Latest / Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess / Choose Contentment | Episode #513

Transcript

Choose Contentment | Episode #513 · Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess

0:21
Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to today's show, Legacy Living, Make Your
0:27
Speaker 1: Life Count. I'm your host, Dr. Gloria, Gloria Burgess, international
0:34
Speaker 1: leadership expert and trusted advisor. Welcome to Legacy Living, Make
0:42
Speaker 1: Your Life Count. I'm so delighted that you joined me today.
0:49
Speaker 1: Today's episode is all about being on purpose. We are
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Speaker 1: going to talk about what it is, what it means,
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Speaker 1: and why it's so important for people of all ages,
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Speaker 1: why it's important in your family, at work, and with
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Speaker 1: your friends. So, what does it mean to be on purpose,
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Speaker 1: to live on purpose? That's a great question, isn't it?
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Speaker 1: Being on purpose is about being focused, deliberate, committed, and aligned. Focused, deliberate, committed,
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Speaker 1: and aligned with whatever has heart and meaning for you.
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Speaker 1: In other words, being on purpose is about being intentional.
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Speaker 1: Like anything else that you want to nurture yourself. that
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Speaker 1: you want to cultivate as a habit. You have to practice, practice,
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Speaker 1: and then practice some more. That's right. If you want
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Speaker 1: to be more intentional about being on purpose, let me
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Speaker 1: just tell you that now is the time. Don't wait.
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Speaker 1: Today is the day. Now is the time to lighten
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Speaker 1: your load, to drop tomorrow's worries, to say so long
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Speaker 1: to yesterday's baggage. Why? Because today is enough. You are enough.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to make the most of every day.
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Speaker 1: There are no guarantees how many days we will get.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to seek authenticity, to be genuine.
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Speaker 1: Guess what? Being authentic, being genuine will set you apart.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to be you. Take time to
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Speaker 1: discover yourself. Find your unique you. Now is the time
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Speaker 1: to cherish your memories. Relive them. Learn from them. Hand
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Speaker 1: them down to your children. Then go and add to
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Speaker 1: those memories. Now is the time to cherish your family,
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Speaker 1: treasure your time with them. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: look beyond yourself, to think of other people. Look where
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Speaker 1: you can help and do it with selfless passion. Now
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Speaker 1: is the time to try kindness, to step outside of
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Speaker 1: your world. Chances are there are many, many people who
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Speaker 1: are caught up in struggles. Now is the time to
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Speaker 1: spread love. Why? Because it gives us meaning. It brings
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Speaker 1: compassion and gives us new eyes. Now is the time
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Speaker 1: to embrace your challenges. Look upon them as opportunities. Use
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Speaker 1: them to strengthen your resolve to gain wisdom and compassion.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to fight for justice. To stand
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Speaker 1: up when you know something is wrong. To support others
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Speaker 1: who promote righteousness. Now is the time to keep trying.
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Speaker 1: When things are not going your way, believe in yourself.
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Speaker 1: Keep going. Now is the time to watch the sunrise.
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Speaker 1: Sense the stillness. Enjoy the warmth. Marvel at renewal. Now
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Speaker 1: is the time to care for our planet. We hold
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Speaker 1: its future in our hands. Make your commitment. Now is
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Speaker 1: the time to find your inner leader. We all have
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Speaker 1: an inner leader. We all have an inner leader within us.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time. Now is the time to live
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Speaker 1: in the present Your time is precious. Spend it wisely.
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Speaker 1: In other words, now is the time to be intentional.
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Speaker 1: Now is the time to be on purpose. Now is
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Speaker 1: the time to celebrate the amazing, magnificent music of your life.
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Speaker 1: Because As I always say, in the grand song of
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Speaker 1: the universe, life is short and very, very precious. So
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Speaker 1: make the days in your life count. One of the
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Speaker 1: ways that I keep myself on purpose is to take
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Speaker 1: time to reflect. In fact, I love nothing more than
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Speaker 1: having a few hours each day or an entire day,
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Speaker 1: an entire weekend, to simply kick back and take the
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Speaker 1: time to reflect. Now reflection, true reflection, is a time
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Speaker 1: to look again. Traditionally, especially in Western culture, we take
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Speaker 1: time to reflect at the start of of the new year, right? Now,
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Speaker 1: why do we do this? Because the new year is
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Speaker 1: considered to be a time of new beginnings, a time
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Speaker 1: of transition, doorways, gates, passages, and endings. In fact, our
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Speaker 1: month of January is named after Janus. In Roman myth
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Speaker 1: and religion, Janus is usually depicted as having two faces
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Speaker 1: since he looks to the future and to the past.
