Latest / The On Purpose Podcast / Ep. 344 - Chris Avery
Transcript
- speaker-0: You are listening to the On Purpose Podcast. There's a moment in every man's life, especially for veterans, first responders, and men called to lead when the uniform comes off, but the mission doesn't end. Too many try to navigate that transition alone without structure, accountability, or brotherhood. That's why I'm proud to partner with Mission's Purpose, a community built for men who refuse to drift. Inside the school platform, speaker-1: Thanks. speaker-0: You get live calls, challenges, frameworks, and disciplined brotherhood that pushes you to rebuild purpose, direction, and daily structure. If you're ready for the next chapter of your mission, click the link in the show notes to join us inside the Missions Purpose Community on School. You are never meant to walk this road alone. If you run a business, listen up, because my friend, Dr. Elise Rigney, just dropped something every entrepreneur needs. Elise is who we trust for our tax strategy and she put together a free 40 minute breakdown of the new big beautiful bill that will impact you this tax season. This thing changes a lot, deductions, depreciation, write-offs, and most business owners won't understand it until it's too late. We've used her strategies ourselves and they work, so grab her free training at the link in our show notes and get ahead of this bill before it hits your bottom line. What's up everybody? Welcome to this week's show. You know our mission here is to get you thinking, get you moving, getting you wondering if you're making the most of your day today. And I got a guest coming on today who's gonna make sure we're getting the most out of our days, our time together. This week I'm pumped to be joined by Chris Avery, a performance coach known for helping men move from fear, hesitation, and to clarity, discipline, and purpose. What I love about Chris is he shares how he's rebuilt his own life through mindset work and daily consistency, eventually creating a system that's helped thousands develop emotional resilience and strong personal leadership. Like us, like us team, he's someone that likes to push his limits. Having run more than 1,460 consecutive days, averaging 17 miles a day. and preparing for a 2027 mission where he's gonna run 50K a day around the entire perimeter of the United States with his family. Right, think about that, with his family. You know how I believe I have big goals and we share them. This is what I'm talking about. Chris's core message is simple. Most of us are far more capable than we think and we give ourselves credit for. And the simple thing to get in a done team is consistency is how we find it. So Chris, my man, welcome to the show. speaker-1: Thanks, you know, I'm excited to be here, Let's have some fun today. speaker-0: Yeah, for sure man with you I can't help but have so if I got excited just reading your bio and stuff Dude um Yeah, man, i'm so proud. I i'm just I always like to share like what attracts me to people because we're blessed You know i've shared offline. We've been doing this for seven years now. It's 350 some episodes and One of the things I always like to share to guests is how thankful I am that you are being you right and that you have found the strength to share your story so that others can learn from it because speaker-1: Raw. speaker-0: the value of our world and our commonalities in sharing our stories. I want to thank you for finding your voice, sharing the truths that wasn't super easy, and allowing others to frame their journey based off what you did with yours. So thank you for that. speaker-1: Yeah, I appreciate that, man. Thank you. speaker-0: I want to, before we get going though, I gotta warm you up. know you do miles every day, but I don't expect you to sprint right out of the box, I got some warm-ups for you, man. You ready to be warmed up, my friend? All right, first one. What's something you've learned about yourself lately? speaker-1: So. Let's do it. Let's do it. You know what? I'll be honest, man. I got to have more belief. Dude, talk to me about that. Yeah, that might be hard to believe, but I I got to more belief. I can have more trust in myself and trust in God. Uh, it's just, man, when you go through these challenges, like it's been 1500 days now over 1500 days now it's been, you know, there's just, there's, there's challenges. And when you get down and you're outside and you're running and injuries happen when you know, financial struggles come that they've come over the years or when you have two kids during this, like there's just so many things that life brings to you. And like, I know I'm capable, but on the other hand, you have to believe that the end can be achieved. And so sometimes, you know, that, doubt still creeps in my head and I got it. I got to speak to myself and get rid of it and get it out of there. And so, man, I, I really want more belief and I'm a person. Yeah, go ahead. speaker-0: What do you say to yourself? Because we're both believers, right? Like we're both like, 99 % of my life is just because I believed it was possible and I found a way to get it done. But I'm 100 % like you. Like today I wake up and I'm like, man, I'm not sure. Do I got it in me anymore? What do you say to yourself? speaker-1: I say, like I name it. say, I say like, Tom, I'm glad you're here. Thanks for showing back up. Cause he's here to teach me something. He's here to give me value. Like I was talking to my wife about it before this podcast even. And I was just talking, I said, man, like I gotta have more belief, man. We got to like, we got to figure a few things out. You know, there's a, there's a big thing coming at the end of this year that we have a lot of prep to do and a lot of requirements to do, you know? And so I really welcome it. Because if not, like what I've learned, man, is that I fight it. just like whatever you resist must persist. So if I'm fighting myself in my head, I'm already losing because it's going to keep, it's going to keep coming back on me. So I'm a big fan of like accepting it and accepting like, ⁓ man, I feel crappy or like, ⁓ man, I feel like this angst for, because I don't believe right now. Like that's okay. Grateful you're here, Tom. Like let's go, because then we can put our arm around each other and we can walk somewhere together. But if I'm trying to fight it, now we're stuck in one spot. So, man, when I, when I accept it, when I learned to like, accept it, then start to see the value in it, then be grateful for it. That's a three step process, by the way, if anybody's paying attention, write that down, practice it every day. ⁓ you know, then, then I, we can go somewhere together. Yeah. But if not, like, it's like we're playing tug of war and whoever's strongest, but we're both equally strong because it's in our mind. So we're battling ourselves. So, you know, short answer was belief. Long answer was the rest of it. speaker-0: I love it. All right. What's a small habit or ritual that's been giving you energy lately? speaker-1: I mean, I'll be honest just I get up every morning and I pray and I read scriptures and that gives me energy but the thing it is is it aligns me for the rest of the day and so I don't care what like if you are not a prayer or not a scripture like find something in the morning that you even give five minutes to and give it to that because when you start your day with you choosing what you're gonna do instead of being reactive to all the things And then, you know, if you want me to say it that way, I'll say it that way. Like don't get up and just start reacting to things. Five, five minutes of peace, right? Even if it's go outside for a walk, five minutes, go around your