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Feminist Movie Wednesday: My Big Fat Greek Wedding · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha and welcome you. Steffan
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: never told you a prediction of iHeartRadio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And welcome to the very first feminist movie Wednesday, as
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: it is being published on a Wednesday. But we are
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: opening up this year with a great throwback of one
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: of my favorites from college. Like my college roommates and
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I would quote this, I think I did that to
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: you while we were watching it together, which is the
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: classic my Big Fat Greek Wedding. Apparently, as any and
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I were talking about this, there has been two more
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: additions to this film line, and it just kind of
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: goes on with the family and what happens with them.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: It was released in two thousand and two, yes, while
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I was in college, and of course that meant that
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I had some good old memories with this as my
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: friends and I really loved this movie because it was
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: somewhat wholesome, and if y'all remember during my college years,
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I was very caught up in the Christian world. Talked
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: about the fact that I didn't watch TV at all
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: for a long time because you know sin, but this
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: was one of those that we allowed in our lives
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: because it was at least less cursing, less sex.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: So you did tell me a funny fact about.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: And we will come back to that because this is
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: a ridiculous part of my life and what we were
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: thinking of that time. And I also told you that
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: when I was in school, I was in social work
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: and in my program there was a Greek woman. She
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: we were all like, I guess twenties, early early twenties,
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: and she talked about the fact that this movie was
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: exactly like her life, and she was like, y'all, if
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: y'all need a testament about how accurate this is, it
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: really is as a Greek woman, I can tell you
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: it is on the nose, which is not surprising because
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: the writer and creator of this movie, Nia Verdallas, who
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: is the main character, is the writer of this movie.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: She actually did it as a play for a split second,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I think, because she didn't have any backing during that time,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: and it got picked up by Rita Wilson, who was
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Greek loving this play, and her and Tom Hanks, whose
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: own label PLAYTNE picked it up and did it as
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: one of their first movies that they produced. So there
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: you go. That's part of the movie. If you just said,
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: if you didn't know that far anyway, So let's do
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: a quick recap. We have the main character of Fetula
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: or Tula Portculis, played by again the writer of the
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: movie and creator, Nia Verdallas, who is a thirty year
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: old woman living with her parents and still very single
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: to her Greek parents Dismay played by Laine Kazan and
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: Michael Constantine. And now she puts it, this is a
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: failing as nice Greek women are supposed to be quote,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: do three things in life, marry Greek boys, make Greek babies,
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: and feed everyone until the day we die. So while
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: her family is large, loud and proud Greek family who
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: works hard in Chicago, and she does love all of them,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: but she wants something more. She wants to go to
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: college and do something different than working at the family
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: restaurants and having a lot of babies. And after an
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: awkward interaction with her future love interests played by Sex
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: and the City alum John Corbett, she had her makeover
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: both physically and mentally. Soon she was taking off those
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: silly glasses sarcasm and putting the contacts in and sitting
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: with the white girls at school who accepted her unlike
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: her childhood experience who all made fun of her. She
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: with her mother and her aunt come up with this
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: grift essentially to get her father to allow her to
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: start working at her aunt's travel agency. Well because you know,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: men are the head of the household and need to
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: be the one to suggest these things or is offensive,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: so obviously they had to work that out. Soon after
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: she starts working, she meets Ian Miller slash John Corbett
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: again and they are smitten and in love. Even though
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: her family is against her marrying a non Greek man,
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  Speaker 2: they finally give in after Ian converts to Greek Orthodoxism
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: and is baptized into the church so they can get
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: married there. Soon after, we have a very large, lavish wedding.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: They all celebrate being together because the Miller family's name
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: comes from the Greek word apples, as her father likes
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: to say, while their family name Portaclis means oranges, so
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: apples and oranges fruits together essentially, is what he says.
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  Speaker 2: And they live happily ever after, right next to her parents,
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: who have bought them a house as their wedding gift.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: So that is pretty much the whole entirety of the movie.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Very delightful, very easy watch Annie. I have to ask,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: because so Annie and I did watch this together, and
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: I was very delighted by the fact that we could
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: do that because I'm like, oh, yeah, this is gonna
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: be hilarious. Not only do we have old technology from
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: two thousand and two, because Tula gets to go to
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: school to do that specifically, and there was like this
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: whole like print for computer and tourism and she jumps
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: on board and Annie's like bursting out laughing at the
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: whole advertiser. It's so good.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: I loved it.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so we had all of that, so we
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: got to see it together. So what was your thoughts
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: on the movie. I really enjoyed it.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: It was I had a lot of It was pretty
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: comical in like looking back in it, because it does
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: have a lot of the tropes you know that we've
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: talked about, like the kind of movie makeover. We did
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: talk a lot about the religious aspects. It was like, no,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I would never do that. And of course I had
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: to talk about my fan fiction. That is, I have
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: two fan fiction that I've read that I love that
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: are based loosely on this movie.