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Speaker 1: So in Western culture, and I probably should say Northern
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Speaker 1: Hemisphere Western culture, we often think of January as an opening,
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Speaker 1: the doorway to new beginnings, to transitions, and to endings.
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Speaker 1: So January opens the door to reflection. Well, that's great.
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Speaker 1: That's all well and good, right? However, you know what?
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Speaker 1: We can open that door to reflection at any time
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Speaker 1: of the year. We can step back. and take time
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Speaker 1: to reflect on our life whenever we want to be
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Speaker 1: intentional about taking stock of where we are, where we've been,
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Speaker 1: and where we want to go. Let me ask you
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Speaker 1: a question. Do you know how to be reflective? I
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Speaker 1: often incorporate reflection into the courses I teach, And I
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Speaker 1: always include reflection when I lead retreats. Why? Because reflection
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Speaker 1: is one of the many ways we can slow down
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Speaker 1: so that we can remember who we are, whose we are,
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Speaker 1: and what's important to us. When we take time to
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Speaker 1: pause and slow down from our typical hectic pace, and
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Speaker 1: to breathe, we actually usher in the spaciousness of time.
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Speaker 1: We actually have the time to become conscious and aware
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Speaker 1: and to digest and metabolize what we've achieved or accomplished.
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Speaker 1: When we consciously and intentionally digest and metabolize who we are,
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Speaker 1: whose we are, and what we do, we can actually
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Speaker 1: then begin to integrate all of that into our lives.
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Speaker 1: Now reflection doesn't have to be hard work, but make
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Speaker 1: no mistake about it, it is work. Here are some
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Speaker 1: questions you can ask yourself to help you track, digest, metabolize,
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Speaker 1: and integrate the various arenas of your life. Now, I'm
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Speaker 1: going to invite you to write these questions down. Okay,
9:45
Speaker 1: so grab a pen, pencil, your notepad, your iPad, whatever
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Speaker 1: you happen to have. Here are the questions. What goals
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Speaker 1: or milestones have I achieved? What goals or milestones have
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Speaker 1: I achieved? What can I improve on? Where am I stuck?
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Speaker 1: What is keeping me stuck? Or holding me in place,
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Speaker 1: holding me back? Now, again, these are questions to help
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Speaker 1: you track, digest, metabolize, and integrate the various arenas of
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Speaker 1: your life. And I'm going to repeat those questions in
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Speaker 1: case you were, you know, running around trying to get
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Speaker 1: your notepad. What goals or milestones have I achieved? What
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Speaker 1: can I improve on? Where am I stuck? What's keeping
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Speaker 1: me stuck or holding me in place? What's holding me back, right? Now,
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Speaker 1: we all lead such busy, busy lives that our accomplishments,
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Speaker 1: our achievements often get buried in the daily minutia. We
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Speaker 1: forget or we don't even notice sometimes our own efforts.
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Speaker 1: That's why I like to take a moment to remember
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Speaker 1: all the people I've met The meetings I've had, the
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Speaker 1: conferences I've attended, the articles or posts or books I've written,
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Speaker 1: the projects I've tackled, the things I've read. Doing so
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Speaker 1: helps me become conscious of how I've moved forward as
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Speaker 1: well as what threw me off track. Right? The things
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Speaker 1: that were not aligned with who I am and whose
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Speaker 1: I am. Reflection can actually help you get clarity about
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Speaker 1: how to stop living on autopilot and start living the
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Speaker 1: life you want, which is the kind of life we
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Speaker 1: all want, right? And that's a life of satisfaction and contentment. Well,
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Speaker 1: that sounds pretty wonderful to me. How about you? And
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Speaker 1: did you know you can start today? You can begin
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Speaker 1: nurturing and cultivating your own contentment. today. That's right. Here's
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Speaker 1: how you do it. Here are a few tips for
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Speaker 1: cultivating contentment in your life. Now, despite what you see
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Speaker 1: in the movies or read in romance novels or fairy tales,
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Speaker 1: true contentment doesn't just magically happen to you. Poof! No.
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Speaker 1: That kind of life doesn't just magically appear But it
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Speaker 1: is something you can make happen. In fact, it's something
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Speaker 1: you can actually cultivate. So let's take a look at
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Speaker 1: what this is all about. Science tells us what spiritual
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Speaker 1: leaders have known and told us for thousands of years.
