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How to Reconnect with Your Inner Voice · Project Emerald Collective

• Eve: Good morning everyone. I'm so grateful that you're here with us today. I'm interviewing Susie Taft this morning, the founder of Scanties, Anti-Shapewear. And Susie has such an interesting story and I can't wait to dive into this with her. So Susie, over to you. I'd love to hear a bit about the hats that you wear and also the three major points really that you can identify that have in your life so far that have got you to where you are today. Susie Taaffe: Yes, certainly I I'm just ⁓ sorry, no, I was just my emails kept dinging. I didn't want them to ding throughout the thing. That's well, that's one of my hats. Tech Tech Guru. well, I think probably the three hats I'm wearing have been created by the pivots, I suppose. So they're all very intertwined. So Eve: That's fine. ⁓ that's okay. See you guys. Susie Taaffe: ⁓ at the moment I would say I am wearing the hat of being an entrepreneur, ⁓ the hat of being a single mother, and then also the hat of like uncovering who I really am. So sort of like peeling off all those layers. And everything is intertwined, but they're the three distinct areas I probably see in my life at the moment. And obviously with entrepreneurship. And the AI revolution that's happening at the moment. So it's like learning the agentic AI economy and how all the technology is moving so fast. So that is such a fast moving space. And especially as an entrepreneur, I've got Scanti's ⁓ anti-shapeware brand, which I will talk about w how that happened in one of the pivot when I get to the pivots. But ⁓ the like the AI economy is just moving so fast. So keeping up with that, I'm doing a lot of research and Digging into like there's so many new apps and so many new technologies and it's very overwhelming. So studying the back end of that and automation and workflows, probably so I can free up more time to be able to be a mum and also to dig into like who I am and why we're here and they're all so interrelated. And I I really noticed over the last sort of few months that I really forgot about the Remembering who I am and operating from that. And I've been and I went into autopilot, really busy into the entrepreneur side and just really bang, bang, bang. But I think if you don't have the balance, then I then you lose sight and the universe will tell you. Like you get shown very quickly if where you're putting all your energy, like if you are smashing out proposals and this and that and and not and none of the doors are opening, it reminds you. You have to take a step back and then reconnect back in and start using your heart as the sat nav. And then the head is still the driver, but the heart has to lead. And and it's a new dance, I think, that I'm learning to to like balance because I think we're not so used to running from our hearts, like using this as our guidance system. Like I think Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: In the past we've sort of fluked it. You know, when you s feel really excited to do it, but the really excited feeling to do something didn't override all the shoulds and the expectations of what you should be doing. And so it's just peeling back nearly everything I do and like, but why should I? Like, and checking back in. So I'm having a bit of a dance with that at the moment. Eve: Mm-hmm. ⁓ absolutely. Yeah, I feel that too. And that is the journey that I've been on actually with Project Emerald. ⁓ is that, you know, the and the entrepreneurship is like, you the bang bang bang, trying to smash out, you know, all the things that you need to be doing or you should be doing, ⁓ and then not listening to my heart and le letting that lead as to where I naturally feel like I can make a bigger impact and make a difference. So, yeah, super ⁓ that resonates a lot with me. Susie Taaffe: Yes. And I think I think it's probably nearly a result of this busyness crisis that we've all like it like it's all been culminating and it's sort of like I feel like it's like and especially now I think AI is nearly ⁓ like it's like the catalyst for us having to actually go because everything happens so far. So now you can execute on th but you it's like a runaway train. So I think that the AI speed of execution has really forced us to Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: Well forced me to just hang on a second, just slow down and like check in and and I think, yeah, I think if we don't do that, like as I said, you can just execute and execute and execute, but you can go round and run in circles because this connection is the one that knows the right way. Like it knows more than I look, and I love our brains. Our brains are fantastic for actually getting the stuff done, but making sure we listen in. Eve: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Susie Taaffe: And I think that AI has made everything busier and faster and ⁓ social media and like cons consumption and everything. There's so much sort of distraction out there that if you don't sort of come back within and check in with well, what do I what do I really need right now? And it might be to smash out that like tax return, but it might also be to lie on the bed and do a meditation, or like I have a really busy brain. So sometimes I need to watch television to make it like to stop thinking. Eve: Mm. Mm. Susie Taaffe: Like I need that like connection with something else because ⁓ my brain can run away and then it then you just then you actually glitch. I call it I glitch. It's like burnout where you just and your brain stops working and you can't even figure out if you want peanut butter toast or avocado, like do you know what I mean? Or a s fruit salad, like and you just glitch and you have no idea where you're at. So yeah, just the speed of life and the busyness of life has I think it's come to a point where we can't not check in anymore. Eve: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm. Susie Taaffe: because we'll all just be catatonic. Eve: Yeah, absolutely. ⁓ can you talk to us about the three like the three pivots that you've ⁓ identified that, you know, have shaped who you are and where you are today? Susie Taaffe: Yes, definitely. So in our early twenties, my sister and I, ⁓ we we actually pivoted out of ⁓ business degrees and I was an engineer and I was doing a master's in finance and she was doing international business. And one of the assignments was to find like a market with triage in like a not sorry, triage, arbitrage in it. So like an underserved market that we could enter in really easily. And we love traveling, like backpacker traveling around Southeast Asia. And so we did the assignment in real life and visited manufacturing companies in Thailand and Bali and India and and China and ⁓ we ended up creating a maternity clothing industry. So in our mid-twenties, ⁓ never having been pregnant, but at the time it was a really underserved market because people were just designing what had been done forever and it worked, but it wasn't stylish and it wasn't glamorous like it wasn't fun. And so as two younger girls that like love fashion and colours and like fun bright clothing. So we that was a fantastic ⁓ like sort of entry point because we were thinking about it differently and that's where the engineering brain, I suppose the entrepreneurial brain, it's like, okay, that's being done this way, but why does it have to be? Why can't we make the fun dresses that are being sold everywhere that you want to buy if you're not pregnant into maternity clothes? So I would say it was actually the pivot from that is my first big pivot was When the GFC came and that business shut down because we just had too many bad debts and it just became not worth it. I pivoted from that into back into engineering. So I did construction in remote Queensland for gas compressor stations. And so I think what that taught me, that pivot was, because it sounds like a crazy pivot, but in actual fact, looking back on hindsight, what I didn't know, what I which I when I look at it now is that. Eve: Right. Susie Taaffe: Maternity clothing design and manufacturing is still mechanical engineering. And in fact, it's actually harder than doing piping and like putting things into equipment because they're like round pipes or like you go in an elbow, you have a bigger or smaller, does it go down? Does it go up? It's really simple. Whereas a an evolving body ⁓ requires a lot more thought in the design and adaptability and flexibility. So I think what that pivot taught me is Whatever you've learnt along the way, you'll be surprised how you can apply it. And I think it's the beginning of you learning to trust yourself. And I think like, well, if I can pivot to that and and all of a sudden be doing something totally different, I think looking back on that, it's well, and I would even go back a step further on the learning to trust that you can figure things out, ⁓ would be the backpacking in Asia, s like Southeast Asia and ⁓ upon reflection recently, it's because you're solving problems in a low stakes environment. So, ⁓ like when you're backpacking, you might be lazy and sleep in. So you catch the bus at eleven AM and you don't get to the destination. So you have to find a little hut somewhere to stay before you can keep going the next day. So low stakes environment, there's guides to help you, like they still help you find food. It's n it's not a big deal. And I think that that's one of the key life lessons. Is learning to trust yourself in a low-stakes environment and then being able to apply the same as the as the stakes get higher and higher. So that pivot there was definitely where I was like, ⁓ okay, I I can actually do things. Like I've got some skills. I can like it's project management, it's logistics, quality controls, scheduling, all of the same things. So I think it's Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: the point that that pivot and the learning to trust that if you can just take a breath and just give yourself some space, we can do anything. Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: Definitely. So then the second pivot would be when I left that business, the so I had an unexpected divorce. ⁓ I had it like I was not expecting. It came sort of semi-out of the blue and ⁓ I had three kids, five, three, and one. And I was a FIFO engineer, so I can't be a FIFO engineer when ⁓ when you have kids that little. Well, I could. I chose not to because my value was to spend time with my kids when they were little. and so that's when I decided to start scanties. And so I and this is what I do to myself, to s sort of corner myself into doing things, back myself into a corner. I I booked three frequent flyer points. So like you can't move them easily, but for me, if I have something booked like that, it's very easy to just turn up to the airport. And then it's very easy to get on the plane. And I sort of just approach it I hadn't like that because I hadn't been to China in about eight years. So like I had no idea if anything I knew was gonna still be there. I had no idea, like I didn't even have the phone numbers for anyone. I had no I had nothing. ⁓ but luckily we'd had the tech revolution by then. So we had smartphones and we had WeChat and we had translator apps. So the world had evolved to make it a bit more friendly. but it was at the beginning it was just like okay I'll get there. And then it was like, can I still figure out how to get to because I used to land in Hong Kong, can I still figure out how to get to China? Can I still figure out how to get to my hotel? Like just taking little steps and little like, let's just see. And I suppose that really taught me the process of like if you think, like, if I think back, if I knew what I know now, like the thought of that would be so overwhelming. But when you just take little step, little step, little step, or let's just see. If that works, let's just see if that works. And you just sort of take little steps to and then eventually you'll you notice and then a little setback, you might have a little setback, but you're never right back at the beginning. So I think learning how to just have it, just try. Let's just try that. Let's just go and see if the fabric markets are even still there. Let's just go like little things like that. So I think that that pivot really taught me how to just Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: tackle things in a just a step by step way to not be so overwhelmed by trying to think, but how am I gonna do it all? It's like just start little by little. And I think that that pivot definitely taught me that. Eve: Yeah, that's so cool. And I love that travel is often our greatest teacher. Like you have to think on your feet, you're in an un unfamiliar environment. Like I always think that it's the best investment you could make in yourself, really. Susie Taaffe: ⁓ I agree. And that's also my kids. They're learning that as well. Like my poor son here. He left his passport on the plane and he had a very grumpy he was going back with a friend back to Australia and he had a very grumpy customs officer. And my friend had already gone through the thing and he she he wouldn't let her go back and he was twelve. And I don't think he'll ever forget his passport again. He got it back. He got it back from the it was in the seat pocket, but you're right, it that's those things he I I would Eve: Right. Susie Taaffe: Definitely guarantee that boy will never forget his passport ever again in his life. Eve: Love that. And then talk to us about the next pivot. Susie Taaffe: So that is the most recent pivot and that was the move to the US. So we're in California now. and I was circling this one for a long time. So like I said, step by step by step, like like probably from about twenty twenty three, I think. I was I'd landed stock in the US and at the time I hadn't definitely decided if we'd move here. ⁓ it was more just I knew I needed the US market. It was bigger. We needed to offset the Australian summer because it's ⁓ Scanties are really good in hot weather. ⁓ so I need in winter it's a bit quieter. So I was trying to offset the have an all-year all-round year summer. And I just investigated. I just took I just went to Austin in Texas, which is where the warehouse is, and I just drove around Texas and met up with some people and just little by little, little steps, little steps, looked at that and then Over to California, like found a PR agent, toured some like came to visit some friends, and that's when I fell in love with Laguna Beach, which is where we are. And then it was just talking with the my friends, and she introduced me to another friend who told me how great the drama program is here. So in Australia, our drama is nothing like the US, and especially for like a creative city like Laguna Beach. So I was like sort of like my ears pricked up and I was like, my eldest loves drama. Eve: Okay. Susie Taaffe: and like absolutely loves it. And my two girls were not very happy at school in Brisbane. ⁓ like it w like they weren't it they just weren't they weren't it wasn't the right fit for them. And so I was like, ⁓ okay, well, that's sort of got my head thinking, well maybe we could maybe we could all move over there. That could be really fun. And then floated it with the girls and it's sort of like it was like a couple of years process, like even like visas. How do we get a visa and Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: And and going through all of those things. And I just approached it the same way I did when I started Scanties. It was just like, okay, well we'll just try this and then we'll just try this and then we'll just just try this. And we sort of just inched our way along and then managed to land in October last year. And and ⁓ the girls started school and they it was like instant. Instant they were home. Like I could not have imagined how Happy they'd be in how set, like it was just their people straight away. My daughter walked into this enormous or like enormous drama theatre group. and they have like musical, like she's always there, she's never home because they're always doing something, a new production, a new like song, like compilation or something, like a new theater, a new musical theater. It was just amazing. But then obviously, the next hurdles in that pivot is like. Getting a social security number, getting like a credit score, getting all of these things which you can only do slowly, bit by bit, and it takes so much time. So having the patience to let it all unfold and then like now we're in the US, so we can do TikTok shop because we're residents here. So it's just learning that process. And and so it's just, yeah, little by little. And and I think what I said at the beginning about learning how to balance all the three hats, Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: I like I nearly need like a reminder on my phone or to stick it on the coffee machine to say, check your three where's what are your three hats doing today? Because otherwise the brain takes over and then you can lose three months of doing, doing, and not get anywhere because you haven't checked in for but is what I'm doing the right thing? Like is it the right thing what I should be doing? So I think that that's been the biggest lesson and probably something I haven't Eve: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: used before probably haven't used before, but maybe even the going back to China for scanties was a little bit of checking in with the heart because it was just like, okay, well let's just do the next step. As opposed to sort of jumping straight in and and just taking it little by little and sort of okay, what do we think? Should we go there? Yes, should we go like should I go that? Let's try that. So I think it's that dance is the biggest thing I've learnt. Eve: Yeah, absolutely. That's such a good way to put it too. So, what does leading from the heart mean to you? Susie Taaffe: So leading from the heart, I think is when you're so aligned with your why and that everything aligns with that same why. And so for me, my why is it's actually I've been reiterating this and reiterating it, but the basic why is to like help myself feel good about myself. And then be able to share that with others. So ⁓ scanties do that because they're I call them anti-shapeware, and they originally didn't have the term anti-shapeware in there, but I saw a a video by a very famous shapeware owner recommending you wore not one pair, but two pairs of shapeware to achieve this tight look in this dress. And that's when I was like, right, I'm starting an anti-shapewear movement because. I am so sick of us being told that our bodies are not okay as they are. So, like that really was in alignment with my why, that I am sick of it. And so I want to s I want for me to be able to say to myself, we are not gonna conform to those standards anymore and shine a light to anyone that wants to join in. Like like if you want to wear shapewear, that is fine, and that's fantastic, and that's if that's what you want, but Eve: Mm. Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: Anyone that wants permission to not wear it, I would love to shine the torch on that. So I became very passionate about this anti-shapewear movement. And then from that, what I started realizing, because you know in business, we're always reiterating our why. Like you're going, but why, but why, but why? And so I dug into, I was digging into why why are we taught? Why do women hate their bodies so much? Why are our bodies not enough? Like, like, and Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: What I found was it's actually ⁓ what I'm coin ⁓ coining the term emotional shapewear. And emotional shapewear is all of the little comments you had when you were growing up, like, ⁓ you shouldn't wear that top, or ⁓ n like like your arms look bigger than that, or whatever it is, or even listening to other like our older women around us talking badly about their bodies. But no one asked the question why. And so I've been digging into it and what I've actually found is Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: Really, us hating our bodies is actually only about a hundred-year-old problem. Like before that they were just surviving. Like the first time really like physiques came out like that was probably the 1920s, like flapper style, that really slender sort of book. And then you sort of fast forward to the post-Second World War when all the advertis like advertising companies and the pharmaceuticals and you look at those advertisements and they're absolutely like, remember the white wine diet and the take these pills to be energized and and thin for your husband. And so that was sort of where Big Pharma and the advertising industry jumped on board. ⁓ because if you look back at history pre-the last hundred years, No one was worrying about if they like if you were curvy, it meant you had a lot to eat. Like you were wealthy. You were you weren't gonna die if some sickness spread through the village, sort of thing. So ⁓ I found that really interesting that it's actually only a problem of the last century. I found that fascinating. Eve: Yeah, right. Yeah, that's true. When you shine a light on it like that. Yeah. Susie Taaffe: Mm. So yeah, so then my n next digging in question is, well, what so it's like, why don't we feel enough as we are? I think our bodies are a fantastic 3D representation for us to blame. But I think it's because we can see them and there's a mirror and we can see in it. But what other sort of feelings of unworthiness are you channeling into the hatred of your body? Like it's sort of like it's a channel to hate about yourself. And so I've just been uncovering What a well, I did a thirty-one day challenge in July really to help myself connect in with my own heart and keep myself on track. And that was funny because it was after the thirty-one day challenge that I actually got stuck in my head for three months and didn't realise until recently. But ⁓ what I f like we are all made from the same like miraculous essence, like that makes the stars and the moon and the sun and the waves and the like all of it. Like That is like rainbows. Like we are all made from that same energy. ⁓ that's like quantum physics. It all comes from the same source energy, a bit like Avatar and the that ⁓ you know, the tree that has all the energy and everyone connects in and they're all really ⁓ aware of like treating everything the same way they want to be, like ki protecting their energy, the animals' energy, the trees' energy. And it's that real balance and and like remembering of how precious that energy is. And that's what I think that all of this emotional shapewear is just it's layers that are in front of our eyes that make us not be able to see the true like amazing miracles that we are. And it's like if you think of a newborn baby. Like they are the most precious thing in the world. Like they are and no one in fact if they've got rolls on their legs, everyone's cheering. Like what a cute baby. And I think that if you think about it from what I like to do, I had a little exercise where you go back to like that little version of yourself where all of a sudden, like maybe someone shouted at you or something, and all of a sudden that's where it starts and you start to feel like there's something wrong with you. And just hug that version of you because and and like did they deserve love? And if they deserve love, that's you are them. Like it's no different. So Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: Love yourself like you would love yourself as a baby, or would love yourself as a toddler, or would love yourself as the six year old that's crying, or the love yourself as the little nine year old that's been bullied at school. Like that's the love we need to give to ourselves. And so I've become very passionate on about this topic because I've just been digging into, well, why don't we feel like we're enough? Why are we not we do we feel we're not rich enough, we're not smart enough, we're not it's all dot dot dot enough. Like all of those things Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: We think about ourselves, they're not true. Like they're just not true. Like you are as enough as the love that little baby gets. Like you deserve that much love. So that's what I've uncovered. Eve: Yeah. Yeah, I love that. It's so interesting and there's there needs to be more conversations about this, I believe. ⁓ so why do you think so many p women become disconnected from their intuition and their inner knowing? Is it from that conditioning? Susie Taaffe: ⁓ yes, the busyness. The busyness. Like and look, cap like Captain Guilty on the busy. Like I could cram more into my day with like so many things into my day, it would make your head roll. ⁓ and look, I'm still guilty of it sometimes, but it's busyness, it's distractions, it's it's the expectations. Like and I I've talked about this a lot. It's like we run ourselves ragged because we must stack the dishwasher and Have the washing done every day and make sure all the beds are made. And so I've just actually said, Well, why? Like if that's actually eating me and if I don't make the kids' beds in the morning and get to sit down for two minutes and have my coffee for me, that's actually feeding me more than the beds being made because you should leave the house tidy. Like if I can get that two minutes to drink my coffee, or just instead of rushing through the shower. Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: Like these are little practices you can do already instead of rushing through your shower like where I've got to go, da da da. It's like just a quick split second of awareness and a breath and I'm gonna enjoy the water. Like I'm actually gonna just I it might still be the same length shower, but just being present and like breathing back in and enjoying it and sort of just slowing that central nervous system down. And I think a good way to do that is to like Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: You know when you accidentally you've spilt the coffee or you stub your toe or someone cuts you off in traffic, I like to say, What's your automatic reaction to that? Are you like, ⁓ silly oopsies? Or are you like, like, do you know what I mean? And that will give you a level of where your central nervous system is. Your automatic responses to things like that. So if you're shouting at the coffee pot at seven AM, it might be time to take your coffee into the garden and just put your feet on the ground and drink it there. You so you need to Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: Like if we check in with ourselves from those automatic responses, you can then you get to start feeling it. So if something comes up, you can actually gauge, well, where am I at? Like in me, like and I think that they're like if you're like as I said, lately I've been like getting so in my head that I would glitch and I can't decide if I want to eat like I don't know, tacos