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CNN's René Marsh on Turning Grief Into Hope for Children/The Nature of Change · Inside The Moms Club

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome, moms. Welcome to Inside the Mom's Club. I'm your host,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Monica Samuel's and today you will see something a bit different.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I have my co host, Julie Orchid here, and we
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have an additional co host time. We have three, Constanza Montalva,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: who's another friend of ours. And I can tell you
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: how this all came about. So a couple of weeks
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: ago or a month ago, when we were scheduling our shows,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Julie informs me that she is going to hike the
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: Grand Canyon, and she prepared for it by going up
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: like two or three flights of stairs. That was her preparation.
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  Speaker 2: As I like to say, that's right and so not
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: to do it exactly.
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  Speaker 1: And so then you told me, well, they're not gonna
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  Speaker 1: They said that I have to hike back out, that
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  Speaker 1: there's no helicopter rescue. There's no way I can get
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: out except on my own two feet. So I said,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: I think we might need to have a backup co
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: host here. So Julie made it here she is I
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: did make it.
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  Speaker 2: My gosh, it was quite defeat, I will say, but
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: what beauty and wonder that I got to see. And
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  Speaker 2: that's the nice side of the story.
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  Speaker 3: And in case she didn't make it. That's why I'm here.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: That's true, you know, yes, and we're we are so
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: happy to have you here.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you, but no, I'm so in all of you.
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  Speaker 1: That you did that well. Thanks, I mean all of you.
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  Speaker 1: And also think really, Julie, I did.
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  Speaker 2: Think about you particular in particular on this hike, and
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  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not sure Monica would want to
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: do this. No, yeah, I mean it was it was
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  Speaker 2: a lot for sure.
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  Speaker 1: The last time you took a hike like that. I
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: was down on the beach when the Amalfi Coasts, you know,
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  Speaker 1: having a limit with you, and we were looking up
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  Speaker 1: in the mountains and there was Julie somewhere. Every once
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: in a while she would show up with her hiking
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  Speaker 1: gear and stuff, because they would.
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  Speaker 2: Highly recommend the Pathway of the Gods as well as
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  Speaker 2: the Grand Canyon. But I have to tell you something
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  Speaker 2: about you know, the g that it was definitely mind
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  Speaker 2: over matter and something that we should all practice is
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  Speaker 2: like mindfulness. I definitely had to reach deep into something
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  Speaker 2: that was not even you know, in the physical realm
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  Speaker 2: for me to get out of there, because I'm really
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  Speaker 2: not the person that should be doing the Grand Canyon,
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  Speaker 2: in fact, one person on the trip, because how'd you
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: get on this trip? And I was like, this is
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  Speaker 2: not the time to be asking you got it?
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  Speaker 3: We all have it in us and I really do.
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  Speaker 1: And we have a short video that you sent of
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  Speaker 1: the beginning of the trip because you traveled on the
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: week when there was massive snow going through the West.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: In fact, there was a tragedy related to that with
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: a bunch of moms. Yes there was and so but
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: there was fifty mile an hour winds, blowing ice and snow.
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  Speaker 2: Zero visibility at the beginning.
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  Speaker 1: And you sent a message to all all of our
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: friends that said basically I thought the message was, Hey,
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  Speaker 1: the trip's been canceled and I'm going to a spa.
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  Speaker 1: And I thought, oh, perfect, lucky her. Listen, there's a
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  Speaker 1: spawn that looks at the rim of the Grand Canyon.
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  Speaker 2: Well they took a vote. They're like anybody, anybody who
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  Speaker 2: doesn't want to go? What what are you going to say?
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  Speaker 2: What would you have said, Costanza?
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  Speaker 3: You wouldn't know, would have stuck it out?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah?
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  Speaker 3: I really do again, mine over matter and you girl,
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  Speaker 3: you've made it this far.
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  Speaker 2: Take me it doesn't mean inside inside I wasn't freaking out.
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  Speaker 3: Course, yeah, of course, so that was the.
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  Speaker 2: That was last week. I am much more comfortable today.
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  Speaker 3: We're proud of you.
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  Speaker 2: We are so impressed well. And nature does something to you.
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  Speaker 2: Nature does. It really takes you know, a time to
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  Speaker 2: breathe and soak in life in a different way, and
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  Speaker 2: it helps you defeat a lot of things that are
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  Speaker 2: hard to do with life.
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  Speaker 1: You couldn't have said it better to introduce our guests.
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  Speaker 3: So today, let's.
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  Speaker 1: Keep in mind that children today are experiencing record levels
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  Speaker 1: of anxiety and emotional stress, as we know well from
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  Speaker 1: our own children in spy by the tragic loss of
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: her son Blake to pediatric brain cancer. Our guest has
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: written The Nature of Change, Lessons of Determination, resilience and
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  Speaker 1: hope from the outside world, which taps into the growing
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  Speaker 1: movement around mindfulness for kids. Please welcome CNN National correspondent
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  Speaker 1: Renee Marsh. Welcome to the Mom's Club. Renee. We are
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: so thrilled to have you today.
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  Speaker 5: Oh I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: much for having me.
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  Speaker 6: And I was just listening to Julie talking about just
• 4:30
  Speaker 6: being mindful and one with nature and that really resonated
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  Speaker 6: with me.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it really, Well, there's not powerful, not many more
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: perfect places to go do that than the Grand Canyon.
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  Speaker 1: That's gonna be an extraordinary trip. So tell us what
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  Speaker 1: inspired you to write The Nature of Change?
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  Speaker 6: So, you know, for people who don't know my personal story,
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: I became a mom in twenty nineteen, my very first born, Blake,
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  Speaker 6: And I mean we all know how motherhood just trans
• 5:00
  Speaker 6: forms you. You are a different person. There's the you
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: before and the you after. And I certainly experienced that,
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  Speaker 6: which was the deepest, purest love that you can experience
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  Speaker 6: for another human being, Like that is it. But unfortunately,
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: Blake was diagnosed with a brain cancer at just nine
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  Speaker 6: months uh, and he fought such a great battle and
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  Speaker 6: we lost him just about a month after his second birthday.
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  Speaker 6: And that moment in my life, honestly, you know they
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  Speaker 6: you know the saying the bottom drops out like that
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  Speaker 6: was literally my moment of the bottom dropping out for me.
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  Speaker 6: And I found myself just sitting in my backyard really
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  Speaker 6: in zombie mode for many many days at a time,
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  Speaker 6: just looking staring into the void and really trying to
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: make sense of the world that I felt like I
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  Speaker 6: no longer understood, like, why would this happen to this child?
