Latest / Karl and Crew / Fighting the Roommate Temptation in Marriage with Dan Seaborn & Speaking Truth with Compassion Without Enabling Harm with Abdu Murray
Transcript
- 0:00S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond. It's Carl
- 0:06S1: and crew. Come as you are an experienced guide, overcome
- 0:10S1: what seems impossible and live as you never imagined delivering
- 0:16S1: the truth daily.
- 0:17S2: If it were possible to have every worldly gain available.
- 0:21S2: And you're forfeiting your soul. There's no amount of gain
- 0:25S2: that would make it worth it.
- 0:26S3: Our own way never ever works. Because it's apart from
- 0:29S3: the life source, which is God.
- 0:32S4: For me, growing up, love was always conditional and can
- 0:36S4: be taken from you. Christ's love can't. And he went
- 0:39S4: to the cross with my mind and my heart that night.
- 0:44S1: Now from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl
- 0:48S1: and crew.
- 0:50S3: Yeah. Travel in the New York or something for a
- 0:52S3: Cubs game. Hopefully something like that.
- 0:54S5: Got rained out last night.
- 0:55S3: I know that's the second day in a row it
- 0:57S3: got rained out. We haven't had baseball. When you're in
- 1:00S3: the summer, you need baseball because it's like the only
- 1:03S3: sport right now. The World Cup is going. So that's nice,
- 1:05S3: but it's not like America plays every day.
- 1:07S6: USA. USA.
- 1:10S5: We're playing turkey on Thursday.
- 1:12S3: Yeah. And that game doesn't actually really count.
- 1:14S5: Doesn't mean anything.
- 1:15S3: Because we're already locked into first place in our, you know,
- 1:18S3: little group stage.
- 1:19S5: So we're already on the bench. Let him get his
- 1:21S5: calf all healed up. Yeah. Is he hurt? Yeah. He
- 1:25S5: didn't play in the second game.
- 1:26S3: Oh wow. And we still, you know won pretty decisively.
- 1:30S5: We've got I don't know a lot about soccer. I
- 1:33S5: mean I get the basics, but I'm starting to learn strategy.
- 1:37S5: I don't watch well, I watch the USA. That's all I.
- 1:42S3: Watch. Sure.
- 1:43S5: So it's but it's a phenomenal sport. I just love.
- 1:47S3: It. Excellent.
- 1:48S5: I love it, by the way, if we've got a
- 1:50S5: soccer expert listening right now and I mean, you really
- 1:54S5: know your stuff. You're a coach. You've been in it
- 1:56S5: for a lot of years. I want you to call
- 1:58S5: in and give our boom crew the analysis of whether
- 2:01S5: or not you think the USA can keep moving. You know,
- 2:05S5: I'm not. I'm not saying can we win it even
- 2:07S5: though some are saying it could happen. I know it's
- 2:11S5: a long shot.
- 2:12S3: It's a it's always a long shot. There's a lot
- 2:13S3: of teams out there, you know, who's, uh, who's confirmed
- 2:16S3: really well known up about soccer is our phone screener, Leo. Uh,
- 2:21S3: it's his favorite sport. And yesterday he was lamenting to
- 2:24S3: me that he made it through two days of not
- 2:26S3: seeing any games, which means he watches all of the games,
- 2:29S3: no matter the country.
- 2:31S5: Well, get Leo in here.
- 2:32S3: Leo! Come here.
- 2:34S5: Leo! Get him on air.
- 2:35S3: Okay. Hold on. I'll get Ahold of him.
- 2:36S5: Well, let me you get Ahold of him. I'm gonna
- 2:38S5: tell the boom crew what's going on here. So if
- 2:39S5: you missed the first two hours. Abdu Murray, Dan Seaborn two. Whoa.
- 2:45S5: Great interviews. And what we're dealing with this week is
- 2:49S5: overcoming temptation in any given area of expertise. So we
- 2:54S5: are what we're offering up to you is looking at
- 2:57S5: all these areas of expertise going, all right, what's the
- 2:59S5: temptation around it? And how do we get around that
- 3:02S5: temptation so that we don't get sucked away from exercising
- 3:07S5: those areas of discipline in our life? So text the
- 3:11S5: word show to 805 557898, text show to 805 557898
- 3:19S5: and we'll get that resource off to you. We got
- 3:22S5: Leo in the house here. Leo, thanks for coming on. Mike.
- 3:24S5: You hadn't planned on this one, had you, man?
- 3:26S7: Not at all.
- 3:28S5: Hey. All right, so what's going on with USA soccer,
- 3:30S5: or do we have a good club?
- 3:32S7: I would say we definitely have a good team. It's solid.
- 3:35S7: I love the strategy. Uh, we put a lot of pressure.
- 3:40S7: Everyone goes up and as soon as we lose the ball,
- 3:43S7: we put immense pressure on the team, which, uh, makes
- 3:48S7: him lose the ball really fast and we gain it,
- 3:50S7: and then there's just ready to attack.
- 3:54S5: Yeah, it's it's interesting. Some teams hold back. I was amazed.
- 3:59S5: I didn't know this, but like the team that we beat, Australia,
- 4:04S5: they don't have a lot of ball possession time. Their
- 4:07S5: whole angle is they wait for you to attack, get
- 4:10S5: a cough up and then they go the length of
- 4:12S5: the field and and score. That's that's their hope. But America,
- 4:16S5: we're on the attack a lot, aren't we?
- 4:19S7: Yes, yes. The main idea is just putting immense pressure.
- 4:23S3: And is it like an energy conservation thing that people
- 4:27S3: wouldn't do that? Or are they just trying to, like,
- 4:29S3: save energy for the whole 90 minutes?
- 4:32S7: Some people do that, um, for saving energy, but also it's,
- 4:37S7: it's just to play it safe, okay.
- 4:39S3: To play, to not have a big mistake. Yes. Okay.
- 4:42S5: And well, it's unnerving when you go on the attack
- 4:45S5: and if you lose the ball, the problem with the
- 4:47S5: attack is that sometimes you, you get you get a
- 4:50S5: guy going the whole field. Right. And that can be
- 4:52S5: the danger in that.
- 4:54S7: Yeah. Like the US, They they're risking it a lot.
- 4:58S7: If they win against a high team and they lose
- 5:01S7: the ball and the ball and the team has great passes.
- 5:05S7: It's a it's a big risk.
- 5:07S5: Especially against a guy like Messi who will mess you up.
- 5:12S5: This guy scored five goals in the last two games guys.
- 5:16S3: That's insane. And he's 38.
- 5:18S5: He's got the most World Cup goals of anyone. He's
- 5:21S5: got 18. Yeah man. Uh, what do you think? Can, uh,
- 5:27S5: can America go deep? Leo, by the way, thanks for
- 5:30S5: popping in here. Poor guy hadn't planned on coming on here,
- 5:33S5: but can we go deep in this thing? You know,
- 5:36S5: the turkey's kind of a that's kind of a. That
- 5:38S5: doesn't count for anything, does it? That game with Turkey
- 5:41S5: or does it?
- 5:41S7: It technically does not. We end up in first place
- 5:44S7: no matter what, which is great because that means we
- 5:47S7: go against a team in second place or third place
- 5:51S7: in a whole different group. Uh, but I am confident
- 5:54S7: that we can make it up to the semi-finals.
- 5:57S3: Okay. Semi-Finals. How many teams is. Uh, that's. I guess
- 6:01S3: that's 14.
- 6:01S5: 16 or 8.
- 6:04S3: Semi-Finals is four teams left right.