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Speaker 1: What's that? We can all be happy. We can actually
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Speaker 1: take charge. we can actually control our own contentment. Science
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Speaker 1: tells us that circumstances make very little difference in how
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Speaker 1: contented people are. In fact, research reveals that happiness, which
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Speaker 1: is a key aspect of contentment, is due to personality.
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Speaker 1: More importantly, we can change our thoughts, and behaviors, which
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Speaker 1: means we can actually learn how to shift our pattern.
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Speaker 1: So yes, you can learn how to be happy, or
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Speaker 1: at least happier, right? Now, many of us believe that
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Speaker 1: happiness is the result of having oodles and oodles of money,
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Speaker 1: you know, being rich, wealthy, or being beautiful, or being
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Speaker 1: blissfully thin, or being free from the very real dangers
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Speaker 1: of being stressed out. But, here's the reality. Most of
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Speaker 1: the folks who are financially well-off, or so-called beautiful by
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Speaker 1: the world's standards, and even those who are less stressed,
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Speaker 1: guess what? They are not happier, on average, than those
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Speaker 1: who don't enjoy financial wealth, or beauty, or lower stress
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Speaker 1: in their lives. People who are happy seem to know
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Speaker 1: that their happiness is the result, that their happiness is
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Speaker 1: the sum total of their choices in life. Okay? So
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Speaker 1: it's a sum total of the choices that we make.
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Speaker 1: Those who are happy, those who routinely experience contentment in
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Speaker 1: their lives, have built their lives and their lifestyle on
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Speaker 1: a similar foundation. And guess what? You can too. Let's
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Speaker 1: take a look at what I call the five intentional
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Speaker 1: pillars of contentment. The five intentional pillars of contentment. The
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Speaker 1: first pillar is all about devoting time and energy to
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Speaker 1: your relationships. The second pillar is appreciating who you are
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Speaker 1: and what you have. The third pillar is about cultivating
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Speaker 1: an optimistic attitude. The fourth, having a steadfast sense of purpose.
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Speaker 1: And the fifth one, the fifth pillar, is living in
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Speaker 1: the present moment. So let's take a closer look at
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Speaker 1: each one of these pillars. Now the first one is
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Speaker 1: devoting yourself to your relationships, devoting time and energy. One
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Speaker 1: of the best gifts we can give to someone else
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Speaker 1: is the gift of attention. For many people, that's what
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Speaker 1: love is, attention. We can give our attention to those
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Speaker 1: we love in many, many ways. These days, listening, simply listening,
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Speaker 1: can be a huge gift. In a lovely little book
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Speaker 1: called A Father's Book of Listening, Dr. Mark Brady teaches
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Speaker 1: us how to be a great listener. In this book,
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Speaker 1: Brady focuses on a father and son relationship. But one
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Speaker 1: of the reasons I love this gem of a book
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Speaker 1: is that you can apply his lessons to any kind
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Speaker 1: of relationship. His pearls of experience and wisdom apply to
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Speaker 1: our friendships, our relationships with our teammates at work, our
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Speaker 1: relationships with our spouses, even with people we don't know
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Speaker 1: yet but would like to know better. He says, when
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Speaker 1: we listen, when we listen to people, often what we
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Speaker 1: listen for are the things we understand or the things
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Speaker 1: we agree with. We actually find great comfort in discovering
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Speaker 1: the ways that they are like us. Now, when our
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Speaker 1: kids or other people say things or act differently than us, it,
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Speaker 1: you know, can make us uncomfortable. And when they turn
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Speaker 1: out to be very different from us, it can make
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Speaker 1: us extremely uncomfortable. We don't necessarily like to see or
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Speaker 1: hear about differences. Brady goes on to say, a listening
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Speaker 1: father deliberately seeks out and pays attention to the ways
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Speaker 1: our kids are different from us. And that's the same
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Speaker 1: thing we do in our other relationships, right? We begin
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Speaker 1: to appreciate the ways they've been shaped, molded, and often
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Speaker 1: distorted by culture. Schooling, family of origin, genetic makeup, and
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Speaker 1: any number of unknown factors. Like snowflakes, no two people,
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Speaker 1: no two children out of the billions and billions are
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Speaker 1: ever exactly alike. Now, after we've learned to listen to
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Speaker 1: differences and to develop an appreciation for them in our kids,
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Speaker 1: our friends, our spouses, our co-workers, we can actually cherish
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Speaker 1: the and celebrate their special uniqueness. This perspective allows us
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Speaker 1: to deeply appreciate the power and beauty in complexity and
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Speaker 1: in diversity. Now here's another thing about contentment. And this
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Speaker 1: might sound simple, but sometimes it's pretty hard to do.