block. Yeah. But to me, like the running and, and God, they're all aligned because when I run, when I, no matter how hard day I'm having, when I go run, everything melts away all that. And I think you can, I'm you can speak to that, man. You were just talking about doing trail run. So, you know, that's, that's what I would say. speaker-0: Yeah, I love it. What's something in your life, something or someone in your life right now that's been influencing you, your thinking or inspiring you to challenge the way you're thinking? speaker-1: I got a really good friend named Ricky and I got a really good friend named Z and ⁓ you know as strong I've run for like I said 1500 days now but three months ago I had the flu and I literally thought my streak was gonna end that day but I hit those guys up you know and one of them calls me and he's like man I get your stuff right now like what can you eat and what can you drink and then bomb it back up Just so you get enough, like eat it quick, drink it quick, just so it gives you enough nourishment in your body. So you get some energy. And he said, like, what is it going to take to get started? And to me, it's not about finishing the 17 or 18 miles that we're doing now. It's about getting started. That's the most challenging part for most of us. So, so those are the guys that really stick around me. And you know, I like to say they give me the checkup from the neck up, right? They, they helped me realign. So I go like, ⁓ yep. I was making it all about me. I was making all the suffering about me. I forgot like, here to suffer for you guys, not for me. So when I realized like it's not about me, it's about suffering for somebody else. Then it gets me out of there and they helped me realign that day. And so I think those are the guys really around me that helped. speaker-0: What good friends, man, what good friends. speaker-1: I love to call them teammates, right? Cause like we have friends when we're younger and sometimes they're crappy, but when you have a good team, right? When you have a good teammate, like they're willing to be your friend, but they're also willing not to be your friend at the moment and just challenge you. Cause it may be a good, maybe a nice friend would have said like, ⁓ man, that sucks. have the flu. Yeah. And you know, like, so I like to call them teammates. speaker-0: That's awesome. All right, one last question for you, my friend. When you think about the season you're in, what word or phrase best describes it? speaker-1: adventure. speaker-0: Adventure house. speaker-1: Man, life, life is an adventure. think that right now with, you know, like it's, I want to be honest, like we got the run thing. Yeah. Then we have, then we have a business. Then we, you know, have two young kids. And so to me, like, there is not a moment where you, you don't like, it's not like I go to a job and just get a paycheck and it's just very status quo, like everything. And I mean this truthfully, it's like some fluidity of chaotic. So you're so nothing's predictable. speaker-0: Right. speaker-1: So to me, like, it is a big adventure, you know? speaker-0: Yeah, and I think that's a good word and a good way to look at it because then you don't freak out if things are a little rough because that's what you went on the adventure for, right? If you wanted an easy walk, you just stayed on a paved road. Like when you go off into the creeks and the woods, you're like, ⁓ shit, how do I get across this? speaker-1: Absolutely, I really think, you know, one of my mottos to life is I'm here for one time as far as I know. So I might as well create the most legendary story I can. And if you think about any great book that's based on a true story or a movie that's based on a true story, it's not like, oh, everything works out and it was so easy and everything was so cool and I did it. You know, we're like, oh, it's man, like day one, boom, this sucks. All right, boom. Oh, in the dirt. Okay, back up. Oh, boom again, again. And that's the truth, man. That's the, that's, that is really the story of life. So we might as well create might as well create and make a legendary story out of it. So I love the event. speaker-0: I love that and I it's funny because I always I shed there's two things right there's two things that never started great story One is so there I was and everything went perfect. Nobody cares. Yep. The other one I don't know your eating habits Chris, but I'm pretty sure no good story started with so there I was eating a salad I mean, that just doesn't lead to it, not that it gets solid, but it's not. speaker-1: No, no everything you get sounds they're healthy for you, but they should not be a main meal Okay, I used to say like who eats a salad as a meal. That's crazy talk. Yeah ⁓ speaker-0: That's your warm up. Yeah, man. All right. I love it, Chris. I want to kick off the conversation with you going backwards, because that's one of the things that researching I was really attracted to was you talking openly about spending years stuck in fear and just overthinking life. Talk us through that. And was there a moment when you realized something had to change? speaker-1: Yeah, I mean, like to get deep into the weeds, you know, a lot of that comes from just my childhood of, you know, I was sexually abused and I had drug and alcohol issues for 17 years. So it was a lot of, of feeling fear and angst and worry and stress. I think it's this way. You know, one day I woke up and I just thought like, man, there has to be more to life than this. And when I decided there had to be more to life than this, that means that I knew there was so I could create it. And when we know, like when we have something inside us and we're, pushing it down, cause we're not like giving it, you know, space to grow and learn from. Then I think that starts like that ball of momentum of just crappiness of feeling stuck, of overthinking. And w and it's easy to get into that. And we think if we did, like for me, I thought. when I was sitting at home, I thought, man, if I think about this perfectly, I can really figure out the solution. But then I got around good, like a good person in my life and he just challenged me. And he's like, man, like your life is F'ed up because you're sitting here thinking and overthinking and really that out, like that external challenge. Like it sucked at the moment. I'm going to be honest. Like I wasn't like, this dude's cursing me telling me my life sucks. I'm not pumped about this, you know? But it really kicked on a light bulb. And that was really where things started just to change. It's things started to create momentum in a new way. speaker-0: And what was the first, did you remember back, we're talking about momentum, I'm a big believer in little steps create momentum and we get going and we don't even realize we've been gone so far. Do you remember what that first step was when you're like, wait a second, I can make this change, I am capable of doing this. speaker-1: Man, that's a good question. see. speaker-0: I mean, one, had to at least be having somebody around you that was honest with you. And like you said earlier, it didn't sit and pity party and go like, oh, no, it's beyond your control, dude. Let's just sit here and stay this way forever. speaker-1: Yeah. And I'll say this. I think it's when the pain is so real, right? Because the pain got so real in the past from, from the drugs and alcohol and from my life being crappy. Like when I finally got to that person that was real with me, I was open, willing and ready. But I don't think it comes from like, I don't think it usually comes from the thing we think it comes from. I think it actually comes from the pain and the pain is the catalyst that puts the pressure or