- 6:06S5: Semi-Finals is four teams.
- 6:08S3: Yeah. Because. Yeah. Oh you're saying we can make it
- 6:10S3: to the Final Four at least. Yes. That's good.
- 6:12S5: That's beautiful Leo. Yeah. I heard that the way this
- 6:15S5: this grouping may drop. We may get two teams that
- 6:18S5: we can handle right.
- 6:20S3: Once we get into it.
- 6:21S7: Yeah, I'm really excited. We might go against Mexico. There's
- 6:24S7: a big chance of going against Mexico.
- 6:25S5: Well, why would you be excited about that?
- 6:27S3: I thought you liked Mexico as well.
- 6:29S7: I'm, uh, I would say I'm really patriotic for the US.
- 6:34S7: But you were born where? I was born in the US.
- 6:36S7: In Arizona? Yes.
- 6:38S5: In Arizona. Okay. And who do you who do you
- 6:40S5: pull for other than the US? Do you pull for Mexico?
- 6:43S7: I pull for Mexico as well.
- 6:44S5: Okay.
- 6:45S7: It's just a big rivalry. It's, uh.
- 6:47S3: Oh, okay.
- 6:48S7: Exciting games.
- 6:49S5: Oh, though that would be a crazy game.
- 6:51S3: That would be a good game.
- 6:52S5: Because you know what everybody wants to knock off USA. USA.
- 6:56S5: Australia wanted us bad. They really wanted us. Leo. They
- 7:00S5: wanted us.
- 7:01S3: But we weren't close.
- 7:02S5: We took him down. Leo. Yeah, we took him down. Hey, Leo.
- 7:07S5: Thanks for coming on air, man. Um, have you played
- 7:10S5: a little bit of soccer yourself or football?
- 7:12S7: Yes, I played, uh, throughout high school and a little semi-professional.
- 7:18S5: You did?
- 7:19S7: Yes.
- 7:20S3: I didn't know that.
- 7:21S5: Come on, we need to get a video of his
- 7:23S5: footwork and put it up on air.
- 7:24S3: That'd be fun.
- 7:25S5: This is the guy that answers your calls.
- 7:27S3: I don't have a.
- 7:27S5: Ball in.
- 7:28S3: Here, but.
- 7:29S5: That's great. Leo. Thanks for ducking in here, man. That's Leo,
- 7:32S5: good heart. Dude, man. He loves the Lord with his
- 7:35S5: whole heart. It's one of the coolest things, isn't it? Jonathan.
- 7:37S3: Oh, yeah. It's the best. I love Leo. Genuine guy. Great,
- 7:40S3: great guy to talk to and a lot of fun.
- 7:43S3: As you can see, he's got great football knowledge, football knowledge.
- 7:47S5: Football. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Okay. Um, boy, we're tackling
- 7:53S5: temptation here this whole week, guys. Let me give you
- 7:55S5: a quick shot. Really important thing. Yesterday we talked about
- 8:00S5: truth as the weapon against temptation. And we know that's true.
- 8:07S5: It's the only offensive weapon of war. And I'm not
- 8:09S5: going to go into the full explanation of Hagar, the
- 8:13S5: Hebrew word for meditate, nor rhema, the Greek word that's
- 8:17S5: used 70 times in the New Testament. Suffice it to say,
- 8:21S5: if you didn't get the truth belonged yesterday, get it today.
- 8:25S5: Because getting armed with truth is the only offensive weapon
- 8:28S5: of war we have for temptation. And I want you
- 8:31S5: to get this. I think it will encourage you massively.
- 8:36S5: Just text the word truth to 805 5578981 word truth
- 8:42S5: to 800 555, 78, 98. So it's an interesting thing
- 8:48S5: because we find here in Hebrews four about Jesus himself
- 8:53S5: and he. And the whole context of Hebrews four is
- 8:55S5: about entering the rest. Now, Israel got that because it's like, man,
- 9:01S5: let's get away from Pharaoh. Let's get away from all
- 9:03S5: the enemies. And even in the writer of Hebrews says,
- 9:07S5: even Joshua couldn't enter us into rest, which makes sense
- 9:12S5: because it is not a destination. It's a spiritual location.
- 9:20S5: It's a place at which your heart is rest no
- 9:22S5: matter what your circumstances. But then it goes on to say,
- 9:27S5: and I love this in verse 14 about entering this rest.
- 9:30S5: Since then, we have this great high priest who has
- 9:32S5: passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let
- 9:35S5: us hold fast our confession, for we do not have
- 9:40S5: a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. Wow!
- 9:46S5: But one who in every respect has been tempted As
- 9:52S5: we are, yet without sin. Okay, it doesn't stop there.
- 9:56S5: There's another verse. Let us then, with confidence, draw near
- 10:02S5: to the throne of grace. We have Greg Dempster on
- 10:05S5: here talking about this verse. He calls it the throne of.
- 10:07S5: He will he will do it for you. And that's
- 10:10S5: exactly what it is. Let us draw near to the
- 10:14S5: throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find
- 10:17S5: grace to help in the time, in our time of need.
- 10:20S5: Here's the point. When you find yourself tempted, get armed
- 10:25S5: with the offensive weapon of war, which is the Word
- 10:27S5: of God, and draw near to the throne room of.
- 10:33S5: I will do it for you. Some of you have
- 10:36S5: been trying to fight temptation in your own strength, and
- 10:40S5: it's time to turn this thing around today. And you
- 10:42S5: might ask, well, Carl, how do I draw near to
- 10:44S5: the throne of grace? I will say this the greatest
- 10:48S5: way to do this is in quiet. You can't do
- 10:51S5: it on the fly. The throne room of Grace is
- 10:54S5: entered and it might be busy all around you. But
- 10:57S5: quiet your heart. Get to a quiet place and say, Jesus,
- 11:03S5: you were tempted in every way, but you not only
- 11:07S5: died for me, you filled me with your grace. And
- 11:10S5: your grace is available today, not just for saving me.
- 11:14S5: Titus 211 and 12, but for training me to renounce
- 11:18S5: ungodliness and worldly passions. See how grace comes together there.
- 11:22S5: Titus 211 and 12 and Hebrews four. And so God, I,
- 11:28S5: I need your power because I can't overcome this temptation today.
- 11:35S5: And when you do that, and when you're armed with
- 11:38S5: the truth of God's Word, that's a lethal combination to
- 11:42S5: deal a blow to Satan today. So draw near to
- 11:45S5: the throne of. He will do it for you.
- 11:48S3: It's exciting. He was tempted in every way, yet didn't sin.
- 11:53S3: That's a good power to tap into if you're struggling
- 11:55S3: with temptation.
- 11:57S5: Yeah. So. So draw near to this throne room of
- 12:00S5: I will do it for you.
- 12:02S3: Yes. How awesome to be today.
- 12:05S5: Hang on guys.
- 12:06S1: It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
- 12:10S5: In the history of our world, you can look through
- 12:12S5: the pages of Scripture. My goodness. You can. You can
- 12:15S5: look at recent history. You can look at some of
- 12:18S5: the things that have happened on our soil. And you
- 12:21S5: can find who some really ugly situations in this world.
- 12:26S5: I'm talking about regimes that are so oppressive, it's hard
- 12:30S5: to get your mind around it. With me right now
- 12:33S5: is Lana Silk. Lana is a great woman of God,
- 12:37S5: and she has a heart as big as a bucket
- 12:39S5: for her people of Iran. And Lana, I think I
- 12:44S5: want to begin with a little ear warning here today,
- 12:47S5: because I want to go and really catch up what's
- 12:50S5: going on kind of in the life of Iranian people
- 12:54S5: and what they're up against. So little ear warning now.
