Latest / We Talk Back / EP 89: A Do-What?!
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
- 0:07Speaker 1: talks back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning them
- 0:11Speaker 1: for a new episode that we talked back. It's your
- 0:14Speaker 1: co host A J. Holiday. What up? Hey, y'all, it's me,
- 0:19Speaker 1: damn bam. I love y'all. What's again this week? I dude,
- 0:22Speaker 1: I love you too, a J. I don't think I
- 0:24Speaker 1: tell you enough. I tell you, but I don't tell
- 0:25Speaker 1: you know. If I love you so much, I love
- 0:27Speaker 1: me too. I like my strangers, I love you warning
- 0:31Speaker 1: him I love him too, though. What's up? Job? We've
- 0:35Speaker 1: been going on? Girl, I ain't doing ship this weekend,
- 0:39Speaker 1: if that's what you're asking. Nothing. I stayed in the
- 0:42Speaker 1: house because I'm going away next weekend again, so I
- 0:46Speaker 1: saved my money for that, and I adn't feel like
- 0:48Speaker 1: being bothered with nobody's selling this weekend, so I just
- 0:50Speaker 1: kind of chilled what you did? So apparently I've been
- 0:55Speaker 1: at out of high school for twenty years now as
- 1:00Speaker 1: an old bitch. So we had like a little pull
- 1:03Speaker 1: up some of my classmates. It was a good time. Okay,
- 1:07Speaker 1: it was a really good time. Saw some people I
- 1:10Speaker 1: haven't seen in a while because even though I'm in Charleston,
- 1:12Speaker 1: I don't see nobody. Honestly, I don't, so yeah, I
- 1:16Speaker 1: got to see something. Actually, one of my classmates does
- 1:18Speaker 1: go to the gym with me. Other than that, I
- 1:20Speaker 1: won't be seeing nobody. So it was a good time
- 1:23Speaker 1: with them. We went out, went to a couple of spots.
- 1:25Speaker 1: You a little better than all of them, of course. Okay,
- 1:29Speaker 1: clear Me and my best decince first grade Priscilla, of course,
- 1:33Speaker 1: you know, shopping all people and adolescent saying adulthood. Okay,
- 1:40Speaker 1: that was a good time. That's all I had going
- 1:43Speaker 1: on and ship computer ship. I'm starting to read more, y'all.
- 1:48Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all read, but I read. Yeah,
- 1:51Speaker 1: I'm trying to read more. So you read some books? Yes,
- 1:55Speaker 1: I was reading this week every right, like a bit
- 1:58Speaker 1: you can read like I'm starting to read more. It's
- 2:02Speaker 1: like a read bed on this ship. Like look at God,
- 2:06Speaker 1: an't you doing? I get right? I write really well,
- 2:09Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. A writer, But I guess
- 2:12Speaker 1: that kind of goes hand in hand. It takes me
- 2:14Speaker 1: a while to write because I have to really formulate
- 2:17Speaker 1: my thoughts. But when I do, it's really good. So
- 2:21Speaker 1: I need I've picked up reading a little bit more
- 2:23Speaker 1: so I can get my my comprehension skills and spelling
- 2:26Speaker 1: skills and reading skills altogether. Okay, so what are you
- 2:29Speaker 1: reading right now? These nuts? I'm reading this book. I'm
- 2:35Speaker 1: reading a book. I get people what I'm reading because
- 2:37Speaker 1: they're gonna be like, man, this bitch is the devil.
- 2:39Speaker 1: Go ahead. What's reading thinking? Girl? Big? Is Napoleon Hill book.
- 2:45Speaker 1: It's just a book about like your thoughts and manifesting
- 2:48Speaker 1: and things like that. Yeah, that's what I'm reading right now.
- 2:51Speaker 1: And then I also reading in the Art of Commerce,
- 2:53Speaker 1: stre you a whole That's a whole book. The Artist
- 2:57Speaker 1: is Sorry, the artist deduction. Oh I've read that before.
- 3:01Speaker 1: I have that. Yeah, but I've been reading books on
- 3:04Speaker 1: magic and ship trying to perfect my craft a little
- 3:08Speaker 1: bit better. See'all, motherfucker's better be careful. What uh? We
- 3:13Speaker 1: We actually have some spells on today, So that's good.
- 3:17Speaker 1: We got some spells on. Uh huh Susan spells. Oh right,
- 3:23Speaker 1: but we'll get back to that all right. Let's get
- 3:25Speaker 1: into stupid internet news. Cha cha chat? Okay, Sorrihanna finally
- 3:32Speaker 1: got going on an army. Rihanna is assumingly because she
- 3:40Speaker 1: posted her hand on Instagram holding a football in the
- 3:43Speaker 1: air and then uh. The NFL's Instagram page also posted
- 3:48Speaker 1: that they are now the National Finty League, So that
- 3:52Speaker 1: will let us know that Rihanna is going to be
- 3:55Speaker 1: doing the halftime show for this year's Super Bowl. So
- 3:59Speaker 1: Rihanna is super chunky right now after that damn baby.
- 4:01Speaker 1: So I know she about to be on a stupid
- 4:03Speaker 1: ass die, but I love how she looks. I liked,
- 4:05Speaker 1: I like, yes, I want to bite Rihanna. Okay, so
- 4:10Speaker 1: are you gay? No? But she just looks soft. That's
- 4:13Speaker 1: the gayest ship you ever said. But I don't want
- 4:16Speaker 1: to bite like okay, sign know lesbians really want to
- 4:18Speaker 1: bite Gucci. But I meant like, she just looked like
- 4:21Speaker 1: she taste good. Starts starts really and I heard she
- 4:29Speaker 1: smelled good like there's videos online about how good Rihanna sells.
- 4:33Speaker 1: So yeah, I can't wait to watch halftime. Should I
- 4:37Speaker 1: might around trying to go to the damn uh Super
- 4:40Speaker 1: Bowl and she performing Yes, I want to go me too.
- 4:44Speaker 1: Let's get some tickets. Yes, I'm down. Let's get some
- 4:47Speaker 1: men with tickets and then just be their cliss one
- 4:50Speaker 1: period because I know the ticket is gonna be expensive.
- 4:53Speaker 1: If Rihanna there, they way more than they usually are there.
- 4:57Speaker 1: Mary J. Blige passing out last started. I love that
- 5:04Speaker 1: for Rihanna though, me too. I'm happy for her. Hopefully
- 5:07Speaker 1: she got an album coming too. That would be nice.
- 5:09Speaker 1: That would be nice that she do like a new
- 5:11Speaker 1: song on the super Bowl. I hope it's extra black,
- 5:14Speaker 1: and I hope white people be mad. It's like I'll
- 5:16Speaker 1: be happy to Oh, let's get into Mystical. I don't
- 5:20Speaker 1: know if you guys saw this, but um Mr Cole
- 5:25Speaker 1: supposedly asked his victim of sexual assault he forced her
- 5:31Speaker 1: to pray with him before he assaulted her, saying that
- 5:36Speaker 1: he was going to remove the demons from her. Meanwhile,
- 5:40Speaker 1: he was the demon. He's a sexual demon, and he
- 5:43Speaker 1: probably should have never been released from prison because obviously
- 5:45Speaker 1: he's a predator. I don't understand, and I just feel like,
- 5:50Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe this realm promotes this type of
- 5:53Speaker 1: activity for some reason, like evil always prevails on this side.
- 5:58Speaker 1: That dude is a menace to society. And I used
- 6:04Speaker 1: to love Mtical like Mticle is fine as hell, like
- 6:08Speaker 1: why you gotta take pussy. I'm pretty sure there's a
- 6:10Speaker 1: lot of women that would just give it to you.
- 6:11Speaker 1: But we know rape is not about like, well exactly,
- 6:16Speaker 1: it's not about the sentence about control and power over
- 6:19Speaker 1: somebody else. Why why you want to be out here
- 6:21Speaker 1: stealing cookies from women? Man's crazy. It's those type of
- 6:26Speaker 1: people need to be lined up and executed. I don't
- 6:29Speaker 1: really believe in corporal punishment like that, but man, he
- 6:33Speaker 1: gotta get the funk up out of here. I'm sorry,
- 6:36Speaker 1: and anybody like him, they gotta get out of here.
- 6:39Speaker 1: You're just around here just ruining people lives, right quick, right,
- 6:44Speaker 1: don't take nobody's body from him. I hope they shake
- 6:46Speaker 1: your faith and so your way. You're a little stupid.