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  Speaker 6: Why would this happen to my child? And in those
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: moments of just sitting in nature, I oftentimes got I
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  Speaker 6: received the most profound messages, and in many ways, when
• 6:08
  Speaker 6: I look back, it was like my grief paralyzed me
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  Speaker 6: enough to be still enough to receive those messages. Whether
• 6:16
  Speaker 6: it was the trees losing it all in the fall,
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  Speaker 6: they didn't fall over, they were standing tall despite losing everything,
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  Speaker 6: or whether it was watching a limb on one of
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  Speaker 6: the trees in my backyard just buckle under the weight
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  Speaker 6: of massive snowstorm we had seen that year, and I
• 6:37
  Speaker 6: watched that dangling limb and I kind of left it there,
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: probably because I saw myself and that broken limb and
• 6:43
  Speaker 6: that spring, I thought the limb was dead. Quite honestly,
• 6:48
  Speaker 6: to my surprise, it was sprouting new leaves. And in
• 6:51
  Speaker 6: that moment, I felt like the message was clear, in
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  Speaker 6: your brokenness, you can still grow, you can still bloom.
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  Speaker 6: And so I received a lot of messages like that
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  Speaker 6: during my time outside with nature, and you know, it
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  Speaker 6: was the most difficult thing I had ever dealt with,
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  Speaker 6: but those moments gave me the hope that I needed
• 7:14
  Speaker 6: for those moments. And so this book that I wrote,
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: the Nature of Change, it's really just my hope that
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  Speaker 6: we equip our kids at a very early age, at
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  Speaker 6: least we start the process of equipping them with how
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  Speaker 6: to deal with the challenges that life guarantees. I mean,
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  Speaker 6: I don't know many people who go through life and
• 7:34
  Speaker 6: nothing bad has happened to them. And if you do,
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  Speaker 6: bravo to you. But I mean, I think that's the
• 7:39
  Speaker 6: exception versus the rule.
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  Speaker 5: And so I have a big mom heart. I love
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: kids a lot, and so this.
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  Speaker 6: Is my effort as a mom and wanting to protect
• 7:49
  Speaker 6: them best that we can. And we protect through preparation,
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  Speaker 6: So how can we prepare them mentally for those challenges?
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  Speaker 6: And I feel like the lessons of hope, determination, and
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  Speaker 6: zillions are a good place to start. And those are
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  Speaker 6: the lessons that we have within this book that uses
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  Speaker 6: nature as a metaphor for what is really some complex
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  Speaker 6: concepts to try to teach a toddler or a young child,
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  Speaker 6: but it uses nature to do that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I absolutely love your book and it's good for
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  Speaker 1: children and adults. And when as I was looking, I
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: was reading it and I was telling Constanza and Julie,
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  Speaker 1: they know this. In my front yard, in my house,
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  Speaker 1: there is a giant tree that evidently was hit by
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  Speaker 1: lightning I guess early in its time, and there's it's
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  Speaker 1: got pretty much a stump and this one branch grew
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  Speaker 1: out of the stump, and the builder of the house
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  Speaker 1: built for it a brick enclosure so that it could
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  Speaker 1: lean on it to grow. And the tree is huge
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  Speaker 1: now and it is gorgeous in the certain times of
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  Speaker 1: the year when the leaves, when it blooms. And I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: you know, that's a good lesson for if I could
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  Speaker 1: tell a child look at the tree. Yeah, this tree
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  Speaker 1: was had to needed a little help, but look at
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  Speaker 1: it now, and I mean, you can take that all
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  Speaker 1: through nature. And Julie and I know from our own
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  Speaker 1: kids they graduated together.
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  Speaker 6: In twenty twenty.
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  Speaker 1: That was a rough year. I mean, they did no graduation,
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  Speaker 1: they had no prom they had no and my son
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  Speaker 1: was feeling very sorry for himself. A lot of those
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  Speaker 1: kids had a lot of anxiety. And I said, you know,
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  Speaker 1: I know this is hard, but imagine yourself as a
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  Speaker 1: nineteen year old in nineteen forty one when World War
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  Speaker 1: One world War two breaks out. I mean, your life changed,
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  Speaker 1: but you weren't expecting that. So there are just so
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: many great lessons that I mean, I love that you
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  Speaker 1: wrote this because it's just resonates so much obviously with me,
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  Speaker 1: and I think with so many people so well.
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  Speaker 2: I think that the resilience part renee. These kids that
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: go are on social media, so our kids are raised
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  Speaker 2: in a different you know time. So in addition to that,
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  Speaker 2: you know, having something to lean on, how do you
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  Speaker 2: like for resilience and social media? Because they are bombarded
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  Speaker 2: constantly all day and even though you know most parents
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  Speaker 2: are talking about it and bringing it up. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: what is the message that you want to send to
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  Speaker 2: these younger children about being you know, resilient in life?
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  Speaker 2: And you know, how do we teach them that to
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  Speaker 2: not look at you know, what they're being bombarded with,
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  Speaker 2: you know, And that's the other.
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  Speaker 5: Like secondary thing with this book.
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  Speaker 6: I think, like one, you get these lessons which I
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  Speaker 6: feel like, whether it's resilience or hope, these are things
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  Speaker 6: that I have said from my own personal experience, you
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: need it in your life survival toolkit, Like you can't
• 10:48
  Speaker 6: get through life if you have no hope that's really hard.
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  Speaker 5: It's hard to.
• 10:52
  Speaker 6: Get through life if you have zero resilience, so.
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  Speaker 5: You have to have those.
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  Speaker 6: But aside from that, I feel like this book, I
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: hope it will well generate this like greater appreciation for
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: the outdoors. And I know that screen time is something
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: that parents are always struggling with, especially with our new
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: age of kids where you have everything entertainment is you know, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe.
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  Speaker 6: But I hope that by fostering this sort of curiosity
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  Speaker 6: about nature, nature as a teacher, paying attention to nature
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  Speaker 6: to receive these messages, it's it's bringing an awareness that
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: maybe over the years has become a little lost with
• 11:31
  Speaker 6: the with the inclusion of technology in our everyday life.
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  Speaker 6: So I hope that this will strengthen the relationship again
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: so that, you know, kids get a little bit more
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: curious about, well, what can I learn from the sun
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  Speaker 6: today that shows up every single day without fail? What
• 11:49
  Speaker 6: you know, how can I you know, be inspired by that?