- 12:57S5: Boom crew. We're going to get really vulnerable. We aren't
- 13:01S5: going to get crazy here, but we're going to get
- 13:03S5: vulnerable about what's going on. Lana first. Good to have
- 13:05S5: you with me this morning. And, um, we'll get into
- 13:09S5: current day, but let's just look at the political religious
- 13:12S5: landscape of Iran. How how tough is it not just
- 13:15S5: for believers, but for everyone?
- 13:17S8: Good morning Carl. Yes, it is really, really tough in Iran.
- 13:22S8: It's it's a violence. You know, if you do anything
- 13:27S8: that might irk or, uh, anger any kind of Iranian
- 13:33S8: government official or police or the Basij, the militia, then
- 13:38S8: you can't be sure how they'll react. They might arrest you.
- 13:41S8: They might beat you up. They might just kill you
- 13:43S8: right there on the street. Uh, just a couple of
- 13:46S8: weeks ago, we had one of our pastors, Um, a
- 13:49S8: husband and wife team driving just through a regular street.
- 13:54S8: A couple of passengers in the car with them. Police
- 13:57S8: stopped the car and asked the woman to hand over
- 13:59S8: her phone. She's a church pastor, and she had information
- 14:03S8: on her phone that would really put her life at risk.
- 14:06S8: And she asked just innocently like, why? You know, why
- 14:09S8: do you need my phone? Have I violated any traffic laws?
- 14:12S8: You know what's happened here? And he didn't even answer
- 14:14S8: a question. He hit her so hard in the face
- 14:16S8: that he broke her jaw and all her teeth.
- 14:18S9: Good gracious.
- 14:19S8: So that's the kind of situation that people are living in.
- 14:22S5: Oh, Lana. Um, it's something that was very disturbing. That's
- 14:26S5: why we put a little ear warning here. You know,
- 14:29S5: the sha. I mean, he wasn't a man of nobility.
- 14:32S5: This guy was skimming off the the the reserves, the
- 14:37S5: monies of Iranians for years, getting Uber wealthy. I mean,
- 14:41S5: the Shah of Iran was not a noble man. But
- 14:44S5: when you look at what took over after he was deposed.
- 14:48S5: One of the things that I think a lot of
- 14:50S5: people no need to know is the marrying age under
- 14:54S5: the Shah was 18 years old, pretty Western that way,
- 14:58S5: and the Western society was there. Women had freedom to
- 15:01S5: dress as they like, but boy, things have changed. Explain
- 15:08S5: what's going on in marriage and even some of the
- 15:12S5: sexual abuse of very young girls.
- 15:14S8: Yes, the legal age for marriage has dropped. It's 12
- 15:18S8: for girls and 15 for boys. This is marriage without
- 15:21S8: parental consent. If you have your parental consent. It's extremely fluid.
- 15:27S8: It kind of depends on what the officials are going
- 15:28S8: to do in that situation. I have seen photographs of
- 15:32S8: girls as young as five years old, standing with dolls
- 15:34S8: in their hands with wedding dresses on, you know, ready
- 15:38S8: for a life of abuse. Really, there's no other way
- 15:40S8: to put it. And we discussed last time about this
- 15:43S8: law of temporary marriage in Iran that exists where they
- 15:47S8: can take a female of any age and take, uh,
- 15:52S8: this child baby to the local Muslim clerics and the
- 15:58S8: leaders of their local mosques and have a marriage, temporary marriage, blessed.
- 16:02S8: It's called a Sierra. And that temporary marriage could be
- 16:05S8: anything from hours to days or weeks. And of course,
- 16:09S8: that's basically just legalizing rape. And now we have a
- 16:12S8: whole generation of children that have been born out of
- 16:15S8: these quote unquote marriages. They're called Sierra Nevadas. So, you know,
- 16:19S8: child of a temporary marriage. And they're not wanted. They're not.
- 16:23S8: They can't be legally registered. They have no, they have
- 16:26S8: absolutely no life or future. And most of them end
- 16:28S8: up as street children, uh, just begging for existence. And
- 16:32S8: then these children are then vulnerable to organ harvesting, multiple
- 16:35S8: cases of children just showing up, bodies showing up in
- 16:40S8: deserts with their organs removed, or children just waking up
- 16:44S8: in on the streets, in the cities with searing pain
- 16:48S8: down their side. And they've been drugged and their organs
- 16:50S8: have been removed, and they wake up to that. So
- 16:53S8: it's it's horrific. Karl. It really is.
- 16:56S5: Lana. I didn't know some of these things. You know,
- 16:59S5: this is not just Christian persecution. Then this whole nation
- 17:03S5: is under this oppression right now.
- 17:05S8: Oh, absolutely. The entire country. I mean, it really wouldn't
- 17:09S8: be fair to make it just about Christians. Of course,
- 17:11S8: as Christians we have additional complications because the faith is
- 17:15S8: illegal and the Christians are persecuted for their faith. But
- 17:18S8: people are persecuted for any kind of behavior that would
- 17:22S8: violate what is constituted Sharia law and and as well
- 17:26S8: as Sharia law. A acceptance and allegiance to the Islamic
- 17:30S8: regime of Iran. A lot of people who were arrested
- 17:33S8: through January were arrested under the guise of threat to
- 17:36S8: national security and tortured and abused and raped. And some
- 17:40S8: were killed and others released with incredible trauma, some begging
- 17:44S8: for death on surgeons beds after what they'd endured. Others
- 17:48S8: turning to drugs. And it is a nation that is traumatized.
- 17:52S8: It really is.
- 17:55S5: Okay. Um. It makes the pursuit of freeing up oil
- 18:00S5: in the Hermosa Strait, Strait of Hormuz and, uh, even
- 18:05S5: getting nuclear dust. That's just part of the story. And I,
- 18:10S5: I know that we had told the Iranian people help
- 18:13S5: is on the way. I'm not sure this is done yet.
- 18:15S5: Some of this some of this strategy, it appears, looks
- 18:19S5: to be centered around midterm elections, if you know what
- 18:23S5: I mean. But yeah, I mean, some of this stuff
- 18:26S5: is just crazy. You know what I mean? It's like, wow,
- 18:29S5: we can't we can't afford to we can't afford to
- 18:32S5: lose midterm elections. So we're going to kind of loosen
- 18:34S5: things up here. A little bit of our pressure on Iran.
- 18:37S5: This is a dicey situation. How are you praying? I mean,
- 18:42S5: you're intimately involved in knowledgeable of what's going on in Iran.
- 18:45S5: How do you get up and pray in the morning?
- 18:47S5: How do you pray, Lana?
- 18:49S10: Uh, Carl, that's a great question.
- 18:51S8: I often have to ask the Lord to guide me
- 18:54S8: in how to pray and to get my focus back
- 18:56S8: on him and all the things I know about him.
- 18:58S8: You know, his love, his power, his victory, um, his plans,
- 19:03S8: his good purposes. Because, you know, on earthly terms, it
- 19:06S8: is a very hopeless situation. You know, I was speaking
- 19:09S8: to one of our pastors just yesterday and she was
- 19:12S8: saying there's just a heaviness in the spirit of people
- 19:15S8: in the country, people. They're upset, they're tired, they're discouraged.