- 6:51Speaker 1: Like I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and
- 6:53Speaker 1: he was almost like victim blaming talking about like, you know,
- 6:57Speaker 1: somebody's videos on YouTube he was watching. He was like,
- 7:00Speaker 1: you know, they kind of made a point because they
- 7:02Speaker 1: were saying, how, um, you know, women put themselves in
- 7:06Speaker 1: dangerous positions for things to happen to them. So yeah,
- 7:09Speaker 1: we gotta focus on men not rape women, right, but
- 7:12Speaker 1: also women need not put themselves why the fuck do
- 7:16Speaker 1: I have to adjust my entire life because you don't
- 7:19Speaker 1: have no self control? And he was like, you know,
- 7:23Speaker 1: women be walking outside three o'clock in the morning, usually
- 7:25Speaker 1: those are car hoppers. You should be you should you
- 7:27Speaker 1: should be able to walk outside any time and be safe, exactly,
- 7:32Speaker 1: And and let's have to worry about protecting your body
- 7:35Speaker 1: from some fucking predator. Yeah. What I said to him was, listen,
- 7:38Speaker 1: we gotta look at the statistics of how many women,
- 7:41Speaker 1: I'll just say black women in particular, right, how many
- 7:43Speaker 1: black women do you think are raped just because they
- 7:46Speaker 1: walking outside three m in comparison to going on a
- 7:49Speaker 1: date or visiting a man that you know and trust
- 7:52Speaker 1: and being violated. I'm pretty sure that's a little bit higher.
- 7:57Speaker 1: Then walking outside three o'clock in the morning doesn't really happened,
- 8:01Speaker 1: but as much, Yeah, it doesn't happen as much as
- 8:03Speaker 1: somebody just going out with somebody and a man thinking
- 8:06Speaker 1: he has, you know, all rights over your fucking body.
- 8:10Speaker 1: It is. And you know, farewell to that nigga, Sorry
- 8:15Speaker 1: to that nigger. Moving right along, we gotta talk about
- 8:22Speaker 1: it nia long and I can't how do you pronounced
- 8:25Speaker 1: that gentleman's name a duca ducal. So apparently this man
- 8:32Speaker 1: that I called cheating on the ain't none of us safe, y'all? Yeah,
- 8:35Speaker 1: I don't be surprised exactly. Ain't nobody exempt from real
- 8:38Speaker 1: life events. Let's be clear, even Kneel Long or Beyonce.
- 8:41Speaker 1: Beyonce got cheated on too. All that's gone got cheated on.
- 8:43Speaker 1: So Niil Long is no different. Okay? Do we even think?
- 8:48Speaker 1: I'm almost starting to feel like mono monogamy. It's an
- 8:53Speaker 1: idea of the past and it's no longer normal. We
- 8:56Speaker 1: don't even know what type of relationship these people are,
- 8:58Speaker 1: and maybe they're in a non monogam this relationship. You
- 9:00Speaker 1: just never know. What I do know is that why
- 9:04Speaker 1: the funk? You can't funx somebody outside of the Celtics.
- 9:07Speaker 1: So this is the head coach of the Magna be
- 9:10Speaker 1: at work all the time, he got time to meet
- 9:12Speaker 1: bitches outside of work. That's the problem at least. Okay,
- 9:15Speaker 1: So here's the backstory, y'all. So a mayaducal head coach
- 9:20Speaker 1: of the Celtics. He's been put on a year long suspension.
- 9:24Speaker 1: They didn't say indefinitely, So right now he's suspended for
- 9:27Speaker 1: a year from the team. Right, he apparently was having
- 9:31Speaker 1: an affair with the vice president of finances wife and
- 9:36Speaker 1: then the team travel the person like who does the
- 9:40Speaker 1: travel for the team? The two he's having sexities, two
- 9:45Speaker 1: white women, both of them both phones. Listen, they ain't black,
- 9:53Speaker 1: both phones, you know, So everybody's online just feeling so
- 9:56Speaker 1: bad for Nia long and Da da da. Let's take
- 10:00Speaker 1: into consideration that Ni Along has been with this man
- 10:03Speaker 1: for ten years, they have a child together, and he
- 10:06Speaker 1: never married you, so like he's been a free agent
- 10:09Speaker 1: all this time. Essentially technically, yeah, you ain't married. We
- 10:15Speaker 1: can't have higher standards for the alone that she has
- 10:18Speaker 1: for herself because now this man is cheated and you
- 10:20Speaker 1: have no way to get any benefits out of him.
- 10:23Speaker 1: There's no divorce going to happen where you could take
- 10:25Speaker 1: half as she don't need no benefits from that? Why not?
- 10:28Speaker 1: Does she don't need it? When is the wind? I
- 10:31Speaker 1: know the last movie I've seen her and was maybe
- 10:33Speaker 1: two years ago now, But we're not gonna act like
- 10:36Speaker 1: this man doesn't have more money than the Along. I
- 10:39Speaker 1: don't know the basketball team NBA team, yes, and I
- 10:43Speaker 1: believe he used to play as well, so and he
- 10:47Speaker 1: find his Hell, let's let's let's be clear kicked up.
- 10:50Speaker 1: Listen that she might not even gave a fun if
- 10:54Speaker 1: y'all talking so much about it that now she gotta
- 10:57Speaker 1: act like that's most women like, Okay, yeah, cheated, but
- 11:00Speaker 1: it's the embarrassment that it's the embarrassment like now the
- 11:05Speaker 1: whole world, even if she wanted to stay with him,
- 11:08Speaker 1: as almost like she has to make a choice. She's forced, girl,
- 11:11Speaker 1: stay with your man. You fifty one, I'm pretty sure
- 11:15Speaker 1: the first time he cheated. But this woman, the travel
- 11:20Speaker 1: agent or whatever, he just she just helped her move
- 11:23Speaker 1: to Boston. She assisted me along because it wasn't personal.
- 11:29Speaker 1: Clearly the funk wasn't personal. But imagine this is the
- 11:33Speaker 1: motherfucker who scheduled ship for the team, right, so you're
- 11:36Speaker 1: probably scheduling your disappointment when my man before you schedule
- 11:39Speaker 1: me to come. She's a help she's a helpful home. Yo. Listen,
- 11:48Speaker 1: at least you consider it. No, I would beat her up.
- 11:56Speaker 1: You're playing in my face. That's for me. It's about
- 11:59Speaker 1: it's the respect. You know. What I'm saying is that
- 12:01Speaker 1: the lack of respect. Who had it the man of
- 12:05Speaker 1: the like that the lack of respect is her man.
- 12:08Speaker 1: She's doing her job. That's her job, right, she can't.
- 12:11Speaker 1: Your job is not the man. You know, her job
- 12:13Speaker 1: is ship though, right that your job is not the schedule.
- 12:16Speaker 1: You're pussy on his dick along with that. Okay, so
- 12:19Speaker 1: we know just like the I always say that, Yes,
- 12:22Speaker 1: the home record is the motherfucker that's in the home. Yes, understood.
- 12:27Speaker 1: But we all know that your man cannot cheat unless
- 12:30Speaker 1: there's a bit out here willing to compete, and bitches
- 12:34Speaker 1: us always willing to compete. Damn right they are. It
- 12:37Speaker 1: ain't that many niggers out here, it's many. It's scarce,
- 12:41Speaker 1: good man, how many stuffs? Good? Is he really good?
- 12:45Speaker 1: We said, just say, well, pay on paper because he
- 12:49Speaker 1: actually is a fucking slimeball. So the VP wife, she
- 12:54Speaker 1: got caught up because her heart. Bring heard the conversation
- 12:56Speaker 1: on the rain, Yeah, get the ships out. I gotta
- 13:02Speaker 1: watch out for the rain camera, Alexa, all that should
- 13:06Speaker 1: telling on you the room. But like the little vacuum ship,
- 13:10Speaker 1: that's the camera and the you gotta speaker on it.
- 13:13Speaker 1: So now those things come together like if you order rumba,
- 13:16Speaker 1: it kind of comes with Alexa, you can get like
- 13:18Speaker 1: a package. So Alexa, you can say Alexa cut roomball
- 13:22Speaker 1: on or something like that. So Rumba is your eyes,
- 13:25Speaker 1: Alexa is your fucking ears, and the rumor gonna bump
- 13:29Speaker 1: into your many humping a bit sweeping around his feet.
- 13:34Speaker 1: But listen, I'm sure that Nia Long's transition to that
- 13:37Speaker 1: community was easier one with that bitch's help. Yo, I
- 13:46Speaker 1: I just can't um. Oh goodness, why are you can't
- 13:50Speaker 1: suck somebody else like you? You are? So apparently this
- 13:53Speaker 1: guy has a white moms. He's by Rachel, so it's like, okay,
- 13:57Speaker 1: whatever he like in the middle. But just feel like
- 14:00Speaker 1: when when black men get a certain like position in life,
- 14:05Speaker 1: you you fight to get to this position, right, you
- 14:07Speaker 1: fight to get Why are you gonna sunk it up
- 14:09Speaker 1: like that? You know what he's gonna drag you, you know?
- 14:12Speaker 1: And I also like the articles I'm seeing online about
- 14:14Speaker 1: the ship with Brett Farvee and how he embezzled millions
- 14:18Speaker 1: and millions of dollars. I believe this is a cover
- 14:21Speaker 1: so people not paying attention to that particular story. But
- 14:23Speaker 1: on black social media, you know, we're dragging this ship.
- 14:26Speaker 1: But this guy. But to me, that's a bigger story
- 14:30Speaker 1: Bret far And they're not talking about it, Nope, not hardly.
- 14:34Speaker 1: But this man, you know, simply smashing on some bitches.