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  Speaker 6: What do I learn from the spider who you know,
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  Speaker 6: before the storm had put in all this war into
• 12:00
  Speaker 6: building this web and then it gets washed away and
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: then it rebuilds, probably for the one hundredth time. That's resilience.
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: Like you know, these are all really tough things to
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: try to break down to a young kids. But when
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: you when you paint the picture through these metaphors, and
• 12:16
  Speaker 6: now they become curious what other lessons can I learn?
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  Speaker 6: It's my hope that maybe they'll choose some outdoors time
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: and a little less you know, just wiping on the iPad, and.
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: That's that's all we can do.
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: Introduce more options to our kids and foster that curiosity
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: for them that you know, there's more than one thing
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: to do with your time, and now maybe the outdoors
• 12:44
  Speaker 6: will be more appealing.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well said, I mean it's a daily battle for me.
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  Speaker 4: I think with my eleven year old, you know, I
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: want to say she's probably the only one in her
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: classroom she's in fifth grade that doesn't have a phone,
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: which is very hard to say. I don't think I
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: had a phone in achievement right there. Pretty proud for
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: that one, but it's crazy to think that, you know,
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: all of her little classmates have. I mean, I don't
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: think I had a phone until I was about fourteen.
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  Speaker 4: But in which case, I feel like I am, you know,
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  Speaker 4: alone in this battle. Really kind of trying to fight
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: you know, that that need and want that she does
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: have because she does see her friends with those devices,
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: And even if it's not the devices, it's on TV,
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: it's Netflix, it Tulu, it's YouTube shorts. I mean, you
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: name it. It's constant bombardment of that. Like Julie was saying,
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: but we try, we try to get some out time time.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: And I actually, which I was going to tell Monica
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: this earlier, I read her a bit of the book
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: and it was interesting because, again, an eleven year old today,
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: it's a lot different.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: Than you know, maybe when we were eleven. But it
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: was nice to see how receptive she was to it.
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  Speaker 4: She's still very kiddish at heart, so it was beautiful
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: to see that she understood it. It was a reminder
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: of what we preach at home. So well done, well
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: done with the book. I think you've done a phenomenal.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: That's her favorite part. I would love to hear, like the.
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: Very beginning of it actually, just how you structure change
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: and almost how how that will affect the children. We've
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: had personal changes in our lives that were unforeseen, so
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: I think that it was a reminder of her that,
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: you know, this too shall pass. Yes, And you know,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: like you said earlier, mine over man.
• 14:21
  Speaker 7: That's right, I mean, And that's like the key thing
• 14:24
  Speaker 7: here because even going back to your example about the
• 14:27
  Speaker 7: tree in your front yard that was struck by lightning,
• 14:31
  Speaker 7: most of the change is change that we don't want,
• 14:35
  Speaker 7: and we feel like it is the end because this
• 14:37
  Speaker 7: thing happened, it's not.
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  Speaker 5: The way it was.
• 14:40
  Speaker 6: We can't go on. I mean, to be quite honest,
• 14:43
  Speaker 6: I felt like that after losing my son, like that
• 14:45
  Speaker 6: was grief is change that we do not want. And
• 14:49
  Speaker 6: so I think that your story was so powerful in
• 14:53
  Speaker 6: that I bet you at that time, if that tree
• 14:55
  Speaker 6: could talk, that lightning strike felt like the end of
• 14:58
  Speaker 6: it all, the end of the happy days, the end of.
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: The good old days.
• 15:03
  Speaker 6: And it's easy in that moment of change that you
• 15:06
  Speaker 6: don't want that unwanted change, to want to give up.
• 15:09
  Speaker 6: But look at what happens when you don't. And those
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: are the lessons that nature really does show us if
• 15:16
  Speaker 6: we're paying attention. If you don't give up, you grow
• 15:20
  Speaker 6: this extra I guess limb, and you grow big and tall,
• 15:24
  Speaker 6: and you have the support system of this brick from
• 15:27
  Speaker 6: the builder.
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: You know, if you don't give up.
• 15:30
  Speaker 6: You get to the summit that you're climbing up of there,
• 15:34
  Speaker 6: the Grand Canyon. Like if you don't give up, you know,
• 15:37
  Speaker 6: when your spiderweb is washed away.
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: You can you can do it again. Like all these.
• 15:42
  Speaker 6: Moments of inspiration are there if we are slowed down
• 15:46
  Speaker 6: enough to actually observe it and learn about it. And
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: that's the other distinction. I mean, I've always appreciated nature.
• 15:54
  Speaker 6: I grew up in New York. My family lived in
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: the suburbs, so you know, nature was always around and
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: I can appreciate its beauty. But it wasn't until after
• 16:03
  Speaker 6: my grief that I think I was able to say
• 16:06
  Speaker 6: I could learn from it. And appreciating the beauty versus
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: actually learning and being inspired by it are two very
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: different things. So I hope this book will help help
• 16:15
  Speaker 6: kids learn and inspire be inspired by nature.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Renee, you talk about stubborn hope, and for those who
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: can you define stubborn hope in your words.
• 16:26
  Speaker 6: Yeah, stubborn hope is like I almost like, look at
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: it as like your brain has two parts to it,
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: or you're hearing these two voices in your head. They're
• 16:38
  Speaker 6: like what your eyes are showing you and like, what likely,
• 16:44
  Speaker 6: because of the facts, will happen? And then in spite
• 16:48
  Speaker 6: of that, the voice that says, but still, you know,
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: like you're still going to believe, You're still going to
• 16:55
  Speaker 6: keep pushing forward. And there's always this in my head,
• 16:58
  Speaker 6: constant battle between the what are the facts say? Versus
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: but still, I'm going to push forward. I'm still gonna believe.
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: I'm not going to give up. I mean, you know,
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: to bring it back to my son, because the reason
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: why I'm here as a children's book author is literally
• 17:13
  Speaker 6: born out of that experience. And the reality was the
• 17:17
  Speaker 6: type of brain cancer Blake had, there was no cure
• 17:20
  Speaker 6: for it, and the survival rate was quite dismal. And
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: so I was faced with those facts every single day
• 17:28
  Speaker 6: of his treatment. But I never gave up hope with
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: my son. It was such a stubborn hope that even
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: when he relapsed, I somehow believe that maybe, somewhere, somehow
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: like things would turn around. And look, it didn't turn around.