- 19:18S8: And these, as believers, are the emotions that we need
- 19:21S8: to battle against. And we read it through the Psalms
- 19:23S8: over and over again. When the psalmist is feeling these
- 19:26S8: exact emotions and he's speaking to himself, reminding himself that
- 19:29S8: God is still in charge, that God is good, reminding
- 19:31S8: himself that God is what God has already done. And really,
- 19:34S8: that's how we pray as a church, reminding ourselves of
- 19:36S8: God's plans and purposes for us, what he has already
- 19:39S8: done in our lives, and choosing to continue to believe
- 19:43S8: that he. That he will act. And Iran's future is good.
- 19:47S5: Yeah, I love your faith and we're believing with you. I,
- 19:52S5: I am praying my bride and I pray God overthrow
- 19:56S5: that regime. Please bring in someone that's going to loosen
- 19:59S5: the chains of these people. And we don't even need
- 20:03S5: a Christ follower. My goodness, just someone with a little
- 20:07S5: bit of common sense and sanity and a, just a
- 20:10S5: a scant bit of being an image bearer of God,
- 20:13S5: where the glory of God just shines through a crack
- 20:17S5: to release the hold on the beautiful people of Iran. Boom! Crew,
- 20:21S5: I want you to hear me. Lana has got a
- 20:23S5: team of people, an exceptional team of people around the world, actually,
- 20:28S5: who are doing everything they can to assist followers of Jesus.
- 20:33S5: And I want you to at least check out this website.
- 20:36S5: If the spirit of God's calling you to. There's prayer guides,
- 20:39S5: everything you need right there. And, um, boy, they'd be
- 20:42S5: grateful for your participation at any level. If you text
- 20:46S5: the word transform to 805, five, five, 78, 98, that
- 20:51S5: would be a great resource to grab transform to. 800 555, 78, 98.
- 21:01S1: Your spiritual pit stop to keep you going in the race.
- 21:05S1: You're listening to Carl and crew.
- 21:07S5: Well, here we are day two of Temptation week. And
- 21:11S5: here's what we're dealing with. I'm bringing on guests and
- 21:16S5: we're having him tackle topics that are very relevant to
- 21:20S5: our day to day living, not least of which is
- 21:22S5: marriage and family. My goodness. And Dan Seaborn has just
- 21:27S5: been a phenomenal resource here for you. Boom crew and hundreds,
- 21:32S5: if not thousands of you have already tapped into his website.
- 21:35S5: We're going to have a link for that coming up here,
- 21:37S5: but I want to build some context around this. Dan
- 21:40S5: founded Winning at Home. It's an organization that produces media resources.
- 21:46S5: They host special events, and their goal is to encourage
- 21:49S5: marriages and families to really get victory over darkness. Because
- 21:53S5: we live in a real battle zone here, especially around temptation.
- 21:58S5: So I want to jump in the deep end with
- 22:00S5: you here, Dan. Thanks for being with us. Uh, the
- 22:03S5: temptation to live as glorified roommates is real and glorified roommates.
- 22:11S5: Way I contextualize it is that we share bank accounts,
- 22:18S5: occasional sex, and maybe even vacations a couple times a year.
- 22:23S5: But man, that pop and sizzle and joy. We've we've
- 22:28S5: stopped fighting, maybe even in marriage, but we don't have
- 22:32S5: that intimacy. What is the temptation that pulls us away
- 22:36S5: from fighting for marriage In a way that's really going
- 22:41S5: to honor God.
- 22:42S11: Dan well, I think what's happened for many people in
- 22:45S11: that circumstance is you're describing is when you try, when
- 22:50S11: you do fight, when you do go to battle a
- 22:52S11: little bit and you end up what you feel like
- 22:55S11: is in a darker place after the conversation. In other words,
- 22:58S11: there's not a willingness, there's not an openness. There's not
- 23:00S11: a gift of being willing to allow your spouse just
- 23:03S11: to share what they're struggling with or working through. Instead,
- 23:07S11: it feels like you're not good enough. And so you
- 23:10S11: attack back. And after a few times of trying, it's
- 23:13S11: pretty common for us just to give up. So for me,
- 23:16S11: it's more of an understanding that, okay, if we can
- 23:19S11: normalize this and help everybody see that we all live
- 23:22S11: in this spot, we all face temptations, we all face
- 23:24S11: temptations to walk away from our marriages. It's common. I mean,
- 23:27S11: the Bible very clearly says this is common to man
- 23:31S11: and to woman. And so I think when we normalize
- 23:34S11: it and just say, oh, you're struggling with that too. Great. Well,
- 23:37S11: here's a couple of tips and a couple of pops
- 23:39S11: that might help you to refreshing things in your relationship.
- 23:42S5: Yeah, I would venture to say right now in our
- 23:44S5: listening audience, there are tens of thousands of people that
- 23:47S5: have heard the temptation of Satan whispering something like this.
- 23:52S5: You've tried before. You're never going to have him or
- 23:55S5: her understand what your need is here. So just grin
- 23:58S5: and bear it until you get to glory. How in
- 24:01S5: the world do you fight that temptation, number one? But
- 24:04S5: what's a path forward? Number two?
- 24:06S11: Well, number one, I would say if you're feeling that today, uh,
- 24:10S11: without going into crazy, lots of details, just make sure
- 24:14S11: your number one communicated to your spouse. So many spouses
- 24:17S11: are unaware that their spouse is feeling that or going
- 24:20S11: through that. And I say to couples all the time,
- 24:23S11: in fact, I'll just give you my personal illustration. I
- 24:25S11: will sometimes look at Jane and say, hey, babe, I'm
- 24:28S11: not really needing to discuss this a lot, but I
- 24:30S11: need to make you aware of something I'm really struggling with,
- 24:33S11: and I'll name the thing that I'm struggling with. I say,
- 24:35S11: because if I don't make you aware of it, it's
- 24:37S11: really not fair that I'm frustrated with you, that you're
- 24:40S11: not helping me with it, because the only way you
- 24:42S11: can help me with it is if you know about it.
- 24:44S11: So I think number one is just having a good conversation.
- 24:47S11: And then if you're the kind of couple that can't
- 24:49S11: have those conversations without getting elevated or your track record
- 24:53S11: is we go into a big war zone, then go
- 24:56S11: meet with a pastor, go meet with a counselor. Don't
- 24:58S11: be afraid to pull a third party in because you
- 25:00S11: nailed it. You nailed it, Carl. I believe the average listener.
- 25:04S11: I'm going to go way out on a limb. The
- 25:06S11: average listener right now listening to us is struggling with
- 25:09S11: an element of this and simply don't want to admit it,
- 25:12S11: because then it looks like you're not perfect, and maybe
- 25:15S11: we should just pull the shroud off of that thing
- 25:17S11: and we'll just tell you you're not perfect. So the
- 25:20S11: quicker you accept that and begin to deal with it,
- 25:22S11: the better for your marriage relationship.
- 25:23S5: You know, probably the wisest counsel that my bride ever received,
- 25:27S5: and we've benefited from it mightily, is to sit down
- 25:31S5: face to face and do this regularly where we share, oh,
- 25:37S5: this is what's on my heart. And the other person
- 25:40S5: listens and even rehearses back is what I'm hearing. You
- 25:44S5: know what? You made a passing comment. I want to
- 25:46S5: go back to something, though, before we even get into
- 25:48S5: this one. I think more often than not, we think
- 25:51S5: we've communicated well with someone when we when they really
- 25:55S5: haven't heard us, they might have heard some barking or
- 25:57S5: some snipping or some alluding to, but they've never really
- 26:00S5: heard our heart on the matter. Let's begin there. Right, Dan?