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  Speaker 3: So I was thinking about.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: That and it was really fun to watch it with
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: you because you did have all the quotes you and
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: you would like do them with as the line came on,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: which is something I.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: Normally do and we watch something together. So that was
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: very fun. Yeah, I mean I thought it was a very.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Like you said, it was like a it was an easy,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: enjoyable watch, like everyone kind of worked out and it
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: was nice.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Exactly what's so funny? So again I was in my
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: religious heyday in this, and so watching this was quite
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: funny because we also understand this whole level of like
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: tradition and weddings and how it means such so much
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: for families sometimes. And my roommate and I at the
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: time loved quoting movies at each other. This was one
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: of them that we would quote all the time. We
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: would quote Bride and Prejudice, which is that Bollywood version
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: of Pride and Prejudice. We did that as well as
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Bend It like Beckham, and as well as any of
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: the Christopher guests. Mockumentaries, so it includes like Best in Show.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know if y'all know any of those, but
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: it's ridiculous, and it's all mockumentaries that are pretty much
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: ad lips. But anything like that. We would quote in
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Big Fat Greek. We my big fat Greek wedding was
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: up there, including like the scene where the dad gets
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: upset when she asked to go to college with his
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: why do you want to leave me? We used to
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: do that to each other all the time. Yeah, so
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: that was the thing that we did, the line I
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: have to tell you. So I did read a few
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: things about facts behind this movie Yanada YadA, which there's
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: not a lot but outside of like, yes, this is
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: actually based on her family, Verdalas actually would write things
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: down that her mom would say to put into the movie.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: That whole bit about her being the lamb in the
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: kitchen and the tiger in the bedroom was a line
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: that her mother had said to her. She was like,
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: I vomited a little bit in my mouth, and then
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: I wrote it down, like that's her quote to that,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: and then apparently that's the bit because I had laughed.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Because Aunt Vula, who was played by Andrea Martin, who
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: is an icon in herself and most of the roles
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: that she's ever played. She uh is Maria's sister, but
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: her light about the lump on her back is actually true.
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  Speaker 2: Like her aunt, her in real life has this lump
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: on her back but has her twin in it.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: Wow, that was pretty intense. I wasn't expecting that. I
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: have to say.
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  Speaker 2: It was so classic, like she's like, Okay, you're a family,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: let me tell you this family secret, and then being
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: of course, like not being not white people from America
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: be like what is happening? What is happening? Like they
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: are telling everything and sharing all the things, very like
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  Speaker 2: homie and like this is tradition and we're so proud.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: And then the white people were like, we don't have traditions.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: This is odd. Like they got like hammered, they got
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: real hammered, they got real hammered. Like those scenes actually
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: made me dizzy. I could like I can't watch the
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: scene when they would like be like spinning, I was
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: like yeah. But like also the fact that you know,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: she was like, oh you're Greek, you had a secretary
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: That was like and then going through every other like
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: ethnicity but realizing as like I think she said that
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: either being Guatemalan or something, You're like, what the I
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: understood that bit by the way, I understood that bit.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: But having all of that was super fun to see,
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: like come back to and talk about it, and then
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: like it holds pretty true to what I remember. There's
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: nothing on here that was shocking. I can't like I
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: was remembering, like, yeah, it's offensive because even then you're like,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: come and all the purpose of us have children. Of course,
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: like we know that that's a stereotype with a lot
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: of cultures, even my uncle, like my family, but like
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: the level of the stereotype was so heightened. But you know,
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: when it comes to ethnicities and being very proud of
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: your culture, that's that whole different level. A lot of
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: South Korean families are very much like that as well,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, but of course, being adopted, I don't
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: know those traditions. But again, there's not the other that
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: was like really out of like the realm of like,
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: oh my god, this is so badly offensive that I
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: was like, Okay, all right, is it It's still holds.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: It still holds as a movie that I'm like, you
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: should watch this and also realize how ridiculous it is.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was funny because I I've never seen it,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: but I do remember when it came out because it
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: was very popular, and I think I think that was
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: at the time when I would watch like Entertainment Tonight
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: or whatever, so I like knew about it, but for
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: some reason in my mind, I thought it was going
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: to be This sounds terrible, but its actually probably says
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: something about the time. I thought it was gonna be
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: about her losing a lot of weight so she could
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: fit in her wedding dress.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Oh really yeah, and then they were gonna go to Greece.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Like I had this idea of what it was, and
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: she'd meet this guy and then so elements of that
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: were there, and like the like she got rid of
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: for glasses you said, did her hair differently, But it
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: was just funny to me that I don't know where
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: that came from.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: I think it has happened. I think it does happened
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: later stuff like that. I did see an article talking
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: about the thinning of and I don't know who they're
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't read the article. I just saw the title,
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: so I can't absolutely verify that. But there's that conversation
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: and they do eventually go to Greece, so you're not off.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: It's just not this one.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: I got it all mixed up.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: It's been fair, but I mean I also think like
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: it was funny to watch because it did have some
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: things that I was like, I wouldn't say shocked vibe.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: I was like, wow, you're just gonna say that about.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Like the gender roles, which on I will talk about,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: but I do think, like it is true a lot
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: of us have experienced that, maybe not to that extent,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: maybe not with the cultural level perhaps, but like that
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: kind of what are you doing with your life, like
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: get married, go do this? So it was interesting to
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: kind of see the they just came out and said it.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Okay, they just I mean again, she says, this is
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: what she heard from her mother, so she just wrote
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: it all down. So essentially yeah, no, and then like
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: the background and we're gonna talk about that the mom
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: has of being there during war times and how how
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: much they struggled and really wanted to be different for
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: their family, which was like a beautiful reminder. Even though
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: it's a very lighthearted movie, it's come of like that
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: there's a lot of history there that we haven't dealt into.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: And I don't know much about the history myself, and
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: but like having that understanding they've been through some things,
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: the parents have. But yeah, let's get into the themes.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I guess we're probably gonna touch on all of that,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: which includes of course family. I think family would be
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: the number one outside of like finding your love, but
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: family is the top theme here, and of course traditional
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: roles is a big plot to this, which is she's
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: trying to break away from but she still is a
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: part of.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Right because if you haven't watched it, it starts with
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: her working at their family's restaurant, yes, and getting these
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: comments all the time.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Like you look old, like what are you doing?
