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Bonus IMPROV - I Like Magnets · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  very fine friends you are welcome here this is a safe space for you and just to prove how safe it
• 0:19
  is we're going to do some improv of the bonus variety joe yes would you like to safely give
• 0:28
  us a suggestion i would love to give you a suggestion in a way that is proper and appropriate
• 0:33
  for the setting thank you very much your suggestion is easy easy naughty oh naughty
• 0:43
  you know that you know that makes me think of what one time i was driving home from i don't even
• 0:50
  know where i was probably vegas and i was with my friend in my car we were driving home and i swear
• 0:54
  I don't remember doing anything like untoward or like driving recklessly or cutting people,
• 0:59
  anything like that.
• 1:00
  Yeah.
• 1:01
  And this woman came up next to us and started doing this like.
• 1:07
  The tsk, tsk finger motion.
• 1:08
  Yeah.
• 1:08
  And she was mouthing, you're a bad boy.
• 1:11
  You're a bad boy.
• 1:13
  And like, I'm looking at her and I'm like, I clearly can tell.
• 1:17
  That's what she's saying.
• 1:18
  Like, you're a bad boy.
• 1:19
  You're a bad boy.
• 1:21
  And I like, look at my friend.
• 1:23
  And then we started laughing, of course, because it was ridiculous.
• 1:25
  But then I wanted to be bad.
• 1:29
  Specifically to her.
• 1:30
  Then I cut her off.
• 1:31
  Nice.
• 1:32
  Yeah.
• 1:33
  Self-fulfilling prophecy.
• 1:35
  As Roger would say, quite a few people looking for this little lady.
• 1:41
  Yeah.
• 1:42
  Don't accuse me.
• 1:44
  It's like that time I got accused of shoplifting.
• 1:46
  Yeah.
• 1:47
  As soon as you accuse me, I wanted to knock a rack over or something.
• 1:51
  Yeah.
• 1:52
  Don't make me be bad.
• 1:54
  Yeah.
• 1:54
  This is in your power world.
• 1:57
  Yeah.
• 1:57
  Keep Francis a good boy.
• 1:59
  Yeah.
• 2:00
  Yeah.
• 2:00
  Good boy.
• 2:01
  Good boy.
• 2:01
  Good boy.
• 2:02
  Yes.
• 2:03
  No tsk tsk.
• 2:04
  Good boy.
• 2:10
  Maybe she was just like saying like.
• 2:15
  Battery dying or I'm trying to think of something that something having to do with your car.
• 2:18
  Maybe it was my license plate.
• 2:22
  And she was like...
• 2:23
  Does your license plate say bad boy on it?
• 2:25
  No, it was head boy.
• 2:28
  Maybe she was like, not in my town.
• 2:31
  You're a bad boy.
• 2:32
  Or maybe she was just saying head boy, head boy.
• 2:36
  If you seen her face She didn look open And this was in Vegas On the way home from Vegas On the way home from Vegas Yes Yes that what it was
• 2:47
  That's, and you didn't, what if she,
• 2:51
  what if you actually did something in Vegas that you.
• 2:53
  Oh, she followed me all the way from Vegas?
• 2:56
  Good for her.
• 2:58
  I like her now.
• 2:59
  I like someone who's committed to their anger.
• 3:02
  Yeah.
• 3:03
  That's a long way to be pissed.
• 3:04
  even if someone makes me mad after a while
• 3:07
  I'm like if they're like two cars up
• 3:08
  I'm like just go
• 3:10
  this happened to me the other day
• 3:12
  somebody like cut me off and I was like mad
• 3:14
  I'm like I'm going to be on you then
• 3:16
  and then like for like two minutes
• 3:18
  and then like they like went to the next lane
• 3:20
  I'm like I can't I just don't care
• 3:21
  yeah I know who is the time
• 3:23
  that lane's not for me
• 3:25
  go and prosper
• 3:26
  even like entertaining the notion to me is like
• 3:29
  who is time for that
• 3:30
  rage can be motivating for a few seconds
• 3:33
  And then it's like,
• 3:34
  there are certain people that find rage motivating.
• 3:37
  I don't know who those people are,
• 3:39
  but every time I've ever lost an extreme amount of weight,
• 3:42
  it started with rage.
• 3:49
  Anyway.
• 3:52
  And now improv.