- 14:37Speaker 1: Do you you would have thought that it was, you know,
- 14:39Speaker 1: unconsensual sex. You would think that he took somebody. Yeah,
- 14:44Speaker 1: these women were willing participants. And I'm I'm trying to
- 14:47Speaker 1: figure out were they uh suspended? Did they lose their jobs? Right? Oh,
- 14:54Speaker 1: y'all just gonna rape raap this black man across the
- 14:57Speaker 1: damn coles for doing ship. All men do. And that's
- 15:00Speaker 1: why I'm concerned that it's monogamy natural because niggas is
- 15:03Speaker 1: risking their whole everything for a piece of pussy on
- 15:06Speaker 1: the side. Isn't even natural? Like you risk your whole career,
- 15:10Speaker 1: your family, everything, it is natural. But I feel like, um, okay,
- 15:16Speaker 1: so monogamy may not really be natural with Look, let's
- 15:19Speaker 1: look at and we can have a whole show in
- 15:21Speaker 1: this ship, but let's look at the benefits of being
- 15:23Speaker 1: in a monogamous relationship. You know, we always look at
- 15:26Speaker 1: the stuff on the outside, But what's the benefits of
- 15:28Speaker 1: being in a in a in a monogamous relationship like
- 15:31Speaker 1: black people. We talk about wealth building and generational wealth
- 15:34Speaker 1: and all that. You can't do that without family. You
- 15:36Speaker 1: can't do that without your husband and wife. And you
- 15:40Speaker 1: know this life y'all building around yourselves for your children
- 15:43Speaker 1: and their children, like if everybody just out here. But
- 15:46Speaker 1: you can't have all of that without being monogamous, can you?
- 15:50Speaker 1: Though you're spreading yourself, then you have to have a
- 15:53Speaker 1: lot of I feel like non monogamy is for rich people.
- 15:57Speaker 1: It's for rich people. We're talking about is rich This
- 16:00Speaker 1: is rich people problems right here we talk about. Yeah,
- 16:04Speaker 1: but we are broke niggers doing the same ship like
- 16:06Speaker 1: y'are not. Y'all know these people have generational wealth or
- 16:09Speaker 1: nia long really they have. It's still separate. Yes, she
- 16:12Speaker 1: has a child with him, right, but what she doesn't
- 16:14Speaker 1: get any benefits of something where to happen in a
- 16:16Speaker 1: relationship because they aren't married, but baby will. Yeah. So
- 16:19Speaker 1: if you have men out here just dropping seeds off,
- 16:22Speaker 1: that's what black men like to call and they got
- 16:23Speaker 1: seeds they dropping every fucking where. You can't build ship
- 16:27Speaker 1: with that. You spread thin. You don't let your dick
- 16:29Speaker 1: make a slave out of you, like you can't take
- 16:30Speaker 1: care of these children off, you know, mentally and physically
- 16:35Speaker 1: and emotionally and financially. If you're not there, you can't
- 16:39Speaker 1: be there for everybody. So that's why it's like it's
- 16:42Speaker 1: a plus to be monogamous. It's not a negative. What's
- 16:45Speaker 1: the next you can you can name the negatives, but
- 16:47Speaker 1: being a no nomino against relationship, but I can name
- 16:51Speaker 1: a negative and being a monogamous so boring, same day
- 16:57Speaker 1: over and over? Why them, same stroke years? Yeah, you
- 17:03Speaker 1: can trust that you can getting STD from it though. Yeah,
- 17:08Speaker 1: I feel like that that always be looking at them scales. Okay,
- 17:11Speaker 1: I need that anyway, y'all listen, we got a special
- 17:15Speaker 1: guest on the show today. Right after the break, we
- 17:18Speaker 1: have Susan Spells. She's a special person. You know, a
- 17:22Speaker 1: lot of us. Come, yeah, let's hear about her. We'll
- 17:25Speaker 1: be right back. All right, y'all, we're back and we
- 17:36Speaker 1: have a special guests on today. Her name is Smiths.
- 17:40Speaker 1: Susan Spells is She is a do lie I do
- 17:45Speaker 1: love you do. I'm doing good, Cory good good. I
- 17:52Speaker 1: couldn't wait to say that. Shut up me? Hey so
- 18:01Speaker 1: then hey, j alright, So the reason why I specifically
- 18:07Speaker 1: wanted to bring a do law on is because I've
- 18:09Speaker 1: just been seeing so much information spreading about black women
- 18:13Speaker 1: dying at childbirth and we're not getting the same care
- 18:16Speaker 1: in hospitals that you know, our white counterparts do when
- 18:22Speaker 1: it comes to giving birth. So I wanted to speak
- 18:25Speaker 1: to someone who uh is a doulah and a birthing
- 18:29Speaker 1: person to get some more information for us and our
- 18:32Speaker 1: listeners about what that looks like outside of traditional hospitals.
- 18:37Speaker 1: So first let me ask you this, how how did
- 18:39Speaker 1: you decide that you wanted to get into this particular industry. Well,
- 18:44Speaker 1: I was, um a preschool teacher at first. UM. I
- 18:48Speaker 1: was in college for nursing school. I always knew I
- 18:52Speaker 1: wanted to be around kids babies, So I was in
- 18:54Speaker 1: school for nursing UM and then I was like, I'm
- 18:58Speaker 1: just gonna take a break. So I took a break
- 19:00Speaker 1: and I started working as a preschool teacher. And from
- 19:03Speaker 1: there it was just like, okay, this is something I
- 19:06Speaker 1: have something. Um My coworkers would say, oh girl, these
- 19:10Speaker 1: kids be acting know when I'm here, but when you're here,
- 19:13Speaker 1: they don't be acting like this. It must be something
- 19:15Speaker 1: about you, something about your any judity, something Yes, and
- 19:18Speaker 1: then once I was like, okay, that's that's good. Then
- 19:21Speaker 1: the parents started to notice and they started to show
- 19:24Speaker 1: their appreciation. UM. Their kids would call me mom and
- 19:28Speaker 1: they're like, UM, you know how kids would cry to
- 19:30Speaker 1: go into their care. Their kids wasn't doing that, they
- 19:32Speaker 1: wanted to come. And then I was just something went
- 19:35Speaker 1: inside of me. I was like, Okay, what can I
- 19:37Speaker 1: do that I can have this experience from the start,
- 19:40Speaker 1: like from the making, supporting these parents, supporting them through
- 19:44Speaker 1: UM pregnancy, UM childbirds, and even with help raising the children. UM.
- 19:50Speaker 1: So I started looking into things and I came across
- 19:53Speaker 1: the word do with UM. Just like everybody else, I
- 19:57Speaker 1: didn't know what that was. So I just started to
- 20:00Speaker 1: look more into it. And around that time, UM, a
- 20:03Speaker 1: big story had came out where a woman had died
- 20:07Speaker 1: in childbirth and her husband was advocating for her and
- 20:12Speaker 1: UM starting up organizations and things like that. UM. So
- 20:15Speaker 1: that really maybe get into It's like, well, why are
- 20:18Speaker 1: we dying? You know? Why are we three to four
- 20:21Speaker 1: times more likely to die than the white our white
- 20:24Speaker 1: kind of counterparts. UM. And once I started looking into
- 20:28Speaker 1: that and digging into that, that made me realize, Okay,
- 20:30Speaker 1: this is something I need to do, especially at I
- 20:33Speaker 1: was only twenty one two at the time, so I
- 20:37Speaker 1: was like, this is definitely something I need to do
- 20:39Speaker 1: for my generation, um, for when I have children, for
- 20:43Speaker 1: my sister, for my cousins, you know, and that's really
- 20:46Speaker 1: what got me started. So, you know, for our listeners
- 20:50Speaker 1: who don't know exactly what a doula is, and you
- 20:52Speaker 1: kind of touched on a little bit, but tell us
- 20:54Speaker 1: exactly what a doula is and what what uh a
- 20:58Speaker 1: pregnant mother could expect. So by Google definition, a dula
- 21:04Speaker 1: is like a trained professional who provides support during pregnancy, UM, childbirths,
- 21:10Speaker 1: the postparting period. They educate you, they advocate for you,
- 21:15Speaker 1: motivate you. UM. But as for me a dula and
- 21:19Speaker 1: how I am as a dua, UM, I'm a therapist.
- 21:23Speaker 1: I'm a counselor. UM. Sometimes with my mom's from the
- 21:27Speaker 1: moment they pee on the stick, so I'm working with
- 21:30Speaker 1: them for thirty plus weeks on end um. I'm they're
- 21:34Speaker 1: supporting their other children. I'm supporting them through every life
- 21:37Speaker 1: change that happens during pregnancy. I'm supporting and educating them
- 21:42Speaker 1: on things that the doctor may not act or supporting
- 21:46Speaker 1: them with giving them resources to midwives, UM, so that
- 21:50Speaker 1: they can achieve home works if they wanted to birth
- 21:52Speaker 1: outside of the hospital. UM. I give them so much
- 21:57Speaker 1: love and so much support and just cater to them
- 22:00Speaker 1: throughout their whole experience, even after in the postparting period.