breaks you. So you know, like you have to do something different. And so when I look at my past, it was just the intense pain and it just, again, everything, everything has momentum, negative or positive momentum, however you want to say it. But like the drinking and the drugs, that was a negative momentum that puts so much pressure on me. They created like a crushing. So it was more open. And I think that was really, those are the times that really made the difference. speaker-0: Yeah, I like how you phrased that, that pain is the actual catalyst. speaker-1: Yeah. And most of us want to push that pain away, run from it. Yeah, go ahead. speaker-0: That's gonna be my next question. You hear that and you're like, shit, why am I spending all my days trying to avoid anything that's painful if I know that's what's gonna make me grow? speaker-1: Yeah. It's a good question. Yeah. So why is that? Yeah. speaker-0: Cause we don't, yeah, I think it's interesting, right? But like, I mean, let's think about running is pain. Running is an agreement to accept a certain level of pain, right? Like if I can run nine minute miles and I just go out and run nine minute miles, I'm getting a workout, but I haven't really gotten better because I've already done that. But as soon as I'm like, okay, I will accept the pain that's going to come with trying to do an eight minute and 30 minute, eight minute, 30 mile. Well, that's 30 seconds I just took off. That's all pain. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: I love that you say that, right? Because we have a choice when we have pain, we can either like run from it, pretend it doesn't exist, try to avoid it, or to your point, ask yourself, what is it teaching me? What am I supposed to be doing here? speaker-1: I think, I think that's the best thing we can do is extract the value from pain. You're going to get pain one way the other. Yeah. The difference is like, I like to say, choose it, right? You even said the word choose, like choose your pain because at least now when you choose it, you're, know, what's coming. You can learn how to handle it. You're in, you're ⁓ aware and present in the moment where when it's thrust upon you, you, you're, you're, reactive to it. You're taken back. Yeah. And so the, think the key is learning how to start to. Again, small choices, but small little pieces of pain. Choose to pick it up. Choose to like dissect it, choose to go after something. go like, one of my favorite quotes is this. The magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding. And I really like to change it to the miracle you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding. So just sit down tonight and spend 10 minutes and go like, what, what's one thing I'm avoiding? And then just start chipping away at And then you'll get up that the day after you chip away at it, you'll get up the next day and you go like, man, I just feel, I feel taller. I feel stronger because you're doing it because you're not giving into your weakness. What you're doing is realizing you have weakness and using it to turn it to strength. And when you could do that, that's a super. speaker-0: Right. Yeah, it's just a mind shift, right? A mindset shift. really is. Yep. You don't need any additional skill. You got the skills. speaker-1: Really? Yeah. You got to learn how to talk to yourself. You got to learn how to regulate your central nervous system. You got to learn how to talk to yourself and you got to learn how to step through while you're talking to yourself and it still sucks. You got to learn how to Right. Think, speak, act. Those are really like my three mottos to make an impact. speaker-0: So let's talk about that as my next question I had for you. You went a deep dive when you're making this change into audiobooks, like 10,000 hours or something. To rebuild how you talk to yourself. What was some of the first shift you noticed when like, wait a second, how I talk to myself affects how I feel and how I perform? speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah, man, I noticed that I would tell myself I wasn't going to do something and that I would do it. Like meaning that I would, man, I'm not going to do this negative thing today. And then I'd still go do it. Yep. And then I, and then I, again, I had that a person in my life and he said, man, do you notice like, look at how you're speaking yourself. And it really took that outside source to like start to pinpoint. Like, here's the things you're saying, man. Do you even recognize that? And I'm like, that is just normal. chatter. And so when he started pointing those things out, then I could go like, okay, this is where we need to learn to accept it and be like, man, I keep telling myself I'm not going to do it. I do it. Cool. That's what I do. Okay. Now like, let's figure out how to open up another door so we can go a new direction. But those are really the little pieces that started happening was just the first thing is to observe it. Cause if you're not observing it, you don't even know it's there. It's like, you're like a fish in water. So I started to observe it. Then I started to, once I started to observe it, then I could start to break it down. Then it's like, I like to think of it as like a jungle animal, you know, like when, when people are studying animals, they, they tag them, right? So they, they, they catch them and they tag them. I almost like to think of our thoughts that way. We catch them and we tag them. like, man, you know what, Chris, like you suck at this. Okay, cool. I do suck at this, but how can I get 1 % better? Okay. Now I've tagged it and now I've given it like a little, a new exit. for that 1%. So like now I can find that 1 % where I can get better. So I prime my brain to start looking for the things I want it to look for. Though if we're not priming our brain by telling it what to focus on, our brain will just go with the old neural pathways and the old patterns. speaker-0: Right, which is negativity and what we're not capable of. And what's gonna kill us because like we don't face a lot of stuff that are gonna kill us anymore, but our brain still thinks we do. speaker-1: Yeah, for sure. ⁓ yeah. Like, that's, that's damage relationships, lack of money, just worry about cars breaking down, health issues, right? Anything like we just, we just were a great machine of just, ⁓ what's the next thing I can worry about? Yeah. ⁓ am going to be late to work? Like, ⁓ my goodness. Is somebody going to be upset with me? Cause I'm late to work. ⁓ my goodness. I should start creating these stories and start battling myself in my head. speaker-0: Right. Right. And how many times have you ever worried yourself to the results you wanted? speaker-1: ⁓ never. I, ⁓ I, I feel confident that yeah, I've always, I've worried myself to the negative things, but not to the positive. speaker-0: You've never worried yourself to win in a lottery. speaker-1: No. And when I do, and when I worry and when I worry and I still win and I succeed, I still damage like my health and stuff. I'm like my ball of stress in my stomach. know, like you're just sitting there dreading everything. Like it's, it's just a way to lose really quickly. speaker-0: Yeah, I want to and I like that the term quickly because momentum requires quick action requires us to constantly move in. And one of the things I noticed about you is that you had mentioned people want clarity and to know all the information before they like to act. And you were like, no, I'm going to flip it and I'm going to create clarity by being emotion. Talk me through that thought process because I found that fascinating. speaker-1: Yeah, man, and that has been relatively new in like the last three or four years, you