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: But I'm so happy I never gave up with my son,
• 17:46
  Speaker 6: And so I think that is what I see stubborn
• 17:49
  Speaker 6: hope as. And if it doesn't work out the way
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: you had hoped it will work out. Unfortunately, that is life,
• 17:57
  Speaker 6: and we don't always understand why that is. But I
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: do think that there are benefits for having that stubborn hope.
• 18:06
  Speaker 6: And in many ways like that is, you know, we're
• 18:10
  Speaker 6: always looking for the miracle. The miracle is you having
• 18:13
  Speaker 6: this stubborn hope and pushing on in spite of you know,
• 18:17
  Speaker 6: and sometimes we are the thing like this, we're waiting
• 18:20
  Speaker 6: for this grand thing. I was waiting for this grand
• 18:23
  Speaker 6: thing of like this cure for my son. But the
• 18:26
  Speaker 6: miracle was I survived that moment. I never gave up hope.
• 18:30
  Speaker 6: I kept to the very end, like pushing for other options,
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: whereas other people may have just broken completely and froze
• 18:39
  Speaker 6: and given up.
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: And I didn't do that.
• 18:43
  Speaker 6: And I think my son's short life was better because
• 18:46
  Speaker 6: I never gave up hope on him.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I think moms especially have to have that. And when
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I was reading your story, so in my case with
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: my oldest son, he was born ten weeks early. He
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: was born with an infection. He was we were fortunate
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: he survived that. And then fast forward to he's nineteen
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: years old. He has an accident in traumatic brain injury,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: and I will never forget being in the er and
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: the er doctor comes up to me to explain to
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: me what's happening with him, and the social worker came
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: up to me and kept patting me on the back saying,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: we are so sorry, we are so sorry. And in
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: those moments, I'm thinking, what are you sorry about? And
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I didn't give up and he survived, thanked the Lord,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: and he is doing very very well. He has a
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: few little issues that he deals with, but we're very
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: blessed in that way. It's possible it wouldn't have worked
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: out that way. I mean, there's plenty of parents that
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: didn't happen for but I know the feeling of.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: You got to have hope, yeah, and stubborn hope.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: And there are plenty people that will tell you. I know,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: when we were in the hospital, he was in a
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: coma and the nurse comes into me and she said,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: you know, when people have these, even if they survive this,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: they have a totally different personality. Sometimes they're very violent.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, yeah, even if
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: he survived, what's that goond to look like? So, but
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: you have to have that You're absolutely right, So, I mean,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: it really your story definitely touched me because I thankfully
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: didn't lose my son, but I know the feeling of
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, you love your children more than anything. The
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: idea of losing a child is probably the most difficult.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: And I think I love the fact that, as I mean,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: I'm a nurse and the fact that people parents like
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: you all that come in and do have stubborn hope
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: you're still talking to your child even if they're unconscious
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: or and you're still leaving in them and you're still you know,
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: there for them. And I'm going to hold you up
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: while you're going through this. And no one escapes grief.
• 20:48
  Speaker 6: So it's so funny because Julie, that is exactly what
• 20:53
  Speaker 6: we did. I mean, long story short, Blake had a
• 20:57
  Speaker 6: very bad reaction to one of his chemo treatments that
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: to him being on ekmo, so for people that don't know,
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: like his heart completely stopped. He had to be connected
• 21:07
  Speaker 6: to a machine to keep it going. And I continued
• 21:10
  Speaker 6: to read to Blake because he loves stories.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: And that was the moment.
• 21:15
  Speaker 6: And this is how life is so weird because and
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: just odd, because sometimes like the worst thing, sometimes other
• 21:23
  Speaker 6: things come out of it that are beautiful, that are unexpected.
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: And so it was in that moment that.
• 21:30
  Speaker 6: I would continue to read to Blake because I wanted
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: him to hear my voice. If he could, I know
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: that he was safe and I was there, but we
• 21:38
  Speaker 6: just had like the wheels on the bus and like
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: all these classics.
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: But not what I needed for that moment.
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: And going back to like when we read to our kids,
• 21:46
  Speaker 6: we read for them, but sometimes we read for ourselves
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: as well. And so that's when I started writing my
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: first children's book, The Miracle Workers, Boy Versus Beasts, And
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: that story is like a modern day David versus Goliath,
• 21:59
  Speaker 6: in this little boys being haunted by this dragon and
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: he gets the courage to come face to face and
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: he gets victory. And I started writing that book because
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: I needed that kind of message.
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: And it's the same spirit.
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: Of the nature of change at the core of these books.
• 22:17
  Speaker 6: It's inspiring that extra grit, mental grit that I feel
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: like we need to have. And as kids, I mean,
• 22:26
  Speaker 6: we always focus on the Golden Rule or ABC's and
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: all of that, and I just think that this other
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: component of starting to work that muscle of resilience and
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: hope really early on, it's not too early to start that,
• 22:41
  Speaker 6: and so I hope this will be like the thing
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: that parents like.
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: This is a tool.
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: It is a tool that you can start using to
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: introduce some of these concepts so that by the time
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: they're our age and they've really lived some life and
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: experienced some rough things, they have worked that muscle in
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: the gym of.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, it's that's really key. Because Castanta
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: has an eleven year old daughter, and do you see
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: them teaching mindfulness or is it mostly from home? Have
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: a book like this that could be in school.
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm lucky enough that you know, she's been
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: going to school now since Montessori, so since kindergarten. They
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: really prioritize mental health. Yes, you know, they offer yoga classes,
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: plenty of outside time. Montessory in itself, the method that
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: they that they use to teach everything is a little
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: bit different, and they accommodate to all types of children,
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: whether you're a fast learner a slow learner. So with
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: all of that, all of her little classmates and her included,
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: are always encouraged to kind of do their best.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Yea and yeah, yeah, yeah, you.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Know it's you said, working that muscle, and I wish
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: for our kids. I mean, I think there was a
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: point in time as parents of our generation, we sort
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: of didn't want our kids to suffer at all, like
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: like they couldn't even they couldn't even suffer not winning
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: the trophies.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: We all got trophies.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: So like my son, when we were cleaning out his room,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: it's like, Chase, you've got two hundred and fifty trophies,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: but he knew which ones he'd actually won versus the
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: ones that were handed to him. But we didn't want
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: him to suffer at all or feel anything sad or
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: even in their grades. I would say I was guilty
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: of that, Like excuse me, why did he get a B?