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And then she feels this responsibility to stay there, and
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: that's sort of when the as you called it, the
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: grift comes in of her being able to convince the
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: father to go learn about the computer and get a
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: different job. But yeah, I mean that's definitely throughout the
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: movie we see that as her struggling with well, my family,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: family is so important to me, My family is so big,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: like my family want to prove you. It's always there
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: of this like idea of she doesn't want to hurt
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: her family and how does that work?
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: How do you make that work out?
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: Right? And then obviously you have the mom talking to
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: her about how to be a good wife and taking
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: care of everyone, because that's what she does in itself.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Even though she understands that, she also says to uh
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: Dola that you know, that's my side, that adventure side.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: You want to see things, you want to learn things,
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: that's my side, you know. So she understands that, but
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: she still plays her role as the matriarch, the mom
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: and being still very supportive of her daughter. So that
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: was lovely to see as well. Of course, we have
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: that hole in that traditional roles is the head of
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: the household comment, which that is big in Western culture. Obviously,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: when we talked about Christian trauma, Christian related trauma, and
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: religious trauma in itself, that was one of the biggest
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: points of why it has to be structured this way.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Is the head of the household, so it's not unusual
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: and it is not an unfamiliar to topic. Of course,
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: they do again make it a comedy by making sure
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: you understand that he thinks he's running things, but in
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: actuality he's not, which is a very big trope for
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: almost all American sitcoms.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yes, behind every great man, there's a great woman.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: There's a quote you used to.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Do, right, Oh, yeah, there is that quote. What we're
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: talking about where the girl I said in our social
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: work class. She would use the line men as the head,
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: but the women are the next, and turn it whichever
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: the way they please. Like that's she would say that,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: And I don't even know what reference, but she would
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: say that often, Like of course, with social work we
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: would talk about different cultures and ethnicities and why it's
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: important to like understand and like abide by that a
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: little bit. But like she would say that quote a lot.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know why that stands out for me, but
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: like my other friend would also say, this quote to
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: a lodge is a funny line because none of us
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: were dating any boys at the time, but I don't know,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: they came out a lot. Yeah, they use that.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: I do like the I would say.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: The women of Vula's family, like her aunt and her mom,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: often might like not agree with her, but then they'd
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: listen to her and they'd be like, okay, we'll help
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: you give you need, like they were on her side,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: even if at first they were like wait, I don't know, confused.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: And it didn't take the mother oftentimes to be the
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: one to talk reason to the husband for him to
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: understand or even at least accept, Yeah, things that she
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: wanted and then yeah, compromising for family. I think I
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: would put religion as a part of that. Because we did.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: We had this whole moment of like, wow, he converted
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: from being I think he said that he was Presbyterian to
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: being Greek Orthodox, which is a commitment, as we could
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: see on the movie.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was like, you know, I don't think
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I knew that. I don't think I do it. Maybe
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I've never met the right person.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Well, it's not something that you actually believe. I don't
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: know that's something that you would want to do. But again,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: for them, this was more like tradition than anything else
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: for him, and he wanted to respect that, even though
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: it was really disrespectful to the father when they originally met,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Like that whole point of them meeting was so tense,
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't know, even though I
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: know he's not wrong, but him being so disrespectful was
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: like But at the same time, they're thirty. He's like
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: mid thirties and she's thirty, So I was kind of like, Eh, okay,
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I get it, but h yeah, don't hurt doctor or
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: dad like that. That's awkward.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and we'll talk about that more later. But like
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: it was because it was sort of implied. There were
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: so many moments in this where Vulah would be like,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: it's just not going to work out.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I don't see why.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: My family, well he would say I don't see why,
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: and she'd be like my family, like that's got to
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: be a Greek man, and so he they're like, okay,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: well i'll do this. I'll convert. Because they wanted to
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: get married married in the church. It just I guess,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: to me, that seems like such a big thing, so
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I get it. But it also was like that's a lot. Yeah, yeah,
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: that's a lot for sure.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: But with that is the family expectations that we were
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: talking about, because not only did Doula have to do
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: deal with it herself because she wasn't expected to go
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: to get an education, that he didn't want her to
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: have an education because what if she does something like,
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: you know, carry drugs for somebody, which was ridiculous, like
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: everybody like what what? But then we do have parents
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: who do like go off the deep end about what's
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: going to happen. My parents. I was afraid of what
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: I was going to become, and it kind of happened.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: So there they I became a flaming liberal. Oh no,
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: but like that kind of level as well. But also
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: the brother had that deal of the expectations, not necessarily
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: like the gender roles. But he loved being an artist.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: He did this whole sketch and it was really beautiful
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: for a new menu, and his dad was completely dismissive,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: and so he was quickly shut down and ran away