or a fruit bowl. Like I like my brain just go I'm like I don't know, I don't know. So I know then that I need to pull back and do something in my magic toolbox just to center back in and ground. And it sometimes it doesn't even take that long. It can take I remember when I had the big glitch, which was like I couldn't think what to bring to a Memorial Day barbecue, like a salad. Like I love to cook. I could think I could name a hundred salads I could cook like that. And I could not figure it out at all. And so the next day I said, okay, I'm just gonna take as long as I need. And I went for a beach walk and I did a meditation and I had a nice shower and Did all these things and then I looked at the clock and it was like ten thirty AM and I was like, so I'd given myself all this, like the whole day to do whatever I needed, and I already was back to center. So I think finding what things give you that back and then knowing when to implement them. And you might not be able to take an hour and a half off, but just take something little, like maybe sit in your car. G like I love to turn up places twenty minutes early, especially like school pickup. And then you can put some music and then that like Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: s you sort of like you're blocking yourself out time because you're not gonna be late because you're already there. So then you can just relax for twenty minutes and put on a guide of meditation or so listen to some fun music or whatever it is that will feed you. Eve: Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's so cool. I love that tip. And yeah, so talk to us more about your magic toolbox. You've mentioned a few things there. But do you have like, you know, a list that you can share with us potentially after the after the call today? Susie Taaffe: ⁓ definitely. But ⁓ the thing with magic toolboxes though is everyone's toolbox will be different. So ⁓ like for me, like it's what like ⁓ like what gives you the wiggle? What makes you go, ⁓ my god, this is so good? Like what makes you f like, you know, light up. And so for me, like I like I get this I get this in the supermarket, like, and this will ⁓ this like I'll see like a beautiful cauliflower or something. And then I'm like, ⁓ my god, ⁓ that cauliflower looks so amazing. It's like I want to make Eve: Hmm. Susie Taaffe: Like cauliflower cheese, I wanna make roasted cauliflower soup, I'm gonna make this. And then I like, ⁓ but if I'm making coli if I'm making cauliflower cheese, I'll have white sauce. So then I'm gonna make eggplant parmesan, so I'm gonna need eggplants and I'm gonna and then if I'm making the tomato sauce and I'm gonna make this, and so then I'll go home and I will cook eight things at once, seven of which my children won't eat. But that for me is like that lights me up. And I'll go and I'll put music on and I will shop and cook and season and every it's like a little dance. So Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: To other people that might be the idea of hell. But so it's finding the things that you know give you that, ⁓ my God, this is so I love doing this. So it might be drawing or pa some people like journaling. See, I can't stand journal like writing journaling. That does nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. But other people love doing it, getting all their thoughts out. ⁓ onto paper. But for me, I'm just like Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: I've also really got bad handwriting, so and my letters get all jumbled up. So it ⁓ it doesn't give me that nice sense of release and relief that it does for other people. ⁓ but so get a play like a playlist. I have a Suzy Unshaped playlist actually, which is just all about all songs just making you feel good about you basic they're just on Spotify. make yourself a play every time you hear a song and it goes like, Yes, I love that, just add to playlist. And then you've got the playlist, and if you're feeling Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: Dan, like if you're feeling like you need a like an energizer or I love if I need a reset, Enya. I love put I'll put Enya on while I'm working and I find it just keeps me more centred. Whereas other people are like, I can't stand Enya. ⁓ or classical, like I love the Bridgetton classical music as well because it doesn't have lyrics. ⁓ so it there it's like a there's a million things. Meditation for me. ⁓ I love meditations and I started writing them because I love them so much. Eve: Awesome. Susie Taaffe: So yeah, they're on the YouTube channel as well, because for me, if if you like have bought yourself maybe 20 minutes or thirty minutes, but you don't know what to do, I think putting on a a meditation that might like firstly the breaths, like breathing, just box breathing is a really quick fix that you can do anywhere in the at the traffic while you're like you can do it anywhere, waiting for the kids. And it will interest i instantly like bring you down. So just four in, hold for four, four out, hold for four at the bottom. but yeah, so the meditations always start with that breathing. So you're basically getting a guided breath work. And then I love them with I love music and I love beautiful like forest sounds and ocean sounds and then like the angelic sort of music and and just going on a little journey and you I walk them through relaxation and then Then then you go into a journey of whichever the meditation is about. So I said how we do the meet your younger self, and you can meet yourself and and just give yourself that love because like that self there, receiving that love now is still you receiving that love now. So like just beautiful things like that. So there's so many, but you'll know, like other people like I couldn't stand to do that. That would be really annoying to me. Do you know what I mean? Eve: Yeah, everyone's different, but it's just great to have those ideas, ⁓ to, you know, spark find out what sparks your joy for you, I guess. Susie Taaffe: Definite definite. I think us all talking about it more is great because it's shining awareness on ⁓ I'm allowed to feel good because we come from the era of the generation where it's like like punishment is motivation and and like you flog yourself through that. Like ⁓ a great example is I used to run for fitness and strength. I hated it. I absolutely hated it. I ran at school and it wasn't so bad then, but when I was older I disliked it immensely. Eve: Yeah. Mm. Susie Taaffe: And I kept doing it because I should keep my body healthy and strong. And then I found a gym and it wasn't expensive and it had these great classes and great music and and I used to go and it used to smell amazing and have beautiful showers afterwards. And I swapped to that. I had the same end result, but I loved going. I loved like it was still difficult, but I enjoy like I actually enjoyed it. So Where are you flogging yourself to do something just because of an end result which you can actually adapt the middle conditions to so to make it enjoyable? I think that that is something. So talking about this is great. It's like I can still get the end result, but there's a million different ways I can do it. Eve: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And what have been your biggest lessons in about trusting yourself that you've that you've experienced? Susie Taaffe: Whew I'm in a big trust and that's a good one. I think it's it's really building up. It's like you build up the trust, so then you know how to listen. Like probably this move, moving here, that was a big leap of faith. Like I knew it had a fantastic drama program, but I didn't know she was going to walk in. Eve: I go and date. Susie Taaffe: And be instantly received by an entire community of people that just made her feel seen and feel heard. So that was defin like, you know, I just I knew that we had to be here. Like I was just like, it was just such a strong we have to go. And it was trusting that to come because it was a big like it was big. It was huge actually. And it's still huge. But when I then saw the outcome. I was like, it was like my heart knew that this was where they needed to be. And also they wanted they were desperate to come as well. So it was like everyone knew that that's where we needed to be. I think probably when I got divorced, because it was unexpected as well, that process of learning to trust myself. ⁓ and I think you go through it and you think, like you start learning all these things about yourself and you think you know everything. And then I look back now and Like I'm still learning, I think knowing that we're never going to stop learning things about ourselves and and how we are wired and ticked and how to run our lives on this sort of trust basis from our hearts and really listening in. And does that feel right? And it's funny because I actually watch how you speak. Because I actually my sister had done a meditation and she came into the room and I literally said to her, ⁓ I just limped through a proposal and then now I'm having a play with TikTok shop, I think, at what it was. And it's like, listen to the language. I limped through a proposal, but now I'm having a play with this. So you can you're kind of giving yourself a roadmap for which your heart sort of well, what you're like what your body wants to do, like what feels good to you. Like it comes out of your mouth and it's just having that awareness to listen to what you're actually saying. Like how are you speaking about a task? Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: And how like if you look at another task like like h how are you speaking, like what does it feel like in your body? Like is it ⁓ or is it like, yeah, that's awesome, that's so exciting. And then something that might be so exciting, halfway through it might like you might get lots of blocks coming up and it might be just, okay, that's time to step away from that and pivot to something else because it's now feeling overwhelming. And obviously with deadlines and stuff, sometimes you can't, but if you can, it's maybe let's just switch and pivot for a bit. Do something else until that feels exciting again. And let the blocks clear. Eve: Mm-hmm. Yeah, true. And if you're someone that works under pressure, potentially it's waiting till the last minute to get it smash it out, get it done. Susie Taaffe: And in those cases, you just need to adapt your environment to make it the most pleasant that you can. So put on whichever music is gonna fuel you to do that job, like housework. I said we pause the housework, but occasionally I feel really inspired to do the housework, but I make it enjoyable and put on Fleetwood Mac because Fleetwood Mac is the best house cleaning music to me. I just find the beats so good. ⁓ and try and make the task so enjoyable and and then like Yeah, adapt the conditions to whatever you're doing. If it's one of those things that has to be done that you don't particularly want to do. Eve: Yeah, absolutely. ⁓ so touching on the journey back to yourself, was there a moment when you realised you weren't fully living as yourself? Susie Taaffe: Definitely. And I was really lucky. I was really lucky when the divorce happened that I did have like quite a good ⁓ like spiritual mentor. Like and I think and I think the first thing was like in in an event, like in this case a divorce, it takes 50% of both parties to make that event happen. So it was sort of like a snap out of there's no victim mode. Like I contributed to this end result equally to the other party contributing to the end result. Like you could put blame places, but I think learning to take that ownership early on and actually see, ⁓ okay, yes, you did contribute here. You did contribute that there. Like you're not a saint just because you were the one staying. So I think like that was probably Eve: Hmm. Susie Taaffe: When I realized, okay, and then and then from that, if I was contributing to that and that, it's like where have I been abandoning myself? And I think now what what I notice, and it's funny, 'cause I actually was throwing a little hissy fit the other day and I said and I said to my sister, I said, I I'm actually not mad at them. I'm mad at myself because I abandoned me and I gave it away. So I think now looking at when citrons situations irritate you. How did I like what did I what did I contribute to that though? Did I abandon myself? Did I not state things clearly? Did I do you know what I mean? So it's sort of like learning to see the situation from both sides and realize that everyone plays a part in everything from both sides. Eve: Yeah. Yeah. That's true. And guess what prompted you to make that change? Was it just experience or you know, take that ownership? Susie Taaffe: I think I was probably like lucky that someone said, Hey, go and see this person. So then once you start uncovering those things, like I love to learn, like learn about okay, well what well if that's then then what's this? And then like and then you go down the rabbit hole and you start learning to peel off all the layers and you learn a little bit about this and a little bit about that and a l and you sort of just keep and it's just I think we're just these massive onions. And everything's a layer, like every aha moment about yourself. So Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: And the job is never done. There will always be new layers to peel off. So I think it was I got hooked on this sort of like new way to look at things. I suppose. It was like I was really interested in, okay, so and then when you start digging into the w the so the point I was digging into was what's the point of all of this? Like, why are we here like like you go quite when you have that When you have that sort of life your life blows up, you're like, well, what is the point of all of this? If I wasn't supposed to be married with my three kids and that's all fallen apart and now I've got to rebuild out of the rubble, what's like I want to know what the point is before I go and invest in this? So it's that existential crisis that causes you to start digging. And like, well, what is the point? And I remember I read a really fantastic book by ⁓ Anita Morjani. And she had an after ⁓ near-death experience where she had like stage five cancer. There is yep, she was dead basically. And she crossed over and she came back and then she wrote about her experience. And it was just it just shone a light for me on the point of all of this, which is basically to live here enjoy and be of service, enjoy. Eve: ⁓ Susie Taaffe: And if that helps other people be in their joy, then like a flow on effect. And if we're all just being true to ourselves and living in our joy and recalibrating when we find ourselves going off base, then everyone could live in their joy. And that's the point. But I have like I have actually the thirty-one day challenge. Like I've been probably looking into studying this for eleven years. And it wasn't until the thirty-one day challenge in January That it all started to really click. Like all of the things I've learned, I was like, ⁓ that makes sense now. ⁓ that makes sense now. And I love to use movies as references. So, ⁓ City of Angels, the do you remember that movie with ⁓ Nicolas Cage, he's the angel, and Meg Ryan, she's the doctor? Yeah. So I was walking down to the beach one day and the sun was shining. Eve: ⁓ yes. Yes, I do. Susie Taaffe: And I was like putting my arms out like that. You know how she does on the bike when she's coming down the sunshine and it just clicked straight into my head. And I was like, ⁓ my God, this makes so much more sense now because The theory is that when we're like souls, not in a human body, we conceptually understand like what love is, what pain is, what fear is, like all of the emotions. But it's only when we choose to come down and incarnate into the bodies that we get to physically like feel what love feels like. Or in his case, like when he's asking her and she's eating the pear and he's like. Well, what does that taste like? And she says, What, you've never eaten a pear? Because he understands what a pear should taste like, but he actually doesn't know what it tastes like. And so he's he he fixes it and says, Well, I don't know what it tastes like to you. And then so she describes it so grainy and soft and cold and sweet and smooth and and and that's when we're not in a human body with our taste buds and our like senses, it's all conceptual. So he obviously chooses to not become an angel, to become a human so he can feel his love. Like he wants to give up all of that just to feel what it would be like to love her. And I think that was a big aha moment for me, that we're here to feel, like to feel everything. That's that's what a that's the point. Eve: Yeah, that's true. And I guess like that's the problem with so many distractions and the busyness is that you aren't giving yourself the time or the space to feel and to connect back in, which is the point of the movement that we're trying to create to live more intentionally. Susie Taaffe: Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. And I think, yeah, so yeah, it's the feel like and it's I'm not sure if you've ever read ⁓ Neil Donald Walsh, Conversations with God. It's fascinating. And it and it expands a lot more on this that theory that you can't feel it like it's how do you like this is what we're here to feel these things, to feel these emotions. ⁓ and it's like God, I know God Eve: I haven't no, but it's somewhere least. Susie Taaffe: could be a dirty word to some people, but spirit, universe, like source energy, it's all the same energy. and like without feeling pain, like or or sadness, how do you feel joy? How do you know what joy feels like? If you live in joy all the time and have never experienced the opposite, how do you know what do you know what I mean? Like you need to have the counterbalance of the emotion to understand like happiness, sadness, like Eve: Mm, the contrast. Susie Taaffe: Like anger, like like joy, like there's just it's that we're here to feel them