- 26:03S11: Oh for sure. That's true for me. Let me just
- 26:05S11: give you the personal illustration. So I would tell you,
- 26:08S11: up until about five years ago, anytime Jane tried to
- 26:12S11: share that type of stuff with me, I really wasn't listening.
- 26:15S11: I was preparing my response. I had my counterattack or
- 26:18S11: my counter response working on in my mind, etc. things
- 26:22S11: she's saying. And about five years ago, the Lord just
- 26:25S11: laid on my heart. You know, listen to her and
- 26:28S11: don't respond other than thanks for sharing. So actually hear
- 26:32S11: her words. And I would tell you once I opened
- 26:35S11: my heart to hearing her heart and hearing her words.
- 26:39S11: It really changed things in me. So for some of
- 26:41S11: you who are a bit defensive, that's your personality. You
- 26:45S11: tend to respond quickly. I would just encourage you the
- 26:47S11: next time your spouse is trying to say something to you.
- 26:50S11: I'll just give you a couple of quick words here.
- 26:52S11: ZIP it, zip it up, zip your mouth closed and
- 26:56S11: let them have a chance to talk and actually try
- 26:59S11: to hear what they're saying.
- 27:01S12: Oh.
- 27:02S5: So all right, so we're back at the little sit
- 27:06S5: down and we're listening. What do you do. Because and
- 27:10S5: this goes both ways. This is an equal opportunity employer
- 27:13S5: here it seems where the one spouse they don't want
- 27:18S5: to hear, they don't want to listen. And and it
- 27:22S5: sounds so empty to go cite Paul who says, oh,
- 27:25S5: if you got an unbelieving spouse, hang in there with them.
- 27:27S5: You might be, you know, you might turn them on
- 27:29S5: to Jesus. And it could be an unbelieving spouse, which
- 27:32S5: makes it really hard because they don't have the Spirit
- 27:35S5: of God inside them. So what do you do if
- 27:38S5: you feel like, man, every time I open my mouth,
- 27:41S5: let's just role play it. Every time I open my
- 27:43S5: mouth and I tell, let's go. We always go after guys.
- 27:47S5: Let's go after young ladies. I opened my mouth and
- 27:49S5: I say something to my wife. She's got a reason.
- 27:51S5: She's got an excuse. She doesn't want to hear it.
- 27:53S5: She starts crying as a defense mechanism. You know what
- 27:56S5: I'm saying, Dan? Where do you go from there?
- 27:59S11: Well, number one, um, I would take you to scripture
- 28:02S11: at this point that says in first Corinthians 1013, we
- 28:06S11: all know the passage. Probably many of us could recite it.
- 28:08S11: There's no temptation taken you, but such as is common
- 28:11S11: to man. So when you're in that spot, don't sit
- 28:13S11: there and go, oh, I'm the only one dealing with this.
- 28:16S11: You just don't listen. Don't go there. Don't go there.
- 28:19S11: Because the second part of the verse says he will
- 28:21S11: provide a way out. Now, it might not be the
- 28:25S11: way you're wanting because sitting there, you're going, the only
- 28:28S11: way out of this is for her to hear my point. No, no,
- 28:31S11: there is another option. It may not be the option
- 28:33S11: you want, won't. But I'm going to grow and deepen,
- 28:38S11: even if she chooses not to. And yep, this is uncomfortable.
- 28:42S11: I don't like it. I don't want to be in
- 28:44S11: this spot. But God, if you're wanting to teach me
- 28:47S11: something about humility here, if you're willing to grow me,
- 28:52S11: if you're wanting to humble me to a level so
- 28:54S11: that I understand something else, and you're using my actual
- 28:57S11: marriage to do it, um, today I'm willing to receive that.
- 29:01S11: And I'm not telling you that's easy. But for some
- 29:03S11: of you listening today, God's wanting to take you. Listen.
- 29:06S11: Listen carefully to a level your spouse isn't capable of.
- 29:10S11: Because the bottom line is, some of you are married
- 29:13S11: to a spouse who will never be capable of knowing
- 29:16S11: the depths of Jesus and His love that you're capable
- 29:19S11: of learning. And I don't want you to finish life
- 29:22S11: going well. I'm going to settle right here where my
- 29:24S11: spouse is. They don't want to go deeper. I'm not
- 29:25S11: going deeper. Mhm, mhm. You go deeper because God's using
- 29:30S11: you for some life lessons and things and influences that
- 29:33S11: you can't see. You have a temporary vision because you're
- 29:36S11: viewing your marriage is the most important thing in the Bible.
- 29:39S11: Scripture never says that marriage is something that refines us,
- 29:42S11: defines us, helps us grow in our relationship with Christ.
- 29:45S11: But it's not our identity. And in our culture, we
- 29:49S11: worship to marriage. We put it on a pedestal, get
- 29:52S11: that marriage off the pedestal, put Jesus on the pedestal
- 29:55S11: and say to him, if you need to humble me
- 29:58S11: to teach me something, even if it's painful, Lord, today
- 30:01S11: I'm going to do my best to receive it. That's
- 30:03S11: what the verse means when it says he will provide
- 30:06S11: a way out.
- 30:07S5: Man, I love it. Dan Seaborn, my guest. So since
- 30:09S5: we're going deep, let's go deeper here. Dan, it strikes
- 30:13S5: me that for some people, the wisest path forward is
- 30:17S5: let's let's just imagine I go to someone. They won't
- 30:20S5: listen to me, won't listen to me. The the temptation
- 30:24S5: is to say, well, then I'm not going to listen
- 30:26S5: to them. It could be that our willingness to listen
- 30:29S5: and apply what someone else says, and I'm not talking
- 30:33S5: about putting up with physical or emotional abuse. That's not
- 30:36S5: what I'm talking about here. But listening to what someone
- 30:40S5: else says could be a spiritual catalyst to kick start
- 30:45S5: our spouse, to listening to what we have to say.
- 30:47S5: Is that fair?
- 30:48S11: Absolutely. And I would tell you that as you begin
- 30:52S11: to deepen in God and you actually take some of
- 30:54S11: the pressure off your spouse that you're putting on them
- 30:56S11: through these conversations, when they honestly, when they see, whoa, whoa,
- 31:01S11: you're doing good. Wow. You've deepened. Whoa, you, you aren't
- 31:05S11: even the same person. There's something really attractive about that.
- 31:09S11: And they're actually going to want to know what that is.
- 31:12S11: And again, it may be they never get to your
- 31:14S11: level of depth, but you might be the trigger to
- 31:17S11: cause them to go to a next level of depth
- 31:20S11: in their own life and their own relationship with Christ.
- 31:23S11: So I just think we underestimate what the depth of
- 31:26S11: the Lord does in our lives. And again, let's remember
- 31:30S11: if we are having ideas and thoughts in our head
- 31:33S11: that go, well, you won me, I won you back
- 31:35S11: are you treat me that way. I'm going to treat
- 31:37S11: you this way. That's the world's response. That's the world's response.
- 31:40S11: So we should be going, okay, what would Jesus do
- 31:43S11: in this spot? Oh, he would he would be willing
- 31:46S11: to die here. He would be willing to surrender here. Mhm.
- 31:49S11: And I'm telling y'all, I don't like it either. I
- 31:52S11: would much rather I tell my wife all the time, hey, babe,
- 31:55S11: if we go to a court of law, I'm winning
- 31:57S11: this case. I'm just telling you, I'm winning this case. Okay?
- 32:01S11: What's the point? You win the case, who cares? You
- 32:04S11: didn't win as a couple. You actually lost in the
- 32:07S11: long run. So I think the big picture is what
- 32:09S11: we have to keep in mind.