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I mean, you should have gone in there, so it
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: would have been good. When the pandemic hit this group
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: that was eighteen years old, they did not. They had
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: tough time with it, and we all did. But if
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: they had something like your book and your story and
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: your understanding and say you.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: Know, this too shall pass.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: They've learned it since, but it wasn't an easy lesson
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: the older you get. So I think the fact that
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: you're offering that you know, for younger kids to experience
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: is I mean really great.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: It's almost like I moved all the time. So this
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: book like when the kids have a new house and
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: they're going out to the backyard and you talk about
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: the brand and I mean all of that is just
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: like kids need to build that muscle.
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, for sure, I cannot wait to give
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: this book as a gift to everyone.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 25:11
  Speaker 6: Awesome.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Well, and it's such a great gift that you've written
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: these books because Blake, who I understand, love to read
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: and love to be read too, that there are books
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: there that were inspired by him to share with all
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: of these kids. I mean, what a great thing gift
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: from him really for you.
• 25:31
  Speaker 6: Well yeah, and you know that's the other side of this.
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: I mean, this has been my way of continuing to
• 25:39
  Speaker 6: mother Blake because these books are attached to him, and
• 25:42
  Speaker 6: in my mind, this book and my very first book,
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: The Miracle Workers.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: All that is Blake's legacy.
• 25:49
  Speaker 6: I am Blake's legacy. The person I have become in
• 25:53
  Speaker 6: his absence is a testament to his impact on my life,
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: and this book is an extension of that.
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: So it really is. It makes me proud.
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: But also yeah, this is you know, I don't have
• 26:06
  Speaker 6: him here in the physical. But this is how I
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: continue to mother him. He's not here to make his
• 26:10
  Speaker 6: own legacy in this world, and so as his mom,
• 26:14
  Speaker 6: I'm carrying that flag for him in ways that he
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: has inspired. It is he did that. I mean, he
• 26:23
  Speaker 6: made that mark on me and out in my heart
• 26:27
  Speaker 6: and how I show up in this world.
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: And I just hope that it's all good.
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: I mean, like I said, I really do have a
• 26:33
  Speaker 6: big mom heart. I love kids for so long, and
• 26:36
  Speaker 6: my mom always predicted I would have a bunch.
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: I only have one, and I have just.
• 26:41
  Speaker 6: Like one right now, my daughter cnos two and she's
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: such a blessing in my life.
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: But I love all kids, and so this really is also.
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: Just a testament of my love for children and really
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: caring about their well being because you know, like we
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: all have experienced, it's rough, so you life can be,
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: but they're good parts too. It's not all like you know,
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: always a storm, but you definitely want them prepared for
• 27:10
  Speaker 6: when the storm does come.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: So may I have one quick question for you, because
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: I think every mother has a story and them like storytelling, right,
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: and so I'm not gonna lie. I did some wu
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: Wu stuff in Sedona this weekend, and she's like, we
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: talked a lot about storytelling. So I think everybody has
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: like some type of story. When did you know or
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: open yourself up to I have this gift, I've got
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: to get this out, I've got to write this. I
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: would love to know, you know, what was the moment
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: because sometimes people will you know, close that off, not
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: listen to that. And for I guess it's a personal
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: question like when did you hear? When did you hear that?
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Good question message? Yeah, and you mean just in general,
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: just in general of writing your books like that, Yes,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Like how did you know this is how you were
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: going to express Blake's legacy?
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah? I didn't.
• 28:00
  Speaker 6: I think it is happening in real time that things
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: came together. But one thing is constant and true is
• 28:06
  Speaker 6: that look, even in my profession, I am a storyteller.
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: I love to write, I love to tell stories. So
• 28:13
  Speaker 6: that was just my underlying I like to say talent
• 28:18
  Speaker 6: that I was blessed with. I am a storyteller. I'm
• 28:21
  Speaker 6: a communicator, So that has just been a definition of
• 28:24
  Speaker 6: who I am. And I think that I observed the
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: world in that way because like my brain just functions
• 28:33
  Speaker 6: in that way. So I enjoyed reading to Blake. It
• 28:37
  Speaker 6: was inspired by him because of his love of reading
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: that I said, I want to write a book for
• 28:41
  Speaker 6: him and for our family.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: And so I think really.
• 28:47
  Speaker 8: All of that came out of being in the ICU
• 28:51
  Speaker 8: at Johns Hopkins Hospital with Blake unconscious on ECHMO, and
• 28:59
  Speaker 8: we had the bright blaring.
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: Lights, and we had twenty four hours around the clock nurses,
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: and I wasn't sure if my son could hear me
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: when I was reading to him. But I wanted to
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: come up with a book that was going to give
• 29:14
  Speaker 6: me that fighting spirit, which is The Miracle Workers. And
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: I just wanted him to not ceased hearing me read
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: to him. And the other part of this is that
• 29:27
  Speaker 6: I wanted this book. Eventually, that moment evolved into something else.
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: I wanted not only to write this book. I wanted
• 29:35
  Speaker 6: to write this book and then tried to solve the problem.
• 29:39
  Speaker 6: So one hundred percent of the proceeds from The Miracle
• 29:41
  Speaker 6: Workers was donated to Pediatric Brain Cancer Research.
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: Gave all that way.
• 29:47
  Speaker 6: We gave two research grants to Saint Jude, we gave
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: another one to Sick Kids. I teamed up with the
• 29:53
  Speaker 6: Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation so that they could identify the
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: best research to fund. So they were my partners in that.
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: And so I think that my storytelling and how I
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: fell into this because I truly never had it on
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: my bingo card to be a children's author, but I
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: think it came out of being pushed into it in
• 30:13
  Speaker 6: that I needed something that had a message that I
• 30:17
  Speaker 6: felt was missing in my current collection of books for
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: my son. And then I also ended up putting this
• 30:25
  Speaker 6: book out for wider consumption because I wanted to solve
• 30:29
  Speaker 6: a problem. And so the way I saw it was
• 30:31
  Speaker 6: the funds from the sale of that book, which sold
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: thousands of copies. I think, if I remember correctly, it
• 30:37
  Speaker 6: was like close to ten thousand copies all went back
• 30:41
  Speaker 6: to solving this problem or trying to of pediatric brain cancer.
• 30:46
  Speaker 6: Because I was so angry and I still am at cancer.
• 30:50
  Speaker 6: And I don't have any qualms about saying I'm angry
• 30:54
  Speaker 6: about cancer. I am because it robbed me of the
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: person who I loved so darely. And so with this
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: new book, The Nature of Change, I continued that same spirit.
