Latest / The Mentor Sessions / The Mentor Sessions | Why You Need a Mentor to Grow in Your Faith

Transcript

The Mentor Sessions | Why You Need a Mentor to Grow in Your Faith · The Mentor Sessions

• BigMike: I'm sure at some point in in those conversations, in those meetings, not only did he have to tell you that, you know, you're worthy, God loves you, you have value, but I think there were times where he had to say, What you're doing is wrong. What you're do is doing is causing this problem. BigMike Coyle: None of us become who we're meant to be alone. Every story has people who helped write it. So let's talk about them. Welcome to the Mentor Sessions. BigMike: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen to the mentor sessions. I'm your host, Big Mike. Today I'm joined by Elias Curtis. Elias and I have chatted a little bit. He has some interesting ideas. He's a businessman, but he's also a faith leader, works within the church and he's once we're gonna talk about how ministry and worship and also business can be connected and how you can bring those ideas to you to your leadership roles in in business. Elias, thanks for joining us. Why don't you go ahead and give us a little background and tell us about yourself? Elias Curtis: Sure, be glad to. Well, thank you for having me on the show, Big Mike. so so yes, tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Elias Curtis. I am a husband, father, grandfather. I'm also a business owner. I own Transform Design. I had the company for about 17 years. My wife and I started back in 2009. Been doing print and design for the first 10 years and then you know expanding services, end up doing websites. brand, SEO, marketing, social media, the whole thing, built build systems for businesses, and now doing AI powered systems. But I also am a certified biblical counselor and discipler in our church. So I come alongside of their believers in the Lord to help with discipleship and to deal with issues that they perhaps have or other struggles of life where they're suffering or or dealing with what we would call sin, so that we can be more like Jesus. BigMike: So what out of all those roles you gave us, what is your favorite role and why is it grandfather? Elias Curtis: Right. So I mean, the grandfather role, that one there, it's it's it's new, right? So my youngest is is well my my son has a daughter that's about two years old, right? So and then BigMike: Yeah. Elias Curtis: he has a baby on the way, so he'll he'll be a boy. But but yeah, it's it's one of those things where it's like a whole nother layer to to life. so yeah. BigMike: So it it's interesting 'cause I've got my grandchildren with me, right now and Elias Curtis: Okay, that's great. BigMike: I love being grandpa. I love being papa it it's my favorite role I get to carry. my my favorite story as of right now is last night we were out on the patio after our our work days. My wife works from home and of course I'm doing Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: this from home. And we had the grandkids out there with us and they were playing and climbing trees and And my grandson, he's four now, he came up to me and he Hey Popop, I need your help and just joking with the wife and 'cause we were both trying to decide who's gonna do the evening duties jokingly, I I said, why don't you go ask Mom Mop if she can help you? And she's literally sitting next to me, so it's not like going out of his way and he looks over at her and he looks at me. He goes, Pop pop, I need big guy help. And that just melted my heart. Like I was jumping out of the chair after hearing that. That was the sweetest, kindest thing and really touched my heart. So I I am enjoying being pop up, being grandpa Elias Curtis: Mm. BigMike: so much. I really enjoy it. what got you into Elias Curtis: Okay. BigMike: to the ministry side of things? What what what when did you hear the call and and tell us about taking on that that role? Elias Curtis: Sure, sure. So, you know, been walking with the Lord for, you know, fifteen plus years or so and you know, and you know, being married and having children and going through life and, you know, building a business and, it is. And, it's just you go through life thinking, you know, is this all there is? Or, you know, especially when hardships come in, you know, start asking questions like you know, why? Am I going through these things? and why is it so difficult? Why is it so tough? You know, so whether it's you're dealing with a loved one, you know, that has cancer, you know, I I experienced that with my wife back in 2015, you know, so that was a rough road. I mean, she's doing a lot better now. And but even dealing with like, you know, just financial difficulties to relation relationship strains and and just also like just confusion. You know, you just don't know what to do with your life. so I you know, in the dark times, you know, is where where God prunes us and refines us, you know, in those moments to grow us to be the men that we were supposed that are called to be for God. And so so yeah, I mean my experience is, you know, is is that's where I grew the most, is where I was tested the most, I looked everywhere. in the world and try to find answers and try to seek solutions and I didn't find any of them. So when I open up scriptures and then God revealed himself to me through scripture and I it just hit me there that there's more to this this Christian faith than I thought. and so that in that moment I I realized how much dependent I actually am on him, you know. But a lot of times in our pride we think we can do things on our own. And so it's really trusting God in that. with everything and not just like compartmentalizing it. Say, well I trust you over here, God, but over here, I think I got this. And so being all in for the Lord was really where it was a turning point for me. Even though I understood, you know, things biblically, intellectually, I was like, I know what the word says about certain things. I know that's scripture. I've heard it. I've said it myself. But actually applying it to everyday life is a whole different experience