know? What I realized is again, that overthinking. When I was sitting at home, I was thinking, man, I'll just think my way into this perfect situation, man. Like I thought myself into this trouble, I'll think my way out of it. But really when you want to create a new vision of yourself, it's through action. It's not through thinking. Like I know all these people do like identity work and all these things, like you got to act yourself into a new person. So if I know that, like it doesn't necessarily matter what my action is. It matters that I take action. And so to me, I'm starting to look at like, what are, so I'm just going to go with the, and we'll get to the run piece, but I'm going to just go with the beginning of the run. So on January 8th of 2022, I woke up and I was like, we got to do something bigger. By January 9th, we were running because I knew if I give it too big a gap, what your brain does is it releases dopamine for about two weeks to get you to act. But most people sit at home and go like, I'm going think about this, man. This is a great idea. I'm going think about it for two weeks. And then, and then we get to the end of two weeks and like, well, that didn't work, bro. I'm still here. Like I'm still in exact same spot because there was no movement. So the truth is the movement is the refiner. It's the definer of you and it's the refiner of your, of your steps. But without that, you have no feedback. So action gives you feedback, which allows you to refine. But when you're thinking at home, there's no feedback. So you're just stuck in like this mental masturbation loop. And so to me, man, like the action is the key to everything because it's the feedback piece that gives you feedback. So you could adjust. speaker-0: Yeah, I love it. Let's talk about that run. Stay on that topic of the run. Talk to us about what happened then on January 9th when you decided to start making something bigger. speaker-1: Yeah, so, you know, I checked my tracker and even when I ran a 50 miler, I realized I'd never run more than four days in a row, like during training. And I was like, man, I wonder how many days I can run. And I started like, yeah, man, let me think about this. And then I was like, all right, how do we do this? How do we break it down? And I went like, okay, I think I could, I can think of a ridiculously small amount, a mile a day. I could do a mile a day. That seems reasonable. 10, 15 minutes a day, most. I think I could do that. And so we broke it down quickly and we just got at it one mile a day, one mile a day, one mile a day, went for a week, then 90 days. And then we went like, okay, again, the action helped us refine. The action helped us refine who we thought we were. And so now I'm at 90 days at a mile, then it's two miles for 90 days, three miles for 90 days. But when you look at that, like all those little things, they're not big, they're a mile a day, but they stack and they create momentum. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: more important that they create refinement. And then that's when we can start to adjust and go like, okay, this is the mission we want to serve. Okay, this is the real reason we're doing this. But I wanted to show people what a five-year plan is, because most people don't plan for five years in their life, let alone their business or anything else. So part of the running thing was like, here's what a five years of training looks like before we even take a, like the bigger mission. And I wanted to show people like how long it takes to build something amazing. How long, how many times I finished 1000 days, nobody's there, right? 1200 days, nobody's there. 1500 days, I just did it. 1500 days, nobody's there. Nobody's there to cheer you on. And part of the run is like, learn to cheer yourself on. Cause people aren't gonna come rescue you. You're not gonna always have somebody to reach out to. You gotta be your own cheerleader. You gotta be your own rescuer and you gotta be your own person that says, get the up. figure out a way to get it done because you can get it done. speaker-0: So that was when your streak started that you're on right now. speaker-1: Yeah, January 9th of 2022 was when my streak started. speaker-0: So yeah, you're four years and a month into it now. speaker-1: Yeah, you have a little over there, speaker-0: Wow, and you started off running one mile a day and what are you running now? you up to like four? Are you doing 14 a day 17 a day something? 18 a day you just keep adding to it speaker-1: 18 a day right now. Yep. And so we'll, so we'll get up to, we'll get up to about 20, roughly 20, 21, 22, somewhere in there. ⁓ and then when we, then when we go around America, we'll do the 31. speaker-0: Yeah. Wow. What is the biggest thing you learned physically and mentally from your streak? speaker-1: ⁓ physically I've learned that your body will break down and that's a good thing because it gets to you who you really are. Cause it, cause then it flips to mental and we think like the physical is the pain we avoid. It's not the physical, it's the mental pain. And so to me, like when I look at it, My body, like I've had shin splints for over a year at a time, like, or right under a year at a time. Like I had a hernia that is bolded, like there's tons, blown out, show tons of pain, right? Tons of blisters, tons of lost nails, all that fun stuff. But when I look at it, man, like your body can handle far more than we think it can. Far more. And we don't give ourselves enough credit for how much we can handle because we're not willing to put the, like the pounds on the barbell. to see if we can handle it. So physically that's what I've learned is we sell ourselves far short from where we are. And like, I'll be honest, I did a marathon with no training and that was one of the first catalysts that showed me like, wow, we can endure a lot more. And then you said the mental part, correct? Yeah, the mental piece is where you get nasty. speaker-0: All right. Yeah. speaker-1: You know, it's where you really get to dig deep and see what you're made of because 1500 days, there's a lot of days you don't want to run. There's a lot of days where life happens. There's a lot of days where, you know, like my son had my wife went into labor for over 24 hours. And that was a day I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I stepped out of the hospital, sliding glass door at 1159 and I started and I went and got 14 miles in. And so. I think it, you know, they, they correlate together, but when we look at ourselves, we have to understand that your mind can handle it. It's that you think that pain is going to last forever. So you go like, don't want it to last forever. And when I've realized now mentally, like, and this may sound stupid, like, of course, but like when you're in the pain, you don't realize like this season will end. We, and to me, that's the greatest thing I can give myself is like, speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: Shinspuns for a year. It lasted almost a whole year, but we, but it ended, right? There's always a way to find a solution if you're looking for the solution. And to me, when I look at it, go like, man, there were so many solutions to so many problems that we've had. And it wasn't like we knew they were there. We just acted our way into them. We just kept going. So mentally, if you know, you can keep going and you know, the season will end, then there's really no reason to stop. Unless you just used to give up. And that's the worst pain that you can have. That's far worse than the pain you're going through. speaker-0: Yeah, for sure. Because you just said it best, right? That pain of going through it eventually subsides. The pain of never knowing because