- 32:10S5: You know, I think something has crept into Christian. I'm
- 32:15S5: using that in air quotes because it may not be
- 32:17S5: discipleship relationships, but Christian relationships. And we we are borrowing
- 32:26S5: the world's philosophy. And it's this meet me halfway, baby.
- 32:31S5: You know, you come out the 50 yard line, I'll
- 32:33S5: meet you. 50 yard line, center field in the middle
- 32:35S5: of the field. We'll have intimacy there. And I've said
- 32:38S5: this a time or two. We always overestimate how far
- 32:41S5: we've traveled and underestimate how far the other person's traveled.
- 32:44S5: How do we resist that temptation to have a 5050 relationship? Dan.
- 32:51S11: I think because we are wise enough as believers in
- 32:55S11: the Lord to step back and realize, okay, that's what
- 32:58S11: I want to do. But man, I'm sure glad Jesus
- 33:01S11: didn't put the 5050 on me for me to earn salvation,
- 33:05S11: you know? So when we get the right perspective, again,
- 33:08S11: it's surrender. But when we get the right perspective, we
- 33:11S11: realize it's with Jesus 100 to 0. And I I'm
- 33:16S11: supposed to do my best to emulate him. So I
- 33:18S11: gotta try to at least move my 50 to 51
- 33:21S11: so I can get going the right way.
- 33:23S5: I love it. Dan Seaborn, our guest, uh, I think
- 33:28S5: I've talked with you about this before. Final thought. The
- 33:31S5: fuel in the engine room for this stuff. You can't
- 33:35S5: do this on the fly. This is deep disciplines of
- 33:38S5: the heart, isn't it, Dan?
- 33:40S11: It is. It's time with the Lord. I know when
- 33:42S11: I'm when I'm burning out or not doing well. It's
- 33:45S11: probably most times because I'm thinking my way or I
- 33:50S11: am battling inside. What do I need to do to
- 33:52S11: get Jane to see this, etc. and it just it
- 33:55S11: confuses me. It confounds me, it gets me tired, it
- 33:57S11: creates chaos. And when I go and read the word,
- 34:01S11: there comes that peace. There comes that stuff that he
- 34:03S11: says he'll give us. It'll pass all understanding. So more
- 34:07S11: time with the word, more time with the Lord. And
- 34:09S11: you know, I work my life backwards sometimes, Karl. I'll go, okay,
- 34:14S11: when I'm 80 or 90, am I going to look
- 34:16S11: back and go, yeah, I'm really glad I fought all
- 34:18S11: these times. No, no, I'm going to be like, what's
- 34:21S11: wrong with you clowns? Slow down a little bit, man.
- 34:23S11: Get get your focus. Get focused in the right direction.
- 34:26S11: That helps me a lot. So getting perspective is a
- 34:29S11: big deal. But hey, I acknowledge there's plenty of you
- 34:32S11: listening today. You're incredibly frustrated in your marriage relationship. And
- 34:36S11: I'm just saying to you, okay, well, you can keep
- 34:38S11: battling on the way you're doing it and thinking you're
- 34:40S11: going to prove your point, but the quicker you yield
- 34:43S11: and surrender and grow in Christ, the better your marriage
- 34:46S11: is actually going to be beautiful.
- 34:49S5: I have never seen such a one stop shop for
- 34:53S5: marriage and family. And I mean this. Dan has brought
- 34:56S5: around him a cadre of phenomenal counselors, life coaches. And
- 35:02S5: this is not endless therapy. Look at your navel and
- 35:05S5: contemplate it for four years kind of counselors or coaches.
- 35:09S5: These are why on the road, this is what scripture says.
- 35:12S5: Let's see if we can walk this out and work
- 35:14S5: this out in our lives. You need some extra help.
- 35:17S5: You need someone to come in and give you a
- 35:20S5: little shot in the arm, shot in the soul. We
- 35:22S5: got it for you. Text the word winning. Winning to 28005557898.
- 35:30S5: No joking. Don't miss this opportunity right now. These are
- 35:35S5: some of the best freedom fighters he's got in this
- 35:38S5: great team of winning at home. Text the word winning
- 35:42S5: to 805 5578981 word winning 805 5578, 98.
- 35:51S1: Your shot of hope to help you through the day.
- 35:54S1: This is Carl and Crew on Moody Radio.
- 35:58S5: What? We're bringing in experts all week long and we're
- 36:01S5: asking the question, what is the temptation around this area
- 36:05S5: of expertise when you think about embracing the truth? We've
- 36:10S5: got one key man of God who has been an
- 36:13S5: incredible guest here, Abdu Murray. He's with me right now. Abdu.
- 36:18S5: It's so good to have you with us today. Uh,
- 36:21S5: I want to wade into this with a controversial statement.
- 36:24S5: There's this term out there, toxic empathy. And I think
- 36:28S5: to be fair with that characterization, I think it's the.
- 36:32S5: The proposition is that there's an empathy that almost becomes enabling.
- 36:38S5: So is that a correct definition of toxic empathy, as
- 36:42S5: you hear it bandied about out there?
- 36:45S13: Yeah. And I think that this is important because we
- 36:48S13: really need to understand the difference between toxic empathy and
- 36:52S13: this idea of empathy itself, because oftentimes it's we're being
- 36:56S13: accused of saying that empathy is itself toxic. No, this
- 37:00S13: is it's very important to understand that there's a form
- 37:02S13: of empathy which can be viewed as toxic, not only
- 37:05S13: to the empathizer, the one who's doing the empathy, the empathizing,
- 37:09S13: but to the person you're being empathetic towards because you're
- 37:13S13: just saying, I feel what you feel. And I'm affirming
- 37:16S13: in some sense that what you feel or that which
- 37:18S13: you are doing, and I'm not actually helping you. I
- 37:21S13: remember there was a video, an often maligned video that
- 37:25S13: was taken out of context of Charlie Kirk, for example,
- 37:27S13: where he said he hated this word empathy. And then
- 37:29S13: he cut it off like that. But the rest of
- 37:31S13: the video where he says, rather, I prefer the term compassion.
- 37:36S13: And what he says about compassion is that you feel
- 37:39S13: something with someone, but then you do something about their
- 37:42S13: predicament or their situation. And I thought that was great
- 37:46S13: because what that showed was the idea that empathy can
- 37:49S13: just be, I feel what you feel, and I'm going
- 37:51S13: to enable whatever you want to do. Rather, compassion is saying,
- 37:55S13: I understand you're in a predicament, but the best way
- 37:58S13: to do this is to say either a I should
- 38:00S13: affirm you because you're feeling something that should be helped
- 38:04S13: in some way that affirms what you're feeling. Or I
- 38:07S13: have the the true love for you to say, I
- 38:10S13: care about something that you care about, but you are
- 38:13S13: going about it the wrong way. And so my compassion
- 38:16S13: leads me to want to help you by saying you're
- 38:19S13: doing things wrong, or there's something you're not thinking, that's right.
- 38:22S13: And we need to we need to fix that because
- 38:24S13: otherwise you'll never actually break out of this cycle. So
- 38:27S13: that's what I think. Toxic empathy is. It is an
- 38:30S13: empathy that feels for someone in such a way that
- 38:33S13: it affirms even the things they're doing to themselves that
- 38:35S13: are bad, and then also whipsaws back on you because
- 38:39S13: that bad thing will affect you and other people.