and it's very transformative. so that's really what you know, fueled in my heart to go out and and and get more involved in church and be more active in discipleship and be able to lead in that way. But yeah, it's it's it's good. BigMike: Was there a particular scripture verse that when you're in that moment when you were studying that kind of hit you, was there one verse that like you go to as maybe as a guideline or something like that? Elias Curtis: there's so many verses you can actually go to, especially if you're dealing with either suffering or sin, which are completely different conversations. But the Psalms really help me. You know, as I go through the Psalms and I'm seeing David crying out to the Lord and asking for deliverance and asking for help. You know, it's like, you know, where's my help come from? It comes from the Lord. Right. And so it it peels to my heart, you know, as far as, you know, hoping in God and trusting in Him and and knowing that He will direct my paths. You know, you can go through to to the Proverbs as well in, you know, wisdom literature and explains things on, you know, what to avoid and, you know, what wisdom looks like versus, you know, what is foolish and, you know, and how we need to go to the Lord for pretty much everything in our life. but it's in those moments is where it really shines bright, the Word of God and and helps me to navigate those those confusing times, those dark hours. Absolutely. BigMike: Yeah. So my background coming from law enforcement one of those guiding Elias Curtis: Mm. BigMike: scriptures in our in our career and and our path those for the believers is you know, who shall I send? Here I am, send me. And it it's Elias Curtis: Right. BigMike: it's that that reminder that this is your call. and I was just talking to this on on another show that I was just a guest on. You know, I didn't know what path I was supposed to take for a long time. And I didn't know who how I was gonna raise my family, how I was gonna provide, and you can when we're in our moments of meditation and reflection and stuff like that, we can look at it as as the creator of some sort. but I just had a voice tell me that I needed to become a cop. And asking that voice, asking myself and to whomever I was speaking, 'cause at times I don't think I was speaking to myself. So maybe you could say I was speaking to the Holy Spirit or or whomever, a guardian angel or whatever, and just asking, you know, like why? Why do I why is this what I'm supposed to do? And just a voice coming back and a at times it felt like that voice was as loud as a conversation you and I are having right now, saying, Because We need good people there. And you know, as as my own faith faithful journeys have gone and stuff like that, I try to stay rooted in knowing that as much as I believe in science, that doesn't mean there isn't a creator of some sort. I I believe that the two are not mutually exclusive as people try to argue. And and that's just my own personal belief. I like to think that I was talking to my my creator in some form when I had that conversation. And I think well, you talked about in in our conversations back and forth about the pastor that has helped guide you and the role that he played in your life. Can you share more about him and about those experiences? Elias Curtis: Absolutely. So so yeah, our senior pastor, you know, Pastor Robert. he's, you know, more Pacific Hope Church, San Diego. to any of your listeners are in San Diego who are perhaps looking for a church to to attend, you're always welcome to join us. but yeah, he played a very important role, we believe it's God ordained, right? So that's the language we would use. it's just it's something that in God's providence came together. And it just worked out. And so I can tell you without a doubt that if this brother wasn't where he was at the time that he was, that I probably ended ended up losing my family. This is how bad things were at the time. And what I mean by that is because it was just I wasn't leading the way that I should have, all transparency, right? So looking back, I can say that God's hand was in that and continue in that, like his hand's still in it, even to this day. And so God used him in a mighty way in my life to be able to speak truth and love. And that love part is what I wasn't really understanding biblically. You know, I had a lot of truth, which truth is good, but if it's not backed up with love, it can come off very, very harsh. And that's how I treated the relationships in my life for for many, many years. And so yeah, I mean, self-righteousness is is real. You know, we're in the word. But we're becoming hardened and we're becoming, you know, one of those kind of people who, you know, think we know everything and everyone else is, you know, completely lost in the sense that they don't know any better. Then we can position ourselves in such a way where we're pushing people away rather than drawing them in and showing them the love of Christ. And so he pretty much not only mentored me, he he literally discipled me, right? He brought me into, you know, the scriptures and showed me, okay, this is how. We actually apply scripture. And that was not just knowledge, it's not just the facts about God and Christ. This is the power of the Holy Spirit and this is how he works. And so for I'd say months or even a year or two, even two, like I had to do some pretty serious self-examination. Like I had to r literally confront myself, you know, and say, okay, what is going on inside of me that needs to change? Right. And so, you know, we live in a I would say therapeutic culture where it's like, you know, if you have problems, you just gotta go see a therapist, go sit down and and and work all that out. I'm not against help, I'm not against, you know, anyone that wants to go and get therapy done, but it but for me at that time we've tried all that, we've done all that, and things were actually getting worse for us. Now that's our story. Okay. And so it was very, very troubling. And so when I went to the scriptures and a pastor was like taking me to scriptures, I was like realizing