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: until Tula, who had the courage to do something different,
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: and so he felt the courage, which still did not
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: like the So at the end of this comment like
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: that the wedding is happening, he decides that he's going
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: to be a painter. And he tells his oldest sister,
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: who has done everything to the tea as the parents
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: would expect. He even had like four rowdy boys all
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: the things, and she he was like, I'm gonna be
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: a painter, and she was like, great, you can start
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: by painting my fence. Like that level of condescension. So
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: you're like, well, there that is.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, I mean it was. His relationship with Tula
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: was very sweet. He was very protective. This is a
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: common show I'm sure in rom comms. Was definitely in
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: fan fiction. If like the shovel talk, the threats of murder.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: There was a lot of that going on, like if
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: you hurt her, I'll kill you. I'm kidding, but I
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: will kill you. It's a joke.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: It was very mob like.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I was like, I guess, greasily, I guess they're not
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: too far.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Well in the tradition, say.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: In that particular case, went along with them much more.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: I would have been much angry when they tricked me
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: to say something that wasn't Yeah, so they do do that. Yeah.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: They tricked him because he's trying to learn a little
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: bit of Greek, because he wants to be part of
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: his family very so they tried to get him to
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: give him comments like some some phrases, and it ended
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: up being like, uh, yeah, I have three testicles and
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: Greek and everybody laughs at him, you know, like a
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: few of those. That happened a few times. But same time,
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: you think he would learn his lesson. Don't trust the
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: brother in law.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Well, they then they brought in the other Joey Faton.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Joey Fatone. Yes, I did forget Joey Fatones first. I
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: don't know it's not the only one. Because I'm believe
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: he was in the sequels too. He was featured in this.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: It was quite a delight.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Well, he was also messing with me, Yes.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: As they should, Yes as they should, but odd as
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: they expected.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: Rather Yeah, but that's how he got tricked the second time.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Yes he did. But I will say too because I
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: don't really mention. We didn't really mention before about the
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: family Ian Miller's family, the Miller family, Rodney and Harriet,
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: or as the invitation puts, Rodney and Harry, who was
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: being completely sidelined by the Greek family. Again, that could
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: have been problems. And they are very like odd coupling,
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: like they don't know what to do with each other.
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: You do obviously get the ideal that the Miller family
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: are a little bit snobbish, very white and well to do.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: They had the expectations that Ian would be a lawyer,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: but he ended up being a teacher and they were
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: not too happy. But obviously he is very independent so
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: does not care for the pinions of his family and
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: pretty keeps it pretty succinct in their relationships like, nah,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: we're good, this is what's happening. Enjoy It almost gets
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: to the point though it does look like he enjoys
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: torturing his parents a little bit by bringing him like
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: it wasn't his fault. The gathering, the first family gathering
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: because it was intended to be the small parents only,
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: and then the Portacalas decided to bring the family, which
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: includes all the cousins, and she has like thirty something
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: cousins and then their family, so they all came through,
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: so not complete, but he was enjoying watching them spiral
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: and being uncomfortable, so it seemed.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, and they were just very awkward.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: They were very quiet, and I mean to their credit,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: if I had showed up at something I thought was
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: going to be small and then it was this, I
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: probably would have been a little And that's when they
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: got drunk, because if they kept being like have.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Some ouzoh cheers more and more and more. But then
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: you also pointed out like when the wedding actually does happen,
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: you have like her side of the aisle packed out,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: and yeah, I inside it.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Is quite fri Yeah what he talks about he has
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: two cousins or something, three cousins. It's like, okay, well
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: let me tell you. But yeah, but they do finally
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: come in and they get to be a part of
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: the family and they start enjoying the festivities going on,
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: the jokes, the fact that he calls her Harry because
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: it's all the invitation. It's quite cute, and they all
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: are family quote unquote, So hopefully we see that throughout.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: But yeah, it was obviously a very difference in the
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: two families and what they look like and how they
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: came together. Oh other fun fact, the ball dude that
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: plays Ian Miller's best friend her real life husband. Oh yeah,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I do that. I found that out a long tomic.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I was like, what, which I found funny? But yeah,
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: but her choice for the male lead was always going
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: to be John Corpett, like she always thought of him
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: as the main But moving on to the gender roles
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: obviously is a part of the theme. Yes, women get married,
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: have children and feed everyone, and that's kind of how
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: they keep it as is the entirety of even though again, yes,
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Doulah does break that a little bit by marry a
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: non Greek man as well as I only having one
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: child I believe, instead of ten children. I don't know
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: if she had. I don't think she has any more
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: in the sequels. Someone who's seen this you need to
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: let me know because I don't want to look it up.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: But and then she keeps, you know, telling her. At
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: the end credit we see her telling the daughter, yes,
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: you have to go to Greek school, which was one
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: of the big things that growing up from in Greek
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: school and learning Greek was important. And then her saying,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: but you can marry whoever you want. I'm like, is
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: that the reward?
