not appreciate it at all.
32:12
I was quite offended since they didn't have the good sense of humor that I had.
32:17
I don't think I made any enemies about it, but I came pretty close to losing
32:23
acquaintances. Let's put it that way.
32:26
They weren't meant to be friends if they can't take the trust.
32:28
Yes, they weren't worth having. They weren't meant to be in the circle of trust. They were not.
32:33
So you were very close to Lala, your sister. Well, her name was Emily,
32:37
but we call her Lala. Yes.
32:40
What do you take with you from that relationship that you had with Lala? Lala was caring.
32:46
She was very caring. She was always worried about me. She was very giving.
32:52
Lala did all my laundry.
32:56
Amazing. In fact...
32:59
She ironed my underwear. Well, that's a very Italian thing to do.
33:03
That's how meticulous she was.
33:06
She became my partner when we had Machine Shop.
33:12
And she also took care of the books.
33:16
But she always worried. Lala didn't
33:20
give herself credit for how good and decent and kind person she was.
33:27
She always put herself down. Hmm.
33:30
And it wasn't needed.
33:33
No. It wasn't needed at all. She finally, later in life, realized that she was
33:41
a damn good person. It had value.
33:43
It was too late. Yeah.
33:45
It was too late. She was devoted to mom and dad.
33:49
To be quite frank, if it wasn't for her, I don't know who would have been their
33:55
caretaker because that's what she was. Yeah. Yeah.
33:59
She wanted to have a boyfriend. She wanted to find somebody to be with, but it never worked out.
34:07
She was the king of that house, king to the office.
34:11
Don't mess with it. And she had a giant life-size picture of Mikhail Baryshnikov
34:16
on the back. Yes, her buddy.
34:18
She thought that he was the greatest guy going since sushi.
34:21
And he was in his ballet ensemble. Yes.
34:24
His fully life-size picture of him on the back. I think she'll worry every once
34:27
in a while to give her courage to continue on.
34:30
I bet. When we sold the house, it's still there.
34:33
No. Yeah, I never took it down.
34:36
People took it down. They did, but I left it there. If they had any young girls,
34:40
they probably went excited and became ballerinas.
34:43
She was wonderful. She was the best. She loved us.
34:47
She loved us. She loved us. There was nothing that she loved more of taking you guys' places. Yeah.
34:52
And Nunu and Nunu as well, but Nunu all used to get a kick out of taking you to Nolan Zoo.
34:57
Oh, we went to the zoo all the time. We went to the zoo all the time,
35:00
and we would get the pink popcorn block.
35:03
It was like a rectangle popcorn. corn it was hard as a
35:05
rock and it was pink yes we used to get that every single
35:08
time yep it was great i went
35:11
into we rented a house we rented a house while
35:15
we were selling this house we had to go into that rental unit for
35:17
a night the backyard reminded me of noni and nono's backyard where you opened
35:24
up the mat you opened up the door and you walked down the steps into like the
35:30
patio with the back patio with the gravel and well they had the gnomes all the
35:36
gnomes that would sit there.
35:39
Yes they love gnomes they love the gnomes but
35:42
we rented this house and i walked into that patio and i
35:45
went oh my gosh this reminds me of noni and noni all you needed was the latin
35:49
with the grapevines growing over the top christine and i used to play back there
35:53
that's all that was a nice little spot it was such a nice neighborhood the people
35:57
watched out for each other yes even Even though the little lady across the street
36:01
would just peer out the window from her drink. Oh, yes.
36:03
Yes. Yes. But they all watched for each other.
36:06
This was... Yes. And Emily...
36:09
When they knew that dad died and then mom died, they knew that she was living alone.
36:15
They knew that I would come up every once in a while, but they would all sort
36:20
of watch out for her in their own indirect way.
36:24
And the neighbors across the street, they were really good to her.
36:29
And their two daughters, Emily, had known since they were three and four years
36:35
old. They used to come over with their little outfits on when they were Cub
36:38
Scouts or whatever it was, the brownies.
36:40
And then they were Girl Scouts and buy cookies and candy. She'd buy all the cookies.
36:44
If they got older, they would be very friendly.
36:48
Neighbors on the other side would invite her over to have a cup of coffee, some tea and crackers.