• 31:05
  Speaker 6: I donated fourteen percent of my of my advance to
• 31:11
  Speaker 6: pediatric brain Cancer research. I'm working with a traditional publisher.
• 31:14
  Speaker 6: The first book was self published, so I can give
• 31:17
  Speaker 6: all the money away. Can't do that, Yeah, So I
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: gave fourteen percent, and I chose fourteen percent because Blake's
• 31:23
  Speaker 6: birthday is March fourteenth, and I always associate the fourteen
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: with him, So I took the fourteen percent pledge, which
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: is something I created.
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: And I will continue to do that.
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: I hope that this writing is not just to inspire,
• 31:37
  Speaker 6: not just to teach lessons, but also eventually one day
• 31:40
  Speaker 6: we have more cures. So I'll keep on pouring back
• 31:43
  Speaker 6: into the research community, and I'll do that through writing
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: of these books.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: That's that is great. That is great.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Well, Renee, we have some other moms who have questions
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: for you, and they are our zoomer moms, So welcome
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: zoomer moms. Welcome to the Mom's Club.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Ladies.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: I will introduce each one of you. Tell us your name,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: where you're from, a little bit about yourself, and do
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: you have a question for Renee. Kim, Welcome to the
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Mom's Club.
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: Him happy to be here. My name is Kimberly.
• 32:13
  Speaker 9: I live in the Redwood Forest in northern California. So
• 32:17
  Speaker 9: we're very immersed in nature over here. I think my
• 32:21
  Speaker 9: question would be, let's see, do you do you have
• 32:24
  Speaker 9: any plans for future kids books? And what was the
• 32:27
  Speaker 9: hardest part about doing your first one?
• 32:32
  Speaker 6: I definitely love this space because the way I see
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: it is, what are all the lessons that I want
• 32:37
  Speaker 6: to have leave for my daughter who's two. I don't
• 32:42
  Speaker 6: know how old your little one is.
• 32:45
  Speaker 5: Sheeez, she'll be two in June.
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: Okay, so yeah, so what do we want to What
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: are the lessons that we want to leave for them,
• 32:52
  Speaker 6: you know?
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: And then what are the lessons that I want to.
• 32:54
  Speaker 6: Leave behind for all the other two year olds decades
• 32:57
  Speaker 6: from now?
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: So I'm kind of I would.
• 32:59
  Speaker 6: I'm I'm into the idea of doing more books just
• 33:04
  Speaker 6: for the sole purpose of doing that, like having a
• 33:07
  Speaker 6: collection of books that have these sort of lessons that
• 33:11
  Speaker 6: I think every person needs to survive life. And what
• 33:17
  Speaker 6: was the hardest part about writing that book? Honestly, I
• 33:22
  Speaker 6: thought that writing the book provided me with a great
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: escape for what the reality of my life was at
• 33:27
  Speaker 6: the time and writing that first book, so I didn't
• 33:30
  Speaker 6: find it difficult. I found it quite lovely to have
• 33:34
  Speaker 6: a place where I had control of the beginning, middle,
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: and end of the story. In many ways, I was
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: writing at that book at a time I had zero
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: control over my life. To watch your kid with this
• 33:44
  Speaker 6: disease and there be no cure, I mean, you can
• 33:48
  Speaker 6: do nothing. And I'm a fixer by nature, and there
• 33:51
  Speaker 6: was nothing I could do to fix it. But I
• 33:53
  Speaker 6: could then write this story and I had total control.
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: And I think that gave me a little bit of comfort.
• 33:58
  Speaker 6: So if anything, I think that writing it was so
• 34:01
  Speaker 6: helpful to me, And this kind of storytelling is continues.
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: To be helpful to me.
• 34:07
  Speaker 6: So I wouldn't nothing really too too hard. It's been
• 34:11
  Speaker 6: a blessing to be able to write these stories.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: That is great.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: And Kimberly, is that are you wearing a woodlock resort
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: and spat T shirt? I am place Woodlock.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: We love it.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: It is a awesome, amazing as we Yes, I love
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: your name, you do, yes, you absolutely want to go there, Susan,
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: are you also wearing a woodlock resort?
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: What is this today?
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: We have all these women wearing woodlock resort and spas shirts.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about yourself and do you
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: have a question for Renee?
• 34:49
  Speaker 10: I do, and thank you so much. And I do
• 34:51
  Speaker 10: want to thank Woodlock, who's sponsoring this amazing conversation. Thank
• 34:55
  Speaker 10: you so much, so many names.
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: Susan Gold. I'm an author and a mom and.
• 35:01
  Speaker 10: I'm really profoundly grateful Renee that you took the trajectory
• 35:05
  Speaker 10: you have through Blake's life experience. And my question is,
• 35:11
  Speaker 10: at what point did you connect with the beauty of
• 35:16
  Speaker 10: the gift that Blake gave you through his life path.
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: That's such a good question.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, what time did when did it transfer from like
• 35:29
  Speaker 6: being my escape from this like really bad time in
• 35:32
  Speaker 6: life to like it being this beautiful thing, like the
• 35:35
  Speaker 6: beauty for the Ashes moment? And I would say it's
• 35:39
  Speaker 6: when going back to my first book and even for
• 35:42
  Speaker 6: this second book, seeing the reach number one of the
• 35:47
  Speaker 6: Miracle Workers and how it was received by young kids
• 35:53
  Speaker 6: really warmed my heart because I felt like even though
• 35:56
  Speaker 6: my son wasn't here here, it is thousands of kids
• 35:59
  Speaker 6: all of the country had this book that you know,
• 36:03
  Speaker 6: there was the protagonist's name, it was Blake, and.
• 36:07
  Speaker 5: So a piece of him.
• 36:08
  Speaker 6: So many people were they had in their homes and
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: they were reading that story. So that was a beautiful
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: moment for me. And then for this story, to be
• 36:17
  Speaker 6: working with number one, this publisher, to hopefully you know,
• 36:23
  Speaker 6: inspire these three very important lessons in even more kids.
• 36:29
  Speaker 6: And even to have you say his name here today.
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: I mean, you don't know Blake, you've never met Blake.
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: But for people to still be speaking about my son
• 36:38
  Speaker 6: after I lost him in twenty twenty one, honestly, it
• 36:42
  Speaker 6: warms my heart so much. So this moment, even here today,
• 36:47
  Speaker 6: is the beauty for the ashes that he's inspiring or
• 36:51
  Speaker 6: even having an impact even though he's not here in
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: his physical sense.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's beautiful. Wow, beautiful. Look who we have?