you quit stays forever because you'll never know. speaker-1: Absolutely true. speaker-0: Right. And how did you find running? I'm curious on that. Like, have you always been a runner or was that after you started talking to yourself and the dialogue came about? speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. That's a great question. No. So man, as a, as a kid, you know, like running is easy. You love it. You know? So, but then about middle school, I realized I didn't love it so much. And so I ran five times in 20 years. I hated it so much. Yeah. When I met a lady and we were starting to date and she's, she starts running these things called marathons. like, how far is that? You know? Cause I don't have to, I have no idea. She's like, it's 26.2 miles. And I was like, Oh, And you pay to do that. And she's like, ⁓ yeah, it's like, it's like 150 bucks. I was like, what? She's like, yeah, do you want to do it? I was like, no, never, never will I ever do that. I love going to, and this time I just love going to gym. love going to gym. Please don't ever ask me to do that again. Okay. And then a year and a half goes by, she's going to run her last marathon. says anyways. And so she has her friends call her up about a month out from the start date. And they said, Hey, we were going to run, but we didn't train enough. And soon as I, soon as she told, like, then she came and told me, she's like, Hey, I think I'm going to drop out. Cause my friends are going to run with me. said, absolutely not. I want to be a good teammate. want to help you. And I want, since they haven't trained, I want to see how hard this thing is called. So I said, only stipulation, no training. I'm going to get shoes. I'm going to walk in the shoes. I'm going to break them in. go run it. She's like, that sounds right about, not right for you. So, so we went read it, man. And I love to tell you, that's when I started running. didn't, I just. slowly decided to stop running after that. Then we did a 60,000 or yeah, we did 60,000 push-up pull-up challenge. Then we did a 50 miler after that. And when we did the 50 miler, that was really the piece where it started to kick in more. But even when I look back at my tracker, you know, like after the 50, I would run very inconsistently and I would take like, there were two months where I think I ran one day out of two months. And that was really, but those things were that pain again, that pain of like, man, this sucks, man. I'm not being consistent at running. Man, this sucks. not doing what I say I'm gonna do. Man, I keep saying I'm gonna start running and I don't. That was part of the catalyst for the January 2022 run. And had I not had that, most likely in my mind, I wouldn't be doing this right now. So when does running start for me? Really running started on the marathon window training, but really it started on January 9th of 2022. speaker-0: What was it, how'd you feel after that marathon? speaker-1: ⁓ Incredible. speaker-0: You ran it and finished it? speaker-1: ⁓ yeah. Incredible. And I mean this, I mean it this way. Like I don't know pacing. I don't know jails. don't know. so halfway I'm a big sweater. So halfway through, like, I'm just pouring sweat. Right. And so I'm, I'm cramping like, right calf, left calf, quad glutes. It's just moving all around. It's having, it's like doing the hokey pokey, you know, it's moving all around. And so luckily great supportive crew, like people just running, you know, they just want to support you because they want to see you finished. like people are. Here, here's some salt tablets. ⁓ man, like you're cramping, like here's this. The cramping never went away, I'm gonna be honest. But when I got to 26 miles, there was 0.2 left. And I remember just recording something and crying and going like, man, I could die today. And I would feel proud and accomplished. it took all of me at that moment to get it done. And when something takes all of you, you expand and you see a new version of yourself. And so, and really, so like that, I mean, I think that is the one of the biggest catalysts to the running of the perimeter, even that we're talking about is I got that value and I saw the value in the hard and I went like, man, I got to have. That's like a salty, tasty shriek at the right time. And I gotta have more. speaker-0: Yeah, that's such a good story. What a great, great experience. And to recognize with point two left, like you're proud of yourself, right? Cause I think there's so many times, especially as guys that we just get in the grind, we get in the day to day work and we don't take time to acknowledge that we're proud of ourselves for things or we to even feel it, right? Like where you got to stay humble and I get all that. It is a balance for sure. But there's also a time to just go. and I'm proud of that. speaker-1: Yeah. So if you don't mind, want to say, I like to say something about that. So. And I mean this, like, I think we sell humility as, and I think people take humility as I got to put myself down. speaker-0: Mmm. speaker-1: I will be honest. I find myself very valuable because I know where my value comes from. Yeah. And my value is not me. So when I know that, like, I also know that I'm one of the, and I truly feel this, like I'm one of the weakest people, you know, like there's so many times I can plan about ready or so many times I don't want to do it. I still do it. And there are there's so many times, like I'm talking to my wife and like, geez, can we just have a day off? You know, like, don't even want to run anymore miles. And so the truth of the matter is what I think humble is, is knowing you're fully valuable and you can fully give value to this world, but not getting caught up that it's all about you. And I think that's the challenge we face is most people go like, you got to be humble. Like what most people are saying is like, don't be so focused on you. Like don't make it all about you. Cause when people make it all about you, like that sucks for everybody. And so to me, like the humbleness, speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: or pride or whatever you want to label things as is I like to think of it more of when I look at myself, how do I feel full 100 % value, but also now full 100 % I can be better than I am right now. And those are two things to weigh because when I know like there's always better, see most people in the like in the past that would have stolen value from me. Like, ⁓ man, I suck Chris. Like, yeah, dude, you can do so much better. ⁓ like, but I already feel like I suck. So it's stealing value from But when you realize you're 100 % value, no matter what you do or don't do, and then you realize like, okay, that's true. So that means I can do better because I know there's better. Now you go like, oh, that actually shows me I'm even more valuable because I know I can be better. So it's actually a value add. But the truth of the matter is the humility comes from understanding like where those values come from and that you will never be your best. So there's always better. So you're no different. I don't care if somebody's listening right now like I've ran two days and I hate running like cool. I'm not any more valuable than you. I just want to be honest. I'm not valuable. I'm not better than you by any means because that was me too. Yeah, we're just in we're just in different parts of our journey. That's all. speaker-0: Yeah, and I think that's the ticket, right? It's not to be stuck comparing my journey to your journey to where I don't, I haven't done what Chris has done, so my journey is less important. Like, the value is the journey. joy is the journey. And we're all writing up separately and differently. And hopefully, like today, ours intersect at points, but it doesn't diminish either of our journey, because we both take something from this and we go our own way. speaker-1: Yeah. speaker-0: and hopefully cross again and we're like, wow, look what you've done. Here's what we've been doing, right? Because like you were talking about that momentum of taking that first step can build internal momentum, but then surrounding yourself with good people and interacting like this builds community. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: And I want to kind of use that to shift before we talk about your big run coming up is one of the things I really like about you is you've built this community around discipline and personal growth, not just for yourself, but for men and you're sharing it with men. So talk us through, when did you decide like, okay, I'm doing this for me and I'm changing, I'm feeling this, I need to share it because other people need to hear this story and I need to be able to help them see in me what they're capable of as well. speaker-1: Yeah, I think that's a good question. And sometimes I just want to be honest. Like I, I'd love to say I have a Zach moment sometimes, but sometimes it's even like a sliding door, you know, sometimes like, okay. It's more, more about the mission and sharing with others. Then it's like, ⁓ it's more about me. ⁓ so, so I don't want to give any like thing of there's just black and white. Like this is a day. Man, one thing I realized was when I, so the guy that I talked about that challenged me, he was a coach. And so I went to his events and that really helped. It was a big catalyst to me getting a better life. But the bigger piece was I got to go back to his events, like his leadership. Then we went back as a team. So we'd help him run his live events, multiple day live events. And when I went back, see when I went, when I went the first time was for me. When I went the second time, I thought it was for But when I went for like the third time, I realized, ⁓ it's not for me. Cause the second time you get a little taste of you get to support people through the, through the transformation you went through. And man, that was, that was like the best nourishment and food I could eat was helping somebody else. So then when I went back the third time, I went back only to help people to not get anything for me. But the amazing part is when you help somebody else, you get something for yourself. And so really that was the big catalyst where I realized like, man, life can not, can no longer be about me. Like there has to the responsibility to care and to share and to support others is some of the most important work I can do. And, and really I was walking with that guy after his one of his last events that I went to and he's like, what do want to do? I said, man, like I love coming here. Like, I just want to coach and support and help people. And so that was really the bit those like those little times were the big catalyst that helped me realize like this is about helping other people become their best me. And I chose that selfishly in a in a reality because I knew if I was going to ask somebody else to do something, I was a person that was going to say, I'm only going to ask you to do it if I'm doing it or if I've done it it's worked and I can tell you or it doesn't work for me and I can tell you that. But I'm not going to ask you to do something that I'm not willing to do. And so those, so like, I love to say it was also just all altruistic and I just want to help people. But in the real reality, like I love coaching because it makes me push me. And then I also love it because I get to help other people become their best. speaker-0: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, right? think too many times we get the idea that selflessness means I can't take care of me at all. I have to give, give, give. And I've always been a proponent of like, to be selfless, I have to first be selfish, right? Like I have to take care of me in order to give you the full me. Otherwise, if I'm just giving, I'm showing up and I'm diminishing my ability to give because I haven't replenished anything. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: And you've mentioned a few different times, Chris, and I really like this, is moments in your life you're around other people and you recognize things. What is it that you think changes when men in particular stop trying to do everything alone and get the help that's around us? speaker-1: Yeah, think one, it's a great reflection. It's a great mirror. Because it's easy, again, when we're sitting, when I sat at home for days and years and just thinking about things, you're not getting any new information in. So when you're around other people, get, it's like standing in a mirror looking at a reflection. Like you get a new reflection and you get a new perspective. And then when you're doing it with movement and action, your body now understands it in a different way too. And you like, you understand your central nervous system in a new way. And so when I, when you're around other people, they also have a central nervous system. they're going to help you regulate or they're going to help you like deregulate in a sense or unregulate yourself. So that's the reason it's so important who you choose to be around because you're going to mirror neurons are in our brain automatically. That's the reason your kid mirrors you. He doesn't listen or she doesn't listen to what you say. They listen to what you do because they're not listening, they're seeing. So mirror neurons fire. So when you're around good people and you can mirror them, now you get new perspective and you get a new understanding of yourself and you're mirroring a new image. And when you can see a new image, it's easier to move to an image. But when I'm sitting at home thinking about myself and contemplating things, sometimes it's hard to see a new image to move towards. But when you're around somebody, you get reflection, you get a new image and you get to mirror that and act in that direction. speaker-0: That's fantastic. Yeah, I'm just pondering that for a second. The first thing that came to mind is how do we get our egos out of the way to where we can receive? speaker-1: I mean, I don't know that I don't know have a great answer for that. How mine happened was I got a lot of beats out of my life, you know, so I don't know if everybody's gonna love my answer, but really go through a lot of bad stuff. then you realize, wow, I'm not as brave as I thought I was. I, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I, you know, I will say, I think it's first being aware that the ego's there. I think it's first seen like where it's tripping you up. or where it's keeping you stuck even. Cause it likes to keep you where you are because when you get on a sales call and you're like, ⁓ man, I'm going to do great at the cells. And you don't, your ego wants to go like, ⁓ man, see, like you don't need to do sales calls. Sales calls are stupid, but that, but you got to listen to that challenge. But I think really it's going through the refining fire, right? The run makes me more humble. The run makes me go like, man, I'm not as strong as I thought it was. And it shows you pieces of yourself not to devalue yourself, but to realize where you can gain more value in yourself. speaker-0: Yeah, no, that super well said. I'm just pondering like how many times it took for me at certain places to go like, wait, why am I still stuck in the same spot? Am I actually just keeping myself here? Right? It wasn't my ego not pulling in information, asking for help. Was it pride, which is kind of the same or did I not know stuff? And I would say that like most of the