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Speaker 1: So what am I talking about? I'm talking about surrounding
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Speaker 1: yourself with positive people. That's right. Surround yourself with folks
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Speaker 1: who are satisfied and content. Did you know that being
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Speaker 1: in the presence of a positive, contented person actually lifts
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Speaker 1: your own energy, your own vibration, so to speak, which
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Speaker 1: alters or changes your mood. It changes your image. And
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Speaker 1: by being positive yourself, you can actually charge up, so
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Speaker 1: to speak. You can charge up the folks around you.
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Speaker 1: You can change the atmosphere. And in this sense, you
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Speaker 1: are actually giving something back. You're giving something back. And
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Speaker 1: that's a positive change to the people around you. Now
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Speaker 1: that makes a wonderful gift that you can offer to
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Speaker 1: your family, your friends, your co-workers, your neighbors. How cool
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Speaker 1: is that? Your family and friends and other loved ones
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Speaker 1: help you celebrate the music of your life, your joys,
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Speaker 1: your triumphs, your challenges, and your successes. Your family and
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Speaker 1: friends and other loved ones also lend you their support
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Speaker 1: when times are hard. Maybe you just received a difficult
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Speaker 1: diagnosis from your doctor. Or maybe you just learned that
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Speaker 1: your job will be cut or you'll be furloughed. Or
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Speaker 1: perhaps one of your children is going through very difficult times.
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Speaker 1: in a significant relationship. Whatever the challenge is, your family
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Speaker 1: and friends can be a lifeline. And although it's easy
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Speaker 1: to take your lifeline for granted, your support network, your
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Speaker 1: relationships with your family and friends, need nurturing just like
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Speaker 1: any other living, breathing person or thing in our lives.
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Speaker 1: You can nurture and cultivate relationships and build up your
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Speaker 1: emotional bank account, so to speak, through kindness. Kindness in
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Speaker 1: your words and in your actions. So be gentle and
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Speaker 1: gracious with the words you use in conversations, in your emails,
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Speaker 1: in your text messages, and If you must correct or
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Speaker 1: offer a critique, take good care with the words you
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Speaker 1: choose and be gracious in how you offer your critique.
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Speaker 1: Now most of us probably remember this saying from childhood,
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Speaker 1: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can
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Speaker 1: never hurt me. Can I just tell you something? That
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Speaker 1: is a lie. In reality, sticks and stones sometimes hurt
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Speaker 1: far less than the words we use. Words can hurt
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Speaker 1: so badly that even though someone hurled harmful, unhealthy words
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Speaker 1: at you when you were very young, 6, 7, 10,
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Speaker 1: 15 years old, now, as an adult, when you recall
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Speaker 1: those hurtful words, the pain of memory that goes along
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Speaker 1: with those words, the hurt, The shame, the humiliation, the emotion,
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Speaker 1: and the physical pain of those words come flooding back,
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Speaker 1: don't they? Dr. Maya Angelou reminds us that although we
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Speaker 1: will forget what people say, we will never forget how
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Speaker 1: they make us feel. That's so true, so true. So
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Speaker 1: let's talk about pillar number two. And pillar number two
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Speaker 1: is appreciating who you are and what you have. This
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Speaker 1: is all about letting the folks in your life know.
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Speaker 1: Letting them know how much you appreciate them. Not just
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Speaker 1: what they do for you. That's not what this is about.
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Speaker 1: It's also about letting them know how much you appreciate
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Speaker 1: their presence in your life. Let them know how delighted
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Speaker 1: you are that they are part of your life. Now,
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Speaker 1: gratitude is so much more than saying thank you, as
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Speaker 1: most of you know. If you missed my episode on gratitude,
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Speaker 1: be sure to download it and listen to it. Now,
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Speaker 1: gratitude is all about recognizing and acknowledging the power of blessings.