- 22:07Speaker 1: So all right, you said, um, with midwives, what's the
- 22:09Speaker 1: difference between a do luck and a midwife? Is there
- 22:12Speaker 1: a difference there? There is? So a mid wife would
- 22:16Speaker 1: kind of be like your OBI. So when you go
- 22:18Speaker 1: to the hospital and they would be your delivery doctor.
- 22:21Speaker 1: That's exactly what you're obi is I mean? But I'm sorry,
- 22:24Speaker 1: that's exactly what your mid wife is. So your mind wife.
- 22:27Speaker 1: They still will do pre NATO visits with you. They'll
- 22:30Speaker 1: like check your yearine, check the baby's position, different things
- 22:35Speaker 1: like that. So they are going to be your medical provider.
- 22:39Speaker 1: They're going to be there too, uh, make sure that
- 22:42Speaker 1: your baby is healthy, different things like that. Versus your
- 22:45Speaker 1: DUA is your support there, your labor companion. Uh, there's
- 22:50Speaker 1: somebody that works with you on the ins and out
- 22:53Speaker 1: and when you need some support At two am, Hey,
- 22:57Speaker 1: I'm having this pain, I'm having this thing and I
- 22:59Speaker 1: don't just want to rush to the hospital for them
- 23:01Speaker 1: to turn me around. What are some things I can do?
- 23:04Speaker 1: Um Or I'm just not happy right now in pregnancy
- 23:07Speaker 1: and I just need to vent. That's what that do is. Therefore, Okay,
- 23:13Speaker 1: I think a lot of times people think about when
- 23:15Speaker 1: they think about home birth, they automatically think doulah, Right,
- 23:18Speaker 1: But how important is it for you to have a
- 23:20Speaker 1: doula and a midwife if you plan on doing a
- 23:23Speaker 1: home birth. Very important, It's very important, and and it
- 23:27Speaker 1: can it can be done. It can be done without
- 23:29Speaker 1: a midwife, um. But the importance of having that midwife
- 23:33Speaker 1: is to make sure that if anything goes left, you
- 23:37Speaker 1: are in a safe space and you have somebody that's
- 23:40Speaker 1: knowledgeable that can help you out in a medical way,
- 23:44Speaker 1: UM safer instance, if baby comes out and baby is
- 23:48Speaker 1: not breathing, they are there and they have oxygen and
- 23:51Speaker 1: they have things that they can do to help baby breathe. Again,
- 23:55Speaker 1: everything's like that where a doula cannot step out of
- 23:58Speaker 1: their role as a dude to dolah and become a
- 24:01Speaker 1: medical provietor. So it's important to have a midwife because
- 24:05Speaker 1: you just have an extra level of security, extra level
- 24:08Speaker 1: of support and um just safeness. Um. I have a question.
- 24:16Speaker 1: Have you ever had like a really hard situation with
- 24:19Speaker 1: a mother, Like what was that? Like? Did you have
- 24:22Speaker 1: any experiences were like damn, this bit like you need
- 24:33Speaker 1: to calm down. I haven't. I haven't. I I really
- 24:37Speaker 1: cope and UM coach my clients through what I expect
- 24:43Speaker 1: um and they usually performed like um when there's time
- 24:48Speaker 1: to cut off that doula client relationship like hey, okay,
- 24:52Speaker 1: we're done. You know I can't keep calling. You can't
- 24:54Speaker 1: keep calling me at two am. You know those type
- 24:57Speaker 1: of things. So those are things I established in the beginning.
- 25:00Speaker 1: So at the end I won't be like damn, because
- 25:07Speaker 1: that would be me, Susan. I ain't gonna lie. You'd
- 25:09Speaker 1: be like, uh, tam you call it? The baby is three? Fun?
- 25:14Speaker 1: Do you want? That's like only special people like right
- 25:23Speaker 1: the hand of that type of ships. So, UM, do
- 25:32Speaker 1: you do you recommend uh that people actually have dolers
- 25:39Speaker 1: versus going to hospitals at all, like going to like
- 25:43Speaker 1: regular traditional doctors. Would you recommend that every all black
- 25:47Speaker 1: women just have doulas. I would recommend well, I would say,
- 25:52Speaker 1: for one, you can have a duet inside the hospital,
- 25:56Speaker 1: especially in like rural areas where there's not a lot
- 26:00Speaker 1: of you know, birthing centers and um midwives in the
- 26:04Speaker 1: area to come to your home birth. There is the
- 26:07Speaker 1: option of having a hospital birth, but you can't have
- 26:10Speaker 1: a duel inside that hospital birth. UM, but I do.
- 26:13Speaker 1: I will recommend every Black woman to birth that home
- 26:17Speaker 1: to birth with a midwife, into birth with the doulah,
- 26:20Speaker 1: those three things period, because at the end of the day,
- 26:24Speaker 1: there is something broken inside of the hospital system to
- 26:29Speaker 1: brest in medicine and something broken, and we are being
- 26:32Speaker 1: fought for it. It works, It's not broken because it worked.
- 26:36Speaker 1: It worked doing what it's supposed to do to us
- 26:38Speaker 1: right in particular right, and it's it definitely needs a change.
- 26:44Speaker 1: So that's why I definitely recommend every Black woman, even
- 26:47Speaker 1: if even if there isn't a chance that you cannot
- 26:51Speaker 1: um have a home birth in the area that you
- 26:53Speaker 1: are in, how are that duel? How are that duel
- 26:56Speaker 1: is to come into the hospital with you? And I mean,
- 26:59Speaker 1: I guess when will think about having to pay for
- 27:01Speaker 1: a doula or even a midwife, the the amount of
- 27:04Speaker 1: money you pay for for a hospital birth, it's probably
- 27:08Speaker 1: three to four times more than the money you could
- 27:10Speaker 1: just put aside to you know, finance a dula and
- 27:14Speaker 1: a midwife, have your video at home, like I would
- 27:17Speaker 1: definitely have my child. I'm not interested in all these
- 27:21Speaker 1: people in the room, right, I don't know, don't suck
- 27:24Speaker 1: with it when I'm trying to have birth. UM, there's
- 27:28Speaker 1: different type of duelas right, there's not just a birthing
- 27:31Speaker 1: duelas to tell us about a couple of different um
- 27:34Speaker 1: types of duels. So, UM, but a mom can expect
- 27:37Speaker 1: from him. You have a postparton duo UM, and that
- 27:41Speaker 1: postparton dula usually helps them after birth, after birth the
- 27:44Speaker 1: three to six months down the line, things like that
- 27:47Speaker 1: you have UM a death dula and that's a dula
- 27:51Speaker 1: that supports when UM a child has passed away UM
- 27:56Speaker 1: during the pregnancy or during the birth. UM, you have
- 27:59Speaker 1: a boy, she can do us do us who support
- 28:01Speaker 1: women who would want to go have an abortion? UM,
- 28:05Speaker 1: who'll spect you do as they do everything? UM. All
- 28:09Speaker 1: the postpartum person supposed to birth doer. You have fertility
- 28:13Speaker 1: doers who help women become pregnant. UM. So there's a
- 28:17Speaker 1: lot of different types of doers depending on the need
- 28:20Speaker 1: of the woman. Okay, what type of duel are you?
- 28:24Speaker 1: I'm a birth doer and a postpartum do it. Okay,
- 28:28Speaker 1: so I can't call you three years after the baby
- 28:30Speaker 1: been born. That's not three years. But listen, long as
- 28:37Speaker 1: long as you're willing to keep on paying, I will
- 28:40Speaker 1: be there. I would there. You're gonna be high as
- 28:43Speaker 1: hell girl. So all right, we're uh do lahs and midwives.
- 28:52Speaker 1: Let's say a woman is having a baby, she's actually
- 28:56Speaker 1: in the act of having a child. Can she get
- 28:58Speaker 1: an epidural? But she gotta have natural breaths, not at home. Yeah,
- 29:02Speaker 1: it's all natural. So that's another thing that you sign
- 29:05Speaker 1: up for when you are um doing a homebirth, you
- 29:09Speaker 1: are signed up for all natural. You gotta be a
- 29:11Speaker 1: big woman. You gotta be a big, big, big girl.
- 29:14Speaker 1: And I know it. I know it hurts, but that's
- 29:16Speaker 1: what that dost for it and that's why we are
- 29:18Speaker 1: there to help you do different things to manage that pain.
- 29:21Speaker 1: We do different positions. Um, we put you in different
- 29:26Speaker 1: things and give you different things to just help you
- 29:29Speaker 1: with that pain. Because, like you said, it's also all natural.