36:54
They really watched over her. Yeah.
36:56
And when everything happened, they were very sad. When she passed away.
37:03
Yes. Thank God for that. because that took a little pressure off of making sure
37:09
everything was all right.
37:10
Yeah. So looking back, what is one of your proudest moments as a father?
37:16
Having two daughters and watching them graduate from grammar school, high school, college.
37:24
Christina went two years. You went four.
37:27
Marrying excellent, fine husbands and having your own families and raising your own families.
37:35
And one of the things I thought would never happen, and I don't know why,
37:39
I thought that you never picked up on it, but the two of you are fantastic cooks,
37:46
unbelievably good cooks.
37:48
And you're both excellent mothers. You raised and are raising four beautiful
37:54
children and you've learned how to take no crap from them.
37:59
And that's important yeah you're the
38:02
parent not them and i think
38:05
that's very important i don't give a damn if
38:08
my daughter was seven feet tall i'm the
38:11
parent if i had a son seven feet tall i'm the parent there will come a time
38:15
when you're the parent that's a different story but even then you better be
38:20
careful if you disrespect me and that's what i'm most proud of The other thing
38:25
that I'm most extremely proud of is Mary's success,
38:30
finishing college,
38:33
become a teacher, worked 30 years as a teacher, loved by everybody,
38:39
became teacher of the year. I remember that. Fantastic.
38:43
And giving birth to you and your sister.
38:46
And all of that is actually all one big proud that I am a part of it.
38:52
That's pretty good, Daddy.
38:54
What do you want your grandkids to know about you? That's not easy because they're
38:59
not always able to see all of my magnificent talents because they're in different places. I think...
39:06
The one thing I would, I hope that they, that they all four of them would take
39:10
away, that I've always been honest and I've always meant what I said and that I loved them dearly.
39:16
That's very true, daddy. It's very, very true about you.
39:21
Yeah. That, if, if that works out, then I'll take that as a tenor.
39:26
I like that. And there may be other things that are good, but not right now.
39:31
I can't think of them, but I could write a list and send them to you.
39:35
But that would be kind of boring after we don't have enough time.
39:44
Well, I have learned many, many things from you. Most importantly,
39:50
to check the oil in my car.
39:52
That has come in handy many times on my own car, but also in my husband's car
39:58
because Benjamin doesn't know how to check the oil in his car.
40:05
How you taught me to be able to fix things, right?
40:12
To look at something in a different way to be able to fix it.
40:17
And I feel like that trait comes from you and how you looked at things when
40:23
we were kids and how you would work on things.
40:26
Christina and I both do that every day. We can look at something and fix it,
40:30
do it right, and do it with pride.
40:32
You always did your work. you were very proud of the work you did.
40:37
You didn't half-ass it. You always did it right. And I feel like we've taken that in our own lives.
40:43
That's wonderful. Maybe to an extent that sometimes we're a little bit nuts, but it's true.
40:50
Yes. Very true. But you see that, that sort of rubbed off indirectly,
40:55
never intentionally, but that's exactly like I learned how to cook from Nana,
41:02
never having cooked, but having watched her and having seen it and remembered it.
41:08
And some of that, you and your sister picked up. Oh, yeah. You know?
41:13
And I think that, why did I remember it? I hadn't planned to cook anything.
41:19
That was the last thing I wanted to do. You did all of the cooking.
41:23
Mommy did the cooking when we were little, but you did so much of the cooking
41:28
in the house, Daddy. Today you do all the cooking in the house. It was fun.
41:31
It was so awesome. And it still was fun. Of course, now I have more time than before.
41:35
Yeah. But I'll tell you right now, sometimes I don't want to do it.
41:38
But I do it anyway because I don't want to starve to death.
41:42
And calling Gotch at $80 for two hamburgers, that's a no-go.
41:47
The best memories I have as a kid were around a table and in a kitchen.
41:53
We would all cook together.
41:55
When we were so little, when Noni and Lala, we would stay overnight.
41:59
Noni and Lala would make breakfast, they'd make dinner, and Christina and I
42:02
would be in there with them.
42:03
We'd be doing all the things. They'd be giving us the dough,
42:06
and we'd be pulling the squids apart and cutting them.