• 4:00
  Julia,
• 4:00
  get in the car.
• 4:02
  I'm coming.
• 4:02
  Get in the fucking car.
• 4:03
  I'm coming.
• 4:04
  Drop, I don't care about those Jimmy sticks.
• 4:06
  Drop them.
• 4:06
  I'm sorry.
• 4:07
  Get in.
• 4:08
  I need them.
• 4:08
  Okay.
• 4:11
  We're following this woman.
• 4:12
  What?
• 4:12
  What did she do?
• 4:13
  What do you mean?
• 4:14
  What did she do?
• 4:14
  She gave us a look.
• 4:16
  What are you talking about?
• 4:17
  We were in line.
• 4:18
  You were buying garbage we don't need.
• 4:21
  She looked back.
• 4:22
  What?
• 4:23
  Garbage we don't.
• 4:24
  I was getting groceries and I got one.
• 4:27
  I got one magnet.
• 4:29
  Okay.
• 4:30
  I like magnets.
• 4:31
  So yeah.
• 4:32
  I got a magnet that we don't need.
• 4:34
  Can you join me on this journey of anger?
• 4:35
  Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
• 4:37
  Okay, so what was the look?
• 4:38
  What was the look?
• 4:38
  She looked back, she looked at the magnet,
• 4:40
  and she went like this.
• 4:41
  Hmm.
• 4:44
  I don't remember seeing that.
• 4:45
  Get my gun out of the glove compartment.
• 4:47
  This seems like an extreme reaction for a look and a, hmm.
• 4:51
  Well, she's going to pay.
• 4:53
  Load it.
• 4:53
  Okay, it's already loaded.
• 4:55
  You bet your ass it is.
• 4:57
  Yeah, it's from the last time.
• 4:58
  Now, I'm going to pull up and just wave it around a little.
• 5:01
  And her face.
• 5:03
  You don't need to actually do anything.
• 5:05
  Just like, just scare her a little, you know?
• 5:08
  Yes.
• 5:09
  I'm rolling down the window.
• 5:10
  Okay.
• 5:11
  Get up close.
• 5:12
  Okay, here we go.
• 5:13
  Here we go.
• 5:16
  Roll down your window.
• 5:17
  Yeah Roll down your window What Oh my God Little girl why do you have a gun It my dad It my dad Point it at her
• 5:29
  I am rolling up my window this instant.
• 5:32
  Oh, my God.
• 5:32
  She's getting away.
• 5:33
  She's getting away.
• 5:34
  Oh, I held up my magnet so she knows what it's all about.
• 5:36
  Good, good.
• 5:37
  Fire a shot at her taillight.
• 5:39
  Bing.
• 5:40
  Good for you.
• 5:41
  Good for you.
• 5:42
  I got it on the first go.
• 5:43
  I got it on the first go.
• 5:44
  That's right.
• 5:45
  Is this all because I went?
• 5:46
  Oh, you know what you did.
• 5:50
  Wow, she did know.
• 5:52
  She knew.
• 5:53
  She knew.
• 5:53
  She knew.
• 5:54
  Hey, hey, don't be mmming us anymore.
• 5:58
  It was involuntary.
• 5:59
  Mmm.
• 6:01
  Oh, you want involuntary?
• 6:03
  No, no.
• 6:04
  Oh, my God.
• 6:05
  I'm rolling my window back down and getting away from you as fast as possible.
• 6:09
  I feel alive.
• 6:11
  Julie, you feel alive?
• 6:11
  I feel alive.
• 6:14
  What should we do now?
• 6:15
  I kind of get my get my grenade out of the middle console.
• 6:19
  Oh, OK, got it.
• 6:22
  We're going to give this bitch a convertible.
• 6:24
  All right.
• 6:25
  Hey, I love you.
• 6:26
  Hey, love you, too.
• 6:28
  Throw that thing.
• 6:31
  Oh, my God.
• 6:33
  I didn't roll down my window.
• 6:34
  I didn't roll up my window all the way.
• 6:37
  You just gave me a convertible.
• 6:39
  That's right.
• 6:42
  Julia, laugh.
• 6:44
  Yeah, we got her.
• 6:45
  Why does this keep happening to me?
• 6:49
  Everyone hates it whenever I react in a folksy way to the things that they're buying at the grocery store.
• 6:56
  Folksy?