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, another zoomer and could she be from
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Woodlock herself?
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: Erica welcome.
• 37:07
  Speaker 5: Yes, it's so nice to see. Thank you. It's so
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: nice to see the tea shirts. I'm like, oh my gosh,
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: I love it.
• 37:14
  Speaker 11: So Hi everyone, I'm Erica and the director of communications
• 37:17
  Speaker 11: from Woodlock. We're a three property resort in the Pocono
• 37:21
  Speaker 11: Mountains and we would love to have you to day.
• 37:24
  Speaker 11: If you're interested, we'll connect after. It has been incredible
• 37:29
  Speaker 11: listening to your story. I've been touched on so many
• 37:32
  Speaker 11: different levels, and I would if I don't mention this,
• 37:37
  Speaker 11: I feel like I fail today to not mention At Woodlock,
• 37:41
  Speaker 11: we're building the nation's first ever cancer respite center for
• 37:46
  Speaker 11: guests who we work with the nonprofit out of Philadelphia
• 37:49
  Speaker 11: area that helps guests who deal with terminal cancer and
• 37:54
  Speaker 11: their families come for a respite. So we're in the
• 37:57
  Speaker 11: process of building the first ever cancer respite center for
• 38:02
  Speaker 11: guests and their families to come and have a break.
• 38:05
  Speaker 11: And your story and your son's story, it's incredibly touching
• 38:09
  Speaker 11: and I feel honored to be here today with you.
• 38:13
  Speaker 11: I think, and being a mom myself, I can't wait
• 38:17
  Speaker 11: to read your book to my daughter as well. I
• 38:19
  Speaker 11: think my question as a fellow mom, and you know
• 38:23
  Speaker 11: what you've based your book on, and is nature still
• 38:27
  Speaker 11: do you still find a lot of healing and respite
• 38:30
  Speaker 11: in nature? And what are some of your favorite sort
• 38:34
  Speaker 11: of personal ways to reset with all you have going
• 38:37
  Speaker 11: for you?
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: Yes, I think that I will forever now. This is
• 38:45
  Speaker 6: a door that has opened that will not shut in
• 38:48
  Speaker 6: that I will be continuously learning from nature. And it's
• 38:52
  Speaker 6: so funny because when I was in high school, I
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: used to run track and then I was like, at
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: a cross country it's not for me. I took up
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: other extras and I never really got back into running
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: again until I would say last summer. So that's a
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: very long gap because I didn't just graduate from high
• 39:09
  Speaker 6: school and going out to run has now because you know,
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: I'm not like sitting in zombie mode in my backyard
• 39:18
  Speaker 6: anymore like the way I was after losing Blake. But
• 39:21
  Speaker 6: now I'm running and that is giving me the one
• 39:27
  Speaker 6: on one with nature, and yes, I am still very
• 39:30
  Speaker 6: much learning the lessons. The most recent one for my
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: most recent run was.
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: I was watching the birds flying above.
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: Me and it was a really windy day and they
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: knew when to like flap those wings really hard and
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: when to just let those wings out and soar. And
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: sometimes we're like always in the flapping the wings really hard,
• 39:51
  Speaker 6: and sometimes we need to have the confidence of when
• 39:54
  Speaker 6: to be still and just sore, and just having that
• 39:59
  Speaker 6: sort of confidence to know when to push and when
• 40:02
  Speaker 6: to pause. I think that was my takeaway from just
• 40:06
  Speaker 6: observing them. But every time I go for a run
• 40:08
  Speaker 6: there it's like a new lesson. So yes, it's still
• 40:12
  Speaker 6: and it's actually my motivation to get back out there
• 40:14
  Speaker 6: because I'm like, what am I going to see today?
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: What am I going to learn today? So yeah, it's
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: it's still very much a learning sort of session for me.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is great.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: And Renee, if you're interested, when Julie goes to Mount Everest,
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: you can join her and she can enjoy nature with Julie,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: because I'm sure that's.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: Beyond When you said push and pause, I was like, yeah,
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: she just experienced that. Yeah, every ten steps.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, January, welcome to the Mom's Club. Tell us a
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: little bit about yourself, and do you have a question
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: for Renee.
• 40:51
  Speaker 12: Yes, it's very very nice to meate you. I love
• 40:54
  Speaker 12: your story, as heartbreaking as it can be. I'm a
• 40:58
  Speaker 12: mom to four adult children that we have lived our
• 41:01
  Speaker 12: whole lives in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains, so
• 41:04
  Speaker 12: we're no stranger to how fabulously healing and curing nature
• 41:08
  Speaker 12: can be. We still I mean, if we have birthday parties,
• 41:11
  Speaker 12: it's what part of the mountains are we going to
• 41:12
  Speaker 12: go to to celebrate. So we've always embraced nature and
• 41:16
  Speaker 12: we've always learned from nature.
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: People not always so much. So my question is I feel.
• 41:25
  Speaker 12: Like when somebody that you love or even just care
• 41:28
  Speaker 12: about some is going through something so heartbreaking and tragic.
• 41:33
  Speaker 12: People tend to fall away because they do not know
• 41:36
  Speaker 12: what to say or how to act. And when I've
• 41:39
  Speaker 12: seen people that I care about going through something, I've
• 41:42
  Speaker 12: always tried to not do that, even though it's hard.
• 41:45
  Speaker 12: What is it people can say to you or to
• 41:48
  Speaker 12: anybody going through something like that that won't make it harder,
• 41:53
  Speaker 12: won't create more pain, but actually does say I'm here
• 41:57
  Speaker 12: for you, and I don't know.
• 41:58
  Speaker 6: What to say, but I'm here.
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I know.
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: It's like, you know, if I think back to my experience,
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: I remember one of Blake's oncologists and it was moments
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: after he had passed, and we were like as you
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: would imagine any parent would be. And she came in
• 42:27
  Speaker 6: and she was She just sat. She didn't try to
• 42:31
  Speaker 6: fix it, she didn't try to say something to make
• 42:34
  Speaker 6: me feel better.
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: Because sometimes depending.
• 42:36
  Speaker 6: On the situation, like this is not a one size
• 42:38
  Speaker 6: fits all answer for you, but speaking from my experience
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: with the loss of a child, there is we often
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: have this like we want to fix it, we want
• 42:48
  Speaker 6: to say something make them feel better or make ourselves
• 42:50
  Speaker 6: feel less like awkward in this situation, and sometimes it
• 42:55
  Speaker 6: really is like doing what you say that you're already doing.