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting?
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but again it does They do seem to
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: want to break it, but they don't truly break that, right.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, it is still very like get married, which
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: is perhaps to tell a child, but we all heard
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: it growing up. Yeah, it was just funny watching it
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: because we were talking about like, yeah, no, marriage was right,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: We're good. So it was interesting to watch, which are
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: a lot of wrongcoms are so it's not unique, but
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: like the focus on getting.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: Married, yes, and that was the entire ye of thing,
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I will say. And this, of course, you also have
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: the moments with the family where they're complaining, like he
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: literally brings his brother in law and or sister in
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: law and brother in law come into the restaurant so
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: they can have a conference about why Doula is not
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: married and what they need to do because they were
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: going to send her to Greece so she can find
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: a Greek man. And they're like, she doesn't want to go,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: and the responses she don't want to go, and then
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: like they go back and forth about that and they're like,
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: she'll be okay, and they look at her and she's
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: in her quote unquote frump girl era as she puts it,
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: just you know, glasses and sweaters. How dare you? They're like,
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: but you know, the very good news is she'll always
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: be around to take care of you, you know, all
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: these things. And then her brother Nicko, because they're all
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: nick and Nicholas, nick everything. One of them, quite funny,
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: comes to sit down. He's like, and I'll get married soon, pops.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, you have plenty of time and
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: gives him a kiss and that's kind of that level
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: of like he's only a few years younger than her,
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: but there's no expectation for a man because he can
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: have children whenever essentially, so he's fine, you know beyond
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: go out there have fun.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the family like conference thing was interesting and they
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: i mean they say it within earshot of her face.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: She can hear everything.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: Yes, I do think it's funny too that this had
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: so many of the like you know, her front era
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: and then she changes, uh, like to look better to
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: go like I told you, like if you play some
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: harror music behind this, this becomes a stalker movie because
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: she like hears he's a teacher and then decides to
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: go to school. But I thought she was gonna try
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: to take his class, but she didn't do that. She
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: going to but okay, but then he sees her through
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: the window and gets beat up by an old lady
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: and she's very like It has a lot of those like.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: Very rom comedy.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, trups, Yes, I have a bit of them, like
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: oh the accident. She's so goofy that she goes to
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: get him a pamphlet and gets shrun back by her
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: headset which is hooked to her computer. Quite funny her
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: phone rather And then we also had the cousins. I
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: thought this was a funny take the cousins Nikki and Angelo,
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: who is the kids of Aunt Vula, coming in and
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: they're arguing about who's having to do what and who
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: does more work, and you know Joey Fatone plane Angelo
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: is like, your hair looks flat today, and she's like,
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: bite me. In the day. She hits him and then
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: he whinds and I'm like, ma, She's like, oh, my baby. Essentially,
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: she goes be a lady to Nicki and I was
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: like what, they're just like fighting, and then she takes
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: up for the young man, which is like, yeah, I
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: feel like that is very specific to a lot of
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I don't think it happened to my family, but I
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: do feel like my youngest brother, who was still a
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: little bit older than me, got a baby like he
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: was the baby, even to the point that my older
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: siblings called him the baby because like it didn't matter
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: that I existed, he was the baby because it was
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: the youngest boy compared to me. I felt that.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, for sure, and that kind of like pressure
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: for women to be like more sure. It was also
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: funny because Nikki was the one who showed up and
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: told to like, we've been seeing you making out.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: I got back to Meat and then to her and
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: then to her.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Now everybody knows you kind of gossiping between family, right right.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: She's like, they got you, hello, mister pottery class, which
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: was the lie she gave when she would go on days.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: And then she was also the one that took over
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: the wedding. So speaking of I think the wedding traditions
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: and the wedding in itself was a big theme because
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: it was the giant uh climax of the movie. Essentially,
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: we have the Yettie dress as she's like I'm a
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: snow monster. At the end, we have the pimple scene.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Of course you have to have like the pimple scene,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: but this only accentuated the windex which is the father's
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: solution to everything, which I believe was based on her
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: father for real, for real. Uh yeah, that's about right.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Then we have the fact that the whole wedding is
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: taken over by family. Her cousin Nikki is the one
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: that picked out the dress, her sister is the one
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: that made the invitations against her will essentially and bothable
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: the dress was bought by her also her family. None
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: of this, none of this was her plan, but she
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: went along with it. And then the whole like women
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: getting her ready having the conversation again. This is where
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: that line of like women in the bedrooms, lambs in
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: the kitchen, and tigers in the bedrooms came in, and
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: then we have like all of the cousins coming in
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: doing the different makeup, the shoes, that whole like moment.