• 6:57
  Foxy more like.
• 6:58
  Yeah.
• 6:59
  Good pun.
• 7:01
  Good pun.
• 7:01
  Thanks.
• 7:02
  High five.
• 7:04
  Julia, the next one's on you.
• 7:06
  What do you want to do?
• 7:06
  Okay.
• 7:07
  All right.
• 7:07
  Bring it home.
• 7:08
  Okay.
• 7:08
  No.
• 7:09
  All right.
• 7:10
  There was this girl in kindergarten.
• 7:12
  Yeah.
• 7:12
  Yeah.
• 7:12
  Yeah.
• 7:14
  She knew that I liked red blocks.
• 7:17
  Okay.
• 7:17
  And she didn't let me have all the red blocks.
• 7:20
  Oh my God, that was my daughter.
• 7:23
  There is a God.
• 7:24
  Let's get her.
• 7:25
  Okay, lady's choice, Julia.
• 7:27
  No, she's in the trunk right now.
• 7:30
  I don't know why I'm telling you this.
• 7:32
  Slow down a little so we can be neck and neck with the trunk.
• 7:35
  All right, here, there's a chest in the back.
• 7:37
  Grab whatever weapon you want.
• 7:38
  I've got them all.
• 7:40
  Katana, no, no.
• 7:41
  Oh, this is perfect.
• 7:47
  Dynamite with a plunger that looks like a block.
• 7:50
  Yes, Julia.
• 7:52
  Quick.
• 7:53
  I was saving that for your 16th birthday.
• 7:55
  Get closer, Dad.
• 7:56
  Get closer.
• 7:56
  Get closer.
• 7:57
  I got to string up the dynamite Hey Hey Hey you idiot Tina in the trunk Yeah Tina are you in the trunk
• 8:08
  Yeah, yeah. Remember the red blocks? Well, here's some red dynamite for you. Nice.
• 8:13
  Oh my God, it's you? Yeah, that's right. It's me.
• 8:17
  Oh, don't worry. This is going to come back to haunt me. Oh my.
• 8:22
  Sorry, Dad. I plunged without asking. You never have to ask. Not with me. God,
• 8:27
  That was so satisfying.
• 8:29
  Oh my God.
• 8:30
  I lost another child.
• 8:33
  Good.
• 8:34
  Yeah.
• 8:36
  Why does this keep happening to me?
• 8:39
  You know,
• 8:40
  I think,
• 8:41
  you know,
• 8:42
  cut to back at home.
• 8:49
  Um,
• 8:51
  I've had a little,
• 8:52
  I love time to calm down.
• 8:54
  I'm worried that
• 8:58
  When it's
• 8:59
  Your mom's weekend
• 9:01
  You might accidentally
• 9:04
  Let it slip
• 9:06
  The fun we had today
• 9:10
  Don't you worry about that dad
• 9:14
  As far as I'm concerned
• 9:16
  You're not my father anymore
• 9:18
  We're blood brothers
• 9:19
  Forged in Tina's blood
• 9:22
  Well I'm glad you said that Julia
• 9:24
  because I got you something.
• 9:26
  Oh, oh, cool.
• 9:27
  What is it?
• 9:28
  It's a magnet for your first kill.
• 9:31
  You know I love magnets.
• 9:33
  You know I love magnets.
• 9:34
  Ding.
• 9:35
  Oh, it's got just Tina's head.
• 9:40
  It's just Tina's head.
• 9:42
  I know, I only had a few minutes.
• 9:43
  Well, no, that's great
• 9:44
  because that was all that was left of her.
• 9:45
  That's left.
• 9:48
  Cut to the next weekend
• 9:50
  when it's the mom's turn.
• 9:52
  Oh, honey.
• 9:54
  I see you brought all your stuff.
• 9:55
  I'm so glad you're here.
• 9:58
  Oh, I love your little sleeping bag and all your little dolls.
• 10:05
  And oh, oh, look at that.
• 10:07
  You brought a magnet.
• 10:10
  Do that one more time, Mom.
• 10:13
  I dare you.
• 10:15
  What?
• 10:16
  Be folksy about my magnet one more time.
• 10:19
  I'm going to teach you a little trick Dad taught me.
• 10:21
  I was just saying you brought a cute little magnet.
• 10:28
  Get in the car and then drive me close.
• 10:35
  Scene.