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Speaker 1: That means blessings received, blessings that are present right here
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Speaker 1: and now, as well as all of the blessings that
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Speaker 1: you will receive in the future. Gratitude is also about
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Speaker 1: your sense of wonder and awe and deep appreciation for
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Speaker 1: and thankfulness for life. It's so easy to go through
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Speaker 1: life without recognizing and acknowledging our blessings. I mean, let's
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Speaker 1: face it, for some of us, we have to have
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Speaker 1: something serious happen in our life, like a bad accident
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Speaker 1: or serious illness or some other traumatic event to wake
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Speaker 1: us up, to wake us up enough to appreciate the
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Speaker 1: great people, things, and moments in our lives. Let me
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Speaker 1: tell you something. Do not, do not wait for something
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Speaker 1: tragic to happen to you. Wake up. Make gratitude a
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Speaker 1: practice in your life. Make it a habit. Just like
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Speaker 1: brushing your teeth, eating your meals, exercising, meditating. And I'm
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Speaker 1: going to say begin today. Make your commitment. Each day,
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Speaker 1: notice at least one thing, one thing or person or
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Speaker 1: moment that has blessed your life. Now, if you find
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Speaker 1: yourself being ungrateful or thinking about something negative or just,
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Speaker 1: you know, thinking about something in a negative way, or
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Speaker 1: if you find yourself wanting something that your friend has
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Speaker 1: or your neighbor has, something that you don't have, instead,
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Speaker 1: of wanting and craving and desiring and yearning for what
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Speaker 1: someone else has that you don't, do this. Be grateful
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Speaker 1: for who you are, for your unique strengths and gifts
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Speaker 1: and flaws, all of it. Be grateful for the friends
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Speaker 1: and family you have. Be grateful for the apartment you
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Speaker 1: live in, the house you live in, the street you
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Speaker 1: live on. Be grateful for the family members who support you,
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Speaker 1: the perfect strangers who support you. Be grateful for who
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Speaker 1: you are and what you already have. And I'm not
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Speaker 1: just talking about physical possessions. I'm talking about those qualities,
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Speaker 1: those character qualities that are also a part of who
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Speaker 1: you are. Sometimes we find ourselves thinking bad or negative
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Speaker 1: thoughts about someone else. Sometimes even ourselves, right? Now, if
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Speaker 1: that's you, instead of allowing that negative voice to rule,
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Speaker 1: to take over in your head, I want you to
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Speaker 1: substitute a grateful voice, a grateful thought for your negative one.
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Speaker 1: For example, If your sister forgot your birthday, instead of
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Speaker 1: throwing yourself a pity party and moping around and saying
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Speaker 1: to yourself, my sister forgot to call me on my birthday. Hey,
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Speaker 1: substitute this thought instead. You know what? My sister has
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Speaker 1: always been there for me. Through thick and thin, through
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Speaker 1: good times and bad times, ups and downs, my sister
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Speaker 1: has always been there for me. Well, maybe not all
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Speaker 1: the time, but a lot of the time. Thank you.
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Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you, sister. Before you go to bed,
28:43
Speaker 1: before you go to sleep each night, let gratitude be
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Speaker 1: your last thought. And when you wake up each morning,
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Speaker 1: let gratitude be your very first thought. Give it a go.
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Speaker 1: you will be surprised and happy about how gratitude can
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Speaker 1: actually change your life. So, when you cultivate and practice gratitude,
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Speaker 1: you actually add to your contentment. Now, let's take a
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Speaker 1: look at that third pillar, which is all about cultivating gratitude.
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Speaker 1: Now we know that some people are actually wired to
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Speaker 1: see the glass as half empty. And other people are
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Speaker 1: wired to see the exact same glass as half full.
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Speaker 1: Now if you're one of those people who habitually sees
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Speaker 1: the glass as half empty, then I encourage you to
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Speaker 1: develop a new habit, a new way of seeing and
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Speaker 1: a new way of being. Develop the habit of seeing
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Speaker 1: the positive side of things. Do not let what's negative
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Speaker 1: in the world filter your whole outlook on the rest
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Speaker 1: of your life or on what's going on in the
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Speaker 1: world around you. DeWitt Jones is a friend and an
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Speaker 1: amazing photographer, and he reminds us to celebrate, to celebrate
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Speaker 1: what's right with the world. Now, I just love that
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Speaker 1: because what's good, what's right with the world, far outweighs
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Speaker 1: the negative. If you're not a naturally optimistic person, it
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Speaker 1: could take some time for you to change your pessimistic
30:46
Speaker 1: thinking into optimistic thinking. So be gracious with yourself. Be
30:50
Speaker 1: gentle with yourself. You can begin by simply becoming aware
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Speaker 1: and by noticing your negative thoughts as they filter in.
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Speaker 1: And as they filter in, as they come in, don't judge,
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Speaker 1: just notice. The first step is just noticing. And as
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Speaker 1: your awareness increases, you can then begin to ask yourself
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Speaker 1: a few key questions. Is what is happening right now
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Speaker 1: really as bad as I think it is? That's a
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Speaker 1: great question, right? So when those negative thoughts begin to,
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Speaker 1: you know, come in, flirt by, Ask. It's what's happening
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Speaker 1: right now really as bad as I think it is.