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: And then when the wedding happens, the spitting on the bride,
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: which is like Miller family, was like, what the to
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: be fair? Because I don't know about this tradition either.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: I would have been shocked to. I was like, didn't
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: mad at her? What's happening?
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: Apparently it was to keep the devil.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, something about keep away though evil or something, and
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: it's maybe. And again I think like this is very
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: very Greek, and if we have any Greek listeners, please
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: let us know what types of traditions truly still exists
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: and if this exists still in like because I find
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: that fascinating anyway, but I found it interesting. Part of
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: the wedding tradition was also meeting of the families, and
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: we already kind of talked about them sharing secrets with
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: each other. The bunt cake, which was also a line
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: that we love to do bunt cake and then filling
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: the hole with a potted flower still one of my
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: favorite moments. I'm like, that's about right.
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So that.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: Because in my fan fiction, those were the two I
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: remembered that very well. Was the cake as a hole
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: in it. They didn't understand this bunt cake. And then
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: the vegetarian scene where Ian is it's revealed he used
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: vegetarian and to those families.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Like and Vula is especially upset, and Ula is like,
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: no meat again. She is the like the comedic relief
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: in the entirety of the film, honestly, but she's like,
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: no meats. No, and she's like obviously trying to figure
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: this out, getting kind of upset. And then he was like,
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. I'll make liamb look.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: It is one of the big trips. It is very cute.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: The whole level of also him being the only child.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: We don't really see it, but the cousins are actually
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: really shocked and a little bit of Paul that he's
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: an only child, because they were like, does he have
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: brothers to be set up right? And then when she
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: says that, she's like, we're like what what the only
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: child again? A part of that of moment. And then
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: I thought it was interesting because of the wedding traditions.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: It happened when talked about it with the dating, but
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: like also asking for hand in marriage. I don't know
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: if that happens, but I'm assuming if he was upset
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: about her dating without permission, that he would also need permission. Oh,
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: he does complain about that. He does complain about that,
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: in which she's in the living room hearing, and that's
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: when she's like, maybe we shouldn't get married, or maybe
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: we should run away. Is because he is loudly complaining.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: The father is loudly complaining that not only did he
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: date her without permission, he's not asked him for her
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: hand in marriage, has not talked to them at all.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: And then he's like, you know, I don't know anything
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: about his family. This is not good. Essentially, they're all
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: very upset by what is happening and how modern and
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: somewhat western. This relationship was American Western relationship. It was,
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: so it is interesting to see that as well, and
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: obviously a big theme of something that he has to
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: get past poor Costos. Yes, get past that.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: Yes, the father, Yeah, yeah, we talked about that.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: Uh, my dad did this. He asked my mom's family
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: for permission. It's when he would tell the story later
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: to me, it sounded strange to me. As a kid,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: and he so he was so scared. Apparently he like
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: gestured with his hands very like exuberantly, and he got
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: his like hand something from his like clothing stuck in
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: the fan and it spun around and it caused chaos.
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: So that's a that's a rom com scene right there.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: That'd be so and it somehow like smacks the dad
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: in the head and hairs a tupe and it flies off,
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: that would be the scene.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And then he was he said like the My
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: mom's mom was immediately like yes, but he was. Her
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: dad was like, I don't know about you and he,
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: my dad, They are definitely from very different circumstances. She
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: was pretty well off and he was not. I don't
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: know if that was at play, but I just know,
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: like I always thought that. When you tell me that,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, say, yeah, I had to ask.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think it was strange to me because again,
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: I was raised in a very southern traditional home and
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: it just sounded sweet, like it sounded romantic. I love
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: my father, my adoptive father, my father, so very very much.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: He is someone who and I are like psychologically and
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: emotionally similar when it comes to being very analytical, being
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: a romantic without being too romantic type of thing. We
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: have very sentimental ideals about things, and it's hard for
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: us to let go let go of some of those
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: sentimental things. So and he's also a very kind, kind man,
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: and like, I couldn't imagine him not approving of who
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: I was with, even if it went against his beliefs.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: I don't think he could ever say it out loud,
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: and I don't think he would ever push back. I
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: think he would have to rethink some things. But the
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: ideal that he would say you can't come here, you're
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: not welcome here, or any of that seems impossible to me. Again,
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: that's not necessarily true. I could be completely over positive
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: about this, like over more hopeful than I should be,
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: but like even still, like when he didn't know if
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: I was heterosexual or homosexual, like he kept it kind
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: of loose, Like there was a moment I think he
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: thought I had a girlfriend, but he still asked me
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: about her, and so I'm like, you know, that makes
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: me think, And he did admit later he's like, I
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: wasn't for sure, but I didn't want to ask. I
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: was gonna wait till you told me. Type of thing.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: And she wasn't a girlfriend. She was just a good
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: friend of mine. But like I wasn't dating anyone, and
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: the only people are talking about with my close girlfriends.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: And he was just like, and you're, you know, late twenties,
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: early thirties, still single. They they get concerned, which is ridiculous,
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: which is the trope in itself as a player in
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: this movie, because she was a thirtieth single and they're like,
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: you're get old, you need to get married. But yeah,
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: so like all of those things. But because of that
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: type of man, I would think that it could be
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: sweet that my father would have a relationship with my
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: partner that that well, that they would talk about it first.
