Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 79: (un)conditional love

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79: (un)conditional love · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

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  Where in your life, are you treating yourself with conditional love?
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  When you ask yourself this question and you confront all the shame and the
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  judgment that you are carrying towards yourself, it is in these very same
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  spaces that you are being invited to grow, to heal and to expand.
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  First I want to tell you a story from my own life. So I am someone who deeply
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  identifies as a speaker. I love speaking, I love singing, I believe that a huge
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  medium that I am here to create through, to create with, to share is the voice.
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  That my throat chakra is open and I am here to speak and express and sing
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  and grow in terms of how I share and express my voice with the world.
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  How I receive the universe, the cosmos, the gifts of life, the poetry and the
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  potency of this life experience. I truly believe is meant to be
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  channeled through my voice. And then what did spirit do? What did the universe do?
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  I am having so many challenges for the past few months with my voice.
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  And it has been very heartbreaking. I'm grateful I still have a voice.
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  There are people who lose their voices. There is throat cancer. There are many
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  different things that happen with the voice. But I've been deeply grappling with
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  this very thing that I identify as and with and through is the same thing
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  that in order to heal I've been asked to step back from doing.
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  I've been asked to not speak. I've been asked to rest my voice.
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  And for someone who is so in a sense overly identified with my voice,
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  it has been very challenging to ask myself well then who am I without this way of
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  expressing. And it's not only here on the Soul Salon podcast which is part of my
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  soul's work. Like I have asked myself when I die what do I want to have left
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  on this planet. And this is one of those things. This is one of the primary
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  things that I want to leave this earth with. And so when I think about my purpose
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  I don't understand what it would be without my voice. And obviously anxiety
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  goes to the worst case scenario. What if I never speak again? What if I never
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  speak the same again? What if I never feel as much ease as I used to feel?
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  And I know this is all happening for a reason and for a purpose.
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  But it's really invited me to hold myself with unconditional love and say,
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  even if that happens, I still love you. You are still purposeful.
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  You are still meaningful. You are still powerful. And you don't have to hold
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  this conditional value towards yourself where if you are speaking or expressing
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  making videos, I imagine myself in the physical world sharing my voice.
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  And now I'm like, can I even imagine those things? And I just want to say in so
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  much love because I know there are people who are grappling with so many
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  health challenges. And I know that when we face
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  challenges with our health, it almost feels like, wow, I actually had everything.
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  I just want to go back, ignore all the things I was calling in or
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  manifesting or dreaming about. I just want to go back to what I already had.
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  And this is if you've had a life of health, many people from birth, they've had
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  health challenges, chronic pain, chronic health issues. So I just want to send
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  so much love to you. I'm not trying to, you know, we're all going through this
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  human experience through the lens of our experience. And so I also want to
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  hold love for, you know, more severe health challenges and more severe
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  vocal challenges and voice things. And also I want to hold love for my own
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  experience, which is that. And we can do, we can do all the things. I just want
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  to send so much love to anyone who is facing any sort of health
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  challenge, you know, a lot of the advice on following our purpose or
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  on showing up for our dreams or our calling can often be tied to just the
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  willpower, you know, just show up. But I remember I had this one coaching
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  client who is amazing and she joined one of my containers and her health
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  would not permit her to do that work. And so it was a very like clarifying and
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  humbling experience that we channel our entire purpose through our bodies,
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  our bodies, our vessels for our souls. And so if we are not physically well,
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  we can't, you know, that needs to be the priority is healing. And that often
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  asks us to rest. And so something that I shared on one of my episodes that I've
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  been thinking about is this idea of aligned action. And aligned action can
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  also be rest. You may be being asked to rest, even as I make this video, I'm not
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  even sure that I should be making it because I don't like the word should.
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  But because I know my voice is asking me to rest, but it's so hard for me. I mean,
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  I haven't made a video in many weeks. Videos I posted have been videos
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  created before, but I've been struggling with like, this is something that I need
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  to do and my body is asking me not to do it. So the reason why I'm telling you what
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  I'm going through with my own voice, my love is that I want to ask you in your life
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  where in your life, whether it's your appearance and toxic beauty standards and
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  not only from society, but from your family, from your friends, from community,
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  from early childhood experiences, is that a space when you hold yourself with
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  conditional reverence, like you don't revere yourself, you may be
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  put up with yourself, you may be do the things that you feel you have to do to be
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  able to stand yourself, but there isn't the sense of unconditional love. And this
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  is where it's so important to remember that as much as we are spiritual beings
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  we're calling in a higher frequency, we're calling in healing, we're doing so
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  within these deeply political systems that it's very hard in a society like
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  there's two love yourself unconditionally, when from basically the womb you've
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  been taught not to. So it's very important, I think, to name that and I'm always
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  doing my best to name the things and often when I'm editing my videos I'm like
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  you didn't say that son, you don't say that son, you don't say that son, you don't say that
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  and it's like I am a finite being channeling the infinite and
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  there will always be more to say which is a salvation I have. So where are you
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  holding yourself, my love, with conditional reverence? And can you invite
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  yourself to expand how much love you think you can hold for yourself? And I
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  know you may think, oh yes, love yourself, like I've heard this before, but
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  I still find some of the wisdom that we really are being asked to embody I feel
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  like if I listen, we have heard before but we haven't embodied.