31:33
Speaker 1: Another question is, how might I look at my situation differently?
31:43
Speaker 1: Love that one. Another question is, how might I see one,
31:49
Speaker 1: just one, positive in what's happening right now? Now, I
31:55
Speaker 1: love those how might I questions because How might I
31:58
Speaker 1: is actually what designers ask themselves all the time. So
32:02
Speaker 1: in this way, you're designing a positive stream and interrupting,
32:10
Speaker 1: disrupting that negative stream. So how might I see one
32:16
Speaker 1: positive in what's happening right now? Another question is, how
32:20
Speaker 1: will I express my gratitude? Again, gratitude changes everything. How
32:26
Speaker 1: will I express my gratitude? And another question you can
32:31
Speaker 1: ask yourself is, what can I learn from my experience?
32:38
Speaker 1: What can I learn from my experience? The fourth pillar
32:48
Speaker 1: is about finding your purpose. Now, people who have a
32:53
Speaker 1: mission or a sense of purpose show up differently than
32:57
Speaker 1: folks who don't. have a mission or purpose. Their purpose
33:02
Speaker 1: could be caring for their family, being an exceptional team member,
33:07
Speaker 1: starting and growing a business, or writing books. Whatever their
33:14
Speaker 1: purpose is, they just seem to be more focused, more
33:18
Speaker 1: focused and more contented than those who do not have
33:22
Speaker 1: a purpose. It's been said that the two most important
33:27
Speaker 1: days of your life are are the day you were
33:30
Speaker 1: born and the day you figure out why. Having a
33:36
Speaker 1: sense of purpose gives us our why. In the daily
33:43
Speaker 1: events of your life, your day just goes better when
33:47
Speaker 1: you say yes. When you say yes to the circumstances
33:52
Speaker 1: and opportunities that align with your why. If you're not
33:59
Speaker 1: sure about your purpose, about your why, or if you're
34:03
Speaker 1: kind of sure but not quite clear yet, here are
34:06
Speaker 1: a few questions to ask yourself. The first question is
34:14
Speaker 1: who or what do I love? Not like, but love.
34:20
Speaker 1: Who or what am I passionate about? Now this question
34:24
Speaker 1: is a really important one because Your core relationships provide
34:29
Speaker 1: a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. So
34:32
Speaker 1: be sure to cultivate meaningful, life-giving, and life-affirming relationships and
34:39
Speaker 1: let go of those that are not. Now it's also
34:43
Speaker 1: important because your answer to this question will give you
34:47
Speaker 1: a sense of what brings you satisfaction and contentment in
34:52
Speaker 1: your life. So who or what do I love? Another
34:58
Speaker 1: question to ask yourself is, am I engaged in work
35:03
Speaker 1: that I love? Or if you're a student, am I
35:06
Speaker 1: engaged in studies that I love, right? Now, if you're
35:09
Speaker 1: like most people and you're working, you spend at least
35:13
Speaker 1: 40 hours a week at work. Sometimes much, much more
35:17
Speaker 1: than that, right? When you think about it, you actually
35:20
Speaker 1: spend most of your waking hours working. So, That makes
35:25
Speaker 1: it even more important to be engaged in work that
35:28
Speaker 1: provides you with a deep sense of meaning and purpose.
35:35
Speaker 1: Another question to ask yourself is, what excites and energizes me? Now,
35:42
Speaker 1: if that's a hard question for you to answer, this
35:47
Speaker 1: next question will help you understand what excites and energizes you. Okay?
35:54
Speaker 1: It'll also help you determine who and what you love.
35:58
Speaker 1: This question can help you get more concrete. Okay? So
36:03
Speaker 1: the question is, what are my proudest achievements? What are
36:08
Speaker 1: my proudest achievements? Now, if you can make a list
36:13
Speaker 1: of your proudest moments, your proudest achievements, those special people, moments, circumstances, events,
36:22
Speaker 1: this list will actually point you in the direction of
36:25
Speaker 1: who and what you love, and who and what excites
36:31
Speaker 1: and energizes you. For example, if I were to share
36:35
Speaker 1: my list of my proudest achievements, one of them would
36:39
Speaker 1: be having my daughter. Another would be receiving my doctoral degree.
36:47
Speaker 1: Another would be receiving recognition and awards for my writing.