• 42:58
  Speaker 6: It's just being there if the person wants to talk. Also,
• 43:02
  Speaker 6: not being afraid to talk about that person. I think
• 43:05
  Speaker 6: I met a lot of people who were scared to
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: talk to me about Blake because I think it made
• 43:11
  Speaker 6: them uncomfortable because they were scared about making me cry.
• 43:14
  Speaker 6: But the reality is, when you're going through something, Ralph,
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: you are not going to make me cry. I'm most
• 43:19
  Speaker 6: likely emotional many times per day because this loss is
• 43:23
  Speaker 6: very present in my mind, so it's not like you're
• 43:26
  Speaker 6: making me remember that my son died, I know, and
• 43:30
  Speaker 6: I live with that every day, in every moment. So
• 43:33
  Speaker 6: I would say just being there, being present and sometimes
• 43:38
  Speaker 6: not asking what can I do for you? That was
• 43:40
  Speaker 6: always like an awkward question for me, because sometimes you're
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: in such a fog of your loss that you don't
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: even know what you need. And I really appreciated people
• 43:49
  Speaker 6: who just did They didn't necessarily ask, Like I had
• 43:53
  Speaker 6: friends that would just show up with meals here or
• 43:57
  Speaker 6: send me you know, because you know, it's just like
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: they just did stuff and they didn't force me to
• 44:02
  Speaker 6: think about what I need to then communicate.
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: It to you.
• 44:05
  Speaker 6: So I think that and just being there and present
• 44:08
  Speaker 6: and not feeling like you have to try to fix
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: it because it cannot be fixed. And I think those
• 44:15
  Speaker 6: are the three things that you know, we appreciate when
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: you're going through something like that kind of loss.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a great answer, and that was a great
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: question because that's one of the most difficult things that
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: any of us go through when we're when we have
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: a friend that's having.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: And correct me if I'm wrong, Renee, But it's a
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: myth that people say, well, don't ask about the person
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: who passed away or bring to you know, we want
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: to talk about you know, Blake and you know what
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: kind of child he was and what he loved. And
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: I think that it correct me if I'm wrong, if
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: I'm wrong, but I think it's true, like telling his
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: story and keeping him, you know, his spirit alive.
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I think so.
• 44:53
  Speaker 6: I mean, look, even in the early days, even if
• 44:56
  Speaker 6: you said his name, I might cry, but that didn't
• 44:59
  Speaker 6: take away the fact that I don't want to act
• 45:02
  Speaker 6: as if he never existed, Like I wanted to talk
• 45:05
  Speaker 6: about him. I enjoyed talking about the cute things that
• 45:08
  Speaker 6: he would do or you know, and I still to
• 45:11
  Speaker 6: this day, like when you say his name like it
• 45:14
  Speaker 6: brings so much joy to my heart to hear total
• 45:17
  Speaker 6: strangers say my son's name. So yeah, I think we
• 45:22
  Speaker 6: often like to talk about our loved ones, and so
• 45:25
  Speaker 6: not being afraid of being there and also not being
• 45:28
  Speaker 6: afraid for you yourself to be uncomfortable, because I feel
• 45:32
  Speaker 6: like your discomfort is probably minimal to their feeling of
• 45:36
  Speaker 6: profound loss. So it's okay if you feel comfortable in
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: that moment, you know.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, this has just been tremendous. Thank you so much,
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Zoomer Moms. As always you have been amazing. As we say,
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: you'll dressed up in your Woodlock Resort shirts and everything.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Everybody looks great. Thank you so much Zoomer Moms. And
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: thank you so much for Renee. This has been tremendous. Now
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: we can all see you on CNN. But where can
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: we find your book?
• 46:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you can visit my website Renee Mars dot com.
• 46:08
  Speaker 6: We have the list of all the retailers, but honestly,
• 46:12
  Speaker 6: you can get the Nature of Change wherever books are sold.
• 46:15
  Speaker 6: My first book, which I you know, published myself, you
• 46:19
  Speaker 6: can only get that on Renee Marsh dot com. But yeah,
• 46:23
  Speaker 6: you can find everything there about the mission and the
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: fourteen percent pledge, and how I hope that through writing
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: these stories, I can one day, you know, say that
• 46:34
  Speaker 6: I did something to move the needle with funding pediatric
• 46:38
  Speaker 6: cancer research and arriving at cures. I really really hope
• 46:41
  Speaker 6: that that could be my story once all is said
• 46:45
  Speaker 6: and done, and you.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: Will, I feel strongly it will be.
• 46:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Renee, and thank you to our sponsor, Woodlocke,
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: who we absolutely love. I cannot wait. I can to
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: go and relax there and have a girl.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: Have to make another trip back to Texas.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Absolutely well, then you'll do, yeah, and then come within
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: in New York because it's yeah pokones, So that'll be great.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I cannot believe the time has passed, but I will
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: throwing a few things that you need to know, ladies.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: If you want to be a Zoomer mom like the
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: women that were on the show today, go to our
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: website inside themomsclub dot com. There is a button that
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: you just push that you go and sign up and
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: send us a film and or send us a video
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: and you might be a zoomer too and get to
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: be on this show. Check us out on social media
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: at inside the Mom's Club. We are on TikTok, Facebook, YouTube,
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: and most of it is me being really silly and ridiculous,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: sometimes portraying different types of moms, very relatable moms. Yes, so,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: but it means I can never run for office because
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: it's very embarrassing all the way around. So but that's
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: fine because I'm sending a good message to you, ladies.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: And also check out our pop ups. We have pop
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: ups all over the country where you can connect with
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: other moms, so we invite you to do that too.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: I cannot thank you. Thank you so much, Consan, thank
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: you Julie for making it back from the Grand Canyon
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: from what you tell her and hope even that they
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: wouldn't even take the donkeys down there, it was so bad,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and yet you made.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: This is key. If the mules aren't going, why am
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: I going? That was That's what That's.
• 48:18
  Speaker 5: A good question.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: So that's a question for another show. We will ask
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: that question. We need to share with Constanza our motto. Yes,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: our tacklinge the thing that we live by here at
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: the Moms Club. If you don't laugh sometimes, ladies.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: You are gonna cry.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: So you want to keep laughing. Keep laughing, and we'll
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: see you next time inside the Mom's Club.