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  And because we've been tricked into the mind we think because we understand
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  on an intellectual level the work is done but we over here know the highest
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  level of knowledge is embodiment. It's not the person who wrote the book and what
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  it was like to be a freedom fighter, it's the person who was the freedom fighter
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  and if that's the same person great. It's not the person who went and studied
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  what it was, it's the person who lived that reality and it can be a combination of both
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  but embodied wisdom into vision like wisdom that's so deep in your subconscious
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  that you know it intuitively that's kind of the one of the highest forms of knowing.
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  And so we know we need to love ourselves and that there's this opportunity to love ourselves
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  but many of us that's not our day-to-day experience of ourselves when you look in the mirror,
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  when we create art, when we say the wrong thing to a friend or quote unquote the wrong thing right?
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  We're not holding ourselves with unconditional love. We're holding ourselves with judgment,
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  with shame, with blame, with comparison and not feeling good enough and
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  what I invite is this affirmation that I want to give to you, a soul formation let's call it
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  and it's I love myself unconditionally and I've been saying this to myself several times in a day
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  to try and more deeply embody this wisdom, I love myself unconditionally. If you never speak
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  again I love you who I just felt something. If you never speak again, if I never speak again
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  I want to know that I love myself and I'm a heal wish me healing but I will heal but
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  if this video is not good enough quote unquote I love myself unconditionally.
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  If when I'm editing it I'm like oh you should have said this initial dumbbells initials I've had
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  I love myself unconditionally so I invite you to say this to yourself not just I love myself because
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  we've said that to ourselves I love myself unconditionally because the conditions they've slid in
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  so when we just say we love ourselves all those conditions and terms terms and conditions are
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  beneath the surface I love myself when I'm succeeding I love myself and people are validating me
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  I love myself when I'm making progress I love myself when I'm showing up in a certain way
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  for my morning rituals and routines when we find unconditional love and you know what the most
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  beautiful part of this is my love is that any challenge you go through becomes an invitation
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  into the classroom of this lesson so maybe I lost my voice because the universe knew there was
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  a deeper level of unconditional love available to me and through me and it wanted me to confront
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  myself maybe what if confront myself and confront I have been overly identifying myself with this
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  one gift and how I have not been loving the version of myself who cannot access that gift because we
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  are living in this material world we face health challenges we live we die we get sick and so that
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  is an invitation to expand my vessel my capacity for love so what if you know when you edit the video
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  and you don't like it and you think oh why did it have to happen this when you think it's a mistake
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  what if the universe is like oh we want her to love herself even when to her you go egg mind
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  she's not creating art that is excellent so what are all the invitations that the universe is
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  gifting to you and through you for unconditional love remembering that if you become an embodiment
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  unconditional love towards thyself that will radiate through you all the judgment that you have
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  towards others as we know is the way that you judge the part of yourself that they mirror back to
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  you so I always judge people who talk too much at the dinner table they take up all the space and
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  they don't create space for others but then clearly there's a part of me they're mirroring a part
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  of me that I don't accept now it's a more complex issue but we're just going to leave it there
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  so if they are an image of a part of me then I can just invite myself to love them unconditionally
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  so I love myself unconditionally what challenges have I faced that if I looked at them through the
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  lens of loves invitation of unconditional loves invitation I might shift my perspective maybe
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  you've gone through a period of loneliness maybe the universe knows you truly identify with
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  all your relationships that you have in your life and it wanted to strip those away
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  for a period of your life so you could find unconditional love and acceptance within yourself now
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  we have a loneliness you know especially in western countries epidemic where the society and
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  capitalism and white supremacy and all these systems and a nuclear family has created a structure
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  of isolation so I'm not trying to say well we can just like unconditional love our way out of
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  those things absolutely not it's always the both and and it's always the fact that a system is a
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  macrocosm of a microcosm that needs to be healed so people will say like colonialism started
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  whenever the colonizer's first colonized whether it was on the continent of Africa's America
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  Asia but actually colonialism started in the spirit of the colonizer before they even got to
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  those places oh my gosh oh my wood it's like I'm a speaker like I'm here to speak what's going on
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  oh my gosh just let me be well so I can go back to my soul craft okay okay okay so colonialism
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  started in the spirit of the colonizer before they even got on that ship and arrived because
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  what was so broken within them that when they got to those places when they got to what is now
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  Nigeria South Africa when they got to what is now Brazil when they got to what is now
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  India they said you know what we're going to do we're going to brutalize actually you know
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  it I'm not even gonna because they are people watching this who don't need to be retraumatized
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  but there was something broken within them already and so that is the spiritual revolution we
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  need it is at that level because what is in them that capacity what is inside the spirit of