36:52
Speaker 1: the books I've written or contributed to. I mean, the
36:55
Speaker 1: list goes on and on and on. And then if
36:58
Speaker 1: I review that list, I would actually find some very
37:02
Speaker 1: meaningful clues about what gives me satisfaction and contentment, what
37:10
Speaker 1: gives me my deep sense of meaning and purpose, my why.
37:15
Speaker 1: A final question to ask yourself is this. How do
37:23
Speaker 1: I want others to remember me? Now this question should
37:30
Speaker 1: reveal to you what kinds of qualities you have. Remember,
37:34
Speaker 1: people will forget what you say or do, but they
37:38
Speaker 1: will remember what and how you make them feel. So
37:44
Speaker 1: ask yourself, how do I make people feel? Do I
37:47
Speaker 1: make them feel welcome? Do I make them feel good
37:51
Speaker 1: about themselves? Do I lift them a little bit higher?
37:56
Speaker 1: Do I express love, kindness, generosity, and gratitude to those
38:02
Speaker 1: I know, to those I meet? How do I want
38:07
Speaker 1: others to remember me? Pillar number five is all about
38:17
Speaker 1: living in the moment. Now, a lot of people simply
38:21
Speaker 1: don't understand that today is a gift. I mean, they
38:27
Speaker 1: might get it mentally, intellectually, but they don't really live it.
38:33
Speaker 1: Today is a gift. And you know what? Tomorrow is
38:40
Speaker 1: not promised. That's right. That's what I said. Tomorrow is
38:45
Speaker 1: not promised. In other words, do not put off or
38:51
Speaker 1: postpone your Do not wait for that day when your
38:57
Speaker 1: life is less busy or less stressful. Why? Because that
39:03
Speaker 1: day may never come. Instead, look for opportunities to enjoy
39:10
Speaker 1: your roses today. Look for chances to savor the small moments,
39:18
Speaker 1: the small surprises. the small joys and pleasures of life
39:24
Speaker 1: every single day. 365-24-7 We can learn a lot about
39:35
Speaker 1: how to do this by looking at and by listening to,
39:39
Speaker 1: by paying attention to children. Most of the children I
39:43
Speaker 1: know understand how to live in the present. In fact,
39:48
Speaker 1: they are experts at it. Children focus on the many delights, joys,
39:54
Speaker 1: and positive experiences that are happening right now, in this
39:59
Speaker 1: present moment. We could all take a page out of
40:02
Speaker 1: that book. If we did, we would truly enjoy today
40:08
Speaker 1: instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
40:14
Speaker 1: We can also learn a lot today. by cultivating what Dr.
40:19
Speaker 1: Mark Brady calls beginner's ear. He describes this way of
40:24
Speaker 1: paying attention to the present moment as being open and curious.
40:30
Speaker 1: To gain a sense of what beginner's ear might be like,
40:34
Speaker 1: think about how the sounds of the world affected you
40:38
Speaker 1: as a small child. Can you recall what it was
40:44
Speaker 1: like on a warm summer night? when you heard your
40:48
Speaker 1: very first cricket chirp, and then you heard the smaller details,
40:56
Speaker 1: the rhythm, the silence between chirps, and the answering call
41:04
Speaker 1: of the other crickets. Paying attention to and living in
41:13
Speaker 1: the present moment is paying attention to discriminating details. In fact,
41:21
Speaker 1: this is exactly what we must do to keep things
41:25
Speaker 1: from going in one ear and out the other. When
41:32
Speaker 1: we pay attention to and live in the present, we
41:36
Speaker 1: actually find the cure, the antidote, the remedy to our
41:41
Speaker 1: modern obsession with speed. Speed at any cost, it seems.
41:49
Speaker 1: And the resulting sense of loneliness and alienation that can
41:56
Speaker 1: result from speeding from one adventure to the next, from
42:00
Speaker 1: one relationship to the next, from one experience to the next,
42:04
Speaker 1: without slowing down, to pause, to inhale and exhale. to
42:11
Speaker 1: fully experience and metabolize and appreciate the amazing weeks and months,
42:22
Speaker 1: the awesome moments, the many sumptuous and marvelous details in
42:29
Speaker 1: the days of our lives. We've covered a lot of
42:42
Speaker 1: ground today. So I just want to pause for a
42:48
Speaker 1: moment to breathe, to breathe in, to breathe out, to
42:58
Speaker 1: reflect on and summarize these key notes about contentment, about
43:08
Speaker 1: being on purpose, and living on purpose. Remember, the folks
43:18
Speaker 1: who routinely experience contentment in their lives have built their
43:22
Speaker 1: lives and their lifestyles on the five pillars, the intentional
43:29
Speaker 1: pillars of contentment. They devote time and energy to their
43:33
Speaker 1: family and friends. They appreciate who and what they have.