that the issues that I actually have, they're not just merely physical. They're actually spiritual. And so I didn't realize I was dealing with sin that I had to confess and repent of. I didn't realize I wasn't as caring as I could have been for those who were suffering. So understanding the heart of God and being compassionate was one of those things where I really had to learn and grow in. And as I start to learn and grow into that, then I was actually becoming more like Christ, right? In that moment I start to see my life changing right before my very eyes. And I knew it. And I was like, this is God doing this because my flesh wanted to do abandon ship and run away from problems as much as possible or or fight it. But it really is resting in Jesus and God does the work. And it's not that we're not responsible, it's just, you know, we're trusting him each day at a time. so yeah, that brother had a had a big part of that. And it reminded me, you know, how much I need to love my wife, how much I need to and he was he was holding me accountable. but now that I've by God's grace I've grown, like he's seen the changes and he's continuing to see growth. I I I give him all the glory and the praise for that. BigMike: You know, you said a couple things that I've I've been thinking of that I just want Elias Curtis: Sure. BigMike: to like discuss and share with you and get your thoughts on. You Elias Curtis: Sure. BigMike: said early on that talking about sin and suffering and how they're two different conversations, but wouldn't someone in your position argue that sin and suffering there's a lot in the same conversation. There's suffering where say you're grieving a loss of someone, But from my understanding of of the scriptures of the Bible sin is suffering because you've wouldn't wouldn't someone argue that because you've taken yourself out of the presence of God when you're in sin? Elias Curtis: Well there is overlap but we do have to go to scripture, right? The scripture interpretes scripture. So I mean if you look if you remember the story of the Pharisees, right? And the man born blind, right? So the more the man was born blind and the Pharisees asked the question, it was like, Why did this man why is this man blind? Is it because he sinned or was it because his parents sinned that he was born blind? And so there's a little bit of overlap. And we know that the answer to that question is no, he didn't sin. And that's not the reason why he's actually blind. It wasn't personal sin. So if we're talking about suffering, suffering is not always a byproduct of personal sin. Okay? Yeah. BigMike: No, and I I agree with you on that. as you talked about, the suffering Elias Curtis: Sure. BigMike: going through with your mom or excuse me, your wife going through cancer, that pain and suffering that we have, Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: that's different than the pain and suffering in my experience and and in my beliefs, someone who has sinned and and the suffering that they're going through with that and the pain that they're feeling through that. I once heard a a a quote that I like to apply it in all aspects of life, and that is that not all plums are prunes, but all prunes are plums. Elias Curtis: Hm. BigMike: And meaning that so not all suffering is sin, but all sin is suffering. Would that be a good way to put it? Elias Curtis: Yeah, I mean you can say it like that too. I mean because I mean at the end of the day, suffering is a result of sin. So if we go back to the Garden of Eden, the whole Genesis account of the fall, we see suffering coming into existence immediately. Right? So so yes, there is the reason for suffering and it has to do with because of sin, I would say, based on scripture, okay. But i it's a very dangerous thing and and this is where we can get into trouble if we're not careful, is if we start to accuse someone of sin when they're actually suffering of a condition fault on their own. Right, right. But yeah. BigMike: no. And I yeah, that's important to make that distinction that just because you're suffering it doesn't mean you sinned and and Elias Curtis: Right. BigMike: you know that this this certainly goes into victims of violent crimes and Elias Curtis: Right. BigMike: and and personal and sexual crimes because, you know, these are Elias Curtis: Absolutely. BigMike: people that are are suffering because again, you know, this is where you kind of are splitting hairs, but because of someone else's sin. And unfortunately they're suffering the the pains, the physical, mental, emotional pain. you know, like you said, the the blind man and the Pharisees, like whose fault is it? sometimes it's nobody's fault that we're suffering. pain is part of growth and and growth is part of life. But I think again, that's why I said like not all suffering is sin. But all sin brings suffering, I think is what I was trying to say, Elias Curtis: Right. Yeah. BigMike: for the for the sinner. You talked about how the senior pastor, he came into your life, if you will, God ordained him to come and help save you. You know, salvation is between you and and God yourself, but open those doors for you to see where you were right and weren't wrong. Do you think it was him at that moment? Do you think if it was a different pastor, maybe you would not have been receptive? Was there something about the way he approached you? Is there something about the way that that he he made it like you weren't gonna escape from it this time. You were going to have to have these hard conversations. Elias Curtis: Absolutely, absolutely. But just to bring clarification, I would say that I I've been saved for over 15 years, walking with the Lord. BigMike: Right. Right. Elias Curtis: so salvation didn't come into my life at that point as much as it it, if anything, my heart that was hardened as a believer, right? Which is possible. Okay. It got soft, right? It softened me. Okay. It was the trials that grew me, scripture talks about admonishment, warning, exhortation, right? And this is why we have discipline in the church, because if you don't have discipline, evil is gonna