all. And I think like when we repress those emotions, that's when problems start. And it's sort of like and I think we also were like taught to be strong and you don't like you get on with it and you don't feel upset or feel hurt and and and we push those emotions down. And I think this is all these conversations now about how to learn to safely process the emotions because they'll come up if we don't like, do you know what I mean? How do we learn, okay, I'm allowed to be sad. That thing made me feel sad. And so to sit in the sadness and it's okay to be sad and then how to like process it and then move it along and not store it in our bodies. Eve: Mm. Yeah, I'm loving that there's more c opportunities to have these conversations, it feels like, to ⁓ increase our awareness. Mm. Susie Taaffe: Yeah, definitely. And I think that awareness is the magic word. It's just take it that's how long it takes. It's that just split second of awareness to even well, even give yourself the space. I think the busyness takes up the time and the permission we give ourselves to even check in. Like we just go, go, go. It's like just awareness. ⁓ we're gonna drink our coffee. And like enjoy it. Like Eve: Mm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: Have you you get to work and you're like, I know I had a coffee, but I can't even remember drinking it. Like those sort like we're just rushing through the experience and the experience is the reason we're here. Eve: Yeah, it's so true. So as a ⁓ like, you know, as a mother and the different hats that we wear, like how do we begin reconnecting with who we truly are after years of putting others first? Susie Taaffe: That is definitely a very good question. I think it's a super important one too, because we're modeling to our children how we feel how much space that we get to take up. And and I think that the the day of the martyr is is gone. And ⁓ I was so guilty of being the martyr mother and putting everyone else first and running myself ragged. ⁓ but it doesn't show it all it sh teaches our children is that they're not worthy to put themselves first. So So we're the I think we're the generation that is like sort of straddling these two worlds where we're and it's clunky. It's like learning to drive a manual car again. It's like you sort of forget and you clunk along. It's like, ⁓ that's right, I'm supposed to be thinking about myself. And I think that it is gonna be clunky for a while. Like I think as we as we learn and I like I was really sick a couple of years ago and I had a darling counselor Maureen and she was like, like if you get adrenal fatigue, like you can die. Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: Like it can kill you. She knew someone that it had killed, and she was like, you if you don't fill your cup, like if you don't invest in yourself, it could seriously cause serious health implications. And so it doesn't have to be that drastic, but I think it's goes back to the I am enough to invest time and space into looking after myself. And it's the the cliche of the cup being you can't fill from an empty cup. And it's such a cliche, and I know it like it's gets banged on about, but it's permission from yourself to gift yourself the time and space to look up, to care for you. And it's so true. Like if you're depleted, like the kids don't get the best of you. No one gets the best of you. But it we are in that clunky, I think, transition stage where It's so easy to go back into autopilot. So that awareness and the conscious choosing to reinvest back into yourself and it's as important as sleep, exercise, nutrition. That like calming your central nervous system down is as important, like it should be on the list with those things. And I think it is starting to be talked about a lot more, which is fantastic because as I said, adrenal fatigue can kill you. Eve: Mm. Yeah, absolutely. ⁓ and I guess it's back to that awareness of that you can't fill from an empty cup. So I'm just making that a priority. Yeah, ⁓ so I'd love to chat to you now about authenticity and courage, ⁓ you know, which are two really important topics. So have you ever found yourself living according to someone else's definition of success? Susie Taaffe: Yes. ⁓ definitely like I only think it's only been recently because this like ties into this whole I'm not enough and the shame cycle and the masks that we wear and who we what's what mask we put on for this person and what mask we put on for that person and I like it's I've spent my whole life with wearing all of those masks because If you take those masks off and you actually let them see the real you, we have this like horrible fear that they're gonna hate who we are. And I've been linking that to like it's a primitive fear that if you get kicked out of the tribe, you'll die because you can't live without the other tribesmen. Like if you get kicked out, this is like in caveman times. If you're out of the cave, you're dead. So it's that old, like. primitive patterning to be acceptable and accepted and people pleasing, don't rock the boat. And I think and I can't even remember where I first heard this, but it's that martyr, the people pleasing and the martyr of ⁓ I won't tell them what I really want. I'll just go along with whatever. That someone phrased it that people pleasing is actually lying to the other person. You're not actually giving them the opportunity to like assess what you what you actually want. Like you you're stealing the opportunity away from them. And when I heard it like that, when you think you'd being the good martyr, good person being the people pleaser, doing just going along with the flow, when I heard it as a form of lying, it just completely changed the script on it. And I was like, okay, wow. And look, I still am not. excellent at it because it's vulnerability really. It's it's being it's not even having the confidence. It's more like feeling safe enough at home with you to just show everyone who you are. And that's scary because we're not used to it. I think the next generation, my kids are much better at this than I was much, much better. I think that that vulnerability and authenticity are sort yet there it's it's it's showing the messy bits and the and not having the polished performance and I think I've learnt that a lot with scanties is Being on Instagram and having to talk on videos and like at f and even doing photo shoots at the b beginning, like I was so awkward because it w I it was so vulnerable to be showing myself like that and sharing it like that. But my why for the business was so much bigger that I had to adapt. And I learned that actually no one's laughing at your photos. Like no one's making fun of you doing this. And it's sort of like you build a safety with within Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: you being you and I think we just have to practice that is that actually if you show who you are, probably chances are they're going to like it anyway. And if they don't, that's okay. Maybe they're just not your people. Like I think it's that if and I think with ⁓ especially with businesses and and and Instagram accounts and like if people don't like you or don't like your content, that's fine. It's just they're not the people that are like they're not Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: the people that I'm talking to, like like someone could come on here and go, ⁓ my god, what is she talking about? That is absolutely crazy. I don't agree with that. Fantastic. Like everyone should be having their own opinion and their own belief system. It's just like if anything that I say resonates with you, welcome to be here, sort of thing. And I think that that's with friends. And I think I learnt this on qu quite on when the kids were little is I never pretended to have it together. That was one thing I was very capable of being open and honest about was Of how much I was feeling like a failure at all the parenting things. And you can see people resonating with it when you say, ⁓ like when you connect with them and say, ⁓ yeah, my house is a nightmare. Like I fed them fish fingers last night and that's just all I could manage. And all of a sudden people are like, it's like a permission to exhale. And they're like, ⁓ my god, thank God. Do you know what I mean? Like people are begging you to be authentic and vulnerable so that they have permission to be authentic and vulnerable. vulnerable too. It's like it's like a permission slip when you open up for them that they can open up as well and it's safe. Eve: I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I hear that for sure. And what helped you break free from that? From living from someone else's definition of success? Susie Taaffe: Think it's just years and years of just peeling off the layers. Just peeling off because you might break free from one area, say like s and stopping being an engineer to move into scanties anti-shapewear underwear. Like to some people, they'd be like, But why would you do that? That makes no sense whatsoever. Do you know what