43:40
Speaker 1: They have an optimistic outlook on life. They have a steadfast,
43:46
Speaker 1: solid sense of purpose and they live in the present moment.
43:54
Speaker 1: So that's how you do it. That's how you live
43:58
Speaker 1: on purpose. That's how you make your life count so
44:04
Speaker 1: that you can be the change you seek. Now remember,
44:10
Speaker 1: How you live is how you lead. It's how you
44:13
Speaker 1: do everything. You have the power to make your world,
44:19
Speaker 1: to make our world a better place. As you delve
44:25
Speaker 1: into your day, I sure hope that it is filled
44:30
Speaker 1: with love and joy and gratitude and grace. All right.
44:38
Speaker 1: I want you to be sure to listen to this
44:40
Speaker 1: episode again and again. And hey, be sure to tell somebody.
44:46
Speaker 1: Tell your family and friends. You can find me right
44:50
Speaker 1: here on iTunes, Audible, Alexa, SoundCloud, iHeart, TuneIn, Springer.com, Talk
44:59
Speaker 1: Network Radio, and so many other places. Now, if you
45:04
Speaker 1: happen to miss any part of this week's show, or
45:08
Speaker 1: if you missed last week's episode, you can simply download
45:12
Speaker 1: the recording and listen to it at your convenience. You
45:16
Speaker 1: can even listen to it on the go. Check us
45:19
Speaker 1: out at www.talknetworkradio.com forward slash hosts forward slash Legacy Living.
45:32
Speaker 1: That's www.talknetworkradio.com forward slash hosts forward slash Legacy Living. You
45:40
Speaker 1: can learn more about my work and Legacy Living Make
45:45
Speaker 1: Your Life Count by visiting the Gloria Burgess website. And
45:50
Speaker 1: you can subscribe to my inspiring words right on my website.
45:54
Speaker 1: Just scroll down a bit, look on the right sidebar
45:58
Speaker 1: until you see the place to add your email to
46:01
Speaker 1: subscribe to my weekly inspirations. It's that simple. So again,
46:07
Speaker 1: to learn more about me and my work, just browse
46:09
Speaker 1: a bit on my website, or visit me on LinkedIn
46:13
Speaker 1: or on Facebook, and you can find me on Facebook
46:17
Speaker 1: at facebook.com forward slash dr, for doctor, dr, Gloria Burgess, P-H-D.
46:27
Speaker 1: You can also check out one of my TED Talks
46:30
Speaker 1: at ted.com. Now before I close today, I want to
46:36
Speaker 1: thank each of you for tuning in to today's episode,
46:40
Speaker 1: for allowing me to share a bit about my journey
46:43
Speaker 1: with what legacy living is all about. Not just living
46:48
Speaker 1: and learning, but living and learning and serving so that
46:53
Speaker 1: you make a difference in your own life and in
46:56
Speaker 1: the lives of others. It's about being on purpose every
47:01
Speaker 1: single day. 365. 24-7. Legacy Living is a powerful way
47:10
Speaker 1: to make your life count. Once again, I want to
47:16
Speaker 1: thank you for joining me for today's show. I'm your host, Dr. Gloria,
47:21
Speaker 1: Gloria Burgess, and this is Legacy Living Make Your Life Count.
47:29
Speaker 1: Please join me again next time right here on Talk
47:33
Speaker 1: Network Radio For another show of Legacy Living, make your
47:38
Speaker 1: life count. Don't just count the days in your life.
47:45
Speaker 1: Make the days in your life count. That's what Legacy
47:51
Speaker 1: Living is all about. Have a fantastic day, and remember,
47:57
Speaker 1: make the days in your life count. God bless you.
48:16
Speaker 1: That's our show today. I'm your host, Dr. Gloria, Gloria Burgess.
48:23
Speaker 1: I hope you'll join me again next time. Until then,
48:27
Speaker 1: don't just count the days in your life. Make the
48:31
Speaker 1: days in your life count. That's what legacy living is
48:36
Speaker 1: all about. Here's to you. Have a fantastic day and
48:40
Speaker 1: be sure to make it a yes kind of day.
48:44
Speaker 1: Remember to celebrate. the music of your life. Make the
48:51
Speaker 1: days in your life count.