grow, sin's gonna be rampant, and then things will just, you know, fall apart and b or eventually be destroyed. So it's like, no, he he came in in a way talked with many pastors. I got we have a ton of believers who who spoke to this issue that I've had. Brahmag scripture. They try to model it, example be examples of this and try to speak it into my life in in ways that they they knew best. But for whatever reason, I wasn't receiving it. You see what I'm saying? So it was like perhaps my heart was hardened towards them and maybe they're what they're going through. I saw hypocrisy and I wasn't wanting I didn't want to hear it from them. But but with him, it was like he just saw the issues right away. it usually is the case when when when a brother has been through similar issues as you have been, but God delivered them from it, that the conviction is stronger. And so he understood what I was going through and was able to speak to it by God's grace to be able to deal with those issues and and and just go through that with me. Right? It's going like it's like going through the fire with somebody, you know, and where a lot of brothers would would They were like, you know, that's too much. I can't deal with this. It's just too much for me to deal with so BigMike: Right. Right. Elias Curtis: much. So I'm not not gonna accuse them, say they they ran away from it as much as maybe didn't have they were equipped to deal with me in the ways that they could have been. but he yeah, he was he was ready, almost like trained and prepared for it. And so that that was a blessing from God to have a brother who was mature in the faith in that way to be like, you know what? It doesn't matter how much trouble that you are, it doesn't matter how difficult you are. I'm gonna go through this fire with you because of my love for you. And and and our belief in God is so high. We're just like, okay, we know God can change anybody if He wills to and wants to. And so that was his attitude. And so I I respected it. I was like, okay, he's he's challenged me, you know, he's working through these issues with me. And no, he didn't he didn't abandon me. And at the same time, you know, I there's times where I thought, man, this guy's gonna leave me alone. He he's not gonna continue to go. through this with me. And I had those moments and that brother was telling me, no, this is my joy. You know, it's my soul is being spent out for you like Apostle Paul. This is exactly the love and care and concern that he had for the churches. And so I was like, okay, that's real. That's real, genuine faith in love right there. And that's something that I can follow. I can follow that because that that looks real. And of course it's Christ's ultimate leader in that humble servant. And so I was like, Okay, that's good stuff. And so I just continue to go down this path and and God has me here. BigMike: Well, an important part of leadership and and being a mentor is being Elias Curtis: Yeah. BigMike: willing to step up and walk through the fire with someone. When you take someone's hand, you lead them to the fire, when you abandon right before they go into the fire, it it it's not gonna help. It's not gonna help them come through the other side. Elias Curtis: Right. BigMike: you know, I my wife and I, especially when things are tough the scripture and I know I'm gonna butcher it, I'm not perfect with these things, I walk through the valley of shadow of death, but I have no fear 'cause, you know, I know God is with me. I think is how it goes. And Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: and I always paraphrase paraphrased it with my wife that, you know We're we're standing in the valley of the shadow of death, but we're going through it hand in hand. We're not going through it alone. And the good mentors are the ones that see what you're going through and they take your hand and and they tell you you're not going to go through this alone. And they guide you and they help you. they they help you realign to the North Star, you know, that that center that you have, and then You know, you you said when you corrected me that you've been saved for over fifteen years, but this came later, this came after a hardening of the heart but I think that's such an important aspect that that refining process that we go through as as adults, as people, it does it's not a one time thing. You know we get to a point where we might get lifted and elevated and then we have to kind of be reminded that like, hey, you are standing on the shoulders of greatness here. You know, you're you're here because God brought you here. You're you know, the the people in your life brought you here. And then if you try to say, look at me, look what I've done. I've made this all on my own. Well then you're leaving out those that got you there. Obviously faith is a very important part of you. how much of that pride and ego did you have to remove to really see what this senior pastor was teaching you? Elias Curtis: Mike, when it comes to pride, right? I mean, we gotta call it like it is when the Bible speaks of it, right? Pride is not, it is not looked upon as something that is a virtue in scripture, right? if anything, we see examples of pride, and it's usually what follows it is destruction, right? If we look all the way. BigMike: Yeah, the way I was taught going through ch church as a young man is pride cometh before the fall. You know, and and the cycle of pride, destruction, repentance and how that's just a loop you go through. Elias Curtis: Yeah. so yeah, to answer your question, God just breaks you down. He he's he breaks you, he he he takes our heart of stone, he just he just smashes it into pieces. And we know that 'cause we're broken. All right. We're broken over sin, we're broken over, you know, the what we're facing in life, you know, we it it it even moves us to lament, right? To cry out to God with, you know, in in in anguish, right? And and that's humility. That's what brings about the humility in knowing God that we need him every single day. But also, you know, lifting up our countenance, so that we would smile and have joy in the Lord after