time, especially in today's world, the lack of knowledge usually isn't the answer. It's the others. Yeah. Because I can find answers to just about everything nowadays. speaker-1: The information's out there. I want to say, man, I loved what you said. Okay. And you said something very profound. Do you know what it is? speaker-0: Nope. speaker-1: Okay, well you're saying profound things without even... ⁓ speaker-0: ⁓ I'm just trying to be a good listener. like, man, I like, like when you speak, I'm trying to like, what is my picture in here? And that was the first thing that came to me is like my own limits. speaker-1: Yeah, and I think the key is what you said is we don't ask for help. Man, that is the ego that's kicked me in the butt the most. And I'm gonna be honest, still kicks me in the butt. Cause you wanna look pretty. You wanna, ⁓ I wanna puff up my feathers like a peacock, you know, like, I don't need your help. I got this. I don't got this. I never have got this. I thought I've done things alone. And as I've matured and gotten older and older and older, I really do nothing alone. I always need somebody by my side. Even when I'm out running alone, I'm not really alone. speaker-0: for sure. speaker-1: because I'm carrying somebody else with me, my kids, my wife, God, my, brothers, and they're with me, even if they're not with me. And so to me, like that asking for help is for me, it's one of the hardest pills to swallow. Yeah. It's a thing that gives me the most growth and the most support and has allowed me to grow the most. Because if we go through my story, I could tell you like almost every time I've had increasing momentum towards the way I want to go. It's because I've asked for help. When I've decreased, it's because I've sat there and been like, I'm not asking for anybody for help. I got this. I'll figure it out. And it's kicked me in the, I've killed years off in my life being stuck in the same spot because I didn't. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-1: And that's the profound, think, thing you said. And I hope if nobody else takes anything out away from this podcast, that you listen to Jared and go listen to that again. Ask for help. Because there's somebody out there that's gone through it before and will help you. speaker-0: Yeah. And like, if you think back to most of the things in our life that we like have those memories are like, man, I would never change that again. Like that was like, can remember very seldom when you're doing it by yourself. It's usually with your group, your family, your teammates. Yeah. No, that's good. So talk to me, Chris, about this crazy idea you got. And I like crazy ideas, but this one seems crazy. Chris runs America 2027. speaker-1: Absolutely. speaker-0: you're gonna run the entire perimeter of the United States. speaker-1: Yeah, or am I running for office and I'm going to run America? That's my real question. So yeah, I'm not doing that. sounds like a nightmare. That's a word. That's way more pain. So when I was developing this idea was again, when I asked for help, a great gentleman came into my life and he was helping me develop this. He's like, Oh man, Chris runs America. It'll be right up to the new election year. That can be fun. Like people could think you're trying to run for president. speaker-0: Come back. speaker-1: But really what it is, and again, I want to go back to not overthinking and go back to action real quick because what happened was we got, we started doing the mile a day and we go like, let's set a five-year plan. When we did that, there was somebody running the, or running, I'm sorry, straight across America. So it's a normal path that most people, when they, when people say they run across America, it's the normal path that most people take. And it's about 3,300 miles. And so we're watching him do that. And so we're like, okay, cool. That could be cool. We could do that. Like, you know, while we're starting this running, like let's, let's, let's research it. And my wife quickly researched it. Research is that it's between two and 500 people that have done it. Like, Oh, that's, that's way too many people. only 3,300 miles. That's not enough. Uh, so, so, so we quickly retreat from that. We're like, all right. So we're like, do we do a V upper West coast down to the bottom of Texas, back up to the East coast? That'll add more miles. It'll be unique. And it took about two and a half years of action. before my wife said, hey. You know, I think I got an idea. was like, cool. What is it? And she's like, let's run the perimeter. And I was like, what? That's awesome. Why would we not come up with that yet? And so, you know, she quickly researches. She's like, nobody's ever done a 30 or a 50 K for 365 days around the perimeter of America. Like that would be legendary. And I'm like, we're all about like creating the most legendary story we can. speaker-0: Right. speaker-1: And so that was really where it came from was being in an action for so long and refining and refining and filtering and looking and seeing what other people were doing and asking people for help. And people that don't even know they've adjusted the run have adjusted the run because they put new things in our head. And we went like, ⁓ why are we going that way? We should go this way. And just even little things like that have shaped it. So it becomes better and better and better. And so, man, the more you expose your thing, and I will say, be careful, expose your thing to the two good people that are going to help lift you up, not go like, oh, that's crazy. Like you shouldn't do that. And I, and I know Jared just said it was crazy. He said it was like exciting. It was wild, you know? So to me, that's really, really, it got built was from day one all the way up to two and a half years. It took us to figure out what we're going to really do. but we knew we had a vision and we knew we were gonna go run somehow, some way. We just didn't know how. And so that is really it. We are going one man, one family, one RV, and we will see America like no one else. Some people say like Forrest Gump and I always say like, yeah, you know when he runs around that hill and he sees that pond and he sees the Mount reflecting off of it, right at sunrise, that's gonna be us. And we are gonna, you will, when you come with us, Either physically, virtually, social media, however you do it, you're going to see America like no one else. And you're going to see a family bond together like no one else because it's going to be chaotic. It's going to be hard. It's going to be amazing. And it's going to be. speaker-0: How will you finish? speaker-1: ⁓ that's okay, go ahead, I love it. speaker-0: How old are the kids? How old will they be for this journey? speaker-1: Yeah, so my little girl is turning four in a couple months roughly and my little boy just turned one So if you guys are calculating here We didn't have any kids when I started this and the year she was my little girl was gonna be born So we knew my wife is already pregnant as when I started so if anybody's going home like I got kids I'll do this who after the kids. Nope do it now Cuz your kids are gonna see it or your kids are gonna say nope I can't do with kids and then they're gonna relive that later So you get to choose. Cause again, your kids aren't going to listen to what you say. They're going to mirror what you do. And I want to be a good mirror for my kids and they don't have to ever run. It doesn't have to be anything bigger or smaller than this. Cause that's not the comparison. What they have to do is become the best and live their full potential. Cause I think we're here to like bring it all out and die. speaker-0: for sure. Yeah, so there'll be, okay, so a little on, is