I'm like that's sort of a pivot? But for me, like I could be an engineer, it would probably require me to be away from my kids a lot. And ⁓ I could do it, I can do it fine. But it didn't bring me joy. It didn't spark like excitement in me. And then it was also like if if I if like like I could do it, go through the motions, but that would have been living under someone else's idea of success. Whereas I went out and created a business that sparked joy and it was hard. Like it has taken a long time and it was a side hustle for a very long time. And it was very tough. It wasn't the easy road. Eve: Hmm. Mm. Susie Taaffe: But my why was so strong in it that it keeps and I think when you're doing something from a purposeful, like passion-led place, you can get through a lot more hard like tougher situations because it's the why dragging you the why drags you through it. So I think engineering, I could do it. I'd probably be depressed and bored and like you wouldn't have that spark. And then that carries through the rest of your life as well, like all of like your home time. Like And like dreading going to work. So it filters down through everywhere. So I would say that was the first pivot into starting to live more authentically to who I was and what sparked joy. And and then it's just sort of little by little peeling off the other layers. But it's yeah, as I said, it's a it's an ongoing process. Eve: Yeah, absolutely it is. And why in your opinion, why is authenticity so important? Susie Taaffe: Definitely just because you showing people the real you gives you the chance to actually, are they my people or not? Like if you're hiding it up, don't try and fit. Don't if they're not your people, know quickly. Do you know what I mean? You don't need to waste time. If you're two polar opposite magnets, like show them and like show them fast. And it gives you the the the same as well to attract the people who are your people. So like it just makes it faster if you're open, authentic. ⁓ then people can like you're my person or you're not my person. And then it gives I think that permission slip for them to be open and authentic as well is just so important because I've seen it happen with people. The second I've like showed them what a mess I was, they're like, ⁓ my gosh, like, ⁓ thank God I like I can feel safe to be me and not have it all together. So it it's it's you're actually helping people by being authentically you. Eve: Mm. Yeah. And also not wasting your time, I guess, as well. Susie Taaffe: Completely. At that and I think that that's how come like influences, there's been such a shift in influences to showing the messy everyday life and not the polished because you know how there was a sea of influences, all the perfect, everything was perfect, shots like glamorous and and like I think well for me I never followed them because they just ⁓ made me feel bad in my boss about myself. Like when you follow authentic people, like that you connect with, like from sort of like a heart place, it's sort of Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: And this can be people on the internet, this can be people that you meet, like people like school mums or work friends or like us on this call, like when you like yeah, it's just don't we don't we don't have time to muck around. Let's just find our people that make us feel good and feel seen and feel heard. So I suppose authenticity i is linked to that and everyone wants to feel seen and feel heard. And I think when you're authentic, the people that you like the people that you connect with It it's like a you know, two way straight. Eve: Hmm, yeah, it's that magnet comes into play. Yeah, and what role does courage play in living a heart led life? Susie Taaffe: Definitely. So much. You do have to be brave, very brave, because as I said, this is uncharted territory. We're not used to this. We're not used to leading from our heart, and it can be really it can be really hard to listen when your head is saying, hang on, no, no. And I think the move, a lot of this move, we jumped off a lot of steps before we were probably ready to. And so Eve: Yeah. Susie Taaffe: And it was my heart saying, Nope, do it. Do it. And some of the stuff was scary. Like, we hadn't got the visa approved yet. We had the appointment, but I I moved out of my house, my rental. I packed everything up and I moved out of the house, but we didn't have the visa yet. So that was like a massive courage courage play, I suppose. But my heart was so strong on it that it did take me a day or two to just like, ⁓ God, ⁓ god. And then I was like, nope. It's a yes, we're doing this. And it was sort of it was like a jump. And then we came over here probably a bit earlier. We didn't have everything sorted, but I was like, we just jumped and just sorted it out and figured it out. And I think it's the as I said, like the backpacking and then the maternity clothing in China and then pivoting into engineering and then pivoting back to China. It's building up that trust, I suppose, that you can just go over there and just do little by little. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: Like worst case, there's planes that go back to Australia. Like, do you know what I mean? Worst case scenario. But just you have courage, but the courage is actually in yourself. Like courage that you can just take it little by little and just work through it and just assess each thing as you go. And you don't need to look at the like bite off more than you can chew. Just process what you can process and Eve: Yeah. Yeah. Susie Taaffe: And I would often say to my kids, like they'd be trying to get an answer about something, and I was like, I love I would love to give you an answer right now, but I actually don't have enough dar pieces of data yet to calculate it. Like I can't get to that with the with what I'm working with here. Like I need some more pieces of the puzzle before I can get to that point. So I suppose it's great to show them that there's multiple pieces of the puzzle and they have to be sort of you can't make the big puzzle picture without all the pieces. So if all the pieces aren't there, you need to just Keep working until you find the rest of the pieces and then you can make the picture. Eve: Mm. Yeah, that's really good advice. So living intentionally, ⁓ we've touched on daily practices that, you know, help you keep it connected to yourself, which is great. ⁓ but how do you protect your energy? Susie Taaffe: Another very good one. And I sometimes don't realise this until afterwards. But I would say I'm probably not the best protector of energy, but I'm good at noticing when it's starting to like go too far. So when you start swearing at the coffee pot or like swearing at like road rage kind of like. Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: I can tell, okay, I need to pull it back. And I look, I am very guilty. I wouldn't say I'm the best to answer this question because I often go too far and then I'll find myself depleted and in an absolute heap, glitching. And I'll be like, Yeah, you went too far. And then I go back to the magic toolbox and pull it back in. And then and I then I also do, like, especially if I'm mad about something, I'll do an assessment. Okay, why are you so mad about this? And where have I given my energy away? And I'll be yep, you gave it away there and there and there and there. So I'm definitely still a work in progress. And I think having the awareness that mostly when you're angry, you're angry at yourself. And to see where did you give your energy away that has caused those emotions. And so well, that's how I I I have no idea if that would work for anyone else, but that's how I do it. If I and and I'm not very good at pre-protecting. Eve: Yeah, okay. Yeah, it comes afterwards generally. Susie Taaffe: Yeah, it's like, okay, we went too far. But then it makes it easier to become aware of maybe I shouldn't do that or that, or maybe I should just pull back here a bit. And like I I I actually have a really good one for protecting energy on phone calls that ⁓ people might be able to use. And that's like if you know you've got someone that always calls you for a long time, da-da-da-da-da. Like not not usually the positive uplifting calls, they're like moaning calls. It's like look at the clock when they're calling, and when they when you pick up, you say, okay. I've got ten minutes. Let's go. And so you put it yeah, you put a time frame on just if you you can even maybe tell a white light, I've got a call in ten minutes, but I can talk f until then. And then watch the time, and then a minute before the thing, you just go, okay, that is I I'm gonna have to wrap this up. So that is one way I do protect my energy on calls. and also there was another ⁓ contributing to things. Sometimes just take a step, you know, before Eve: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: Especially when we've got like lots of big group posts and things and you can contribute till the cows come home, but just take a breath before you