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  the being that is what needs to be addressed the same with Israel
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  what is in the spirit of a state that can do that and the United States what is in the spirit of
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  a state that can do that that is what my fundamental like that's what my question is and that's
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  at the level that it needs to be addressed and solved okay okay so when we create a reality
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  of unconditional love towards ourselves we create the possibility of heaven on earth why because
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  a being who has unconditional love for themselves has no need to cause harm to any other living
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  creature on this planet they are living in harmony they are an embodiment of harmony why because
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  we criticize violence when it is on the outside but we commit and have been made to commit violence
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  on the inside so since we are the piece of life that we are stewards of and we are the piece of
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  life that we get to truly understand we get to experience this whole macrocosm and this whole
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  universe through the lens of this here body this here soul this here mind this here heart if we
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  can create in a piece here if we can create unconditional love here if we can create unconditional
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  reverence right here this piece of life that only I am that wisdom that we will have embodied
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  on a collective level by doing that will rise us what if I don't know anything for sure what if
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  that will rise us to the collective capacity to experience and become the conditions using
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  Michael Beckwith's language to become the conditions of collective heaven on earth do you hear what I'm
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  saying you hear I'm speaking so it's a both and but this inner transformation all spiritual
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  teachers have taught us deeply important deeply critical is if we see something on the outside
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  we see persecution on the outside we should absolutely on the outside be criticizing that
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  and also we can look in and say just like me three words I changed my life from Pima
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  children the Buddhist teacher just like me oh oh my word changed my life change how I relate to
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  every living being on this earth but you know what babes my voice can only go so far so we're
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  going to talk about that on tomorrow's social now this has been such a vibe such a joy such a gift
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  for me at least I want to tell you that if you want to be in this frequency live live like
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  asin then on July 2nd literally next week Wednesday depending on when this reaches you July
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  2nd 2025 I'm having a live workshop all about transforming our dreams into reality so if this
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  speaks to you and through you it's gonna be a vibe we already have people signing up an early bird
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  is ending on Friday if you want to come and talk about what it actually takes to do the daily work
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  you know actually wait first oh my word I forgot I did a poll on youtube on my newsletter and on
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  Instagram asking all of you soul siblings what do you want to learn most from me is it fear being
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  seen is it multi-passionate is it mid-year chicken or is it dream to reality not the fantasy but the
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  actual daily work of committing to your dream and that is what won across all platforms unanimously
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  and so since it won unanimously like we need to be there to get there unanimous means like
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  it's gonna be us so you can go to my website actually no it's not on my website you can go to this
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  link to learn more it's in the show notes it's in the low notes it's in the go notes you can just
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  you know it's gonna be a vibe babes there's gonna be a guided meditation and you know there's
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  nothing like a live call to be in the energy of fellow soul siblings who also have within them
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  in their hearts in their souls a vision that they cannot let go and a vision that won't let them
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  go and not only do they have that vision they're actually committed to embodying that vision in
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  this lifetime you know that's a very magnetic frequency i'm obsessed with people like that i'm
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  obsessed with people who like you know they have ideas and then they they work on bringing them to
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  life it's a very powerful energy to be in the energy of people like that and i'm a person like
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  that and you're a person like that so come join us and i'll see you next week and i'm so grateful
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  to be back like i'm speaking please leave me not pay for this except with the unconditional love
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  for myself i'm sending you so much love i'm hoping you hold yourself with unconditional love and
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  reverence you are divine you are whole you are magical and there's nothing outside of you that
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  could ever put a limit put a restraint on your infinite divinity and worthiness and hopefully
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  you already know this and i'm just here to mirror that knowledge and that wisdom back to you i'm
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  sending you so much love so much joy so much light and so much reverence thank you for being on
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  this journey with me and i'll see you on the next soul session i love you bye my darling my love my
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  soul sibling thank you for stepping into the soul salon if you are still hearing or watching this
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  we are soul siblings we are resonating on the same frequency and so something you may struggle
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  with that i struggle with is the fear of being seen you know that visibility is involved in you
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  living your creative purpose and being in your power serving the collective through your gifts
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  through your magic through your medicine in order to do that you know you need to be more seen
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  than you are allowing yourself to be right now i have a gift just for you heart made for us on this
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  frequency and it is a free ebook called the soulful visibility guide that is soulful visibility like
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  we don't just want to be seen we want to be felt we want to be heard we want to move and be moved
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  so i do have a free gift for you and all you need to do is go to my website ianderstud.com and there
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  you will be able to input your email address and receive this directly to your inbox this is such a
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  juicy and delicious guide and i change the free offering every few months so you know get it
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  while you can all the links are in the show notes so thank you so much i love you and i will see
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  you on the next sole session okay i love you bye