- 38:41S5: Yeah. Really profound thoughts there. Abdu Murray. My guest right now, speaker, author,
- 38:46S5: attorney who specializes in addressing issues where religious faith and
- 38:51S5: emerging cultural trends intersect and in fact, collide. I'm going
- 38:55S5: to give you a link to a website here. That's
- 38:57S5: one of the best sites you're going to find for
- 38:59S5: this guy's no doubt about it. That's coming up in
- 39:01S5: just a moment. Abdu, this is this is an important
- 39:05S5: topic because I've felt for a long time when it
- 39:09S5: comes to truth, we fall off two sides. I love
- 39:13S5: to call it the high ridge. I've probably done this
- 39:15S5: with you many times, but it's a metaphor that I
- 39:17S5: had from my hiking days in Alaska, where you get
- 39:20S5: up on this high ridge and if you fall to
- 39:22S5: one side, you can die. If you fall the other side,
- 39:24S5: you wish you would have. And it seems like the.
- 39:28S5: The church I'm using big, broad terms right now has
- 39:32S5: aired in two ways. Either we have this toxic empathy
- 39:37S5: which is not willing to tell the truth, and we
- 39:41S5: kind of let it go, or we go to the
- 39:43S5: other side and we speak truth in such a manner
- 39:46S5: that it is so off putting. I call it angry evangelicalism.
- 39:50S5: How do we stay on this high ridge of really
- 39:53S5: compassionate truth telling?
- 39:56S13: And I think this is, um, one of the biggest
- 39:59S13: temptations I think, in society now is to, uh, do
- 40:03S13: one of those two extremes. We're in a society now
- 40:05S13: where extreme is rewarded. It's rewarded on social media. It's
- 40:09S13: rewarded in our social interactions where you can't have any
- 40:13S13: such thing as subtlety and or nuance and trying to
- 40:16S13: approach a topic or even a person's issues. Um, so
- 40:19S13: you have to either be completely affirming or totally anti
- 40:23S13: whatever that person happens to be saying or doing, and
- 40:26S13: the Bible calls us to do something that's right in
- 40:28S13: the middle of that high ridge. And I think the
- 40:31S13: first thing I think in order to help us avoid
- 40:33S13: that is to is two things. One is to bathe
- 40:36S13: our our day in prayer in the beginning, especially about
- 40:39S13: those we're going to interact with or the issues we're
- 40:41S13: going to come across because the world is competing for
- 40:45S13: our attention and it rewards outrage. It rewards with likes
- 40:49S13: and clicks and attaboys. And here, let me get you
- 40:52S13: in front of this or say this thing and, uh,
- 40:55S13: you know, all that kind of stuff with outrage rather,
- 40:58S13: how do we approach something and we say, you know what? No,
- 41:01S13: we're going to approach something with subtlety. Even if we
- 41:04S13: outrage the people who want us to be outraged by
- 41:07S13: our lack of outrage. Right? That's okay. But we look
- 41:11S13: so we bathe it in prayer. How are they going
- 41:13S13: to honor Christ and honor the people who are made
- 41:15S13: in God's image? And then we actually look to Christ's
- 41:17S13: image through his interaction with people. And so you see
- 41:21S13: Jesus walking this high ridge all the time. And it's
- 41:24S13: not always easy. The apostle Paul did it. The apostle
- 41:27S13: Peter did it. You see it throughout the scriptures, um,
- 41:30S13: where people had to at some point walk this narrow
- 41:34S13: road where they're saying, look, I'm not going to let
- 41:36S13: you stay where you are. I'm going to challenge you.
- 41:39S13: And sometimes that level of challenge has to be based
- 41:41S13: on the person you're talking to. So if Jesus talked
- 41:44S13: to somebody with a lot of power and a lot
- 41:46S13: of authority, then he spoke with power and authority to
- 41:50S13: that person to challenge them in the ways that they're
- 41:52S13: not doing something right. And sometimes it was biting, but
- 41:55S13: it wasn't humiliating. That's the important thing. He didn't humiliate someone, rather,
- 42:00S13: he taught them something. And it was at some point
- 42:03S13: up to them to actually embrace that. The rich young
- 42:05S13: ruler is a great example. Uh, he comes to him
- 42:08S13: and to Jesus and says, what must I do to
- 42:09S13: attain eternal life? And he knows that Jesus is a
- 42:11S13: good teacher. That's why he keeps calling him good teacher,
- 42:14S13: good master. And then Jesus actually says, And Jesus, loving him,
- 42:19S13: said to him, you lack one thing. So all you
- 42:23S13: have and follow me now. Jesus didn't say, everyone needs
- 42:26S13: to sell all they have and follow me in that particular.
- 42:28S13: He says, you lack one thing. And the Bible specifically
- 42:32S13: says Jesus loved him and told him that. But at
- 42:34S13: the same time, Jesus looked at other people who weren't
- 42:37S13: in high authority, who were sinners just as much as
- 42:40S13: that guy was as well. But because they didn't have
- 42:43S13: this pride of authority, rather they had this dejected ness
- 42:45S13: to them, is that he looks at the woman at
- 42:47S13: the well and basically says, all those chips on your shoulder.
- 42:51S13: I am telling you, I know everything about you and
- 42:55S13: I'm inviting you to be in the kingdom of God,
- 42:57S13: even though you're a Samaritan, an outsider. And she got
- 43:00S13: so excited that she became the cross-cultural evangelist. She was,
- 43:04S13: I think, yeah. And he go. So he goes back
- 43:06S13: from that prayer in the beginning of the day, how
- 43:08S13: am I going to interact with people who disagree with
- 43:11S13: me or who need my help? And two, how am
- 43:15S13: I going to emulate who Jesus actually was and how
- 43:18S13: he did things? And look to the scripture to see
- 43:20S13: how someone can walk that high ridge, because it's not
- 43:23S13: an easy thing to do. Uh, but it is a
- 43:25S13: necessary thing to do. And you'll lose people and you'll
- 43:28S13: gain people. But that's the way life works.
- 43:31S5: I love it. Abdu Murray. My guest right now, I'm
- 43:33S5: going to give you a quick one. I'm going to
- 43:35S5: veil it a bit. It was a number of years ago.
- 43:37S5: There was a very high level national leader who stood
- 43:41S5: for things that I stood wholeheartedly against. Um, abortion, uh, even, uh,
- 43:48S5: some social issues that seemed ultimately destructive to our national good.
- 43:53S5: But he came up with a plan to address this
- 43:56S5: fatherless young men challenge that we have in our nation.
- 44:01S5: And I made a post cheering for that. I had
- 44:03S5: a couple of comments I had to block because they
- 44:05S5: were from angry Christians who said, how can you agree?
- 44:09S5: I think that's kind of a proving field, isn't it,
- 44:12S5: that we need to be careful, that we are not
- 44:17S5: anathema on everything that comes out of everyone's mouth. If
- 44:20S5: there's something we can agree on, what's the benefit of
- 44:23S5: cheering for something that we agree with?