start in. It's like, is this a good use of my energy? Or would maybe the two minutes I spent typing that, maybe I just need to come and sit for a second. Like just again, awareness. Is this a good use of my energy? Is it feeding me or eating me? And if you can invest it in yourself instead of it being eaten from you, then that's a double win. Eve: Mm. Yeah, that's true, absolutely. ⁓ what advice would you give to women, the women out there that are feeling disconnected from themselves or stuck right now? Susie Taaffe: Firstly, I would tell you, you are amazing. You are beautiful. You are like exactly enough as you are right now. Not smart enough. Rich not richer, not smarter, not thinner, not prettier, not whatever it is that makes you feel like you're trying to get to a destination where you will be enough is not true. You it's right now. You are that miracle right now. And This is the part where you're gonna slowly start peeling off all the things that make you feel like you're not enough. And like make maybe just think back to yourself as a little child and just sit there and just like just imagine her or imag look at a picture of you if you can't visualize it. And feel the love or look at one of your children. Like I think children are like look at one of them and just feel the love that you have for them. And that's the same level of love you deserve. And that's the part I think if we think about like I like you know when you look at your f at your children or it might be a pet and there is that like that love that nearly hurts. And that is what you need to redirect back in because the love you have for them, that's the same that's the same love that you have for yourself. Like we just need to swing it back around and start directing it inwards. And it seems to be easier to direct it to you when you were littler. I think and then work up and then you can start working into directing it into you now and start doing things that light you up. Start pushing the shoulds to ⁓ shoulds aside. Like if the word should is in a sentence, I want you to question it, why should I? Why should I? Is it to be thin? Kick that out of bed, do you know what I mean? Is it to be is it to have a tidy house? Like if it's gonna eat away at you and not feed you. Eve: Hmm. Susie Taaffe: You need to like, why should I? And if it feeds you, do it. If it eats away at you, don't do it. Like that is like the rules to live by. Is it feeding you or is it eating you? And just that conscious awareness, the like it's that is it's conscious awareness to start filtering every bit of input that you're getting through that. And it as I said, it is clunky as anything. You might remember to do it for two minutes one day and then forget for a week and then Eve: Mm-hmm. Mm. Susie Taaffe: Like it it takes a while to practice it and maybe you need to put sticky notes up all around your house. ⁓ on scanties.co I have all aff they're like millions of downloadable free PDF affirmation sheets. You can cut them out and print them out and put them in a jar and just pull them out just to remind you. Or stick them around the house. Or just get like write on your bathroom mirror with lipstick or whatever it is that you need to remind you. Stick a note on the coffee machine. Like like write yourself a note and put it in Eve: Mm-hmm. Susie Taaffe: Like pockets of jeans and jackets and then you find it in there. Like just whatever you can do to remind like bring that conscious awareness back with actually, yeah, that's right. I am amazing. I am like a miracle of the universe. Like and we just like then slowly the belief will creep in and then it will just sort of it'll have like a snowball effect. Eve: Mm. Mm. Yeah, I love that. It's the reprogramming I think that that helps with. So just we've I've only got a few more questions just to wrap up our time today. ⁓ what does living intentionally mean to you? Susie Taaffe: Okay, living intentionally is remembering to check into the heart. Remembering to check into the satnav before just the head takes off. And that does take that split second of awareness to actually check in. So I think that's what it means to me. And as I said, still a dance. Still a dance, but it's and it's also, as we said about the vulnerability, it's like Being okay with What you want is okay. Like what it is that you want, when you take away all those expectations, all the shoulds, it's okay for you to want whatever it is that you want. Like taking away all the judgments and that we have of ourselves that we think other people are judging on us ⁓ us, but that but they're really not. We're judging ourselves. Like we're our harshest critic. And we're also the person who li like we lie to ourselves the most more than anyone else. It's knowing you deserve whatever it is that's gonna make you feel good, pretty much. And it's just, yeah, just like holding on to that. Like it we've been so yeah, it's reprogramming. We've been so programmed to put ourselves second, knowing that if you put yourself first, not only are you modeling to your kids that they should put themselves first, like you're gonna have so much energy and joy and Like fun in your life. Like it's just that's how that's intentional living to me. And knowing that you're worth it, understanding that. Eve: Absolutely. ⁓ what advice would you give to your younger self? Susie Taaffe: That you are absolutely beautiful, exactly as you are. And I would love to hug them and cuddle them. And I think probably just say, it's it's all gonna be all right. Like it all turns out okay. And I think like I was painfully shy as a child, like in my primary school years, like painfully shy. Like that was remember we used to ring up on the phone and ask for like if I wanted to call someone and the brother might answer, and that that the idea of that would just send me like into like A cold panic, like sweats the idea that the brother or the dad, even worse, would I have to like ask us Mr. So-and-so? Like it's Susie Taffy, can you please put my like that for me was like so scary. I think that that girl just needs a hug and just a bit of that reassurance about what I'm reassuring myself about now. Just if I gave it to her like 40 years earlier, we might have like cut some cut some corners. Eve: ⁓ Yeah, absolutely. and what's one thing that that you're consciously choosing more of in this season of your life? Susie Taaffe: Definitely just I'm just consciously choosing more things that my heart wants. Like what lights me up? And so, like, when like even if I'm going for a snack, do I want a carrot or do I want strawberries and yogurt? Like which one lights me up? And one time's the carrot and the other times it's strawberry and ⁓ strawberries and the yogurt. Like I know that seems like little, but I think when we do those little micro decisions and start learning to check in and which one like we start to learn how to feel in our body. what our body's telling us. And it's like, ⁓ like and and one day I wanted a carrot and one day I wanted like Greek yogurt with strawberries. And and it's just ch every like just those choices, like do I want to have a bath or a shower? Like little choices like that. Like just I know they seem small, but that's how you practice. So then when it's a bigger decision, you can feel it. Like is that a ⁓ or is it a yeah that's a great idea. And Eve: Mm. Susie Taaffe: And also knowing when it turns from being fun and not so fun anymore, if you've got the as I said, it's not a deadline you have to push through, but if you've got this turn and do something else that is fun and then circle back around on that one when it does feel fun again and just try to live from the feel like how things feel. That I think is what I'm trying to consciously choose at the moment. Eve: Mm-hmm. Mm, I love that. And I guess that is ties back to intentional living, ⁓ in that you are checking in, you aren't ac acting on autopilot and out of habit anymore. Susie Taaffe: And kick those shoulds out of bed. It is, it's a sweater. Eve: Hmm, yes. It's a dirty word. Yeah. Well thank you so much, Susie. I've loved our conversation today. And ⁓ if our audience want to if the women out there ⁓ have this has really resonated with them, how do they find you? Susie Taaffe: So ⁓ I'm on YouTube as Suzy Unshaped. So we're unshaping all of the emotional shapewear that's been put on us. And then scanties.co. So it's a scanties with a K, S-K-A-N-T-I-E-S dot co, is our website. And you'll find us on Instagram under Scanties and Suzy Unshaped as well. So but YouTube has like heaps of free meditations and it's got the free 31-day challenge, which is basically like a prolonged version of me uncovering all of these things about myself. ⁓ and then we've also got the series with my sister Cass, ⁓ Susie on the sofa with Cass, which is ⁓ about her Camino walk and and and relating that to real life, because not everyone can just up and leave for 14 months and do things like that. So yeah, I hope that some of that will resonate with you. And thank you so much, Eve, for having me.