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, it is really odd to
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: ask permission for me Like that's because I think my
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: dad would be like he would be honored by that,
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: like that he would find that I was like, yes,
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: that's this is very nice. But I think he also
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: made up with like if Samantha wants to you better ask. Yeah.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: I mean I think that the thing is it could
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: be it can be very sweet, as you're saying, it
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: can be more of a kind of like they're not
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: going to tell you no, right, but it's like just
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: a nice gesture. Yeah, I think some for for me
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: at least, it can be hard to just so much
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: of our our western marriage culture is very right, like
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: the basically you're asking for the man, the husband, the father.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: For the woman that you can marry as man.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: Like, it's just it's a transfer of ownership the original
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: intent as we know this, and there's this level of
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: like there was a bargaining about like what can I
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: pay or what can you pay me to take your daughter?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Or what can I pay you to have your daughter?
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: And we know that, so that's definitely a thing. When
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: it became romanticized, it's like, oh, right, that could be sweet,
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: but there's that level and then like I've had you know,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: family members who's X now X did that and they
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: were like, oh, this is so sweet, and like that
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: didn't end up very well, did he? No? And he
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: had promised to take care of him for you like
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: it Like it's a good in theory in some ways,
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: but yeah, it's also a reminder of like I can
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: also understand why this could be offensive for some women.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: You're like, hell, no, he doesn't know me. And we
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: also know like a lot of parents and are not
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: the best parents, and things happen, and to involve them
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: at all and feel like they have to have some
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: say so it's more offensive. So mm hmm. There's a
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: level of course, this is not what's happening here. We
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: know this, But I do think Doula probably also things
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: in her mind, I don't want I want this to
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: be because I want y'all to be happy. Yeah, but
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: it's not something that was necessary for her. Ad meant
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: anything sentimentally to her.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I do think that's a good point you
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: brought up, Like, because there's a whole scene where she
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: gets done with the wedding and they're her and Ian
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: are in the car going to the reception and she
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: like takes off the makeup and she takes off the veil.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: That her family put on her.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: Like, so the wedding was much more for her family,
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: and it was for her as well, but it was
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: much more of like, this is for the family. But
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: then they had that moment of like I'm going to
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: take some of this off, yeah, and then.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: She says do we have to go?
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, having a great time, but it did feel sort
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: of a like, Okay, this is more for me now. Yeah,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: And I also wanted to bring up because one of
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: the most funny, bizarre things you said to me was
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: when he asked Ian asked her to marry him. They
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: had just had sex, and you had a funny ane ghost.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So again, this is one of those moments of
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: like we are an our romantic era in college, thinking
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: that I would be someone's wife, have children. I hope
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: that I could have children, because honestly, that was always
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: in the back of my head, like that might not
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: be possible for me, as well as the fact that
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: I would be the perfect Christian wife, which is kind
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: of that same layer being the perfect Greek wife. And
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: then that whole like moment of like, oh, we're gonna
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: have the family thing and yes, I see this and
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: the father being a part of this. But my friend
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: and I, the same one that we would quote these
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: things to each other, laughed and was like, oh my god.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: So he comes out of nowhere and proposes. You know,
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: it has that ring underneath the bed, which by the way,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: is still a hold. Everything's like, why do you have
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: it underneath the bed? A weird setup, but like that
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: was just like the first thing I had thought but
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: it becomes I'm like, can you imagine, so this is
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: the friend and I talking. Can you imagine if like
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: when your children ask you, oh, tell us how you
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: got engaged, and you have to be like, yeah, so
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: we had sex and then he just blopped out a
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: ring from under the bed and said, marry me, love you.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Just like the level of like.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: The shame of having to try to hide that, I'm like,
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: oh my god, what the hell was I thinking that
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: this was a problem instead of just being like, oh,
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: howcky you there's they're you know, so intimated, so close,
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: which should be celebrated that they're that close that they
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: know how much they love each other after such an
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: intimate moment. But in my head, I was like sex bad,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, kind of me before marriage. Oh my god.
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: So yeah, that was something that's always sticked in my
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: in my mind after the fact, now that I'm here
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: and I'm like I want to get married. Yeah, we're fine,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: we're good.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: So that was something that I thought was hilarious and
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: I will never like, it will just be there. It's
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: part of my shame of like, yeah, I'm glad I've
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: grown up a little bit, you.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: Know, we all we had those things.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: I mean even I was like, wow, he's doing it
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: right now, you know a lot.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: But that's the thing is like there's also this level
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: of expectation and TikTok oh. It's been quite funny to
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: watch on like the videos and the amount of things
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: that people will do and how wild a proposal can get.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: That I'm like, you know, this is one of those
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: things where she's like absolutely in the adulthood of like, yes,
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: I get to get married. I get to be with
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: the person I love for the rest of my life
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: type of moment instead of being like, what the hell,
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: I'm not even dressed, bro, and you're asking me to
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: marry you.