- 29:33Speaker 1: Can you give me some examples of some of those things, yes,
- 29:36Speaker 1: because if I'm gonna need y'all to roll me up
- 29:39Speaker 1: of blood. Like, hey, I sad. Clients act like, hey,
- 29:43Speaker 1: can I at least have some CBD. I'm like, whatever,
- 29:47Speaker 1: you whatever you need to do, all right? Of course,
- 29:53Speaker 1: just walking, we do curb walking. Uh. We do positions
- 29:57Speaker 1: with the roboso um, which is a sticking tool that
- 30:01Speaker 1: we use for birth um, hands and knees, lunges. So
- 30:06Speaker 1: it's a it's a lot of like active little workouts. Um,
- 30:09Speaker 1: we're on the birth ball. We can get you in
- 30:12Speaker 1: your bathtub. If we don't have a birth pool, we
- 30:14Speaker 1: can do birth birth pool or backtub exercises to help
- 30:19Speaker 1: believe that pain um tense machines, accupesture massages for all
- 30:25Speaker 1: types of different little things, y'all don acupuncture. Wow, Okay,
- 30:31Speaker 1: when should someone hire a doa like? So you just
- 30:34Speaker 1: find out your pregn you oh you did say you?
- 30:36Speaker 1: Um have been with some moms from the time they
- 30:38Speaker 1: tee on the stick. But usually when do people hire
- 30:42Speaker 1: a door, usually they hire them after they get their
- 30:44Speaker 1: first appointment and they find out their estimated to dates. Okay,
- 30:51Speaker 1: mm hmm, I'm still thinking about all right. So let's
- 30:55Speaker 1: say we're doing a natural birth and the baby is breached,
- 31:02Speaker 1: didn't you just rush into a hospital or like what
- 31:05Speaker 1: is that? Because then you don't almost have to go
- 31:08Speaker 1: to the hospital, right, No, No, that's that's where we're
- 31:11Speaker 1: taking you know, that's what we're taught. But with a
- 31:13Speaker 1: trained mint wife who knows what they're doing, they will
- 31:16Speaker 1: be able to deliver that baby breach um. And that's
- 31:19Speaker 1: the thing most that we're taught that you know, if
- 31:22Speaker 1: your baby's breached up, that's it. There's no vaginal bird,
- 31:26Speaker 1: there's your c section and not knowing there's so many
- 31:30Speaker 1: different things that you can at least try to do
- 31:33Speaker 1: to help get baby to turn. Also, waiting, you know,
- 31:37Speaker 1: they say thirty seven weeks, but you have a true
- 31:40Speaker 1: forty two weeks to wait until your baby is safely
- 31:43Speaker 1: come so baby can flip any time. Um. But with
- 31:48Speaker 1: that train mint wife, they will be able to deliver
- 31:51Speaker 1: that baby safely, no problem. What do you think about? How? Um? What?
- 31:56Speaker 1: I just had a class in its past um weekend
- 31:59Speaker 1: and one of my classmates she's pregnant. This is her
- 32:01Speaker 1: first baby. You know we all always okay, So she
- 32:06Speaker 1: was saying, like her induced date, they already gave her
- 32:08Speaker 1: an induced date for for November, but her due date
- 32:12Speaker 1: isn't until December. What do you think about them inducing
- 32:15Speaker 1: pregnancies because you just said weight right, wait until the
- 32:18Speaker 1: baby is ready to come, because I think it's uh
- 32:21Speaker 1: important for the baby to come through the birth canal. Right,
- 32:24Speaker 1: So what do you think about how doctors are quick
- 32:26Speaker 1: to give black women's a lot of C sections. I
- 32:29Speaker 1: feel like they just want to scar us um and
- 32:33Speaker 1: just making sure you know, UM, you aren't Russian the
- 32:38Speaker 1: process right. I feel like it's very selfish and they
- 32:43Speaker 1: most of the time, I only think about themselves. They
- 32:46Speaker 1: could be planning for vacation, or they have so many
- 32:50Speaker 1: women that they just want to get it knocked out.
- 32:52Speaker 1: You know, so different things UM that comes into play
- 32:56Speaker 1: with induction. Induction is not always bad, but when it's unnecessary,
- 33:01Speaker 1: it can lead to a lot of interventions that we
- 33:04Speaker 1: don't want to happen. UM. So for women, especially Black women,
- 33:09Speaker 1: we have to educate ourselves and understand the process of
- 33:13Speaker 1: births UM. And if there's no medical reason to induce
- 33:18Speaker 1: the benefits of waiting until labor naturally starts on its own,
- 33:26Speaker 1: So what's the benefits? Um? You allow the baby to
- 33:29Speaker 1: develop their lungs, foods more. Um. Being able to carry
- 33:36Speaker 1: full term and deliver full term is better than having
- 33:41Speaker 1: a thirty five week old baby that's been induced or
- 33:45Speaker 1: c section or anything like that, because it gives them
- 33:47Speaker 1: more time to just develop and grow and get all
- 33:51Speaker 1: those extra benefits and nutriments that you provide through your
- 33:54Speaker 1: precenta and things like that. Mhm, yeah, because I think
- 34:00Speaker 1: got read like they pick up like a certain bacteria
- 34:03Speaker 1: that the baby needs that comes when coming through the
- 34:05Speaker 1: birth can now that you miss when you have c
- 34:08Speaker 1: sections and stuff like that. So do you think that
- 34:11Speaker 1: plays a part in like, well we said development of
- 34:14Speaker 1: the baby, but maybe even having um. There's a lot
- 34:19Speaker 1: of children now for whatever reason, they have autism. A
- 34:21Speaker 1: lot of black boys in particular that have autism. So
- 34:25Speaker 1: I wonder what the correlation between UM, c section and
- 34:31Speaker 1: vaccination men got to do with you know what's happening
- 34:36Speaker 1: with with with the black boys in particular. Yes, especially
- 34:40Speaker 1: with vaccines. A lot of we we are just not educated.
- 34:43Speaker 1: We're taught, Oh you got it two plus years ago.
- 34:46Speaker 1: So it's just still be safe. You have to look
- 34:49Speaker 1: into those things and it's okay to then that mine
- 34:52Speaker 1: they change just like the medicine on the shelf. It changes,
- 34:56Speaker 1: so everything changes and you just have to be educated
- 34:59Speaker 1: to know that you know, it may not be the same.
- 35:03Speaker 1: I've definitely read and seen a lot of stories of
- 35:06Speaker 1: women saying, you know that their child was normal and
- 35:09Speaker 1: they was advanced and they were smart, and then they
- 35:11Speaker 1: went to get there three year old vaccines and then
- 35:15Speaker 1: they start to see signs of autism and signs of
- 35:18Speaker 1: them decelerating. So different things like that has to show
- 35:22Speaker 1: you that, Okay, it must be something that we need
- 35:25Speaker 1: to look more into before we just sign up because
- 35:28Speaker 1: medical standard, because the school wants you to have vaccination. Wait,
- 35:34Speaker 1: there's homeschooling, so there's different options. But we just have
- 35:37Speaker 1: to be educated. Do you promote do you promote like homeschooling?
- 35:42Speaker 1: And I don't really want to ask your stance on vaccination,
- 35:47Speaker 1: but is that something you kind of coach moms on, like, hey,
- 35:52Speaker 1: you know, how do you feel about this because you
- 35:54Speaker 1: have influenced Yes, well I do. I do ask them.
- 35:58Speaker 1: I never want to pers the way them in a
- 36:00Speaker 1: way that I would personally go because at the end
- 36:02Speaker 1: of the days, their child and that's definitely what the
- 36:05Speaker 1: doctors do there Hey, you know you have to do
- 36:08Speaker 1: this because if not, you're gonna kill your baby or
- 36:10Speaker 1: you're gonna put your baby at risk. So I never
- 36:13Speaker 1: want to be like that. So I always educate them.
- 36:15Speaker 1: Ask them first, hey, how do you feel about this?
- 36:18Speaker 1: What do you feel about this? Um? And then educate
- 36:20Speaker 1: them Black I have a client um. Mom didn't want circumcision,
- 36:25Speaker 1: but dad wanted sig decision, and they asked my personal
- 36:27Speaker 1: opin um. I said, I would give my son circumcise,
- 36:32Speaker 1: but I also would leave it up to the dad
- 36:35Speaker 1: to make that decision only because he's a man. He
- 36:39Speaker 1: has to live with it. He knows, just like if
- 36:42Speaker 1: there was a situation with us as a woman, they
- 36:46Speaker 1: don't have no right. So it's up to you because
- 36:49Speaker 1: you are a woman, and whatever you say, you know.
- 36:52Speaker 1: But also just communicate. But yeah, I definitely don't try
- 36:56Speaker 1: to just force my opinion, but I definitely just try
- 36:58Speaker 1: to guide and edgue cake and provide resources so they
- 37:02Speaker 1: can make their own choice. What's the benefits of circumcision?
- 37:06Speaker 1: Like I'm confused about, like why they dick came with
- 37:10Speaker 1: that extremity. I honestly do not know. I honestly do
- 37:15Speaker 1: not know. I have to do some more research on it.
- 37:18Speaker 1: It's biblicult. Yeah, people get circumcised. It's some Bible ship.