we've been mourning. But that process, you know, the biblical term for For the process of becoming more like Christ is sanctification. So that sanctifying work is a lifetime until we go to glory, which is very encouraging, right? So it's like we're gonna go through life and we're expecting, you know, to be glorified, you know, in the end, where we're, you know, of course, this is theological, but giving new bodies in the new heavens and a new earth and we live in heaven for all eternity with with worshiping Christ. And so it's beautiful, right? And so we have hope in Christ in that regard. And so that should give cr anyone great hope, you know, and something to look forward to, right? Instead of just looking forward to like one day, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna die and then that's it. No, that we have a lot more to look forward to as believers in Christ. BigMike: Yeah, I I totally get where you're coming from on that. Let me ask you Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: you've made this evolution into where you are now from where you were when before the pastor came into your life. I think this is why you're out on podcasts, this is why you reached out, this is why we're talking and and I was happy to hear from you. where you are sharing that message, sharing that love, you know, spreading spreading his word. but now there has to be more, in my opinion, more personal action involved where you're taking those lessons and passing it on to individuals. Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: I I think you said you're you're a certified disciple leadership or something like that or to help people. Elias Curtis: Yeah, biblical counseling discipleship, yeah. BigMike: Okay. So what does that look like? What it what does that entail and and what what has that done for those people whose lives you've come into? Elias Curtis: Sure. So, you know, it's discipleship is a command from from Jesus Himself, right? Go out and make disciples of all nations, baptize baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Spirit. And so that's part of the whole Great Commission, if you will. How it looks like practically is my home, right? My wife, you know, my youngest son, he's still at the at the home with us and he's he's an entrepreneur, you know. He that's all he really knew growing up is seeing dad and mom running a business. And so he wants to have a life that you know that's similar to to ours in that regard. Now, but as far as discipleship part of it, and we can unpack the biblical counseling part of it, how important that is, it's coming alongside, you know, individuals within the church or anybody who believes in God, because it's really hard to disciple anyone that doesn't believe, They don't understand yet. So so they have to have an understanding to be able to apply truth of scripture to their lives and become like Christ. So that it's a very it's a God thing, right? but at the same time when a counseling part comes in, because we were all raised up in under secular psychol psychology and humanistic thinking, it it's it's touched every facet of society, right? And so even even though we are in Christ, we we want to live for God. There's still these parts that are in us that are like, okay, that's not necessarily biblical. I need to work on that or I need to deal with that because I'm not really applying what I know to be true to every area of life. And so coming alongside people in that regard to work through that so that God is glorified is really the ultimate goal. so it could be informal, it could be formal, where we set up a meeting and we just go through scripture together, or it's just living life together. Let's just go to the you know, go to the park or, you know, let's go get a bite to eat and let's just do life. And God could work through that as well. BigMike: So when you say, do you go out and find people? Do you think people find you? Do you think people are led to you? Do you think you're led to people or a little bit of this, that and the other? Elias Curtis: Yeah, it's mixed. It's a little bit of this and that and the other. I mean, I there's people I talk to and they're you know, they're just not ready to receive, you know, this kind of conversation. Like this conversation is is hard to swallow, or just hard to understand. Okay, so so it really just depends on on where a person's at in their life. that we can actually have certain kind of kind of conversations. but you know, but the heart behind any conversation Right is motivated by love, genuine care for the other person, no matter what you're discussing, you know. so for example, like business, okay. Business is is a big part of our life too. You know, we work with businesses and we're working on services and we're doing all kinds of things for them. And so, yeah, I mean, we want to help them succeed. And so there is that part. But it's also be an example of what does it look like to actually, you know, keep your word, right? Integrity. If I'm gonna do something and I follow through and do it, then that shows that, okay, we're responsible people, which goes to, you know, what we know as a stewardship. and trust, you know, God has entrusted us with all these things and we are to manage and to steward them well for his glory. Okay. BigMike: I'm glad you brought up business because As you mentioned earlier, We live in such a secular world where when you're in business, it's it's not something you can bring up on a regular basis, I can only imagine what it must be like to try to bring this up in a business setting. So Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: I think it's important to, you know, when you are dealing with people, how do you instill this in your business model, in your business world that like this is a value of who we are? You can't go into a business and say we're only going to hire people that have a relationship with Christ or God, right? You can't Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: you can't do that. there's laws and I I think even being a moral person would make you frown upon saying that, especially if you're you're trying to help bring people to him. but so how does that look when you're when you're operating a business on a day to day? Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. That's a good question, you know, and that's that is something that I wrestle with for many, many years in business, even as a believer in Christ. It's like there's many who actually oppose the gospel of Christ, right? we look at them with compassion, with grace, love and mercy, because we've been shown that by God. So it overflows onto other people. Now the challenge is is the compromise, right? So for saying, all right, I know I'm a Christian, I know I have values, So I'm accountable to God for what I choose to do. And so what my wife and I did in the earlier years was come up with terms and conditions, right? We came up with these forms where everybody has to fill out in order for us to work with them. So you know, yeah, it's a it's a vetting process, and I think that's just wise to do, right? because you just don't want to get in bed with anybody or partner with anybody who going against what you're what you stand for. Right? It's there's no alignment in that big mic. And so if we're heading this direction and we're helping people in this direction, in this way, that we strongly believe that honors God, then of course we're not gonna get on board and and do something that we strongly believe that. And so but that doesn't necessarily mean that we can't work with those of different backgrounds, different religions, different pr beliefs. It's just, you know, are we aligned in where we're where we're going? and so if we're not a good fit, we're just not a good fit. And there's no there's no fights, there's no quarrels, there's no arguments. We won't go there. Just say, well, we're just not aligned. And I'm pretty sure there's tons of other businesses that will get behind that. we're just not one of them. God has abundantly given us a lot of work to do, We're we we're respectful and we're just lovingly tell them we're just not a good fit. And then we move on. Yeah. BigMike: Well, I I think y you bring up some valid points about, you know, working with people that are aligned with your your your values and your beliefs and stuff like that. And we we spoke here on the podcast with with a venture capitalist that you know, he talked about he wants to work with investors that are that have the same ideals and goals and you know, he said there's there's one group of investors that all they care about is the ROI, you know, doubling and tripling their investment within a certain amount of time. And then you have another group that is so maybe altruistic for another word, that they are throwing money at all these projects just because they think it's the right thing to do. And he he jokingly made the statement that while they're They're not nonprofits, they're definitely nonprofits because they're not making money. They're just throwing this money away, because they believe in the the program and they don't care about their return. So the the the feeling has to be mutual. It has to be in the middle. What what I'm what I'm curious about is you know, let's say you have 10 employees and you know, one of your employees Is a good decent human being, a good, decent person, shares same values, but not all the same values. Maybe does not, as you put it, walk with Christ or walk with Christ in the fashion that you see fit. So how do you go into meeting with this person and counseling with this person and leading this person, knowing that you value them as a person, you value their work, you value their heart and who they are. but yet they don't How do you bring your Christ-centered leadership to someone that maybe not, maybe isn't Christ-centered? Elias Curtis: there's differences, right? I mean, if unbeliever, believer, right? There's a whole dynamic. but at at the end of the day, if you're put in a position of leadership, we should always lead with humility, right? Lead with understanding, wanting to get to know the person more, right? Especially if they're working for you. if they're working for you then you know that that is important because they're they're part of your your business in a sense where you guys are going in well at least should be going in the in the same direction. but when it comes to business, you know, it performance, skill, you know, responsibility, goals, you know, you look for character qualities, right? So you encourage those. So if if the worker or the employee or whoever is doing a great job. You commend them, you affirm them, you you help them to continue to do what is good. Now, if they're lazy and they're doing their job, they're they're lacking integrity, they they're lying to you, right? All these things that are just completely destructive, then we're we're most likely not gonna be working together. Now it's not like I just go in, you know, barging with guns blazing saying, Hey, you know, you're doing a terrible job, you're you're you're fired, get out of here, right? That would be rude and not loving. and so yeah, you want to be firm, you know, firm and loving, but also, you know, at least leading up to the situation, right? It's like, okay, it wasn't like you didn't know. So there's always this accountability. And so that that's a big thing in the beginning of any any relationship, especially if you want something to change, is to always remind the person about what the responsibilities are. Believer and not a believer. I mean integrity is is universal. It's either you're working hard for something or you are not. Or you're distracted or you're doing things that are not gonna profit anything. So it's getting into the heart of that, like, and and finding out and digging deeper and finding out okay, what's going on here. Because, you know, let's give you an example, like what with clients, you know, I I'll let clients know right off the bat, you know, I was like, the kind of work that we do. We'll be b we'll be working together for years. And if I can't work with you for longer than one month, it won't work. And so that's a very honest take on it, right? Because