your wife running too, or is it just, you gonna take turns running? speaker-1: No, no, not at all. So she won't run at all. She is full mom support, you know, logistics. She has a harder job. And to be honest, everybody's like, ⁓ they're running. And I'm like, you guys don't even understand. you, when you guys see this, you're going to think the runs the hard part. She has the hard part. got, I, I'm smart. I put up the easy part for myself. I get to run the whole time. You know? ⁓ speaker-0: So what's the family doing to prepare for that mission of that scale? speaker-1: ⁓ man, I mean like, yeah, it's, it's, it's ever evolving. I'll say it that way. ⁓ right now we're just, we're going out, we're having fun. looking at RVs cause we're going to need a sweet RV and we're just really prepping and priming like each day. Like how do we live? How do we get rid of stuff in our house? Like we don't need, we will get rid of almost everything we own. And so we're really prepping in those ways right now. And then, you know, just designing where we'll be, when we'll be. You know, how do we figure out birthdays and holidays? And cause on Christmas, I'm a run 31.1, right? On Thanksgiving, on Mother's Day, on my kids' birthdays, I'm going to be running 31.1. So we're just figuring out how that meshes. then the biggest thing we're figuring out, cause the reason we chose a 50 K and not 50 miles was because see my, my brain was like, I want to do 50 miles. my wife's like, no, you should do 50 K. And we decided. because we want the lifestyle, because we don't want to show, just show people the run. We want to show people like, here's the things we do after I get done with the run. Here's the fun and joy we have together. Here's the bonfire. Here's the hike we go on. Here's the theme park we went to because we want to show people it's about lifestyle. got to design your life. You got to decide what you want out of it. And, and to be honest, when me and my wife were dating, we both wanted to get an RV and travel around America to see like where we really. live. And so this piece is just again another piece that adds into the lifestyle that we wanted that will continue after the run because we'll continue to travel around and travel and just travel and live in different states for different seasons because we want to experience and create even more of a legendary story. speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. Have you planned like where runs gonna start? Are you that far into the mapping? speaker-1: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. So we'll start. So we're both from me and my wife are both from Arizona. So we might see if you're still down there, you know, we'll start in Arizona. We'll go down through Texas down through Florida, back up the East coast top around the top across the United States and then back down the West coast back at AZ and finishing December 31st of 2027. That is, that is the plan as of now. speaker-0: That's smart. Just thinking logistically. Yeah, so you'll be running winter in the south. You'll head north for spring, cross the north in the summer, and then drop fall back down. Yeah, that's smart. speaker-1: Now tell that, listen, okay. just want to bring this back to the listing to other people and having good people in your life. Originally we were running counter, like counterclockwise and somebody went like, literally we just had friends over. were doing like a little couple's date at our house and we're looking at the map we're talking about. Cause you know, this is what we talk about a lot and they're like, why don't you run the other way? And me and my wife look at each other like, why are we not running the other way? We quickly flipped it. we should go the other way. And so that's, know, and, and I don't know if we would have ever figured that out. We may have ran the wrong way the whole time, but. speaker-0: You just figured it out when you were freezing cold. speaker-1: Yeah, yeah for sure. We're kicking our butt. speaker-0: Being a winner sucks man. That's Chase, he's lying about this. speaker-1: Man. You can speak! ⁓ speaker-0: ⁓ dude, I love it, man. What? As we get ready to wrap up, Chris, I want to ask you this. When you think about who you're becoming and what the kids are seeing and modeling, what qualities matter to you most about you now? speaker-1: That's a really good question. Nobody's ever asked me that I Want to be honest, I want them to see it all I Don't want them to see like the best version of me. I want to seem the best and worst I want them to see me get angry and me get stressed and me come back and go like man I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like I call my little girl baby girl like baby girl. sorry. I love you I could have handled that better Because I want them to see like this isn't about looking good. This isn't about being perfect This is about being human and human means it's all The good, the bad, the ugly. And I think with the social media highlight reel, I think there's way too much. is, man, look at my cars. You're looking at good life. Look at my vacation. And that's not real. Yeah. Because every day isn't a vacation. And that's what I really hope. Like as you as people come through social media or they come on the YouTube and watch our weekly program or they watch the documentary at the end, I certainly hope the thing they go is like Chris. Maybe I don't even like Chris after I watch this, but he was real. And it was real that he like, this is how strong, this is how hard and amazing it was. And I want my kids to go like, man, dad does his best to be his best for us and for himself more importantly, and for his wife, but for him more importantly, but I want them to see it all, man. I don't, I don't want to hide this stuff. I did that for during drugs and alcohol. I did that for too many years and it was detrimental and I want my kids to see it all. speaker-0: What a fantastic answer, Chris. I can't think of a better way to wrap up the show. Where can our audience follow along with the journey Chris runs America and all the stuff you're up to? speaker-1: Yeah, so you can go to chrisrunsamerica.com, you can enter your information there. We drop a newsletter and we have a little countdown clock for, you know, the new things and big things are coming up. We'll keep you up to date with those things. So that's one way to do it. If not, you can hit me up on social media, Chris Runs America, Chris Avery Coaching on Instagram, or just Chris Avery. If you're confused on which Chris Avery I'm using, the dude either has a picture of me running in snow or has a big beard, white beard of snow and it's like my eyebrows look like I'm 90 because I have white snow all over them so look for those two pictures you'll find. speaker-0: Chris, thank you so much for coming out and showing us and we're so honored, one, to get to share your story and two, to be part of your journey and I want to thank you for what you're doing. speaker-1: Thanks Jared, I really appreciate it man, I had a great time, it was fun. speaker-0: When you're training with purpose, your fueling can't be an afterthought. That's why I use NeverSecond, the simplest, most reliable system I have found for staying energized, hydrated, and steady through their long efforts. Their C-Series carbs take the guesswork out of performance. No stomach drama, no complicated mixing, just clean, consistent fuel that actually works when the miles get long. If you want to train with more intention and recover without feeling wrecked, check out NeverSecond. Click the link in the show notes to get dialed in. And remember team, life is far too short to live any other way than on purpose. We'll see you all again next week.