- 37:22Speaker 1: So yeah, if the dick came that way, it should
- 37:24Speaker 1: probably stay that way. It takes away sensation, you know
- 37:28Speaker 1: when you cut that ford skin off, Like it's it's
- 37:31Speaker 1: a religious thing why babies are circumcised, because if you
- 37:35Speaker 1: look at muslimen, a lot of them are not circumcised. Um,
- 37:40Speaker 1: go ahead, sorry, Susan. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
- 37:45Speaker 1: that's so true. That is definitely so true. Um. But
- 37:50Speaker 1: they I know, there's there's benefits and circumcis circumcising, but
- 37:54Speaker 1: they also said there's benefits and not circumcising, And they're saying,
- 37:59Speaker 1: you know, you just need to teach propericness and different
- 38:02Speaker 1: things like that when you're not circumcised. Right, That's what
- 38:05Speaker 1: I say. It's just a personal opinion. It's definitely a
- 38:08Speaker 1: personal opinion. Like, I don't know how true this is,
- 38:11Speaker 1: but I did research it on the internet. One time
- 38:13Speaker 1: I was talking about circumcision. It said that that foreskin
- 38:17Speaker 1: is for the man to like remove the previous man's
- 38:21Speaker 1: sperm from the vagina. Probably why they sell they say
- 38:29Speaker 1: it smells yeah, So that means you're not supposed to
- 38:34Speaker 1: be monogamous if the man is equipped to get rid
- 38:37Speaker 1: of the other man's first you know, right right, I
- 38:43Speaker 1: think it's just about cleaning. You gotta if you if
- 38:45Speaker 1: you're a man and you're uncircumcised, you don't want your
- 38:48Speaker 1: son to be circumcised, right, You're gonna have to teach
- 38:52Speaker 1: him how to clean that thing. I think that's what
- 38:54Speaker 1: it balls down to. It gets because I had this
- 38:57Speaker 1: friend in England and she said that her man was
- 39:01Speaker 1: uncircumcised and he would want her to and suck his dick,
- 39:03Speaker 1: but he would have cheesy bits. He would always have
- 39:06Speaker 1: those cheesy bits like yeah you know, uh uh and
- 39:15Speaker 1: then I don't know, uh you know, sentiment to crunch dick.
- 39:23Speaker 1: So how would you describe your dula style? Like what
- 39:26Speaker 1: are do doula? St house? So I'm putting these questions
- 39:29Speaker 1: from the bump and they said the extra doula, what
- 39:31Speaker 1: is her duela style? What's my dat style? I would say,
- 39:36Speaker 1: I'm a funda calm, very patient, very knowledgeable. Um, I
- 39:45Speaker 1: don't play. I'm very u passionate about my clients. So
- 39:51Speaker 1: anytime they tell me anything. I'm like, on go for them,
- 39:55Speaker 1: making sure that I do whatever I need to do
- 39:58Speaker 1: to get them the information they need. Um, if they're
- 40:02Speaker 1: having a problem with the doctor, I'm like, hey, let
- 40:04Speaker 1: them know. You know, you don't have to be scared.
- 40:06Speaker 1: I motivate them to like, no, tell them because at
- 40:09Speaker 1: the end of day, you you're paying them. They're not
- 40:12Speaker 1: paying you, You're paying them. So I would say my
- 40:14Speaker 1: style is just fun, all all in and just passionate.
- 40:20Speaker 1: So it's it's giving black mamas. Yeah, and I'm young,
- 40:25Speaker 1: so so they probably don't expect it. And I've worked
- 40:28Speaker 1: with you know a lot of women that's older than me. Um,
- 40:32Speaker 1: so they I'd probably be on them like a mama. Yeah.
- 40:37Speaker 1: Is there any certain type of training that you've had
- 40:39Speaker 1: to have in order to like to be certified for this? Yes. Um.
- 40:43Speaker 1: I went through the National Black Duders Association with Tracy
- 40:47Speaker 1: on Collin. She um started this organization to train black
- 40:51Speaker 1: dude and that's who I went with for training. UM
- 40:56Speaker 1: and I also got set a part with them, no stoke. Um,
- 41:02Speaker 1: what what advice would you have for a woman who
- 41:05Speaker 1: wants to become a doula, for a woman that wants
- 41:10Speaker 1: to become a do it. I would say you have
- 41:12Speaker 1: to have passion, like you really have to want to
- 41:16Speaker 1: do this because you want to see black women thrive.
- 41:20Speaker 1: You want us to be saved, and not because you
- 41:25Speaker 1: personally had a bad birth experience and you want to
- 41:27Speaker 1: save the black women or you want to save us
- 41:30Speaker 1: from not having that experience, because at the end of
- 41:33Speaker 1: the day, having a doula it's so beneficial. But also
- 41:39Speaker 1: birth is birth, and birth is unpredictable, and there's some
- 41:42Speaker 1: things that we just cannot control. So you can't go
- 41:47Speaker 1: in thinking that you're gonna save everybody, and you can't
- 41:50Speaker 1: go in thinking like, don't be rich, I'm gonna take
- 41:53Speaker 1: all these people money, because it's not about that either. Um,
- 41:56Speaker 1: So you definitely really just have to have the passion
- 41:59Speaker 1: and real goal of why you are doing this, why
- 42:03Speaker 1: are you doing this work. Hopefully by the time I
- 42:06Speaker 1: have a baby, I want to have Erica. If I do,
- 42:09Speaker 1: I know, I want to work with her so bad.
- 42:12Speaker 1: I'm like I'm like d m her on Instagram, I'm like, hey,
- 42:16Speaker 1: I just want to see at your feet, like I
- 42:18Speaker 1: just want to learn from you whatever. I need that
- 42:23Speaker 1: type of energy in the room when I have a baby. Yes, Um,
- 42:27Speaker 1: have you ever had an experience where one of the
- 42:30Speaker 1: women that you were working with lost the baby? I haven't,
- 42:34Speaker 1: Thank god, I haven't had any like unsuccessful stories of
- 42:39Speaker 1: no passing of any Black women and babies, so that
- 42:43Speaker 1: I'm grateful for. I was reading this article on I
- 42:53Speaker 1: don't know if y'all I got this app call medium,
- 42:56Speaker 1: but I just found it real interesting. So the the
- 42:59Speaker 1: the tidle of the article was a doula's role in
- 43:02Speaker 1: a medicalized birth and the danger of glorifying natural birth
- 43:08Speaker 1: as ideal. And just look at the illustration. You got
- 43:12Speaker 1: the white doctor and the black woman right, So it's
- 43:16Speaker 1: almost like they want to deter black women from having
- 43:19Speaker 1: to at home births and just put our lives in
- 43:22Speaker 1: their hands at the hospital where we are more likely
- 43:25Speaker 1: to die. Like I know a couple of people who
- 43:27Speaker 1: have had home births. I don't know what the statistics are,
- 43:30Speaker 1: and I'll probably look into it to see, you know,
- 43:32Speaker 1: are when women have at home births, like has there
- 43:36Speaker 1: been in these situations where the baby did pass, You
- 43:39Speaker 1: will see people delivering the babies in the cars and
- 43:41Speaker 1: all types of ship on the way to the hospital.
- 43:44Speaker 1: Even just having a baby on your back could cause
- 43:47Speaker 1: you know, issues during childbirth. What you know, like back
- 43:52Speaker 1: in the day, people would have babies in the water.
- 43:55Speaker 1: Just push it straight out, Like why would you be
- 43:57Speaker 1: laying on your back at this angle trying to push
- 44:01Speaker 1: something out? Just think about when you um use the bathroom.
- 44:08Speaker 1: You don't lay on your back bees the bathroom. You
- 44:10Speaker 1: literally standing up squatting. Same thing when you you're pushing
- 44:14Speaker 1: out a baby. M hm. That you should if you
- 44:23Speaker 1: go to the I'm telling you, I never scared. I
- 44:28Speaker 1: can't wait. It's the That's the thing. We should be
- 44:32Speaker 1: more scared of going to the hospital these days. Like
- 44:35Speaker 1: you should feel more safe at home, especially when you
- 44:39Speaker 1: have the right team, because the hospital they be playing games,
- 44:43Speaker 1: baby playing games. I just you know, I've had an experience.
- 44:48Speaker 1: I was pregnant before I end up losing the baby,
- 44:51Speaker 1: but those controls and I was like nearly six months
- 44:55Speaker 1: and uh, those contractions was painful as hell. I can't imagine.
- 45:01Speaker 1: Because I end up having UM. I was scheduled to
- 45:04Speaker 1: have a D and D is that what it's called.
- 45:08Speaker 1: That's just where they take the baby out because the
- 45:11Speaker 1: baby was already deceased inside me. So the night before
- 45:17Speaker 1: it started happening naturally, and them contractions hurt so bad,
- 45:23Speaker 1: and I couldn't imagine if that baby was full term,
- 45:26Speaker 1: what that must have what it would have felt like
- 45:29Speaker 1: pushing that baby out full term? It was. It was.
- 45:32Speaker 1: That's why I keep going because I don't know, you know,
- 45:36Speaker 1: like listen, it's a lot like I just had a birth,
- 45:42Speaker 1: got one foot in the grave, but I believe it,
- 45:44Speaker 1: like you really got one ft in the grave. I
- 45:47Speaker 1: was just had a birth the other day, and due
- 45:50Speaker 1: to the policies with COVID, I wasn't able to be
- 45:53Speaker 1: inside the room, so I was in the libby and
- 45:56Speaker 1: I just heard my mom just screaming. He was just screaming.