42:10
You wanted to learn how to cook. I will never forget to this day,
42:13
the boys asked for something for Christmas. My favorite story is,
42:18
you know what? I asked for an easy-bake oven my whole life.
42:23
All I wanted was an easy-bake oven. And Nonu looked at me, and he said,
42:29
If you want to cook, there's a stove right there.
42:34
It's in the kitchen. You can go and cook.
42:37
And you were right. I didn't need a microwave. That's all the easy bake oven is a microwave.
42:43
We cooked all the time. And all of the bad Italian words, all the swear words
42:47
in Italian, I learned from the kitchen.
42:50
When everyone was yelling at each other about, no, that's not how you do the
42:53
pesto. That's not the noodle's not right. That's not how you do this.
42:56
You don't know what you're doing.
42:58
It was all in that space.
43:01
All part of the love from the family. Yeah. It made your character who you are.
43:08
Absolutely. You can't lose it. You don't want to lose it. No.
43:11
And the boys will carry it forward in their own way. It's in their genes.
43:16
Easton asked me how to make a grilled cheese the other day.
43:20
It's probably the first time he's been interested in doing anything in that
43:23
kitchen. But he was like, how do I do this?
43:26
Very good. I taught him how to turn on the oven, all that. Grayson makes his own omelets.
43:32
Grayson likes to be in there. He chops the things. He'll pull out bell peppers
43:36
and just chop them up for himself.
43:38
He loves being in the kitchen. But that's very good. It is.
43:42
There may come the day when you have to be able to do that on your own.
43:46
You never know. That's right. It's just like washing clothes.
43:51
Yes. You know, I never washed clothes. Are you kidding me? No.
43:57
And when I got married, you know, there's a washing machine.
44:02
And unless I put my dirty clothes in it, they're not going to get washed.
44:09
There you go. And your mother has a terrible schedule.
44:14
Yeah. I want to tell you, she was working early in the morning and coming home at 7, 8 o'clock at night.
44:22
After school. and having to still correct papers
44:25
she needed all the help that she
44:28
could get and i was happy to do it because she wasn't going
44:30
to give up she was a teacher and it took
44:33
time but there were things that i learned
44:36
and it worked out so that now i'm helping your
44:39
sister with the kids giving her a hand so that she can have the time to do what
44:46
she's doing and not have to pay exorbitant prices that they charge for doing
44:54
laundry in a apartment complex. Yeah.
44:57
I couldn't believe $10 a wash. It's crazy. $10 for a dry.
45:03
It's highly rubbery. And not always have success. And you don't know who the
45:06
hell's hair and other parts have been in it before you. Oh, that's gross.
45:11
You got to remember that. That's so gross. You just go on.
45:15
Yeah. That's all part of life. I will never forget when we were kids,
45:19
when we would stay with Lala and Noni, they would let us paint their nails.
45:23
But they were both allergic to the nail polish.
45:28
So we couldn't really put anything on them. They would give us brushes and little
45:32
containers of water. And we'd scrub their nails and pretend to file them.
45:36
And they had the super long, sharp nails that looked like daggers. Especially Lala.
45:40
You could cut someone with it if you needed to.
45:44
Lala liked to have points on her nails. She had points, and I'll never forget,
45:47
when Lala passed away...
45:50
They put a full makeup on her, which she was never in a full face makeup.
45:54
Always in the best suits.
45:56
She was head to toe in pink with a matching bag.
45:59
All of them were always well-dressed, but they put nail polish on her nails when she died.
46:07
Well, at that particular time, she was no longer allergic.
46:11
She didn't have a damn thing to worry about, so it worked out.
46:15
I will never forget that, Daddy. I will never forget that. All right.
46:19
So you have two grandsons that snowboard.
46:24
Yes. And we're up in the mountains all the time. The catalyst for us snowboarding
46:29
was when we were kids, we would go to Tahoe and be with all these families.
46:34
The parents would ski together and the kids would ski all day.
46:37
It was the best time, the best memories of being in Tahoe.
46:40
When the kids were little and the winters were terrible here and needed something
46:44
to do with them, I said, you know, Ben, we should start skiing.
46:48
Ben, being a surfer, didn't want to ski. He wanted to snowboard.