we build systems, we design logos, we do brands, we do websites, we do the automation. And with AI integration, we power the entire system and then we help them to grow in scale and to get lead generation and conversions every single month. That is a long-term plan. We're talking years. And so being able to work with somebody for that long, there has to be alignment. There just has to be. And if there's not, then it's just not going to work like like they should like it should be. so yeah, there's faithfulness to it, commitments and discipline, there's all those character qualities as well. But but yeah, it's just getting to the heart of it. So okay, are we a good fit? Are we gonna work this out? Are we gonna do this together? Or or not? BigMike: if I were to summarize that, what I got out of it was to to represent that Christ centered leadership that we talked about. Coming in humbly, not boastful, coming in and guiding, gentle, patient, but also not surrendering who you are. You know, we as as we read the the the the four gospels, we read how you know Christ never shunned away from who he was. He knew who he was, he was comfortable with who he was, and And not being prideful about who you are and your role like leadership and this is one of those takes that I think we as a a working society, community, however you want to word it, we love to put People centric leadership on on a pedestal. And that's what we want. You know, we all want a leader that sees you, a manager or a boss that sees you and it's has your best interest interests at in heart. But it they don't always have your best interests in heart. because at the end of the day, their best interest is it for the growth and and to the shareholders and stuff like that of the business. But what I'm hearing from you is a combination of both leading with that but also making sure your core values, the company core values are are protected and upheld. and then the other thing that I I heard from you was being okay to walk away from a project if it doesn't mesh with your values, where you see the outcome's gonna be 'cause you know, I never really thought about it. Until you mention it, but I can see it in my own life how relationships with vendors and or customers, depending on where you are in the supply chain cycle. these are relationships that you hope to maintain for a long time, not just one and done. how can I relate to you? How can I be with you? Are we gonna be able to make this relationship work over time? as someone that had that senior pastor, someone that led you and guides you and helped you to a point where now you are able to lead and guide and and help people to to another point. When you are looking for someone to share that message, share that word with, what qualities, what attribu attributes, what do you want? in that person as as you take them on as as someone you're teaching and sharing. Elias Curtis: Sure, absolutely. So character qualities qualities are big. I mean, it's look for integrity, right? Do they keep their word? Right. When they say it, do they actually do it and do they mean it? because you know, we can do a lot of this, right? Things don't get done. Right. That's why you have, you know, actions speak loud in the words, that whole thing. diligence, right? I mean, which also goes along with discipline, right? Just consistent work. And follow through, right? You know, and and it's it's faithfulness, really. I mean, that's a bit what terminology we use. It's like it's this person faithful in what they are doing. I mean, we can carry that all through marriage and parenting and everything else we do, right? but ultimately God is faithful to us, even when we're faithless. so another one is honesty, right? Just telling the truth, right? I mean, it's hard to follow somebody who lies to you, right? and you know, it's not love, right? Because if you love someone, you're not gonna hurt them and and lying to them is is a form of hurt, right? No deception. And so there's these qualities that we just gotta hold fast to, right? Humility is a huge is big, right? Humility, I mean it's trust is another one, right? Trustworthiness. You know, if I'm gonna follow someone as a leader, then they have to be trusted because you know of course we don't want to be let down or be disappointed even though we know that you know we are fallible human beings. Anything's possible, nobody is is perfect. But yet, you know, these qualities are are good and are to be demonstrated in our lives. there's other qualities that are are good, but yeah, I mean those are probably I'd say probably the most important ones that we should should have. BigMike: those are those are the questions to look for in a great leader. But Elias Curtis: Right. BigMike: what about defining a great student? I mean, I yeah, you know, integrity is great to have in a student and and you want someone to have that follow through. You want someone to have that discipline and that desire. But sometimes that's not who you're given. That's not who you're called to teach. That's not what lays before you. you know, so now you have someone that needs you to take you to the through the fire, right? How who do you look for in that person? How do you convince that person I've got you? I will be here with you as you go through these trials. A lot of the times the trials you go through alone. We go through our trials alone. there's people underneath the trapeze to catch us if we fall. You know, there's and so how do you find that person that and how do you relate to that person like I've got you, I see you. I know you're hurting. I've got you. What what do you look for when you approach someone to share that with them? Elias Curtis: teachability is a big one, right? I mean humility is part of that too, but it as a student it's like there has to be desire to want to learn, right? So you have to be in a position to want to learn, which is good, but also apply what you're learning. And so that's where the humility comes in. you're a parent, right? You tell your kids You know, clean up your room and do this, do that, do sometimes they that they just don't do