- 45:59Speaker 1: And when I seen her the names say, I'm like,
- 46:00Speaker 1: I know he was pushing that baby out because I
- 46:02Speaker 1: could hear it. She was like, yeah, I just like
- 46:05Speaker 1: I tried, but I just had this dream and I'm like,
- 46:07Speaker 1: it's okay. It hurts, it hurts, It hurts, it hurts,
- 46:11Speaker 1: so whatever works. I wish there was like a epper
- 46:18Speaker 1: doula ship y'all been watching? Uh, how did y'all ever
- 46:30Speaker 1: watch King Game of Thrones? Because now they have like
- 46:32Speaker 1: House of Dragons. So it was a line on the
- 46:34Speaker 1: show just recently. The guy was what I guess it
- 46:37Speaker 1: would be an equivalent in the Midwife. She was essentially
- 46:39Speaker 1: saying like, um, like what did she say? Like the
- 46:45Speaker 1: pregnancy and labor and stuff is like the the battlefield
- 46:49Speaker 1: for women. And on this particular scene, like they literally
- 46:52Speaker 1: just cut this baby out of the woman just cut
- 46:55Speaker 1: the baby, y'all didn't give a funk what was about
- 46:57Speaker 1: to happen to her afterwards. He just wanted the king
- 46:59Speaker 1: that are He just wanted the son the ear to
- 47:01Speaker 1: the They both died too, Yeah, the baby, both of
- 47:04Speaker 1: them ended up dying. So imagine, like that's that's rough
- 47:10Speaker 1: to think. That's the type of ship women used to
- 47:12Speaker 1: go through, And yeah, that's how still go to go
- 47:16Speaker 1: through in reality. Even no matter how you birth your baby,
- 47:20Speaker 1: that's all people care about when the baby comes. They
- 47:23Speaker 1: care about that baby. And that's another thing why it's
- 47:26Speaker 1: important to have that do LI because why family and
- 47:28Speaker 1: everybody is on focused on the baby. We are focused
- 47:32Speaker 1: on you your mental health. How are you feeling after
- 47:36Speaker 1: going through this battlefield? How are you feeling after pushing
- 47:39Speaker 1: this baby out or having to be cut open to
- 47:43Speaker 1: get your baby out, different things like that. So it
- 47:46Speaker 1: definitely still has thems. My older sister when she had
- 47:50Speaker 1: my niece, and my niece got a smart mouth now,
- 47:52Speaker 1: and I know my sister to be like, girl, if
- 47:54Speaker 1: you knew what I went through to get your motherfucking
- 47:57Speaker 1: ass here, you shut up. My sister. They she's military,
- 48:01Speaker 1: so she was in the military hospital, which is even
- 48:03Speaker 1: like sometimes it can be like a little crazy. And
- 48:05Speaker 1: there they held her down, They held her arms and
- 48:08Speaker 1: her legs. There was like the baby's like about to
- 48:11Speaker 1: die or something. I don't know exactly what the terminology was,
- 48:14Speaker 1: but they held her arms in her legs and sliced
- 48:17Speaker 1: her open. No anesthesia, no, nothing, just held her and
- 48:21Speaker 1: cut her open. Issues, yes, and she just passed out
- 48:25Speaker 1: from the pain. She said, I just passed out from
- 48:28Speaker 1: the pain and they pulled the baby out. When you're
- 48:33Speaker 1: talking about what twenty years ago, yeah, about almost yeah,
- 48:36Speaker 1: almost twenty years ago, about nineteen years ago. They held
- 48:39Speaker 1: my sister's arms and legs. There was like hold her down.
- 48:43Speaker 1: I was like what what what? They just cut her? Yeah.
- 48:47Speaker 1: That goes to how they think that black women can
- 48:50Speaker 1: just paying that white women can't. And we even get
- 48:53Speaker 1: that type of ship from our own men, like white
- 48:55Speaker 1: women are treated like like so delicately, don't make her
- 48:59Speaker 1: cry with all this fucking care. But I feel like
- 49:03Speaker 1: part of it is our problem, our fault, because we
- 49:05Speaker 1: come in with this the strong woman. Nah, y'all bitches,
- 49:09Speaker 1: We're not strong, no matter we need something. I'm a
- 49:13Speaker 1: damsel and fucking yeah, I couldn't imagine that, Like, how
- 49:19Speaker 1: is that? That's not normal? And I wonder if that
- 49:25Speaker 1: that whatever happened to, you know, a woman of another
- 49:28Speaker 1: ethnic group, Like, why would they do that to a
- 49:30Speaker 1: black woman? Mm hmmm. She said she woke up and
- 49:34Speaker 1: the baby was here, and she was a young She
- 49:36Speaker 1: would have been a young girl at that time too, right,
- 49:38Speaker 1: she was, yeah, like in her early twenties. Wow. But
- 49:43Speaker 1: imagine women giving birth in prison, which oftentimes are black
- 49:46Speaker 1: women too. I know. Um, I don't know if y'all
- 49:49Speaker 1: know Angela Stanton, you know a lot of people she
- 49:51Speaker 1: get a lot of hate because she's a Trump supporter,
- 49:53Speaker 1: was a Trump supporter, but she's a Republican. But she
- 49:55Speaker 1: had her baby in prison, and you know, one of
- 49:59Speaker 1: the things she was a would to get Trump to
- 50:00Speaker 1: do was, you know, make sure that women who are
- 50:04Speaker 1: pregnant in prison have the proper medical attention because she
- 50:08Speaker 1: was strapped down to a to a bead and had
- 50:10Speaker 1: her baby in jail. That would be something good for
- 50:16Speaker 1: doulers though. That's what I was just thinking about. Nonprofit.
- 50:18Speaker 1: That would be a good nonprofit and you will definitely
- 50:20Speaker 1: get support. You can get some government grand shot to um,
- 50:24Speaker 1: you know, just to be a duela for the person
- 50:27Speaker 1: for sure, because you needed sick. Yeah, you need to
- 50:41Speaker 1: look into that because that would be good. It definitely
- 50:45Speaker 1: would be good. If it doesn't already exist, somebody needs
- 50:49Speaker 1: to definitely do that. I wonder if that exists, because
- 50:52Speaker 1: I'm thinking, I'm about to go get my certificate. I'm
- 50:54Speaker 1: telling you what to do. You let I'm not even
- 50:57Speaker 1: get my certification and get this Bible once three popping
- 51:00Speaker 1: right quick, get me some damn government grants to be
- 51:03Speaker 1: given birth in prison. Yeah, you should do that if
- 51:06Speaker 1: you're not already doing it. See, you have to be
- 51:08Speaker 1: like a very patient, for I cannot be. They'd be like, dammy,
- 51:13Speaker 1: you need to calm the funk down. I'm the one
- 51:15Speaker 1: having the baby. Why are you so exciting? Yeah, you're
- 51:21Speaker 1: stressing the mama out, you're stressing the mama out. Yeah. Yeah,
- 51:24Speaker 1: So you gotta you take special people. You gotta be
- 51:27Speaker 1: a special person for that kind of word. W look
- 51:30Speaker 1: flight attendants. M Yeah. I have One time I had
- 51:34Speaker 1: a mom. She was um and this is the mother
- 51:37Speaker 1: in law. She was like, why would this happen? I'm like, listen, lady,
- 51:42Speaker 1: calm down, Calm down. I was like, at the end
- 51:48Speaker 1: of the day, you know, y'all in the hospital, I
- 51:51Speaker 1: can't go and get the hospital policies and I can't
- 51:53Speaker 1: go but what their doctor is telling them, So you know,
- 51:57Speaker 1: pop down a little bit. But you, like you said,
- 52:00Speaker 1: you have to be calm because any of anybody else
- 52:02Speaker 1: could have been like, oh who you're talking to? Like,
- 52:05Speaker 1: you're not gonna talk to me like this, you don't
- 52:06Speaker 1: know my job. But I was like, you know, I understand,
- 52:09Speaker 1: I understand where you're coming from him, but let me
- 52:12Speaker 1: tell you my position and what I'm here to do
- 52:14Speaker 1: and what we're going to do because this is what
- 52:18Speaker 1: they hired me for in a respectful way. So most
- 52:22Speaker 1: of your clients are at home births. Um, let's make
- 52:26Speaker 1: sure of both. So UM, right now, I'm in the
- 52:28Speaker 1: Augusta area and will be. I've been traveling, so I've
- 52:33Speaker 1: been in Atlanta, just all little parts of Georgia my
- 52:37Speaker 1: first two years in business. So they've had hospital births,
- 52:40Speaker 1: home births, unassisted birds, so just been a mixture of
- 52:44Speaker 1: all of them. Unassisted birth so it's just you and
- 52:48Speaker 1: somebody pushing out of bad And that was my first
- 52:53Speaker 1: birth ever. It was an unassisted birth. I was scared,
- 52:56Speaker 1: as I was scared as both, but you know, I
- 53:00Speaker 1: had that energy would need to be done and that's
- 53:03Speaker 1: what happened. And I've had some more since then. But yep,
- 53:07Speaker 1: it's just me them and sometimes their partners, and like
- 53:11Speaker 1: I said, I have to stay in my role, but
- 53:14Speaker 1: in the event anything was to happen, I would have
- 53:17Speaker 1: to like coach them on what to do and call
- 53:20Speaker 1: them not want emergency. I imagine. It's so beautiful though.