- 44:27S13: Well, and that's the issue too, isn't it, is that
- 44:30S13: we have, as Christians especially, we have to remember that
- 44:33S13: we believe every human being is made in God's image,
- 44:36S13: which means that I can separate the value of a
- 44:39S13: person from the value of their ideas. And there are
- 44:42S13: times when their ideas are terrible, but the person is
- 44:44S13: still inherently valuable. And there are times when that same
- 44:47S13: exact person actually has great ideas. Now, if I engage
- 44:53S13: in tribalism, where it's always my side and my people
- 44:57S13: and only me who has good ideas, or only us
- 45:00S13: who has good ideas, then we're going to pass by
- 45:02S13: on some ideas when we can actually join and lock
- 45:05S13: arms with people and say, okay, this issue, we're going
- 45:08S13: to tackle this issue. We can disagree on other matters,
- 45:10S13: but I'm not compromising my stance on the things I
- 45:14S13: disagree with you on just because I happen to agree
- 45:16S13: with you on this one thing. Yeah, that's. And that
- 45:20S13: to me is what holds in many ways, whether it's
- 45:23S13: political or religious or social. That's what holds, I think
- 45:27S13: the West in general and America in specific back. I
- 45:32S13: remember thinking about this and talking with someone about the
- 45:34S13: fact that we're so partisan in so many ways, because
- 45:37S13: if someone on the other side of the political issue
- 45:40S13: has a really good idea, we have to denounce the
- 45:43S13: idea that we even agree with because we didn't have
- 45:46S13: it yet. And then when our side comes up with it,
- 45:48S13: it's the best idea since sliced bread, right? Because it's tribalism.
- 45:52S13: The question is, are we about truth or tribe? Which
- 45:54S13: one is it? And if you're about truth, you're going
- 45:56S13: to upset your tribe. Go back to Jesus once again.
- 45:59S13: He upset his tribe. He upset his disciples. He he
- 46:03S13: lost followers sometimes on purpose because he refused to compromise
- 46:08S13: where he thought someone else who didn't, who didn't deserve
- 46:11S13: his grace did. Zacchaeus is a great example. You know,
- 46:15S13: as a Middle Easterner, Jesus walks into a town. He's
- 46:18S13: already famous, he's already got a following. And all these
- 46:21S13: people want him to come to their house. So the
- 46:23S13: Bible doesn't say it, but the reality is, is that
- 46:26S13: everyone would have been saying, Jesus, come to my house, Jesus,
- 46:28S13: come to my house. And there was, of course, some
- 46:30S13: mention of that in the Bible. But when Jesus sees Zacchaeus,
- 46:33S13: the one everyone hates trying to hear what Jesus is saying.
- 46:37S13: Jesus says, Zacchaeus, I'm going to your house. He didn't
- 46:39S13: get invited. Zacchaeus house, he invited himself. And so in
- 46:43S13: that sense, what he said to everybody else who was
- 46:45S13: trying to invite him for status, he said, I'm not
- 46:48S13: here for your status. I'm here for that guy. And
- 46:51S13: they hated that guy. So he undoubtedly lost followers in
- 46:55S13: doing so. So we have to understand that sometimes we
- 46:58S13: have to actually interact with those we don't agree with
- 47:01S13: on many issues, because we do care about this one
- 47:04S13: particular issue. And ultimately, when we agree with that person
- 47:09S13: on one thing, maybe they'll say, hey, wait a minute, what?
- 47:12S13: What's going on here? Why are you agreeing with me? Well,
- 47:15S13: because truth is truth no matter who says it. And
- 47:18S13: I want you to hear me when I say truth
- 47:20S13: as well. You gain credibility when you lock arms with
- 47:24S13: somebody who you otherwise disagree with, because you happen to
- 47:26S13: agree on the same thing and you've put truth over tribe,
- 47:30S13: and then maybe they'll put truth over tribe the next
- 47:33S13: time they think about who you are.
- 47:35S5: Oh, Abdu, this is great. One final thought here on this.
- 47:40S5: Jesus does say that there comes a time when you
- 47:43S5: can't cast pearls before pigs, and it's a strong metaphor
- 47:50S5: for the way I take it is some people can't
- 47:54S5: handle the truth. I'm not quoting an old movie, but
- 47:57S5: there we go. Um, some people can't handle the truth.
- 48:01S5: How do we measure whether or not there comes a
- 48:04S5: time in a relationship when we just be quiet and realize,
- 48:08S5: I apparently am not the messenger. It could be a
- 48:11S5: wayward kid, could be a boss, could be a colleague,
- 48:13S5: could be a spouse. How do we measure that?
- 48:17S13: Oh gosh, that's one of the age old questions. I
- 48:19S13: get this all the time and I wrestle with it
- 48:20S13: myself all the time. This is an important thing for
- 48:24S13: us to really wrestle with, because we have to pray
- 48:26S13: through these things at this particular at a particular moment
- 48:29S13: is to say, when am I casting pearls before swine?
- 48:31S13: When am I when's the next best, when's the next move?
- 48:35S13: I'll give you a quick example of this, is that
- 48:37S13: a friend of mine was engaged in an online dialogue
- 48:40S13: with a very harsh atheist. And as he was engaging
- 48:44S13: and he was giving good arguments, the very smart, very
- 48:47S13: thoughtful atheists objections were becoming more and more desperate. In fact,
- 48:51S13: well beneath this atheist intelligence and integrity. And my friend
- 48:55S13: started to get really frustrated. He's like, look, this is
- 48:57S13: devolved now. Maybe this is about me. Maybe something happened here,
- 49:01S13: I don't know. So he wrote a really long response
- 49:04S13: and then said, you know what? I'm going to write
- 49:05S13: something else and it's just going to be clearly, you
- 49:07S13: and I are wasting our time. This is no longer
- 49:09S13: about the truth. This is about who wins the conversation.
- 49:12S13: So I think I'm just done. And his wife told him, hey,
- 49:15S13: you already wrote the response. The long response. Why don't
- 49:18S13: you just pray about it and then send the long response?
- 49:21S13: And if that becomes ridiculous, then you just say, okay,
- 49:24S13: we're done. He said okay. He sent the long response
- 49:28S13: and the atheist wrote back and said, you know what?
- 49:32S13: That was the last straw. I have nothing more. And
- 49:35S13: my desperation to not believe this stuff. You finally answered
- 49:37S13: everything that I've thought about and I want to become
- 49:40S13: a Christian. So what happens now? Does that mean that
- 49:44S13: every time that happens. No. But you pray about it
- 49:47S13: and you give it that one last shot. The temptation
- 49:49S13: is to give everything one last shot over and over again.
- 49:53S13: And you have to. But sometimes just being present, being
- 49:57S13: a person, being someone with integrity, is as much of
- 50:00S13: a witness as the words you've used in the past. And, um,
- 50:06S13: it's a time for prayer. I mean, I've had people
- 50:08S13: in my life where I've had to say, look, I'm
- 50:10S13: just going to live as well as a, of a
- 50:14S13: Christian as I that can possibly live in their life.
- 50:17S13: The talking is I'm not going to say anything new,
- 50:20S13: and they're not going to hear anything new, and nor
- 50:21S13: are they going to say anything new. It's time for
- 50:23S13: us to just live our lives and see what happens. Um,
- 50:26S13: and oftentimes people will actually listen because of your deeds,
- 50:31S13: not just because of our creeds. Now they'll come to
- 50:34S13: believe our creeds through our deeds. But, um, that's a
- 50:37S13: matter of prayer. It's always a tough one. It's always
- 50:40S13: a tough one.
- 50:41S5: Yeah, it's it's it's a fallback plan. Let my light
- 50:44S5: so shine. Oh, God. Before man, that they will see
- 50:47S5: my deeds and glorify you. Who is in heaven. Abdi,
- 50:51S5: this is so dynamite. You're listening right now going. Who
- 50:54S5: is this guy? Abdu Murray. He's got a website called
- 50:57S5: Embrace the Truth. Let me give you a direct link
- 50:59S5: to him right now. It's called embrace. That's the word.
- 51:02S5: Text embrace to 800 555, 7898. One word embrace to
- 51:10S5: 800 555, 78, 98.