it, right? They don't obey us so it's like understanding where they're at, right? So it's appealing to their heart, going low and saying, Okay, this is your struggles, and finding out what those struggles are. And now if they're vulnerable to open up to you, then we can get somewhere. Right now we can start talking about. you know, plans and responsibilities and goals and how can I help you? And, you know, are we gonna work together as a team and and eventually they they can grow. So I mean there's perfect illustrations, right, that we can talk about. I mean, one of them is is a farmer, right? You know, planting seeds and and waiting for it to grow. And so, you know, we have a lot of seedlings and, you know, they're not as where they're supposed to be yet. And so there there needs to be some nurturing going on and right in growth. and that's a process. So it and another virtue is patience. Being patient, you know, with someone, knowing that, you know, they're not growing at a timetable that we would like them to grow. So if anything exposes what's going on inside of me, if I'm like, you know, hurt and grow. Right. So again, it goes back to trusting God with the growth. So yeah, it's patience, understanding, you know, and and knowing that there's there's a whole world out there that they can get a lot of information and there's a lot of competing voices. But if you're the loudest voice in their life, besides God's voice, you know, that's that's gonna be key, especially if they don't know God in that context, then they can look at you as a as that example, BigMike: I think it's very important to Elias Curtis: Mm-hmm. BigMike: This appropriately. Sometimes when we are in suffering, sometimes when we are in what is called sin, sometimes when we are hurting. Whatever way you want to define that, just picture that broad envelope. Your life is not where you want it to be. You mentioned that you want to hear God's love for you. You want to hear God's voice. And and maybe that God, that creator, that person, that guardian angel, the Holy Spirit, however you want to word it, is calling out to you, but because where you're at in that moment. you can't hear it. You can't see it. but that's where you that's where you're at and you need someone to be that voice for you. You know, you were talking about where you were when your family was struggling and everything that was going on. And it took your senior pastor to step up and be that voice for you. I'm not sure you haven't said, but I'm sure at some point in in those conversations, in those meetings, not only did he have to tell you that, you know, you're worthy, God loves you, you have value, but I think there were times where he had to say, What you're doing is wrong. What you're do is doing is causing this problem. And and allowing you the space to open up and to admit about that. Do you think that's fair to say that sometimes you need someone to call call for you because the one that's trying to call for you can't hear you can't hear them. You've turned them off for some reason. Elias Curtis: True. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, I I literally, eye to eye, man to man, what you are doing is wrong. And I've heard that multiple times from my my senior pastor. And but he was doing it with love. He was doing it BigMike: Right. Elias Curtis: with genuine, genuine love for the benefit and for the good of my soul, right, as he cares for it. BigMike: Your soul and your family soul, because that's that's what's important, right? Like Elias Curtis: Right. Mm-hmm. BigMike: when we call our brothers out, when we call our our friends out, when we call someone out about what they're doing, what you know, that that self destructive behavior and that that self destruction could be physical, it could be mental, emotional, spiritual, when somebody calls that out to you, sometimes it's harsh and it stings to hear, especially when it hits that ego. But it's what we need to hear and we need to have those friendships that align with our values and and our personality to make those call outs to us. You know they love you at your worst, so they're gonna love you at your best, so and vice versa. They love you at your best and they're gonna love you at your worst, and they're gonna be the ones that's gonna have to step up and say, This is wrong. You need to change. Elias Curtis: Yeah, that's it. I'm thankful. I'm thankful for it. BigMike: yeah. Yeah. Well look, I'm thankful for the friends of my life that have done that with me. I'm not I'm not gonna lie. I may not have always liked it at the time. you know, but I I do like it when they call me out and when they call me to to back to who I am and who I'm supposed to be. Elias, I really appreciate your time with us today and the message you have to share. Do you have any parting words or thoughts you want to share with us today? Elias Curtis: I'm thankful, right, just to be able to meet you and be able to just conversate and just have these discussions. I think they're very important. So especially we're talking faith, family, business and just even changes that are happening in this world that we live in. but ultimately, you know, to God's glory. But but yeah, you guys can always reach out to me and transformdesign dot com and you know, I'm available to to speak to whoever. BigMike: That's great. And we'll we'll put your links in in the description below so people can find you and and you can share that message. Elias, I Elias Curtis: Right. BigMike: I appreciate you and everything you have to share. you definitely gave us a lot to think about today. And everybody, thanks for joining us on the mentor sessions today. And we hope that some part of Elias's w words and his message stuck with you. please feel free to leave a comment, leave a question and and let us know. what it is that you have found through your your own walk with God or walk to find God and and how you got there. And remember to like, comment, and subscribe, share this message with those in in your community and and get this word out there. So thanks again everybody and we'll see you next time on the mentor sessions.