- 53:25Speaker 1: I imagine I have to watch those videos. You'll be
- 53:27Speaker 1: watching them videos on Instagram and ship. I watched him,
- 53:32Speaker 1: my best friend you watching them all the time. She
- 53:34Speaker 1: was obsessed with having she manifested her kids because she
- 53:37Speaker 1: would have us in her house watching the videos all
- 53:39Speaker 1: the time, and I'd be in the room. But it's amazing.
- 53:45Speaker 1: There's a lot going on. So do you like, oh, sorry,
- 53:49Speaker 1: go ahead, go ahead. I was just about to say,
- 53:51Speaker 1: like we should stop calling, like you know what men
- 53:53Speaker 1: be like, Oh man, you're acting pussy like pussy is
- 53:55Speaker 1: really strong. What are you talking about? Right? So find
- 53:58Speaker 1: a new word? Right? Did so? I read something here
- 54:09Speaker 1: about um placenta encapsulation. Do you know what that is?
- 54:13Speaker 1: What is that? That's something I do? So basically, that's
- 54:17Speaker 1: where we take the placenta and we um seem it
- 54:22Speaker 1: with herbs and things like that, with her face like
- 54:28Speaker 1: that to um, and then we dry it out and
- 54:32Speaker 1: it turns into this like hard piece of placenta and
- 54:36Speaker 1: we grind it up into powders and put it into pills,
- 54:39Speaker 1: into capsules, and we give it to the mom to
- 54:41Speaker 1: take postparting. And the benefit and that is to help
- 54:45Speaker 1: with milk supply. UM. It can help with decreased um,
- 54:49Speaker 1: feeling of postparting depression or baby blues. It helps your
- 54:53Speaker 1: uterine uterus comes track back to pre pregnancy size, helps
- 54:57Speaker 1: with iron. So all the things that it was providing
- 55:01Speaker 1: to your baby in the womb, you're gonna now take
- 55:04Speaker 1: that and still be able to provide it to them
- 55:07Speaker 1: by breastfeeding and through um giving it to yourself. Right.
- 55:12Speaker 1: So in the hospitals, oftentimes they won't give you a
- 55:15Speaker 1: percenta right. No, you have to advocate for it. You
- 55:18Speaker 1: have to sign a paper for it. And usually most
- 55:21Speaker 1: times when they give it back to you, they want
- 55:24Speaker 1: you to take it out immediately. They don't even want
- 55:26Speaker 1: anything to do with it after that. So why is that?
- 55:31Speaker 1: What do they do? What do they do with the placenta?
- 55:34Speaker 1: They claim they are testing it, but I believe, especially
- 55:39Speaker 1: with our placenta, they're doing more with it. They're definitely
- 55:43Speaker 1: doing more with it. They're definitely doing more with it.
- 55:47Speaker 1: So that's why I always encourage my mom's. Hey, even
- 55:49Speaker 1: if you do not want to do presentsa encapsulation, take
- 55:52Speaker 1: your presents to we can figure out there's so many
- 55:55Speaker 1: different things that you can do with your presents to
- 55:58Speaker 1: um other than consuming it. But just take your assume
- 56:02Speaker 1: somebody else is pusting it to Like could I give
- 56:04Speaker 1: my nigga one of the pills, like one of these?
- 56:08Speaker 1: Yep you could? And like I also do a tinct shire.
- 56:11Speaker 1: So that's where I take a piece of the raw organ,
- 56:14Speaker 1: put it inside like a teacher photto with a hundred
- 56:16Speaker 1: percent a hundred proof alcohol and it's six for six weeks.
- 56:20Speaker 1: And I think that they can drain it and to
- 56:22Speaker 1: start taking that by now, and that can be given
- 56:25Speaker 1: to other children like their other children if they get sick,
- 56:28Speaker 1: given to the husband. They can take it all of
- 56:32Speaker 1: all of the families. That's me m hm. So imagine
- 56:35Speaker 1: that's why the hospital wants your percent to They probably
- 56:37Speaker 1: use it in medicine, all these natural things that they
- 56:41Speaker 1: want to condemn. It's actually good for you, yeah, because
- 56:46Speaker 1: if you look on Google bills and oh it's not
- 56:48Speaker 1: safe too for your pistance encapsulation, it is because it's like,
- 56:52Speaker 1: what are you guys doing with it if it's not
- 56:55Speaker 1: beneficial in some way? Mm hmm. That's interesting. I definitely
- 57:00Speaker 1: learned something with that one. Now, all these pregnant women
- 57:03Speaker 1: number like, are you encapsulating your placanthic? Girl? Can I
- 57:06Speaker 1: have a piece of gonna keep my skin glowing? Look
- 57:12Speaker 1: at you? Yes, that's right. It's a bad placent to
- 57:18Speaker 1: job is such? Is there such thing as bad placenta? Yes?
- 57:23Speaker 1: So within the hospital they will test it. Even when
- 57:27Speaker 1: you take your percents at home, they still want to
- 57:30Speaker 1: test it to see if you have like any infection
- 57:32Speaker 1: anything like that. Um, let's say, if like you have
- 57:35Speaker 1: a fever doing labor and anything like that in an
- 57:38Speaker 1: affection of rose, or if um something happening where um,
- 57:44Speaker 1: something was wrong with your plasinsa during pregnancy, They'll be
- 57:47Speaker 1: able to let us know, so we willn't be able
- 57:50Speaker 1: to encapsulate it if there is an infection or anything
- 57:52Speaker 1: like that instide of it. Okay, So you can't do
- 57:57Speaker 1: that type of testing when you have a home birth,
- 57:59Speaker 1: all right, that would be it would be suggested. It
- 58:01Speaker 1: would be suggested home birth midwives they do examine, so
- 58:05Speaker 1: they will examine it um and do different things, and
- 58:08Speaker 1: if it looks any type of way, they'll let they'll
- 58:11Speaker 1: usually let me know. Okay, mm hmm, alright, So I
- 58:21Speaker 1: think I'm out of questions. You got anything else? Ages, No,
- 58:25Speaker 1: I don't know. I just want way. I want black
- 58:27Speaker 1: women to be safe, man. I want more Black women
- 58:30Speaker 1: to get into home birth, just holistic living altogether. Y'all know.
- 58:34Speaker 1: I'm a whole whole tap as y'all like to call me,
- 58:37Speaker 1: but I'm probably gonna be around time about a hunted. Okay,
- 58:40Speaker 1: I just call you home as long as you have
- 58:44Speaker 1: missed in front bit shi Alright, so, uh, do you
- 58:52Speaker 1: have any advice for our listeners if they're interested in
- 58:57Speaker 1: getting to do it? Research, do your re stage, reach
- 59:01Speaker 1: out and just go for it. Trust yourself, trust that
- 59:06Speaker 1: you can do whatever it is that you put your
- 59:08Speaker 1: mind to when it comes to birthday, and know that
- 59:11Speaker 1: you have options. You got plenty options. That's beautiful. Tell
- 59:17Speaker 1: tell our listeners where they can find you. You guys
- 59:20Speaker 1: can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Susan the
- 59:23Speaker 1: birth Dower, on online ww dot, Susan the birth Dela
- 59:27Speaker 1: dot com and TikTok Susan the birth Dewer. M hm
- 59:33Speaker 1: than thank you. On Instagram, A chocolate is smiling. I
- 59:38Speaker 1: was like, this is y'all went on the show right here. Yeah,
- 59:43Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna get to Erica, but I do so
- 59:44Speaker 1: I'm probably calling your ass whatever, nigga shoot the club up. Yeah,
- 59:50Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick up my baby daddy right now. Thank
- 59:55Speaker 1: you so much girl, You guys, you guys have a
- 59:58Speaker 1: good one. Listen. If guys enjoyed this episode, please tune
- 1:00:01Speaker 1: in every Thursday on your I Heart Radio, Apple wherever
- 1:00:05Speaker 1: you get your podcast that this is your co host
- 1:00:07Speaker 1: aj Holiday two point oh y'all, we live now. Okay
- 1:00:10Speaker 1: www dot We talk back, e n T dot Com.
- 1:00:14Speaker 1: Hit us up, check out the website. We got merchandise coming.
- 1:00:17Speaker 1: All that good ship um um y'all. It's official tam
- 1:00:21Speaker 1: BAM on Instagram, y'all, please follow me. I love y'all.
- 1:00:23Speaker 1: Thank y'all for tuning in once again. Y'all. Remember to
- 1:00:26Speaker 1: speak now and never hold your motherfucking peece bye. Right,