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, there's something very nice about it because
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: it was just like a moment that they shared and
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: they were happy together, and they were she was very very.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: Happy to say yes, Like it was like I didn't
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: have that pressure on it.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: And I think I'm a big person who's like you
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: talk about whoever you're with about it. It doesn't have
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: to be like you're ruining the surprise. But I once
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: had a conversation I think it was three guys and me,
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: and I was saying like, I don't this was you know,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to get married, but I was like
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: I would hate a big, extravagant public proposal. And they
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: were so like what it was funny to see because
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: you know, men, it's not like they escape these tropes
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: in this like socialization either, and they were all like,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: by god, that's what you're supposed to do us that
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: they love. I was like, some people, yes, other people know.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: Other people hate that.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: You can ride likelihood gonna get from me, just me
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: walking away because I don't want to be in front
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: of everyone anyway. And then you all staring at me,
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: and if especially the no conversation, no mention of marriage ever,
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: and then you pop it up the rain, You're like,
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: it's coming on. I've seen several awkward TikTok videos of
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: dudes doing this big elaborate thing like uh like pop
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: up dancers everywhere like flash flash mobbing and then doing
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: that and the girl go, can we talk about this
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: at home? Like that?
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's the.
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: Thing is a lot of times it kind of feels
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: like a trap.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: If you do that's that other conversation that that is
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: actually an a beast of tactic and a trap because
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: you want to embarrass them into saying yes.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if it's this big public thing and everybody's.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: Like, oh no, no, don't do it, don't do it.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like the same thing with like some
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: of the big over the top uh gender reveals and
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: then you don't. Apparently people who don't get the gender
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: that they want really acting out and you're like, why
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: are you doing this? Yeah, there's so many there's so
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: many problems with this in general, but like, yeah, big
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: open gender ofvills, Yeah, I want to take those through.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, talk it out, talk it out.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: Get out. I'll tell you though. You can see a
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: lot of red flags from those big moments.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: That's true.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: Hopefully you'll read those signs. But dang, dang, but yeah,
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: so my big Factork wedding. I'm so glad you have
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: finally finally watched this during this time. What was so
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: funny is after we streamed this, there was several you know,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: suggestion for you and another movie popped up that I
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: was like, have you never seen this movie? We may
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: have to watch this next year.
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I am having a great time. I do, like I said,
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: I understand my fan friction better now.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: Yes, I was gonna say, did you go I can
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: read it?
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: I did, and if this was a different podcast, I
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: would go into some thoughts about it. But I do
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: understand it better now, and it is really really interesting
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: because I would say in both of them, because again
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: they are too that I've read, the big family is
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: like really really caring and really great, and the small
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: family is borderline abusive, which it wasn't necessarily in this
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: at all, but like because you and I think both
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: have hang ups about family, not saying anything, but like
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: the big family doesn't necessarily equal like better to me, right,
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: So it was just sort of like, huh okay.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Interestingly enough, my partner's family is a
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: smaller family because they don't have like partners and they
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: don't have children as where my family is a giant
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: family because not only do they have partners and children,
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: but those children schild has children as well, and then
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: new partners have come in with their children. So yeah,
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: big families are not necessarily better.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: But I do think that's what we've been taught in
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: a lot of things.
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, especially in families who are wont to grow their population. Yeah,
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: if that makes.
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: Sense, Yes, yes, I mean that can look a lot
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: of different ways.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm trying to think about because like obviously the
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: Greek family, Greek babies, Greek families get bigger and bigger,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: you know that kind of ideas, like you extend the line,
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: the family line, right.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: Because it can't be very specific to like if you're
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: super proud of your family, family name, families can be
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: like that. But I don't know, it was just interesting
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: to me to read it because I've had this thought
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: lately about my Star Wars thoughts where there is I
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: have seen that a lot, and I'm like, that's just
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: such a I haven't realized how big of it's true.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: That is.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: It's like the big family, not even necessarily because I
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: feel like the foun family thing has become really popular lately,
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: but this isn't even necessarily that. So I'm like, well,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: I'm fan fish, this is definitely not.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Gotcha.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So I don't know, I was just interesting interest,
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: but I did. I had fun.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: Watching it, Yes, and I'm looking forward to whatever You're
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: trying to, uh cover some ground of the rom coms.
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: I've missed, well, the class coming back to the Twilight saga,
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: so yes, from that That's very funny to me because
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: technically that was more my It's true, but this this
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: old elder millennial slash the nexter. I still enjoyed a
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: vampire movie.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: Hell yeah, I mean mostly romance.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: I just missed out on a bunch of those things,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: but also a bunch of the like nineties classic feminist
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: movies like yuh Fried, Green Tomatoes and Lead It their
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Own and Elm and Louise.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: So you're helping me out.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, I got this, We got this together.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, we do, we do well. I look forward to it.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: But in the meantime, listeners, if you have any thoughts
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: about this, please let us know. You can email us
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: a Stephanie and mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, or
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok at stuff I Never told you. We
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: have a tea public store, and we have a book
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks as
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: always to our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya,
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: and our contributor Joey.
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: Thank you, and thanks to you for listening.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Steffone Ever Told You is production of iHeartRadio for More
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: podcast from My Heart Radio. You can check out the
• 49:36
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• 49:37
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