46:51
So I lost this battle of skiing, but the boys immediately started snowboarding.
46:56
We started doing this because I did it as a kid, and it was the best winter pastime.
47:02
Everyone was always together. We had the most fun together.
47:06
Do you have any great memories of us skiing and being up in Tahoe and in the mountains? No.
47:16
The only memory i have is hitting a tree and breaking my collarbone oh god i'll
47:21
never forget that's my only memory of tahoe i tried to be something that i was not,
47:28
and really thought that i could ski i was just lucky that i didn't kill myself,
47:33
i just couldn't get my two legs to work together no matter how hard i tried
47:38
every much of the while it worked out.
47:39
Some of the meals we had at the Basque restaurant, I can remember that was nice.
47:46
We would be together with the families.
47:49
And we were bringing up our homemade wine at that time.
47:53
I can't remember how much wine we would consume, but I would generally bring up two gallons.
48:00
We were up there four or five days. That would be gone. And then Gail would make more wine.
48:07
And we just had one hell of a time. Yeah.
48:11
When the three got together with those two couples, it was pretty good time.
48:16
And they skied and they had a lot of fun. I remember some of that.
48:21
I can't remember anything specific at the townhouse itself.
48:27
Other than that, there was a great place to live. Probably the only people that
48:33
really had a good time at the townhouse was you and your sister with all your friends.
48:38
Who stayed all night and consumed illegal beverages.
48:43
And heaven knows what else went on. But I had the good sense just to keep my
48:47
mouth shut and let you go.
48:49
But you know what? The other thing I remember that we enjoyed were the meals at the Cottonwood Inn.
48:58
Oh, I remember that place. I was up on the hill.
49:02
Up on the hills. That was just great. We had some really nice meals there.
49:06
And it was sort of something like, what the heck is this place? Yeah.
49:11
Yeah. Did Mommy show you the house we're staying at in Tahoe in North Star?
49:15
No. she mentioned that the first one has been scrapped wild dogs were running
49:21
around Tia said Christina and Tia drove by it over the weekend,
49:26
and Tia was like I don't think Maria's going to want to stay here,
49:31
a bunch of wild dogs running around with no leash and it looked like there were
49:35
just a bunch of crackheads oh okay well now we're all together Ben's going to
49:40
drive you and mommy up to Tahoe who is?
49:43
Ben Ben's driving our car with Tahoe yep why so that mommy doesn't have to drive
49:49
and then we got the we got the rental car.
49:53
Did you get the same deal you had last time? I got a Bronco.
49:56
Oh, in other words, you're going to drive that. I'm going to drive. I got a Bronco.
49:59
Okay. You got plenty of room then.
50:02
Okay. Do I have a choice? Can I have my wife drive? She'll fall asleep. Okay.
50:09
You feel unsafe with Ben driving? I don't know too many guys who go 45 miles
50:15
on a street trying to beat the lights.
50:18
His driving ability is between almost and could.
50:22
He's a very courageous driver from my standpoint I'm in the back seat so I know
50:28
I'm going to fall asleep after the first four miles we'll stop at Pete's and
50:32
get some coffees on our way up it'll be such an adventure,
50:36
what place are we stopping at?
50:38
We're going to stop at Pete's and get some coffees before we get you a latte,
50:41
that's two blocks away yeah I know but it'll be fun I'll be asleep then for sure.
50:48
Well I'm very excited and I can't wait for you guys to get here I'm very excited
50:51
for you guys to be in here again. Daddy, I love you so much.
50:55
I love you too. I'm looking forward to seeing you and the boys. Just a couple weeks.
51:01
I'm quite honored that I'm she smart.
51:07
Maybe I should have worn a wig, but with a mustache, people would have been
51:11
suspicious right off the bat.
51:13
I don't want to get too far into that or I'll probably get thrown in jail.
51:17
So we'll leave it go with that.
51:19
All right, Daddy. Thank you. You have a wonderful evening. Thank you,
51:22
Daya. Love you. Love you, Marie.
51:25
Bye, daddy. Bye. Bye-bye.
51:28
Thank you so much for joining me today on She's Smart. New episodes drop every Thursday.
51:33
Don't forget to subscribe and share. Stay cozy.